Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Formula 1 Scraping Bottom or Just Staying in the News?

Hmm? Now that Formula One's on Holiday, isn't I-T ironic that Uncle Bernaughty is once again stiring duh pot, with supposedly enticing Bosom Buddy Flavour Flav', or as Grizzled Journo' Joe Saward so rightly christened him; "HMS Monogram!" back into thee Fold.

So who am I talking about? Well, none other than the disgraced ex-Boss of Renault F1's Flavio Briatore, who I also do NOT have time for, as good 'Ol Flav' stepped into I-T with both feet for Mwah with his slanderous tone towards then F1 driver Nelson Piquet, Jr. which I scribbled 'bout in;

Now comes word that Messer E wishes to have Briatore help sort  out Formula 1 from the Doldrums it's in, really?

As the following is definitely a step in the right direction, i.e.; scrapping the STUPID idea of having Standing Grid Restarts after a Safety Car period to spice UP duh show.

As I'd been meaning to mention how "SAFE"  was that 1st-lap collision between Felipe Massa and Kevin ("Bacon") Magnussen at 'Der Hockenheimring this year?

Yet instead of adding titanium skid blocks for "Safety," yeah that's the ticket! Err, wouldn't faux showers 'O sparks be mesmerizing? Uhm, may be some sporadic sprinklers 'N soakers trackside? "Joker" Cut-out lanes and mysterious puddles 'O "Slippery Liquids" popping up on track randomly?

Hmm? Instead, why won't anybody talk about removing the FUCKING "Pay Walls" that Bernie's instituted to line his pockets! Or Gasp! Reducing the INSANE ticket prices for a 3-day reserved seat; Oh Never Mind!

As talking 'bout 'Ol Bernie Ecclestone, isn't it nice that he can afford to offer the German Prosecutor's office a cheque for $25m to make his bribery case go away... Not which the least, is being paid by the very same F1 Aficionados he's Fleecing with his Pay-per-View television contracts... As when isn't a Bribe a Bribe?

And lastly, apparently not wishing to be forgotten, 'Sir maXXam, nee MAD Max Mosley has just gone  'N sued Google over apparently not having deleted A-L-L of his disturbing Sex scandal images... Although I do enjoy seeing somebody sue Google!

Ah, how will  we ever survive while Formula 1's on Holiday; Hya!

Rossi leaves Caterham...

Suppose this shouldn't have been too surprising with the Leafield based squad in a cost savings mode, albeit it seems like a dumb move upon Caterham's behalf, as the PR the team would have received from running its American reserve driver at Circuit Of The Americas at Austin this coming Halloween weekend would have been a morale boost for the faltering back marker team at the least.

Yet instead, 22yr old Californian Alexander Rossi, who's been part of the Caterham F1 concern since its inception as Lotus Racing 'Wayback in 2010 has departed the team prior to the just concluded German Grand Prix, along with also giving up his GP2 ride. As one can only hope he'll catch on with Gene Haas's ambitious Haas Formula project in 2016, this time perhaps as a fully fledged Formula 1 racing driver, instead of simply being a "Simulator Jockey;" Err Test/reserve driver.

Rossi is probably the most celebrated 'Yank in the F1 Paddock at the moment, having  won in GP2 along with appearing to be quite media accessible, as I think it'd be a coup for Haas to land a second team supply of Honda engines along with "K-Squared" (Kamui Kobayashi) as Rossi's team-mate, but I'm just speculatin' here...

Meanwhile, as Caterham continues making workers redundant, along with having let Rossi walk, now comes word of another "Junior" driver being added to the fold...

Caterham's Driver program expands

of course, after I'd originally penned' this, came word that Rossi had joined Marussia as its official Reserve Driver with immediate effect, as he'd be patrolling their Pit garage come the Hungary F1 weekend...

Monday, July 28, 2014

F1: Paddock Notes – July 28th Edition

Sealed with a kiss: Nico Rosberg married his partner Vivian Sibold at a ceremony in Monaco just days prior to Germany winning the 2014 World Cup. (Image source:
'Whale, had one HELLUVA time gettin' Duh 'Ol 'Confuzer to cooperate after its return, albeit purely a software interfacing problema between Zoomtext 10.0, which has turned into a Piece 'O SHIT! With 'Lucy, my ARSE-steamed screen reader continuously locking up and NOT being able to read the Firefox/mOOhzillah webpage, plus freezing up when simply trying to do a "Save As" in microSOFT's Pain in thy ARSE MS Office 'O7 word; Blah-blah-blah; as I digress, again...

Thus, whilst originally I thought I'd be away on Holiday playin' in Duh Sand Dunes, along with continuously playing 'Ketsup on 'Der Bloggenspot; Ja-Ja! Here's a few F1 tidbits which tickled my fancy over the past few weeks whilst continuously scouring De Vurld 'O Motorsporten, Ja Volt!

First heard about this via Adam Cooper's F1 blog, noting how Pirelli planned to run some experimental 18" rubber's at the in-season Silverstone test.

As the chassis in question was the Lotus E22, surprisingly for Mwah, with ex-Marussia-Caterham F1 driver Charles Pic at the wheel, being unawares that the Frenchman had been signed as a Lotus Reserve Driver this year.

With Grizzled Journo' Joe Saward giving a good insight into the thoughts upon running 18-inchers in the future along with a pic' (Pun intended) of the prototype Pirelli tyre.

Meanwhile, apparently Monsieur Pic wasn't overly impressed with the Larger-is-Better tyre concept after running 14-laps on the experimental rubber...

Not surprisingly, with McLaren's impending switch to Honda power next year, longtime German clothier sponsor Hugo Boss is leaving the Woking outfit  for Mercedes GP next season...

While I certainly  agree with Niki Lauda's comments for Seb' Vettel to QUIT crying like a schoolboy, Seb's boss Christian Horner has also chimed in upon the matter; Blah-blah-blah...

'This will be my Hockenheim World Cup special edition helmet with the FIFA trophy. How do you like it???' Asked Nico Rosberg upon his Twitter account prior to this year's German GP. (Image source:
Otay, so FRIC which is an acronym for Front Rear Inter Connected suspension was A-L-L the rage leading up to the German Grand Prix, after the FIA's Charlie Whiting issued his directive upon quitting the practice in 2015 upon universal team adoption or else! Which is about as likely in F1 as Pig's Flying! While Mr. Saward gives us a layman's view in;

Yet apparently Mercedes GP has planned to circumnavigate the matter by supposedly disconnecting its apparently controversial FRIC system, which implies to Mwah that there wouldn't be any universal Paddock agreement,  to which made it  unclear whether or not this would claw back some of the Mercedes W05-Hybrid's advantages over its competition this season...

Since I couldn't SEE I-T! I don't have an opinion to form upon thy 'Wee Willie Buxom's (Will Buxton) latest blog post titled Benching Kimi, which surely won't happen at 'Der Hockenheimring since the allure of the Finn plus la Scuderia is simply too overpowering, right?

Nevertheless Buxton makes a valid point  in his post, since it does make one wonder over the fairness of penalties  being handed out by the FIA Stewards, as thee 'Kimster's tyre (carcass) nearly hit an unexpecting Max  Chilton in the head, which the result wouldn't have been any different than Romain Grosjean's Belgian GP incident in 2012, for which he was given a one race ban plus $50,000 fine...

Meanwhile Messer Saward has written 'bout Marussia's Max Chilton's near miss from the same incident involving Kimi in;

While apparently thy 'Wee Willie Buxom' set off a Firestorm with his rant upon thee 'Iceman being banned from the German GP, which Y'all knew wouldn't happen, as its a fair argument. Does the Scuderia and its drivers deserve preferential treatment?

Reasoning, Responsibilityand Run-off

So while thee young "Louise 'JAGUAR" Hamilton continues taking swipes at his team-mate 'Brittany, nee Nico Rosberg, who is German after all; Ja Volt!

Rosberg has been on a bit of a Dream Week lately. Having first married his girlfriend Vivian Sibold, then 48-hours later watching his home country win this year's world cup One-Nil' (1-0) over Argentina, before the 29yr old driver had his long anticipated contract extension; reportedly a 3yr deal for Euro $55m, announced just day's prior to contesting his second home Grand Prix at 'Der Hockenheimring.

After getting married, watching Germanylift the World Cup and then signing a new deal, winning my home race reallywould be the icing on the cake

Meanwhile, in a fitting tribute to his home country's win, Nico Rosberg has revealed his new world cup inspired theme helmet he'll wear during this year's German GP. After all, with his new contract signed, he can afford it!

OOPSADAISY! As FIFA's being STUPID by having a hissy-fit over Nico using a picture of its trophy; SHEISA! As I just DON'T understand why FIFA wouldn't want the FREE publicity?

Nico Rosberg forced to re-design WorldCup helmet for German Grand Prix after FIFA kick up fuss over copyright