Monday, February 29, 2016

As Thy Great White North calls, Crunch time looms for aspiring Open Wheel Drivers

Although not racing related per sei, nonetheless I'm looking forward to my latest jaunt across Thy Border for some great comedy...

Naturally, I'd presume when Y'all ponder Canadian Open Wheel Racing Drivers, names like Villeneuve, Moore, Goodyear, Tagliani and Carpentier come to mind, eh? While Vancouver, BC these days always makes me think of the late, great Greg Moore.

As I'm 99% certain that Jacques Villeneuve is the only KuhNuck' to have ever won the Indianapolis 500, whilst Scott "What Pacecar?" Goodyear has come Oh, So tantalizingly close more than once! Although he's only officially finished runner-up twice - as just ask Arie, Jacques and 'lil Al, who've A-L-L finished ahead of him.

Whilst I've had what I consider his best ever drive at Mother Speedway, from 33rd to second by scant inches finish depicted in an excellent Randy Owens lithograph of the 1992 Indy 500 hanging on Thy wall forever, albeit mine's right side up Scott; Hooah!

And when I said comedy, I wasn't referring to Dudley Duright or those stoic Mounties, aka Thy RCMP, nee Royal Canadian Mounted Police! As they don't take kindly to any Keystone Cops inferences; Hya!

Nope, instead I was referring to the great comedian Louis Black who's the impetus for said trip, as Hey, we A-L-L need some comedy now and then, right? As perhaps Mr. Mark Miles could take some pointers on loosening up from the very funny, and apparently personable Mr. Jay Frye; but I digress...

Yet  taking poetic license, this 'lil Yarn is now redirected towards Thy plight of today's aspiring Open wheel Racing drivers, primarily spawned by that LUV-able' Curmudgeon 'R, aka Robin Miller and his succinct story 'bout thee Cheepster's letting go of Sage "Dangerboy" Karam in favour of Max Chilton after one partial season behind the keyboard.

As I realize that today's a whole different Ballgame when it comes to motor racing. As take whom presumably was Oh Canada's first Indy 500 driver, a one Mr. Pete Henderson who contested the 1916 and 1920 500-mile International Sweepstakes races.

Reportedly, Pete and his brothers began as Duesenberg mechanics before Pete became a driver for Captain Eddie Rickenbacker's Maxwell Motors racing team, finishing twice in the Top-10, with a career best of sixth place in his rookie debut.

While I only know of another "NO-NOX' NAME" Canadian Indianapolis 500 racer; NO! Not the oft forgotten Ross Bentley or John Jones, but Eldon Rasmussen, who contested three 500's, i.e.; 1975-77-79. Amazingly all aboard his very own racing car dubbed the Rascar; GULP!

As I only know of Eldon's name due to his being a regular attendee of Don Kay's 'lil Autosport Radio Show, where Don always mentions that Canadian Motorsports Hall of Fame driver Eldon's in the House, as Rasmussen has primarily toiled as a fabricator after his racing career in the Indianapolis area.

Thus, although originally I wasn't a fan of Sage Karam's, finding him to be overly brash! Yet somewheres' along the way, I realized he's a pretty decent racer and he kinda reminds me of somebody named 'PT, better known as thee Thrill from the West Hill! Aka Paul Tracy.

As nobody seems to remember how much equipment Tracy tore-up driving for El Capitano, nee Roger Penske during his formative years, yet Tracy, given time, turned out to be a pretty decent driver, eh?

Yet I won't rehash Josef STUD! Newgarden's development at Fisher Hartman Racing, or thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown's (James Hinchcliffe) formative year at Newman Haas Lanigan Racing alongside a pretty good team-mate named Oriel "Suitcase" Servia.

Whilst I simply hope that Conor Daly gets more than a single season to cut his teeth Fulltime in Thy B-I-G CARZ', since there's little time for maturation in Indy Cars these days, as it seems to be more about how big the cheque is?

Not to mention how long will current Indy Lights champion Spencer Pigot be given to land a Fulltime drive? Or another talented Indy Lights lad' chasing Thy ever elusive sponsorship Dinero named Jack Harvey landing a ride, as countless Indy Lights drivers never get their due chance.

And then there's Formula 1, the ultimate single seater arena, where its 'Uber critical to align ones-self with either a F1 Constructor or even better yet a Manufacturer. As  case in point is the career path Pascal Wehrlein's taken en route to landing one of the back-marker Manor Racing seat's this year.

Although aligning ones-self with a major manufacturer isn't a sure-fire bet towards gaining entrance into Formula 1, as just ask Thy Young Wicky', nee Robert Wickens who'll be contesting  his fourth season as a Works Mercedes Benz DTM Pilote' this year.

As Renault F1 and reigning GP3 champion teenager Esteban Ocon will be nipping at Wickens heels as the newest member of Mercedes eight-man DTM squad - which also includes the likes of past DTM champions Paul di Resta and Gary Paffett amongst others.

Meanwhile, as Oh Canada's Dalton Kellett and Zachary Claman DeMelo battle for Maple Leaf supremacy in Indy Lights racing for Andretti Autosport and Juncos Racing respectively this year, obviously hoping to join Messer Hinchcliffe as Indy Car drivers shortly, I'm looking forward to seeing Sage Karam getting another crack at Mother Speedway this May.

As I'm guessing Karam's car will be hard to miss, since it'll presumably be adorned in radiant Gas Monkey Garage green, not  to mention sporting some type of in-your-face motif!

As it appears to Mwah, that Karam's departure for Thy land 'O Tintops' in IMSA Sports Car racing may well be Indy Cars loss, especially if Nissan decides to follow thru upon returning to Prototype racing in 2017 - for which Sage may have lined himself up smartly for with this year's outing alongside one of Sports Car racing's legends Scotty Scooter' Pruett in the Works Lexus GT3R program.

And lastly, surely I'm not the first to come up with this, eh? But how much will Cheep' (Ganassi) be laughing over newby' Chilton smashing up chassis? Since after all he is sponsored by that legendous' Watermelon Smasher comedian Gallacher, right? Hooah!

Friday, February 26, 2016

Alexander Rossi comes to America...

Formula 1's LOSS is America's GAIN!

By now Y'all know that American F1 Hopeful Alexander Rossi has joined the newly created Andretti-Herta Autosport IndyCar team, which effectively will become the pseudo-fourth car of Andretti Autosport. As  cannot say how Jazzed' I'm over this development, even if it's a Setback for Formula 1 gaining traction in Americre', where Mikey A's now got a lock on the last three Yanks' to race in F1!

In typical R' fashion, which seems like totally unscripted down-to-earth interviews, Indy Cars Soothsayer Miller has a great chat with Mikey A about inking Rossi for '16.

Also enjoyed Miller's chat with Alexander or is I-T Alex? Hmm? Seem to recall another driver who shortened his name to Alex having a pretty good career Stateside - Think Target Red!

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Renault Sport F1 Team revealed, finally...

Hurrah! It's nice to have le Reggie' finally announce its plans for its reconstituted "Works" Formula 1 team after five plus years absence as a fully fledged F1 Constructor! And if le Reggie can take their sweet time announcing this, then so can I...

Have to say that I was hoping when the rumours first began that "MAGS JR," aka Kevin "Bacon" Magnussen would takeover; Uhm, inherit whom I've coined "Sir CrashAlot" and "
"Walldanado/" YOUCH Nee Pastor Maldonado's seat at le Reggie...

Although in fairness to the now jettisoned Venezuelan, surely Maldonado can hustle a Formula 1 car a whole Helluva lot better than I can!

And Pastor actually has something that both current Renault Sport F1 Team drivers don't, a Grand Prix victory, not to mention also being the last driver to win for Team Willy', aka Williams F1 'Wayback in 2012, ironically on the very same weekend as Sir Frank's birthday!

Yet I find the move refreshing, as it gives Renault a clean sheet on its driver's front, which should invigorate the team, since obviously both drivers are extremely hungry to prove themselves!

Plus it gives Renault the solution to getting back into bed with its natural petroleum supplier, nee France's  Total, along with the added bonus of not only having a bonafied reserve driver on hand, but the chance for us fans to see a glimpse of another up 'N comer, nee reigning GP3 champion Esteban Ocon.

While I'll admit that I found the fact that there's a website titled Did Maldonado Crash Today  overly Hillarious! Which I learned from Paul Weaver's entertaining article in The Guardian's Sport's section recently...

And as typical, AC over at Axis of Oversteer not only points out the obvious, but also wryly opines how Formula 1 will be a sadder place without Crashtor!

Now if the media could simply confirm whether or not its Renault Sport Formula 1 or F1 Team? And is the chassis the R16 or RS16? Inquiring Minds wana Know!

Will the final Manor Racing driver please Stand Up...

Apparently Thy newly reconstituted Manor Racing F1 Team was taking a page from Dale Coyne's Playbook; Hya! When announcing its first confirmed 2016 driver to the world on February 10th, less than a Fortnight before Formula One's first winter test, albeit that's months 'N month's 'O time for Messer Coyne; Hooah!

Thus leaving only one seat available for this year's Formula 1 season, as Alexander Rossi, Will Stevens and Rio Haryanto A-L-L sat on tether hooks, or was I-T Pins & Needles? Awaiting to land their respective place upon Thy Grid for 2016.

As presumably Manor ran a minimum of two drivers during this week's first round of thee just concluded "Winter Olympics," right? Or perhaps kept us spellbound by running a European version of the famed Jack Roush "Gong Show" audition, running all three remaining hopeful drivers instead?


Funny how a few days after I'd scribbled the wild haired notion of the Jack Roush Gong Show approach, Shuhzamm! News surfaced speculatin'  about the novel idea of running all three drivers...

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

F1: What's Next, Turn-signal Blinkers?

Congratulations Uncle Bernaughty, Kristian Horner and 'lil Sid Viddle. You've managed to Wind Up everybody at the start of Formula 1's prestigious Winter Olympics, nee F1 testing; Hmm? May be there should be a new Medallion category created?

And Mission Accomplished! As seriously? Why are we even remotely considering the thought of Reverse Grids? I mean what's next, Sprint Races ergo GP2? And while we're at it how 'bout adding those track sprinkler systems? Kerb Feelers'; Hmm? May be Triple points for Pole, two-points for; Uhm? Don't wanna give the revered StratsDuh-GEE! Group any novel ideas!

Or perhaps just rolling out some Super Soakers on random bits of Ash-fault! And then again how 'bout adding a Joker-lap complete with track cutout lanes?

And lastly, how 'bout just handin' out shiny coloured medals on beautimous ribbons to the top three finishers, i.e.; Blue ribbon, etc. Uhm, I meant medallions like gold, silver and bronze...

Although Nico might use his silver medal to smack Louise over the head on the winner's rostrum, eh?

As Here's your Sign Bernie!

Congratulations, with leaders like you, its NO wonder Formula 1's going down the tubes!