Showing posts with label Awards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Awards. Show all posts

Thursday, January 15, 2026

Golden Tailpipe Awards: The 2025 Streamliner edition



“Does Anybody know What Time it Is? Does Anybody really Care?” And will we ever see this racecar livery again? (The Tomaso Collection)

 

Yeah, it’s that time ‘O year again, Yuhs know. Uhm, when I subject Y’all to mor of my witty repartee from thoust Mystical Isle of Nofendersville with my End of Year Overall Winners selections, Mateys! Which Y'all Clearly look forward to, Man Overboard!

 

As Here goes Nothin', with another Bevy 'O totally Un-Scientific, Nonsensical, Zany “First Take” Off Ye Cuff selections made below….

 

While Y’all can Compare ‘N contrast these choices with last year’s No Fenders selections in the following link.

 

Golden Tailpipe Awards: The 2024 Streamliner edition

 

CATEGORIES

1. Racer of Year

Winner: Alex Palou

Initially chose Circus Maximus for this award, but I’m biased towards IndyCar. Not to mention that Maxwell Silver Hammer Done gone Bang-Bang upon Curious George (Russell) at Barcelona erased this platitude for Verstappen…

 

As how could I go against Alex Palou who simply had a “Magical” season. In what very easily could have been an insane 10 races won! With the exception of making a Uber’ rare mistake at Mid-Ohio, gifting Scott Dixon His lone W’ of the season. Along with that late race caution at Milwaukee. Enabling Christian Rasmussen to role the dice with new Flintstone rubber and storm past Palou…

 

Yet the affable Spaniard claimed six poles and eight wins enroute to His third consecutive Championship title, and fourth overall. Finishing with 13 podiums, 14 Top-5 and 15 Top-10 finishes. And a four race wins points advantage over runner-up Pato O’Ward, Youza!

 

Other Choices

Max Verstappen, Marc Marquez, Lando Norris, et Al.

 

2. Story of Year

Winner: Team Penske Attenuator-gate’

This has to be the biggest story of the year, with everyone already knowing about Team Penske caught cheating, again! And while I applaud Doug Boles fairly significant penalties, I still think they should have been thrown out! Although I guess being placed P32-33 and given the final two pit stalls is adequate…

 

Won’t try re-hashing this, since we also know about Tim Cindric, Ron Ruzewski and Kyle Moye all being fired; Team Penske’s top three members. As it’ll be interesting to “see” how Team Penske responds in it’s upcoming 60th year celebration during 2026. And if Cindric is rightly honoured?

 

Vice Champion: NASCAR Anti-Trust lawsuit

Sneaking in on Dec 11th, NASCAR capitulated, and settled the Anti-Trust lawsuit filed by 23/XI and Front Row Racing, over the “Take It or Leave It” Charter renewal. With NASCAR giving teams only six hours on a Friday evening to sign the 112 page document. As it sounds like it was a win for the teams for once, after protracted two years of fruitless negotiations. But since I don’t follow Roundy-Round, I don’t know the specifics of the deal, or how it impacts the future? Other than we can simply go racin’ again, wisely ahead of the Mac Daddy Day-Toner’ 500…

 

Other Choices

Christian Horner’s Firing from Red bull, Will Power’s Dismissal from Team Penske, Helmut Marco leaving red Bull.

 

3. Race of Year

Winner: Petit Le Mans

Another sentimental choice, since how else could I revel over Aston Martin’s Valkyrie finishing runner-up at season’s end? Not to mention some purple Dragon winning it’s LMP2 class’s Championship, or a fitting sendoff to Steven Thomas’s retirement. In what was another typical ten hours “Nailbiter”.

 

With the fan favourite shrieking Cossie’ V-12 lump’ bolting the Valkyrie into unfathomable competition for an upset W’, before finishing 5.1 seconds behind the winning No. 31 Whelen Cadillac. Along with the Lamborghini’s SC63 toying with a podium finish in what is likely it’s final race. Before finishing fourth, it’s best finish to date…

 

Other Choices

Sao Paolo Grand Prix, Milwaukee, Gateway, MotoGP French GP

 

4. Sportsperson of Year

Winner: Jamie Chadwick

Once again, Jamie Chadwick wins this award, based on Her winning three races in the European Le Mans Series (ELMS) championship with co-drivers Daniel Juncadella and Mathys Jaubert. With both being promoted to the Genesis Magma Racing’s “Weckity Wec” Hypercar entry for 2026.

 

As the trio finished third overall in the LMP2 category. And I sincerely hope Chadwick will get the nod for a seat in IMSA GTP in 2027! And that other Femme Fatales get fulltime rides in Motor Racing…

 

Other Choices

Brittany Force, Erica Enders, Dorion Pim, Katherine Legge

 

5. Hard Charger of year

Winner: Shane Van Gisbergen

Kiwi’ Bad Arse racer Shane Van Gisbergen won the Supercars title three times, i.e.; 2016, 2021-22, whilst finishing runner-up to compatriot ScottyMac’, ergo Scott McLaughlin in 2018. With The Gis’ scoring 80 wins Down Under before setting His sights upon new horizons.

 

Van Gisbergen shocked the NASCAR Cup community when winning upon debut at Chicago in 2023. Becoming the first rookie driver to win upon debut since Lone Star JR’, aka Johnny Rutherford in 1963. Along with being the first “Road ringer” to win on debut since Mark Donohue in 1973, Aye Karumba!

 

Following a partial Cup campaign during 2024, The Gis’ ran His rookie Full season for Trackhouse Racing aboard their No. 88 entry in 2025.

 

Van Gisbergen set a new rookie record for most wins in a season with five. Surpassing Tony Stewart and Jimmie Johnson holding the record with three apiece previously.

 

Even more impressive was that Van Gisbergen made the Playoffs in His rookie season. Thanks to scoring five consecutive road course wins, beginning at Mexico City. Followed by wins at Chicago, Sonoma, Watkins Glen and Charlotte’s Roval.

 

Shane will drive the No. 97 Trackhouse Racing entry this year alongside rookie teammate Connor Zilisch (No. 88) and Ross Chastain. (No. 1) And has signed a multi-year extension which keeps Him in Cup thru the 2027 season.

 

Other Choices

Dennis Hauger, Denny Hamlin, Marco Bezzecchi, Tony Stewart, Brock Feeney 

Monday, January 12, 2026

Golden Tailpipe Awards: The 2025 Streamliner edition, Positions 6-9

Otay Kiddoes', it's that time 'O year again, when I cap off another long, meandering past year's storytelling from thou Isle of Nofendersville, with my Zany End of Year Overall Winners selections…

 

As Y’all know thou Drill here upon Ye Isle ‘O Nofendersville, where the Nights are long and the Days spent type-type-typing Away Way too Mucho on thoust Keyboard! Alas, Once again it’s another long form No Fenders Two part Harmony, Err meandering prose for your consideration

 

As Here goes Nothin', with another Bevy 'O totally Un-Scientific, Zany Random Off Ye Cuff selections made below…

 

CATEGORIES

Rider of The Year, Sports Car Drivers of The Year, Freak of The Year and Quip of The Year

 

6. Rider of Year

Winner: Marco Bezzecci

Funny how I really don’t know anything about this ultimate Kneedragger’. Yet the 27yr old Italian celebrated His birthday in classico style by winning His third MotoGP Grand Prix of the season at Valencia complete with birthday cake and candles!

 

Although Bezzecchi tied with Alex Marquez for second most season wins, with three apiece. Even though Marquez “Jnr” rides for the satellite Gresini squad, and finished second overall vs. Bezzecchi’s third. Gresini do have the superior Ducati Desmosedici GP25 under Thar’ saddles.

 

Thus Bezzecchi gets the nod for riding a non Ducati Scooter’, along with winning three times for the Factory Aprilia outfit, where reigning MotoGP Champion Jorge Martin was supposed to lead the charge, Ole!

 

Other Choices

Alex Marquez, Fabio Quartararo, Pedro Acosta, and Duh! Ye Pinball Wizar, aka Marc Marquez…

 

7. Sports Car Drivers of Year

Winner: Roman De Angelis, Ross Gunn and Alex Riberas

This choice could go to several drivers like Romain Grosjean for wringing the neck out of the Lamborghini SC63, etc. As guessing you could make a case for most of the IMSA GTP drivers, Eh?

 

Chose to give the nod to The Heart Of Racing’s (THOR) regular season drivers Roman De Angelis and Ross Gunn, since the Aston Martin THOR Valkyrie was at a deficit the entire season, playing catch-up upon it’s maiden campaign in the IMSA GTP category. Having missed the Rolex 24 for fears of reliability, and the added pressure of racing round the clock twice.

 

Yet this duo, with the addition of third Endurance driver Alex Riberas worked wonders with the crowd favourite shrieking Cossie’ (Cosworth) 6.5-liter normally aspirated V-12. Scoring it’s maiden podium finish at the season finale 10 hours Petit Le Mans with a fabulous second place finish!

 

Other Choices

Jack “Achey Breaky” Aitken, Earl Bamber and Frederik Vesti, Dane Cameron and PJ Hyett, and I suppose Mathieu Jaminet and Matt Campbell

 

8. Freak of Year

Winner: Jorge Martin

Thee Martinator’ started off by High-siding His Aprilia Scooter’ just one hour into MotoGP Pre-season testing, suffering a broken hand and fractured foot! Before the season just went completely Pear Shaped to say the least!

 

Martin broke His opposite hand the Monday prior to the season opening round at Thailand. And then rushed back to action at Qatar where He lost control, got hit and ended up in hospital with eleven broken ribs and a collapsed lung, Shiesa!

 

Further endearing Himself to Aprilia, He unwisely tried escaping His contract during recovery, before reneging. Returned to action before breaking His Collarbone at Motegi when colliding with teammate Marco Bezzecchi. Adding insult to injury, by having to serve a double long lap penalty at the season finale at Valencia for causing the collision at Motegi!

 

Honourable Mention

Max Verstappen

Regardless of Max Blunderhead’s adamant dismissal of His ridiculous crashing into Bosom Buddy George Russell in Barcelona. Where Circus Maximus got off lightly with only a ten second time penalty. Nonetheless, Maximus Hothead’s dropping from fifth place to an eventual tenth place finish, cost Him nine points! Before losing the Drivers Championship to Lando Norris by two points…

 

Move “Was Not Right” says frustrated Verstappen

 

Other Choices

Josef Schlick’ Newgarden

 

9. Quip of Year

Winner: “You Fired me Once!”

Those were the cheeky words of Martin BillyBob’ Brundle during His Jeddah Grid Walk, when speaking to HMS Monogram, aka Flavio Briatore. Who replied It was a Mistake…

 

As how many remember that Brundle drove one season for Benetton in 1992? As “Understudy” to someone named Michael Schumacher…

 

Honourable Mention

“In 200 years no one will care. We’ll All be Dead!”

Those were the salient words of Lando Norris Wayback’ in August, when then trailing McLaren teammate Oscar Piastri in this year’s title fight. In regards to whether or not He won the championship.

 

“I’ve got four of those trophies at Home”

Typical Max Speak during the three title rivals Thursday press conference preceding the championship weekend’s title decider on Yas Isle. With Verstappen taking it even further by saying He knows what His signature looks like! Since reportedly, every F1 Drivers World Champion “signs” the vaunted championship trophy…

 

As that's a Wrap for the Year Kiddoes, as it's been Ah, Uhm? Oh Yeah, Ah blast as always…

 

Arrivederci

Tomaso 

Friday, December 19, 2025

The 2025 IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Awards edition



Everybody loves Alex, except Zak. But Cheep’ loves winners better! (The Tomaso Collection)

 

As who will Santa be Awarding “Gifts” to this year? Whilst pretty sure I know who’s getting a lump ‘O coal! (Zakery)

 

Once again,  I’m finishing off the year’s No Fenders posts Here upon Ye mystical’ Isle of Nofendersville, with Thy yearly IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Award selections. Hence these choices were Jotted down after somewhat quick deliberation.

 

Whilst Y’all can compare ‘n contrast this year’s choices with my Elongated 2024 Selections in the following link.

 

The 2024 IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Awards edition

 

WINNERS

2025 IndyCar Champion: Alex Palou, Spain

2025 Indy 500: Alex Palou; Chip Ganassi Racing

2025 Rookie Of the Year: Louis foster, UK

 

CATEGORIES

1. Driver of The Year

Winner: Alex Palou

Yeah, this one seems obvious, even though I typically try thinking outside the box. Yet “vice Champion” Pato O’Ward finished 196 points behind, and with six less victories!

 

As let that sink in Uno Momento. Alex Palou’s margin of victory was ten points shy of four “Clean Sweep” race weekends, i.e.; Pole, ONE lap LED, Most laps led and the Win. (54 points maximum) Or four points shy of a four race wins lead!

 

As we All know that Alex truly had a magical season, with 8 wins, 6 poles, 14 Top-5’s and 15 Top-10 finishes, enroute to crushing the competition.

 

And for the cherry on top, Palou won His first ever Oval race at none other than the Indianapolis 500, Bravo!

 

Other Choices

Pato O’Ward, Kyle Kirkwood, and I suppose Scott Dixon?

 

2. Biggest Disappointments of The Year

For Mwah, this one’s simple. As the two biggest disappointments are Roger Penske’s Dismissal of will Power, and Zak Brown’s refusal to settle out of court vs. Alex Palou.

 

We all know that Power was Penske’s best finishing driver the past two seasons, not to mention all of His other glittering stats.

 

As how do you replace a Two-times IndyCar Champion, Indianapolis 500 winner. The All-time career Pole winner, (71) and fourth All-time career wins (45) with David Malukus?

 

As no disrespect to Chicago Davey’, having been a Fan of His since entering Indy Cars, But! The Kid’s only raced four seasons with a total of 44 starts. Zero pole positions or wins and three podiums.

 

Although He did finish a career best 11th overall driving for A.J. Foyt Enterprises last year…

 

Yet how does one replace the legendous’ Will Power? While Shame on Roger for treating Him like a commodity on a ledger sheet and deciding it’s past it’s best used by date, which He also did with Helio Castroneves…

 

An Inglorious end to a Glorious Partnership

 

Yet even worse, is Zak Brown’s insistence upon ruining Alex Palou for life! Claiming the Four-times IndyCar Series Champion and reigning Indy 500 winner owes Him an eye watering $19.5m, as in millions for alleged “Damages” over Palou rescinding His desires to drive for Zak!

 

As I cannot confirm this, or heard it anywhere else. But I believe I heard Marshall Pruett say on His Podcast that at one point Zak was willing to settle for just a few million dollars…

 

The “long and expensive” McLaren v Palou war comes to a Conclusion

 

3. Race of The Year

Oval Track Winner: Milwaukee

Like most choices here, this was simply a process of elimination. As I’d have to say that Gateway ranked towards getting the nod, but ultimately fell short due to the fact that Milwaukee featured our latest debutante IndyCar winner, that being Christian Rasmussen.

 

Not to mention that Rasmussen and Ed Carpenter Racing (ECR) boldly chose to pit on the final caution to bolt on fresh Firestones and storm to the lead from I believe being P19, or was it 9th? Audaciously passing none other than Alex Palou for the victory!

 

Sugarplums, Rainbows and Splenda Sweetness abound at Milwaukee

 

Twisties' Track Winner: Portland

This probably was the hardest choice for Mwah, since the season finishes so long ago! But giving my Home-track the nod. Since Thar was actually passing at Portland, with Pato O’Ward starting on pole due to pole winner Christian Lundgaard serving a six grid place drop for an unapproved engine change.

 

While Lundgaard and Palou had a mighty scrap over second place, while Will Power returned to the top step of the podium a year later after His last win at Portland. As DJ WillyP’ started third, but won again!

 

4. Most Improved Team of the Year

Winner: Meyer Shank Racing

Initially considered two other teams for this honour, i.e.; A.J. Foyt Enterprises and Ed Carpenter Racing. Since both improved overall. Yet Foyt’s Santino Ferrucci slid down, and even with one win, ECR’s two drovers were only 13th and 15th.

 

Yet with MSR’s two drivers finishing inside the Top 10. With Felix-the-Cat’ (Rosenqvist) sixth, and Marcus Armstrong only 8 points behind in eighth. (372-364) This is “Heady” territory for the Midfield team. As now they need to win a race to continue their upwards trajectory.

 

5. Most Disappointing Team of the Year

Winner: Team Penske

Yeah, their three drivers finished P9-10-12 in the championship, with a paltry two wins. Which naturally you’d expect more from El Capitano’s eponymous race team.

 

Yet being caught cheating at Mother Speedway, the second time in 14 months, ultimately left shock waves at Team Penske. And then there’s the bungling of Will Power’s dismissal to boot! Which makes this choice a no brainer.

 

INDY 500: Penske to the Forefront Again 

Tuesday, December 16, 2025

The 2025 IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Awards edition, Positions 6-10



How strange will it be not having Will Power in this car? (The Tomaso Collection)

 

    As DJ WillyP’ says “Somebody give Me a Cheeseburger!”

 

Hard to believe its already been a whopping 107 days since IndyCar raced! Meaning its somewhat hard to make my yearly choices, which I try doing spontaneously, going with whatever comes to mind first…

 

CATEGORIES 6-10

6. Most Improved Driver of the Year

Winner: Kyle Kirkwood

Almost overlooked the driver affectionately known as “Kirk” Kirkwood. Yet being a fan of His ever since His Scorched Earth Road to Indy campaign, it seemed only a matter of time until having His Breakout season in the “big” Cars!

 

Yeah, its somewhat odd thinking of Him being “improved”. Yet the Floridian won three races this season. Including His first Oval track win at Gateway.

 

At one point, Kirkwood was the only driver not named Palou to win! And looking like Alex’s main competitor for the title, but we know how that went…

 

As Kirkwood finished a career best fourth overall this year, and has just signed a multi-year contract extension with Andretti Global.

 

7. Most Disappointing Driver of the Year

Winner: Marcus Ericsson

Just for the record, I’ve been a Fan of Marcus’s since meeting Him in person in Austin Wayback’ in 2014! Which is why it pains me to nominate Him for this dubious No Fenders award.

 

The Affable Swede’s life obviously changed after winning the 2022 Indianapolis 500, before He was Robbed the following year!

 

No idea why, but ever since He’s moved to Andretti Global, its just been a super bumpy road for Him. As this year was supposed to be when He improved at Andretti.

 

Ericsson started off with a sixth place finish at St Pete before multiple 20-something finishes, with a resounding thud of P26 at the Indy Road Course race.

 

And then when it looked like the page had turned for Marcus, with a fine second place finish at Mother Speedway. Through no fault of His own, Ericsson and teammate Kyle Kirkwood’s (6th) scars failed post-race tech inspection. With unapproved modifications to the Dallara’s Energy Management System’s )EMS) cover with modified spacers and unapproved parts. Seeing Ericsson and Kirkwood reclassified P31-32, Youch!

 

Resetting at Detroit, Marcus finished 13th, with the remainder of the season seeing a string of “Tweens” and twentieths. With the lone bright spot being a fifth at Toronto, His highest finish of the season. Wit a total of only two Top-10’s and one Top-5 finish.

 

Thus it pains me to keep bangin’ on about how I think Marcus will be replaced by Dennis Hauger when His contract expires next year. But I hope Ericsson will remain in IndyCar…

 

8. Comeback Driver of The Year

Winner: Callum Ilott

How can you not admire a driver for eschewing a Factory Sports Car drive in order to race in IndyCar? Even if it’s a brand new team. Coming on the heels of winning the Six Hours of Spa for Team Hertz Jota in a Porsche 963.

 

Returning to IndyCar with the brand new “ground-up” Prema Racing, which naturally struggled early. Ilott showed flashes of His old-self toward season’s end. Claiming His first Top-10 finish at Toronto in eight. Followed by back-to-back sixth place finishes the next two round at Laguna Seca and Portland. And then capped off the season by finishing ninth at Nashville.

 

As it’s a shame that Ilott possibly won't race in IndyCar this year…

 

9. “Big Boyz Pants” Award

Winner: Will Power

Know it’s the “Nature of the Beast”. But I found Ryan Marin’s question on whether He’d be back at Penske or not during His winner’s podium interview at Portland disgusting!

 

As no driver should have to endure such relentless haranguing by the media!

 

As Kudos to DJ willyP’ for being a class act about this! As He deserved to lose His cool  from the relentless, repeated barrage of the same question. And give somebody the Will Internal I’m on fire Power response! As where’s a Double Bird salute when Yuhs need one, Eh?

 

As I love the fact that Power said NO to El Capitano’, and is extending His IndyCar career at Andretti Global.

 

As why did that ‘Ol Little River Band’s “It’s A Shame” song come screaming into my Head? Yuhs know, in the wrong garden…

 

VIDEO: Red-Headed Wildflower

 

10. Rookie of The Year

Winner: Robert Shwartzman

Yeah, know that Louie’ foster nipped Shwartzman for the IndyCar rookie Of the Year Honours, but! Shwartzman clearly comes out on top for Mwah!

 

As the Israeli born Shwartzman, at age 25 was making His debut not only in IndyCar, but driving on totally foreign tracks to Him. Along with driving for the brand new rookie Prema racing outfit…

 

Shwartzman scored the team’s first Top-10 at Gateway, and then backed it up with His season best finish of P9 in Iowa’s Race-2.

         

Yet undoubtably, Shwartzman’ crowning achievement was His shock pole position at Mother Speedway! Becoming the first rookie to claim pole for the Indianapolis 500 since Teo Fabi in 1983, Aye Karumba!

 

Along with Prema being the first “rookie” team to claim pole at the Brickyard since Meyer Motor Racing with The Gasman’, aka Tom Sneva in 1984.

 

Interesting how Robert’s best finishes, and performances all came upon Ovals, something brand new to Him. While we’re all awaiting the outcome of Prema Racing for next season, and if they return to IndyCar? 

Monday, May 12, 2025

Open Wheel Rookies Galore

Although we know that fortunately, some Roundy-Round Star won’t be in consideration this year…

 

Not sure if it’s a condemnation upon the current IndyCar season and it’s typical Oh, so S-L-O-W Drip-Drip-Drip season’s start after a Gory half year’s absence! Before mashing the loud pedal and going Gangbusters thru thoust “Month of May”, even if it’s really only a svelte nine days? At least that’s what I came up with from my initial ryth-muh-tickin’.

 

U2’s bono’ croons in a long ago song title God, Part 2: “You glorify the past, when the future dries up”. Which in hindsight is possibly why I went down another Wabbit’ Hole recently, eh?

 

As I’ve just spent the past three months off ‘n on updating my Formula 1 seasons Entry lists, specifically in search of each year’s rookies class participants, Aye Karumba!

 

Although first I had to create the 1974 F1 season in order to start at year 1975 some four days after this year’s Rolex 24, Remember that Y’all? Finishing just fived days prior to this year’s Miami Grand Prix. When IndyCar was butting heads with F1. And those G-Damn’ Taxicab Bombers!

 

Indy Cars Grand Prix of Alabama began at 10:30AM Pacific on FOX. With my Zap-2-It’ TV guide initially claiming that Formula One’s Miami Grand Prix started at 12 noon on ABC. Although the race coverage actually began at 1:00PM Pacific, and NASCAR’s race coverage was listed as 12:30PM Pacific on FS1.

 

As may be this is why it felt like just plain ‘Ol PR Spin over the IndyCar ratings “rebounding” to an average of 940k viewers for Barber Motorsports Park’s FOX broadcast, with a nearly 20% increase over last year’s NBC viewing.

 

As I still say Penske Entertainment and IndyCar are Fooling themselves if they think the easy solution is simply switching TV Broadcast partners, but I digress…

 

And while I’ve gleaned that Formula One’s largest rookie class was a staggering 20 in 1976! Keep in mind that a total of 55 drivers participated, with 48 actually racing! Which is a far cry from today’s Formula 1, even with this year’s stellar class of four  F1 Wookies’.

 

As I learned that I’ve been incorrect the past several decades, and that F1 rookie status is any driver with only two total Grands Prix starts to His, or Her career. Since there’s been only a handful of Femme Fatales attempting to race in Formula 1 the past half decade.

 

As I suppose I was Cornfuzed’ since IndyCar allows rookie status of up to four races in a season. Since that was the chatter about Nolan Siegel initially trying to preserve His rookie status last year with Dale Coyne Racing before going fulltime with Arrow McLaren…

 

Yet strangely, Formula 1, or more correctly, the Federation Internationale de l’Automobile, nee FIA doesn’t have a Rookie Of the Year (ROY) award a la IndyCar strictly for F1.

 

Instead, the FIA has only given out a Rookie Of the Year award since 2014 which is open to single seaters and rally racing. Handed out at the yearly FIA prize gala, with last year’s award winner being Formula 2 Champion Gabriel Bortoleto.

 

As soon, if not already? We’ll be talking about this year’s crop of four Indianapolis 500 rookies, provided they All make the show! Even if once again we’ll be discussing Kyle Larson ad nauseum, Groan!

 

By my unofficial reckoning, Nolan Siegal, Louis Foster, Jacob Abel and Robert Shwartzman are this year’s four Indianapolis 500 rookies.

 

Of this quartet you’d have to say on “paper” that Shwartzman is the most likely to not qualify. Since His very first Oval experience came during the Open test Rookie Orientation Program (ROP) at Mother Speedway during April 23-24.

 

At least that’s what I initially thought. Having since learned that Shwartzman and Louis Foster both participated in a rookie oval test at Gateway on April 15th. When I was trying to no avail to find any articles upon the four drivers passing ROP, which I also Arse-sume they did, El Correctomundo?

 

Shwartzman has the added pressure of racing for the brand new Prema Racing IndyCar team, but apparently is one “Cool” customer who didn’t get too rattled by the fire He experienced at the Thermal club!

 

Interestingly, Shwartzman, Foster and Jacob Abel all hadn’t driven an single seater with the Aeroscreen until this March. Along with the addition of the still relatively new Hybrid, Err Energy Recovery System. (ERS)

 

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Nolan Siegel, who impressed with His failed rookie attempt to qualify for last year’s Indianapolis 500 for the plucky Dale Coyne Racing (DCR) outfit. And surely will qualify this year driving for Arrow Mclaren, Righto?

 

Know that Mike Hull of Chip Ganassi Racing (CGR)  was Uber impressed with Shwartzman the day they tested Him, Wayback’ in January, 2023. Whilst CGR was also very impressed with Abel, who tested for them at Texas Motor Speedway before joining DCR.

 

Whilst both Shwartzman and Siegel have race in the 24 Heurs du Mans, with Shwartzman driving for AF Corse in the top tier Ferrari 499P Hypercar with Robert Kubica and Yifei Ye.

 

Meanwhile, Foster is the reigning Indy NXT Champion, having won 10 of 28 races during His two seasons driving for Andretti Global.

 

Foster who now drives for Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing also could face an uphill battle, due to RLLR”s last two year’s struggles at IMS. Not to mention Takuma Sato needing a new Dallara DW12 chassis built-up for Him following this year’s open test.

 

But Foster should be able to lean upon not only a two time winner in Sato, but Graham Rahal should be a steadying influence Me thinks…

 

As IndyCar.com’s Eric Smith notes in His Louis Foster making progress article, beginning with Barber’s. IndyCar will be in the “Meat” of it’s schedule, racing over 14 of the next 16 weekends, Youza!

 

So I’d say the two drivers scrapping for the proverbial “P33” are Shwartzman and Foster. But we’ve already seen five drivers experiencing trouble during the open test.

 

As we know about Sato’s heavy wall tag, with Golden boy Kyle Larson also hitting the wall in Turn-1, both during Thursday morning’s simulated “High-boost” Qualie’ settings.

 

Yet Santino Ferrucci needed to replace His Chevrolet engine. Jack Harvey suffered an ERS failure, and Graham Rahal lightly brushed the wall; All of which could happen during the oh, so important qualifying sessions… 

Wednesday, February 12, 2025

The 2024 Formula 1 Golden Tailpipe Awards edition

The long, forgotten Caterham CT01. (Image source: Bing.com)

 

As Who’s got the Biggest Balls of All, Max?

 

With Formula 1 actually becoming interesting once again, after the white washing Max Verstappen and Red bull put upon the opposition in 2023. As we’ll never see another season like that! I simply had nothing to say about the Max Verstappen Show.

 

Yet Max Blunderhead’ had to work quite hard this year to secure His fourth F1 World Championship. Not to mention having an amazing seven drivers winning Grands Prix this season, along with McLaren winning the vaunted Constructors title!

 

As Y’all can compare ‘n contrast these Spur of Ye Cuff, Nonsensical selections vs. two years ago in the link below…

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2022/12/the-2022-formula-1-golden-tailpipe_0250107140.html

 

WINNERS

2024 F1 World Champion: Max Verstappen

2024 Constructors Champion: McLaren

2024 Monaco Grand Prix: Charles Leclerc

 

CATEGORIES

1. Driver of The Year

Winner: Carlos Sainz Jr.

Yeah, the obvious choice would be Max Verstappen, Righto? But for Mwah, anybody who comes back one race after emergency Appendicitis surgery and wins Down Under in Bloody Melbourne Mates! Is a Shoo-in! Especially if I’m a Fan of His…

 

Yes, others including His Ferrari teammate had more wins. But Charles Leclerc also threw a Hissy-fit over the radio when He didn’t get His way and Carlos finished ahead of Him. Suck it up Chuck!

 

Not to mention having to race the entire season knowing that He was being dropped in favour of Lewis Hamilton. As it would have been easy to just trundle along, but Sainz competed mightily the entire season. Ultimately scoring two Grands Prix victories. The latter being a storming drive from pole at Mexico City!

 

As it’ll be interesting to see how Carlos performs at the underwhelming Williams this season…

 

Other Choices

Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, et Al

 

2. Biggest Disappointments of The Year

Without a doubt, the biggest disappointment is Mikey A’ being told He needs to retire, Box-Box-Box on the penultimate lap of Andretti, Err Cadillac Racing finally being granted the 11th F1 Garage on Pitlane for 2026! As I don’t know how to scribble ‘bout Michael Andretti’s ouster any better…

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/10/whats-really-going-on-at-andretti-global.html

 

While the return of HMS Monogram, as Grizzled F1 Journo’ Joe Saward called Him. Flavio Briatore’s return to Formula 1 is definitely disappointing! Being the mastermind behind le reggie’s Crash Gate!

 

Not to mention it being a sad day for French motorsports with Alpine’s decision to abandon its own PU’s, ergo Power Units in favour of customer Mercedes units!

 

And its also disappointing if Max really did threaten to put George Russell on His F-KING’ Head…

 

3. Race of The Year

Winner: Sao Paolo Grand Prix

This seemed like a no brainer to me. Especially with Max Verstappen’s amazingly sublime drive in the wet! As Max’s marching from P17 to the lead was simply breathtaking, especially since He passed car after car cleanly in the rain!

 

As both eventual runner-up Esteban Ocon and Oscar Piastri simply marveled over Max’s exquisite car control. Which I scribbled about in the following No Fender tome…

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/11/f1-which-max-will-show-up-under-strips.html

 

Whilst I’m guessing some will wonder about my other choices below, particularly the latter. Since even though Lando Norris checked out, it did feature two more superb from back of grid to the podium performances by Charles Leclerc and Lewis Hamilton…

 

Other Choices

British, Miami, Hungarian and Abu Dhabi Grands Prix

 

4. Most Improved Team of the Year

Winner: MoneyGram Haas F1 Team

Initially, it was a shock regarding Herr Guenther’s, nee Guenter Steiner’s dismissal as team principal for the unknown Ayao Kanotsu. Yet Konatsu being an engineer apparently has a steady hand. And doesn’t seek the spotlight like Steiner did…

 

As the team more than quadrupled its overall points tally this season. As I believe they were even as high as sixth in the vaunted F1 Constructors chase before finishing seventh, three positions better than 2023.

 

Along with finishing one place behind Alpine. Which Alpine jumped to solely upon the excellent 2-3 finish at Interlagos…

 

5. Most Disappointing Team of the Year

Winner: Stake F1 Team Kick Sauber

This was a toss-up between Williams and Sauber for Mwah. As I’d hoped for better from both of these long established F1 Constructors. Although Williams wasn’t alone in the spare chassis saga, the British team was definitely in the worst scenario! Which wasn’t aided at all by the multitude ‘O crashes its three drivers had during the long season.

 

As I understand that somebody’s gotta be last, butSauber only scored an embarrassing total of four points! As I don’t think the drivers were trying any less, or that the team wasn’t working hard. But I’m just left wondering if there was a lack of development or money spent in a lame Duck season before Audi took final, outright control of Sauber? 

Monday, February 10, 2025

The 2024 Formula 1 Golden Tailpipe Awards edition, Positions 6-10

And Max takes it by a Nose. Somebody give me a Cheeseburger!

 

Time for another mesmerizing No Fenders zany Awards story. Especially since I haven’t done one of these in some 24 months. But with All of the Sir Lewis mania sweeping Italy right now…

 

CATEGORIES 6-10

6. Most Impressive Driver of The Year

Winner: Nico Hulkenberg

Suppose what stands out to me about thee Incredible Hulk’, nee Nico Hulkenberg was His ability to wring the neck out of His Haas VF-24 consistently, and always sniffing round the top ten during qualifying and race finishes.

 

As Nico finished a very respectable 11th in the Drivers standings, scoring 41 of Haas’s tally of 58 points!

 

Hulkenberg had either nine or ten Top 10 finishes, since I cannot tell if He retired or finished seventh in one round? With a best being a pair of sixth place finishes in the Austrian and British Grands Prix.

 

7. Most Improved Driver of the Year

Winner: Yuki Tsunoda

The Japanese driver scored the bulk of Racing Bulls 46 points. Claiming 30 points enroute to 12th in the overall standings with Tsnoda’s best being a treble of seventh place finishes. And while Yuki easily outperformed RB teammate Daniel Ricciardo. Ultimately He didn’t do enough to keep Liam Lawson from claiming the coveted, second Red Bull Racing Hot-seat alongside F1 World Champion Max Verstappen.

 

8. Most Disappointing Driver of the Year

Winner: Sergio Perez

What can I scribble about either of these drivers, that hasn’t already been said? As I gave the nod to Checo’ simply due to His being in superior machinery, even if the Red Bull RB20 was a diabolical handful to drive this season.

 

As it was just plain outright sad to see Sergio struggling so mightily! With numerous, self inflicted crashes and spins hastening His exidous from Formula 1…

 

Runner-up: Daniel Ricciardo

Conversly, the same argument cood be made for DannyRic’, aka Daniel ricciardo’s demise from Formula 1. As the affable Aussie’ was trying to do enough to promote Himself into Perez’s seat for 2025. Yet like checo’, Ricciardo also struggled Ah-Mighty’ at the team F1 Sherpa Claudio coined as the little bulls, aka Racing Bulls or RB. Since I detest that Visa Cash App nomenclature!

 

Yet DannyRic’ simply failed to live up to His promise. Being dropped in somewhat bizarre circumstances. After setting the Fastest lap at Singapore, before simply being replaced by young turk’ Liam Lawson. Whom ironically gave the man He ultimately replaces the No. 1 salute during Checo’s Home race!

 

9. Personality of Year

Winner: Max Verstappen

As the now Four-times consecutive F1 World Champion garnered another new nickname from Mwah this season. Calling Him Max Blunderhead’, in regards to His fiendish Dick Dastardly driving antics at Mexico City! To the sublime drive in the rain at Sao Paolo. Whilst Maximum Hothead’s never at a loss for words!

 

From threatening to put Bosom Buddy George Russell on His F-KING’, careful Max! Yuhs know how swearing’s not allowed by the FIA, Tisk-Tisk!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/09/f1-max-tells-fia-to-bugger-off.html

 

To the brilliant one-liner about if His Mum had Balls She’d be His Dad…

 

10. Rookie of The Year

Winner: Oliver Bearman

Yeah, I know most would say it should be Williams Franco Colapinto, since the Argentinian driver was also sensational. Yet for Mwah, Oliver Bearman’s performance at Jeddah electrified me! Especially with the then 18yr old’s sudden, unexpected call-up to deputize for Carlos Sainz in the Saudia Arabian Grand Prix.

 

As Sainz needed to have an emergency Appendectomy, with Bearman replacing Him just hours before qualifying. With the British rookie qualifying P11 and finishing a fine seventh place, which was All I cared about during the race! With Bearman becoming Ferrari’s youngest ever driver.

 

Bearman than substituted for Kevin Magnussen at Haas a further two races. The first being at Azerbaijan, after the Dane’ had to serve a one race ban. With Bearman finishing tenth, becoming the first driver in Formula 1 history to score points for two different teams in back-to-back races…

 

Oliver raced again for a sick Magnussen at Sao Paolo, but struggled in the wet conditions. Including ironically, netting a ten second penalty for a collision with Colapinto. Ultimately finishing P12.

 

As Bearman will now make His full season debut for Haas, while Colapinto’s currently Alpine’s test and reserve driver…