Sunday, August 31, 2008



Justin “Big Unit” Wilson BEATS Helio “CRY BABY” Castroneves... As one of the leagues two BIGGEST WHINERS! Correctly gets called for BLOCKING... And Scotty “Got Milk”” Dixon’s post race comments were priceless... Saying to the media-monger’s;” I DON’T know what they’re MOANING about!” So, Helio, consider that you finally got called for blocking after getting away with it the entire season...


Friday, August 29, 2008

Phil Hill

Ah, the life of a humble scribe... As I was going’ bleary eyed from having spent the whole day (yesterday) nucel bangin’ ze ‘Ol keyboard... And thus I’ve not check any of the traditional newswire services the past few dazes... As around 8:35PM I made a quick search about my favourite blog sites (Full Throttle, My Name is IRL and Pressdog) and was blown away to see that Marc’s lead story at Full Throttle was about American F1 World Champion Phil Hill’s death...

Thus, I’ll have to scribble a more elaborate story about the Great Messer Hill in the near future, but in the meantime, please check out; Racing Legend Phil Hill Passes

Versus Dream Team?

Last week on the Autosport Radio show, Mr. Donald Kay had a great ‘lil broadcast with Flinstone Indy Lites driver James Davidson, Broadcaster Extraordinaire Bob Jenkins and Conquest Motorsports Team Owner Eric Bachelart...

Mr. Kay started off the show by saying how the audience had gone wild when he suggested the broadcast booth line-up for next year’s Versus television channel’s coverage of the Indy Car World Series.

Host: Bob Jenkins
Colour Commentator: Davey Hamilton
“Antagonist” Eddie Cheever

Which does pose an interesting question? As I’m guessing the likes of former voice of the 500; Host Paul Page and his colour commentator sidekick Mike Dunn, along with pit reporters Dave Rieff and Gary Gerould are contracted to ESPN2’s NHRA Drag Racing, while I’d assume that Marty Reid, Scott Goodyear and all of the bubbly pit lane personalities will stick with ABC for their 5 race deal, since there’s always some N-Car Lite race to cover after the month ‘O May, eh?

Just as long as they DON’T bring back Mr. Insert Sponsor Here Rick Benjamin... And I’m guessing Derek Daly is too provocative? But I’d take Jon Beekhuis over Mr. Cheever any day...

So, who would you like to see in the Versus broadcast booth?

If you’re really wound-up over this issue, you can try emailing Versus via their website: Versus TV and hunting for their contact info...

Hot Air?

Upon hearing the news that the Indy Car World Series has announced the plans to return to forced induction (turbocharger’s) for the 2011 season, I scoured the newswires to see exactly what the pundits were saying; as apparently the switch from the 3.5 liter normally aspirated Honda V-8’s is between the choice of four or six cylinders... Which I cannot say I’m overly crazy about, but I guess I should have seen this coming, since Formula 1 lopped off two cylinders two years ago in attempts to reduce horsepower... But, the IRL is actually seeking to add an extra 100bhp to today’s reputed 650bhp output... Hmm? Can you say “Power to Pass?” A la Champ Car...

And although a second manufacturer’s round table will be double top secret and held behind closed doors, Brian “Braveheart” hopes to have 3-4 interested parties on hand including Honda, which if memory serves me correctly, had some fairly stout Formula 1 six cylinder winning turbo lumps a few decades ago...

And I’d suppose it shouldn’t be to difficult to extract the amount of horsepower outta a V-6 power plant, since I’ve just learned that those beautiful 1979-81 BMW M1 Procar’s 3.5 liter twin cam straight six’s unleashed 470bhp without forced induction, before developing a beastly 3.2 liter 850bhp fire breathing twin turbocharged unit...

And doesn’t Ford have a new line of V-6 “Eco-tec” blown thumpers coming’ down the pipeline? Or perhaps these could be passed off as Mazda’s with a little badge engineering, eh?

Yet, Inquiring minds wanna know if Formula 1 Engine Manufacturers will join the fold?

Portland in 2010?
Yet, even better and MORE important to me then the announcement of the return to turbo’s, was this tiny little blurb I found in Kurt Cabin’s IndyStar article last Saturday;

“Angstadt led a group of IRL officials on a visit to Portland International Raceway this week. If a deal can be reached, the circuit would be added to the 2010 schedule, he said. . . .”
While I’ll continue holding my breath; Its encouraging to think that perhaps my biased bashing over Portland being left out of the mix and the copy of my story regarding this that I mailed to the IMS may have been worth the effort after all?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sonoma roars to life

Well NOT exactly after another FREAKIN’ (Insert F-Bomb’s here...) FOWL UP by ESPN! And I didn’t have any fan-dancy vino on hand to celebrate the occasion, no Zinfandel’s, Merlott’s or Cabbernett’s... NOPE! I’m NOT wasting my sole bottle of Mosel Riesling on a FRILLIN’ Indy Car race! Although perhaps I was driven to indulge upon a few Northwest micro-brews while awaiting the start of that mesmerizing car race; and Why, Oh why? Does it ALWAYS take so much effort to tune into the IMS Radio Network via the internets? As once again I was determined to listen to Saturday’s live qualifying show, which required three separate attempts before powering down le confUZer and rebootin’ in order to pick-up Mike King, Davey Hamilton and the rest of the gang...

And although I knew he was back... As in Tomas “Rock ‘em Sock ‘em” Scheckter and Luczo-Dragon Racing, whom reportedly will now race in the final three rounds of the championship, I wasn’t expecting to hear that Mario “BOOM BOOM” Dominguez and Pacific Coast Motorsports were returning... As in does anybody remember them? Those were the cat’s that got busted for skateboarding in Gasoline Alley this past May!

Thus, I found it a bit surprising that “Souper Dooper?” Mario Dominguez managed to bump his way into the top six during round 1, knocking out such notables as Graham Rahal and Tomas Scheckter, while Dale Coyne’s young gun Mario “M ‘N M” Moraes bumped out his elder statesman “Junky” (Junqueira) in order to grab the final transfer position.

Group 1; Top 61. Servia (1:17.1462) 2. Tony Kanaan; 3. Marco Andretti; 4. Ryan Hunter-Reay; 5. Mario Dominguez; 6. Mario Moraes

Then as the minutes ticked down on group two, I suddenly found myself screaming at my confuzer... NO! NOOOOOOO............ F%%K! How can you Boyzs get beat by Princess Danicker? As Mrs. Balderdash beat out such notables as Danny Boy “SPIKE” Wheldon, who wound up only eighth fastest, as Dave “The King” Wilson would read off an entertaining trivial fact later on, that of the three drivers averaging 15th place finishes on road courses, two aren’t unexpected; Edwardo “F-BOMB” Carpentier and teammate AJ “QUATTRO” Foyt IV, but would you believe that the third is none other than Wheldon... Also of no consequence, but entertaining nonetheless, KV Racing Technology drivers grabbed the top spots in both sessions of round 1.

Group 2; Top 61. Will Power 1:16.9543) 2. Ryan Briscoe; 3. Helio Castroneves; 4. Scott Dixon; 5. Danica Patrick; 6. Justin Wilson

Yet, Danicker’s road course prowess was short lived as she was unable to progress any further and ultimately... Yawn! Team Penske drivers Helioe the Dancin’ FOOL and Ryan “Burnin’ Inferno...” Youch! That’s NOT funny, eh? Swept the front row once again, with Will Power third, alongside Tony “Follow your Schnauz” Kanaan fourth, with row three filled out by Scott Dixon and Oriel Servia respectively, in the day’s Flinstone Fast six final qualifying sessions.


And then after a 25+ minute delay, in hopes of the Women golfers managing to find the pin on the 18th green; Have you seen my ball? Indy Car race control gave the command to throw the green flag... In which Castroneves led his very first laps ever at “SNORHOMA,” in what would become a somewhat (questionable) interesting race as teams broke into three separate fuel strategies... With AGR’s Hideki Mutoh coming in on lap 7 to begin the parade. Oh, when will another Champ Car Ref... Err -, Transition driver/team win a race...

As this is becoming fairly sedate, (time for another micro-brew, Ja Volt!) while I need a spread sheet to keep track of exactly who was where? As many teams put their drivers into the game of who’d have enough fuel to go to the end?

But the Team Penske cars were simply too strong today, as Helio easily cycled his way back to the lead twice and his wingman Briscoe was right behind... With the IMS’s Kevin Olsen making the quip of the week; Or perhaps the season upon Princess Danicker entering her pits for the first time, by saying;

“Here comes the Queen of fuel strategy!”
And Bob Jenkins later mentioned how Scotty “got Milk?” Dixon had been on-fire this season... Hmm? Nice choice of words Bob, did you get that from that Aussie “Burnin’ Inferno, from Down Under? But speakin’ of Dixon, he seemed to just melt into the background this race, finishing a paltry 12th, by his standards. HELL! Even some chap named Wheldon finished ahead of him in P4... And thus once again, Team Penske arose from the ashes of difficulty to score another 1-2 sweep, with TK (Kanaan) a distant and fairly unhappy third. And with Dixon’s uncharacteristic finish, Castroneves nearly chopped his points lead in half; From 78 to 43, with two events remaining, as it was fun to hear how ecstatic Helio was after winning his first race in two years...

So, Ho-hum, eh? As in two twisty tracks this weekend; A street circuit and a road course, with both winners cruising to the victory from the pole position... Yeah-yeah-yeah, I know what all of uze Oval Track mavens are sayin’ But HELL! It’s NOT the racing venue’s fault! I mean just look at the winners... As in Team Penske and Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro... Gotta get that one in before those BAD HABITS “deckles” disappear completely... I mean until there’s more then the “Big Three” in Indy Car (AGR, Penske and TCGR) along with Ferrari and McLaren, look for things to remain status quo...

Monday, August 25, 2008


Otay, it’s probably just me... As I spent way too much time watching car racing this weekend, yet once again those bleepin’ IDIOTS at The Deuce, a.k.a. ESPN2 have totally TORQUED ME OFF!!! As I made the mistake of choosing to watch the Indy Car race on the Telescreen instead of listening to it live via le internets...

Turning on the TV a tad early, oh SHEISA! There’s Woman’s golf on once again... Wonder if they’ll hit their balls into the sand traps? Or perhaps another mega hole, NO! You take the win playoff?

Fortunately the American Le Mans Series race was on SPEED at the same time, so my remote got quite a workout, trying to see if the ladies had managed to find the 18th hole yet? And then the announcer pissed me off by saying;’ “The Indy Car race from Sonoma is coming up next and you can catch the pre-race on ESPN Classic...” But who in the HELL has the FRILLIN’ El Classico station on their overpriced cable TV service? And thus I made a pact right then and there as we were now nearly 15 minutes past the published start time... I’m NOT watching anymore Indy Car races on TV the rest of this season! As interestingly, as I got the confuzer to warm-up in order to log onto the IMS Radio Network, at nearly 22 minutes past the command was just being given to start engines and thus I didn’t miss a beat of the Sears Point event...

And I’ve lived thru the pain of NOT having a cable channel that hosts motorsports action, as in NOT having SPEED for nearly two seasons... Before actually buying a freakin’ satellite system which is a whole nother story for some other time, eh?

Yet, I’m beginning to think that perhaps the Versus TV deal WON’T be such a bad thing after all next year and ESPN can continue slobbering all over RASSCAR and those other Stick ‘N Ball sports...

And oh yeah Jeff, I currently get Versus on my Comca$t cable service...

F1: Shoreline drive - 2008 edition

Well, we’re back at it once again, with the Formula 1 circus returning from its three week hiatus... Of which I think the teams personnel deserved their short lived Holiday.

And I think that the new Valencia street circuit is very cool! Albeit it seems to have an overabundance of corners, as in a total of 25, yet it seems to be the first F1 race course that incorporates a working swing bridge...

But first a few quick thoughts about the previous race in Budapest, as once again, Friday’s practice times and Saturday’s qualifying results didn’t show the final outcome, as Ferrari’s Felipe Massa made a brilliant start from P3, vaulting into the lead and looking set to storm away to his fourth victory of the season. If only his Ferrari lump hadn’t gone “KABLAMOE!” With three laps remaining, eh? But, I digress...

And thus, back to this weekend’s event as I found Friday’s second practice session to be fairly nondescript, if such a thing can be said about these magnificent pieces of Engineering! As it was fun to see the camera’s high shot from above showing the cars screaming across the swing bridge. And with Valencia hoping to be considered a modern Monaco-esce circuit, minus the swimming pool complex(?) I had to wonder if they have scuba divers on station alongside the bridge. As recall in the brilliant movie Grand Prix, leading man James Gardner plunges into the harbour, of which has happened twice at Monte Carlo; First in 1955 with double World Champion Alberto Ascari aboard a Lancia and ten years later with Paul Hawkins at the wheel of his Privateer Lotus. As ironically, although both drivers emerged unhurt after swimming to safety, they’d lose their lives in other racing incidents.

Yet the SPEED TV crew spent a considerable amount of time discussing how drivers get acclimatized to brand new racing circuits and how long this takes? With David Hobbs offering it’s usually just a handful of laps and certainly they’d be up to speed within a half hours running... While Professor Matchett prattled on about how all of the teams receive three dimensional virtual circuit maps from the FOM/FIA, to witch the engineers can simulate an expected lap, yet Bob Varsha noted how Kimi Raikkonen, Lewis Hamilton and David Coulthard said they got nothing out of their team’s simulators since they were only utilizing 2D. But Varsha noted how Nick Wirth, former team principal of the failed Simtek Formula 1 team has been developing a 3D race chassis simulator, which utilizes hydraulic rams, a la aeroplane cockpit simulators and several teams have tested it, including McLaren’s golden boy Hamilton.

And speaking of the young Louise, Peter Winsor noted how ridiculous it was that the young Brit was fined $5,000 Euros for being two minutes late to Thursday’s press conference, especially since it had four drivers and they hadn’t even gotten to “Jaguar” before he arrived! (But I suppose rules a rule a rule, eh?)

Even more surprising was that Scuderia Toro Rosso’s Sebastian Vettel was the fastest runner in the very first ever practice session on the debutant street circuit, besting the Scuderia’s Massa by one tenth of a second, with Hamilton winding up third. Meanwhile, in the days final practice session, The Iceman ruined Homeboy Fredrico Suave’s party... With Raikkonen besting Alonso by two 1/100th’s of a second for the day’s top honours, while Jense surprised everyone by claiming P3 for Honda ahead of Massa, with Hamilton and Heikki Kovalainen next, while Toyota’s Timo Glock was the seventh and final driver with a lap time in the 1:39 bracket.

And adding insult to injury was the fact that Alonso was slapped a $10,000 Euros fine and reprimand for brazenly crossing the yellow line denoting the pit entrance, which was shown in multiple replays when it was announced that car number five was under investigation... Yet, reportedly it was Alonso who talked the FIA into having a minute of silence at the track to honour the stricken passenger’s of the recent airliner crash in Madrid...

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the wayward spectator moseying across the track during practice yesterday... Who was promptly escorted off the grounds by the Polica.

And SPEED’s opening monologue was fairly interesting as Bob Varsha read from the teleprompter, how crucial pole position has been since the inception of knock out qualifying in 2006; as in the debut season the pole sitter won the accompanying race 56% of the time. In 2007 the amount increased to 65%, but in the topsy, turvy season of twenty-oh-eight... The pole sitter has gone onto win only 36% of the time... So, will the stereotypical notion of street circuits being nothing less then a parade once again occur, making P1 very important or will something else happen?

Interestingly, the majority of the Q1 “Heavy Hitters” opted to run on the “Prime” (harder) tire instead of using up their allotment of soft option tires... With the end of “Qualy One seeing the grids most experienced drivers not making the cut, as both Honda’s, and Force India’s plus Red Bull’s elder statesman failed to advance, with Varsha saying; “Welcome to the new world order!” As Barrichello; (261) Coulthard; (240) Fisichella; (206) Button (147) and Sutil (29) have an average of 176 starts between them...

Mark Webber seemed pretty blunt when Peter Winsor asked him why the Scuderia Toro Rosso’s were ahead of the Renault powered squads. “Yeah, we’re getting our ASSES KICKED! But we know where 60-70% of the problems from... They’ve got more power then us! We’re good under braking, but it just seems to be taking a little longer to get out of the corners...” Hum? The customer Ferrari powered Toro Rosso’s are quicker then the “Reggie” powered Red Bulls? What’s that slogan, eh? Somme-then ‘bout having’ wings... Perhaps they need to top off with a few quarts of Deeter Majestic’s high octane energy drink? (Oh yeah, that’s right, Mikey Waltrip already tried that trick, eh?)

And speaking of Maranello derived lumps, the four fastest cars in a straight line were reported to be the two factory Scuderia chassis followed by the Toro Rosso’s, with both Massa and Raikkonen hitting a top velocity of 315kph. (196mph and NOT the 185 Varsha kept calling out during the broadcast... Since I’d expect him to know that the once “magic” 300kph barrier = 186mph) as David Hobbs so rightly pointed out how bleepin’ fast the new street circuit was, with an average lap speed of 123mph!

And even more impressive was Toro Rosso’s Vettel laying down the fastest lap in Q2, while The Hamburgular, a.k.a. Sebastian Bourdais made his way into Q3 final qualifying for the very first time, while local hero Fernando could only muster P12, as the Spaniard had admitted to getting lost on the track, confusing turns 10-12 with 12-17, as Hamilton had noted they’re all blind corners.

It was also noted how Michael Schumacher was on hand in the pits, with Matchett denoting how his sleeves were rolled-up and “I think he’s working boys.” Most likely helping Massa, who it’s claimed he has a strong repor with...

Ah, time for one of the best parts of the show... The House of Winsor’s now traditional grid walk, of which he first interviewed Jarno Truli about the days heat, with Nico Rosberg being too busy listening to Three Doors Down to be bothered... But the most humourous interview was with Nick Heidfeld, who said they get paid to drive in the heat, so it’s not a problem and everybody knows that “Jarno works like an Animal!”

And then it was time to turn up the volume, as the lights went green, with the start being fairly straightforward, as pole winner Massa burst off once again like an arrow, with the rest of the grid in close pursuit, albeit there wasn’t the big collision Hobbs had been blathering on about at the Turn 2-3 complex... Although Raikkonen fell behind, losing a position to his fellow Finn, while once again Massa was steadily pulling away from Hamilton.

But the races biggest moments came in the pits, as first there was the potential collision between race leader Massa and Sutil’s Force India, as the Scuderia are currently the only team using a new pit lane light system vs. the traditional brakes-on lollipop, which has a sensor in the refueling nozzle that automatically tells the driver to go once its uncoupled, supposedly worth 0.3 second over the traditional method, while the two cars almost collided... As Massa would later describe that the concrete wall was coming up fast and he thought he’d back off to be safe, although this drew a Stewards investigation query.

Yet, mayhem would once again break out in the Ferrari pits, when apparently Raikkonen made a mistake, trying to leave before the refueling was done, although Matchett noted how Kimi was pointing at the light system... Before clipping three crew members, ultimately giving the refueler a broken foot. But the damage wasn’t over as suddenly the camera’s show Kimi’s car smoking before going KABLAMOE! And that was the end of another very poor outing for The Iceman, while it was repeatedly remarked how he currently earns a million per week!

But, it was Massa’s turn to shine, as unbeknownst to me it was the Brazilian’s 100th start, of which have all been Ferrari powered... As Felipe won the pole, led wire to wire and also recorded the race’s fastest lap! Not too shabby, eh? As for that inquiry, of which Ferrari was deemed releasing Massa in an unsafe condition, the team was fined $10,000 Euros and no further punishments were issued...

Qualifying Results
Pole: F. Massa; 2. L. Hamilton; 3. R. Kubica; 4. K. Raikkonen;
5. H. Kovalainen; 6. S. Vettel; 7. J. Trulli; 8. N. Heidfeld; 9. n. Rosberg;
10. S. Bourdais

Race Results
Winner: F. Massa; 2.; L. Hamilton; 3. R. Kubica; 4. H. Kovalainen;
5. J. Trulli; 6. S. Vettel; 7. T. Glock; 8. N. Rosberg

2008 F1 Point Standings
(Round 12 of 18)

L. Hamilton 70
F. Massa 64
K. Raikkonen 57
R. Kubica 55
H. Kovalainen 43


Ferrari 121
McLaren 113
BMW Sauber 96
Toyota 41
Renault 33

Friday, August 22, 2008

Last of the Mohegan’s

You know how they say; Better late then NEVER, eh? Thus I found this a bit humourous as I was unaware that proverbial “Tail Gunner Charlie’s” Force India had been running the entire season without the much vaunted seamless shift transmission that all of its brethren were.

And thus, Force India will race its “New for ‘08” seamless shift crashbox at this weekend’s European Grand Prix at Valencia, as the team has so far to date only ran the newest piece of hardware in testing at Jerez and during Friday practice at the Hunga-boring race, with Chief Technical Officer Mike Gascoyne claiming the new box is worth 0.2-0.3 second per lap...

I guess this is what happens when you’re the last true “Privateer” on the grid in F1, eh? As the team claims that it will now focus entirely upon its 2009 challenger development wise... As, uhm? There’s only six races remaining on the calendar and the ’09 regulations will see a dramatic shift in regards to aerodynamics. Not to mention the return to slick tyres and the possible advent of the controversial KERS system.

Well, so much for the massive leap up the time sheets, as Adrian Sutil was 17th in Friday’s second practice, albeit ahead of Nick Heidfeld, Sebastian Bourdais and Rubens Barrichello, while team leader Giancarlo “Fishy-fella: Fisichella wound up P10...

Monterey ‘N Mustangs

Since I started penning stories for No Fenders, my Television viewing seems to have diminished greatly, although I do still watch all of the Formula 1 and Champ Car... Err, some of the Indy Car World Series events, yet I’m not sure if my constant scribbling has detracted from watching TV or is it the OVERABUNDANCE of Tin Tops on the RASSCAR Shoppin’ Network, as the SPEED Rat-pack ‘O intrepid RASSCAR reporters seems to assault my senses whenever there’s NOT a Boflex advertisement on... Whale Goll-lee, all we need now is for ‘Ol DW to say; “Boogity- Boogity- Boogity!”

Yet, SPEED’s airing of the Monterey Historics always seems to sneak up on me, catching me unprepared once again, although I did hear Bob Varsha mentioning it during a previous Grand Prix, as Toyota F1 piloto Timo Glock was scheduled to be on hand this year to pilot one of Dan Gurney’s all conquering Eagle GTP chassis... As these cars would be the last great racing cars in IMSA GTP competition, having decimated the field and trumped the once dominant Nissan, which Geoff Brabham used to conquer the once dominant Porsche 962’s...

But, by-gum-it! Once again I’ve missed SPEED’s initial airing of this year’s 35th Anniversary of the Monterey Historics, which undoubtedly is my favourite Historic car event, having been to Laguna Seca Raceway multiple times before it became Mazda Raceway... And thus if anybody knows when SPEED will be re-airing this program please let me know, eh?

Keeping true to form, last year, I also missed the television coverage of the 34th Annual Monterey Historics, as the 2007 featured marcque was the Indy Roadsters (1950’s) of which I’m not a huge fan of. Although these front engine roadsters with their ubiquitous Offenhauser engines were the forebears to today’s single seaters.

Thus, it appears that the last time I caught any of the Historics action on the Telescreen was two year’s ago when unfortunately I didn’t have a blank tape loaded in the trusty ‘ol VCR, so I missed the beginning of the 33rd Monterey Historics on SPEED, although I did manage to watch the Historic Trans Am race, which was fairly entertaining.

The Historic Trans Am series was celebrating its 40th Anniversary two (ACK! Where does the time go, eh?) Summer’s ago, (2006) with a four race schedule, with the Historics being their Daytona 500, as the huge 25+ car field of “rolling thunder” at Monterey saw Jamey Mazzotta in his “school bus” yellow 1970 ex-Bud Moore/George Folmer #16 BOSS 302 swap the lead several times with Terry Miller’s #7 1967 Camaro “ZED-28.”

And SPEED actually did a nice job of covering the entire race, breaking it into three segments with two commercial breaks, including a few “feature” cars with Alan “I KNOW EVERYTHING” De Cadenay profiling the Edelbrock’s pits, yes as in Edelbrock aftermarket performance parts... With De Cadenay focusing upon Vic Edelbrock’s 1969 “Fo-Mo-Co Factory” BOSS 302 parked alongside daughter Cami’s 1968 Smokey Unick Camaro Zed-28.

Also profiled was an-ex factory “ZED 28.” That was purchased by a school for students to work upon. The school’s insurance didn’t allow for student drivers so they had to use “hired guns.” These drivers included Bob Bondurant ((“BONDO”) was recovering from open-heart surgery during the 2006 Historics) and Dick Gullstrand whom at 80yr’s YOUNG was behind the wheel for the vintage race.

On the final lap John McClintock (Olympia, WA) in his 1969 BOSS 302 (#70) who’d quietly moved into third place, made two excellent passes to vault himself into the lead… Yet power-sliding off the final corner, the three car Monty, Err, drag race saw both Mazzotta and Miller repassing McClintock as the checkered flag flew… With the three car’s finishing in that order

SPEED’S Mike Joy commented on how these chassis were true “body-in-white” production vehicles converted into racing cars with their small block V-8’s regulated to a maximum displacement of 305 cubic inches. “They’re NOT tube frame chassis,” quipped Joy, while noting that Kenny Epsman is the Historic Trans Am “overseer” (President) with Tom McIntyre in charge of the rules committee.

And I’ll admit that I’m a fan of the vintage Trans Am machinery, especially the Ford Mustang BOSS 302’s, as these beastly Pony Cars will always be the TRUE Tin Top Stockers to me as its amazing to watch them carve up road courses in these be mammoths, of which I’ve had the privilege of doing both at Laguna Seca and Sears Point.

And although the Ford Motor Company has a long and cherished racing history, the Dearborn giant has unfortunately curtailed much of its motorsports involvement. Selling off Cosworth and its Jaguar Formula 1 team, as well as pulling its support of Champ Car... Well Ok, that turned out to be a somewhat wise move, yet now the Blue Oval seems to be primarily focused upon RASSCAR.

Thus it was interesting to learn about the Ford Motor Companies latest unleashing of the venerable Mustang, with the debut of the FR500S at the 2007 SEMA show, which seems to be a throwback to ‘dem good ‘Ol dazes... As this Mustang also comes directly off of the production line, before being converted into a race ready “turn key” chassis that you can purchase from any authorized Ford dealer. And these “Stang’s” are especially produced for the newly created Miller cup, a spec racing series for aspiring amateurs, in conjunction with the Miller Motorsports Park in Utah.

This new focus of ‘Stang’s devoted to racing is part of Ford Racing Performances “ladder” approach to “Grass Roots” racing, which begins with the Ford Performance driving school in tuned Mustangs. This leads to the Miller Cup and 325bhp Miller cup Pony Cars… For those who “Feel the need for (More) Speed!” One can step up to the FR500C ‘Stang which has been created for competition in the Grand Am KONI Challenge. With the ultimate ‘Stangs being the Homologated FR500GT & FR500GT3 for European racing,

And with Robin Miller’s article ‘bout the massive interest in other Automobile manufacturers potentially entering into competition with Honda in IndyCars, perhaps Ford will see the light and rejoin the ranks of Open Wheel Racing “Just-in-Time” for the 2011 Indy 500?

Of course, The Big Three will need to first rebound from their teetering insolvency... As they’re all hemorrhaging in massive fiscal loss at the moment due to their unwillingness to give up on$UV’s and Pickem-up trucks, while HELL! Even Toyota is cancelling production of its high profit Tundra’s in Indiana...

But then again, recall that Ford, General Motors and Toyota have all competed in CART/Champ Car and the IRL previously, with GM even going so far as to have Cosworth design and build normally aspirated lumps for their faltering Indy Car program, as Toyota was at the moment the force to beat, prior to Honda ruling the roost, so it seems quite plausible that Ford could indeed once again hire Cosworth to dust off their old Indy V-8 lump and update it for Ethanol use in 2011, unless (HOPEFULLY!) Tony George decides to return to the alluring siren sound of turbos... In which case, there was a pretty successful Ford XD turbo lump built back then...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Penske roasted

Thanks to My Name is IRL, I’ve just learned about the latest Racing Transporter to go up in smoke... As the Penske Racing hauler was burnt to the ground early Wednesday morning in Wyoming enroute to this weekend’s Sears Point road course event, as apparently the truck drivers didn’t have any cellular coverage and by the time somebody noticed the fireball, it was too late! “As the Team Penske drivers could do little more then unhook the semi while tryin’ to get ‘dem marshmallows golden brown... But, like Jeff says; Isn’t it ironic? As in isn’t one ‘O ‘dem Penske South Stock Cars sponsored by some cellular provider?

Yet recall that Wayne Taylor’s Suntrust Racing Grand American Sports Car transporter experienced the exact same thing earlier this season, while the team was helped largely by fellow competitor Chip Ganassi in order to compete in the following event. Hmm? Somehow I DON’T think The Cheepster’s gonna help out his foe, The Captain, eh?

You can read more in Robin Miller’s SPEED TV story; IndyCar Transporter Fire

Petit Le Mans

While everyone’s pointing out that soon to be two time IRL Champion Scott Dixon will co-drive for De Ferran Motorsports in this year’s upcoming Petit Le Mans in October aboard the team’s LMP2 Acura powered prototype... It’s also worth noting that Peugeot has announced that it will contest the race and is sending a pair of its 908 HDi FAPs, which currently dominate the European LMS (Le Mans) series stateside.

The driver line-up will be similar to its European campaign, with BMW Sauber F1 test driver Christian Klien replacing Jacques Villeneuve, alongside co-drivers Marc Gene and Nicolas Minassian.

The second car will feature Pedro Lamy, Stephane Sarrazin and Alexander Wurz, as Peugeot seeks to garner an overall victory against its arch nemesis Audi and the pesky Porsche RS Spyders of Roger Penske, along with the rapidly improving Acura’s...

Spies tests at Indy

At the beginning of July, MOTO GP hopeful Ben Spies, took part in the inaugural “Scooter” testing at Indianapolis in preparations for this year’s upcoming USGP round at the Speedway on September 14th, while the test was not open to any of the currently competing MOTO GP rider’s, Spies, the reigning two time AMA Superbike Champion was allowed to participate, since he’s only contesting the two United States rounds as a wildcard entry.

Spies who will race for Suzuki, took part with other riders as all five manufacturer’s were present at the test; Ducati, Honda, Kawasaki, Suzuki and Yamaha, with Spies making his MOTO GP debut earlier this year, when he was called up to fill in for the injured Loris Capirossi at the British GP at Donnington, qualifying 8th and finishing 14th.

Yet, in the recently concluded Laguna Seca MOTO GP race weekend, Spies qualified 13th, with elder Superbike competitor Jamie Hacking lining up at the rear of the field in 18th, while the top American rider was two time Laguna Seca MOTO GP winner Nicky Hayden, who started on the front row in P3, alongside pole sitter Casey Stoner, with “The Doctor,” a.k.a. Valentino Rossi in the middle of Row 1.

While Stoner and Rossi put on a mammoth Mano E Mano duel ahead of the entire field for the race win, trading the lead back ‘N forth several times... Honda’s Nicky Hayden struggled to retain his 4th place, while Spies (Suzuki) and Hacking (Kawasaki) dueled over 9th place... With Spies finishing 8th with Hacking finishing 11th, while Hayden wound-up 5th and Colin Edwards finished a disappointing 14th.

Meanwhile, at the sharp end of the grid, Rossi won his very first US race after almost throwing it away in The Corkscrew, while Stoner would have to settle for second after having fallen off his Ducati.

Yet Spies, who is currently leading the points in this year’s Superbike championship, hopes to become a full time MOTO GP piloto in 2009, joining the other Americans; 2006 MOTO GP Champion Nicky Hayden, Colin Edwards and John Hopkins, as Spies hopes to emulate Hayden’s success on the Grand Prix Scooters…

For Ben Spies comments about MOTO GP testing at The Speedway, see; Spies on Indy

By sheer accident, while surfin’ le Comca$t cable service, (Sunday) I originally landed upon the 250GP Motorcycle race from the Czech Republic, as I’d thought I’d catch a little MOTO GP action during an off weekend... Yet, I wondered if The Big Boyzs were on? And was quite surprised to tune into the MOTO GP race on CBS, also taking place at the Brno circuit... Of which apparently the riders had qualified in the RAIN!

Interestingly I learned that Nicky Hayden has a broken foot (according to announcer Greg White) and wasn’t competing. Well, actually Nicky injured his heel contesting a Super Moto event during the X-Games and the doctors said he could do further damage by racing this event. Hayden will instead stay home to recoup and plans to come back at the next round in San Marino.

And I also found out why I couldn’t find John Hopkins name on the Laguna Seca results, as he’s just returned to riding after having knee surgery... While Ben Spies has had some surgery of his own, riding in pain in the Mid Ohio Superbike races after having his appendix removed two days after competing at Laguna Seca.

Meanwhile, after current MOTO GP champion Casey Stoner crashed once again, the Aussie now trails The Doctor by 50 points, as Rossi cruised to a 17+ second victory in the Czech event...

Monday, August 18, 2008

Oh what uh feeling

And although inquiring minds may have wanted to know where Dan Wheldon would land next year? The biggest story of the weekend was that once again a Toyota RASSCAR team had been caught CHEATING!

As in Y’all recall the mayhem surroundin’ Mikey “Aw Shucks” Waltrip’s problems of tryin’ to run some sorta gooey jet fuel additive at some ‘lil race called the Daytona 500, of which I scribbled ‘bout in Mikey’s Moonshine. And that was before Waltrip Junior fell asleep at the wheel of his Land Cruiser...

Now comes word, as I’m sure it’s all over le internets... Of how after Toyota’s N-Car Lite brigade was zapped for producing too much horsepower and runnin’ roughshod over the Nationwide Cup, that an additional restrictor plate was added to all Nationwide “Toy-yoter” competitors...

Well, after this Saturday’s Michigan N-Car Lite event, the Joe Gibbs Racing (JGR) third place No. 20 of Tony Stewart and protégé Joey Logano’s No. 18 seventh place racecar’s were found to have planted magnets to the backside of their loud pedals to prevent the post race chassis dynometer test from revealing their Toyota engine’s true horsepower numbers...

OOPS! That sounds like major egg on somme-juan’s face, eh? Look for RASSCAR to justifiably hand down some major Draconian penalties later this week... As Robin Miller said’ “C’mon Dave, CHEATIN’ in RASSCAR?”

Who’d uh Thunk-it, eh?

Oh Danny Boy

Whale there certainly seems to be quite a bit of hubbub over the previous story penned by the maestro of Open Wheel Racing, you know none other then that LUV-able curmudgeon Robin Miller...

As inquiring minds wanna know? Just where in the HELL will Dan “SPIKE” Wheldon land next season, after Miller’s infamous TK Going to Ganassi story lit up the Blogosphere and hence I’m assuming Y’all tuned into Wind Tunnel last night, eh?

As one pundit noted, “Dental Plan Dan,” is going to get his shot in ‘dem Tin Top bombers after all! As it appears that The Cheepster is set to do an in-house driver swap, with two BLOODY BLOKES changin’ rides... Err, me thinks a Scot AIN’T NO BLOODY Englishman, but I digress...

As Y’all will be chompin’ at the bit to know just what’s goin’ on in Cheepsterland, eh? Yep! Danny Boy will take over the previously vacated Ganassi/Sabates No. 42 Dodge, with Dario “Where’s my Pants” Franchitti making a return to Open Wheel Racing aboard TCGR’s No. 10 Polaroid Special... (Whale, Otay, Perhaps NOT, eh?)

But seriously folks, what’s all of this talk ‘bout Wheldon not being successful upon Road Courses and hence he’ll be replaced by none other than Bruno “Whiney Bags” Junqueira? Or that Newman Haas Lanigan would let potential series superstar Graham “Son ‘O Stash” Rahal leave their fold?

Yet, the burning question seems to be where will Wheldon ultimately end up? As Indy aficionado Danny B sez; we know he’s NOT going to Penske or AGR... Could he wind-up in a second Rahal Letterman Racing chassis? As that’d be a nice grouping of Ryan “The Dude” Hunter Reay partnered with Danny Beckum Wheldon... But can Wheldon bring any sponsorship with him? As you know RLR isn’t running a second car this season because of a lack ‘O funding.

Of course there’s always Oriel Servia’s seat at KV Racing Technology or any of the other Champ Car Ref, Err Transition teams... Not to mention the lesser known IRL entities... Like some of ‘dem perennial meat packer’s, Err Mid-pack team named Vision Racing...

Yet, it would seem that being from England and having began racing go karts at the tender age of four... Before coming Across the Pond to contest Formula Ford and Toyota Atlantics, prior to making his IRL debut driving two events alongside Sam Hornish Jr. at Panther Racing in 2002, Wheldom MUST have some Road Racing prowess?

Interestingly, Wheldon entered into a rivalry with fellow Brit Jenson Button prior to coming to America, as he’d like to have continued his way up the ladder towards Formula 1 but didn’t have the financial backing... And if Wheldon’s such a right turning slouch, then why did BMW Sauber offer him a contract in 2006? And reportedly Wheldon said he’d like to look at his F1 options after his contract with Chip Ganassi was up...

So, wait a minute, I’ve got it! As The Cheepster’s done it before, as in recall Montoya was worth the price of two F3000 drivers... Yeah, I can now see it very clearly! The Hamburgular will come over to TCGR with Danny Beckum taking up his seat at Scuderia Toro Rosso... Yeah, that’s the ticket! (Nah, I’d expect Wheldon to re-sign for TCGR next season...)

Saturday, August 16, 2008

ENZO Revived

Just received news that the Ferrari ENZO that Comedian (SIC!) Eddie “I CANNOT DRIVE!” Griffin cratered into a wall during this deliberate hyping of the blockbuster film “Redline 6000” of which I previously wrote about in Redlining an ENZO has been resuscitated... And is now once again upon the Auction block, see; ENZO repaired and up for auction

Friday, August 15, 2008

Miller Time

Hey all uze Robin Miller Fanzs... Guess What? Yup, ‘dats right, The much ballyhooed, respected, curmudgeon of Open Wheel Racing will indeed once again be Dave Despain’s co-host on Wind Tunnel this Sunday evening... So get ready to congregate around your closest Telescreen and watch the soothsayer ‘O Indy Car driver movements @ 9PM ET...

Penske at Indy

Ah, the life of a humble scribe, eh? As once again the critics have come out of the woodwork... Most notably Mr. Indy-breath, a.k.a. Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B, who has been demanding the following correction to my recent post; McLaren at Indy, in which I wrote regarding the year 1973; “At the end of the season Gulf Oil withdrew its sponsorship of the Works team, while Penske quit USAC in favour of NASCAR and in 1974 Penske campaigned a lone Indy entry for Gary Bettenhausen.”

(Recall that 1973 was the year of the original Arab Oil Embargo!)

Thus, upon Danny B informing me that The Captain ran a two car effort in the 1974 Indianapolis 500 for Gary Bettenhausen and Mike Hiss, further research has revealed the following information and I apologize for these mistakes...

Amazingly in 1973, Penske Racing had contested Can Am, with the all conquering Porsche 917/30; NASCAR, with the anemic AMC Matador; Formula 5000, with an AMC-Lola entry and the USAC championship trail, as the defending Indianapolis 500 winner. Even more impressive was the fact that this was accomplished by the same driver, Mark Donohue.

Yet, The Captain had made the decision to have Donohue only contest the three USAC 500 milers that year, while Donohue talked Penske into purchasing a customer AAR Eagle for him to contest Indy aboard, with Gary Bettenhausen becoming the team’s primary full season USAC pilot, while Bobby Allison piloted a third Penske entry for Indy only.

Thus, for 1974, Roger did indeed refocus his team’s efforts that year, scaling back to only three programs; the NASCAR (AMC) Matador program, Penske’s initial foray into Formula 1, with his own in-house design, along with continuing in USAC, purchasing two new McLaren M16C chassis in favour of the Gurney Eagle.

1974 would also be the first year that Donohue wasn’t behind the wheel of one of Roger’s Indy Cars, having been so thoroughly frustrated by the ’73 USAC campaign that he’d announced his retirement from racing an began his role of “Official” Team President, overseeing the daily Management/Engineering duties for Penske Racing, a position that would later be filled by Tim Cindric.

Thus, Gary Bettenhausen would be designated the primary driver with a second Indy 500 entry slated for Peter Revson, which sadly would never occur as Revson was killed in F1 pre-season testing in South Africa.

Bettenhausen’s entry was sponsored by Score, a motor oil product developed by Sunoco which would later be renamed CAM2, as Sunoco was hesitant to run its Oil Company sponsorship in the wake of the current energy crisis, even though Methanol wasn’t an oil derived product.

Penske selected Mike Hiss, a Californian native to replace Revson, as Hiss had previously been the 1972 Indy 500 Rookie of the year and substituted for Bettenhausen in ’73. Hiss was the first driver to pilot the “Norton Spirit,” as Norton Industries would become a major sponsor of Penske Racing, culminating with Bobby Unser’s controversial 1981 Indy 500 victory.

Hiss was quick to show up his elder teammate, by qualifying third at Indy, while Bettenhausen could only muster an 11th place grid slot. Yet, Bettenhausen’s Offenhauser engine would expire on lap 2 while Hiss would suffer two painstakingly long pit stops to diagnose and rectify electrical problems before ultimately finishing 14th, albeit 42 laps behind.

Hiss would fill in for the oft-injured Bettenhausen, who had injured himself once again in a Dirt Track race and after a pair of mediocre showings; Penske pulled the plug on his USAC program prior to the season’s final two events. Yet, interestingly Hiss would be pressed into service for Penske in 1978, when he would qualify Mario Andretti’s Penske/Cosworth at Indy, as Mario was busy contesting Formula 1, enroute to becoming that year’s World Champion...

Hopefully these corrections will meet with Indy 500 Aficionado/Fact Checker Danny B’s approval... Please check out the updated version of; McLaren at Indy

And for a fully detailed look into the annuals of the Penske Racing operation, you may wish to check out the excellent ‘lil book I’ve just began reading; Penske Racing Team, 40 years of Excellence

Senna to F1?

Currently (And thankfully, as I’m still woefully behind on my F1 coverage, Ja Volt!) the Formula 1 circus is on a much deserved three week summer Holiday break, set to resume action at the brand new Valencia Street Circuit...

Yet, whilst in the middle of this break, , there appears to be some fodder sprouting about over the possibility of Bruno Senna, nephew of the late triple World Champion Ayrton... Who’s currently lying second in this year’s GP2 Championship, a mere nine points behind series “Greybeard” Georgio Pantano... Of potentially being hired as Sebastian Vettel’s replacement at Scuderia Toro Rosso next year, when the German graduates to Red Bull Racing as David Coulthard’s replacement.

Of course this speculation is stirred in large part due to the fact that STR Co-owner Gerhard Berger has been mentoring the young Brazilian’s career as a family favour for his late friend Ayrton.

Yet, at least Berger has publicly said the right thing, by commenting while he thinks Bruno is ready for Formula 1, so to are Romain Grosjean (Renault F1 test driver) and Sebastien Buemi, (Red Bull test driver) whose also currently under Red Bull sponsorship. (Yet Berger may wish to rethink the Grosjean statement after his horrible outing during the “Hunga-boring” weekend...)

But perhaps Bruno will win out, especially since Emperor Bernardo would be ecstatic to see the Senna name once again gracing his ‘lil racing troupe...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Ticket Schumozzle


On my past trip to Der Fatherland, I learned a very important lesson, which I suppose many of you already know about... That obviously you get what you pay for, as I attempted playing Grand Prix travel guide for myself in lieu of going with Grand Prix Tours, who are an excellent company, just a bit on the high side in terms of pricing.

Thus having decided to attend this year’s German Grand Prix at the Hockenheimring, obviously I needed to secure all of the nefarious items, i.e.; air fare, lodging and Grand Prix tickets. Thus I attempted to purchase my race tickets via le internets thru grandprix-tickets... Of which a funny thing happened, I suppose in the OVER-HYPED world ‘O FEAR! As my credit card purchase was denied and startlingly the telephone rang just moments after trying to make the purchase... As my esteemed credit card’s security division (Ja Volt! Wezs hazs wazes...) was calling me to say that somebody was trying to purchase GP Tickets from an overseas vendor; Uh-DUH!

You know how ‘dem wood-be Terrorists may be tryin’ to go on Holiday in-between bombing jobs, eh?

Thus I was assured that my purchase would go thru upon my second attempt of booking the race tickets from said internets vendor... But, here’s where things get strange and the two OFFENDING parties are still playing the “Good Cop vs. Bad Cop” routine, of which I’ve NOT experienced since dealing with my former employer and its representative in$urance company...

As my ticket purchase was now confirmed via F1-GPT instead of grandprix-tickets, to which I paid no special interest to.

Having confirmed my racing tickets purchase in early February, four+ months prior to the event, July seemed like a very long time away, eh? Yet, in mid-June I decided to enquire about when exactly I’d be receiving my Grand Prix tickets? Of which Robert of the Sales department of F1-GPT replied that the tickets would be mailed to my home address 2-3 weeks prior to the race event, of which sent mild alarms of concern in me as we’d be departing two weeks prior to the race in order to acclimatize ourselves to the German time zone, which is +9hrs for us.

Thus I sent a reply email to Robert informing him of the exact date we’d be leaving for Germany and my concerns regarding ticket delivery, needing the tickets to arrive at my domicile by NO later then +16 days prior to the Hockenheim race... To which Robert replied; “When do you leave?”

So I shot back Robert another email, this time with my departure date in BOLD CAPITALIZED letters and Robert simply replied; “Send me the Colone address.” And then promised that they’d arrive in Colone Germany on the day PRIOR to our arrival in Germany... Yeah, you’re probably getting way ahead of me, but guess what? HA-HA! NO GP tickets when we finally arrived in Colone that Wednesday evening, (July 9th) of which then began a chain reaction of several email inquiries to Robert regarding where in the HELL are our FRILLIN’ Grand Prix Tickets... (YOU BASTARDOES!) As of course each day passed in Germany with NO racing tickets delivery.

And adding insult to injury, it appears that we received a tracking number which showed that the tickets had stopped in Colone before continuing onto Seattle, WA! As it was now just nine, or was that mien dazes ‘til the Hockenheim race and still NO race tickets and therefore we’d yet to purchase our train tickets... Thus we were forced to go into semi-panic mode as I volunteered Mi Madre to drive out to my Apartment complex after having called them to explain the situation and give her permission to retrieve my mail... Of which gratefully she did and then preceded to priority mail them to us...

Meanwhile, somewhat confident that the tickets would arrive, Claire & I decided to head off to Paris for two nights while awaiting the FedEx delivery... But, Oh NO! Although the FedEx goons were more then happy to leave my very expensive (multiple hundred dollars) piece of specialized Zoomtext software outside the door of my apartment, they weren’t allowed to leave it in our hosts mailbox in Colone. And thus Vladi had to telephone them, saying he’d leave written permission to leave the item in said mailbox the following day...

And thus our Grand Prix tickets were FINALLY delivered on Thursday, *July 17th; Just-in-Time) one day prior to our departure for the Hockenheimring!

Since my return, I’ve emailed both Grand Prix-Tickets and F1-GPT MULTIPLE times... And you guessed it! “Its NOT OUR COMPANIES FAULT...” Why, NO, it’s the other parties fault and they’re NOT responsible for my ticket schumozzle... Of which all I’m seeking is re-imbursement of the $50.00 FedEx overnight mailing fee I incurred... As Robert of F1-GPT assured me that the tickets would be mailed to Colone two weeks prior to the race and then FAILED to deliver upon his promise. Hence, since neither of these BASTARDOES will fess-up, as F1-GPT will NOT even reply to my email inquiries and grandprix-tickets have become increasingly RUDER with each email reply...

Therefore, obviously I will NEVER do business with them again! And strongly suggest that you watch your back if you so desire to do business with these companies...

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The grass is always bluer

So did Y’all catch Robin Miller on Wind Tunnel’s last call Sunday night? Miller’s time was preceded by a pretty lengthy interview with Tony “Follow your Schnauz” Kanaan, who claims that Miller should be known as Agent Robin Miller and get 10% of every deal he’s involved in...

Yet, you have to enjoy Miller’s antics as he tried makin’ a collect call replete with old fashion rotary dial telephone while being live on satellite... Along with his jabs ‘bout hoping’ “Those Three” didn’t get their Christmas bonus, to which Dave Despain said; “Which Three?” To which Robin clarified as Savery, Green and Mikey... And how he hoped that because of his story TK would be getting’ $4 million a year instead of the rumoured $3m.

In regards to the reported sell-out announced for the Blue Grass states Indy Car race, Miller proclaimed’ “That’s what’s known as a Kentucky sell-out!” As in Bruton Smith and Edwardo “Hyper mouth” Gossage were reportedly in the building, are rumoured to be purchasing the joint and perhaps they were trying to pump up the media... As in the fourth turn seats were empty...

Kentucky Fried
And speakin’ of Kentucky; “There’s NO place like home, there’s NO place like home, and there’s NO place like home...” OOPS! Wrong state, uh Toto! But as I mentioned before I only wished to listen to the race via the IMS Radio Network, as I prefer Mike King, Davey Hamilton, Mark James, Bob Jenkins, The Kevin Twins, etc OVER Marty Reid & Co. as I feel they give a much more descriptive narrative of whets going on...

And dare I say it? I think it was a pretty tedious race, as Scotty “Got Milk?” Dixon seemingly “TOYED” with the entire field the whole evening, enroute to his series tying sixth victory, which was previously held by current, ahem? Teammate Danny Boy Wheldon...

Highlight of the race “For Sure,” was Sarah Fisher and The Princess goin’ Mano E Mano, Err Female vs. Female when Fisher gave Danica a taste of her own medicine with a TK-Helioe LUV tap on lap 81, as reportedly there was an audible gasp as a (Are we sure it wasn’t Smoke coming’ from Danicker’s helmet?) smoke cloud arose from the two ladies rubbin’ tyres...

And lets NOT forget about Danny b’s favourite Indy Car Femme Milka-licious, a.k.a. Milka Duno, who first made waves by slowing down the race leaders entering the pits before going up in a cloud ‘O smoke with a big time wall smack on lap 134. But, hey! Marty “GERRITOL” Roth also managed to impede the progress of eventual race victor Scott Dixon also during a pit stop...

And shockingly, the “Flinstone Tyre-rific” winner of the Edmonton race was none other than Paul “Chrome Horn” Tracy, supposedly by a wide margin, so I guess ‘dem free Subway sandwiches really paid off, eh?

And speakin’ of crass commercialization... I found it a bit tawdry to hear Franks Energy Drinks, complete with sultry Franks Energy-girl asking; “Do you wanna try two of my cans?” Immediately followed by Princess Danicker who was Peaking with some sort ‘O motor oil... Um? NOT tonight Danica, I think you were simply getting your ARSE KICKED by Sarah Fisher... Albeit the final results show Fisher in 15th after a last lap tire bearing failure... Hmm? Any chance it was a result of that evening’s earlier tyre rub?

SFR Kentucky Race Report

Sears Point
And is it just me... Or don’t you find it funny the amount of energy being put into selling tickets for this month’s upcoming Indy Car event at Sears Point Raceway in sleepy ‘lil SNORE-HOMA...

As I simply chuckle every time I see a commercial run for tickets during the Indy Car race and now this exquisite promotional flyer has just arrived in my mailbox... Makes me wonder just how far Tony G. plans on bending over backwards to appease the folks at Speedway Motorsports Inc. (SMI) eh? You know that ‘lil organization with some dude named Bruton Smith at the helm, who in 2006 DROPPED to Number 278 on the list of Forbes 400 list (of BILLIONAIRES) with a net worth of only $1.4b. (While some dude nicknamed The Captain was ranked #140 with $2.2b in the same ’06 rankings)

Monday, August 11, 2008


Nope! I’m NOT talking ‘bout the great Sears Point Raceway that some have affectionately designated as being located in “SNORE-HOMA.” NO, I’m talking ‘bout ‘dat supposed “Clean Sheet ‘O Paper” that Indy Car promised in regards to the 2009 calendar. Can I get a price check on aisle 9 for a six pack ‘O Charmin toilet paper...

Thus I found it very infurirating that once again Tony George and his band of ‘lil Merry men (TA; Terry “Muskrat Luv” Angstadt, Joey “Look Ma! NO Hands!” Chitwood, Brian Braveheart, etc.) SNUBBED Portland, Oregon...


And while I really DON’T wanna get into the whole Oval Track vs. Road Course hoopla, or my new favourite word learned in Germany; BULL SHEISA!!! Unfortunately the Red Flag has been waved in front of my face once again, as some of the Blogosphere is chanting Ole, Ole! In hopes of having an ALL Oval Indy Car calendar, but as Don Henley once sang; GET OVER IT!

Thus I was surprised to learn that Portland International Raceway went ahead with its previously scheduled 2008 Champ Car event date and hosted the Mazda Grand Prix of Portland after all, this past July 27th, while the majority of Open Wheel Racing’s attention was focused upon The Thrill from West Hill Up North Eh? And all of ‘dem FREE Subway Sandwiches...

The Portland event was a sign of just how far things have sunk in the Northwest racing scene, as the event’s headliner was the Star Mazda series, albeit a double header race outing, with the Jetta TDI Cup, Mazda MX5 Cup and “Starzs ‘O Karting cast as supporting races... Aye Karumba!

Did somme-body say Maz-Duh MX5 Cup? Why this gives me flashbacks of ‘Ol Timer USAC Midget piloto Robin Miller gleefully recapping the 2007 Chump Carzs event for The Speed Report with the Nat-like screeching of “Me Tooze” (Miata’s) droning on behind him...

As I was actually one of the few Diehard’s to sit thru the Me-Tooze racing session, well actually I watched the start but they were so FLIPPIN’ SLOW that I couldn’t bear to watch them any further and sauntered back to my hotel instead. But the long winded point is...

Although Indy Car’s hands may have been tied by various tracks having existing contracts and kissing the ARSES of others. (Can you say Bruton Smith?) I’m still quite befuddled how Portland could be left outta the mix... Although crowd attendance has been down the past few years largely due to the PATHETIC WATERED DOWN Racing Series formerly known as CCWS, Mr. Miller claims that there wasn’t even 20,000 spectators at the 2007 event...

And I could see this being true, since I was there for ALL 3 Days ‘O Action, as in Friday, Saturday and Sunday... And a few thoughts come to mind upon this miniscule crowd figure, as the Portland Champ Car race used to be the cities largest single day event with 65,000+. (And that’s REAL Attendance, NOT “Juan ‘O ‘dem” Kentucky sell-outs!)

First of all it RAINED the entire day Saturday, as I sat frigidly motionless the entire day at my metal grandstand watching the cars hydroplaning down the front straightaway into the Festival Curves. (Where cars actually OVERTAKE one another) And I recall leaving the track after ALL of the competitors had splish splashed they’re way thru their respective sessions being so cold that my teeth wouldn’t stop chattering!

Secondly, in an ignoramus attempt to “bundle” the Champ Car weekend, the city of Portland lumped the event with the 100th Anniversary of the Rose Festival with the Rose Festival Parade being held on race morning... So with the threat of another day’s precipitation, 17 cars on the grid and The Hamburgular (S. Bourdais) running roughshod over the entire grid, its NOT hard to understand why the attendance was down...

Yet, I ask... Is Portland LESS DESERVING than Homestead? As I’ve seen numerous reports claiming that it too only draws 20,000 spectators *to an Oval NO less!) and that its Fans don’t give a SHIT ‘bout the event, which I can tell you, the majority of PIR attendee’s do, as I’m constantly amazed at how many have been going for nearly two decades! Perhaps it’s just that the fellow Northwest racing enthusiast can smell a RAT! And ultimately tired of such a sad product? I mean just think if there was one unified racing series... Ta-Duh?

Of course Portland wasn’t the only ex-Champ Car race to end up on Terry Angstadt’s cutting room floor, as Cleveland and Houston also got cut, which is entertaining since they’re both Mike Lanigan events, although I don’t see Houston ever going back into play while they’re some blowhard named Eddie “The Goose” Gossage shootin’ off his trap...

And supposedly Loudon and Las Vegas were looked at, but didn’t make the cut for extraneous reasons, like the Los Wage$ amphitheater having way too MANY seats, i.e.; 120,000+

So, it appears for the time being my closest Champ, Err Indy Car World Series events will be the two Californications; Long Beach and everyone’s favourite road course... You know the “Juan” up in sleepy ‘lil SNORE-HOMA... Which I’ve been to twice and is a great little track with massive elevation change, just extremely hard to pass upon and it’s a wee bit out in the booney’s...

But hey! Give me Portland ANY day! As we do truly appreciate our road racing up here and it seems obvious that Attendance is NOT the core reason for certain venues being selected to ‘lil Napoleon’s schedule... I mean if Iowa can swing a date on 35,000 then give Portland International Raceway a chance!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

The ultimate oil change

Talk about the ULTIMATE MONEY $QUEEZE! As the various Governments around the world continuously MANIPULATE the prices of EVERYTHING! Including ‘dat thar Black Gold! (And everyone will sing Halleluiah when the price of Oil dips below $100 per barrel, $HEISTERS!!! And do NOT even get me started upon the magnificent Oil Companies...)

Now comes word of just how the colour ‘O money truly works, as an unidentified Arab Oil Sheik has just THROWN AWAY some where’s in the region of Fifty “large” to simply have his Lamborghini’s oil changed... To read more, see; Sheik ships Lamborghini to London for Oil Change

Friday, August 8, 2008

Kentucky woman

Apparently the gang at Sarah Fisher Racing didn’t think I was worthy? As according to Press Dog; Sarah’s “People” issued the following press release: Fisher returns to flying in Sparta test, regarding her recently completed test at Kentucky in preparations for this Saturday night’s race.

And while Sarah ran both days trouble free, the same cannot be said for some of her fellow competitor’s, most notably Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson who managed to smack the wall in his newly built-up road course chassis.

And now pressdog has found the following interview with Sarah Fisher; Fisher feels good with racing group. Thus, the MAIN reason I’m gonna listen to the Kentucky race via the IMS Radio Broadcast is because Sarah’s racing...


Another female joins Indy Lights

This past Tuesday on the Autosport Radio Show, Mr. Donald Kay had two aspiring female racecar pilots on his ‘lil webcast...

The first was the very enjoyable Brazilian Ana Beatriz, who’s now been on the show a couple of times and is very fast “For Sure!” Actually, Ana has just become the very first woman to win a Firestone Indy Lights race, as the road course specialist took her maiden victory on the Nashville concrete oval.

The San Paulo native has truly been a force to reckon with this season, as her Rookie season of driving for perennial Lights Champions Sam Schmidt Motorsports has seven Top 5 finishes, as well as eight top 7th place finishes supplementing her very first Lights career victory. Watch for Ana in the #20 Healthy Choice machine, Don’s favourite sponsor...

The second guest was Christina Orr, who’s from New Zealand and was helped in landing her ride by Ron Dixon, a.k.a. Scott’s Papa... Who perhaps ran Christina in New Zealand in the Toyota Racing series? (Toyota Racing Series is New Zealand’s premiere Open Wheel category)

Christina was a fun interview, as she was born ‘N raised on a farm and when she goes home after her four race stint in the Flinstone Indy Lites series, will immediately go back to shoveling the shit literally, as her dad’s stuck doin’ it right now...

Christina will make her Indy Lights debut at Kentucky for Alliance Motorsport, in a four race deal, behind the wheel of the #24, in what will be her very first Oval race. Orr’s inclusion into Indy Lights will see the series swell to Drei Frauen, as the 21yr Brazilian “Be-ah” (Beatriz) and 19yr old Kiwi Orr will share the limelight with 22yr old Swiss Rookie Cyndie Allemann, pilot of the #18 American Spirit entry...

Kanaan staying at AGR

Contrary to prior Blogosphere reports fueled by Robin Miller’s report that TK, a.k.a. Tony “Follow your Schnauz” Kanaan being poised to sign a contract with The Cheepster, a.k.a. Chip Ganassi as Dan “SPIKE” Wheldon’s replacement for 2009, is reporting that Kanaan has just inked a five year contract extension to continue with Andretti Green Racing. To read more, see; Andretti keeps Kanaan

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Button’s up

Sounding like a broken record; it’s hard to believe that it was two year’s ago when Jenson Button scored his maiden Formula 1 victory at the Hungarian Grand Prix.

. And I’m certain that “Jense” would prefer to be basking in the afterglow of that historic weekend instead of puttering about the back end of this year’s Formula 1 grid at the “Hunga-boring,” which is notorious for being extremely hard to pass on, although I suppose this past weekend’s race was anything but boring, eh? (Jense did manage to finish 12th, albeit getting slowed down by Nick Heidfeld)

Hungarian GP Race Report

Yet, as for Jense, well, at least he doesn’t have to worry about Taku-san anymore, as his ex-teammate Takuma Sato had the audacity of passing Jense for position going uphill in the “B” Team “Super Best Friends” (Super Aguri) at Spa Francorchamps (Sept, ’06) And then being punted offline by the slithering BMW Sauber of Nick Heidfeld in the Mount Fuji rain fest. (Oct, ’07) As what NO “Suzuker Specials” last year, as in years past, Honda built special race engines for its Home Grand Prix... (Somme-thun to do with F1 engine rules freezes?) I mean being out performed by the Spykers, Err, Force India chassis… “Crikey’s Mate!” (Well ok, actually Honda and Force India have been fighting for Caboose on the field) But I digress.

As previously written, (Indy Day Trippin’) I’d just returned from my second jaunt to Indianapolis. As Clyde had driven us “Coast to Coast” in 2.5 days! And then upon returning from the 2006 USGP, I’d been forced to listen to the exploits of “Auntie Harriet’s” flight home…

Talk ‘bout pouring SALT in the wounds! It just keeps getting better ‘N better, eh? First Aunty Harriet (87yr’s “young” and attending her very first Grand Prix!) Has some young German whippersnapper sit next to her from Indianapolis to Chicago… As Harriet says; you’ve got kind of a funny accent. (“Kid!”) What are you doing in America? Oh, I’m Nico Rosberg… I was driving a Williams-Cosworth at the USGP!

(Rosberg had celebrated his 21st birthday during the Canada-Indianapolis week break; (June 25, 2006) “In America you make a big deal out of celebrating your 21st Birthday. In Germany it’s just another day,” replied Rosberg to Speed’s Bob varsha.

Then about one week later, (summer, 2006) I met Charlie, Emily, Tricia and Robert Nearn, for lunch in Pioneer Square. (Downtown Seattle) Yes, that’s the same Robert Nearn who just competed in this year’s Rolex 24 piloting the #06 Pontiac for Banner engineering.

So, did I tell you about my bar; Mews of Mayfair, Robert asked? NO! Yeah, me and a few blokes bought a four story building right smack-dab in downtown Central London. We just had our grand opening ‘bout 5weeks ago after renovating it for about 8 months.

James, my partner and bartender was dating (No longer) Sue Button… You know, Jenson Button’s sister. So after WINNING his very first grand prix, Button rang up and said we’re taking over the entire building for 24hrs. We’re going to party, party hard into the next day mate…

Robert had to partake Jense and 100 plus of his entourage from Button’s home town. You know how physically fit Formula 1 drivers are…. But they’re NOT much of partiers. As Button had said they’d go all night, but after a few beers Jense crawled off into a corner and fell fast asleep! Of course Robert had to “chat him up” and congratulate him on his victory. They talked a bit about his ’69 Dodge Charger he’s renovating.

Next Robert asked me. Have you ever heard of the GP Masters? Of course well I had to go watch them at Silverstone; They’re great fun to watch. Have you ever heard of DeCesaris? And I quickly replied. Don’t you mean “DUH-CRASHERIS!” Well he WON the race; I think it’s the very first event he’s ever won. (Apparently this victory was so stupendous that the GP Masters series went out of business, eh?)

After watching the Grand Prix Masters Robert flew over here to join his family for a brief holiday prior to racing at Sears Point Raceway (Sonoma, CA) for Synergy Racing with his co-pilot Charles Johnson. Robert says that Charles is a great guy, who’s also quite large. You see he’s an ex-NFL tight end who played for the Dallas cowboys.

In case you haven’t guessed by now. It’s “BLOODY HELL!” The life of a true “Jet-Setter,” eh? As Robert has been trying to get himself into a full time “gig” in a Pontiac GPXR, commenting “These Blokes make really good money!”

Having the pleasure of dining with Robert’s “Crew” during the winter holidays, this past December, over dinner I was asked, “Do you like that English driver?” Oh you mean Louise “Jaguar” Hamilton… Yes, he’s a real hot schue. And what about that other bloke who’s Robert’s mate? Oh, you mean Jenson Button.

“Poor Jense,” who’s been completely overshadowed by the past shenanigans of Ferdi ‘N Louise at Team McLaren, along with Hamilton’s sensational rookie season and who’s now leading the World Championship... Which has caused the shine seemingly to leave Button on the outside looking in as yesterday’s news.

You know how those BLOODY Brit’s are… Always looking for the next Formula 1 hero, with Britain now being totally enamored with their newest phenom, the young Messer Hamilton, who gave reigning two time World Champion Fred Alonso massive fits during his Rookie season… Causing Fredrico Suave to make a hasty exit us to Renault, yet you have to feel a little downtrodden for good ‘ole Jense and the factory Honda F1 outfit. As both Honda pilots were unable to progress out of Q1 qualifying for the very first time last season. (2007) when Button was bumped by Vitantonio Luzzi and the floundering Toro Rosso chassis, (Remember when Luzzi & Scott “NOSE” Speed drove for them?) yet even worse was hearing the radio transmission from Jense’s teammate Rubens Barrichello crackle to life; Complaining of being unable to pass the lowly Spyker ahead of him! Telling the team he was giving her all the power she’s got! Roger that, we hear yuh Scotty!

Yet perhaps new Team Principal Ross Brawn will be able to revive Honda’s fortunes and help Jense ring in the New Year with hopes of moving up the grid in 2008? Err, perhaps we’d better make that 2009, as I’ve heard that Honda has scuttled any further development of the beleaguered RA108 in favour of next year’s RA109 challenger…

Good Luck Jense!

2008 Hungarian Grand Prix

Qualifying Results
Pole: L. Hamilton; 2. H. Kovalainen; 3. F. Massa; 4. R. Kubica; 5. T. Glock;
6. K. Raikkonen; 7. F. Alonso; 8. M. Webber; 9. J. Trulli; 10. N. Piquet

Race Results
Winner: H. Kovalainen* (1st F1 Career victory
2. T. Glock; 3. K. Raikkonen; 4. F. Alonso; 5. L. Hamilton; 6. N. Piquet;
7. J. Trulli; 8. R. Kubica

Point Standings
(Round 11 of 18)

L. Hamilton 62
K. Raikkonen 57
F. Massa 54
R. Kubica 49
N. Heidfeld 41


Ferrari 111
McLaren 100
BMW Sauber 90
Toyota 35
Renault 33

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Here’s Flavio

Danny B;
“When Paul McCartney wrote money can't buy me love, HE WAS WRONG…”

In the wake of last weeks horrible news regarding the death of Renault R & D Engineer William Miller, I thought a little good news was warranted for the Enstone based Formula 1 outfit, a.k.a. Renault F1.

And why yes, I know that this is a little dated… But nevertheless Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B sent me the following story about F1’s prima Donna Playboy, a.k.a. Flavour Flav (Flavio Briatore) getting married to 28 year-old Italian Super model Elisabetta Gregoraci...

Be careful Flav, Sir Maxxum may have somme-thun to say ‘bout being Top Cheese in the Playboy department, eh? Although Flavio isn’t immune to having the “Beauty’s” tripping all over him as his past includes trysts with Naomi Campbell, Adriana Volpe and Heidi Klum, whom had his daughter, Helene "Leni" Klum in May, 2004, but according to Klum; “Flav is not involved in the child's life.” Aye Karumba…

Reports claim that the newlyweds were chauffeured to and from the wedding chapel by none other than Double World Champion Fredrico Suave. (F. Alonso) Of which immediately made me flash back to when some Seven Time World Champion pulled chauffeuring duties for one of the Scuderia’s heavyweights… As in Michael Schumacher donning tuxedo and cap for Luca di Montezemolo... To which I can only say; Yo, Flavour Flay, you’r NO Luca di Montezemolo. So get over it!

Montreal gets soaked

Splish Splash, I was taking a bath...
Oh Rubber Duckie, you’re the one...

As yes, I’ve still got the remnants ‘O JET RAG FEVER! Must have, if I felt like doin’ absolutely nuttin’ and watchin’ le N-Car Lite race from Up North, eh? This past Saturday, as I tuned in Just-in-Time to see the Nationwide Boyzs getting’ ready to make RASSCAR history by runnin’ in the rain... HMM? Let’s see, it’s raining in Montreal and Sunny in Seattle on Seafair weekend, what gives?

Although I missed the beginning of this exciting race, apparently pole sitter Scott “Scooter” Pruett was heard over his radio saying that conditions were RIDICULOUS!

Thus I found it pretty impressive that the top five as the N-Car Lite Boyzs got ready to rumble was an eclectic mix of Road Racing (Can you say permanent Road Courses?) talent, with Pruett on point, followed by Marcus “The Tasmanian Devil” Ambrose, “MAD MAX” (Massimiliano) Papis, “Pat the Carpenter” (Patrick Carpentier) and “Jackie V.” (Jacques Villeneuve) This didn’t include RASSCAR interlopers Carl “Flipper” Edwards and “The Bifster,” a.k.a. Gregg Biffle, while Ron Fellows, Boris Said and Ron Hornaday lurked nearby...

Ambrose immediately passed Pruett in the rain and promptly pulled away from the entire field, several times, as every time he built up a lead, it was cut short by a yellow flag. Yet Ambrose steadily pulled away from second placed Papis until Massimiliano wrecked. Then Ambrose’s day effectively went up in smoke when he was penalized for entering and exiting the pit lane too fast, which had a speed limit of 30mph, as the Aussie would finish third.

Pruett’s fading hopes were dashed during a 40 second pit stop to clean the fogging windshield and replace his missing windshield wiper blade, while Marty Reid lobbied for Carl Edwards squeegee-fest during one of the numerous caution periods to be on ESPN’s highlight of the night segment.

Meanwhile, Ron Fellows, one of three drivers to pit early and race on an alternate strategy found himself 43 seconds ahead of the field, before another yellow flag was unfurled, as Fellows had earlier gone head to head with native son JV and it was amazing to hear the rain soaked “Kuh-nucks” vocally go crazy the further Villeneuve worked his way towards the front, as Jacques suddenly found himself in second place before punting a fellow competitor during the yellow flag period when he simply couldn’t see the car ahead of him, which was followed by Joey Lagano incurring a similar fate before RASSCAR Red Flagged the race, prior to what would become the final results, with Fellows taking the victory ahead of Carpentier, although multiple drones of Canadians had exited in mass after Villeneuve wrecked his racecar.

So it was pretty funny hearin’ Fellows levy for car owner Dale Earnhart Jr. to leave his seat in the Nationwide car for this week’s upcoming event at Watkins Glen during his interview Sunday night on Wind Tunnel...

Monday, August 4, 2008

HYDROS: Seafair Sunday - 2008 Edition

So another Seafair weekend has come ‘N gone and I suppose many cities would kill for such a fantastic event, which has come to signal the height ‘O summer here in the Pacific Northwest... As I watched the finale on the Telescreen and heard NW legend Chip Hanauer state; “The Unlimited Hydroplane race is an event in itself, the Blue Angels air show is an event by itself and we’ve got both packed into one day!”

Yeah, that’s right! It’s a wonderful tradition to have the US Navy’s Blue Angels as the highlight performers of the Seafair Regatta, preceded by a flyover by “Fat Albert” the Blue Angel’s support transport... As the event is actually the Chevrolet Cup, which I have to say good on them for honoring their commitment as GM is hemorrhaging “Greenbacks,” having just declared their third worst quarterly profit loss in their 100+ year history. ($15.5 Billion)

Hydro’s fly again
Although it’s lost quite a bit of the glamour it once held in the past, when it was the only major sporting event in town. (Pre-professional sports franchises) Nevertheless, yesterday was the annual Seafair Hydroplane regatta on the shores of Lake Washington, of which I’ve lost great interest in since the Miss Budweiser Dynasty came to a prolific end, after 41 years of domination by team Principal Bernie Little. Yet I suppose once a fan of Unlimited Hydroplanes, always a fan, eh?

Yet the names and faces of these land sharks on water or more appropriately hydrofoils, have changed immensely since the days ‘O Northwest Hydroplane lore, when beginning in 1950, the great “Slo Mo” (Slo Mo IV & V) electrified the crowds with its flying starts underneath the floating bridge on Lake Washington!

Slo Mo was followed by the Miss Thriftway, the Hawaii Kai and Miss Bardahl, with all of these famous hulls ruling the Unlimited Hydroplane roost during the late 1950’s and early ‘60’s. Then boats such as the Pride of Pay ‘N Pak, Miss Budweiser and Atlas Van Lines all fought for supremacy during the decades of the 1970’s-1990’s, although all three teams saw their leading drivers lose their lives, as Motorsports Hall of Fame Unlimited Hydroplane driver Chip Hanauer, who dreamt of being a racecar driver, instead cut his teeth aboard another Northwest staple, The Squire Shop, before getting his big break thru the tragedy of the sports “Godfather” Bill Muncey, after Bill’s death in Acapulco in 1981. Hanauer would go on to become the sports second most successful pilot behind his mentor Muncey, former owner/driver of the Atlas Van Lines, who currently holds the record for all time APBA Unlimited Hydroplane career victories, with 62 wins, while Hanauer has 61 and Dave Villwock has most likely scored his 56th.

NW Pride
Although there name may not be known to you, The Oberto name has been famous in this region for decades, not only for their long standing production of premium beef products, but also as long time sponsors of their own Unlimited Hydroplane, which was the winner of this year’s Columpia Cup.

Thus, I found the following story quite enjoyable, as apparently Art & Dorothy Oberto, (although originally Dorothy’s idea) with Dorothy humorously titling herself V.P. of Chaos, of their ‘lil “SNAZAGES” (Sausage) business, have been doing a most noteworthy thing the past few years by opening their home up to less fortunate Senior Citizens during Seafair weekend. To read the full story, see; Family opens up home to seniors

Chevrolet Cup Finals
After the days various preliminary sprint races, of three laps each, the six boat field was set for the five lap Chevrolet Cup final, being slightly delayed when the five minute “gun” was reset due to some wayward boaters upon the log boom, With all of the boats circulating and jockeying for position, the game of “Chicken” or who can go slowest was in full tilt boogey mode, with three of the Unlimited boats going off-plane while trying to outmaneuver each other for the inside lane, as current rules allow for drivers to take on water over their sponsons for a maximum of five seconds before they can be penalized.

And although the Miss Beacon Plumbing got the inside lane, Dave Villwock, former driver of the Miss Budweiser, piloted the Ellstrom E-Lam Plus to victory in the 2008 Chevrolet Cup after Jean Theoret (Miss Beacon Plumbing) was given a 1:00 minute penalty for not being on plane prior to the start of the race after leading all five laps of the final heat.

The French Canadian Theoret, who was leading last week’s Columbia Cup, before encountering mechanical problems, saw arch nemisis Villwock penalized by the race stewards for such infractions in Tri-Cities, WA and is a former two time winner of the Chevrolet Cup and was obviously disappointed by the officials ruling, which ultimately dropped him to fifth place.

Villwock averaged 134.612 mph enroute to his ninth Unlimited Hydroplane victory on Lake Washington.

Steve David, last year’s Chevrolet Cup winner finished second aboard the O Boy! Oberto while Jeff Bernard, pilot of the finished third.
Rookie unlimited driver Kip Brown was fourth driving Our Gang Racing, while Greg Hopp, driver of the Mirage boats, was sixth after being penalized a lap after hitting a buoy and J. Michael Kelly, pilot of the Graham Trucking was unable to finish...

Friday, August 1, 2008

Racing fodder

While still fuming over the BASTARDIZED Indy Car calendar... Here’s a few quick tidbits to ponder.

Il Notre Dam”Kana-duh’s” favourite(?) son Jacky V, a.k.a. Jacques Villeneuve will NOT surprisingly attempt to resurrect his floundering RASSCAR Tin Top career with a solo outing in this weekend’s N-Car Lite race on the Il Notre Dam’s Circuit Gilles Villeneuve. (Saturday) Apparently the forces to be, have helped ensured that the Kuh-nuck will give his fellow Canadian’s something to cheer ‘N spend their “Looney’s” on when Jack Vanilla pilots the #32 brown Racing Toyota Camry...

You may wish to also check out the Grand Am Boyzs blastin’ about the man made isle on the St. Lawrence River tonight on SPEED at 8PM EASTERN. (5PM Pacific)

UPDATE:I just learned that Pat the Carpenter, a.k.a. Patrick Carpentier will give up his Sprint Cup ride this weekend in favour of competing for the overall win on the Il Notre Dam in this weekend’s Nationwide racing event. Apparently Carpentier wishes to commemorate his one year anniversary of Tin Top racing fighting against his ex-Open Wheel rival in his home country...

Michael’s Boo-Boo
Perhaps you’ve heard about Michael Schumacher’s latest traffic incident? Apparently while trying to put the “Schuey-swerve” upon an unsuspectingmotorist while in another classic hurry to the airport, Herr Schumacher failed to see a fellow motorist opening his garage door... As the Seven Time World Champion then struck the hapless pedestrian and sent him sprawling across his hood, to which the German was quick to give the startled Brit a massive tongue lashing, before the two exchanged insurance information.

Of course this pales in comparison to the sad news I first learned about while watching this morning’s Hunga-boring F1 practice.

A death at EnstoneThe Renault F1 team was shocked on Wednesday when a research and development engineer was found dead at the team factory in Enstone. Police and paramedics were called and William Millar was pronounced dead at the scene. There have been press reports that a firearm was involved, but neither the police nor the team are currently making any comment about the matter while police investigate the circumstances.

Groundhog Day?

You know things are going’ downhill when you cannot even get mildly excited about recapping your trip adventures at Der Hockenheimring, Ja Volt? As I sat down to fill in the blanks by watching my tape delayed TV coverage and just couldn’t find myself motivated... And now we’re onto the Hunga-Boring Ring, which should provide further banter for some of uze Oval Track nutten-hoonds! So, Boo Hoo-hoo , eh? (As my report will follow shortly sometime next week)

Instead, I found myself chuckling over Robin Miller’s latest sarcastic remarks on last Sunday’s Wind Tunnel, regarding Gerry “What me Worry?” Forsythe over the matter that he’ll not only be in the Indy Lights championship next year, but also sprouting full time Indy Car and ALMS efforts...

Robin Miller;
“Let’s recall that Gerry threw Paul Tracy under the bus and he’ll only go racing if he gets somebody else to pay for it. He’s been seeking a sponsorship price tag of $10-15 million per season the past 4+ years and hasn’t gotten any takers, so I’ll believe Gerry’s returning when I see him show up on the grid...”

Yet, Forsythe/Pettit Racing does have the very capable “KUH-Naid-iun Hinge” (James Hinchcliffe) racing for him and it would be a shame to not see this promising Kuh-Nuck make his way forward in Open Wheel Racing. Shockingly he has Tire Rack sponsorship to go along with Forsythe’s “In-house” Indeck labeling...

Of course I’m still guessing that “Young Wicky,” a.k.a. Robert Wickens; aptly nicknamed by Hinchcliffe will potentially become the next Canadian to break into the Formula 1 ranks, but I digress...

And speakin’ of ‘Ol Chrome Horn, Pt, Messer Paul Tracy was interviewed on Speed Freaks last Sunday evening... And started off by confirming that indeed some of his ex-Forsythe crew had bet against The Thrill from West Hill being able to crack the top twenty at Edmonton, having actually placed large pocketful’s ‘O “Looney’s” against PT, who said he didn’t need any motivation for his return to Open Wheel Racing...

And Tracy claimed that he wasn’t drinking the cool aide, but me thinks he was, as PT noted; “It’s NOT TG’s (Tony George) fault that Champ Car floundered... Aye Karumba! Who’d ever thunk-it, eh? As ‘lil Napoleon is directly responsible for outspending Champ Car and putting Open Wheel Racing in the sewer...

Which leads me to my last ‘lil piece of bathroom tissue... In regards to the most PATHETIC handling of Indy Car’s future TV package, which claims that the only serious taker is some fly by night third world satellite channel named Versus... Have you ever heard ‘O dat?

I certainly have NOT and why did this bring back immediate flashbacks of the ridiculous TV programming NIGHTMARE I endured a decade ago over Formula 1... As I’m certain I’ve already written ‘bout chasing the Creme de la Creme of single seater racing around the dial. As first they began on ESPN, and then moved to the David Letterman time slot on the Deuce, a.k.a. ESPN2, before being shown on Fox Sports NW... Before ultimately landing on Speedvision, of which my CRAPY cable provider REFUSED to add to its channel line-up and I finally succumbed to purchasing a DISH Network satellite dealie in order to view Formula 1 and CART on SPEED!

So go ahead Indy Car... Throw your pathetic TV coverage in the TOILET! As the only thing worse then Versus would be hosting further Indy Car races on El Classicoe, or is that ESPN88, eh?

DON’T Squeeze the Charmin!

Perhaps it’s just me... But I smell somme-thun’ STINKY!!! And it’s called the 2009 Indy Car calendar... Which has been be-labored the past few months as the second coming of Open Wheel Racing as they’d be given a “Clean sheet ‘O paper” (and two ply NO less!) towards reshaping the face of Indy Car racing in the great Norte Americano’s.

And last time I checked, the clean sheet of paper moniker refers to starting over from scratch and SIGNIFICANTLY improving whatever less then stellar design you’ve been dealing with in the past... But TE And Company certainly did NOT use their blank slates very well, as we’ve been given almost a carbon copy of the 2008 calendar with the exception of Nashville being replaced by Toronto...

And I’m so PISSED OFF right now ‘bout Portland getting the SHAFT! That I’m NOT sure if I wanna continue following ‘lil Napoleon’s circus... Although I suppose the Princess Danicker vs. Milka-Licious Poodle-fest is worth the price ‘O admission, eh? Anyone seen my Chiwawa lately? Her name’s FLUFFY, she’s black ‘N white and wearin’ a flea collar...

2009 IndyCar Series schedule:
Sunday, April 5, Streets of St. Petersburg, 1.8-mile street course
Sunday, April 19 Streets of Long Beach, 1.968-mile street course
Sunday, April 26, Kansas Speedway, 1.5-mile oval
Sunday, May 24, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, 2.5-mile oval
Sunday, May 31, The Milwaukee Mile, 1.0-mile oval
Saturday, June 6 *, Texas Motor Speedway, 1.5-mile oval
Sunday, June 21, Iowa Speedway, .875-mile oval
Saturday, June 27 *, Richmond International Raceway, .75-mile oval
Sunday, July 5, Watkins Glen International, 3.4-mile road course
Sunday, July 12, Streets of Toronto, 1.721-mile street course
Sunday, July 26, Edmonton City Centre Airport, 1.973-mile airport course
Saturday, Aug. 1 *, Kentucky Speedway, 1.5-mile oval
Sunday, Aug. 9, Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course, 2.258-mile road course
Sunday, Aug. 23, Infineon Raceway, 2.245-mile road course
Saturday, Aug. 29*, Chicagoland Speedway, 1.5-mile oval
Sunday, Sept. 6, The Raceway at Belle Isle Park, 2.906-mile street course
Saturday, Sept. 19, Twin Ring Motegi, 1.5-mile oval
Sunday, Oct. 11, Homestead-Miami Speedway, 1.5-mile oval* - night race
Schedule subject to change.