Wednesday, July 31, 2019

No Fenders Road Show

On The Road Again, as Sing It Johnny!

Yeah, I can feel All of your Dismay over your Humble No Fenders Scribe Tomaso currently being in thou midst "O another Gory Holiday Mates! As Bloody Hell,  he takes almost as much time Off as the Speed Freaks do; Hya!

AnyHoo, just a very brief Jot' as 'Ol F1 Grizzled Journo' Joe Saward would type, to let Yuhs know that I'm currently away from thou Keyboard of my trusty Selectric' here on Nofendersville, and will return sometime after August 4th, when my latest round 'O company Departs.

As certainly Y'all can find Somme-thun' in thoust Voluminous No Fenders Archives to Tide Y'all over 'til I return, Righto?

Whilst I'll leave Y'all in Stitches with Thee most Hilarious Joke my local Freddy's' Grocery Cashier told me recently.

Why Didn't Mozart like having Chickens out in His Front Yard?

Because they went Bach-Bach-Bach-Bach-Bach! Bach-Bach-Bach-Bach-Bach!

Hurry Bach-Bach-Bach Y'all; Hya!

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

No More BeeGee Dancin' for Jense'

Although He's still doing some Boogie Nights Moves, presumably?

Just a very brief Jot', as Bloody 'Ol F1 Grizzled Journo' Joe Saward would say... About Bloody 'Ol Jense', nee Jenson Button. Having listened to thou story from Reuters 'bout Button possibly having driven his 2009 Formula 1 World Championship mount, Thee Brawn BGP 001 for the very last time at this year's British Grand Prix.

As the car owned by Ross Brawn ran some Demonstration laps at Silverstone with Button behind the wheel, in what sounds like it might be the last time the 2009 Formula 1 World Champion gets to drive his '09 F1 Championship winning chassis? (#BGP 001-02)

Since according to the story, the Brawn BGP 01 in Questione is the only remaining chassis with a functional Gearbox, not to mention that the Carbon Fibre suspension Uprights are no longer produceable, with Thar Molds being Chucked long ago.

Meanwhile, it's funny how I still recall that Jense' needed to file a lawsuit against Mercedes, who'd taken over the Formula 1 team from Ross Brawn, after he'd previously Contractually agreed Button could keep one of the three BGP 001 chassis if he won that year's F1 Championship.

Although Funny how Button laments in the Reuters article how he didn't know he was getting a car without any gearbox internals... Or as 'Ol Hobbo' (David Hobbs) would say, A Gearbox Full 'O Neutrals; Hya!

Friday, July 26, 2019

INDYCAR: More Thoughts upon Iowa, Heat, Glare and Cockpit Temps

As wasn't it Bloody 'lil Syd Viddle', aka Sebastian Vettel who complained 'bout getting Dizzy when testing an early Red Bull Formula 1 Air screen prototype?

Now before Y'all get into a lather over the forthcoming 2020 INdyCar Airscreen, I'm Not intending to lampoon, criticize or bemoan the fact that Indy Cars will look radically different next year. After all, look how much effect my Bangin' on 'bout Halo got me...

Nope, instead, and surely; Hey, Don't Call me Shirley; Hya! Many people with much smarter minds than Mwah at IndyCar, Dallara and Red Bull Advance Technologies are already aware of these, and presumably other potential issues I cannot see or Think of, regarding the forthcoming Airscreen.

According to All the Shiny, Glossy PR Speak Hyperbole, this more robust Airscreen incorporates the Best of Both Worlds, i.e.; Windscreen and Halo. And it's proprietary "Polycarbonate" windshield has an Anti-glare coating, along with Heating element to prevent against Fogging-up.

Yet what I Don't understand is why was IndyCar willing to race at Iowa in such Blinding lighting conditions? As I'm Blind, but could actually see how F%%KING' Bright it was from Conor Daly's Onboard camera! Like I mean I just saw a completely bright Banana Yellow Television screen and Nothing else: Aye Karumba!

And let's not forget how Bloody Hot it was at Iowa until Mother Nature let go with a torrential Lightning Storm just before going Green! As I Don't remember what Driver they were talking about during the IMSA Lime Rock Sports Car race, but they were mentioning how the Driver's "Cool Suit" or "cool Helmet" Device had Quit Working and they were trying to get the Driver to Flip Circuit Breakers whilst in the midst of a car race; SHEISA!

As I only bring this up since pretty sure that a Hotter Cockpit was one of Scott Dixon's comments when testing the earlier PPG Industries version of Indy Cars "Aero screen."

And although this new 2020 Airscreen reportedly has a small Cooling "Duct" built into it, or does It? Since IndyCar says Dallara will offer a Cooling Option for Drivers...

Thus, will IndyCar Drivers now need to run some sort of Cool Suit next year? Which are fine until they Quit Working and then begin just circulating Hot Water!

And how will the issue of looking thru a windshield covered with multiple "Tear Offs," if so incorporated? Effect IndyCar Drivers vision in such Abysmal lighting conditions, be it Uber Bright or running in the Rain?

As will said Cooling Duct funnel unwanted water into the Cockpit and potentially Disturb various Electronics?

As Inquiring Minds wanna Know All of this, plus presumably more, since we're about to embark on the era of Non Open Wheel Racing racecars next year...

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Moon's Gravity ripples over Iowa, Heats Up Lime Rock while Waves Churn Away in Florence

The Apollo 12 crew (from left) Pete Conrad, Richard Gordon, and Alan Bean show off their Corvettes’ paint scheme, designed, in part, by Bean. (Ralph Morse / The LIFE Picture Collection / Getty Images; Image source:
Since isn't good 'Ol Mother Nature somewhat intertwined with thou Moon, along with thoust Oceans? Like thou Mighty Pacific that rumbles nearby My Bungalow By-the-Sea...

And to think a Decade ago, some Hipster' by the name Edwin "buzz" Aldrin, Jr. was singing his rendition of I'm just a Rocket Man! With Buzz being ably assisted by Snoop Dog-dog's & Co. Showcased in this Behind the Scenes excerpt...

Yesiree Bob, since Bob's your Uncle After all, El Correctomundo? I'm sure for All of us whom sat thru Thee entirety of NBC Sports Network's (NBCSN) 8hrs 'O Riveting Motorsports TV Coverage... Botta-Boom, Cymbol Crash please!

As I hadn't planned originally upon watching; Err listening to either thou Riveting IndyCar Pre-race Preamble, or the IMSA Sports Car Nightcap following the Iowa Corn 400 but!

Inexplicably I found myself warming Thy Telescreen up round Twenty-to-Four PM Pacific and was surprised to hear 'Ol Walldinger'; Err A.J. allmendinger in the Booth with PT' and Leigh Diffey. Which made sense since (Townsend) T-Bell' was busy racing his GTD Lexus racecar at Lime Rock Park.

Thus I was momentarily Cornfuzed' over what that tap-tap-tapping noise was whilst 'Ol r', Thee Curmudgeon 'O Indy Cars, aka Robin Miller was, as he was busy interviewing some Driver. Before guessing it must be Hail from the Mega Weather Cell passing thru Iowa Speedway as Diffey chimed in they were in a Holding pattern due to the massive Lightning Storm the track was experiencing!

Before they astutely switched us at 4:05PM (Pacific) to the Pre-recorded IMSA Weathertech SportsCar race, which featured Rick Allen, Calvin Fish and Professor B', aka Jon Beekhuis in the Commentary Booth, with another of my favourites, Brian Till making up half of the Pitlane Reporters tandem.

Appropriately, since July 20th marked the 50th Anniversary of Uhm? Some History being made A Universe Away... The Magnus Racing Lamborghini Huracan GT3 Evo GT Daytona (GTD) Class racecar which normally sports the No. 44, was running a very eye catching Saturn V Rocket livery adorning the #11 instead, in Honour of Apollo 11's Historic Moon landing 50 years ago.

As Buzz Aldrin, now 89 is the Elder Statesman of the four surviving Astronauts to Walk upon The Moon...

Alas, as many IndyCar Drivers were doing in Iowa, somewheres' near the middle of the race, I found Thyself watching the Insides of my eyelids due to the soothing tomes of racing engines shrieking by on thou Telie'; CRIKEYS!

Whilst the Tintop Boyz' toiled in 97 Degrees (Fahrenheit) ambient with a Heat Index of 110deg-F; SHEISA! I was Uber pleased that Ryan Briscoe, along with Co-Driver "Westie," nee Richard Westbrook brought Thar CGR #67 Ford GT home P1, after Westbrook made the pass for the lead with six minutes remaining!

Since every time I think of Briscoe, I immediately recall my lone meeting with him at Mother Speedway Wayback in 2013, when he was so amiable to Mwah, graciously chatted One-on-One for nearly 10mins, making me feel extremely important! All while he was trying to observe his team, the very same Chip Ganassi Racing (CGR) outfit he still drives for outcome in that year's Indy 500 Pitstop Challenge.

As the win was Ford's first of the season, and snapped the Porsche's win-streak of five consecutive W's..

Then there was nearly two hours more of Track Clean-up, as apparently the "Weepers" in Turn 4 weren't co-operating, before the engines roared and the Green Flag waved around 8:52PM, (Pacific) nearly 11PM local time - after six Pace-laps to ensure All the Drivers knew the track's condition.

As it seemed like Mother Nature was trying to Hit IndyCar on the Head, after the universal sentiments of the Drivers saying it wasn't a true Night Race, being originally slated to begin at 6:40PM Central Time, which had many concerned over how Horrific the setting Sunlight was going to be, literally causing the Drivers to be Blind in one of the corners!

As Hopefully IndyCar and the Iowa Speedway will get thou Memo and make next year's race a true Night Race, i.e.; underneath the lights, perhaps beginning at sunset instead of 11PM Central...

But the race was definitely worth waiting up for, as even Colton Herta got-in on the Jokes by saying yes, He was Old enough to Stay Up for the Night race prior to action commencing; Yuk-Yuk-Yuk! Which included a half hour Red Flag period for a passing shower.

Since although Josef Newgarden thoroughly Dominated the race. Putting a Stranglehold upon it by leading some 240-plus laps! Nonetheless, Thar was non-stop action, as Tyre Deg' (Degradation) certainly did its job. Along with Scott Dixon coming from nowhere to finish runner-up and Thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown', aka James Hinchcliffe notching his first podium of the season in third.

Along with the impressive showing by FAST EDDIE's', aka Ed Carpenter Racing Team, before the Boss (Ed Carpenter) Smacked thou Wall! Although Spencer Pigot recorded his first Top-5 finish of the year.

Not to mention the Thrill Show Pupster' Santino Ferruci put on with his High-line is the Right-line High-wire Act! Along with nipping at "Dad's" Heels during the Pre-race when Robin Miller was interviewing Sealmeister B', aka Sebastain Bourdais about making his 200th Career IndyCar Start.

Meanwhile, sometime between the last seven minutes airing, towards 11:30PM Pacific when they finally went Off Air, pretty sure I heard Leigh Diffey saying he'd be busy doing some Track & Field work and that Kevin Lee would substitute for him at Mid Ohio next week; WTF!

Now, I have nothing personal against Kevin Lee, other than I absolutely cannot handle the sounds of his Oh No, Mr. Bill!
Fingernails on Chalkboard Shrieking Faked Exuberance when leading a TV Broadcast!

Not to mention that NBC sports is wasting the talents of Jon Beekhuis, who's Far Superior to Kevin! Which simply makes me scratch my Head over NBC's preference towards the presumably younger Messer lee, albeit I do quite like the Pitlane Newby' Dillon Welch...

Which Thankfully I'll be missing the Broadcast and therefore won't have to try finding how to pull-up the IMS Radio Network's Broadcast instead via Zed Internetz'. Since contrary to popular belief. Thar are those of us who enjoy listening to Indy Cars on the Radio! Especially if you're Blind, Kapishe Y'all?