IndyCar, Be Afraid! Its Football time again

“Johnny said you play a pretty good Fiddle, now let me show You How its done!” Hut-Hut, Arkansas!

 

Obviously, this No Fenders rant is pointless! But I felt like uncorking it anyways…

 

As two songs crystalized upon my internal Jukebox after that Oh, so clever title sprang to mind! Since none other than the late Larry McMurtry said He couldn’t write the book until He had a title for it…

 

Thus Wasted Days and Wasted nights first flashed upon my radar. But thinking more about the fearful 869lbs Gorr-rillia’ that IndyCar’s so scared to go up against. Instead Charlie Daniels Devil Went Down to Georgia seemed more Apropos. Since after all, think Georgia’s Football country, Y’all?

 

Having said it before, I’ll stand firm on my conviction that IndyCar sold its Soul to FOX for its latest TV Broadcast deal. For which the crammed down our gullet July portion of the calendar saw FOX only average 734,000 viewers for the Toronto IndyCar race. Last seen on Terrestrial TV Wayback’ in gory 2019, when the NBC Sports Broadcast netted a stark 504,000 viewers. Before NBC showed Oh Canada the love yearly, by making Toronto its only Peacock streaming race of the season.

 

As the hoped for silver bullet of inking FOX as the new television partner, was that the network FOX TV Broadcasts would result in a viewer ratings surge to above the magic One million viewer threshold weekly, Which we know didn’t happen.

 

As Toronto was FOX’s fifth  consecutive race during summer without an audience over 800k. Netting FOX eighth races under 800k, albeit four races above One million viewers.

 

Arse-suming Laguna Seca kept FOX’s streak of under 800,000 viewers going…

 

Average FOX Broadcast equals 829,000+ to date, through 12 races, not including this year’s Indianapolis 500. Compared to NBC’s 38 (2019-2024) non-conflicting races vs. NASCAR, the Indy 500, weather delays, NFL or COVID-19 season averaged 998k plus. Which drops to 935,408 for races going up against opening weeks of NFL. football.

 

While NBC’s six non-conflict telecasts last year averaged 932,833 to FOX’s 829,833 = Over 100k less FOX viewers to date! Which I’d say will not improve with the doldrums, Err Dog Dazes ‘O August fast approaching. Uhm, where’d they go Vern?

 

NBC’s 2024 tally dips to an average of 868k plus when factoring in last year’s Nashville finale vs. Week 2 of NFL Football, Urgh! Which was still approx. 40k higher than FOX’s tally through Toronto…

 

Look, I get it, which doesn’t mean I have to like it! That we’ll never go back to IndyCar’s Heyday’s of CART. Which for example the 1990 CART PPG IndyCar World Series also featured 17 races. Beginning on April 8th at Phoenix International Raceway. And ending on October 21st at Laguna Seca Raceway, with effectively a Double Header. Due to the Marlboro Challenge race running on Saturday.

 

With two new races added that year, both being street races at Denver and Vancouver, with Pocono being dropped due to safety concerns.

 

Although 30 years ago, the IndyCar season began another 17 race calendar on March 5th at Miami’s Bicentennial Park. And concluded the season on September 10th at Laguna Seca. With seven street races, six Ovals and four road course races.

 

Hmm, don’t Y’all just love when history gets in the way of your rant? As perhaps this six months on/off thingy’ Aint’ so new, Eh?

 

Yet IndyCar is never going to improve their ratings until they figure out how to improve the schedule away from its yearly Famine-Feast-Famine routine. As everyone knows All about the ridiculous six month Hibernation. Followed by two or three races with three week gaps between them, Blah-blah-Blah. For which I’d say the 1995 calendar was way more “balanced” and flowing nicely, without any momentum killing gaps upon it.

 

Then slamming half of the season between May to June. A weekend off and then another five races over four July weekends, before limping to the finale on August 31st, Crickets! Is never going to grow your desired audience…

 

And let’s not even get started on one of IndyCar’s worst Buzzwords. Can Y’all say Date Equity? With it being time to play Wackamole again…

 

I also  understand we cannot compare IndyCar to NASCAR or Groan, Formula 1, who’s sweeping the nation with it Real Housewives of F1 reality TV Show. Be still my bleeding Heart. What will they do with the demise of Chris Horner, eh?

 

But its funny how IMSA’s still got a few races left on their calendar, i.e.; Battle on The Bricks (Sept 21st) and Petit Le Mans. (Oct 11^th) While the NHRA’s still racing until November 16th at Pomona, the conclusion of its 20 race season. Even with the litany of Pigskins being tossed round, Illegal Formation – tweet!

 

As believe it or not? Thars’ some of us who only follow Motorsports. Meaning its good to have other racing series to follow in IndyCar’s absence. Especially since IndyCar has gone into its winter’s slumber, and won’t see its shadow for another Freakin’ six months, Sigh!

 

As what’s that ‘Ol saying about Out of sight, Out of mind! Which ironically, Davey Hamilton said the very same thing during the Laguna Seca race, regarding the shortness of the IndyCar season…

 

(TV Ratings Source: Indianapolis Star, Nathan Browne)

Cornholed, Again!

And He misses the Pile…

 

Yeah, know Y’all are saying where’s my riveting Canadian GP or Gateway IndyCar race reports eh? But Yuhs know how I roll here in Nofendersville…

 

Once again, I got Cornholed! Just over a fortnight ago, (Sunday, June 1st) when chaos was breaking out in Barcelona, ci!

 

Supposedly ESPNews was replaying the Spanish GP at 2:30PM. (Pacific) As I long ago stopped getting up at Oh Dark 30 for Formula 1, Ole!

 

I turned Thy Telie’ on early, since I often aim the remote the wrong way and have to play the turn the cable box on game, being Blind Y’all…

 

Yep, Thar was some riveting Cornhole game being played, which I must say is like my trying to watch a Darts match, with the bean bags going womp-womp-womp! Followed by what sounded like somebody calling a High School tennis game TV announcers noise.

 

Without knowing the time, 2:30PM came ‘n went, and when I finally checked the time since this riveting Cornhole match was now onto another game, it was 2:43PM. And in the words of George Crybaby’ Russell, What The Flock? Language George, the FIA doesn’t like cuss words, Tsk-Tsk!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2021/04/welcome-to-formula-ones-pariah-club.html

 

Hmm, may be the F1 replay won’t start until 3:00PM? Since the Emilia Romagna rebroadcast had a similar problema, with some college sports program running 20mins extra before somebody apparently woke up and began the F1 replay. Which I “watched” an hour of the Max parade before going to bed…

 

Checking my Zap-2-It TV guide again for the umpteenth time. Since it was past 3PM and Cornhole was still going strong, with the scintillating score being 8-6, Urgh! It said that ESPNews was also replaying the Spanish GP at 7PM. And even though I’d accidently heard who the winner was, Sigh! I thought I’d watch it anyways, since this is the only reason I keep my outlandishly overpriced Spectrum Cable TV service. Now that Fox Sports has taken over MotoGP and doesn’t replay it until the middle of the night, but I digress…

 

Nope, Stee-rike Two! As there was some riveting womens college baseball game going on, in the middle of the fifth inning involving Arkansas I believe, Swell! So I just went and “watched” Err listened to the Youtube Highlights “package” instead. Since I’d waisted far too mucho time trying to catch the Gory F1 replay!

 

Guessing y’all know what happened in the closing stages of the Spanish GP race highlights, ci?

 

But once again, I missed All of the Fireworks surrounding who I’m now calling Max Blunderhead! Being just one more blatant example of why I don’t like Maximus Hothead! And I totally agree with 2016 F1 World Champion Nico Rosberg’s assessment that Verstappen should have been given a black flag for purposely ramming Russell! As a ten second time penalty doesn’t send a severe enough message to a driver well known for His outrageous, and dangerous driving antics…

 

Have scribbled previously that I’ve never disputed Verstappen’s driving talent. It’s just His unrealistic behaviour of a toddler throwing His bottle out of the pram whenever He doesn’t get His way on-track that rankles me!

 

As His petulant spearing of Russell after having been told by His race engineer to give George the place back seems reminiscent of Senna deliberately crashing Prost at Suzuka! Or Michael Schumacher squeezing Rubino’, nee Rubens Barrichello into the wall at some 180mph at the Hungaroring in 2010! Where the German received a ten place grid penalty for the next race at thee Mighty Spa’; Spa-Francorchamps for His reckless, Err Ruthless driving behaviour.

 

Which like I’ve said before, Senna and Schumacher are the two closest drivers Max Blunderhead seems to emulate on-track, meaning I should be a fan of His…

 

And how can you not enjoy Max’s off track candidness? Saying that Red Bull teammate Yuki Tsunoda is not a pancake! In regards to the Japanese driver completely struggling with the diabolical RB21 chassis, for which Liam Lawson was demoted from, and arguably should have never been so hastily promoted to the Big Bullx’ outfit after only eleven Grands Prix experience…

 

Or Max saying He’ll bring some tissues next time after Russell’s remarks regarding His driving antics.

 

Yet Maximus Hothead’s temper tantrum is inexcusable, and once again Red Bull is doing nothing about it! Since what would be the draconian punishment to Tsunoda, Lawson or the other ‘lil Bullz’ (Racing Bulls) rookie driver Isack Hadjar for disobeying a direct order from the race team?

 

Max needs to be sat down for one Grand Prix if the sport really wishes to set the proper example for not tolerating such egregious driving behaviour! Where the Austrian Grand Prix minus Verstappen would definitely send a message! Or at the very least, a ten grid place penalty at Montreal.

 

Thus, I found Thyself hoping Maxwell silver Hammer would pick up one more needed penalty point at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve to enforce a one race ban at Spielberg. Although knowing Maxwell Silver Hammer’s to shrewd for that…

 

Yet it serves Max right that He won’t secure a fifth consecutive F1 world championship this year, since He doesn’t deserve it!

 

Meanwhile, thanks to F1 being on the eastern seaboard, and Indy being a night race. I actually got to “watch”, Err listen to most of the Canadian Grand Prix live on Thy Telie’, i.e.; both Friday practice sessions, Qualie and the race.

Apparently the word Lando Norris was using over the weekend on Il Notre Dam was inevitable. Which surely, I should have expected it would be inevitable for Max Blunderhead and George F-bombs R Us Russell to be on the front row together again for Sunday’s race.

 

Max was very “Cool” in the post qualifying interview with Jack Vanilla, aka Jacques Villeneuve. Replying He always wants to be on pole…

 

Then Russell was a Cheeky Bugger! And  I’m 86% certain the crowd Booed Him when He said He’s got a few more points on His license to play with. For which all I could say was Youch!

 

Or as ‘lil Davey Malukas used to say during the Team Penske Bus Bros dazes’, shots fired!

 

And then during Martin BillyBob’ Brundle’s legendous’ Grid Walk, Brundle cheekily told Carlos Sainz Jr. I promise you Carlos, your not late as He went scurrying by, Youza, good one Martin!

 

Yet the race was anti-climatic at the front with Russell leading wire-to-wire from pole, with Max second and Kimi Antonelli scoring His maiden podium.

 

While all of the fireworks occurred on lap 67 of 70 when Norris made an ill-advised overtaking attempt upon McLaren teammate, and F1 championship points leader Oscar Piastri. With Norris shunting and Piastri finishing fourth after a cautionary pitstop to change tyres, at least that’s what I thought I heard the Sky sports Pundits say? With the race finishing under caution… 

Time to Kick Off the 2025 IndyCar season

As anticipation mounts over another insidious 43 weeks Offseason coming to a Close!

 

Diehard IndyCar Aficionados will already know about the major news items for this year’s NTT IndyCar Series season, beginning this weekend at St Pete. The biggest being the switch to FOX, with All 17 races being hosted live on network television.

 

With FOX’s TV Booth lineup being announced just prior to IndyCar content days in January, with Will Buxton being the new lead Play-by-Blay Anchor, with James Hinchcliffe and Townsend Bell as the Driver Analysts. Or should that be protagonists? Whilst Ryan Hunter-Reay, Jack Harvey and Charlie Kimball’s names were thrown round as potential Pitlane reporters…

 

FOX is also bringing the advent of Drones to its IndyCar coverage. As no jokes about Amazon making deliveries, or pepperoni pizzas dropping from the skies here, Hya!

 

Along with the debut of the “Birds eye”, Err Driver’s Eye system at the St Pete season opener. As the miniaturized in-helmet camera system which has been used in Formula 1 and NASCAR, now joins IndyCar. Which Y’all can read in detail below…

 

https://racer.com/2025/01/15/indycar-drivers-eye-system-to-debut-on-fox/

 

I’ll save All of the Driver switches for my yearly, IndyCar team previews, Groan! Other than to say once again it’ll be an action packed, nearly nonstop 17 race calendar from the beginning of March to the final day of August.

 

Since I still firmly believe that IndyCar sold its Soul for the FOX Network TV Deal!

 

And are simply shooting themselves in the foot (again) by limiting the season to a tiny, six months period. Since we won’t even get started about what happens when Mother Nature reeks havoc upon race weekends! And that doesn’t even include running in Iowa in the middle ‘O summer, Oh Never Mind!

 

Look, I get it, and am resigned to the irritating fact that IndyCar is too afraid of the Big, Bad NFL 986lb Gorilla! And that others have pointed out that both Sports seasons are the same duration, But!

 

I’d argue that the NFL keeps it firmly in our minds with All of its offseason activities, i.e.; Draft, OTA/Spring Training and Pre-season Games, et Al.Not to mention the monumentous playoffs to the Super Bowl…

 

Thus it seems that IndyCar could at least resume holding an official Spring Trainning Pre-season weekend accessible to All Fans at the very least. Whilst I for one would appreciate further “Offseason” international races. As surely the Braintrust at Starship Penske, Err Penske Entertainment can come up with a viable way to extend the IndyCar season for All of us Diehard Fans who Don’t give a Tinkers Damn about Stick ‘n Ball Sports, Righto?

 

Hell! No wonder why Formula 1 is encroaching upon IndyCar’s turf and TV viewing numbers! I mean they were in the midst of Hamilton Fever in late January when He arrived at Maranello. Before everyone whent Gaga over His testing a two year old Ferrari at Fiorano…

 

Hey, you didn’t think this entire, riveting No Fenders post was gonna be 114% Sunshine, Bunnies and Rainbows, did Yuhs?

 

As I just hope the Intrawoods’ connection or that IndyCar Radio at least used some brand new dental floss for its tin cans broadcast connection this weekend at St Pete! And I can listen to an interruption Free radio broadcast from Ye Gory Apple Orchard. As Y’all know the words…

 

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!

 

And lookie Thar Mom, I didn’t even mention a word about Josef Schlick’ Newgarden using the button Illegally at St Pete…

 

While I’d enjoy seeing the “conquistador ‘O concrete”, aka Alex Palou do what the Kansas City Chiefs couldn’t accomplish! Seeing the Spaniard “three-peat” for Championship titles this year, Ole! Just as long as everybody runs roughshod over Schlick! 

When does Age become More than just a Number?

And should we Glorify these Ageless Warriors…

 

This riveting No Fenders “thread” first crystalized in my Noggin’ when reading about Lindsey Vonn returning to competition at age 40, earlier this year. Before Mike Wallace had His NASCAR Dance Card rescinded.

 

Then it really started picking up steam upon Will Power saying He thinks He can continue racing in Indy Cars for another five years, upon hiring His first ever agent. With A14 Management led by some smarmy Spaniard named Frederico Suave, aka Fred Alonso who’s nearly five months His Junior!

 

As it should come as no surprise that Will Power is the elder statesman of Team Penske’s twelve main racing series drivers, i.e.; IndyCar, Sports Cars and NASCAR.

 

As William Steven Power turns a robust 44yrs old on March 1st, and presumably will be hoping for either pole position on His actual birthday, or winning St Pete as a birthday present the following day! Whilst Power’s two Team Penske IndyCar drivers XcottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin is the youngest at age 31, just a stitch six months younger than Ryan Blaney. Wit Josef Schlick’ Newgarden being 34 years old.

 

Penske’s six Sports Car Hotschues’ vary in age from 29 to 40. As Nick Tandy’s only four years younger than Power, at age 40. With Kevin Estr, (36) Laurens Vanthoor, (33) Felipe Nasr, (32) Mathieu Jaminet (30) and Matt Campbell, (29) following in descending order.

 

Of Team Penske’s trio of Roundy Round drivers, ergo NASCAR. Austin Cindric (#2) is the youngest at age 26. Followed by 2023 Cup Champion Ryan Blaney, (#12) age 31. With reigning Cup Champion Joey “sliced Bread” Logano (#22) being 34 years old.

 

And for every Ageless Warrior, there’s always a flip-side example. As now I’m even more cornfuzed’ over why perennial Sports Car Champion Dane Cameron at age 36 got the Boot from Penske, when Estr’s the same age and Tandy’s four years older, Huh?

 

While Sports Car’s “Pro Am” (Amateur) Ben Keating and George Kurtz are 53 and 54 respectively. But they’re both “Gentlemen” drivers, i.e.; wealthy businessmen who like to go racing and play in the big Leagues, albeit in the second tier LMP2 category, primarily…

 

Meanwhile, perhaps you’ve heard that Mike Wallace was denied His application to attempt racing in this year’s Day-Toner’ 500 at age 65. Which I feel was prudent, since the middle of the three Wallace racing brothers hadn’t raced on a Super Speedway in ten years.

 

Yet on the flip-side, the Daytona Beach News Journal reminded me that ‘Ol Blue Eyes’, aka Paul Newman had won the Rolex 24 at age 70! Competing in a nasty Roush Racing Mustang in the GTS class with Mark Martin, Tommy Kendall and Mike Brockman. With Newman racing into His 80’s, Yureka!

 

Having scribbled another, typical long form four parts No Fenders tome about ‘Ol Blue Eyes’, sheez, a few years ago now. With Newman’s racing exploits chronicled below in:

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2022/07/diving-into-paul-newmans-racing-career.html

 

With my Cliff Notes tome about Paul Newman’s A Life book review are located here:

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2022/07/paul-newmans-life-book-review.html

 

Whilst I don’t know if it’ll make DJ WillyP’ )Will Power) feel old? Since I can still recall getting His and His two Penske teammates Juan Pablo Montoya and Helio Castroneves John Hancock’s at Sonoma nearly eleven Gory years ago! But as everyone knows, Hulio’, who’ll turn 50 on May 10th just contested His maiden Day-toner’ 500. While Montoya had a totally disappointing “One-off” Roundy round RASSCAR’ outing for 23/Xi Racing at Watkins Glen last year at age 49.

 

Ro-Ro’, I feel another No Fenders yarn being spun about this remarkable Team Penske trio’s accomplishments…

 

And just to put things into quick perspective. Jacob Abel, Christian Lundgaard, David Malukas and Sting Ray robb were All born the year that our current elder statesman of IndyCar, Scotty “Iceman 2.0” Dixon who turns 45 in July, was born, Yikes!

 

With Kyffin Simpson being the youngest IndyCar driver who can’t drink any “bubbly” on the podium until this October, currently being only  20yrs old. As I could go on ‘n on…

 

But like I said, it was none other than decorated Downhill Skier Lindsey Vonn who got this whole story started, and currently captivates me. As I’d have to Arse-sume the whole notion is for Vonn to compete in a remarkable fifth Winter Olympics next year in Italy, which she has since stated.

 

As the St Paul, Minnesota native says Her comeback is partially fueled by the likes of Tom Brady, Lewis Hamilton and Serina Williams All competing professionally in their forty’s. As seven-times Formula 1 World Champion Sir Lewis turned the Big 4-OH’ on January 7th, and is set to embark upon His debutante season driving for la Scuderia, ergo Ferrari.

 

Vonn at age 40, made Her comeback at St Moritz, with a credible 14th place finish after having last competed some six years earlier. Gaining everybody’s Attenzione at St Anton with finishes of sixth and fourth, Momma Mia!

 

Then I suppose you could say reality struck? Since Lindsey owns the record for twelve wins at Cortina d’Ampezzo in Italy. Yet She only managed finishes of 20th and then crashed out, while tracking fifth in the Super G event, I believe.

 

Although Vonn was uninjured, and said She was  actually glad, since it tempers expectations that were starting to get out of hand. And She’s still rusty and needs more competition before next year’s Olympics.

 

Vonn, who retired at age 34 after Her right knee was simply “gone”, said all She’s thought about the past eleven years is the knee. And had resigned Herself to living life with a painful knee, before having reconstructive knee surgery last year. When Her troublesome right knee was repaired with titanium, which Lindsey said just days after the surgery, She was pain free!

 

Thus, as long as it doesn’t take away a younger skier’s ability to compete at Cortina d’Ampezzo in Milan, 2026. And Vonn’s inclusion on the US. Olympics Women’s Ski team is merit based, then I’m All for Her remarkable comeback to succeed! As Vaughan is the oldest female to win a winter Olympics skiing medal at 33 in 2018 at PyeongChang, South Korea. While no female has won a major skiing event over age 34.

 

And as much as Lindsey decorated career of 82 wins, 137 podiums and three Olympic medals shines. She’ll be hard pressed to compete vs. Mikaela Schiffron, who turns 30 on March 13th. Whose the current record holder with a staggering 99 victories, 154 podiums and three Olympic medals to date. With two Gold medals vs. Lindsey having just one.

 

Although I must say that Vonn’s comeback and attempt to Cap’ Her career at Cortina d’Ampezzo makes me think of Bode Miller and His unquenchable thirst for competing, who contested five Winter Olympics before finally retiring in 2017.

 

Meaning we should enjoy watching the likes of Lindsey, Serena, Lewis, Power, Dixon, etc. continuing to defy the odds of “Father time” anxiously waiting to say, “Bring Me your Torch!” 

Why I Hate Professional Sports!

Hey Batter-Batter, watch the Birdee!

 

Hmm, why did that ‘Ol radio song Tell Me Why I Don’t like Monday’s come screaming upon my mental Jukebox, Eh?

 

Otay, so I’m completely, One Zillion percentage aware of how nebulous professional “Stick ‘n Ball” Sports reach is. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it!

 

Case-in-point. One of the few reasons I’ve still hung onto my outrageously overpriced Cable TV service. Wool looki’ Thar’, Y’all! They’ve just silently tacked another $7 monthly increase onto my bill, Jack Arses! Uhm have I mentioned their motto lately? Spectrum, We Care! Especially since my programming choices so vastly improved Cough-Cough, Oh Never Mind!

 

AnyHoo’ Silly me! Thinking I’d sit down to “watch”, Err listen to Saturday’s MotoGP Sprint race from Motegi on Tru TV, Steee-rike!

 

As I was totally insensed that instead of Tru TV’s usual El Stupidio programming, i.e.; Impractical Jokers or the World’s Dumbest. As talk about the worst programming on the entire Cable TV spectrum…

 

But No! Instead it was some Talking Hedz’ blathering on about baseball, before they ran what felt like 18mins ‘O Commercials, Stee-rike 2! They sent us straight, or was that a Fernando Valenzuela Screwball? Directly to Game 1 of the Cleveland Guardians vs. Detroit Tigers; You’re Out!

 

As once again motorsports pays the price for Stick ‘n Ball sports mania!

 

Making me wonder how IndyCar’s gonna fare upon FOX next year? Especially wondering what the over/under is when an IndyCar Qualifying or Practice session gets Bumped for something more “lucrative” on either of it’s FS1 or FS2 Seester’ channels? Just sayin’, Ole!

 

Then again, I suppose it was a good thin I missed Saturday’s Sprint race. Since I didn’t know thee Martinator’ had crashed during Qualie’ and was starting P11, Youch!

 

Although Jorge Martin did Damage limitation during both races, only losing eleven points to (Francesco) Pecco’ Bagnaia. Seeing His points lead shrink to a razor thin ten markers.

 

Whilst I missed All of the action Down Under on Phillip Island, Mates! 

Announcers, Can we Please Stop Yelling!

As I’m already excited without you Screaming at me over Who’s the Winner! Like isn’t that what winners do, take the chequered flag?

 

There has been much debate over who should be FOX’s IndyCar Announce lineup next year. And it’s funny how our personal preferences effect us, Righto?

 

Although I’ve got absolutely nothing against Kevin Lee the person. I’ve been lamenting here upon No Fenders for years how I cannot stand His nauseatingly FAKE enthusiasm, ergo Yelling!

 

Yet AZ Buruea Chief Snowbyrd’ MJ just told me that She really enjoyed Kevin Lee during the Nashville season finale and His “infectious” enthusiasm.

 

Perhaps you’ve heard about six senses? And that Blind people have Super Powers! Like exceptional hearing, Uhm what did Yuhs say Sonny? Speak up Eh!

 

Although Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary ellen would tell you that my hearing sucks! Presumably from either one too many RUSH concerts or the plethora of IndyCar, Formula 1, Sports Cars, MotoGP or Vintage Races I’ve partaken over the decades…

 

Although if I had to guess, it would be from hearing a pack ‘O 3.0-litre normally aspirated Shrieking V-10 Formula 1 lumps’ one too many times over the years, but I digress…

 

AnyHoo, I simply cannot stand Kevin Lee’s FAKE, phony, manufactured excitement! Which sounds Horrific to my ears! And yes, I’m aware that other announcers also YELL at us, for no apparent reason.

 

As is this something taught at Journalism classes around the Globe? Since Sky Sports Formula 1 lead Presenter Kroftie’ (David Kroft) is a Screamer! And so is TNT Sports MotoGP lead Presenter Gavin Emmett!

 

While I’d have to say that my favourite International announcer, Err Presenter would be former Seattle Sounders FC great Arlo White! Who quickly got poached by NBC to head up their Premiere Soccer TV coverage. Whom I cannot recall ever Yelling…

 

This led me to try coming up with  a veritable top ten of motor racing announcers. For which I’ve only listed the trios I could recall below.

 

“Top 10” Motorsports Announcing Trios

1. Bob Varsha, David Hobbs and Steve Matchett: Formula 1

2. Paul Page, bobby Unser and Sam Posey: IndyCar

3. Bob Jenkins, Benny Parsons and Ned Jarrett: NASCAR

4. Bob Jenkins, Robbie Buhl and Jon Beekhuis: IndyCar

5. Bob Varsha, Dorsey Schroeder and Calvin fish: Sports Cars

6. Ken Squire, Ned Jarrett and David Hobbs: NASCAR

7. Leigh Diffey, Paul Tracy and Townsend Bell: IndyCar

8. Mike Joy, Darrell Waltrip and Larry McReynolds: NASCAR

9. Bob Varsha, Dario Franchitti and Steve Matchett: Formula E

10. Ken Squire, Buddy Baker and Dick Berggren: NASCAR

11. Alan Bestwick, Benny Parsons and Wally Dallenbach Jr: NASCAR

12. Bill Webber, Kyle Petty and Wally Dallenbach Jr: NASCAR

 

Hands down and no contest, Varsha, Hobbs and Matchett were simply the best ever! While I’d probably put Varsha, Franchitti and Matchett as second best with Page, Unser and Posey rounding out my mythical podium.

 

Whilst my list doesn’t include the likes of Jim McKay, Brian till or Adam Alexander as lead Play by Play Announcers…

 

As for Mwah, Jim McKay would be one of my “Gold” standards, but I didn’t list Him because as far as I can tell, McKay only ever worked as a “Twosome” in the TV Booth alongside another stellar Announcer voice; that being Chris Schenkel.

 

Brian till, whom I’ve always thought was excellent, seemingly has served as a backup lead Announcer over His long television career.

 

And Adam Alexander, who gets my nod to be the lead Announcer of FOX’s IndyCar broadcast next year has always been “enjoyable” to Mwah. As I know He was the lead Announcer for TNT’s NASCAR Summer series Wayback’ when. As I think He was teamed with Kyle Petty and perhaps Wally Dallenbach Jr? Knowing He’s worked with both of those Colour Commentators. But I couldn’t find out His exact NASCAR top tier booth “buddies”.

 

Alexander would seemingly check All of FOX’s “Boxes” (requirements) for a lead Announcer, being only 51 years old and well seasoned in this role, along with being employed by FOX.

 

Whilst I was unaware that Adam actually worked for the IndyCar Radio Network during the 2000’s. Being the Turn 3 Announcer for the Indianapolis 500 between 2004-06.

 

Since unfortunately, I’m Arse-suming FOX will continue the tradition of selecting “Youthful” looking, Easy on the Eyes Announcers. Which would make me think that both Brian Till and Alan Bestwick will be overlooked. Even though both would bring instant creditability to the announce booth. As these would be my first two choices for lead Announcer.

 

Rick Allen also comes to mind, although I don’t know if He’s locked into the Xfinity series broadcast?

 

While another voice I’d enjoy as the lead announcer would be Nicky Salt’ Yeoman from IndyCar Radio. As I feel He does an excellent job as the lead announcer of Indy NXT and IndyCar in general. But I think He’s Mark James Heir apparent and going nowhere…

 

As the only two consensus choices seem to be James Hinchcliffe as a Driver Analyst/Colour Commentator and Georgia Henneberry as a Pitlane Reporter. Which Kevin Lee would also be aptly suited for working the Pits. Just not as the lead Announcer, please!

 

Townsend Bell would fit well with FOX’s over the top mentality. And if you really wanted to spice up the Booth. Bring back Derek “Hang Onto your Hollyhocks!” Daly…

 

And that’s my two pesos worth on the subject. Since somehow I don’t think any FOX Executives will be calling me anytime soon for this lowly blogger’s opinion! Especially since the Cellphone reception’s really bad in my Mum’s basement… 

HYDROS: San Diego’s Gold cup Finale becomes Unlimiteds “Rubber” Match

As who’ll take home the prestigious APBA Gold Cup this Year?

 

This weekend’s Bayfair Cup on the bill Muncey Sand diego Mission Bay’s season finale will decide this year’s Nathonal High Points champion. Along with whom gets bragging rights over the winter’s offseason for winning the prestigious APBA Gold cup. As I’d like to Arse-sume that All eight Unlimited Hulls that participated at Seattle will make the trip south down Interstate Freeway I-5…

 

I say rubber match because I’mthinking that’s what this final race has become between the U-91 Miss Goodman Real Estate of Andrew Tate vs. the two Strong Racing Hulls; the defending champion J. Michael Kelly in the U-1 Beacon Electric and the U-9 Beacon Plumbing with Cory Peabody at it’s tiller.

 

The season’s two main protagonists have been Tate and Peabody, who seemed destined for an epic showdown on Lake Washington in the winner take All Seafair Apollo Mechanical cup final this August.

 

As I did manage to listen to All seven Heats from Seattle both days via a very sketchy Youtube channel livestream. Even though Saturday saw their pit reporter’s transmissions completely garbled or non-existan. Along with having to Jack up the volume ridiculously in order to barely hear colour commentator John Walters…

 

Saturday’s preliminary Heats saw Tate win Heat 1A, followed by Peabody winning Heat 1B. While the best race of the day for Mwah was Dustin Echols impressive victory in Heat 2A! Being His and the U-40 Flav-R-Pac’s first Heat victory of the season, winning ahead of J. Michael Kelly!

 

Heat 2B pitted Tate against Peabody. As Peabody claimed the inside lane-1 and subsequently “motored” away from Tate, who finished second.

 

Sunday’s Heat 3A saw Tate win convincingly from the inside lane-1. And when asked about it afterwards during the winner’s interview bluntly said: We got Beat! When asked why He’d run inside on lane-1; referring to Heat 2B.

 

As John Walters, whose also an H1 Unlimited Inspector said that He’d noticed that the U-91 was running a different Skid Fin today in order to get better “Bite” off the corners on Seattle’s relatively short, tight 2.0-mile race course.

 

While later in the day, Walters mentioned an interesting factoid. Stating that today’s modern three bladed propellers used are made from castings. And last only 100 minutes! Before becoming doorstops or knickknacks…

 

Then lead announcer Brad Luce chimed in that years ago Nate Brown had proclaimed to Him: “Thin is Fast, but Doesn’t last!” Regarding an Unlimited Hydroplane’s propeller’s lifespan. With Walters noting that every single time the blade hits the water it bends…

 

Heat 3B saw Peabody ultimately victorious, albeit being pushed hard by teammate Kelly in a resurgent U-1 after an overnight engine change. With the Strong Racing duo finishing 1-2…

 

Meanwhile, leave it to John Walters, who won the sport’s very first race with a turbine engine in 1982, driving the Pride of Pay ‘n Pak during the H1 Unlimiteds pathetic Seafair livestream broadcast. Casually mentioning that Jim Lucero, the sport’s winningest Crew chief had died earlier this year. With Walters saying “We lost a Good One”. With Lucero taking the chequord Flag at age 77, just six days after Ron Jones Jr. death.

 

Huh, how come I haven’t read a word about this on H1 Unlimiteds webpage? Oh yeah, that’s the same (lame) site that not only couldn’t post stories during race weekends. But failed to post a race report of Sunday’s Apollo Columbia Cup in Tri-Cities at All!

 

Hmm, why did it take me until Tuesday morning after Seafair to find the race report Hidden on the website’s innocuous results tab! Only after I started huntin’ and peckin’ around their pathetic website! Whilst I still haven’t been able to locate a current National High Points championship points standings tally anywhere on the web, Urgh!

 

Brad (Luce) also asked Walters how driver’s felt after causing their team’s to have to rebuild their boat?  In regards to J. Michael Kelly feeling bad after His narly Blowover at Tri-cities the week prior!

 

Walters mused, Jim (Lucero) would say, “What did you do to it John? It was perfect when it left the dock”.

 

As Lucero won a record 69 races as the Sport’s winningest Crew Chief, including ten APBA Gold cups and eight National High Points championships before retiring in 1998.

 

Luce and Walters salivated over how they expected four boats to be gunning for lane-1 in the finals! And then during the Milling period before the new “Score Up” at 1:15 before the start. Luce said is that the U-1, U-9 and U-91 All together in the south turn? As we’ll keep an eye upon that triumvirate! Before Luce said that Kelly had bailed from the Argie-Bargey before exclaiming that Tate had gone Dead in the water!

 

Kelly got a legal start ahead of the rest of the field before Peabody was battling for the lead on the outside, with the two Beacon Hydros’ going Mano e Mano! With Kelly getting His first W’ of the season and Peabody second, with Tate a dejected fifth! Having never recovered from His dust-up with Peabody before the start…

 

Then the Officials ruled that Peabody had encroached upon Tate during the start and handed Him a one minute time penalty, with Kelly still being the winner. Now followed by Jamie Nilsen in the U-11 Miss Mercurys coffee second. Dave Villwock in the U-27 Miss Apollo third and Tate fourth. With Dustin Echols fifth, the U-35 of Gunnar O’Farrell sixth and Peabody relegated to seventh.

 

Now I’m not suggesting this, but after waiting and waiting, and still Ah-Waitin’ to hear the post race drivers interviews which never happened, Urgh! As I really wanted to hear Tate’s assessment over what happened?

 

My mind sprung to having recently read an old interview with Ron Jones Jr. where He mentions rebuilding the Miss Circus Circus that burned in Hawaii for Steve Woomer as a “Truck” Boat. And whomever was driving it? His sole task was to crash into Mark Evans to prevent Him from winning the National High Points Championship, Youza!

 

And although I’m not implying this happened in Seattle, since I think Peabody was still chasing Tate for the championship at that point; but why do we live in such a conspiracy laden society these days?

 

Especially when one of the Strong Racing Hulls won at Seafair; being J. Michael Kelly’s second win in-a-row. With the Miss Madison Racing website stating that Tate substained damage during said milling period. Which obviously would have been caused by Peabody in the U-9!

 

Yet Andrew Tate and the U-91 Miss Goodman Real Estate lead the National High Points Championship by 949 points, which represents two first place and nearly fifth place finish in Heat points! With Tate having two wins vs. Peabody and Kelly having one apiece. Making you believe that this triumvirate are the odds-on favourites for winning the Gold Cup this Sunday in San Diego.

 

As I’m firmly rootin’ for my Numero Uno Skipper Andrew Tate to seek His revenge upon Strong Racing at Mission Bay this Sunday. And claiming His second Gold cup victory enroute to His second High Points championship title!

    

Paul Tracy on receiving end of Chrome Horn SUV Hip check!

As guess somebody didn’t know who they were Rubbin’ the Wrong way, Eh?

 

Thanks to Offical’ No Fenders Photographer Carpets’ for initially alerting me to the news that PT’, Sugar Ray Tracy or simply good ‘Ol Paul Tracy was struck by an errant SUV when bicycling this past Friday.

 

As the Thrill from the West Hill was  definitely feeling thee Agony ‘O Defeat! When being struck by a Sport Utility Vehicle, and initially thinking He’d just suffered a dislocated shoulder.

 

Yet the 55yr old former IndyCar Champion and 2002 Indianapolis 500 runner-up subsequently was diagnosed with three broken vertebrae,and possibly a hip fracture/injury? After being transferred to a local Trauma Centre. Presumably having had surgery this past weekend? And now will begin His recovery.

 

Although in typical PT’ fashion, Tracy posted to His verified X account that this would Fuck Up His Fitness regimen!

 

Whilst I’ll admit I’ve lost track of Tracy’s current activities since leaving NBC’s IndyCar booth in 2021. Other than He went racing in Smoke’s (Tony Stewart) former SRX racing series… 

When IndyCar takes a Back seat to Football, Again!

This Ain’t the car that Jimmy Harbaugh drove during the 2013 Indianapolis 500, albeit He did play for them during the 1990’s. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

Will the Alpine F1 Team run a Chiefs tribute car if they win another Super bowl?

 

Even though He’s only got half as many Super bowl rings as “Joe cool” has. Tonight’s Kansas City Chiefs starting QB Patrick Mahomes of the defending Super Bowl LVIII Champions has done what Joe Montana couldn’t! Even though it always seemed weird for Montana to be wearing a Chiefs uniform…

 

Canadian born actor Rob Reynolds leads an investment group along with fellow actor Rob McElhenney. With Otro Capital, RedBird Capital Investments and Maximum Effort Investments having bought a 24% share of Alpine F1 for $200m Euros ($218m USD) last year.

 

Also involved in the investment group are Kansas City chiefs Super bowl winning Quarterback Patrick Mahomes and Tight End Travis Kelce. Which would explain why Mahomes was on the Grid during Martin Billybob’ Brundle’s Formula 1 Grid Walk during this year’s Miami Grand Prix in May.

 

With Mahomes, Kelce and may be What’s Her Name? Oh Yeah, Taylor Swift joining MaxiMillions’ (Max Verstappen) as part of debutante F1 winner Lando Norris’s entourage that evening…

 

Other investors in this Star Studded group include actor Michael B. Jordan, professional Golfer Rory McIlroy and Olympic Boxing Gold medalist Anthony Joshua.

 

 

Terrible Tom, aka Tom Brady – 7X super bowl Champion is a minority owner in the FIA World Endurance Championship (WEC) Hertz Team Jota. Who run a brace of customer Porsche 963’s in the series premiere Hypercar class. As the team’s number 12 entry is directly taken from the past signal caller’s (QB) jersey worn during His playing days.

 

Ironically, it was the same No. 12 that scored Porsche’s first privateer victory at this year’s Six Hours of Spa race at Belgium’s legendous’ Spa-Francorchamps circuit. Where Callum Ilott, Will Stevens and Richard Lietz were victorious!

 

Whilst interestingly, the “list” price for a customer Porsche 963 is reportedly $2.9 million, Aye Karumba!

 

Lastly, since it’s now the fourth quarter on this No Fenders dribble and I’m running outta gas! Antonio Williams, a former Buffalo bills and New York giants NFL running Back. Along with a brief stint with the BC Lions of the Canadian Football League and currently a Free Agent. Invested in the SS-Green Light Xfinity Race team and driver Joe Graf Jr. in 2021, when still a member of the bills organization.

 

Williams, from North Carolina has been a NASCAR fan forever, and met Graf thru a mutual Acquaintance.

 

And that’s just some of the current and past names I’ve “Squirreled” away over the past several years now, after several False starts!

 

As say goodbye to IndyCar racing in September. Thanks to the new & improved FOX TV Dealio’, Frick!

 

As guess I’m one of the few who doesn’t give one iota over Freaking Football! Or any other “Stick ‘n Ball” sports.

 

Is it March, Yet? Hut-Hut, Oh Never Mind!