Tuesday, April 28, 2009

F1 Hot Flashes

Whale I tell yuhs, from two wet races to Desert sandstorms and intensely high temperatures... As in 100 degrees Fahrenheit with 13% Humidity, which means it’s a dry heat... Kinda like the same with your oven, eh?

Yet, I’m finding this to be one of the most enjoyable Formula 1 season’s in memory, purely due to the upside-downish, topsy-turvy results to date by the NOT-SO usual suspects... With the winners being from outside the perennial “Top 4” teams; and although not overly impressed by the FIA, I do have to concede that I really like the fact that all of the competitors car weights are now being published after Qualifying, as once again like Shanghai, it was easily apparent that the top two Toyota’s were the lightest chassis on the grid, a la Fredrico Suave’s Renault the week before.

And perhaps the bid for Toyota to run light had something to do with as Peter Winsor noted; how it was a bit disconcerting to see the overabundance of billboards with Timo Glock and Jarno Trulli’s enormous faces plastered everywhere leading into the circuit... Which does seem a tad bit funny to carry out such of a marketing blitz on such a tiny Island Nation, thus I found it interesting to see that young ‘ZEBB was totally correct upon his assessment of the Toyota’s being lighter, as Trulli (648.5 Kilos) was 10.5k lower then Vettel, (659k) with Glock (643k) being 16 kilos less and the lightest car on the grid... And thus indeed as Glock admitted in the interview room he’d made a mistake on track since he should have been able to outpace his teammate.

Interestingly the BMW Saubers are the heaviest cars on the grid with Kubica weighing in at a massive 698.6 Kilos vs. Heidfeld’s 696.3, which sees the tandem 50 Kilos (110.47lbs) heavier then their front row rivals... And thus after being lambasted all weekend, I’m not really sure what their strategy was? Surely not going for a single pit stop were they? As their plans went awry.

Meanwhile interestingly the fourth place Brawn GP of Button and fifth place McLaren of Hamilton were of identical weights: 652.5 Kilos, while Felipe Massa’s Ferrari weighed in at 664.5k, while the sausage in an Scuderia sandwich was Nico Rosberg, who’s Williams weighed exactly one kilo less then The Iceman’s tenth place Ferrari: 670.5 vs. 671.5 kilos respectively. While disgusted McLaren teammate Kovalainen’s 11th place chassis was heavier yet at 678.5 kilos.

And I’m guessing that the lack of commentary from Peter Winsor had something to do with him ducking the Desert heat, eh? Although ironically he interviewed some Cat nicknamed “Slow Hand” resplendent in Ferrari cap on the grid... Which seems to be the Scuderia’s trademark at the moment... Although it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Eric Clapton was a guest of Ferrari’s, since after all, last year he got popped for speeding in his Ferrari... As rumours claim that Robert Plant, Nick Mason and E.C. were all on hand over the weekend...

And although the two Toyota’s who had their very first front row lockout after 125 starts, rocketed off into the distance, I enjoyed Vettel’s assessment of Louise JAGUAR Hamilton using his “Special Button” (KERS) to catapult himself from fifth to third at the start... Although Button made a brilliant pass upon JAGUAR which would ultimately help him win the race outright, while Vettel and Trulli-Scrumptous fought over second place which the young German wound up taking ahead of the Italian... With Hamilton taking fourth ahead of Rubino, who in turn bested The Iceman, who managed to score Scuderia Ferrari’s very first points of the season, under the scrutiny of Ferrari’s Luca di Montezemolo...

So let’s take a gander at the wacky leader board to date, shall we?

2009 F1 Point Standings
(Round 4 of 17)

Jenson Button: 31; Rubens Barrichello: 19; Sebastian Vettel: 18;
Jarno Trulli: 14.5; Timo Glock: 12; Mark Webber: 9.5;
Lewis Hamilton: 9; Fernando Alonso: 5; Nick Heidfeld: 4;
Heikki Kovalainen: 4; Nico Rosberg: 3.5; Sebastian Boomi: 3;
Kimi Raikkonen: 3; Sebastian Bourdais: 1.

Half Points awarded for ’09 Malaysian Grand Prix, as the race was Red Flagged before half distance. First time since the 1991 Australian GP.

Red Bull: 27.5
Toyota: 26.5
McLaren: 13
Renault: 5
BMW Sauber: 4
Toro Rosso: 4
Williams: 3.5
Ferrari: 3
Force India: 0

Monday, April 27, 2009

Milka makes 3

Whale I tells yuhs all... The IMS Radio Network really kracks me up... As the recorded loop informed us that the Indy Car Qualifications from Kansas Speedway would begin at the top of the hour... (Really? NO Kidding?) And then of course my win-DOUGHS media player went blank!

After re-logging in I got to hear my favourite “Hoosieronian” stating
“We’ve been informed that the Craftsman Truck Qualifying has run long. There’s been an incident on track with the Craftsman Trucks and they’re busy cleaning up debris and some oil on track...” (Which apparently led to the slight IMS Radio Network Brown-out?)

Uhm? Excuse me Mister Announcer... As I do indeed find it hilarious that you’re callin’ it the Craftsman Trucks since it pains me to know that its now uh-hum, the Camping World Series...

And good for you Mike “yippee Aye Kay” King coming on 20min later spewing venom on the BONEHEAD! Who laid down oil on track for a SENSELESS 35+ minute clean-up! As Davey Hamilton claimed the Pickem-Up Truck went onto track smokin’ before goin’ KABLAMOE in Turn 1. And then as Mr. King duly pointed out the Rocket Scientist behind the wheel proceeded to drive an entire lap around the track upon the racin’ line... Yo Bubbah, pull ‘dat F%%KING Pickem-Up Truck the HELL offa duh race track, yuh hear?

Thus Indy Car Qualifying didn’t begin until 12:40PM... Forty minutes LATE and I PITY THE FOOL! Who has to go explain to Brian I.H.J. Braveheart why the Pickem-Up Driver did NOT have a Brain! But I digress, as after all the Indy Cars managed to get everyone qualified without incident... As poetic justice intervened as the Trucks race would be curtailed early due to rain prior to the Thunderstorms and Tornado warnings... And its supposedly gonna rain Monday when they resume action...

Yet, who’d uh thunk it? An all Newman Haas Lanigan Racing front row as the very final qualifier Graham “Quarter Pounder” Rahal blistered the track for four laps, enroute to being the only driver to top 211mph... Hey at least I didn’t call him Ronald McDonald like Mr. Pit Stra-teeg-ist BRUT Arute-Arute did, eh?

And HE-Double L... Even Milkalicious out qualified R.E.O. Speedwagon & Hulio... Ok, heck all three females: Princess (3rd – YIKES!) Sarah Fisher (P11) and Milka Duno (P12) started ahead of Franchitti and Castroneves; along with the entire field, as the two drivers were deemed to have dipped below the white line on their runs... Hmm? Hasn’t Hulio done that before?

This in turn elevated Bad Bobby D, a.k.a. Robert Doornbos to second on his very first Oval Track escapade and hence, the NHLR front row lock-out which mimics the Toyota’s for the weekend’s F1 race in Bahrain, albeit the first time for NHLR and the last time Newman Haas Racing did that was way back in 1993 at Michigan with Nigel Mansell and Mario Andretti...

And I found it a bit gory to hear Davey Hamilton’s explanation over EJ “What, Me Worry”” Viso’s recent surgery, since the Venezuelan is apparently TOO PUMPED UP? And has had slits cut into his muscles to prevent his hands from falling asleep when his biceps become over-inflated... As Hamilton tried to explain that it’s a Motor-Crosser thingy where your arms get too pumped up and the blood loss makes your hands go asleep which probably AIN’T a good thing when you’re zoomin’ around at 210+ mph, eh? But it still sounds freaky... And late off of the newswires was the fact that EJ’s number thirteen wasn’t so lucky as his car was sent to the very back end of the grid for an undisclosed Technical infraction...

Thus Sunday arrived with the winds ablowin... As I settled in to watch my second Versus telecast... Of which soon became overly annoying... As I’m gonna rename it the Danicker Channel... I mean C’mon! Thank Goodness I wasn’t playin’ one ‘O ‘dem College drinking games where uze haveda swig, Hic... a shot ‘O Jaggermeister every time there’s a commercial with the Princess in it, Hic.

And without digressing into the whole Oval versus Road Courses theme, YAWN! Scott Dixon won another race as it settled into a predictable thrash upon the Big Three cheeses, i.e.; AGR, Penske and Target/Chip Ganassi... As Uhm? How many times can Dario & Scott weave the word Target into an interview, eh? As I was almost unawares of whose ‘dey drive-em for...

And I found it a bit disparaging that Milka got absolutely NO mention on the telecast other then when she was being passed and it wasn’t until lap 145 that Sarah Fisher got a shout out, but where’s Danica? As we’ve seemingly fallen straight back into the Danicker ‘N Hulio Show... Which should make the monstrous INDY 500 coverage a hoot, eh? And notice I’m NOT sayin’ a thing about the hour long SNORE pre-race show... As it seems a bit funny that Ryan “The IZOD Dude” Hunter-Reay doesn’t get some face time with the usual suspects, eh?

Now do you think anybody can beat the top three Bananas at Indy this year? As I’d thoroughly enjoy seeing Doornbos pull a rabbit outta his hat!

Friday, April 24, 2009

More on USGPE

Apparently SPEED TV’s Formula 1 coverage has become the unofficial media platform for the much ballyhooed USGPE effort, as perhaps I’m ‘Ol School, but the USGPE.com website still is completely BLANK and only teasingly ‘sez “Coming Soon.” (As NOT everybody does Facebook or GRUNTER! Err, TWIT-ER!)

Thus, Bob Varsha pitched another softball towards Peter Winsor during Friday’s second practice coverage. And in his usual eloquent “Aussie Drawl” the House ‘O Winsor replied I’m having to pinch myself to think this is really happening.... As we’ve moved into the ex-Hall of Fame (RASSCAR) Motorsports building and we’ve ordered a bunch of machinery including CNC equipment and three autoclaves; small, medium and large, as let’s see, it should be 7-8 in Charlotte and the Boys should be in the office by now... Obviously we’d like the 2010 F1 Regulations to be finalized along with nominating the teams who’ll be participating of which we fully expect to be one of...

As for engines, the FIA is encouraging new teams to go the Cosworth route and we’ve made a deposit on this for USF1... As I find it funny how Varsha & Winsor are seemingly using the moniker USF1 perhaps for annoyance towards Emperor Bernardo? As reportedly the team’s newest name will be revealed when the 2010 F1 Entry list is divulged.

Then Winsor went on a long rant about how Red Bull had made a mistake by ditching the then revving to 20,000RPM Cosworth V-8 “Lump” in favour of the Renault at the last minute back in ’07... And it was not bad to be utilizing an engine that American Kevin (“Smiley Face”) Kalkoven owned... Hmm? As Will has pointed out previously; Kalkhoven AIN’T NO YANK! Unless he’s gotten his citizenship, eh? I think it has more to do with one Aussie talking up another Mate... And getting a “Sweetheart” deal on the revitalized Cossies? Although I’m still a little cornfused about Super Aguri having supposedly been bought out by Cosworth?

2010 F1 Team floodgates to open?

As the speculation continues to swirl over the apparent rush of potential new contenders for the supposed three open grid slots up for grabs for the 2010 Formula 1 World Championship... Much fuss has been made over the fact that this bonanza is being fed by the proposed $30m (Euro) Budget Cap Formulae desired by MAD Max Mosley... Of which it’s now reported that Driver’s salaries will not be included in the budget restrictions...

And thus, as USGPE is already known to be on the grid for 2010, this supposedly leaves just two open slots of which now David Richards is rumoured to be considering bringing Aston Martin onboard, while Lola has just announced they plan to do a feasibility study... While there also is scuttlebutt over various GP2 teams being interested in moving up the ranks... So, we’ll see and so much for a budget crisis, eh?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Jenkins is the Mann!

Perhaps Y’all already know this, have figured it out or come to a similar conclusion> But after listening to Bob Jenkins once again on Autosport Radio yesterday... It became abundantly clear to Mwah just how much of a Class Act Bob Jenkins is... And judging by the reaction of the audience upon his introduction... This is a commonly held opinion, as the show’s first guest Kevin Savory of Andretti Green Racing certainly didn’t receive the same over joyous reception...

And Jenkins, whom I’ve just commented about his in booth pardners Jon Beekhuis and Robbie “That’s my Pick” Buhl seemingly not letting Bob get too many words in edgewise, is an extremely articulate, bright, clever and quick announcer... As Don Kay asked him if he’d fallen asleep while listening to the monotonous sponsor plugging... Oh No! I listened to every word Jenkins quipped... Later mentioning how you know you’ve made it when you have to hire somebody to do your lawns for you... And could Mr. Kay hurry up the interview as he’d promised his wife Pam they’d be home by 9PM in order to watch Dancin’ with the Starz...

Oh yeah, Jenkins noted I’ve got my own website now; it’s Bob Jenkins Racing.com, so check it out please...

So, I’ll hold off on my comments about the Versus broadcast as I like the majority of Talking Heads they’ve got working, especially Jenkins & Beekhuis... And “Lyndie-Lyndie” (Lindy Thackston) of which Will of Is it May Yet? Has a great interview with; is actually quite enjoyable to listen too... Especially versus (pun intended) ABC’s Brienne “My Daddy owns a Race Team” Pedigo...

To visit Bob Jenkins brand new website; Click here

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

LeMay Automobile Museum update

As Y’all know, the Global Economy AIN’T exactly in the best ‘O shape at the moment... As the Global Credit crunch continues to tighten its grip around the world’s financial markets, etc.

Thus, as always, in dire times many “Sundry” items such as entertainment, are slashed from everyone’s budgets, as just look at the new Yankee’s “Bazillion’s” Stadium’s premiere seats being vacant, not to mention the much over-lamented downturn of RASSCAR attendance as well as The Arts being dramatically effected on a daily basis.

And thus, with the demise of the Seattle Post Intelligencer, which has become a former shell of itself in its pathetic Online version, I’ve regrettably switched over to The Seattle Times, albeit I prefer the Post Intelligencer’s reporting, but I digress.

Thus I found it somewhat alarming, although not surprising that the LeMay Automobile Museum is currently struggling for financing of its most excellent Museum to be built in Tacoma, WA as the director of the Museum has noted that Donations have simply dried up...

LeMay Automobile Museum $7m Short

Recall, that “Lonestar JR” has been added to the LeMay’s Board of Directors and this project, not to mention the collection of Automobilia is simply too great to let slip by and thus I’d expect as the Mayor of Tacoma seems confident of, funding will indeed go forward for the project, of which I hole heartily agree with and hope this magnificent project reaches its full potential, as its truly an amazing collection and Pacific Northwest treasure!

LeMay Museum

2009 INDY 500 Entry List revealed

Otay race fans; Y’all may have already read this somewhere else on the Blogosphere, eh? But without further ado, IMS has unveiled the 2009 INDY 500 Entry List with a grand total of 40 entries divided up between 28 Drivers for the moment...

And much of the fanfare has already been dolloped out upon us this past weekend in Long Beach, CA and I don’t think there are really any surprises upon the Entry List, with the exception that Marty “TURTLE” Roth has two entries listed, although many including James of 16th and Georgetown have gone to great pains to note that the Speedy Martin isn’t listed as a Driver for either of these... Hmm? Let’s see, John Andretti and Davey Hamilton have already been snapped up by Dreyer & Reinbold Racing, so perhaps will Jay Howard be making an Indianapolis debut?

Also, there are four previous winners along with four Rookie Drivers at the moment... And while Scotty Sharp may take up the Refresher driving allotment, ‘Ol PT was quick to quip during his press conference that he doesn’t think the Speedway allows former winners to do so...

2009 IMS Entry List

Monday, April 20, 2009

Vettel makes good again

Whale, I don’t know about Y’all, but I found this weekend’s Chinese Grand Prix to be a most enjoyable outing, especially since Sebastian Vettel once again put on a masterful driving clinique in the wet stuff at Shanghai... As that ‘Ol Eagles song “There’s a new Kid in Town” comes to mind... But don’t call the youngest ever Formula 1 winner and German Wunderkind “Baby Schuey...” As he AIN’T NO Schuey, eh? So good on you ZEBB to speak your mind!

And I find the SPEED TV Statistician’s to be simply amazing with the facts they come up with so many “Johnny on the Spot.” As it was mentioned over the weekend that it was the first Renault 1-2-3 in qualifying since 1996 and then they proceeded to name the three drivers; Villeneuve, Hill and alesi... Along with mentioning the fact that the young Messer Vettel’s taking maiden victories for two teams was the first such time since some “Wee Scot,” Err Cat named Sir Jackie Stewart had done this feat way back in 1968 and 1970 for which I thought I heard March and Tyrrell?

(As do NOT quote me on these trivia answers since I wasn’t taking notes this weekend as I’m still unbelievably “Under the Weather.” SHEISA!!!)
And although I enjoyed listening to and watching my first Versus Indy Car television broadcast, I have to confess that I simply find the SPEED TV Formula 1 crew to be more enjoyable... As there’s just something to the witticism of “The House ‘O Winsor,” a.k.a. Peter Winsor; who wryly noted that Lord Jenson Button was complaining about being caught in traffic during qualifying this weekend when last year he was the traffic! As JENSE’ was seemingly quite good natured in the post race press conference and retains the Championship points lead...

And isn’t it simply amazing to see how far the mighty Scuderia have fallen this season? As once again Ferrari was blanked from breaking an unbelievable “Duck” in regards to current points tally this season, as its Scuderia Ferrari’s worst season start since 1981!

Team Principle says Ferrari down, but not out

And thus we’re off to Bahrain, where the sand blown oasis offers up what Hobbo affectionately calls “Desert Klag!” As it’ll be the fourth consecutive “Fly-away” event of the season before the teams return home to kick off what’s affectionately known as the “European” season when the ten Constructors will drive their Tractor Trailers to Barcelona for the Spanish Gran Prix, where many hope to come on song a la the shiekish “Double Decker” Diffuser’s and hopefully give Brawn GP and Toyota a run for the considerable dinero they’ve shilled out to play “Catsup...”

Crikey’s Mates! Can you imagine just how good young ZEBB will be when Adrian Newey puts the finishing touches upon the RB5?

Now I’m off to watch a ‘lil Memorex to see what ‘Ol Open Wheel Racing Curmudgeon Robin Miller has to say after having rubbed elbows with Mr. Jeffrey LBGP of My Name is IRL...
UPDATE:Whale although I managed to SCREW-UP the liddle ‘Ol VCR recording times... I do feel a little better knowing that the Chinese blunder of National Anthems during Sunday’s podium celebrations has now been duly noted... As I sat there thinking how odd it was that they were playing Gawd Save the Queen, i.e.; BLOODY ‘Ol Britain’s song instead of the Austrian National Anthem...


China plays WRONG National Anthem
Perhaps they were afraid of ‘ZEBB pulling’ a Michael Schumacher? As we DON’T want NO Stinkin’ German dancing ‘N singing during the National Anthem, eh?

Long Beach Triple Header

Whale there really doesn’t seem like too much I can add to the plethora of race coverage for the Long Beach GP, as both My Name is IRL and So Here’s what I’m thinking had “Live” Race Blogs, not to mention IRLBlog.com’s live reader interactive session...

And it was funny for Mwah to be rooting for a Penske... Albeit the No. 12 Can you hear me now? Phone giant speciale... As I thought it would be fantastic to see Will Power steal back some of Hulio’s thunder this weekend... As he’d once again spoiled Paul Tracy’s festivities... Hello? Hello? Is this thingy on? Where’d everybody go? But I’m gonna be racing the Gecko at Indy this May...

But could we please QUIT these shenanigan’s over ‘Ol PT NOT driving at Toronto & Edmonton... Are they really gonna be that STUPID!?!
And I found it quite amusing how Jon Beekhuis and Robbie “I picked Dario” Buhl don’t seem to let Bob Jenkins talk a whole lot during the race...

Being even more bummed to see Justin “BIG UNIT” Wilson get hammered outta the race... And thus while wanting Power to pass Mr. REO Speedwagon... It soon became evident that Dario Franchitti would indeed give his wife Mrs. Ashley a very nice Birthday present indeed, while the Speed Freaks made a deal with Dario that “The Sarge” would shave his head if Franchitti could make it rain again, win the race and have his wife skipping down Indy’s pit lane in the rain this May...

And better yet; will the Captain stick to his guns and keep Power out of Kansas this coming weekend as the Aussie is the highest placed Penske driver in the Championship...

And speaking of “BIG UNIT’s,” as in Justin Wilson... According to Arie Luyendyk Junior, whose reportedly 6’ 2,” he was marveling on over how in the HE-LL did Justin get his lanky frame inside the cockpit and the fact that his younger brother Stefan who drove in the Firestone Indy Lights race that Mr. Long Beach gave away the winner to during his firestorm reporting sessions this weekend... Is reportedly even taller then Justin at 6’ 5”!

And although I wasn’t amused by the 15min stall session the Speed Freaks made us endure while picking upon David Brabham’s last name... As apparently The Sarge isn’t aware of the fact that David’s father; triple F1 World Champion Sir Jack’s nickname is Black Jack and probably could kick his ASS at this moment, eh?

Thus the non-humorous segway continued on while waiting for Scott Sharp, Brabham and Patron Tequila Girls entourage to arrive at their studio. As it was entertaining to hear that apparently there was a mistake made in the 20-25 second penalty given to the team for apparent pit crew safety equipment violation... Dropping the Highcroft/Patron Acura LMP1 racecar from the race lead, as Sharp claims that after the incident a senior ALMS pit tech said that their crew member wasn’t in violation... Although I doubt that Gil De Ferran and Simon Pagenaud will be stripped of the teams win in the Saturday ALMS race that ended early due to Boris Said catching his GT2 Corvette on fire...

And I find Dario to be extremely entertaining to listen to... As he nailed Kenny Sergeant over Mel Gibson not being a Scot! Along with making some clamour ‘bout Tony Kanaan modifying his bet which you can check out in his Speed freaks interview...

Franchitti on Mullets ‘N Stuff
And Oh Yeah! I forgot that ‘Lil Al won the Toyota Celebrity race along with Keanu “Surfs Up Dude!” Reeves this weekend...

Friday, April 17, 2009

Bloomers; Take 2

Whale apparently all HE-LL broke loose while your Humble Scribe was busy trying to load the Seattle Sounders button picture and then watching the tape of the Chinese GP practice session...

As Y’all will be shocked to learn that once again our hero JENSE’ stuck his (Brawn) “Bee-Gee 01” racecar on provisional pole, with young German Whippersnapper Nico Rosberg being the meat in a Brawnie sandwich, as he was P2 while elder Formula 1 statesman Rubinoe was third quick, with the next two spots going to the Red Bull mono difusser chassis, with Mark “Barbie” Webber besting young Zebb.

Of course the entertaining portion of yesterday’s practice was the fact that Ferrari and McLaren held spots 9-12-13-14, with “KOVY” (Kovalainen) leading the pack ahead of Massa, Hamilton and Raikkonen respectively... With BMW Sauber toiling in P17-18 and Fredrico Suave (F. Alonso) who’d ripped Bridgestone a new orifice over bringing the “super-soft’s” to Shanghai languishing in 19th.

And Ferrari having seen The Iceman suffer three KERS failures in Malaysia decided to dump the system for the Chinese weekend, while I’m not exactly pleased to hear all of the scuttlebutt suggesting that Hamilton Senior somehow helped instigate the Ronster’s demise from McLaren F1, as this seems a nasty way to reward the man who brought your son a World Championship after having inked him to a contract at the tender age of 13, eh?

Yet, I suppose the Rally-Rally-Rally Big News occurred upon the Indy Car side of the Pacific... As I’m guessing Y’all have heard that Hulio has been declared innocent... (Uhm? I’m thinkin’ he’s pulled another fast one here and certainly will be glad he can keep all of those snazzy uniforms, eh?) While Meesh & the Sham-Wow! Amongst others (myself included) will be celebrating Paul Tracy’s arrival... With the announcement that he’ll be driving the No. 15 KVRT entry at Indianapolis this May. While Davey “I Believe” Hamilton has been inked to drive Dreyer & Reinbold’s third Dallara/Honda at the Speedway this May... Now all we need is for the 93rd INDY 500 Entry list to be unveiled, eh?

Oh yeah, according to Will of Is it May yet? Will Power will be in the No. 12 Verizon “Can you hear me now?” Penske at the Speedway, as I’d assume that means that Sam Hornish Jr. will be at Charlotte drinkin’ Coke’s, while there’s NO word on whether or not Milkalicious will be able to find a spare Dallara for some hot laps at Indy this May?


Whale the word “bloomers” came to mind when cleverly tryin’ to think up a title for this rant... As apparently I’m getting most twisted up over the fact that FRILLIN’ Blogger.com doesn’t wish to do any sort of promoting for any of it’s would be adversaries... As I’ve been trying to load a Seattle Sounders button picture for two days now... Which would have been followed by a tiny Versus logo... You know that Comcast owned station that’ll be broadcasting its second Indy Car race this weekend... And like Jeffrey, who’s at the moment in transit to Long Beach, CA; snicker-snicker... I’ve told two friends to please tune-in and watch the Indy Car festivities this Sunday at 12:30PM Pacific... And also set ‘dem recordin’ devices to Versus on Monday at 1PM Pacific for the Firestone Indy Lights replay.

And I’m guessing that Jeffrey’s somewhere on I-10 at the moment, with his various Tony “Follow your Snoz” Kanaan Oh what a feeling beverages ‘N sundries, while I’ve told him to keep an ear peeled to the radio for Cheech’s advertising plugs for the nearby Casino in East L.A.

Now back to the Shanghai Formula 1 action which I managed to record last evening... And somehow I doubt it but my Chinese beer ‘O flavour this weekend will be a Fosters instead as they finally had some on the Grocery store’s shelves today... Hmm? Wonder what beverage ‘O choice the Ronster is partaking in this weekend, eh? Perhaps a little Johnny Walker Black with Mika Hakkinen...


Whale, although new recruit “Rafa” had his baptism under fire upon reportedly taking out Open Wheel’s Diva Princess Danicker on the streets of St Pete, as the irrepressible Darren “Danger Mouse” Manning playfully asked during his Autosport Radio interview Tuesday night: “Did they ever solve whose fault it was?”

Yet, this little nugget has been bouncing around for Mwah ever since I stumbled upon it in an altogether foreign sport to the majority of us Yanks stateside... As it’s known Across the Pond as Foosball... Not to be confused with our ‘lil ‘Ol Pigskin game called Football and thus it’s referred to as Soccer. As the premiere league in the U.S. is the Major League Soccer (MLS) series which has just announced its two newest Franchise members Vancouver, BC and Portland, Oregon for the 2011 Major League Soccer season which will then boast 18 MLS Franchises.

The naming of Vancouver and Portland, of which Seattle Sounders FC co-owner Drew “The Price is Right” Carey has named the “Triangle of Death,” helps resurrect the long ago triumberant and rival sports triangle of Seattle-Portland-Vancouver BC from the glory days of the Sounders, Timbers and Whitecaps during the long forgotten NASL (North American Soccer League) of the 1970’s, of which the Pacific Northwest has a rich tradition in the passion of Soccer... As I’ve for reasons unknown managed to keep a total of seven buttons from the original Sounders team proudly affixed upon my bulletin board all of these years. (What’s that, eh?) As the Sounders FC team has just begun playing in Quest Field, where our Seahawks are wonderin’ if they’ll manage to regain their past glory next season?

And thus I stumbled upon the announcement that:
“Current (Vancouver) Whitecaps owner Greg Kerfoot, a reclusive Vancouver millionaire, heads a power-packed group that paid US$35 million for the (Vancouver MLS) franchise. Joining Kerfoot on the ownership team is NBA star Steve Nash, San Francisco Giants co-owner Jeff Mallett and Boston Celtics co-owner Steve Luczo.”

With particular interest being paid to the final name above; Hmm? That couldn’t be the same Stephen J. Luczo whom is co-owner of an Indy Racing League team with somebody named Jay Penske, could it? You know the latter is the youngest son of somebody known as The Captain, a.k.a. Roger Penske.

This brash duo made its Indy Car debut at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in 2007 with a “Satellite” third Penske entry for soon to become Penske Racing driver Ryan Briscoe, whom at the time was part of Penske Racing’s ALMS Porsche RS Spyder team, before running a partial six race season with Tomas “Rockem Sockem” Scheckter in 2008 without any assistance from Penske.

As in the Steve Luczo who:
“Is chairman of Seagate Technology, the world’s largest hard-drive manufacturer, and a man who moves in interesting circles. He’s part of a Silicon Valley group that owns about one-third of the Boston Celtics, and he also owns a large chunk of the National Lacrosse League’s San Jose Stealth.”

“Luczo, who was not at the (Whitecaps) announcement, surfs, snowboards and mountain bikes and is a songwriter and co-founder of a music company that develops San Francisco artists.”

You see, the Seattle Sounders (1974-83) once were at the pinnacle of professional soccer, as I fondly recall my ‘Ol Man having season tickets for the NASL Franchise whose home pitch was Memorial Stadium, part of the beleaguered Seattle Center and Key Arena where some other team named the Supersonics once inhabited... Before some Yokel JACK ASS named Clay Bennett drug ‘em off to Oklahoma! And thus it was in 1977, when the Seattle Sounders played against the dreaded “Yankee’s” of N. American Soccer, a.k.a the New York Cosmos whose star studded line-up included such names as Pele and Franz Beckenbauer... As the Cosmos would ultimately defeat the Sounders 1-0 for the Championship; known as Soccer bowl, of which would be the Sounders zenith before the NASL slowly faded into obscurity, but I digress...

So it must be nice to be able to dabble in whatever professional sports categories one is interested in, eh? As I’d suggest that while although a relative newcomer to the Indy Car Series, Luczo Dragon Racing certainly has the financial resources to run a full time two car team if so desired and two fairly astute and savvy financial experts at its helm.

Hence, I’d look for LCR to go places in the future and perhaps you’ll wanna pull over next time Rafa’s coming up fast to overtake you Danica...

Whitecap’s All-star cast of owners seal the deal

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Clover pennies

Something ‘bout the Tax Man comes to mind today... Ah, where’s George Harrison when yuhs needs him, eh? As there’s NO Tea Bagging going on here! Especially since Urban Dictionary paints a different view of the terminology, eh?

They brainwashed my great uncleBrainwashed my cousin BobThey even got my grandma when she wasworking for the mobBrainwash you while you're sleepingWhile you're in a traffic jamBrainwash you while you're weepingWhile still a baby in your pramBrainwashed by the MilitaryBrainwashed under duressBrainwashed by the mediaYou're brainwashed by the pressBrainwashed by computerBrainwashed by mobile phonesBrainwashed by the satelliteBrainwashed to the boneBrainwashed; Lyrics and song by George Harrison
And speaking of Brainwashing, Err Courtroom Hi-jinx, I find it rich that the lawyer representing Ferrari in Diffuser-Gate accused Ross Brawn of being Arrogant... Something about the kettle calling the pot black, eh? As fortunately the FIA has ruled in favour of the Diffuser teams Brawn, Toyota and Williams by deeming their “Double Decker” Diffusers to be legal and discarding the arguments and appeals filed by Ferrari, Renault, Red bull and BMW Sauber... And thus, I’m assuming that the said teams above plus the remaining non “Double Stuff” Diffuser teams will commence obligatory hashing about of rear Diffuser appendages toot sweet! And perhaps even some of the “Big Four” teams may fly in upgrade kits this weekend in Shanghai? As the ruling means that JENSE’ keeps his two victories and his points lead in the F1 World Championship, while Brawn GP has done the unthinkable and won the first two Grand Prix’s in a row by a new team since the inception of the modern day Formula 1 Championship when Alfa romeo did likewise in 1950.

Next up is the deliverance of McLaren’s radio follies... In which I believe that the team and Louise “JAGUAR” Hamilton should be thrown out of a said minimum of races for their ludicrous transgressions... I mean C’mon, wouldn’t the FIA, Max ‘N Bernie throw the book at Herr Schumacher?

Meanwhile in Key Biscayne, Err Miami Florida, where I’m told that its hard to get a sun tan whilst trolling the hallways of Federal Courtrooms, the Hulio jury has asked for further clarification upon tax codes from the Judge as well as transcripts of certain Tax professionals as its deliberations continue on as Y’all await anxiously the outcome of Hulio’s latest Dancin’ contest. As I’d assume he’ll not be taking part in this weekend’s Long Beach Grand Prix, which like Jeffrey... You really should tell your neighbors to give Versus and Indy Cars a try this weekend, eh?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Judgment Day

Today in Paris, the FIA will decide the fates of the three alleged Difusser’s, Err Diffuser teams: Brawn GP, Toyota and Williams, whom have been alleged by Ferrari, Renault, Red Bull and BMW Sauber of having “Illegal” rear barn doors, Err bodywork that has skated the spirit of the technical rules...

Me thinks this is purely sour grapes and I personally hope that the FIA does NOT give into the wishes of those “Large-esqe” teams bellyaching over NOT having cleverly interpreted the rules... Of which all teams have had the same amount of time to do so... And one more thing I’d like to point out, I believe that all three teams in question, i.e.; Brawn, Toyota and Williams are NOT currently campaigning the optional KERS system... Hence I’d suggest that their pace is solely not due to their “Double Decker” Derri-ay’s... But the culmination of the entire aero package coupled with the judicious placement of said ballast, eh?

As I find it most amusing that the Scuderia is off to its worst season start since 1992 and its Technical Manager Luca Baldisserri is spending the week in Maranello instead of traveling to Shanghai, while the Ronster and Co. are seemingly having trouble with keying their radios to the proper frequencies...

Monday, April 13, 2009

Easter nuggets

Whale Boo Hoo Hoo... Sounds like Hulio was cashin’ in on his Hollywood theatrics this past Friday... Sob, Sob... Damn those acting lessons have paid off, eh? As Robin Miller noted that the Government has a 97% CONVICTION RATE when it decides to go after someone for tax evasion...

Haven’t read Jeffrey reporting’ from the Valley of the Sun upon Princess Danicker getting any speeding tickets over the weekend in her Gold Mercedes while racing over to Russell Stover’s to bite the heads off of some Easter Bunnies... Or whether or not she stomped outta the store when told they were outta the said bunnies?

Meanwhile, a few of her fellow competitors were hunting for Cadbury crème eggs in the newest hot spot racetrack known formally as Portimao, the Algarve circuit of Portugal, Where “Bia” (Ana Beatriz) was busy taking part in the Rookie Drivers sessions of this weekend’s Portugal round of the A1GP Championship after having been invited to drive for Team Brazil by Emerson Fittipaldi... Remember him? He’s the dude that reportedly dropped the dime on Hulio’s tax case after getting dumped in favour of The Captain’s Marlboro “Smokey Smokes” Indy Car ride.

And Marky-Marc, a.k.a. Marco Andretti was busy rubbin’ noses, Err wheels with Vitantonio Luzzi over fourth place during the Feature race... As Luzzi who reportedly has a deal to race for Force India in Formula 1 in 2010 scored Team Italy’s very first pole position over the weekend before the two young lion’s crashed out of the race and DNF’ed.

Also snatching a pole for the Feature race was Graham Rahal’s teammate “Bad Bobby D,” as Doornbos went onto score his first win in the Sprint Race for Team Netherlands, before according to The Speed Report’s Ralph Sheheen; “Ran outta Quarters.” As his car failed to start for the Feature race... NO word if this had something to do with Doornbos trying to make a hasty getaway with Graham’s golden McNuggets? As apparently Doornboses comments about making Fireworks for Team Netherlands were to prove most prophetic as some Macdougal’s secret sauce apparently lit the car on fire...

Meanwhile ex-Champ Car competitor Neal Jani who was part of the Red Bull brigade, driving for yet to be Yank Kevin “Smiley Face” Kalkhoven... Managed to retain his and Team Switzerland’s slight championship point’s lead by notching his tenth A1GP victory during the Feature race Sunday, which is the most wins by anybody in the series history... As the Easter Bunny granted Jani two golden eggs...

UOWWBA Weekly Question

"With the lack of cars, how many cars do you expect at Indy this year?"

Whale, this week my answer’s gonna be pretty week... Especially since I think I’ve become a preferred stock member of the Nyquil “Put you in a coma” Nighttime cough medicine... Yep, I’m still recovering from a nasty case ‘O croop-itus, and thus, as Matt “Sham-Wow!” Chamois of the Other Side has already done the heavy lifting with his recapping of the potential IMS entry list...


And the fact that my math may be slightly obscured from the bottles ‘O Nyquil... As I’m having trouble getting to the hoped for 40 cars I’m gonna skip trying to reinvent the wheel so to speak... Although I thing Brian “I.H.J.” Braveheart’s comments of 35-36 cars sounds like another TEMPID “BOOMP DAY” to me... And the only driver who’s name seems to be outta the limelight is Davey “I Believe” Hamilton’s HP sponsored ride, as we’ve already heard all of the hoopla over the King, John Andretti and Scotty “Patron” Sharp... Although I’m left ponderin’ who in the heck could be Sarah Fisher’s teammate, eh? As I’m pondering’ whether or not perhaps this is just a back-up mule?

And according to Open Wheel curmudgeon Robin Miller on Dave Despain’s Wind Tunnel last night... Miller teased us all by saying that both Davey Hamilton and Paul “The Dream” Tracy should both be making splashes this weekend at Long Beach...

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Easter Bunny

May the Easter Bunny bring the IRL another 0.3 (Squared) audience share for the Long Beach weekend... Along with 40 enteries for this year’s 93rd running of the Indy 500 and a ride for Paul Tracy with KV Racing Technology and “Captain K’s” squad!

Mmm! Sprinkles...

Three’s company

Whale, by now perhaps you know that Firestone Indy Lights Rookie Junior Strous Captured a very rare double header “clean sweep” pair of victories during the season opening rounds at St Petersburg, Florida last weekend... Driving for one of the little, under funded teams of the sport... Running under the guidance of Paul Diatlovich’s PDM Racing organization which runs the operational portion of the racing program for Jon Lewis and Rick Nelan’s ASR/Nelan Winner’s Circle Group Racing Team, as apparently the Winners Circle Group Firestone Indy Lights team is an offshoot of last season’s American Spirit Racing Team, which campaigned easy on the eyes Swiss FIL Rookie Cyndie Alleman under the direction of Diatlovich, who served as the team’s Crew Chief.

All I seem to recall about Junior Strous, is his most entertaining interview last year upon the Speed Freaks after having run down some would –be crooks trying to rob his parents Shell gasoline station back home in the Netherlands... Hence the Shell V-Power sponsorship on his No. 18 I’m guessing?

Junior Strous – Hey You, STOP!

Yet the ex-Atlantic racer from the Netherlands has just joined the rarified company of past Indy Lights Champions Alex Lloyd and “Rafa” (Rafael) Matos as the only three drivers to win double header race weekends at St. Pete in the series, which isn’t too shabby of a way to begin your season, eh?

And listening to a very humble Paul Diatlovich on Autosport Radio this past Tuesday, it was nice to hear a little bit more of what Arie Luyendyk Jr. had mentioned during the Versus race rebroadcast Monday afternoon, that the teams Chief Race Engineer was none other than his father’s Indy 500 winning engineer Tim Wardrop... Who as the abnormally sedate Mike “Yippee Kye Aae” King noted; knew a thing or two about going fast at the Speedway...

Thus I was momentarily stunned to hear Diatlovich divulge to Donald Kay that Mr. Wardrop, who even Darren “Danger Mouse” Manning warmly greeted as “Doctor Who” while I was hanging’ out in Speedway, Indiana had been severely sick last year and almost didn’t make it... Hmm? Dare I speculate on this, Nah... Ain’t my biz’ eh?

Doctor Who

So, its seemingly good news all around for Mr. Diatlovich and his merry tight knit group of hard core racers at PDM Racing, as although it’s a long ways to go until the end of the season with perennial powerhouses Sam Schmidt Motorsports and AFS Racing/ Andretti Green Racing most certainly to be heard from in the races to come... Yet, you just gotta root a little for Winners Circle Group/PDM Racing, especially when Mr. Diatlovich states that their dream plan is to graduate into the “Big Carzs” ranks next year with Junior Strous as the team’s pilot of choice...

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Cry me a river

Whale, without going into Too Much Info, (TMI) as I’m still lounging about in my sickbed trying to cough up the remains of my lungs... Having found it most entertaining that upon bumping into the St Pete replay on Versus on Tuesday night? That the soothing sounds ‘O bob Jenkins voice immediately put me to sleep... Although I must confess the same thing happened while watching the Formula 1 Qualifying session via Memorex... And there’s absolutely NOTHIN’ better then spending the entire day in bed while the FRILLIN’ Gardening crew spends the whole day blasting away with multiple leaf blowers, chainsaws and lawn mowers as grass shards hit the windows outside... While junior is busy playing bouncy ball upstairs today, eh? WHAAA!!!

Thus, I really haven’t spent any serious amount ‘O time at le confUZer and the Boob-tube seems to be doing its job as the talking heads manage to promptly put me under... Yet I’ll throw in my two cents over the TV ratings demise of the weekend...

As I had the following conversation with my soon to be 90yrs old Aunty Harriet, who’s enlisted me to be her television guide for upcoming racing events... “When are the Big Boyzs gonna be on?” Having given her the dope on Sunday’s trifecta... And I thank you Sir for telling me the race info... Which is at noon tomorrow? Nope it’s at 11AM... On that channel; which is what number? 12? Whale you're close... Oh what # is it? 33... As ironically there were three races being aired at the same time Sunday: RASSCAR on FOX, Formula 1 on SPEED and Indy Car on Versus all at 11AM Pacific...

And you really DON’T wanna get me started on comca$t... Which I’ve rightfully ripped it a new ARSEHOLE as I’ve been forced to go back into the dark ages due to their bait ‘N switch practices over the DIG-it-TULL switchover which required my getting a shiny new box after they’ve advertised for over 6mos that I’d need to due Nothing for the upcoming changeover... So I can understand how others would be less then willing to pay MORE for Comcast’s KRAPY upgrades as they’ve managed to become the micro-SOFT of television land... Oh-My-Gawd... Do you think my cable service will go out now?

Du-duin’ the comca$t shuffle

Yet, as I sat down at 10AM Saturday morning to watch the F1 Qualifying action I'd taped from the night before... And once again the muted wail of those F1 cars put me fast asleep... Waking up around noon just in time to see that JENSE had snatched his 2nd consecutive pole this season... But I found it so funny to see Nico Rosberg being interviewed on TV, since he had to sit next to Aunty Harriet from Indy to Chicago a few years ago after having raced at the Speedway... As Harriet asked him; who are you kid? You've got kinda a funny accent...

Hey, I know! I’ll go watch people spend too much money on clapped out Muscle Cars from somewhere in Florida on the SPEED Channel, eh?

Whale, isn’t that special? I just got a call from Susie... Comcast’s automated voice messenger informing me that if I didn’t have a shiny new DIG-it-TULL Box attached to all of my home’s Telescreens by April 14th, then I’d be losing my digital channels numbers 30-74 + others and my bill would be revised to show the lost channels in the future... I tell yuhs? Doesn’t the shiny new box in my living room tell ‘dem what’s goin’ on here’s or WTF? Are they just trying to make me’s goes KRAZY? Ha-Ha-Ha-Haa-Haa-Haa-Haaaaaaa.......

Monday, April 6, 2009

Groundhog Day?

Whale... Due to unforeseen circumstances... Which Y’all are probably thinkin’ (Think Pink?) Man that Dude sure has a lotta excuses... As I’m not sure what’s more amazing... Having waited all winter long and then being unexpectedly occupied on the very first two Open Wheel Racing race weekends or the outcome of the very first two Formula 1 races of the season, eh? And thus after an all day excursion to the Doctor’s office... I missed the very first ever Versus Indy Car TV broadcast and didn’t manage to finish watching my tape of Kuala Lumpur’s Malaysian Grand Prix until 11PM last night as the tape cut out while the National Anthem’s were being played! So, NO race winners interviews...

Having awoken an hour early Saturday... As the live Indy Car Qualifying was slated for 7:45AM Pacific; “Left Coast time,: all I could do was laugh momentarily as a “Hoosieronian” voice cooed over the internets: This is the IMS Radio Network, live Indy Car Qualifying has been delayed slightly due to the Firestone Indy Light Quals running late... Please stand by on the Streams and we’ll begin as soon as possible... As I briefly thought? Oh NO! Jeffrey and Will musta angered ‘Old Mother Cupboard and made it rain?

So anyways, your humble scribe is definitely under the weather... Which is ironic since we’re having the first taste ‘O Summer here in the Pacific Northwest... Albeit still some 20-25 degrees less than Kuala Lumpur... (Hey! Can you say Monsoon?) As we’re definitely in uncharted territory here... ACK! Can the thermometer really be above 60 degrees?

Thus, I’ll be taking it easy for a few days as I await the effects of the Doctor prescribed tranquilizers dissipating and furiously ham-er (it-up?) away at ze keebored... As hopefully my knucel’s don’t gets toe much in DUH way... Now its off to LaLa land and then back to le ‘Ol School tappin machine as I managed to set my Shiny New Boxes commands “Just-in-Time” to record last nights, Err this mornings Speed Report and Wind Tunnel... As it only hurts when I laugh, eh?

Thankem Goodness ‘dat meez ‘lil clock radio doesn’t Pickem-up that Sonny ‘N Cher station...”I’ve got you Babe!”

And I did hear via Dave Despain’s “Last Call?” Last night, that there’ll be an interesting new article today in the Miami Herald over some new Hulio developments which could throw a monkey wrench in his defense?

And I sure wished that Justin Wilson could have given Dale Coyne his much deserved and long overdue inaugural Indy Car victory yesterday instead of one of duh “Big Three” snatching the checkers.... YAWN!

GItter Done!

F1’s Danica factor?

I find it most intriguing that Formula 1 seems to be suffering a bit of Danica-itus at the moment... As current Formula 1 Driver’s weight has apparently become an issue. As first the Aussie Mark Webber has called for adjustments and now BMW Sauber has chimed in during the weekend of the season’s opening race, as apparently the non mandatory usage of KERS in F1 this year is causing drivers to go on the Slim Fast plan in order to give team engineers the ultimate freedom in ballast positioning...

Currently Formula One chassis have a minimum weight allowance of 605 kilos, (1,320lbs) with the KERS system reportedly weighing in between 35-40 kilos (80lbs) and with the tight confines of a modern F1 chassis, apparently it’s a most challenging packaging exercise.

Professor Steve Matchett noted that the teams are stuck with trying to shove the whole darn thing underneath the fuel tank, not to mention the unique problems surrounding battery storage, safety and serviceability... Recall that last year “Truly Scrumptious” (Jarno Trulli) suffered a retirement from the Australian Grand Prix due to an exploding battery located underneath his seat, due to the venues excessive heat, as many were quick to point out the term Hot Bot...

Thus reportedly the majority of drivers including Kimi Raikkonen and Fernando Alonso have all lost wait to further help the engineers in their quest to build the lightest car possible and then strategically re-ballast it, as BMW Sauber decided to run its Kinetic Energy Recovery system on “Quick Nick’s” (Heidfeld) car only, as the German was diminutive enough to not pose a weight issue, while the taller bean Pole-ish “Krakow Kid,” a.k.a. Robert Kubica was not running the controversial system due to his larger mass, as Matchett noted how Red Bull Racing had gone to brand new driver suit materials to save a mere three ounces.

Thus both Webber and Dr. Mario theisen have called for the FIA to increase the minimum weight limit as they claim that the larger drivers are being penalized due to their taller and theoretically larger physique’s... Which caused me to recall Robby “Dirtmann” Gordoun’s boisterous outcry over Danica Patrick having an unfair advantage in Indy Car due to her Lilliputian size...

Friday, April 3, 2009

The King sans Fenders?

Although I originally read about Richard Petty’s potentially entering a ride for Gentleman John Andretti in this years upcoming Indy 500 over at My Name is IRL... The news seemed too good to pass up after Marc of Full Throttle sent me an email informing me that The King was going Fenderless? (Hence the inspiration for the title above...) Although I swear I heard ‘Ol Gentleman John on the Speed Freaks after Day-toner claimin’ he’d enticed the owners of his Sun Shader Window Film sponsor to give Indy a try this year... So, perhaps it was a No Brainer if Andretti already had the sponsor in hand... And that’s a nice little pick-me-up for the D & R chaps after having been previously spurned by Milka, eh? So Gollee.... I’ll have-duh keep a sharp eye out for King Richard this May while inline for some of ‘dem world class Tenderloin sandwiches, eh?

Petty makes owner leap into Indy 500
So, now who will Milkalicious be driving for at Indy? Hmm? Perhaps Three Guys and a Milka at Dreyer & Reinbold Racing. (Conway, Danger Mouse and Gentleman John) Nah! Oh Mr. Buhl there’s a Roger Yasukawa on line three for yuhs. Not now! I'm busy doin' a TV show...

Thanxs Marc

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Graham Rahal Roaring to go racing

Thanks to Versus, recently I had the unique opportunity of conversing with Indy Car pilot Graham Rahal, along with fellow Bloggers Chris “CHiPs” Estrada (Indy Racing Revolution) and Will (Is it May Yet?) to name just a few...

You may know by now? That the young Messer Rahal, whom has recently turned a whopping 20yrs old and is affectionately known as the “Son ‘O Stash,” which I’m told that just like Punxsutawney Phil, only comes out once a year... As you may wish to see the great rendering Will rolled out recently...

It only happens once a Year
And Graham was his usual outgoing self and a pleasure to talk to... Even if I was a bit unsure of what to exactly ask him, since it’s certainly NOT something I get to do on a daily basis, as the very last driver I spoke to briefly was Darren Manning at McGilvrey’s in Speedway, IN back in July, 2007.

To listen to the Podcast, click here

Hamilton sent packing

Lewis Hamilton, the reigning Formula 1 world Champion has been excluded from his third place finish in Australia, after it was deemed that he and McLaren weren’t totally forthcoming when discussing the events between him and Jarno Trulli, who now is reinstated in third place and Hamilton scores zero point’s Down Under...

Hamilton Excluded from Australian GP

Versus “Super-sizes” Indy Car coverage

As Y’all probably know, Comcast owned Versus Network, which has acquired the lion’s share of Indy Car television coverage in a 10yr pact with IMS, will be doing the unthinkable... Starting this season by hosting an outrageous 7hrs of TV broadcasting per week during its inaugural Indy Car season, with expanded race coverage beginning this weekend at St. Pete...

And as great as this is, I’m more intrigued by the opportunity of getting to watch the Firestone Indy Lights races being aired on Monday evening’s, since after all, hopefully this feeder series will eventually produce the next wave of Indy Car piloto’s racing the “Big Cars.”

The Versus Indy Car race coverage begins at 11AM Pacific and the Firestone Indy Lights replay is on Monday at 3PM Pacific.

You can learn more about all of this at: Verses.com.
Check it out...

St Pete Entry list

Whale its finally here, as this weekend will see the Indy Car’s finally roar back into action after the exceedingly long winter break has passed... Look for 22 cars to take the green flag on Sunday. You can check out Jeff of My Name is Champ Car, (How many of yuh noticed that yesterday?) Err, IRL entry list for all of the drivers racing this weekend, although Darren Manning was confirmed yesterday as the driver of the No. 23 Dreyer & Reinbold Racing entry, thus swelling the car count to 22, while there’ll potentially be a few more at Long Beach...

St. Pete Entry list - Headcount

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

2009 Camaro Pace Car spied

In an effort to distract us from the news that CEO Rick Wagoner has been fired, General Motors has released the very first pic’s of this years IMS Pace Car, with a GM Spokesperson claiming they’d gone for a “Retro” look, having found that the majority of their 40-something target audience really liked the original Z28 styling... And the folks over at Mattel will be able to dust off their old tooling, while Tommy Kendall will be this year’s honorary pilot, as the Californian has always wanted to drive at Indy...

Indy Car ranks swelling

With less than 48hrs until the roar of Honda “Lumps” coming to life in St. Petersburg, while the economy continues to sour, more ‘N more last minute deals are being struck with wayward Indy Racing League teams, as one Anonymous sponsor said: “Well, we can certainly get away with spending a HELLA of a LOT LESS over here then in RASSCAR...

RLR’s newest recruit
Making a last minute switch from NHLR, “Milka-licious” has been enticed to drive the Rahal Letterman Racing’s No. 17, which will be sponsored by Chiquita Bananas... As Bobby Rahal noted: “Whale we certainly had a lotto yellow paint left over from last year’s sponsor and we wanted to show just how much we’re disappointed over losing our Ethanol sponsorship to some sucar beat company! We’d have announced the deal sooner but we had to wait until all of the double zero’s had been changed to the number 17 on Milka’s Hand towels...

Squeaky clean Conquest?Rumours are swirlin’ in from Up North, Eh? That late to the dance ICS piloto “TAG;” Alex Tagliani is to be sponsored by Zest deodorant soap and will be driving the No. 34 “Zestfully Clean Machine.”

A Proctor & Gamble spokesperson said that they’d originally looked into an associate tie-up with Tony G’s Vision Racing’s No. 20 Edward Carpentier... But were a bit leery of his occasional F-Bomb droppings and decided to go with a “Kuh-nuck” since they’re so much more pleasant...

Diamond in the Rough?Apparently OWR soothsayer Robin Miller was a bit quick on his prediction over Acura pulling out of the American Le Mans Series... Although speculation is rampant that Takuma Sato will indeed race at Indianapolis this May as a second car entered by Rubicon Racing... As Taku will partner with Mario “Boom Boom” Dominguez as supposedly Buddy “Hot Rod” Rice is taking his Root Beer Sundae’s and Jordache Jeans to tag team with Townsend Bell’s Billy WRapps entry, of witch are both being prepared by Derrick Walker out of the old Marty “Turtle” Roth shops in Indianapolis.

While Dominguez will sport Avocado Growers de Mexico backing, Takuma will be flying the flag for Mr. Chang’s Tempura Fish Bar. Hmm? What’s with all of the food dealies? As I’d rally-rally-rally go for a Hamburger today, Err, Somebody get me a Cheesburger! Oh Never Mind...

Team 3G now Two Guys and a bunch of OwnersStanton Barrett, who as a rookie this year is seeking some guidance in his Indy Car pursuit, has enticed Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter to “Man-up” with his newly formed Team 3G squad in an effort to run closer to the front of the pack.

Tomas is an excellent driver and has a wealth of experience and should really be a volatile, Err valuable addition to our fledgling team. And with rumours rampant that Tomas might be taking his $2.2m personal cheque to our competition, we thought it imperative to let others know to keep their hands off of our Eggo, Err Tomas!

Sources claim that his No. 86 Dalara/Honda will be sponsored by “The Roc” and Hasbro... Which Umph? Ironically seems fitting since some additional pieces may be required... Like spare Half-shafts, eh?

Tracy to race after all
Finally, Paul Tracy has managed to inked a partial season ride with Andretti Green Racing for 2009, as Mr. Chrome Horn will become AGR’s fith wheel, Err, fifth spoke in an impressive armada of Andretti Green racecar’s, as team boss “Mikey” Andretti said it’s the least we could do to help our bottom line for the upcoming Toronto race.

Yet, since I’m busy now telling Princess Danicker when to push the loud pedal, we’ve decided to use a novel approach with PT running a single car outta the AFS/AGR stable in selected events beginning at Indianapolis this May.

AGR’s spokesperson Cyndi Lauper said;
“We think that Paul Tracy will be a great fit with our team and obviously will run in all three of the Canadian events this year, along with a handful of other selected Ovals, starting with Indy.”
Look for Tracy to be behind the wheel of the No. 99 Subway/Monster Dallara/Honda Indy Car, as apparently those Subway sandwiches were just too fresh to pass up once again, as Kevin Saavery claims they’re a good compliment with Tony Kanaan’s 7/11’s home brewed coffee and assorted beverages... While Mikey could be heard saying “Oh Thank Heaven’s for Subway paying PT’s salary!”

Mmm, Mmm, Fresh!

Happy April FOOLS Day Y’all!