Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The grass is always bluer

So did Y’all catch Robin Miller on Wind Tunnel’s last call Sunday night? Miller’s time was preceded by a pretty lengthy interview with Tony “Follow your Schnauz” Kanaan, who claims that Miller should be known as Agent Robin Miller and get 10% of every deal he’s involved in...

Yet, you have to enjoy Miller’s antics as he tried makin’ a collect call replete with old fashion rotary dial telephone while being live on satellite... Along with his jabs ‘bout hoping’ “Those Three” didn’t get their Christmas bonus, to which Dave Despain said; “Which Three?” To which Robin clarified as Savery, Green and Mikey... And how he hoped that because of his story TK would be getting’ $4 million a year instead of the rumoured $3m.

In regards to the reported sell-out announced for the Blue Grass states Indy Car race, Miller proclaimed’ “That’s what’s known as a Kentucky sell-out!” As in Bruton Smith and Edwardo “Hyper mouth” Gossage were reportedly in the building, are rumoured to be purchasing the joint and perhaps they were trying to pump up the media... As in the fourth turn seats were empty...

Kentucky Fried
And speakin’ of Kentucky; “There’s NO place like home, there’s NO place like home, and there’s NO place like home...” OOPS! Wrong state, uh Toto! But as I mentioned before I only wished to listen to the race via the IMS Radio Network, as I prefer Mike King, Davey Hamilton, Mark James, Bob Jenkins, The Kevin Twins, etc OVER Marty Reid & Co. as I feel they give a much more descriptive narrative of whets going on...

And dare I say it? I think it was a pretty tedious race, as Scotty “Got Milk?” Dixon seemingly “TOYED” with the entire field the whole evening, enroute to his series tying sixth victory, which was previously held by current, ahem? Teammate Danny Boy Wheldon...

Highlight of the race “For Sure,” was Sarah Fisher and The Princess goin’ Mano E Mano, Err Female vs. Female when Fisher gave Danica a taste of her own medicine with a TK-Helioe LUV tap on lap 81, as reportedly there was an audible gasp as a (Are we sure it wasn’t Smoke coming’ from Danicker’s helmet?) smoke cloud arose from the two ladies rubbin’ tyres...

And lets NOT forget about Danny b’s favourite Indy Car Femme Milka-licious, a.k.a. Milka Duno, who first made waves by slowing down the race leaders entering the pits before going up in a cloud ‘O smoke with a big time wall smack on lap 134. But, hey! Marty “GERRITOL” Roth also managed to impede the progress of eventual race victor Scott Dixon also during a pit stop...

And shockingly, the “Flinstone Tyre-rific” winner of the Edmonton race was none other than Paul “Chrome Horn” Tracy, supposedly by a wide margin, so I guess ‘dem free Subway sandwiches really paid off, eh?

And speakin’ of crass commercialization... I found it a bit tawdry to hear Franks Energy Drinks, complete with sultry Franks Energy-girl asking; “Do you wanna try two of my cans?” Immediately followed by Princess Danicker who was Peaking with some sort ‘O motor oil... Um? NOT tonight Danica, I think you were simply getting your ARSE KICKED by Sarah Fisher... Albeit the final results show Fisher in 15th after a last lap tire bearing failure... Hmm? Any chance it was a result of that evening’s earlier tyre rub?

SFR Kentucky Race Report

Sears Point
And is it just me... Or don’t you find it funny the amount of energy being put into selling tickets for this month’s upcoming Indy Car event at Sears Point Raceway in sleepy ‘lil SNORE-HOMA...

As I simply chuckle every time I see a commercial run for tickets during the Indy Car race and now this exquisite promotional flyer has just arrived in my mailbox... Makes me wonder just how far Tony G. plans on bending over backwards to appease the folks at Speedway Motorsports Inc. (SMI) eh? You know that ‘lil organization with some dude named Bruton Smith at the helm, who in 2006 DROPPED to Number 278 on the list of Forbes 400 list (of BILLIONAIRES) with a net worth of only $1.4b. (While some dude nicknamed The Captain was ranked #140 with $2.2b in the same ’06 rankings)