Monday, August 29, 2022

F1: toto still Crying Wolf! FIA Mandates lift Kits as Porpoise Gate continues

Although the Oscar Piastri Contract Row might be making more Noise?

 

Initially when I Heard the Headline via my NFB Newsline for The Blind’s telephone service for the Daily Mail’s F1 section Wayback on August 5th. Proclaiming that Toto Wolff says Lewis Hamilton could Develop Brain Damage from Porpoising, I immediately Bellowed Out to my telephone, then Retire Lewis!

 

As why does this make me think of the NFL’s Concussion Syndrome and CTE Brain injury? For which I’m pretty sure the NFL’s just begun another Pre-season and very few Football Players are Quitting the Sport, Righto?

 

And although I’m Not a Fan of Red Bull’s Pied Piper Chris Kringle’ Horner, I have to say after reading, Err listening to the Daily Mail’s article and other stories on Ye Intrawoods’, nee internet. I thinkg that ‘Ol Chris may have a point about Herr wolff’s crying of Crocodile Tears in order to mitigate the woeful performance of His cherished Silver Arrows entry! Since we All know that the Mercedes W13 chassis seemingly has been the Frontrunner doing the most Porposing. For which as Horner said, there’s an easy solution, increase your Bloody Ride Height toto!

 

One of the reasons I became enamoured with Formula 1 some Gory three-plus Decades ago was because each ‘N every F1 constructor Had to Build their own chassis and ultimately develop a Better “Mousetrap” if they weren’t that year’s Formula 1 Constructors Champion. In what’s the ultimate example of Pulling thouse Self Up by Thar Bootstraps! Or should that be Lederhosen or leggings, Herr Wolff?

 

Now I take Brain Damage to be a very Serious subject, for which Toto mentioned the overly High amount of Hertz frequency both of His Mercedes drivers Lewis Hamilton and George Russell are experiencing, and that the car’s recent performance improvements are largely to running on smoother tracks.

 

Yet wolf subsequently claims that since Barcelona forwards, Mercedes Has gotten a Handle upon it’s Porpoising issues with the addition of a Floor Stay and other modifications, albeit I don’t think He said they’re 100% solved? And then Hints that it’ll be very interesting at Spa to see how Red Bull and Ferrari cope with the FIA’s 2022 Rule’s “Tweak” regarding this issue. Since toto thinks that both F1 rivals floors are perhaps Flexing too much…

 

Meanwhile Golden child’, aka Sir Lewis has publicly stated He thinks they’re closing the Gap upon Ferrari, although Red Bull’s still a bit too far Ahead. And that the 37yr  Old Briton’ has No plans on retiring anytime soon, and may even seek a further Contract extension. All of which Don’t sound like Hamilton’s too worried about his physical Health, Eh?

 

Supposedly the World Motor sport council’s (WMSC) set to Rubber Stamp the FIA’s 2023 Rule changes regarding the Porpoising issue despite F1 Teams claiming their next year F1 challengers are already too far down the development Pipeline. Although these new Rules won’t be announced until a further Date…

 

And being Blind, I won’t be able to discern how the modified rules to supposedly go into force at last weekend’s Belgian Grand Prix affected the racecars.

 

While I suppose I should give Toto a little latitude? Since it’s not the first time a Formula 1 competitor has cried Foul over His fellow Compezione. Since I still recall Flexi Gate and how both Ferrari and Red Bull have been accused of “Cheating” by cleverly designing composite wings to “Droop” under loading but pass the mandatory Static tests. And then Didn’t Max Verstappen get a $50.000 Euros fine last year for touching Hamilton’s Rear wing regarding Mercedes perceived Flexing advantage?

 

But still, I Don’t think throwing the words Brain Damage around casually are the way to go Toto! 

Friday, August 26, 2022

MOTO GP: the Race Resumes towards this year’s Title Fight

But can Anybody Stop Defending MotoGP Champion Fabio Quartararo from winning a second, consecutive World Championship?

 

The Premio Road Racing Kneedraggers’ returned to action August 7th  at Bloody Silverstone after their five weeks Summer Holiday. Due in part to Finland’s Kymi Ring circuit once again Not Hosting it’s intended inaugural MotoGP race. And No, it’s Not named after that former Formula 1 Driver known as thee Iceman…

 

Cannot remember the last MotoGP race I “Watched,” Err listned to on Thy Telie’, but the British GP was a very good race! As it was refreshing not only having the Bikes’ back in action, but also with the great ride Maverick Top gun’ vinales put in upon His factory Aprilia. And only if Maverick hadn’t done His trademark Slow Start and dropping back to seventh, or may be just sixth? From starting second, who knows?

 

But I was indeed Rootin’ for Maverick to pass Pecco’ Bagnaia for the race victory, which the Spaniard wasn’t able to do. But it was Fun listening to the announcers describing Maverick carving His way steadily forward until He was threatening Francesco Bagnaia for the win, before a Scraggly last lap saw Maverick finish a tantalizing 0.4-seconds adrift!

 

As Vinales was the Aprilia “Salami” in the Ducati Sandwich, as Pecco’s Ducati teammate Jack Thriller’ Miller finished third. Giving us an All Italian manufacturer podium sweep in England.

 

As I heard the lead announcer, err Presenter claim that Miller was leaving Ducati for KTM at season’s end, and how the KTM’s aren’t really in the fight right now. Making me wonder who’s going to be Bagnaia’s Stablemate next year?

 

Another rider putting in a great ride was my current Numero Uno MotoGP rider Enea Bastianini, simply known as The Beast! As Bastianini carved His way from midfield to finish a fine fourth! Hmm, will Ducati want an All Italian lineup for 2023, or will it be the Martinator’, nee Jorge Martin instead? Or will Martin’s teammate Johann Zarco have something to say about it?

 

Heading to the Hills Are Shrieking Yamahas in Spielberg, which will forever be remembered as where Maverick vinales had His spectacular Meltdown… Three riders had Dominated the Top step of the Podium. Led by Ducati’s Francesco Bagnaia with four wins and four Poles. While reigning MotoGP Champion Fabio Quartararo had won three times and claimed one Poles upon His Yamaha. With Ducati Satellite Gresini Racing’s Enea Bastianini also notching a most impressive three victories abourd His year old Duc’.

 

Quartararo led the Points standings by 22 markers over Aprilia’s Aliex Espargaro: 180-158. With Aleix having scored His and Aprilia’s Debutante MotoGP victory in Argentina where He made a clean sweep of Pole, Fastest lap and Win. And has claimed two Poles to date.

 

Bagnaia was third with 131 points, 49 adrift and Bastianini was fourth, some 62 points back on 118. While Pramac Racing’s Johann Zarco was nipping at His Heels with 114 poits, rounding out the Top five before Austria.  

 

Guessing Y’all have Heard that Dovi’, aka Andrea Dovizioso who’d earlier announced His retirement from MotoGP at season’s end has moved His Curtain Call forward. As the upcoming San Marino GP September 4th on Home soil at Missano will be Dovi’s final race.

 

Then Yamahoper’ reserve rider Cal Crutchlow will Deputize for the remaining six rounds before the WithU Yamaha RNF Satellite squad swaps Yamaha’s for Aprilia’s next year.

 

MotoGP then gets serious with it’s final six races, beginning with a Triple Header at Motorland Aragon, Twin ring Motegi and Thailand. Then Down Under to Phillip Island and Malaysia. Before ending it’s season on November 6 at Valencia, and easily missing the upcoming FIFA World Cup in Qatar.

 

Red Bull Ring seeing Red…

Not surprisingly, Ducati – Well known for their prodigious Horsepower swept five of the first two rows six Grid positions. With the Front Row being an All Ducati affair, albeit it was “The Beast,” aka Enea Bastianini capturing His Debutante MotoGP Pole position by a scant two-Hundreds of a second ahead of Pecco Bagnaia, with Jack Miller third.

 

Points leader Fabio Quartararo split the Pramac Racing Duc’s with Jorge Martin fourth and Johann zarco sixth.

 

And while it was good news Hearing of Thee Pinball Wizard, nee Marc Mrquez’s return to the MotoGP Paddock at Spielberg.

Surely Marquez wasn’t impressed that the Quickest Honda was LCR’s Takaaki Nakagami in P14!

 

Austrian GP Race Highlights

Francesco Pecco’ Bagnaia got the perfect Hole Shot from second and never looked back! Leading Wire-to-Wire, whilst Pole sitter Enea Bastianinisoon found Himself struggling to Hold onto the Podium’s final step, having been passed by Thriller’ Miller. Soon engaged in a Mano e Mano tussle with Jorge Martin, for which these two are apparently also fighting for Miller’s Factory Ducati seat next year! But it All went Pear Shaped for Bastianini on lap-6 when Front Wheel technical issues saw The Beast riding straight into the Gravel Trap!

 

Fabio Quartararo methodically stalked the three remaining duc’ riders ahead, quickly dispatching Martin and chasing the two Factory Ducati’s ahead of Him. Before passing Jack Miller for an eventual second place finish with four laps remaining.

 

Miller and Martin fought for the final Podium place before The Martinator’ ran wide during the final lap and fell to a lowly P10, with Miller finishing third. Whilst Luca Marini led Johann Zarco across the stripe, with Aleix Espargo soldiering Home in sixth.

 

Round 13 Point Standings

Race winner Bagnaia, claiming His fith Grands Prix season victory and third in-a-row. (3rd Overall) Only trimmed five points off of His Deficit to Points leader Quartararo, trailing by 44 markers: 200-156. Aprilia’s Aliex esparago now trails Quartararo by 32 points with 168, and remains second Overall, albeit losing another 10 points.

 

Bastianini’s DNF Drops Him from fourth to sixth, now a whopping 82 points behind! While I’d say the only other two riders still mathematically in the Hunt are Johann Zarco and Jack Miller. Who find themselves P4-5, with 175 and 173 points respectively. Yet both Ducati riders  are now trailing by a distance of three race wins, which seems a pretty Hefty Deficit… 

Wednesday, August 24, 2022

Sports Cars returning to IMS for Battle of The Bricks

Where apparently Thar’ll bee More Racin’s Rubbin going on, Righto?

 

By now Y’all have Heard the News about IMSA’s WeatherTech SportsCar Championship series returning to Indianapolis Motor Speedway next year. As the Sports Cars will race at Mother Speedway on September 17, 2023 in their normal “Sprint” race duration of Two Hours and 40 minutes, before Years 2-3 will become longer Endurance events.

 

Arse-sumably in order to allow the various IndyCar Teams who’ll be running new IMSA GTP Sports Car operations, i.e.; Ganassi, Meyer Shank, Penske and Rahal Letterman Lanigan the opportunity to sprinkle some of Thar IndyCar Drivers into the

Mix.

 

As Sports Cars raced three times previously between 2012-2014 under then the Gran Am Series before becoming the United Sports Car series. As here’s what I’ve gleamed from what miniscule information’s available…

 

Brickyard Grand Prix

July 27, 2012: Grand Am, Round 9 of 13; 3hrs

July 26, 2013: Grand Am, Round 10 of 13; 3hrs

July 25, 2014: United Sports Cars, round 9 of 13; 2hr 45mins

 

2012 Brickyard Grand Prix

The inaugural Grand Am series Brickyard Grand Prix was won by somebody known here upon No Fenders as le Hamburgular’, aka Sealmeister B’, nee SeaBass’ or just plain ‘Ol Sebastien Bourdais and Alex Popow, driving the No. 2 Starworks Motorsports Riley/Ford Daytona Prototype. (DP) As the race featured nine Cautions and was run in Heavy Rain!

 

As ‘Ol Scooter’, nee Scott Pruett and Co-Driver Memo Rojas limped Thar Damaged Chip Ganassi Racing (CGR) Riley/BMW home second. With Wayne Taylor Racing’s Ricky Taylor and Max “the Ax” Angelelli finishing third aboard their #10 Corvette DP.

 

Reportedly that Montoyer’ Feller was involved in multiple incidents when liberally applying the Chrome Horn treatment to fellow competitors! As Juan Pablo Montoya, Jamie McMurray and Scott Dixon finished fourth in the #02 CGR entry.

 

Andy “The Enforcer” Lally and John Potter were victorious in the GT Class in Thar Magnus Racing Porsche 911 GT3, finishig fifth Overall.

 

And Speaking ‘O Chrome Horns, Good ‘Ol Sugar Ray Tracy’, nee PT’, or just plain Paul Tracy. Hmm, is Thar something as a “Plain” Paul Tracy, Eh? Saw Pt’ and Co-Driver Jim Lowe finishing P17 Overall and sixth in the DP Class aboard their No. 77 Dallara/ford Daytona Prototype.

 

Presumably completely overlooked was bill Lester driving aboard the #88 Autohaus Motorsports Camaro with Jordan Taylor in the GT Class. As the pair finished 14th Overall and 10th in class.

 

2013 Brickyard Grand Prix

The 2013 Brickyard Grand Pris was the final iteration under the Grand Am Sanctioning series and was won for a second year in-a-row by the Starworks Motorsports team. Alex Popow won for a second consecutive year, this time paired with Ryan Razzle Dazle’ Dalziel in the No. 2 Riley/Ford Daytona Prototype.

 

Chip Ganassi Racing once again fielded it’s two cars with the #01 Riley/BMW chauffeur by Scott Pruett and Memo Rojas, who finished Runner-up for a second consecutive outing at Mother Speedway. While the #02 was driven by Joey Hand and TK’ Follow your Schnoz! Kanaan, who finished ninth.

 

Finishing third Overall was the Gainsco/Bob Stallings Racing’s Johnny CCR’ Fogarty and Alex Gurney aboard Thar No. 99 “Red Dragon” corvette DP, Remember them Y’all? As this Duo Dominated Gran AM for awhile before vanishing from the scene…

 

Drivers of note included ‘Ol rubino’, aka Rubens Barrichello in the #77 Doran Racing Dallara/Ford (DP) finishing fifth Overall with co-Driver Doug Peterson. And Defending Race winner Sebastien Bourdais now in the No. 4 8Star Motorsports Corvette DP finishing P11.

 

The Tintops’ Gran Torismo (GT) category was won by Mad Mas Papis and Jeffry, Not Steven’ Seagal aboard the No. 61 AIM Motorsports Ferrari 458 Italia.

 

2014 Brickyard Grand Prix

The final Brickyard GP was run under the auspices of the newly formed tudor United Sports Car series moniker, the mergified Grand Am and American Le Mans Series having combined for 2014. And once again Scott Pruett must have been wondering if Thar was a curse upon Him at Mother Speedway? Since Pruett and co-Hort, Err Co-Driver Sage Karam once again finished Runner-up in the #01 CGR Riley/Ford Eco boost, Pruett’s third Runner-up finish at the Brickyard.

 

As the race was won by Joao Barbosa and Christian Fittipaldi driving the #5 Action Express Racing corvette DP entry, with Barbosa crossing the Yard ‘O Bricks just 49 seconds ahead of Pruett! While Richard “Westie” Westbrook and Michael Valiante came home third in the #90 Spirit of Daytona Racing Corvette DP.

 

Former A.J. Foyt Enterprises IndyCar driver “Union” Jack Hawksworth along with Chris Cumming won the PC class. While Jonathan Bomarito who just announced His retirement, won the GT LM (Le Mans) category with Kumo Wittner in a Factory SRT Dodge viper GTS/R and Alessandro Balzan and Jeff Westphal won the GT Daytona (GTD) category aboard their #63 Scuderia Corsa Ferrari 458 Italia. 

Monday, August 22, 2022

INDYCAR: Gateway 2022 Championship Countdown Edition

As welcome to the Podium David Malukas!

 

The NTT IndyCar Series final Oval race of the year at World Wide Technology Raceway, (WWTR) at the track that will forever simply be Gateway for Mwah. Saw 26 Cars on the Grid, with the only change being Ed Carpenter Racing’s (ECR) Boss Fast Eddie’ (Ed Carpenter) in His #33 ECR entry.

 

Friday’s First Practice session prior to qualifying saw Team Penske’s DJ WillyP’, ergo Will Power on top of the Time Sheets with a speed of 180.539mph. Followed by Chip Ganassi Racing’s (CGR) Alex Palou and Arrow McLaren SP’s (AMSP) Felix Rosenqvist, with Penske’s ScottyMac’, nee Scott McLaughlin and CGR’s Marcus Ericsson rounding out the Top-5. AMSP’s Pato O’Ward was sixth, and Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing’s Graham Rahal in seventh was the first driver below 180mph! Penske’s Josef Newgarden, Coyne-Ware Racing’s Takuma Sato and Scott Dixon completed the Top-10.

 

Interestingly, Rookie Devlin DeFrancesco led the four car Andretti Autosport train in P11,which the Kuhnuck’ backed up with His career Best Qualifying performance of 10th, second Fastest Andretti runner with a speed of 179.531mph. Whilst Fellow Rookies David Malukus (Dale Coyne Racing with HMD Motorsport) was P13 and matched that in Qualifying. A.J. foyt’s Kyle Kirkwood was P16 and 20th in Qualie’. RLLR’s Christian Lundgaard was P19 and Juncos Hollinger Racing’s Callum Ilott was P22. Which both matched later in Qualifying…

 

Qualifying

Surprisingly, Taku-san’, aka Takuma Sato was the first driver to average 180mph during Qualifying, when He jumped from a 179.9 to 180.3 to finish with a 180.048mph two lap average and will roll off P8.

 

Felix Rosenqvist, the 17th  Qualifier, with the Qualifying order being run in the inverse order of Season Points. Saw the Swede’ get loose and Spin on His first lap and will start last in P26. Although Felix managed to mostly “Save” the car and not sure if He Hit anything? Other than I know He popped one of His tires and I think He lightly Brushed the Wall?

 

Twentieth qualifier Pato O’ward knocked Sato off of the Pole with a 180.303mph  run, (7th) which was extremely short lived. Since Scott McLaughlin became the first Qualifier to eclipse 181mph for a final Qualie’ speed of 181.406mph, ultimately Qualifying fourth fastest.

 

While according to IndyCar Radio’s Michael Young, the entire track was then being Shaded in Clouds along with a Tailwind down the Straight, which pushed each of the last five Qualifiers Faster ‘N Faster!

 

Josef Newgarden’s first lap was a bit Disappointing with the recent trend of each runner going Quicker. Being only  a 180-plus lap before Josef found two miles per hour more and became the first driver to Throw Down a lap of 182mph! As Newgarden’s average Qualifying run was 181.629mph. (P3) Quickly dispersing Penske teammate McLaughlin.

 

Next up was Alex Palou, once again in the No. 10 American Legion car. Setting His Best ever Gateway Qualie’ time at 181.289mph. (5th) Before CGR teammate Scott Dixon struggled with the Handling of His #9 racecar for a two lap average of 180.954mph, winding up sixth fastest.

 

Then Marcus Ericsson raised the bar to 182.070mph (2nd) before the driver I’d predicted to win the Pole prior to Qualifying went out for His Warmup lap. As you just knew that Will Power was going to run the Gauntlet and capture His record tying 67th Pole position!

 

And even with Will Bobbling in Turns 3-4 on His first lap, it still was in the High 182’s! Before as Power told Michael Young afterwards, He’d also had an issue in Turns 1-2but knew if He kept His Foot into it, He could run a “6!” Which presumably meant 24.6-second lap. Which is exactly what will did with a 24.5782 second lap when Uncorking a Mega’ lap of 183mph-plus! And capturing Pole Number 67 with an average speed of 182.727mph. Now tied with Mario Andretti for Most IndyCar Pole positions, aye Karumba!

 

Race

From Pole, will Power led a total of 128 laps, and I Heard Mark Gravelly’ James say He’d led 104 of the first 109 laps.

 

With 43-laps remaining the Red Flag came out for Rain. And I loved ScottyMac’s Deadpan answer to Michael Young. When Young asked Him about Rainbows Down Under? Scotty said Oh Yeah, But they’re Upside Down! And the water goes Down the Drain Backwards. To which Scott Dixon played along with Young later, agreeing with McLauglin and Man, the water goes the opposite way too…

 

Two Hours, Nine minutes and 14 seconds later, the Red Flag for Rain was lifted with cars refiring engines at 7:09PM Pacific. Before the Green Flag came out four laps later at 7:13PM Pacific. For which it turned into a completely different race! As Josef Newgarden BOO! Passed ScottyMac’ for the lead and never looked back. But my eventual Driver of The Race, the unexpected David Malukas Drove round McLaughlin with just two laps remaining to finish Runner-up for His Debutante IndyCar Podium!

 

As originally Pato O’ward was going to be my Driver of The Race since I just kept saying Stones! After O’Ward pulled off another of His ultra Daring Passes upon DJ WillyP’ for the lead of the race! (Pre Red Flag) As O’Ward was simply amazing during this race, and it’s a Shame that He and Power both struggled after the Red Flag restart with Thar Flinstone’ tyres being Done Used Up! As Pato would have to settle for P4 while Malukas’s teammate Takuma Sato slipped past Power for fifth. And Power only just Holds onto His Points lead over Newgarden by the three Bonus Points He claimed for winning Pole and leading the most laps!

 

Of the other Championship Contendahs’, Marcus Ericsson led Scott Dixon and Alex Palou Home in a three car CGR Freight train, P7-8-9 respectively.

 

2022 Point Standings

1) Will Power: 482

2) Josef Newgarden: 479, -3

3) Scott Dixon: 468, -14

4) Marcus Ericsson: 465, -17

5) Alex Palou: 439, -43

6) Scott McLaughlin: 428, -54

7) Pato O’Ward: 424, -58

 

Shout Out to Devlin DeFrancesco who scored His career Best finish in 12th. While Kyle Kirkwood finished P17, one place ahead of A.J. Foyt enterprises teammate Dalton Kellett. And Christian Lundgaard finished a disappointing 19th.

 

2022 Rookies Point Standings

1. (15th) Christian Lundgaard: 283

2. (16th) David Malukas: 272, -11

(Overall Point Standings) 

Tuesday, August 16, 2022

INDYCAR: Calamity Jane’ visits Nashville Again!

Like Josef Newgarden told a pouting Romain Grosjean after their Argie Bargie which saw Grosjean getting Knocked Offtrack. “Welcome to IndyCar, it Get’s A bit Tight!”

 

 

 

 

Otay, I need a Beer! As it feels like I’ve been doing nothing but typing ‘N typing the past few weeks “Contiguously!” Hmm, may be that’s why my Sciatica’s acting up? Oh Never Mind!

 

But with All of the Nonstop Madness revolving round Planet McLaren, albeit more specifically a one Mr. Zakery Brown! Not to mention what many have taken to calling Crashville! Hence I’m taking the rest of the week off here upon No Fenders.

 

Where to begin, Y’all? As I simply will Not attempt recapping the entire Music City Grand Prix! Especially since apparently Thar are Folks on Social Media complaining about It being another Shit show! For which All I can say, is what do you expect from a Temporary Street Circuit on the ultra Confined Streets of Downtown Nashville, Eh?

 

For a second day in-a-row, when tuning into IndyCar Radio at High Noon Pacific, which should have been a Clue, Hya! Once again we were in a Race Delay due to more Lightning Strikes! For which at least this time Mark Gravelly’ James informed us of this at the start of the intended Pre-race programme, before He and Davey Hamilton attempted keeping us entertained. And then finally playing the first 15+ laps of last year’s race, which should have been an Omen of What was to come!

 

Whenever I Hear of an IndyCar race being Delayed for Lightning, I immediately think of the one time Up North eh! At the 2010 Edmonton IndyCar race where we Had to not only leave the Aluminum Grandstands, but Exit the Circuit due to Lightning since there wasn’t Any place for suitable shelter! Which must have been Qualifying Day since I vaguely recall us just going “Home” for the day. Along with remembering how the Kuhnaidiun’ Air forces

F-18 Fighter Jet doing Fly overs would set off everybody’s Car Alarms each day at the nearby Train Station! But I digress…

 

By my very unofficial time keeping, the race was Delayed One Hour and 43mins, with the Green Flag flying at 2:13PM Pacific. And then as we All know, the ensuing Carnage began. Or what the Speed Freaks Stattmann coined as Carnage Poluzah!

 

Since I think it was only five minutes later when on lap-8 Alexander Rossi’s car suddenly lost drive and brought out the first of our eventual eight Gory Full course Cautions!

 

Personally I like the series racing at Nashville, and especially like it’s signature crossing of a Bridge over the Cumberland River. Yet I have Zero Clue if Anything can be done to widen what seems an overly narrow layout thru it’s Concrete Canyons.

 

But then again, I suppose Toronto’s tight too, Eh? Which is simply the nature of temporary Street Circuts. Not to mention the potentially impending building of the new Tennessee Titans Stadium being located in the current Paddock…

 

Whilst I’d have to say that the Shit Show happening coming On/Off the Bridge, being the only “Overly” long Straights reminds me of a Formmula 1 Street Circuit called Baku…

 

As for the race, I’ve already mentioned the eight Cautions, along with one unnecessary Green-White “Checkers or Wreckers!” Uhm Red Flag! For a total of 36 laps, just four Shy of Half of the race, Yikes! Along with the fact that only 13 of the 26 Cars entered finished ther race, which equals a staggering 50%!

 

Thus Y’all know that thee Iceman 2.0’, aka Scott Dixon managed to nurse His Heavily Damaged racecar from a lowly P14 starting position to winning His 53rd IndyCar race at Nashville. Giving Him sole possession of being the series second winningest IndyCar Driver behind only A.J. Foyt’s 67 career IndyCar victories.

 

Even more impressive was how Dixon and longtime Strategist Mike Hull elected to Not change tyres and run the last 40-plus laps on a single set of Firestones! Since I tend to recall that Dixon’s Crew known as the “Wolfpack” had trouble changing them previously? Or perhaps that was when they were repairing the wounded racecar, since believe I Heard that Dixon made a total of six Pitstops!

 

Pole sitter ScottyMac’, nee Scott McLaughlin chased His Kiwi’ Idol to the stripe for second place by a scant whisker! And Alex Palou soldiered home third after running the latter Half of the race with a Broken left Front wing!

 

Know at one point Thar were 12 Cars involved in a Pile-up leading to another Yuhs guessed it, Full Course Caution! As believe it was Palou who Hit Will Power and damaged His Gearshift sensor. As Power eventually Faded to a subpar 11th place finish.

 

Whilst I suppose Graham Rahal needs mentioning for the wrong reason. As Graham Crashed three times before retiring! With the worst being when Punting Pato O’Ward and damaging the Mexican’s gearbox, ergo Game Over! With Pato finishing a lowly P24. And I could go On ‘N On, but You get the Gist, Eh?

 

As fortunately we take a week Off before going to the season’s final Oval at WWT Raceway, nee Gateway, where there’ll probably be more Carnage…

 

2022 Point Standings

1) Will Power: 450

2) Scott Dixon: 444, -6

3) Marcus Ericsson: 438, -12

4) Josef Newgarden: 428, -22

5) Alex Palou: 417, -33

6) Scott McLaughlin: 392, -58

7) Pato O’Ward: 391, -59

 

Meanwhile the Top two Rookies saw promising finishes go awry. Since thought I read that RLLR’s Christian Lundgaard who leads the Rookie Of the Year (ROY) standings, saw Him Fade from second to eighth during that Green-White Checkers, Yeehaw! While Vanna I wanna Buy a vowel! Uhm, Dale Coyne Racing with HMD Motorsports David Malukas was unnecessarily Punted Off by an Over Aggressive Kyle Kirkwood! With Malukas finishing an unwarranted P20.

 

2022 Rookies Point Standings

1. (15th) Christian Lundgaard: 272

2. (17th) David Malukas: 231, -41

(Overall Point Standings)

 

And like my two favourite Hosers’ from the Great white North Bob & Doug McKenzie would say. That Beer’s done! And I definitely need a Break from Ye Keyboard. So Take Off Eh! 

Monday, August 15, 2022

IndyCar Continues making Noise in the Music city upon return

Although Thunder ‘N Lightning put a Damper upon Qualifying and the Race…

 

Thanks to unexpectedly having Friday afternoon Free, I elected to “Dial Up,” err Tune-in to Friday’s First IndyCar Practice session from the Music City via IndyCar Radio on Ye Intrawoods’. (Internet) With the only change on the IndyCar Grid for Nashville being the welcome return of Beth Paretta’s partnership with Ed Carpenter Racing (ECR) seeing Symona-Symona’, aka Simona de Silvestro aboard Her #16 Paretta Autosport entry.

 

Practice

On top of the Timesheets Friday Was   Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing’s Christian Lundgaard, with the Dane’ setting a time of 1:15.9659. Arrow McLaren SP’s Felix Rosenqvist was second, just some two-plus tenths behind, followed by Dale Coyne Racin wit HMD Motorsports David Malukas third.

 

Team Penske’s ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin led the Penske trio in fourth, with Josef Newgarden fifth and Will Power seventh.

 

Alexander Rossie led the way for Andretti Autosport in sixth, with colton Herta P8 and Romain Grosjean 10th. While the top Ganassi Driver was Alex Palou in ninth. Marcus Ericsson was P11 and Scott Dixon 16th.

 

Others getting off to a good start were Meyer Shank Racing’s Simon Pagenaud P12. Followed by Juncos Hollinger Racing’s Callum Ilott, who was one place ahead of Pato O’Ward. And A.J. foyt Enterprises Kyle Kirkwood was a promising P17.

 

Saturday’s second Practice session got off with a Bang! As Ed Carpenter Racing’s (ECR) Rinus VeeKay Smacked the Wall just seconds after the session going Green! Mangling His Nosecone and limping back to the Pits. As IndyCar Radio’s Mark Gravelly’ James took the words right outta my mouth, later noting how VeeKay’s re-signing with ECR wasn’t putting a Spring into His Step, or the team’s. As Conor Daly & VeeKay were P21-22; with Paretta Autosport’s teammate Simona de Silvestro 25 during Friday’s 75mins practice session.

 

And the three ECR entries fared little better Saturday, with VeeKay, Daly and de Silvestro P22-24 respectably.

 

Yet Rinus wasn’t the only driver seeing Nashville’s Concrete Canyon Up close ‘N Personal. As Graham Rahal had a similar incident, albeit managing to reverse out of the tyre barrier. Colton Herta spun on track and Rosenqvist mated the left side of His Dallara against the Jersey Barriers!

 

Team Penske flexed Thar Muscles sweeping the Top Three spots Saturday morning wit McLaughlin ahead of Newgarden and Power. Fourth was Rossi, followed by Kirkwood, Rosenqvist, Grosjean, Herrta, Lundgaard and Malukas rounding out the Top 10.

 

McLaughlin’s time of 1:15.4609 was marginally faster than Lundgaard’s Friday time. While I’m afraid that Kirkwood’s P5 is an Outlier since teams only got to run on the brand new Green Sidewall “Guacamole” Alternate Firestone tyres Friday. Thus Saturday’s practice was run solely on the Black primary rubber, so we’ll see how this translates to Qualie’.

 

As believe it was Mark James noting it was scottyMac’ who came up with the Guacamole nickname…

 

The other title Contendah’s positions saw Scott Dixon leading a three car Congo line in 11th. Followed by Palou and O’Ward P12-13 respectably, with Ericsson an uncharacteristic P19.

 

Qualifying

Tuning in at 1:25PM Pacific, when Thar should have been five minutes until Qualifying started. Instead my Confuzer Speakers started playing the muted tunes of Sid Collins calling another Indy 500. As I thought Oh Shit, Here we Go Again! Before checking the official IndyCar website to learn that a Thunder ‘N Lightning Storm had rolled tru Downtown Nashville and we were in a Holding pattern due to the multiple nearby lightning strikes. So I listened to Sid Collins calling what had to be the 1975 Indianapolis 500 instead, since somebody interviewed SuperMario’, nee Mario Andretti in the #21. As Mario Had Crashed on the Backstretch and seemed totally Befuddled over what Had Happened?

 

As Mario did indeed drive the Vels Parnelli Jones #21 viceroy Eagle/Offenhauser in the 1975 Indy 500…

 

Qualifying finally began 90mins late and was immediately interrupted by a Ref Flag brought out by Devlin DeFrancesco. Next Colton Herta Overcooked a Corner into the Tyre Barrier and brought out a second Red Flag in Round One’s Group One session with One minute remaining, catching many drivers out – including a Fuming Rossi, Rosenqvist, etc. As Dalton Kellett had wisely gone out early and set a Quick time to surprisingly advance to the Fast 12 round.

 

DJ willyP’ Spun and brought out a Yellow Flag during the Fast 12 shootout, finishing P8 and sharing Row 4 of the Grid with David Malukas. Whilst Palou was the only Ganassi driver to advance to the Fast Six Shootout. With Dixon and Ericsson a disappointing P14, P18 respectably.

 

And like I expected, Kyle Kirkwood failed to advance out of His Round One, group-1 Qualie’ session, winding up P16, albeit No idea if this was due to being caught up in the multiple Red flags or His racecar Not liking the Firestone “guacamole” Alternate rubber? While rinus VeeKay rebounded by Qualifying 10th.

 

The Fast Six was probably the most diverse in awhile, with five teams in the mix, with only Penske having two drivers in the Shootout. As the driver who’s been Red Hot this weekend Stormed to His second Pole of the year, as Nobody could catch Scott McLaughlin.

 

Andretti’s Romain Grosjean was closest in second with RLLR’s Christian Lundgaard third. Alex Palou was a distant fourth, saying He Didn’t have anything left for Pole. While Row-3 features Arrow McLaren SP’s Pato O’Ward and Josef Newgarden. 

Saturday, August 13, 2022

INDYCAR: Brickyard GP Postmortem

Like Dude, that race was so long Ago! And it don’t even register after Crashville’, Yeehaw!

 

Wasn’t originally planning on scribblin’ about this here on No Fenders, but thought Thar was a few Nuggets to share…

 

Not until a few days following the Brickyard Weekend’s IndyCar race,

August 3rd Me Thinks? We were made privy to the fact that Alexander Rossi’s winning #27 Andretti Autosport Dallara/Honda entry had Failed Post-race Tech Inspection. Specifically being underneath the minimum 1,700lb weight limit when the car’s Drinks’ (water) bottle was removed from the chassis. Which Racer’s Marshall Pruett claims can weigh between 2-3lbs, for which teams typically make up by adding extra Ballast. Typically somewhere in the range of 5-7lbs.

 

Although IndyCar also deemed Rossi’s car to Not be under the minimum weight during the race, they were unwilling to publicly divulge how much the car had failed Post-race tech inspection by. To which Pruett speculates that the chassis had to be somewhere between 1,697-1,699 pounds in order to trigger this infraction. And that somebody made an unintended mistake on calculating extra ballast needed. Thus Andretti Autosport was docked $25,000 and 20 entrant points. While Rossi was also docked 20 points, dropping one place in the standings to ninth, one point behind Arrow McLaren SP’s Felix Rosenqvist; who’ll potentially be teammates next year…

 

Arse-sumedly due to the fact that Justin B-I-G Unit’ Wilson was my Numero Uno IndyCar Driver for several years until His untimely Death. I still remember Wilson’s winning the 2012 Texas Motor Speedway IndyCar race where subsequently Dale Coyne Racing (DCR) was penalized following their victory for having more Downforce than Allowed. Although IndyCardid Not take the win away from DCR! Instead it took away five points from Wilson and fined Coyne $7,500 for having unapproved parts on Wilson’s sidepods.

 

For which I remember more Dario Franchitti’s, who I was calling Dashley Lepew at the time’s ridiculous comment. With Dario Whining loudly about He’d Happily Cut Off an Appendage to make up for the amount of Downforce Justin had precieveably Had an Advantage of during that race…

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2012/06/may-be-ganassi-should-add-sazzall-to.html

 

Tyres’ R Us…

Although Not trying to take Anything Away from Jessica Mace’s accomplishment of going over the Wall as Alexander Rossi’s right Rear tyer changer during His Brickyard GP victory, for which I say congrats to Jessica! It’s worth noting, since I Don’t wish to Call Out my current No. 1 Pit Reporter by name, but! If He’d read to the bottom of Marshall Pruett’s article…

 

Then He would have known that the Unheralded, and I’d say totally unknown Tess Gape was the first Female Tyre Changer to go Over the Wall on a winning IndyCar entry. With Gape doing so on the winning entry Wayback in Gory Ought-three on The Dude’s! Aka Ryan Hunter-Reay’s American Spirit Team Johansson Reynard 02i Cosworth racecar down Under at surfers Paradise Mates!  

 

 https://racer.com/2022/08/02/why-rossis-ims-win-was-one-for-the-history-books/

 

It’s A Mad, Mad World!

C’mon Y’all, Sing it Along with me. It’s A Mad world After all. It’s A Mad World After All!

 

As think I’m gonna start calling Zak Brown thee Mad Hatter! Since it was just prior to Toronto, that ‘lil race Up North Eh! When some Ganassi v Palou lawsuit was making thunder claps, remember that Y’all? That apparently it was quietly learned that Felix Rosenqvist contrary to popular belief, is Not under Contract at Arrow McLaren SP, Uhm McLaren Racing for 2023! Which Pruett reportd just days prior to Nashville.

 

Despite the fact that Zakery Brown and McLaren put out a press release on June 23 proclaiming that Felix was “Off the Market,” being signed for McLaren next year. Just not knowing if the Swede would be in IndyCar or Formula E next year, Rosenqvist is actually Available next year…

 

 

Which just seems like it was an overly “Clever” Diversionary tactic being deployed by thee Mad Hatter and McLaren in order to trykeeping Rosenqvist in the Fold while knowing the Shit was gonna Hit the Fan over Alex Palou’s “Poaching!” For which All I can say is Smoke On! 

Friday, August 12, 2022

INDYCAR: Mother Speedway Smiles on Alexander Rossi

As it’s good Having A Beaming Rossi Smiling again from atop the Podium…

 

Don’t know ‘bout Y’all, but this current stretch of the IndyCar season feels like the Fast and furious to me, and I Never thought I’d use that analogy! As I’ve already scribbled some preliminary thoughts here upon No Fenders prior to the second Indy Road Course’s Brickyard GP Qualie’ session.

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2022/07/indycar-catching-up-on-ims-road-course.html

  

In Marshall Pruett’s typical fashion,

It was entertaining Hearing How Appalled He was over IndyCar being treated like the Red Headed Step Sister at IMS over the Brickyard Double Header Roundy Round’ weekend! With Marshall noting How Weird it’s having IndyCar being the Undercard of the Undercard of the Undercard! And How they’re literally by the Shitters! i.e.; Turn 1 Honey Buckets which He proclaimed in His Racer Friday Morning Indy GP Report video.

 

https://racer.com/2022/07/29/video-friday-morning-indy-gp-report/

 

The Best News of the entire weekend was that Josef Newgarden was Cleared to compete in all IndyCar Activities and passed both of His Concussion Protocol tests Thursday-Friday!

 

And you have to say it’s Funny how Newgarden seemingly was “Glued” to His good buddy DJ WillyP’s  Gearbox, with All three Penske Drivers in Round One’s Group 1 Qualie’ session, with Power and Newgarden winding up P4-5 respectively at Day’s end…

 

Biggest News had to be Felix Rosenqvist, the Forgotten Arrow McLaren SP Driver winning the Pole position! Not to mention how estatic Pato O’Ward was qualifying third. Along with O’Ward enthusing How Happy He was for Felix to be on Pole, saying He definitely Deserves to Stay in IndyCar! And How Rosenqvist’s the right type of Driver as a teammate, who’s totally Transparent, which is what you need in a teammate! Which the media took as a vailed swipe at the possibility of Alex Palou landing at AMSP next year…

 

Great interview with David Malukas by Marshall Pruett after Qualifying, where Malukas “Kidded” about liking to Have Brakes on a Road course! Claiming He’d had No Front Breaks during the Fast 12 Knockout phase, noting how His Brake pressure PSI was almost Half of what they normally have!

 

As Malukas has His work cut out keeping up with Christian Lundgaard in the Rookie Of the Year (ROY) Battle. As Lundgaard made His first Fast Six Shootout appearance of the year, finishing sixth, one year from making His Shock Debut when Qualifying P4 at the same race.

 

Whilst is it just Mwah? But have Y’all noticed how Chip Ganassi Racing isn’t running IndyCar title sponsor NTT Data on it’s #10 entry now. Since I know that Alex Palou ran with American Legion on His car at Iowa’s Race-2 and on the IMS Road Course. With the Spaniard being Cheep’s Highest Qualifying entry in P7.

 

Rossi Finally claims another W’

Although this race was definitely not as Wet ‘N wooly as the “Guns ‘N Roses” Indy GP in May. Nonetheless the first lap weren’t Pretty! As I think it was Colton Herta who bumped into Will Power, who in turn Spun Out a Hapless Pato o’Ward! With the duo dropping to the tail end of the grid.

 

Cannot remember what the first Caution was for? But DJ WillyP’ used this to Help go forwards from P16 with O’Ward also making up places. And the day just got worse for Arrow McLaren SP, as Pole Sitter Felix Rosenqvist just dropped like a rock and ultimately limped home ninth.

 

Alexander Rossi who’d started second, tried making a late breaking pass upon Roseqvist for the lead going into Turn-1 but wasn’t successful. This caused Rossi to drop into the clutches of Andretti Autosport teammate Colton Herta who made an easy pass upon Him and looked set to motor off into the Sunset enroute to victory.

 

Yet Herta pounded the Infield Kerbing too Hard on lap 42 and suddenly lost drive to His car, limping slowly to Pitlane before retiring and Rossi Never looked back after! As I love how All of the media pointed out it had been 1,133 Gory Days and 49 races since Rossi last won over three years ago at Road America! (June 23, 2019)

 

With Racer’s Marshall Pruett cheekily noting in His Post-race video that Rossi’s Happy and Smiling today, but He’ll find something to be Grumpy about tomorrow, Hya!

 

Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing’s Rookie Christian Lundgaard spent All day in the top sic, and much of the end of the race in second, where the Dane’ finished, scoring His maiden IndyCar Podium. Coupled  with David Malukas’s 13th place finish; Lungaard once again increases His rookie Of the Year (ROY) points lead to +27. (248-221)

 

And although Will Power didn’t have anything for the first two finishers, ‘Ol DJ WillyP’ wily sauntered home P3, leading a three car Team Penske Freight train across the Yard ‘O Bricks. As ScottyMac’ (Scott McLaughlin) got around teammate Josef Newgarden with the Kiwi finishing fourth and Newgarden P5.

 

As Newgarden should be content losing only two points in the title fight, while McLauglin clings to an outside chance some 81 markers adrift…

 

Scott Dixon who was boiling after qualifying a lowly 20th, led CGR’s Quartet Home with a  Quiet eighth place finish, two places ahead of Alex Palou. With Marcus Ericsson making an impressive recovery drive from last to P11. As the Swede lost His Points lead to Power and now trails by nine markers.

 

Ericsson finished one position ahead of O’Ward, with the Mexican tenaciously staying in the Championship Hunt. As next up is Nashville, (Round 14) where ericsson’s the Defending Race winner, and Anything can Happen…

 

2022 Point Standings

1) Will Power: 431

2) Marcus Ericsson: 422, -9

3) Josef Newgarden: 399, -32

4) Scott Dixon: 393, -38

5) Pato O’Ward: 385, -46

6) Alex Palou: 379, -52 

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Another “Spin ‘N win!” A Rooskie’ tries Cup, A yank’ Wins Again and Kimi to sample Watkins Glen

Although No idea if thee Iceman’ will try an Ice Cream from the Concession Stands in Upstate New York?

 

Have to say it was a very entertaining weekend from Mother Speedway,. Since originally I had No intentions of Tuning into the premiere Taxicab bombers race on Indianapolis Motor speedway’s Infield Road Course. Which I only caught snippets of, part of Stage 2 and mostly the end of the race…

 

What I enjoyed most was the Host of “New Guard” Names at the Sharp end of the Grid. With the likes of Tyler Reddic, Christopher Bell, A.J. Allmendinger, Ross Chastain and Austin Cindric being Called Out. And How ‘bout that Allmendinger, Eh?

 

As still Don’t think Racing Drivers are Athletes? As Allmendinger not only ran out of (Drinking) water, but His Cool Suit malfunctioned! With ambient temperature in the 80’s, and the track surface Bakin’ at over 100deg-F. To which NASCAR Truck series winner and NBC Pit Reporter Parker Kligerman said it had Happened to Him previously and it’s like wearing a Garbage Bag underneath your Firesuit, Youza!

 

 

As I was Rootin’ for the unlikely Sweeping of the weekend by ‘Ol A.J. who got as far up as second before fading to finish seventh. With Allmendinger basically Falling out of His car from Heat exhaustion as soon as the race ended! But was checked and Cleared by IMS Medical Staff afterwards.

 

Kligerman had His own issues the day prior when suffering a Brake failure during the Xfinity race that Allmendinger won. To which Kyle Larson’s Brake failure Sunday was also Scary with His 3,500lb Stock Car getting All four wheels off Terra firma when clouting a Hapless Ty gibbs! Who was Substituting for Kurt Busch, in the car Reddick will “Inherit” in 2024.

 

As Reddick who started from Pole, led the most laps and won His second NASCAR race of the season for RCR, while Chastain was ultimately penalized for “Cleverly” using the Access Road to enable Him to navigate Turn-1 where All of the Roundy Round Boyz’ were trying Ah-Mighty to be the last of the Great, late Brakers!

 

 

Was super Cornfuzed Saturday when Hearing somewhere the news that a Formula 1 Driver would be starting the Big Boyz’ Cup race Sunday, Huh? I didn’t think that Kimi the Original “Iceman” Raikkonen was making His Cup Debut until Watkins Glen? Only to discover late Saturday evening that it was Russian ex-Formula 1 driver Daniil Kvyat “They” were talking about.

 

As Kvyat who last race for Scuderia AlphaTauri at the 2020 season ending Abu Dhabi Grand Prix was making His Stock Car Debut for the Minnowesqe Team Hezeberg, who I’ve only heard briefly about earlier this year. When Jacques Villeneuve made His Debut in the Big Show when Qualifying His way into the Daytona 500 on Speed…

 

As Kvyat said it was definitely interesting driving the latest Gen-X generation Cup Car. Obviously completely different and at the total opposite of the spectrum compared to F1!

 

As Daniil Qualified the team’s second entry, it’s #26 Toy-Yoter’ Camry 36th, which is where I believe He finished enroute to becoming the first Russian to contest a NASCAR Cup race.

 

The  team’s primary Cup entry, the #27 Team Hezeberg Ford Mustang GT was driven by Dutch racer Loris Hezemans, son of Team Co-Owner Toine Hezemans. As Loris hasn’t been cleared to drive upon the Superspeedway’s, Hence why Jacques was racing at Day-Toner’.

 

And Speaking ‘O Dutchies’, I was so surprised over Max Verstappen not only coming from an uncharacteristic P10 Qualie’ result, before Gobblin’ up the Competizione and ultimately passing race leader Charles Leclerc’s Ferrari not once, but twice! As Verstappen made a lazy 360-degrees Spin after passing the Monegasce the first time for the lead. Hit nothing, resuming His charge for the lead again before motoring to His 28th Formula 1 victory!

 

As all I could think of was ‘Ol Hollywood’, aka Danny sullivan’s memorable “Spin ‘N Win” nearly some 40 Odd years ago at the 1985 Indianapolis 500! Making me somewhat embarrassed that I momentarily couldn’t recall who’d won the prior day’s

IndyCar race when talking on the phone, Aye Karumba!

 

As sorry Rossi, who I’ve been a Fan of for a long time. But as the media lamented, it had been an excruciatingly long 1,133 Days and 49 races since Alexander Rossi had won His last IndyCar race! As All I could figure is that it’s been so long since I’ve Heard Rossi’s name in the winner’s circle. Along with being mesmerized by Max Headroom’s performance, that I had temporary “Some-timers,” Sorry Alexander!

 

Another name I hadn’t Heard mentioned in a longtime was Joey Hand’s, who was chauffeuring the #15 Rick Ware Racing (RWR) Ford Mustang GT. As Joey’s a prolific Sports Car racer who’s Stock Car transition makes me think of Andy The Enforcer’ Lally. While the second #51 RWR Ford was being driven by Cody Ware, Remember Him Y’all?

 

Finally, Yes! Kimi and His Oomphlats’ will be contesting this year’s RASSCAR’ round at Watkins glen International Raceway August 21st.

With Kimi suitably impressed by Justin Marks flying to His Switzerland Home to inquire if thee Iceman’ would be interested in contesting a Roundy Round race for His team? As Marks and Entertainer Pitbull are Co-Owners of the Trackhouse Racing Team that fields entries for Ross Chastain and Daniel Suarez. As Trackhouse acquired the former chip Ganassi Racing NASCAR Operation in order to secure two NASCAR Franchises, Err Charters.

 

As Raikkonen will make His Cup Debut behind the wheel of the team’s third #91 Chevrolet Camaro for Trackhouse’s Project 91 effort, the team’s initiative to expand Internationally, albeit Kimi’s drive is just a “One Off” this season. As the team Hopes to run it’s #91 entry again in the future, but not until 2023…

 

Whilst we could potentially See two F1 Drivers racing Taxicabs at Watkins Glen? Since Daniil Kvyat is also interested in running The Glen and the Charlotte Roval. Damn, I might have to watch another Cup race, Yikes!