Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Hoops for Thailand

Hey everybody, know you’re probably a 'Wee bit tired of the Nonstop Holiday Shopping spree “N relentless commercials, eh? Especially now that Christmas is over...

Yet this is a pretty cool thing that Ariel’s doing, as she’s planning to go to Thailand as part of the Sparks Circus and provide her multiple Hooping, Clowning, Acting and other skills for the Disadvantaged Children of Burma...

But of course, like everything in life – it takes money to accomplish this feat, and Ariel’s no different in this quest to bring free entertainment to Thailand for which she’s seeking donations for her upcoming trip.

For more information – please check out her website – and then click upon the Sparks Circus Outreach page... As I know Ariel will greatly appreciate it, not to mention the multitudes of Kids they’ll be performing for. So please visit her website at: Ariel Amara.ca

Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy Holidazes...

Just a very short note.. (As I’m afraid I won’t get my letter to Santa on time this year, eh?) To let Y’all know I’ll be taking a brief hiatus from ze Blogosphere – a Whale deserved Holiday break!

Therefore, I’ve gone on a wild winter’s Mr. Toad’s Sleigh ride to Grand Ma-Mah’s house ‘N Younders – NO Posts ‘til next year... Thanks for reading my scribbling’s everyone & Happy Holidays Y’all!

Arrivaderchi,
Tomaso

Merry Kringle


Twas the day before Christmas, when through all of the paddocks.
Not a motor was idling, not even a single Cosworth “Lump” could be heard.
The garages were swept and tidied with care, In hopes that Roger Penske soon would be there; The mechanics were nestled all snug in their beds.While visions of Championship bonuses danced in their heads. (Not to mention HULIO!)And “Princess” in her negligee, *or was that her swim suit?) Along with Paul Tracy in his crash bucket, had just settled down for a quick tryst in the sack.
When out on the lawn there arose such a racket, ‘ol PT sprang from the bed to see what “TAG, Suitcase Servia, Whiney Bags and Bad Bobby D’ were groaning about.

Away to the window Tracy flew like a demon. Ran over the back markers and punted the Hamburgular clear outta the way.

The smoke from between Sea Bass’s ears. Glistened like a smoke signal, without a glow. When, what to PT’s wandering eyes should appear.But a Ferrari ENZO followed by an armada of Prancing Horses in tow.
The ENZO was piloted by an ex-Formula 1 driver, still brutally quick.That Tracy knew in an instant it must be Michael Schumacher.More rapid than a grid full of Bridgestone alternate “soft rubber tyre’ Formula 1 chassis in “Qualie Two” light fuel tanks mode. The seven times World Champion whistled and jeered, and called them by name;

Now, Mika now, Coulthard! Now, Rubinoe and Ralfanso!
On, Heinz-Harald! On Villeneuve! On Damion and Irvine!

To the front of the grid! To the head of the pack.
Now burn rubber, burn rubber baby, burn rubber quick!

As tyre tracks that leave ominous black streaks behind. While Herr Schumacher leaves another competitor far behind!

So up to the roof-top the Prancing Horses flew. With trunk loads of presents and Schuey too. And then, came a banshee wail of the ENZO, high atop the roof.

The revving and idling of each assorted Ferrari. As PT rubbed his hands. Down the chimney Schuey forlornly came. He was dressed all in Scuderia Red, from his head to his foot.And his Nomex driver’s suit was all tarnished with ashes and soot; an assortment of winning trophies, he’d stuffed into his back pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! His rosy cheeks, how they glowed.
His hair as always was perfect, (by Loreal...) his jaw like a chisel! His lips clenched in a mischievous smirk. As the smile was reminiscent of a Cheshire cat;

The remains of a Cuban cigar hung limply from his teeth. As clouds of Smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a taunt face and washboard abs. that still showed his youthful physique when he laughed at the dumbfounded PT. He was strong and fit as an ox, a festive and jolly elf; Thus Paul could only laugh when he appeared
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head. Soon gave TRACY nothing to fear. As Schuey spoke nary a word, but went straight to his work. Filling all of the stockings with various racing trinkets. (Such as the 2002 Borg Warner Cup, a new three year contract signed by P.L. Newman & Carl Haas along with some of the Hamburgular’s secret winning sauce…)

Before Messer Chrome Horn could wipe away his astonishment, the famous German turned Quickly, laying his finger aside of his nose. And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; He sprang to his idling ENZO, and to his waiting minions gave a whistle. And the screeching of tortured Ferrari lumps could be heard as they burst away like rocket ships! But ‘ol PT heard him exclaim, as he power-slided out of sight;
"Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night."

Schuey goes Tingly ALL over – upcoming F1 season...


Merry Kringle Y'all!
Tomaso

(Written by Tomaso – December, 2007)

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Paris Jump Starts Small Bore ScooterLand


(Paris Hilton photo by Bauer Griffin)

Otay, this was just too good to pass up – especially since I haven’t scribbled ‘bout that Blonde Strumpet (Paris) since way back in ‘07...

Gray Bar du Hilton

So in case you haven’t heard the word; Damsel-in-Distress (Or is ‘Dat Hot Pink?) Paris Hilton has decided to cash-in and become a Co-owner of the SuperMartXé VIP team, as fortunately the Moto 125cc GP squad’s Scooter Piloto’s Sergio Gadea and Maverick Viñales won’t haveda wear the exact tight fitting Hot Pink uni Paris was during the Press Conference...

Paris Hilton Buys Into Motorcycle Racing Team

F1: 2010 Abu Dhabi GP – Season Finale recap



Sebastian Vettel, Weltmesister!"

Those were the words played over the television world feed uttered by Red Bull Racing Engineer Rocky Rocquelin – As in Vettel’s race engineer... Upon proclaiming Sebastian as the 2010 World Champion – the youngest World Champion in the sport’s history; at 23-years and 134-days young... Taking the record away from Lewis Hamilton, who’d previously usurped Fernando Alonso...

As I still cannot believe that Master ‘Zebb (Vettel) did IT!

Having done BLOWN UP! Whilst leading the inaugural Korean GP, Vettel seemed a distant long-shot to Mwah, needing to win the final two races + have some help... As I, along with many – were critical towards Red Bull’s decision to let Sebastian win at Interlagos, ahead of Webber – who would have gone to Abu Dhabi one point behind Alonso, instead of the eight he started the day of the race upon Yas Isle, while Vettel began from Pole 15-markers adrift of rosso numero eight...

Bright Lights to shine on Abu Dhabi season finale

Round 19 of 19
(Yas Island, Abu Dhabi: (UAE) Nov 14, 2010)

Top 3 Qualifiers
Pole: Sebastian Vettel; Red Bull
2nd: Lewis Hamilton; McLaren
3rd: Fernando Alonso; Ferrari

Other Top 10 Qualifiers
P7) Rubens Barrichello; Williams
P10) R- Vitaly Petrov; Renault

Top 3 Finishers
Winner: Sebastian Vettel; Red Bull
2nd: Lewis Hamilton; McLaren
3rd: Jenson Button; McLaren

Other Point Scorers
P5) Robert Kubica; Renault
P6) R- Vitaly Petrov; Renault
P9) Jaime Alguersuari; Scuderia Toro Rosso

Race Drive of Abu Dhabi
Whale obviously this could easily go to Master ‘Zebb, (Vettel) but I’m giving it to the Rookie ‘Rooskie instead... As Renault’s Vitaly Petrov whose reportedly fighting for his job in F1 drove a masterful race, his finest ever – to date, by holding off Fredrico Suave, nee Fred Alonso for nearly 40-laps, as the Scuderia Ferrari Piloto was simply unable to pass Petrov, who not only had Ferdi-the-Putz filling his mirrors, but Mark Webber’s Red Bull nipping at Alonso’s heels the entire race as the two Championship hopefuls finished behind Vitaly! Whilst Ferdi further cemented his Moniker by reputedly wildly gesticulating to Vitaly that he was Number One immediately afterwards; but I’m happy to hear that Vitaly told Ferdi he’s Numero Uno back!


McLaren
Although the Woking Boyz finished on the Podium, albeit the second and third steps – I’d say they were never really in it, even though ‘Louise “JAGUAR” (Hamilton) pressured Vettel for the lead in the beginning, before effectively burning up his tyres... As I seem to recall a Radio transmission saying he needed tyres? NEGATIVE Lewis – you’ll haveda stay out. (Or was that Interlagos?) And then Louise claimed he couldn’t do a BLOODY thing to get around The Krakow Kid. (Kubica) thus motoring home runner-up.

Meanwhile ‘JENSE, who started directly behind Lewis; Hmm? Just noticed they both started on the “Dirty” side of the track... Ran a long first stint vs. Hamilton’s short stint, even leading the race for awhile – before making his mandatory Pitstop, and then running home to the flag in P3...

No. 1) J. Button: Q) 4th; R) 3rd
No. 2) L. Hamilton: Q) 2nd; R) 2nd
(Car No; Driver)

Name; Q-R
Button 5-7
Hamilton 14-12
(Head-to-Head Standings)

Mercedes
Ironically, it was DER TERMINATOR’s mistake that opened the door for Master Zebb’s (Vettel) improvable World Championship... Having been battling with Bosom Buddy ‘Rubino and then teammate Nico on the opening lap, Herr Schumacher applied a tad bit too much throttle and ended up looping his ‘Merc straight into the path of the oncoming luckless Vitantonio Liuzzi – who almost gave Michael a haircut... As Tonio’s Force India lurched over the stricken Mercedes! Before the two Gran Primo Piloto’s walked away laughing...

Interestingly, Nico who’d been On-fire in the first two ‘Qualie sessions before dropping down the Timesheets – one place behind Schuey... Had used up his allotment of prime rubber, having to use the options instead for the start of the race – immediately dipped into Pitlane during Michael’s Safety Car period to go back onto the preferred prime’s and then simply marched forward as everybody else needed to pit. Ultimately finishing fourth on a track nearly impossible to pass upon...

So did Michael really spend his free time in the Mercedes Motorhome doctoring Britany’s passport?
Michael Schumacher guilty as charged!

No. 3) M. Schumacher: Q) 8th; R) Retired: Accident (23rd)
No. 4) N. Rosberg: Q) 9th; R) 4th

Name; Q-R
Schumacher 5-5
Rosberg 14-14

Red Bull
What can I say ‘bout young Master ‘Zebb that hasn’t already been said, eh? As I NEVER even remotely thought he had a chance at grabbing the title away from Ferdi – so I guess good things really do happen to those who deserve it, right? While Mark “80-grit” Webber seemed to finally crack(?) from the pressure of claiming his debutant Driver’s Crown... Qualifying a flatfooted fifth; behind all four of his title rivals... then clipping the wall with his rear tyre, he pitted for new rubber in a move the Scuderia Boyz copied which saw both drivers hopelessly trapped behind ‘Rooskie Petrov to the chequered flag!

Sebastion: You are World Champion! Can you Confirm that please...

No. 5) S. Vettel: Q) Pole; R) Winner
No. 6) M. Webber: Q) 5th; R) 8th

Name; Q-R
Vettel 12-12
Webber 7-7

Ferrari
I ABSOLUTELY LUV IT!!! Fredrico Suave, nee Fred Alonso didn’t win the World Championship! In what turned out to be the year of points leader’s defaulting in the Season Finale’s, i.e.; will Power and Denny Hamlin to name just two...

And what more can I say then Viva le Reggie! As in How ‘bout those Renault Boyz, eh? As in when was the last time that a Double World Champion could NOT find his way around a rookie driver in a Midpack Renault... As it was absolutely beautiful watching Ferdi bottled up behind Vitaly...

While I also noticed how the “No. 2” drivers at McLaren, Red bull & Ferrari; sadly Felipe Massa has slipped into this category, all dutifully – somewhat, started behind their teammates. As Felipe also fell fowl to the tyre changing game and ultimately wound-up taking the race’s final point in tenth...

No. 7) F. Massa: Q) 6th; R) 10th
No. 8) F. Alonso: Q) 3rd; R) 7th

Name; Q-R
Massa 4-5
Alonso 15-14

Lotus
While according to ‘KOVY (Heikke Kovalainen) he had a trouble free run home to 17th place, the same can’t be said for the somewhat ‘Scrumptious “Juan, nee Jarno Trulli, who first had trouble with his front wing and then later on suffered a rear wing failure... Which has to be a tad bit worrisome, eh? Yet the team finished as Numero Uno of the Newboyz Team’s this season and thus I’d certainly like to see an Youtube video of Sir Richard Branson paying off the side bet with protégé Tony Fernandes... when Sir Richie Rich spends the day ‘Schlepping as a Flight Stewardess aboard one of Fernandes’s Air Asia flights... NO! I’ll stick to the tea instead of you Mr. Branson!

No. 18) J. Trulli: Q) 19th; R) 21st (-4 laps; Rear Wing failure)
No. 19) H. Kovalainen: Q) 20th; R) 17th (-1 lap)

Name; Q-R
Trulli 11-5
Kovalainen 8-14

Hispania
The little team that COULD! As this has to be the smallest budgeted team on the grid? Especially since going with a cobbled together Dallara-designed chassis the entire season, which saw Bruno get into hot water for claiming ‘bout chassis updates that he’d gotten a new Rolex! Hmm? That isn’t inscribe to Uncle Bernaughty on the back is it? (Hya!)

And both drivers thanked the team, which makes me momentarily think they’re saying their goodbye’s... Which I hope isn’t the case for Messer Bruno, who I’d assume will be back next year – with perhaps the Incredible Hulk (Nico Hulkenberg) as his teammate... Hey Nico, you’d be wise to eat your words and pull a Quick Nick (Heidfeld) who drove for free at Jordan Grand Prix one year just in order to stay in Formula 1! As just ask Christian Klien how hard it’s been to find a ride, eh? Not to mention has anybody seen “Cowboy” Chandhok lately?

No. 20) Christian Klien: Q) 24th; R) 20th (-2 laps)
No. 21) R-Bruno Senna: Q) 23rd; R) 19th (-2 laps)

Name; Q-R
Klien 2-1
Senna 1-2
---------------------
Yamamoto 1-2
Senna 5-4
---------------------
Chandhok 1-1
Yamamoto 0-0
---------------------
Chandhok 3-7
Senna 6-2

Virgin
Although I’d hazard a guess that the verdict’s still out upon relying 100% on CFD virtual design vs. Wind Tunnel testing Mr. Wirth... I cannot say that I’ve been even remotely impressed by the woeful performance of the Virgin’s – which is too bad since I like The Glockster... Ever since timo glock first drove in relief duty at Jordan Grand Prix way back in ‘04. Substituting for Giorgio Pantano during a cash dispute at the Canadian GP where Glock scored his first two Grand Prix points with a fine seventh place finish...

And I still don’t know nothing ‘bout Messer di Grassi, apart from it too sounded like he was saying his goodbye – not to mention the team has already announced the seat’s available for a mere 5.0m Euros!

No. 24) T. Glock: Q) 21st; R) Retired: Gearbox (22nd)
No. 25) R-Lucas di Grassi: Q) 22nd; R) 18th (-2 laps)

Name; Q-R
Glock 17-11
Di Grassi 2-8

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

‘Bia Throws Down at Brazilian Kart-fest...


Just spotted this whilst perusing BloggerLand yesterday... Over at “Johnnie Parson’s” (NOT!) IndyCar Blogsite; although I did have to “Goggle-it” just to make sure it wasn’t another of JP’s Fast ‘Juan’s, since occasionally he likes to pull a “Flyer,” Err Fake Field-goal – Yeah, that’s the ticket; Hya!

But Ana “Bia” Figueirido Beatriz did really win the second day’s 2010 Felipe Massa Charity Go Kart race – by passing somebody known here at No Fenders as ‘Rubino! Check it out in;

Barriers Still Being Broken

Hopefully this’ll give BIA some more traction towards landing a Fulltime Gig in the Big Carz (Indy Cars) for 2011 – Hmm? I think there’s a seat still open at Dale Coyne, eh?

Speedway Sirens flock to Indianapolis in droves: The Centennial Years (2010 Edition)

F1: Inaugural Korean Grand Prix recap

As I previously mentioned – way back yonder, (on 10/26) I bothered staying up into the ‘Wee DARK hours ‘O Sunday morning in order to attempt watching the inaugural Korean Grand Prix live on le Telescreen...

As I scurried ‘bout packing for my trip to Arizona, I didn’t bother setting my Old School VCR – since it’s Pre-Daylight Savings Time2.0, which means that twice a year I have to manually manipulate the machine’s time settings since Comcast has thoroughly ‘Buggered Up the Auto Time Setting features with the FORCED usage of their ALL knowing diggIT! ‘Tul BOX...

And in case you’re wondering, I only stick with this recording medium for the simple fact that I can still READ the On-screen menu vs. NOT being able to visually navigate today’s modern DVR’s – since like all things digital; they’ve gotta use SMALLER font sizes and pack MORE SHEISA (SHIT) into every BLOODY command screen; Aye Karumba!

Yet apparently I was having a flashback to pre dig-IT! ‘Tul BOX, when I had to actually manipulate the time settings four times a year; but I digress... As I’m certain Y’all are ponderin’ what this has to do with the Korean GP, rhight? Whale it means I tried getting the Formula One action taped for Mwah while in Arizona in order to drag home afterwards, yet we had more Technical Difficulties, which meant that the stuff was on DVR – but NOT on ‘Ol School Memorex...

Thus, Saturday evening we sat down to watch a very entertaining ‘Qualie show, to which was very enjoyable for me – getting to show off my fast knowledge of F1; Hya! As Alfonso asked, who’s KOB? Oh that must be Kobayashi. Who’s HUL? Nico Hulkenberg – BAM! As you get the idea right?

Then Miguel enquired about the 8-engine rule, which seems to get a tad bit muddled I must say by the announcers, as I calmly explained how each Formula 1 Driver is allowed eight engines per season, which must last a minimum of 3-race weekends; excluding Friday’s, when a further four engines may be used during practice/testing. And as Bob Varsha has waxed on excessively; if a driver exceeds this allotment then he’ll be forced to incure a 10-Grid spot penalty the following race. Although currently this regulation enables two engines to only need to run two racing weekends, thus leaving some space for maneuvering engine utilization...

And although these technological masterpieces have become exceedingly reliable with the mandated design “freeze,” being slightly “De-tuned” to a maximum of 18,000rpm’s. Nevertheless we have witnessed Alonso and Vettel see an engine apiece go KABLAMOE!

On a lighter note, Joyce first informed me that her Numero Uno racecar colour-wise/livery was hands down the McLarens, saying they’ve got a very cool chrome theme goin’ on... Then at the end of the program whilst watching the Post-qualifying interviews she told us repeatedly that all 3-drivers were HOT! I mean they’re all HOT – Dude!

Round 17 of 19
(Korea: October 24, 2010)

Top 3 Qualifiers
Pole: Sebastian Vettel; Red Bull
2nd: Mark Webber; Red bull
3rd: Fernando Alonso; Ferrari

Other Top 10 Qualifiers
P8) Robert Kubica; Renault
P10) Rubens Barrichello; Williams

Thus, I was quite happy to see Master ‘Zebb (Vettel) come out on TOP once again. And I decided I’d go for watching the race live the same Saturday night at 11PM, I mean it’s only a 2.5hr show – right? NOT!

As I said - I had decided to try watching the race live on the “Tellie” into the very DARK ‘Wee hours of the morning Sunday... Can you say EMBARRASSMENT? At least that’s what somebody should be, i.e.; EMBARRASSED! Since I know that soon to be 80yrs OLD Uncle Bernaughty (Ecclestone: 10/28/10) DON’T give a CRAP as long as the race goes on and he gets his 14-figures wired into his account before the Green flag drops!

But C’mon Clowns! That had to be the most ill-advised inaugural Grand Prix hosted in many Moons, eh? After Fredrico Suave was heard saying it was the WORST conditions he’d ever faced and ‘JENSE said he couldn’t see his front tyres! As the Formula One Freightrain pounded ‘round behind the hydroplaning Safety Car before a Red flag was thrown... As we viewers were treated to a 1-hour RAIN delay; SHEISA!

As I recall jokes being made ‘bout the AMG ‘Merc Safety Car leading more laps then the F1 Cars... As what in the HELL was that 17-lap Parade all about, eh?

And that’s without mentioning how the track was built upon a swamp/marshland and A) was inevitably LOW Sea level-wise, which wasn’t helping the drainage issues. B) There was a massive Mosquito infestation and C) Reputedly the infield portion assigned to F1 Journalists/Photographers was also infested with SNAKES!

Yet, I fell asleep somewhere’s between 1AM-onwards West Coast-Arizona-Seattle-Pacific Time; Oh Never Mind! As I let the show roll-on with 10-laps remaining, in total DISGUST after Master ‘Zebb’s “Reggie” lump when ‘KUH-BLAMOE! (While leading...) FUCK!!! Son ‘O a Bitch! That Frillin’ Fredrico Suave (Fred Alonso) won as I DEJECTEDLY turned off the TV at 2:01AM as soon as that SMUG S.O.B. crossed the line feeling totally GUTTED! Whale probably not as GUTTED as Sebastian felt, eh? SHEISA! (SHIT!)

As now the Formula 1 Championship is turned upside down once again; Aye Karumba! As I really wish I knew who it was in the Paddock who recently said he thought Fred Alonso would win the title ‘cause he knows EVERY DIRTY TRICK in the Book! (‘Nuff Said, Eh!)

Top 3 Finishers
Winner: Fernando Alonso; Ferrari
2nd: Lewis Hamilton; McLaren
3rd: Felipe Massa; Ferrari

Other Point Scorers
P5) Robert Kubica; Renault
P6) Vitantonio Liuzzi; Force India
P7) Rubens Barrichello; Williams
P8) Kamui Kobayashi; Sauber
P9) Nick Heidfeld; Sauber
P10) R-Nico Hulkenberg; Williams

Race Drive of Korea
Although this should most likely go to all of the 24 Gran Primo Piloto’s – for driving in exceedingly DANGEROUS conditions... Nevertheless, I vaguely recall being overly impressed by ‘tonio’s (Vitantonio Liuzzi) wet weather drive and thus the Star-crossed Italian garners my vote for this honour at Korea...


F1 Teams: McLaren
No. 1) J. Button: Q) 7th; R) 12th
No. 2) L. Hamilton: Q) 4th; R) 2nd
(Car No; Driver)

Name Q R
Button 5 7
Hamilton 12 10
(Head-to-Head Standings)

Mercedes
No. 3) M. Schumacher: Q) 9th; R) 4th
No. 4) N. Rosberg: Q) 5th; R) Retired: Accident (24th)

Name Q R
Schumacher 3 5
Rosberg 14 12

Red Bull
No. 5) S. Vettel: Q) Pole; R) Retired: Engine (17th)
No. 6) M. Webber: Q) 2nd; R) Retired: Accident (23rd)

Name Q R
Vettel 10 10
Webber 7 7

Ferrari
No. 7) F. Massa: Q) 6th; R) 3rd
No. 8) F. Alonso: Q) 3rd; R) Winner

Name Q R
Massa 4 5
Alonso 13 12

Lotus
No. 18) J. Trulli: Q) 19th; R) Retired: Hydraulics (22nd)
No. 19) H. Kovalainen: Q) 21st; R) 13th (-1 lap)

Name Q R
Trulli 9 5
Kovalainen 8 12

Hispania
No. 20) Sakon Yamamoto: Q) 23rd; R) 15th (-2 laps)
No. 21) R-Bruno Senna: Q) 24th; R) 14th (-2 laps)

Name Q R
Yamamoto 1 2
Senna 5 4
-------------------------------------------
Klien 1 1
Senna 0 0
-------------------------------------------
Chandhok 1 1
Yamamoto 0 0
-------------------------------------------
Chandhok 3 7
Senna 6 2

Virgin
No. 24) T. Glock: Q) 20th; R) Retired: Damage (19th)
No. 25) R-Lucas di Grassi: Q) 22nd; R) Retired: Accident (21st)

Name Q R
Glock 15 10
Di Grassi 2 7

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Other Tom Walkinshaw

Recently I scribbled some thoughts towards the late Messer Walkinshaw... In which perhaps I was a trifle too harsh? Having called the esteemed Scotsman a total Wanker...

As you see, I don’t have anything against Walkinshaw, and my comments were from a long-long-time ago in a Far-away land. It’s just that I was always a fan of THE BOSS’s, a.k.a. Jos Verstappen, who I feel was one of the more colourful characters in Formula 1 – perhaps a ‘Wee bit like Irv-the-Swerve, eh? (Eddie Irvine)

And thus, I too was disappointed by Verstappen being let-go in favour of Heinz 57 (Heinz-Harald Frentzen) who was also a decent bloke too – who just seemed unable to escape Herr Schumacher’s shadow. As I seem to recall being even harsher upon the plucky EJ (Eddie Jordan) for his most distasteful dumping of Frentzen from Jordan Grand Prix just a scant two days prior to Friday’s practice for Frentzen’s home race at der Hockenheimring in 2001; SHEISA!

So I won’t take back my previous words, but must confess that Joe Saward’s Cohort DT (David Tremayne) has written an excellent story pointing out a different take upon the late TW – as I’d hazard a guess Tom was just trying to do whatever to save his empire...

Tom Walkinshaw – another obituary

F1: 2010 Singapore GP recap


(Robert Kubica; Source: f1fanatic.co.uk)

Round 15 of 19
(Singapore – Night race: Sept. 26, 2010)

Whale I for one was overly gripped by the tension oozing from the never ending duel between Fredrico Suave and Master ‘Zebb, as eventual race winner Fernando Alonso traded Fast lap times with Sebastian Vettel... Who eventually finished runner-up while teammate Mark Webber took a somewhat controversial third place after his coming together with Lewis Hamilton in the latter stages of the race, following the second Safety Car period... As the incident was put under investigation by the Race Stewards, who eventually deemed it a “Racing Incident” and handed out no further penalties – effectively scuttling Hamilton’s title chances? McLaren teammate ‘JENSE (Button) came home P4 after giving chase to Webber at race’s end as the Drivers Championship points standings tightened up further...

Top 3 Qualifiers
Pole: Fernando Alonso; Ferrari
2nd: Sebastian Vettel; Red Bull
3rd: Lewis Hamilton; McLaren

Other Top 10 Qualifiers
P6) Rubens Barrichello; Williams
P8) Robert Kubica; Renault
P10) Kamui Kobayashi; Sauber

F1: Singapore Notes

Top 3 Finishers
Winner: Fernando Alonso; Ferrari
2nd: Sebastian Vettel; Red Bull
3rd: Mark Webber; Red Bull

Other Point Scorers
P6) Rubens Barrichello; Williams
P7) Robert Kubica; Renault
) P9) Adrian Sutil; Force India
P10) R-Nico Hulkenberg; Williams

Race Drive of Singapore
Whale initially I’d have given this to Felipe Massa for starting ‘Stone-last and driving to finish eighth; BUT! ‘the Krakow Kid, (Robert Kubica’s) drive from a late race Pitstop to replace a slowly deflating tyre and then making many electrifying passes to recapture seventh place with his carbon brakes glowing white HOT simply was ‘Mega impressive!

Singapore Slings ‘N Fire Flies


McLaren
Both drivers were uncharacteristically off of the pace of the leading duo, effectively battling for the Podium’s final step with Aussie Mark Webber... Before Lewis got it all wrong? And was handed his second straight DNF whilst Button was unable to get past Webber...

No. 1) J. Button: Q) 4th; R) 4th
No. 2) L. Hamilton: Q) 3rd; R) Retired: Damage - Collision (19th)
(Car No; Driver)

Name; Q-R
Button 5-6
Hamilton 10-9
(Head-to-Head Standings)

Mercedes
Another typical Team performance with Nico ahead of ‘Schuey, who spent quite a bit ‘O time tangling with others... Even going so far as to be “Hip-checked” by “K-Squared,” (Kamui Kobayashi) effectively ending his race with Michael soldiering home outside the Top-10...

No. 3) M. Schumacher: Q) 9th; R) 13th
No. 4) N. Rosberg: Q) 7th; R) 5th

Name; Q-R
Schumacher 3-3
Rosberg 12-12

Red Bull
Master ‘Zebb who’d looked untouchable in the first 3-practice sessions before admitting to having a sloppy time in Qualifying was simply unable to drive around “Ferdi-the-Putz,” while Webber was having a “Smashing Time” with ‘JAGUAR who apparently thought the Aussie would simply pull over in their ‘Mega Scrum for the Championship...

No. 5) S. Vettel: Q) 2nd; R) 2nd
No. 6) M. Webber: Q) 5th; R) 3rd

Name; Q-R
Vettel 8-8
Webber 7-7

Ferrari
Begrudgingly, I haveda admit that ‘Fredrico Suave, nee Fred Alonso drove a brilliant race enroute to taking the Sport’s first “Grand Slam:” Pole, Victory, Fastest lap and leading Wire-to-Wire since Michael Schumacher did so at Hungary in 2004! While I’ve already noted above how well Felipe rebounded from his devastating mechanical fault in Qualifying (see F1 Singapore Notes above) and finished a respectable eighth.

No. 7) F. Massa: Q) 24th/NO Time R) 8th
No. 8) F. Alonso: Q) Pole; R) Winner

Name; Q-R
Massa 4-5
Alonso 11-10

Lotus
GREAT BALLS ‘O FIRE – KOVY! As Heikki Kovalainen’s Lotus lit-up the night sky towards the end of the race with a very illuminating (and scary) fire... As I too echoed Steve Matchett’s words: “GET OUTTA THE CAR DUDE!” Further concurring with ‘Hobbo’s sentiments of NOT worrying ‘bout putting the Steering wheel back on and subsequent fine... As KOVY emerged unscathed from the marshmallow roast! While teammate Jarno (KNOTSOE) “Scrumptious” Trulli retired once again...

No. 18) J. Trulli: Q) 21st; R) Retired: Hydraulics (23rd)
No. 19) H. Kovalainen: Q) 19th; R) 16th (-3 laps; Fire)

Name; Q-R
Trulli 7-5
Kovalainen 8-10

Hispania
All I recall for this Minnowesqe Squad was the accident involving Bruno whilst Newboy Christian Klien finished in front of Senna. (Due to Bruno’s accident...) As the Austrian driver was making his first Grand Prix start since 2006 – for “Sackoe Moneyato” (Sakon Yamamoto) who was reputedly suffering from a suspicious case ‘O food poisoning...

No. 20) Christian Klien: Q) 22nd; R) Retired: Hydraulics (20th)
No. 21) R-Bruno Senna: Q) 23rd; R) Retired: Accident (22nd)

Name; Q-R
Klien 1-1
Senna 0-0
---------------------
Yamamoto 0-2
Senna 4-2
---------------------
Chandhok 1-1
Yamamoto 0-0
---------------------
Chandhok 3-7
Senna 6-2

Virgin
So during the opening stint of the race, Timo Glock was going to get my nod for the Race Drive with his masterful driving Clinique he was giving the much more powerful ‘BullyBoyz of Force India’s Adrian Sutil, Williams Nico Hulkenberg, Renault’s Vitaly Petrov and even Scuderia Ferrari’s Felipe Massa I believe... Before Glock’s Virgin melted under the intense pressure of these highly established Constructors, as Glock’s chassis ultimately failed him, retiring from a Hydraulics failure.

Meanwhile Lucas di Grassi’s name only came up for apparently being the Backmarker who didn’t pull over for the leaders after the second Safety Car period and was the Pick Hamilton tried using to pass Webber which all went wrong for the Briton...

No. 24) T. Glock: Q) 18th; R) Retired: Hydraulics (17th)
No. 25) R-Lucas di Grassi: Q) 20th; R) 15th (-2 laps)

Name; Q-R
Glock 14-8
Di Grassi 1-7

Monday, December 20, 2010

F1: 2010 Belgian GP recap


(Kimi Raikkonen; Source: f1fanatic.co.uk)

Round 13 of 19
Spa Francorchamps, Belgium: August 29, 2010)

Can it really already be one year-plus since ‘The Kimster’s last Grand Prix victory... When Kimi Raikkonen used his might ‘N “Turbo” button (KERS) to blast past Giancarlo Fisichella’s surprisingly fast Force India chassis...

Arivaderchi Luca?

And although I have heard and read about the late Stefan Bellof, I was unaware that it was the 25th Anniversary of his death this past September 1st, which I only discovered upon returning from Indianapolis – finally being able to scour ze internets after watching the Belgian Grand Prix via the Memorex nearly one week later...

Stefan Bellof – 25 years later

Top 3 Qualifiers
Pole: Mark Webber; Red Bull
2nd: Lewis Hamilton; McLaren
3rd: Robert Kubica; Renault

Other Top 10 Qualifiers
P7) Rubens Barrichello; Williams
P8) Adrian Sutil; Force India
P9) R-Nico Hulkenberg; Williams

Top 3 Finishers
Winner: Lewis Hamilton; McLaren
2nd: Mark Webber; Red Bull
3rd: Robert Kubica; Renault

Other Point Scorers
P5) Adrian Sutil; Force India
P8) Kamui Kobayashi; Sauber
P9) R- Vitaly Petrov; Renault
P10) Vitantonio Liuzzi; Force India

Race Drive of Spa Francorchamps
Although there are other more “Established Starz” to choose from, I’m giving the nod once again to the ever improving “Rooskie,” nee Rookie Russian Gran Primo Piloto Vitaly Petrov, who started ‘Stone-last after slithering off in Q1 in the rain and then rebounding to drive all the way up to a fine ninth place finish...


McLaren
Whale it seemed to be a tale of two different worlds for the pair of World Champions, as the young Louise “JAGUAR” Hamilton seemingly drove off into the Sunset, Err variable weather conditions, whilst ‘JENSE was the recipient of being center-punched by Sebastian Vettel in his haste to try chasing down the leading Hamilton as everyone was stacking up behind button...

No. 1) J. Button: Q) 5th; R) Retired: Accident (22nd)
No. 2) L. Hamilton: Q) 2nd; R) Winner
(Car No; Driver)

Name; Q-R
Button 4-4
Hamilton 9-9
(Head-to-Head Standings)

Mercedes
Another fairly typical weekend at Mercedes, with the younger Rosberg once again outshining his elder Teamate DER TERMINATOR, albeit both Nico dropped five Grid spots for a Gearbox change while Schuey was receiving a 10 Grid spot penalty for trying to make Rubino into a Jersey-barrier Sandwich at the Hunga-boring race. But they were helped out by a rash of time penalties being handed out for various infractions during Qualifying.

Yet, I’m guessing that Norbert Haug and Ross Brawn musta grimaced somewhat when Michael gave Nico his patented Schuey Swerve when hitting his Front wing with his rear tyre as the two tried overtaking each other! Yet both Drivers managed to persevere ‘N finish the race in the points, albeit somewhat Midpackish with Rosberg getting past his elder teammate...

No. 3) M. Schumacher: Q) 11th; R) 7th
No. 4) N. Rosberg: Q) 12th; R) 6th

Name; Q-R
Schumacher 3-3
Rosberg 10-10

Red Bull
‘Aussie Mark Webber celebrated his 34th Birthday by securing the Pole before following Hamilton home as runner-up... As I’m becoming more “N more impressed by his sheer determination & maturity, and sincerely hope he’ll be crowned World Champion at the end of the season... While his younger Teammate seems to be suffering(?) from the added pressure of trying to fend off Webber’s “Superiority,” especially since he’s supposed to be Numero Uno! And once again Master ‘Zebb seemed to suffer from over-aggressive driving, suffering not one but two race incidents before soldiering home a lowly P15...

No. 5) S. Vettel: Q) 4th; R) 15th (-1 lap)
No. 6) M. Webber: Q) Pole; R) 2nd

Name; Q-R
Vettel 7-6
Webber 6-7

Ferrari
It was nice once again to see Felipe Massa outshine his Double World Champion Teammate Fredrico Suave, a.k.a. Fred Alonso, as the Brazilian rolled off sixth and finished fourth; while Alonso’s race seemed scuttled by poor tyre choices while trying to guess what the weather would do? Hmm? Y’all don’t think that the Scuderia would purposely favour Massa one race ahead of the (then) upcoming World Motor Sport Councils’ meeting upon that hideous German GP Team Order Shemozzle, eh?

No. 7) F. Massa: Q) 6th; R) 4th
No. 8) F. Alonso: Q) 10th; R) Retired: Accident (21st)

Name; Q-R
Massa 4-5
Alonso 9-8

Lotus
Jarno Trulli had another typically disappointing race, tangling with Virgin’s Lucas di Grassi, as both drivers seemed to blame the other, while “KOVY” (Kovalainen) actually cracked the ‘Q1 Qualie session barrier for the Team’s very first time by qualifying 16th, the highest placing of the NewBoyz this season... Then Heikki drove a typically safe race and finished in his exact starting position...

No. 18) J. Trulli: Q) 18th; R) 19th (-1 lap)
No. 19) H. Kovalainen: Q) 16th; R) 16th (-1 lap)

Name; Q-R
Trulli 6-5
Kovalainen 7-8

Hispania
And the shenanigans with “Sackoe Moneyato” go on ‘N on... As I’m still wondering if this has something to due with the rumours of utilizing the stillborn Toyota TF110 chassis in 2011, as its base design? (Nah, it’s now reported that Lotus-ART has some mythical Tie-up with the Colone base...)

No. 20) Sakon Yamamoto: Q) 21st; R) 20th (-2 laps)
No. 21) R-Bruno Senna: Q) 20th; R) Retired; Suspension (23rd)


Name; Q-R
Yamamoto 0-1
Senna 3-2
---------------------
Chandhok 1-1
Yamamoto 0-0
---------------------
Chandhok 3-7
Senna 6-2

Virgin
As mentioned, Di Grassi had a coming together with Lotuses Trulli, which effectively scuttled both Drivers’ races... But Timo Glock managed to hoist the Virgin up to P17 in the ever changing weather conditions during ‘Qualie 1 before motoring home to 18th, also notching Virgin’s first time to advance to the ‘Q2 Qualie session...

No. 24) T. Glock: Q) 17th; R) 18th (-1 lap)
No. 25) R-Lucas di Grassi: Q) 23rd; R) 17th (-1 lap)

Name; Q-R
Glock 12-7
Di Grassi 1-6

Friday, December 17, 2010

Last Lap for ’ANDO and Others

Perhaps by now you’ve heard the news that ‘ANDO, a.k.a. John Anderson has suddenly passed away at the age of 65 years young, whilst apparently suffering a Heart attack after playing racquetball with longtime friend Will Phillips.

And I cannot say I knew much about ANDO, as sadly, it seems that the Team Personnel, i.e.; Managers, Engineers, Mechanics, etc outta the Limelight rarely get the acknowledgement they deserve...

Although I do know I noted ANDO’s taking up residence at USF1, along with knowing he’d been instrumental in running Gil de Ferran’s successful American Le Mans Series foray, along with having been Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti’s winning Team Strategist at Indianapolis in 2007, not to mention Dario’s Indy Racing League Championship that season for Andretti Green Racing.

IndyCar Curmudgeon Robin Miller wrote a very nice piece in SPEED.com ‘bout the late John Anderson, noting the following below regarding his conversations regarding the lamented USF1 Team that ANDO tried to help save late in the game last year...

John Anderson
“We don’t have any equipment yet, or a car, but the shop floor is spotless...”

INDYCAR: Farewell To Ando

Who was Jacques Swaters?
Although I’d never heard of this person before; Grizzled ‘Journo Joe Saward wrote an interesting piece ‘bout the late Jacques Swaters, which I’m drawn to comment ‘bout due to his links to la Scuderia...

Jacques Swaters

Tom Wheatcroft: 1922-2009
Otay, for reasons unknown – I totally missed out upon commenting upon Mr. Wheatcroft’s passing away just over one year ago... As my memories are pretty hazy towards my Solitary “connection” involving Messer Wheatcroft; being that rain soaked 1993 European GP, which I vaguely recall watchin’ on ze Telescreen way back when... With the conditions being quite horrible – whilst the late Ayrton Senna put on another wet weather driving Clinique. Apparently having won the race by a country mile!

Yet, I did somehow manage to catch a quick tour of his ‘Mega Car collection with Barry Meguiar on Car Crazy earlier this year – as I’d LUV to tour the Wheatcroft inspired Donnington Park Grand Prix Experience museum, while I’m happy to say that it appears that the beleaguered Donnington Park Circuit is back Up ‘N Running, which is great news...

Donnington Park GP Experience museum

Tom Wheatcroft: 1922-2009

And I’m certain there are others I’ve missed; but obviously – NOT intentionally...

The Power of Schuey?

In ‘Juan O my many future scribblin’s dotting the No Fenders Office landscape... I’ve come upon another tiny note ‘bout the 2010 Hockenheimring – jotting down from the SPEED broadcast;

Welcome to Der ‘Vurld O Formel Ein Economic Realities, i.e.; shared venues – as in the German GP is now split bi-yearly between the Nurburgring and Hockenheim.

As it was most likely Bob Varsha who pointed out that NOT even DER TERMINATOR’s (M. Schumacher) F1 return could SELL OUT the somewhat beleaguered racetrack... As the Hockenheimring seats 85,000 but only 65,000 tickets were sold.

Of course Schuey’s Free Practice 1 (FP1) results certainly weren’t anything to write home ‘bout; winding-up P23 – finishing ahead of only “Sackoe-Moneyato.” (Sakon Yamamoto) As the Japanese driver was the only Gran Primo Piloto SLOWER then Schuey in the morning’s session; YIKES!

Then I also noted that Herr Schumacher has passed Ricardo Patrese’s career starts tally two races ago, becoming No. 2 all-time behind Rubino. (Barrichello) Who has 295 Grand Prix starts to date, as Sir Frank sez it’s merely a formality towards announcing Rubens return for next year at Team Willie...

“Louise ‘JAGUAR” Hamilton smashes his McLaren MP4-24 in FP1, as the Mechanics feverishly put it back together Just-in-Time for Lewis to go out for the final 10-minutes of FP2; where ‘JAGUAR hauls himself up to P7 on the Timesheets...

40yrs at Hockenheim

F1: 2010 German GP - Stats

Y’all know the drill... As its already been Two years since your Humble Scribe was attending his very first Formel Ein race at the notorious Hockenheimring, albeit – SADLY at the NEUTERED version... Which also happened to be the 40th Anniversary of Jimmy Clark’s untimely demise.
Hockenheimring
German GP Notes – 2008 edition


Round 11 of 19: 2010 German GP(Hockenheimring, Germany: July 25, 2010)

It’s interesting how they may still be somewheres in zeese pyles; Ja-Ja? BUTT! I think I threw them away in DISGUST over the nebulous shenanigans thrust upon us by le Scuderia’s STAGED finish... And therefore I was thoroughly DISGUSTED by inserting Ferdi-the-Putz into P1 which I’ll place an asterisk by his result! Therefore after having chronicled Friday, Saturday and Sunday’s racing action... I simply have ‘NOTHIN to report upon this FARCE of a Grand Prix!

What Team Orders
Pole
Sebastian Vettel; Red Bull: 1min 13.791seconds
Last: Sakon Yamamoto; Hispania: 1:19.844 (23rd)

Other Top 10 QualifiersP7) Robert Kubica; Renault
P8) Rubens Barrichello; Williams
P10) R-Nico Hulkenberg; Williams

Top 3 Finishers
Winner: Fernando Alonso*, Ferrari
Second: Felipe Massa, Ferrari
Third: Nico Rosberg, Mercedes GP

Other Point ScorersP7) Robert Kubica; Renault
P10) R-Vitaly Petrov; Renault

Race Drive of Hockenheim
This most DEFINITELY goes to the forlorn Felipe Massa... whose radio crackled to life with his “Magnanimous” Race Engineer Rob Smedley uttering: “Fernando is FASTER then you – Can you please confirm!” Which was a very blatant attempt at circumventing the “Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge” NO Team Orders rule that is nothing less then Window Dressing... As Professor Steve Matchett wryly barked sometime later: “I’d like a Bacon sandwich; can you confirm, please!”

Thus, Felipe forlornly obliged by pulling over in order to let the higher paid Double World Champion assume the point and dutifully follow him home in second place, albeit, I suppose the German crowd took some solace in Rosberg’s third place, eh?

Rob Smedley:“Good Boy Felipe! As I’ll explain to you what Magnanimous means when you get back to the Pits...”
Rob Smedley Profile
F1 Teams: McLaren
No. 1) J. Button: Q) 5th; R) 5th
No. 2) L. Hamilton: Q) 6th; R) 4th
(Car No; Driver)
Name; Q-R
Button 4-3
Hamilton 7-8
(Head-to-Head Standings)

MercedesNo. 3) M. Schumacher: Q) 11th; R) 9th
No. 4) N. Rosberg: Q) 8th; R) 3rd

Name; Q-R
Schumacher 2-2
Rosberg 9-9

Red Bull
No. 5) S. Vettel: Q) Pole; R) 3rd
No. 6) M. Webber: Q) 4th; R) 6th

Name; Q-R
Vettel 6-6
Webber 5-5

FerrariNo. 7) F. Massa: Q) 3rd; R) 2nd
No. 8) F. Alonso: Q) 2nd; R) Winner*

Name; Q-R
Massa 3-4
Alonso 8-7

LotusNo. 18) J. Trulli: Q) 18th; R) Retired: Gearbox (23rd)
No. 19) H. Kovalainen: Q) 19th; R) Retired: Damage (20th)

Name; Q-R
Trulli 6-5
Kovalainen 5-6

HispaniaNo. 20) Sakon Yamamoto: Q) 23rd; R) Retired: Mechanical (22nd)
No. 21) R-Bruno Senna: Q) 21st; R) 19th (-4 laps)

Name; Q-R
Yamamoto 0-0
Senna 1-1
---------------------
Chandhok 1-1
Yamamoto 0-0
---------------------
Chandhok 3-7
Senna 6-2

Virgin
No. 24) T. Glock: Q) 20th; R) 18th (-3 laps)
No. 25) R-Lucas di Grassi: Q) 24th/NO TIME R) Retired: Suspension (21st)

Name; Q-R
Glock 10-6
Di Grassi 1-5

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Tom Walkinshaw fades away...

Silk Cut Jaguar XJR-14 at Magny Cours, 1991. (Source: mulsannescorner.com)
Perhaps Y’all have heard that Tom Walkinshaw, the guiding force behind TWR (Tom Walkinshaw Racing) passed away on Sunday, December 12, 2010, at the tender age of 64yrs old – having succumbed to his 3-year battle against Cancer...

Tom Walkinshaw R.I.P. 1946-2010
So, I’m not gonna try recapping his illustrious Motorsports career, which has been done all over the Blogosphere... But instead I’ll simply touch upon a few aspects of how I remember Messer Walkinshaw.

I first became aware of Mister Walkinshaw during those heady Jaguar days – when those iconic blue & white Bud Light XJR-Jaguar IMSA GTP Prototypes were carving up the Sports Cars landscape... As I seem to recall the North America’s lead driver being Davy Jones, along with Price Cobb... Although I’m certain there were many more - as Raul Bosel, Martin “Billy Bob” Brundle and Arie Luyendyk most easily come to mind for me. Although I tend to remember something ‘bout Derek Daly doin’ 240mph+ on le Mulsanne Straight in those dominant Jaguar XJR-9’s... When the TWR-cars won the classic 24 Heurs du Mans twice, while gosh-gee-wilikers... I now seem to think someone name Eddie Cheever drove for The Cat too, eh?

And I mostly saw The Cat’s at; Yep! You guessed it... Portland International Raceway, as they always put on a very good show, albeit I had a most enjoyable outing whilst once attending an IMSA GTP race in San Diego, CA. As a guest of an ex-Jaguar Test Driver, who took me to sleepy ‘Ol Del Mar in a Jaguar XJS V-12 (making mincemeat of a Lincoln Mercury XKR-7? Who wanted to play with us...) to watch the super fast Bud Light twin turbo Jag’s dominate the field ‘round the Del Mar Horsetrack grounds... As I can’t remember exactly what year this was, ‘cept ‘Gentleman John (Andretti) was driving a gold & white Miller Beer Porsche 962 – which I’ve got pic’s of stashed awayz some where’s...

Yet my favourite Jaguar was the menacing looking XJR-14 green Silk Cut World Sports Car (WSC) racecar – which to me was most radical looking... A sorta Formula 1 racecar on Steroids, with the ubiquitous Airbox overheads of the extremely narrow cockpit surround. As I’d forgotten that that chassis was running a rebadged 3.5-liter normally aspirated Ford HB V-8, taken off of the 1990-91 Benetton-Ford’s lump, albeit slightly detuned in hopes of reliability concerns... As this was the era when Ford owned Jaguar and hence the Ford engine connection – as the HB lump was quite competitive in Formula One during this time period...

And although not directly concerning TWR, as Jaguar Racing F1 was born outta the Stewart Grand Prix concern, I’ll always chuckle to myself when recalling seeing ‘Scooter, nee Scott Pruett sandwiched between those Jagg-U-war Boyz Mark “Bicycles R-Us” Webber and Justin BIG UNIT Wilson; as Pruett was piloting a Bud Light Cat at Daytona that year...

And while Walkinshaw was instrumental in Benetton’s rise to power as a Formula One Champion, most notably for bringing their Technical knowledge to the forefront; not to mention bringing Ross Brawn to the party... Yet for Mwah, Tom was best known for poaching a very young German by the name of Michael Schumacher from EJ, (Eddie Jordan) before ultimately falling out with Flavour Flav (Flavio Briatore) and buying the Arrows Grand Prix team...

But sadly thru all of Walkinshaw’s accomplishments, my strongest memory of tom will always be the FUCK TOM! T-Shirts at the Nurburgring... Which I scribbled ‘bout in my Nurburgring, 2002 Trip recap; as apparently Yuhs simply DON’T PISS OFF the Dutch – Yuhs Here!

European GP: Nurburgring – June 21-23, 2002With evening having fallen, becoming dark outside, tired and feeling relaxed after the Bitburger’s; I fell asleep while Mary Ellen went out on her own; as she told me there were several drunks everywhere and that the Dutch seemed to be the rowdiest.

She told me they were wearing T-Shirts that said: “FUCK TOM!” What’s that all about? I just lay there laughing out loud… I explained how Tom Walkinshaw had just (let-go) fired Jos “THE BOSS” Verstappen from Arrows... Replacing him with “Heinz 57.” (Heinz Harald Frentzen) As apparently the Dutch are very loyal about their race drivers! As I still chuckle about this even now. It makes me very happy to see such devotion publicly displayed and as it turned out Walkinshaw was a total “Wanker!”


 

Nurburgring, 2002

You may also be interested in reading: The Other Tom Walkinshaw

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

F1: 2010 British GP - Stats


(Mark Webber; Source: f1fanatic.co.uk)

Round 10 of 19(Silverstone, UK: July 11, 2010)

”NOT BAD FOR A NUMBER 2 DRIVER!”
Those were the razor sharp words of Mark Webber’s vengeance upon his winning the British GP after crossing the line that echoed round the world via the FIA’s replaying of his radio transmission...

As the Aussie was still fuming a day later after all of the contretemps during Qualifying where Master ‘Zebb’s nose, Err his RB6’s nose fell off in Saturday morning’s practice and then was given Webber’s front nose, as it was the only one of higher specification remaining – with the Team claiming it would give the latest developments to it’s current points leader... (Or whom the Team was allegedly favouring?) Hmm? And Austrian Team and a German driver, as Vettel used his new nose to snatch another Pole away from Webber.

And thus after Webber ‘N Vettel tussled on the race’s opening lap, with the Aussie NOT to be denied and ‘Zebb getting a flat tyre after incurring kerbing damage, Err contact with ‘Louise “JAGUAR” Hamilton’s front wing... Webber set sail for the chequered flag! As Vettel was fortunate to recover to seventh place after another entertaining Safety Car period, whilst the Scuderia walloped away Mid-pack, as adding insult to injury, Fredrico Suave, nee Fred Alonso wasn’t allowed to serve his Drive-thru penalty until after the Safety Car period was over...

Pole
Sebastian Vettel; Red Bull: 1min 13.791seconds
Last: Sakon Yamamoto; Hispania: 1:19.844 (23rd)

Other Top 10 QualifiersP6) Robert Kubica; Renault
P8) Rubens Barrichello; Williams
P9) Pedro De la Rosa; Sauber

Top 3 Finishers
Winner: Mark Webber; Red Bull
Second: Lewis Hamilton; McLaren
Third: Nico Rosberg; Mercedes GP

Other Point ScorersP5) Rubens Barrichello; Williams
P6) Kamui Kobayashi; Sauber
P8) Adrian Sutil; Force India
P10) R-Nico Hulkenberg; Williams


F1 Teams: McLarenNo. 1) J. Button: Q) 14th; R) 4th
No. 2) L. Hamilton: Q) 4th; R) 2nd
(Car No; Driver)

Name Q R
Button 3 3
Hamilton 7 7
(Head-to-Head Standings)

Mercedes
No. 3) M. Schumacher: Q) 10th; R) 9th
No. 4) N. Rosberg: Q) 5th; R) 3rd

Name Q R
Schumacher 2 2
Rosberg 8 8

Red BullNo. 5) S. Vettel: Q) Pole; R) 7th
No. 6) M. Webber: Q) 2nd; R) Winner

Name Q R
Vettel 5 5
Webber 5 5

Ferrari
No. 7) F. Massa: Q) 7th; R) 15th
No. 8) F. Alonso: Q) 3rd; R) 14th

Name Q R
Massa 3 4
Alonso 7 6

Lotus
No. 18) J. Trulli: Q) 21st; R) 16th (-1 lap)
No. 19) H. Kovalainen: Q) 19th; R) 17th (-1 lap)

Name Q R
Trulli 5 5
Kovalainen 5 5

HispaniaNo. 20) R-Karun Chandhok: Q) 23rd; R) 19th (-2 laps)
No. 21) Sakon Yamamoto: Q) 24th; R) 20th (-2 laps)

Name Q R
Chandhok 1 1
Yamamoto 0 0
-------------------------------------------
Chandhok 3 7
Senna 6 2

VirginNo. 24) T. Glock: Q) 20th; R) 18th (-1 lap)
No. 25) R-Lucas di Grassi: Q) 22nd; R) Retired; Hydraulics (24th)

Name Q R
Glock 9 5
Di Grassi 1 5

F1: 2010 European GP - Stats


(Sebastian Vettel; Source: f1fanatic.co.uk)

Round 9 of 19
(Valencia, Spain: June 27, 2010)

Yeah, I know this is getting all disjointed, BUTT! Y’all know the drill... As your Humble Scribe has been gallivanting about and hence somewhat slacking upon my most heralded 2010 GP Recap’s; as I’ll use the next Block ‘O time... (Get it? Can you say 2010 Indy Car schedule...) to profusely scribble my notes from Edmonton and the just concluded MOTO GP outing Back ‘Dar in Indy. (And although I did complete the MotoGP story – Sadly I haven’t even begun the monsterous Edmonton story; ACK!)

Meanwhile, here’s some of my previously concluded Scribbling’s of my initial thoughts towards the past European Grand Prix:

Webber’s Red Bull literally sprouts Wings

F1’s Red-Green Show

Top 3 Qualifiers
Pole: Sebastian Vettel; Red Bull
2nd: Mark Webber; Red Bull
3rd: Lewis Hamilton; McLaren

Other Top 10 Qualifiers
P6) Robert Kubica; Renault
P8) R-Nico Hulkenberg; Williams
P9) Rubens Barrichello; Williams
P10) R- Vitaly Petrov; Renault

Top 3 Finishers
Winner: Sebastian Vettel; Red Bull
2nd: Lewis Hamilton; McLaren
3rd: Jenson Button; McLaren

Other Point Scorers
P4) Rubens Barrichello; Williams
P5) Robert Kubica; Renault
P6) Adrian Sutil; Force India
P7) Kamui Kobayashi; Sauber
P9) Sebastien Buemi; Scuderia Toro Rosso

Race Drive of Valencia
Without doubt, this easily goes to Sauber’s Kamui Kobayashi, who put on an amazing Clinique in the races final laps, no less passing the “Works” Scuderia Ferrari of Fred Alonso! And then zapping Sebastien Buemi’s Toro Rosso on the final corner of the final lap...


F1 Teams: McLaren
No. 1) J. Button: Q) 7th; R) 3rd
No. 2) L. Hamilton: Q) 3rd; R) 2nd
(Car No; Driver)

Name Q R
Button 3 3
Hamilton 6 6
(Head-to-Head Standings)

Mercedes
No. 3) M. Schumacher: Q) 15th; R) 15th
No. 4) N. Rosberg: Q) 12th; R) 10th

Name Q R
Schumacher 2 2
Rosberg 7 7

Red Bull
No. 5) S. Vettel: Q) Pole; R) Winner
No. 6) M. Webber: Q) 2nd; R) Retired: Accident (24th)

Name Q R
Vettel 4 5
Webber 5 4

Ferrari
No. 7) F. Massa: Q) 5th; R) 11th
No. 8) F. Alonso: Q) 4th; R) 8th

Name Q R
Massa 3 4
Alonso 6 5

Lotus
No. 18) J. Trulli: Q) 19th; R) 21st (-4 laps)
No. 19) H. Kovalainen: Q) 20th; R) Retired: Accident (23rd)

Name Q R
Trulli 5 4
Kovalainen 4 5

Hispania
No. 20) R-Karun Chandhok: Q) 23rd; R) 18th (-2 laps)
No. 21) R-Bruno Senna: Q) 24th; R) 20th (-2 laps)

Name Q R
Chandhok 3 7
Senna 6 2

Virgin
No. 24) T. Glock: Q) 22nd; R) 19th (-2 laps)
No. 25) R-Lucas di Grassi: Q) 21st; R) 17th (-1 lap)

Name Q R
Glock 8 4
Di Grassi 1 5

Friday, December 10, 2010

RETRO: Stoking the Team Lotus fires...

What is it they say ‘bout harkening back to those Good ‘Ol Dazes... As for reasons unknown, (Whale Sorta...) I’ve become totally enamioured by the REAL Team Lotus IndyCars ‘O Yesteryear... As I’m still kickin’ myselfs for NOT asking Mr. Carpets to snap a pic of that BEAUTIFUL 1963 Rookie Jimmy Clark’s Lotus Type-29 Indy Car on static display when we traipsed thru the IMS’s Hall of Fame museum; SHEISA!

And I’m simply guessing that Dario “REO SPeedwagon” Franchitti’s fortuitous outing at The Speedway, which I scribbled ‘bout in;

RETRO: Keeping Past IndyCar Flames Alive

Was in some way in conjunction with reviving the brand name of Lotus? As in I’d absolutely have LUV-ed to have been there to listen to personally in Four-track harmony that magnificent four cammer Ford Fairlane V-8 resonating thru the Brickyard, which Dario sez he kept whoa’ed DOWN to 6,200RPM’s...

Thus the bug has bit so hard that I just had Santa deliver me a very fine present – as in a coveted Jim Clark 1/18 Diecast! And this has led to my going bonkers over The Flying Scot - even having slipped further, now planning upon purchasing my very first copy of what I typically refer to as road ‘N AD! (Road & Track) For the first time in years; which I’m told will be running a six-part retrospective towards the Indy 500 leading up to the fast coming coveted 100th Anniversary – Part II. (Just being informed there’s a 5-page spread on Clark’s Lotus 38 IndyCar in the January, 2011 R&T issue – on Newstands now?)

And Captain Kirk has just sent me the link to R&T’s recap upon Dario Franchitti’s fantastic outing aboard Clark’s Lotus 38, which is definitely worth a listen, Err watch – as DAMN! If that Lotus-Ford sounds as good on my puny ‘lil Confuzer speakers... Whale Yuhs getz the idea, eh? Check it out here!

Dario's Dream: Special Report - Video

Jolly ‘Ol Silverstone (Con’t)

And now it’s somewhat time to get down to business, Err the meat in the sandwich – so to speak, eh? As Y’all are probably hunkerin’ to hear ‘bout the Bloody Race, eh?


Saturday Notes (6/20/09)Spent a very enjoyable day sightseeing Bloody ‘Ol London primarily upon one of the world famous Fire Engine red Double Decker busses that frequent the Downtown landscape... As a merry band of three Adults and 3-Kindren trekked about London via the Tube, Double Decker bus, passenger Ferryboat, Tube and finally being picked-up by Robert in his awaiting motorcoach...

After an enjoyable Chinese dinner whilst said Kindren were left to their own, I settled down to watch the day’s Formula 1 Qualifying via the BBC, which Robert had been kind enough to record for me...

F1 on BBCThe BBC1’s Formula 1 announce line-up is comprised of Jonathan Legard and Martin Brundle as the lead commentators, with Brundle being joined by ex-ITV “Alum,” Ted Kravitz reprising his role of pit lane commentator alongside Lee McKenzie.
Meanwhile Jake Humphrey moderates the studio coverage with David Coulthard and the always outspoken plucky Irishman “EJ.” (Former F1 boss Eddie Jordan) alongside, while British stalwart Murray Walker returns to action online, for BBC internet coverage.
(Source: F1 Franatic)

And I certainly don’t recall the episode, except for the fact that it was broadcasted with ZERO Commercial breaks; SHEISA! Totally UN-F%%KING Believable! I mean it makes my head hurt every time I watch either a SPEED F1 race or even worse yet... An IndyCar infomercial Versus broadcast, and that’s all I’m gonna say ‘bout that; CRIKEYS!

SPEED: Saturday ‘Qualie notes“Q1 Qualie” session, with 24 seconds left on the clock, Adrian Sutil crashes his Force India, bringing out a Red flag to end the session; with reigning (British) World Champion Louise “JAGUAR” Hamilton stuck in an unbelievable lowly P19! Easily Lewis’s worst qualifying result of the season… Oh how the mighty have fallen! As it was also to be ‘JENSE’s (Button) worst qualifying result of the ’09 campaign, winding up sixth...

Mark Webber fuming over Kimi Raikkonen supposedly blocking him on his final “Qualie” run and messing up his attempt to be further up the grid...

“Kazoo” (Nakajima) has his best qualifying outing of the year by lining up P5 and OUT-Qualifying ‘JENSE in the “lowly” Williams! WTF?

Sunday, 06/21: RACER’S COURTIronically this year’s British GP is not only on Father’s Day, but also on Summer Solstice... And today is the day that I’m off to Bloody Silverstone, as the five of us make it relatively quickly to Silverstone via the Motorway, onto the premises as my Scribblin’ begins with our contingent hanging about the BRDC Clubhouse, coming back from the Loo Robert informs me; You just missed Niki! (Lauda) Oh, I’ll be your Celebrity Spotter guide... Before we head outside to the Veranda where Robert introduces us to one of his ‘Blokes, a chap named Marino, as in the other Franchitti... As I’m standing alongside Marino Franchitti whilst Robert and him discuss his outing at someplace called Circuit de la Sarthe that he’d just contested the week prior; SHEISA! As Marino describes the Aston as a Brick! Hitting an Aerodynamic wall on Le Mans straights...

Marino Franchitti:“C’mon you BLOODY BUGGER! GO-GO-GO!”
Then I casually mentioned that Robert’s a Lions fan, how surreal to be chatting up Marino at Silverstone – TOO BLOODY COOL!

Then I think it was off to The Farm, as there’s private “Lorrie’s” awaiting us, shuttling the BRDC Royalty back ‘N forth in these 10-person Golf Carts as we ride past the masses en-foot; Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?

Having arrived at the Clubhouse “Just-in-Time,” walking upstairs, we stood outside to listen & watch the days Porsche SuperCup support race, as these venerable 911’s still make great sounds... As little did I know I’d soon be meeting one of the day’s competitor’s, as during the lunch break Robert introduced me to Richard (“Richie”) Wiliams who’d qualified P4 but was demoted for allegedly “Creeping” during the start. Then Richie explained how he’d been up to second place behind Jeroen Bleekemolen before “Ironhead,” a.k.a. reigning German Champion Rene Rast, the eventual race winner gave him a LUV-Tap and he wound up finishing down in P12. Richie was a really friendly Bloke and even gave me his racing card complete with his Autograph... As Robert later told me Richie’s a close personal friend of somebody named ‘JENSE; SHEISA, it just keeps getting’ better Eh!

Later on we mused what in the BLOODY HELL is WRONG with Louise “JAGUAR” Hamilton? As he’d had his worst qualifying outing of the year by finishing 19th, which I found quite HEE-Larious! As it was his third straight race in-a-row to not advance outta the Q1 ‘Qualie session... Then during the race Hamilton was seen scrapping over 14th – 15th place with The Krakow Kid, nee Robert Kubica before sliding back and battling over a lowly P17 with ‘Fredrico Suave. (Fred Alonso)


As we sit upon a Grassy Noll (hillside) watching the Formula 1 machinery shrieks by, I simply marvel at how Master ‘Zebb is THE MAN! As Vettel simply demolishes the opposition by walking away at one second a lap over his nearest rival – BITCHIN’ DUDE! As I was completely baffled how he’d simply WALKED IT! Especially with a heavier car, as this was during the alternate fuel loads era; can you say Blitzkrieg?

Thus Vettel wins by a Country mile ahead of teammate Mark Webber whose runner-up. Rubino (Barrichello) beats ‘JENSE and Felipe Massa finishes ahead of the Kimster... (Raikkonen) As you say Tomato, I say Toe-Mott-Oh! As Nico Rosberg holds off a suddenly late charging Button for fifth place... YAY!

Afterwards we look at some of the various Williams F1 chassis on display, with a 1980 Alan Jones car on hand along with a “Regga” (Clay Regazzoni) parked nearby, and a BLOODY NIGE, nee Nigel Mansell chassis also on the lawn...

Yet my personal favourite is the brilliant deep blue FW20-something, actually a dark midnight blue 2008-spec FW30-Toyota V-8 that looks black to me, but is simply FANTASTIC! What a SWEET looking Racecar; aye Karumba...

And we also stayed to watch the “Hystericals,” err Historics, to which Artiste Dave likes to call; Old Men in Old Cars! As there was a very nice brace of Vintage Racing Cars as the Racing’s Nightcap ‘O activities; then back to the Farmhouse for another Photo-Op of the Double-Oh-Seven (007) Aston, while inside Robert sez; hey look over there ‘bout twelve feet Mate. It’s Stirling Moss holding court! Before we step out briefly onto the racing circuit! As I still recall my shoe sticking lightly to the blue & white kerbing that felt tacky, as those amazing F1 LandSharks had just pounded over them during the race... (Never seen blue & white kerbs...) Then we walked thru a Gravel Trap, another first for me in order to extricate ourselves from the circuit... Before a quick stroll over to the Gift Shop ‘N back “Just-in-Time” to leave for a 5-hour NIGHTMARE crawl upon the Motorway back to London... (Sadly Tricia would lose her camera-phone she’d taken all of the pics on just a few days later; SHEISA!)

Yet by far my best memory of this momentous outing was how Messer Button had booked Robert’s Restaurant, the Mews of Mayfair in Central London for a victory celebration, having after all won the first six of seven events, with Vettel having won China, naturally it was a Schue-in for ‘JENSE to win his Home race, right?

As Robert said his Mate reported it was a fairly somber mood for awhile before the party wound-down in the early AM... As I was absolutely delighted to have The New Schue kick ARSE at Silverstone!

SPEED: Sunday notes - F1 Debrief”Hobbo,” (David Hobbs) a member of the BRDC and staunch supporter of Silverstone exclaims how there were 90,000+ fans in attendance as Varsha muses how some races go unsold; as the preceding Turkish Grand Prix had numerous large sections of grandstand seats unfilled… While Silverstone was absolutely packed to the rafters, while Hobbo piled onto the dichotomy of Silverstone vs. Donnington Park by lamenting; Bernie DOESN’T like Silverstone or the BRDC… Yet he’s asking $32 million per year to host the race and you CANNOT get 90,000 fans into Donnington Park, not to mention the lack of infra-structure… I JUST DON’T GET IT!

Mark Webber still STEAMED at the Kimster… Over his incident in”Q3 Qualie” the day prior saying I DON’T know what Kimi was doing? Perhaps drinking some Vodka or dreaming? Kimi and I talked and he thought he was fine and I told him he was talking outta his ARSEHOLE! Thus it was entertaining to hear Hobbs defending Raikkonen and saying he really didn’t see what Webber’s issue was as Kimi had given him room to get by…

Hobbs commented how over 300,000 rabid spectators had showed up over the weekend to effectively see two men… Uhm, excuse me Mr. Hobbs but you’re WRONG as Tomaso was there to see the brilliant Master ‘Zebb (Sebastian Vettel) NOT to mention rooting for another German to hold off Messer Button in the dying stages of the race… While Varsha quipped; I sense you’re trying to send a not so subtle message to somebody… (Err, could that be one Uncle Bernaughty?)

EpilogueAs another year has slipped by whilst your Humble Scribe tries poondin’ aways on ze keyboard to wrap-up this story as I’ve long forgotten watching this race, along with many of the details having slipped away! I mean here it is late September, Err December and I’m trying to knock out my languishing F1 recaps as we’ve just been back to the site of “Crash Gate,” circa 2008, (when I finished compiling this...)obviously now having completed the 2010 Formula One season...

2009 British GP Race Report

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Genii and Group Lotus join forces in Order to Smother Team Lotus and Fernandes...

So the news of Group Lotus, owned by the Malaysian Government controlled Proton Auto Manufacture; yesterday went ahead and formally announce what many pundits have suggested would happen. As Renault F1 will become Lotus in 2011, Err Lotus-Renault GP, as the naming row seems perfectly summed up by Team Lotus 2.0’s Chief Technology Officer,

Mike Gascoyne:
“Lotus, just like buses, you wait for ages and then two come along at once...”

Team Lotus still defiant in name spat

And talk bout trying to RAMROD your position down the Backside of your competitor... Lotus-Renault GP dually unveiled its new for 2011 paint scheme in its TAKEOVER, Err Merger with Renault F1 majority Stakeholder Genii Capitol... Uhm, Ah - guess what Beav’ Hmm? My that looks like a Dead-ringer copy of what Tony Fernandes and Lotus Racing had already announced for its 2011 racecar... Can you say John Player Special? Which is extremely funny do to the most pervasive Smoking Ban that’s been de rigger in Formula One for how many seasons now?

Thus I fear that Mr. Fernandes is getting a sharp stick in the eye... As the powers-to-be in Malaysia seem to be covering their You-know-what’s (ARSES) by fully supporting Dany Bahar. Which means unless some major light is shed, I’ll NOT be granting Lotus-Renault GP a spot upon my F1 Team Links section in 2011 – instead focusing upon Tony fernandes’s Team Lotus, in whatever guise it ultimately shows up as...

Just hope they’re NOT gonna get bum Reggie lumps that excessively go KUHBLAMOE next year!

As I agree wholeheartedly with Joe Saward’s comments ‘bout how STUPID this is! Which you can read more in: Where’s the black cap?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

HE’S BACK!!!

OOPS! JUST FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE CAPS KEY... As apparently that’s what we here in BloggerLand are supposed to do from now on when speeling indy car... According to the fine initial AWKWARD introductory post poonded out by former head scribe ‘Jeffie of My Name is Earle. (IRL) As this is FANTASTIC NEWS!!!

Although I pleaded with him (very unsuccessfully) to come ‘N scribble at No Fenders, apparently my asking price wasn’t high enough... Hey, he never ever said one DAMN time that he liked free Tenderloins smothered in Kuhlooah (Kahlua) sauce... I mean I get the portion ‘bout the sauce – just NOT very sure ‘bout the Tenderloins; Hya! Although I have had some of these vaunted Sandwiches whilst schlepping ‘round the hallowed grounds of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway...

BUTT NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INSTEAD – OOPS! TURN THAT DAMN CAPS KEY OFF; YOU’RE SCREAMING AT MEEZE...

Jeffie, or is that now Mr. Iannucci, who has just landed a brand new gig on Versus.com – HOLY SHIT!!! As he’ll now be rubbing elbows with the esteemed Roy Hobson and the ‘Vurd Butcher I lit up once in: Beauty ‘N the Beast, a ‘Juan mister Jeff Olsen. (Guess you’re surrounded by BLOGGERS NOW Mr. Olsen...) Whilst apparently Jeff rambles on ‘bout rubbing elbows, or her feet – HEY! Pull your minds outta the gutter... I didn’t even poond in ‘LyndieCarz name yet; Hya!

The Awkward Introductory Post

So, I guess Santa really does exist, as One of the World’s Hippest Bloggaratzi, Mr. Jeff Iannucci has returned to the fold... Now just DON’T forget ‘bout us little people in BloggerLand will Yuhs Jeffie...

WELCOME BACK JEFF!

NOTE:
For the record – I suppose I should acknowledge that Jeff said the phone call regarding his services came from: “Identifying himself as “with The VERSUS” offering payment in unlimited tenderloins and Cholula sauce.”

To which Jeff further informed me: it's CHOLULA. C-H-O-L-U-L-A. It's a hot sauce made in Mexico. It's all over the place - even at IMS...

To which I must confess is ‘Juan of the DANGERS of using a Pseudo Screen-reader for your daily perusal of all things ‘lectric, i.e.; internets, email, etc. As although “Lucy” my STEAMED Screen Reader read Jeffie’s newest post correctly – I just made the ASS-Sumption that he was implying Kahlua Liqueur instead... As I guess Y’all can tell what I was thinking ‘bout, eh?

Jolly ‘Ol Silverstone

Otay, once again your Humble Scribe is woefully late upon publishing this... As it along with the past several rounds of this year’s Formula One World Championship has been floating ‘round in another No Fenders WormHole – ACK! And thus, today begins a plethora ‘O Grand Prix recaps in order to hopefully get caught-up to the current F1 race on the 2010 calendar...
Silverstone ‘09With the perceived threat of Uncle Bernaughty’s open declaration of angst against the British Racing Drivers Club (BRDC) and Silverstone, having dropped the bombshell one year ago (2008) during the race weekend that he’d awarded the British round of the F1 calendar to rival Donnington Park for ten years beginning in 2010… And then expanded to a staggering 17yr deal, I like many was left wondering why Emperor Bernardo would do such a STUPID thing to Silverstone. After all, it is the historical home of the British Grand Prix, having hosted the very first race of the modern Formula 1 championship way back in 1950.

Birth of the modern F1 championship
Thus, with the imperative that last year’s event was slated to be its final fling after some 50 odd years, your Humble Scribe had the good fortune of attending the race courtesy of Tricia & Robert Nearn, who I’ve previously chronicled in: Button’s Up, who just so happens to be a member of the British Racing Drivers Club, (BRDC) the circuit’s current owners...

Having arrived in London Wednesday morning (June 17th) just prior to the event; hence, having been in a virtual news blackout for 72hrs, imagine my surprise when on Thursday evening prior to suppertime, Robert divulged the fact that the Formula One Teams Association (FOTA) had announced their intentions to form a rival “breakaway” racing league and had ceased all negotiations with Sir maXXum, nee MAD Max Mosley and the FIA, which in turn had imposed the deadline for all 2010 Formula One team applications to be filed no later then Friday June 12, 2009 just one week prior to the British GP, as the FIA and FOTA had become locked in a fierce battle over control of the sport after Mosley mandated a cost cap for Formula 1 in 2010. (But that’s a whole ‘Nother story eh!)

Weighing up the rivals in F1 row

And thus, in a dual universe, I’ve attempted taking notes from both my pilgrimage to Silverstone and SPEED’s coverage via le Memorex...


D-DAY for F1 Teams! - Friday Notes (6/19/09)Today is the deadline for the FOTA Teams to drop their unconditional demands and cow-tow to Sir maXXum ‘N Co. Of which I’m not privy to, nor know the outcome of it all since Tricia, Robert and I all go to partake in the “Wee Charlie’s” very first Sports Day at his School’s outdoor facility which happens to be next door to the Wetlands Centre. (Sanctuary) As the British Schools hold an All Schools “Field Day” each year... This comprises of each class/level having individual events, Funny events and team relays. The Funny events were comprised of a painting race, three legged race, Swan race, role the egg race, etc. There’s also a Father’s race, Mum’s race and a 30 person’s Mums/Kindren relay of which was run for the various Houses, of which I still don’t quite understand … As apparently there’s three Houses in the school, comprising of Orange, Green and Red.

Whilst sitting in a traffic jam of everybody leaving the event, Tricia asks should we go to lunch instead. Thus we eat lunch at the Wetlands Center’s cafeteria, where Charlie enjoys playing the various kids’ games, before we go for a Walkabout thru the grounds, even briefly joining a tour guide, who explains how magnificent the Wetlands Center sanctuary really is, as we’re only 4.5 miles away from the City Centre of London. As originally 125 acres were to be left undeveloped, being donated by the late Sir Peter scot, a devoted Naturalist who passed away in 1989...

In order to fund the project, the Thames Water District sold off 20 acres of the parcel to developers for a reported L11 millions pounds, while another L5 million pounds has been accrued thru donations, with the Wetlands Centre having opened sometime in the year 2000 and its estimated that 350,000 tourists flock yearly to the centre...

Wetlands Centre intro
Our guide told us as we stood in the visitor’s centre looking down the vast central expanse of Wetlands that pipes draw 1% of the Thames River’s water and are circulated thru the marshes and ponds. A large, deep trough has been dug in the centre of the marsh to enable the catching of fish when the water level is lowered, before ultimately being returned to the Thames…

That evening Tricia drives us across the Thames River once again on another errand, and as we skirt about London it suddenly dawns on me of how much it reminds me of being somewhat similar to New York with its constant hustle bustle of traffic everywhere; taxis, cars, motorcycles ‘N scooters, people scampering to ‘N fro, etc. As we parked her VW Beetle and walked towards our destination, a British Pub in order for me to try some “Pub” food for supper, as I thought for certain it’d be a most smoky affair, having forgotten that smoking had just been banned inside all establishments (Smoking Ban came into enforcement 2yrs ago, same time as Ireland; All UK?) and as we turned the corner and walked past an outside seating area, Tricia commented that that was the smoking area…

But I DON’T believe this was any usual type of British “Pub” faire, as I ended up going for the two most outlandish items on the menu after she read it to me… (As ALL of the choices sounded very FOREIGN to me) Uhm? I really would like the Potato soup, but just not the Escargot it comes with, especially since I’ve NEVER had Escargot! As I ended up ordering the Potato soup with SNAILS as my appetizer and for my main course...

Whale, for the past two mornings I’d awoken to the sound of Birds, or more specifically Wood Pigeons, which Yep! You guessed it! Just so happened to be on the Pub’s menu, so, in for a pound, in for a penny, eh? GASP! GULP! I’ll have the Pigeon… As I went ahead and ordered the fowl as my main course that evening, along with a pint of the local brew as we sat in the darkened Pub awaiting our food.

Our appetizers arrived and I gritted my teeth, as naturally my very first spoonful of soup would be complete with a bite ‘O SNAIL! URGH! Afterwards we were joined by another couple at our table, as the Pub continued to fill up, whilst we all chit chatted.

Then our (eagerly awaited?) main dishes arrived, mine being the Wood Pigeon with Potatoes and Vegetables, as the bird was served fully splayed open with its wings still attached…

As I tried carving the miniscule meat off the bones and swallowing my hardly cooked, rare fowl, the man sitting next to me commented; I see you haven’t quite made up your mind yet over it… As I sat there futilely sawing away at the blood red fricassee in the darkness, as all I was able to latch onto were the Pigeon’s multitudes of bones… Before Tricia finally took pity upon me, asking do you want me to cut that up for you?

Uhm, GULP! As I sat there taking my time digesting the redish fowl, which reminded me of liver, which is definitely one of my favourites… (NOT!) Veggies, fowl, swig ‘O Beer; North Hook (Hampton?) Bitter, Potatoes, Veggie, Fowl, you get the idea, as I noted that it was a very interesting dinner of which I managed to consume the majority of. Although my stomach did protest on the way home which Tricia heard, along with thru the night…

And in a strange, twisted sort ‘O fate Alfred Hitchcock way, I swore I didn’t hear any of the Wood Pigeons for the very first time Saturday morning!

Several weeks later, Mary Ellen would remark; did you do that just to have another story to write about in your No Fenders Blog?


Friday Practice Notes (SPEED TV)As the Telescreen’s opening shot of coverage pans in on a Sky diver replete with humongous Union Jack unfurled, David Hobbs announces that Bob Varsha is running a tad bit late, having just joined the Breakaway Announcers group… And thus he’ll be along shortly; oh look here he is now… Dropping in on us as we speak! While Steve Matchett can be heard chortling in the background.

Varsha then quips; why does this FIA-FOTA scrum make me think of the scene in Blazing Saddles where he holds the gun to his head and tells somebody to stop me before I shoot!

Varsha then brings in “The House ‘O Windsor” (Peter Windsor) for his two cents worth on the controversy… As Peter immediately defers to Sir Jackie (Stewart) for his take upon the matter, to which JYS replies,

Sir Jackie Stewart:“I DON’T LIKE IT! But you cannot say sign on the dotted line by Five O’clock tomorrow on something that needs to be negotiated away from the racetrack during a GP weekend.”
Meanwhile Varsha noted BRAWN GP’s newest sponsor, a prominent British clothier, noting;
“We may not have very much money but we certainly look sharp!”

To continue reading, see: Jolly ‘Ol Silverstone (Con’t)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

’DAWGS go bowling for Apples ‘N More...


Otay, so I know this is supposed to be a racing Blogsite – As I scribble this, I realize I haven’t watched a University of Washington Huskies Football game since... Whale since I last scribbled ‘bout it in USC falters in DAWG House, way back in 2009, when the student became the teacher; as ironically Steve Sarkisian defeated mentor and former boss Pete Carroll, who’s now known as Mr. Excitement by the No Fenders Sports Staff... Hmm? What’s that ‘bout Carroll, Reggie “Heisman-trophy-for-Sale” Busch & USC?

USC Falters in the DAWG House

But I was drawn to the game – where the HELL is it? ABC, NOPE! NBC, CBS, NOPE! FOX, FSN, ESPN 1-2-47, HIKE! It’s on Versus? Geez – I haven’t watched that channel since that deflating Homestead IndyCar finale...

But I was interested, since the DAWGS were in a must win situation in order to become Bowl eligible for the first time since 2002. Y’all know when Barry Green’s 7-11 sponsored racecar chauffeured by PT (Paul Tracy) WON the Indy 500... OOPS! ‘Dat’s right, Err some CLOWN named HULIO was busy winning the General’s (GM) very last Indy 500... Upon further Review, the ruling on the Racetrack stands – Citizen Tony sez H. Castroneves won the race By-gummit! Now hand over that $100k appeal and those videotapes Barry...

Refreshingly, “U-Dub’s” Quarter Back Jake Locker, forgoing leaving College early to turn Pro stuck around in order to play his Senior year and hopefully lead the Huskies to Post-tournament play... And not only that, but he’s been playin’ injured the whole year; broken finger, bum ankles, knee, spleen, shins... Err, BROKEN ribs – take that Vince Young – YOUCH!

As Locker & Co. dug themselves a deep trench by falling to a dismal 3-6 record before doing the improvable... Hey, we’re talkin’ the same PAC 10 team that went 0-12 and basically brought the Dawghouse to the ground...

As Locker first led the DAWGS over ex-Huskies Rick “What Basketball Poole” Neuheisel’s UCLA Bruins, (as Mr. Neuheisel was fired for playing in an illegal Basketball pool whilst at UW way back when...)

Then, the following week, a final play touchdown over the California Bears before just defeating those DASTARDLY KITTY-CATS over in the Palouse, winning three straight weeks in-a-row! As the DAWGS vs. Kitty Cats (Huskies vs. Cougars) is our state’s version of Oregon’s “Civil War.”

As I was also unaware that the WSU (Washington State University) Cougars vs. UW (University of Washington) Huskies Apple Cup showdown this December was the 103rd Annual Edition (match) between these two Grid-iron competitors... Let’s see; you mean they’ve been playing the Apple Cup since November 30, 1901; Aye Karumba!As in eight years BEFORE someplace called The Brickyard (Indianapolis Motor Speedway) opened its gates... Unbelievable! So hopefully the Huskies will indeed be nominated for the Holiday Bowl in San Diego...

Good Luck & GO DAWGS!

Washington Huskies Use Late-Game Heroics To Drop Cougars, 35-28