Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Happy Holley 4-barrel Holidazes, Y'all

Groan, he's at it again... In what’s now become a tradition here on Nofendersville. Where your Humble Scribe Tomaso tortures Y’all with his witty repartee of his version of poetry from a much overused theme, Hya!

As Merry Festimus' Y'all, from Ye Mystical Isle 'O Nofendersville, a Happy, Joyous, Contented piece 'O Wind Swept Barren Rock, Somewheres' on thou Oregonian Coast between Winchester Bay and Cape Perpetchua, R' Mateys!

Although it's a somewhat Blue, Blue Christmas, since unfortunately that Fine Kuhnaidiun' Lass Claire's No longer with us. Not to mention Ye Rhythm Professor, thou one ‘N only Neil Peart…

And Betcha thought I was gonna Roll with 'Ol Elvis's Blue-Blue-Blue platter, Eh? But Claire would want something a 'lil more up-tempo Me Thinks!

VIDEO: The Muppets - Jingle Bells

As may be it’s ye Eggnog... But I always think of my favourite Two Hosers this time ‘O year, Fa la la la la lah…

NO! Not thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown and thou Young Wicky! (Robert Wickens) Nor Scott "What Pace Car?" Goodyear & Jockess V, nee Jack Vanilla, aka Jacques Villeneuve. Nye Pat "The Carpenter" (Carpentier) Nor TAG', nee Alex Tagliani or our Newest Hoser Dalton Kellett, but I digress...

Nope instead, per tipicali this time 'O year, those loveable KuhNucks Bob & Doug always come to mind, along with thar signature version of a certain Christmas song! And ah One, and Ah two Ladies ‘N Germs…

On the First Day 'O Carmania, 'Ol Carroll Shelby Grumbled Squarely at Me;

Son, Thar better be Juan 'O my Darn Blasted Contraptions in your Pitiful Song!

On the Twelfth Day 'O Carmania, 'Ol shel Grumbled to Thee,

12 Long's Doughnuts

11 X Rows of Shiny Dallara's

10Speeding Ferrari's

Nine BOSS Mustangs

eight 'lil E No. 88 Diecast's

Seven Bars 'O Geddy Lee

VIDEO: RUSh - Where's My Thing

Six Carling Black Labels'

Five Aston Martin DB5's'

four Borg Warner Trophies

three Diamantina Cocktails'

Two Saleen Mustangs

And a Bad Arse 289 FIA Shelby Cobra underneath thou Tree!

As this witty repartee from Thy Isle 'O Nofendersville was inspired by Bob & Doug McKenzie, for which they'd definitely say; Take Off Eh! As this "Song's" Definitely Done, and that Labatts too Hoser!

VIDEO: Bob & Doug McKenzie's 12 Days 'O Christmas - Song

And to All who continue reading thy Blog, and Ah-Waitin’ Thy Return, which is my New Years Goal! Ah Very good Night! Felice Navidad and Merry X-Mas! Since after all, It is the most wonderful; BARF!

See Y'all in 2021, Honest! As I’ve gotta be able to get the IT Boffins to Fix this Gory Blasted Contraption, El Correctomundo?

And Kudos to Blogmeister’ Miguel for continuing to post random No Fenders stories for Mwah…




Right Idea Wrong Team, Wrong Time Right Idea


As guess that’s what happens when Yuhs Step Away from the Intrawoodz’ for a little while. Or le Deush’, aka ESPN2 Whimsically Decides to Change it’s Airtimes, Eh?

As where are Yuhs Doctor John? As you’ll understand why that ‘Ol Tune ‘bout being in the Right Place at the Wrong Time immediately sprang to mind late Friday night (December 4th) after I’d sent my Sports Car Fantasia post the the Printers so to speak, albeit apparently Ye Printing Press on Nofendersville Isle runs on Island Times itself, Hya!

VIDEO: Dr. John – Right Place, Wrong Time

Although Kudos to Blogmeister Miguel who’s continued posting my few No Fenders rants whenever possible! Due to Ye Myriad ‘O Confuzer Technology issues continuously Swamping your Head Scribe Tomaso’s “log cabin” on thoust Isle of Nofendersville, but I digress!

Alas, I Burst Out laughing when hearing the News via my NFB Newsline for The Blind’s ESPN Online Motorsports Headlines section that Jimmy Johnson and a different All Star Cast would be piloting the #48 Action Express Racing’s (AXR) Caddilac Dpi VR at the fast approaching 2021 24 Hours of Daytona, slated for January 30-31.

As Silly Me! Thinking that just because ‘Ol JJ’, nee Jimmy Johnson had joined forces with Thee Cheepster’, nee Chip Ganassi to pilot the eponymous Chip Ganassi Racing (CGR) Championship Calibre Squad’s newly anointed #48 Dallaran/Honda IndyCar beginning in 2021 on the Twisties’ portion of the NTT IndyCar Series calendar, nee Temporary Street Circuits & Permanent Road Courses. Whith his “Good Budddy” TK’ Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan running the Ovals - He’d be racing the 3.56 mile Daytona International Speedway’s road course for CGR this coming January.

Instead Johnson will be contesting the Rolex 24 aboard one Bad Arse Motor Finger’ of a Caddy’ from a Brother of a Different Mother’s All Star Driving line-up! As Jimmy will be joined behind the Keyboard of his borrowed number 48 Prototype’s mount with Symone’, nee Pageantry’, aka Simon Pagenaud, the 2019 Indianapolis 500 Winner and 2016 IndyCar Series Champion. Mike Rocky’ rockenfeller, a previous Rolex 24 winner, ironically with AXR in 2010. Plus Overall victory in the 2010 24 Heurs du Mans, alon with being the 2013 DTM Champion.

Last but certainly Not least of this AXR Mega’ Driver’s Quartet is One of my favourite Under-appreciated Sports Car Aces, affectionately known here at No Fenders simply as “K Squared,” aka Kamui Kobayashi who sports two Rolex time-pieces from winning the 2019-2020 Daytona 24 Hours with Wayne Taylor Racing. (WTR)

As Paul Miller Racing, who campaigns a Lamborghini Huracan GT3 Evo in the GT Daytona (GTD) class, will loan it’s traditional car number 48 to Johnson and Action Express Racing’s effort, run in conjunction with Hendrick Motorsports to honour the Seven Times NASCAR Champion.

Meanwhile the reigning Cup Champion Chase Elliot who’ll also be racing in the 2021 Rolex 24, will presumably be making his Sports Car Prototypes Debut when he Co-Drives the team’s Full-season mount, the #31 Whelend Engineering Caddy’ with it’s Drivers Pipo Derani and Felipe Nasr, joined by Mike “Ice-Ice, Baby!” Conway Me Thinks.

Thus, Chip Ganassi Racing will certainly only be running it’s lone Caddilac Dpi VR at Daytona with Haas F1 Team Castoff Kevin Bacon’ Magnussen and Renger van der Zande. While Arse-sumedly Scotty thee Iceman 2.0’ Dixon will be it’s Endurance Rounds Chauffeur, leaving me to guess that Tony Kanaan will be it’s fourthHot Schue’ at Day-Toner’, Eh?

Right Bat Channel…But once again, the Wrong Time! As I just naturally Arse-sumed that Formula 1 would be on at Oh DARK-30’, and although quite curious over how George Russell would perform in Lewis Hamilton’s Merc’, I hadn’t planned on getting up to watch Bahrain’s Double Header’s Sekir GP Qualifying session. Yet my internal clock wouldn’t let me sleep, so I decided I might as well get up at 6:20AM to “Watch,” Err listen to the end of Qualie’ Saturday morning.

Turning on Thy Telie’, I was immediately Cornfuzed’ over Martin Billybob’ Brundle talking leisurely from one of the track’s corners before they went to commercial, which they Don’t do during live Qualifying. So I had to Chuckle over having guessed that the listing for F1 Racing from 5:55-7AM Pacific was the third F1 Practice session instead.

And with 2hrs and 10mins remaining for la Scuderia (Ferrari) to change ‘lil Syd’ viddle’s Power Unit, nee PU, I’d get to watch the entire Qualie’ session Commercial Free at a Uber’ pleasing 8:55AM instead!

As naturally the Debate will still be raging on over the Off Season regarding Russell’s magnificent performance in Golden Child’s mount, the All conquering Mercedes W11

As Russell at 6-feet 2-inches tall, is quite a bit taller than Lewis Hamilton, as the 22yr Old Russell even had to resort to wearing Driving Boots one size too Small for him to fit into Hamilton’s cockpit!

As we know that George qualified P2 behind Valtteri Bottas on Pole by 0.026 of a second! Not to mention simply Waxing Valtteri in the race, that Russell clearly should have Won on his Werks’ Mercedes F1 Debut!

But Mercedes had what Team Principal Toto Wolff said on TV. I know I’m Not supposed to say this but it was a Collosal Fuck Up! Regarding the team’s attempt at Double Stacking it’s cars during the Safety Car period ironically caused by Jack Aiken substituting in Russell’s normal Team Willy’, nee Williams F1 mount!

As we All know that Mercedes uncharacteristically got it All Wrong, putting Bottas Front tyres on Russell’s Merc’, which is strictly Verbotten! As it just went All Pear shaped for both Mercedes Drivers from there, leading to a very popular Debutante Win for Sergio Perez after 10yrs and 190 Starts in Formula 1!

And while I won’t dispute that Lewis Hamilton’s an Amazingly talented Driver, I still Bristle over his Arrogant Quote after winning the Turkish Grand Prix ‘bout how now you cannot say it’s just the car, as I lapped my team-mate today who’s in a similar car.

Uhm, Excuse me Lewis, but it is the Car! And would you be cleaning Nico Rosberg’s Clock weekly if he was still your team-mate? As Bottas is NO Slouch, but it’s painfully clear that he’s just a No. 2 Driver who’s not only had rotten luck, but I’d surmise has been Beaten Down by Toto Wolff Always putting things in your favour Lewis!

As Don’t get me Wrong, Hamilton’s abundantly talented behind the wheel, whilst Russell was eager to seize his golden opportunity. As the lanky Brit has plenty of talent himself, having won both of today’s FIA Formula 3 and Formula 2 championships before graduating to Formula 1 with Team Willy’ as a Mercedes Junior driver.

But like Max Verstappen has said previously I believe. How many other Drivers on the F1 Grid would Blitz the field in the Mercedes? And would we be “Lionizing” Sir Lewis if he’d been driving the Williams All thise years instead?

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Sports Car Fantasia

Could It Happen? Only time will tell…

Otay, so this is just pure 100% conjecture, but; That’s what All of us “Bench Racers” and lowly Bloggers do during the Off-season, even if Thars still two Formula 1 races remaining.

By now, I’m Arse-suming Y’all have heard the News that Kevin Bacon’ Magnussen will become a Tintops’ Driver next year, after the announcement that the Danish F1 Pilote’ who’s lost his drive at Haas F1 for 2020 will b moving Stateside in 2021.

As Magnussen will race for Thee Cheepster’, nee Chip Ganassi Racing’s rebooted IMSA Weathertech SportsCar Championship team, campaigning a Caddilac VR Daytona Prototype International (Dpi) machine, albeit I’ve got Zero Clue if this will be the ex-Wayne Taylor Racing (WTR) mount?

And I’ve also either read on perhaps? Or Heard somewhere that Chase Elliott will contest next year’s Rolex 24, presumably for Caddilac since he’s a GM Driver. While we know that NASCAR Seven Times Champion Jimmy Johnson will be making his IndyCar debut for CGR next year on the Twisties’, while TK’ Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan will drive Jimmy’s #48 Dallara/Honda IndyCar for the Ovals, including the Indianapolis 500 the next two years.

Thus where am I going with this you may be asking? And like I said before it’s just total Speculation, but! How Cool would it be if Cheep’ were to run a second Caddy’ Prototype at next year’s Daytona 24 Hours?

As this All Star entry would featurer Jimmy Johnson, chase Elliott, Tony Kanaan and Scott Dixon at it’s controls! While Ganassi’s primary season-long Caddilac would see it’s two regular drivers Kevin Magnussen and Renger van der Zande joined by CGR’s other two IndyCar Schues’ Marcus Ericsson and CGR Newcomer Alex Palou.

As the second Caddilac VR Dpi could come from and be run by Juncos Racing, who I believe still has their #54 Caddy’ Dpi parked in it’s Indianapolis, Err Speedway Shop, Righto?

Yeah I know, we shouldn’t ask too much for Christmas, as it’s just a wishful thought. Although I’m also hoping to hear where Ryan Briscoe winds up? Since he’s the driver who needs a ride the most after being let go by WTR…

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

No Fenders remains Stuck in Limbo...

Although Surely, Hey Don't Call me Shirley, Hya! No Airplane Jokes Here! Y'all Haven't been Holding Your Collective Breaths, Righto?

Or turnin' Bleu', or is it Purple? Like those loveable but forgotten Smurfs, Eh? As Hello once again my loyal, remaining No Fenders readers...

For those who care, I'm Still Stuck in 1st gear, or is it Reverse? Since my winDOUGHS 10' Confuzers' been back to Ye Computer Shop again for a Gory Third time, and now all I need is a new winDOUGHS 10 compatible Monitor, Printer and presumably switching over to Zoomtext Fusion 2020, albeit I've never successfully mastered the plain 'Ol Zoomtext 2020 Screen reader Software which reputedly Don't work since I've fought against the Planned Obsolescence of buying a Bitchin' New Rectangular monitor as Randal', Thy Monitor King would croak; URGH!

And Yeah, I won't pull too many "Iceman" Puns upon Yuhs. Y'all Don't know who the Iceman Kuh-Kuh-Kuh-Choo' is? As I stole that witty repartee from a recent Mark Thee Iceman" Worman episode of Graveyard Carz from awhile ago now, which is one of the few TV Shows I currently watch weekly - whenever it Airs. Mostly in Deference to it coming outta my adopted Backyard, nee Springfield Oregon just 90mins away from Ye Coast, But I Digress...

AUTOS: A Few TV Car Show Rewinds

As Hopefully they haven't been ravaged by the Fires Engulfing Oregon! since I've got Zero Clue how close the Holiday Ranch Fire was to Springfield, but my 'lil Transistor Radio was Squawking multiple Emergency alerts towards being prepared to Evacuate for several Days!

Having already seranaded Y'all 'bout the ridiculously Idiotic travails of why I haven't been posting any riveting, Uhm ramblin' eclectic thoughts 'bout Der Vurld' de Motorsporten; Ja-Ja! Here upon No Fenders lately, with the exception of the few Blogmeister Miguel's been kind enough to post for Mwah before Dislocating his Shoulder; YOUCH!

As Thanks Microsoft, Zoomtext and Most of All, Google; NOT! For which the "New & Improved, Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge" Hideous Blogger Platform's interface I'd used for nearly 14yrs to post everythingys' now affectionately known here on Nofendersville simply as Blooger' since it's now a Piece 'O Shit!

Technology Rears its Ugly Head Again...

Or for an even more Scathing post upon Ye gOOgle Monster's STUPIDITY! Uhm, ergo Brashness of turning Blogger into another Rotting Corpse, Yikes! For which I'd really like to Shake the Head Clown in Charge's Hand; Err Slap Him/her on Thee Back for this Mega Clusterfuck!

Google's New Blogger Interface Does Not Work Properly

Although trusty Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen who's told me many Ah-Time 'bout how one day civilization will discover this unique Tex-Mex' Jumbaliah 'O Word Smithing I've used here upon Ye Isle 'O Nofendersville for over a Decade now as Tomasan' and simply wonder in Amazement what it means; Aye!

But on a somewhat more serious note, she asked why can't I simply do like Emily Dickinson did whilst awaiting solving my Myriad 'O Confuzer' nee Computer problems, Eh? Notably how winDOUGHS 10 and Zoomtext 2020 currently won't interface correctly on my machine with each other, before I can even "SEE" if it'll work on the new P.O.S. Graphically "Enhanced" Blooger blogging platform?

As I'd never heard of Emily dickinson before, which is somewhat strange since she's lauded as being America's Best ever Female Poet. And I was surprised to learn her story some Gory 134 years following her Death in Bloody 1886; Aye Karumba! Having Died at the Age of 55 on May 15, 1886.

Having never heard of Miss Dickinson before, Mary Ellen told me the story of how she prolifically wrote some 1,800 Poems unknown, which were only discovered by her younger sister after her Death and then subsequently published! Although somehow I Doubt this will occur for Mwah...

Emily Dickinson's I Felt A Funeral in My Brain

Alas, as the Time-Space Continuum merrily continues marching on uninterrupted, regardless of what's happening in our life's. Having just finished listening to my Debutante Tom Robbins tome Tibetan Peach Pie, his only work available in thoust preferred 'Ol School CD Audiobook format from ye local Library.

'Ol "Tommy Rotten's" Sardonic travails of his life ultimately as a successful Novelist made me proclaim that Writing my No Fenders Blog is a Privilege, not a Necessity, albeit I enjoy doing so as my Daily Ritual, which I suppose is why I'm so tied in Knots over Not being able to easily do so on Microsoft's latest creation, BARF!

And whilst Name Dropping, Messer Robbins notes his various encounters with the late Timothy Leary, claiming they became friends, which weirdly made me immediately Flash Back to a Great Old Groovy classic tune by The Moody blues.

VIDEO: Moody Blues - timothy Leary's Dead

Whilst Messer Robbins wraps up his latest novel by briefly mentioning the terms Manifestation vs. Imagination, which I suppose is totally Apropos in All walks of life along with the Serendipity of Coinciding nicely with Ye late Messer Leary, Righto?

As Robbins mention of Leary, plus his partaking in visiting Hate Ashbury in 1967 during the "Summer of Love," which he and his Girlfriend visited made me Flashback to Arse-sumedly Jefferson Airplane's GURR-REATEST' Song? Or at least my favourite, simply titled White Rabbit; Sing It Grace!

"One Pill Makes You Larger

One Pill Makes You Small

And the Ones Mother Gives You

Don't Do Anything at All

Just Ask Alice

When She's 10 Feet Tall

And if You go Chasing Rabbits..."

VIDEO: Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit

Obviously Ye Indy 500's come 'N gone since my Blogging career was temporarily Derailed, for which I've got another riveting Two-part Harmony, Err 2 Part No Fenders tome Ah-Waitin' posting. But as previously mentioned above, I've got ZERO Clue when this will happen, as Thanks Blooger', Bastardoes!

And that was before All of the West Coast Caught on Fire during and following the traditional ending of Summer, i.e.; Labour Day weekend. For which I know California's in way worse Devastation, but Over 10% Oregonians have been Forced to be under Evacuation orders to Depart their Domiciles at Moments Notice; SHEISA!

Not to mention the Horrific Smokeyness we've been enduring for over a week's time when I was trying to finish this ramblin' tome.

As it looked like the consistency 'O Chocolaty Brown Milk whenever I went outside the first few days when Thar weren't No Sun!

Not to mention it took me three days to realize there weren't any Bird noises coming from my Pine trees...

Alas, enough of Ye Debbie Downer' talk I suppose, Eh? As Ye World of Sports has been transfixed by Football; Hut-Hut Omaha! Since Arse-sumedly All of Gory Americre' is now Foaming at the Mouth over some professional Pigskins being tossed about and Motor Racing takes it's proverbial Backseat, Righto?

Although I must confess I've somewhat enjoyed the Self Enforced Sabbatical from Blogging Blooger's provided Mwah, especially since it's the worst time 'O year for when I Cannot S-e-E the Gory Confuzer' Screen and what I'm working upon during Summer's transition to Fall.

But I do still plan to continue Blogging here at No Fenders one day soon in earnest again, when I'll be fully 100% Functional, which now is my Goal for 2021 when Hopefully we'll Ring in a Much Better Year!

As Thanks Y'all for your Continued Patience...


VIDEO: Peter Gabriel - Don't Give Up

Partial Song lyrics from:

Jefferson Airplane

Song: White Rabbit

Album: Surrealistic Pillow

Year: 1967


Wednesday, October 21, 2020

MOTO GP: More 2020 Calendar Revisions, Marquez undergoes further Surgery, Likely Out for Season means Title's Wide Open

As only a titanium plate could slow Marquez Down! And the reports of breaking it opening a "large" window makes me recall when Juan Pablo Montoya reputedly Slipped on a Tennis Ball, Cough-Cough!

Obviously I had Zero Clue of the Uber Nasty Trick what I'll now forever refer to as Blooger', nee Blogger would play upon me and many other unsuspecting members of the Blogosphere this past August, whom rely upon Blogger to Post their Stories; SIGH! Hence, naturally this No Fenders tome is slightly dated...

For Mwah, I currently find the world's premiere Road Racing Kneedraggers, a la MotoGP far more interesting than the current state of Formula 1, albeit the Italian F1 rounds were Mega Chaotic!

Which I suppose is why I was intending to find myself Scribbling more 'N more about MotoGP here on No Fenders lately - Before Ye gOOgle Munster's Blooger' struck me squarely Amidships, Torpedo! "You Sunk My Gory Battleship!"

Thus if you're following this season's MotoGP now available on big NBC and NBC Sports, then you probably already know that the last three remaining Flyaway' races outside Europe have been Cancelled awhile ago now.

Argentine, Malaysian and Thai MotoGP races Cancelled, New European Season Finale to be Announced

Whilst subsequently the presumed Portimao season finale's been confirmed, taking part on November 22nd, with the racetrack to be resurfaced prior to the MotoGP race.

Portimao confirmed as 2020 MotoGP Finale

Meanwhile, Marc Ye Pinball Wizard Marquez has suffered another setback, after needing further surgery to replace the titanium plate aiding his broken right upper arm's recovery, after it was found to be bending under stress.

And whilst the Doctors claim Marquez did nothing wrong. Me wonders if the reports of him doing Push-ups just days after surgery, or was it just 24hrs later? In his efforts to be deemed medically fit to race in Jerez's second MotoGP round had anything to do with this?

Blow for Marquez, Forced to undergo second Surgery

Marquez belatedly had a second surgery to replace this titanium plate with presumably a new beefed up version and subsequently missed that weekend's Czech MotoGP round. And now appears most likely to sit out the entire 2020 MotoGP season.

Honda's Marc Marquez to be Out of Action a further 2-3 Months

And with the IndyCar Mid Ohio Double Header cancellation, Err postponement over August 8-9, you'd think there would have been ample Air-time to show the Czech MotoGP round at a more soothing time than Oh Bloody Dark-30 for those of us on Ye West Coast! Righto?

As here's what I could find for the current MotoGP Airings on Big NBC & NBC Sports, albeit it's now a Wee Bitamyte' Dated.

Since obviously there's been multiple TV Programming Revisions, with this one Dated July 15th - But it Doesn't seem entirely Accurate - since my Zap2It' TV Guide claimed that the Barcelona round would Air at a very palatable 1:30PM Pacific on NBC Sports on Sept 27th instead...

NBC Sports 2020 MotoGP Broadcast Schedule Revisions

Yet I'd rather get up at 4-Bleepin' 30 AM to watch the MotoGP races vs. what asuredly will be another Mercedes Whitewash, Y-A-W-N! With Golden Child, nee Lewis Hamilton having a Gory 66.6% winning Average prior to the Russian Grand Prix, where presumably he would tie DER TERMINATOR's, aka Michael Schumacher's F1 Career Wins record tally of 91 wins; SHEISA! Before Lewis Shot Himself in his own Foot!

Thus I've gotten Up at Oh Dark-30' on Ye West Coast multiple times now, which I will Not do for Formula 1 Anymore In order to watch; Err listen to these ultimate Kneedraggers! Bloody Hell, I even skipped another Toy-Yoter' parade at Le Mans in favour of the San Marino MotoGP round.

Could Quartararo be MotoGP's first Non Factory Champion?

I first did so for the Czech MotoGP round at Bruno, which was a wonderful race. Although the two British Talking Headz' seemed to slightly Disagree upon the exact year, saying it was either 1973 or '74, whenever records of such ilk began being kept, that it was the first time ever in MotoGP History that two Frenchmen had started a Grand Prix 1-2! They also noted it was 1980 when Kenny "The King" Roberts had last won three in-a-row races aboard a YamaHopper', nee Yamaha; YIKES!

and presumably the startling MotoGP Rookie Brad Binder in only his third ever MotoGP start, who Shockingly won KTM's first ever MotoGP race since Thar arrival in 2017, surely is the first ever South African to win a MotoGP event, El Correctomundo?

MotoGP History maker Binder - This is Insane

Then Thars' the Symmetry 'O Dovi', nee Andrea Dovizioso and Ducati Corse Breaking Up, with Dovizioso's announcement of leaving at season's end and then winning the Austrian Grand Prix One Day later!

Before the second Spielberg Red Bull Ring's Styrian Grand Prix had our third first time MotoGP winner, when the totally unexpected Portugese rider Miguel Oliveira Shocked everyone with his last lap last corner pass for his and KTM Satellite Squad Tech 3's maiden Big Bikes Win's!

But as 'Ol Derek Daly used to pontificate: "Hang Onto your Hollyhocks!" As we're not done yet with inaugural MotoGP winners, Mates. As next in the Queue was VR46 Academy member Franco Morbidelli, Arsumedly NO Relation to that 'Ol, Forgotten Formula 1 Pilote Gianni Morbidelli, Ci?

Surely Y'all remember Gianni as Scuderia Ferrari's Test Driver being Drafted into Formula 1 racing action late 1991 after "The Professor," aka Alain Prost was Fired by la Scuderia! Hmm, may be I'm showing my age Thar, Eh? As Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen enjoys reminding Mwah...

Big Uncle Valentino and His Fountain of Youth

And there was the Second-Second, Err "Pizza-Pizza," Hya! Round No. 7 San Marino MotoGP round at Missano, where my current Freak 'O Year Francesco Pecco' Bagnaia, who finished runner-up the week prior in his return to racing with a Broken Right leg; Aye Karumba!

Should have won his maiden MotoGP race on Home Soil before inexplicably crashing out whilst leading with seven laps remaining, ahead of eventual winner Maverick Top gun' Vinales, who finally notched his season's first W'.

And that's just leading up to the season's Halfway mark during this year's unbelievably Topsy Turvy MotoGP season, with the Championship still totally wide open, albeit Fabio Quartararo took back the points lead with his third victory this season at Barcelona.

Yet the Rider who seems to be on the podium most lately is the relatively unmentioned Joan Mir, who seems to be getting the better of his Suzuki team-mate Alex Rins, although in Rins defense, he's been recovering from injury this entire year-to-date...


Tuesday, October 6, 2020

F1: The Night ESPN2 Double Faulted at Flushing Meadows

Huh? I thought the Women's W Series was Suspended this year?

Congratulation luh Duesh! Once again you Showed your True Colours! After I'd spent the whole day in my own virtual "bubble," making sure to not open any websites, listen to any Sports News or even turn on Thy Telie, in case of stumblin' across an errant update giving me the results of the Italian Grand Prix I was eagerly awaiting after having been told earlier in thou morning to make sure i definitely watched it!

Yet for Mwah, the Saddest part of it All, was my correctly predicting that ESPN2 would Screw Us Devoted Formula 1 Fans once again! As I was totally suspicious when learning that Gory Tennis was scheduled for 4hrs preceding the listed Encore Presentation of the Italian Grand Prix from 8-10:30PM Pacific.

After all, the week before I'd fallen asleep after Ah-Waitin' a Stupendous One Hour 25mins Delay for the Stinkin' (MLB) Baseball game to finish saw the Belgian Grand Prix Encore Presentation beginning at 8:25 Pacific!

And after the myriad 'O the Mothers Shoe Polish lady Cooing Sweetly we'll return exactly where we left off immediately following these riveting Glow in The Dark $19.95 Helicopter Commercials, Sigh!

With Golden Child', nee Lewis Hamilton's serene saunter into thou Sunset, continuously stretching his lead with ease at the Mighty Spa Francorchamps put me into a Sleep induced State and I simply Switched Off instead, perhaps only two-thirds of the race's distance?

Turning on Thy Telie 15 minutes before the F1 Replay in Questione was slated to begin, I was relieved to hear that the Min's Tennis match had ended and they were interviewing the winner with several minutes to spare before the top of the hour.

But then it got Weird! As Chrissie Evert and some other Talking Head began prattling on 'bout the upcoming Women's tennis match late night at Flushing Meadows, Huh? And then they interviewed the two female contestants in the Prime Time Pre-amble; WTF?

As Yeah, we Won't get, Uhm Fooled? Oh Never Mind! As luh Duesh' did I-T Again BASTARDOES! And not only Double Faulted by airing the Naomi Osaka match, but presumably caused scores of Formula 1 Fans to Turn Off their Televisions Fuming!

And feeling that ESPN2 should be Disqualified a la Novak Djokovic Had been earlier that day for Stupidly Hitting a line Marshall with a Defiant tennis ball lob after losing! And now fined $10k for his Sophomoric Antics.

Especially since this year's Italian Grand Prix will most likely end up being my choice for Formula One's Race of The year! Even if I Didn't get to watch it.

And with No Disrespect towards Monsieur Gasley, I'd really like to know who was the Bloke on the Pit Wall that called him in on lap-19, just One lap prior to Kevin Bacon' Magnussen's Safety Car inducing accident...

As every Stinkin' story I've read/listened to via my NFB Newsline for The Blind's telephone service or the Internet, since Mary Ellen sez' I sound Silly saying Internets so easily! And Nobody get's that Circa 2000's Joke Anymore; But I Digress...

Nothing ever truly explained how Gasley went from P10, including ironically going Argie-Bargie' with his Red Bull replacement Alexander Albon at the start! To resuming the race after the Red Flag in third place, as how many cars did he Jump during the Safety Car period?

But Hats Off to Pierre, who after all is the former 2016 GP2 Champion, Err now FIA Formula 2 Champion, being the final GP2 Champion before the series rebranding in 2017.

Gasley's also finished as series runner-up in the 2014 Formula Renault 3.5 Series Championship, ironically behind then another Red Bull Junior Driver named Carlos Sainz, Jr. And the 2017 Super Formula Championship, the latter I wished to mention briefly because of another Super formula graduate named Alex Palou, now contesting his rookie IndyCar season for Dale Coyne Racing with Team Goh, but this story's supposed to be about Monsieur Gasley Wee-Wee, Bon App├ętit!

As its most certainly ironic that Scuderia AlphaTauri's Debutante Grand Prix comes at Monza, Home race of the Fienza based F1 Squad.

Who's only other Grands Prix victory occurred also at Monza twelve years ago, when a Fresh Faced Driver I call 'lil syd viddle', aka Sebastian Vettel claimed his and then Scuderia Toro Rosso's maiden victory at what's called The Temple of Speed! Aka Autodromo Nazionali Monza.

Also think it was The Guardian's Giles Richard reporting that this was the first F1 Podium since Hungary, 2012 to not have a single member of Mercedes, Ferrari or Red Bull on the podium, Yikes!

Not to mention being the first French Grand Prix winner since Olivier Panis's Shock Win in Thee Principality, nee Monte Carlo when he won the 1996 Monaco Grand Prix.

So Congrats Pierre Gasley, you Deserve It! And at only age 24, the question now must be will he ever win another Grands Prix in his budding Formula 1 career?

Pierre Gasley secures Maiden Grand Prix Victory in Accident plagued Italian Grand Prix

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

INDY 500: Many Fans Seeing Red Over Yellow Flag Finish

Wherez RASSCARs 'Ol DW to Oh-pine' Checkers or Wreckers, Yee-Haw!

For Mwah, the only thing that really mattered 'bout this year's Indianapolis 500 finish was that miraculously Spencer Pigot Walked away relatively Unharmed, i.e.; No Broken bones, Serious Concussion, Internal Injuries etc from his Nasty Crash!

And I readily acknowledge that Scott Dixon is one Bad Arse Hombre behind the steering wheel, presumably en route to a staggering sixth NTT IndyCar Series Championship and would certainly have been justified of winning on Sunday, but I found myself Rootin' against him, since I tire easily of Ye Big Three, nee Penske, Ganassi and Andretti Always winning...

Thus I found myself chanting Ah-Mightily Taku-Taku-Taku' with four sets 'O fingers crossed towards the end of the race that Takuma Sato would indeed win the 104th running of the Indianapolis 500!

But I'm surprised over how much Backlash there's been for IndyCar Not throwing a Red Flag. Since according to ESPN's Ryan McGee, there's been 16 Indy 500's since 1940 to finish under a Caution Flag. And I was at the last two in person, circa 2012-2013.

As what's happened to our Sporting Collective and why do we think we're entitled to always have a Green-White-Checkered Flag Finish in Open Wheel Racing?

As one very Sage Reporter out Thar noted it's the Indianapolis 500, not 501, 502; Err, Uhm that would be 502.5, 505, or the race ended on Lap 204, etc. Nor do we have any Lucky' Dog Wave Arounds behind the Pace Car to Unlap yourself! As I believe that's a different series called RASSCAR', Get along 'lil doggy...

As I speculated with one friend immediately afterwards asking where did All of the massive Debris go? Was it littering the Pitlane? Since perhaps IndyCar was worried that by bringing the field to a Red Flag Halt on Pitlane where Nobody's allowed to work on their cars, i.e.; Changing tyres, etc. how many competitors would risk having cut tyres when returning to racing?

Although I've since heard following the race Crash Gladys of Speed Freaks Fame noting that IndyCar mentioned briefly that it would have taken over One Hour to repair the Damaged Attenuator. And For The Love of Indy's Raymond Hando noted Sunday night that on the radio they claimed it would have taken at least 90mins. All of which was running up against NBC's going Off the Air at 3PM Pacific, and I believe that NBC Sports still had the NASCAR race on its TV Network, and of Course we wouldn't have wanted another Heidi Outcome, Righto?

Therefore, with only Five laps remaining, and in this topsy-turvy COVID 19 Pandemic world, I totally feel IndyCar made the right Decision to end under Caution and that Takuma Sato was a totally Deserving Winner! Having rolled off an Indy 500 career best third and staying in the Top-5 all day long.

Takuma Sato on Milk, Party Plans & Honda Engines

Ironically, the last Non big Three Indy 500 winner TK' Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan's 2013 victory for KV Racing Technology also came under a yellow flag, but Nobody seems to have a Problem with that...

Ant Anstead: Master Mechanic

As Bloody Hell, I'm always suitably Impressed by Anyone who can Build His own Car from the Ground Up!

I suppose in some small way, it's ironic, Isn't It Alanis? Err Karmic or more likely symbiotic that I began Scribblin' this on the very same day Jolly 'Ol Silverstone was hosting the 70TH Anniversary Grand Prix.

Which was won seven decades ago by the very same racing car that Starred in the Motortrend TV television show Ant Anstead Master Mechanic that I watched all six weeks of its two half hour vignettes from May 20th until June 24th "Encore" presentation.

If you're a Formula 1 Diehard like Mwah, then you'll already know that the car in Questione is none other than the All Conquering Alfa Romeo Tipo 158. Having enjoyed Domination of the Sport A la Mercedes is currently enjoying, albeit for a far shorter duration "technically" if only considering the beginning of our current Formula One World Championship in 1950.

although it was as every bit Uber Dominant a la Mercedes over its very long racing tenure, beginning in 1937 thru 1951, interrupted obviously by World War II. Racking up a most impressive Win Tally of 47/54 Grands Prix outings! Not to mention the only racecar to go Undefeated in a season, winning 11 of 11 Races in 1950 Me Thinks...

As Giuseppe Farina and Alfa Romeo won the inaugural Formula 1 race of the modern day F1 series sanctioned by the FIA held at Bloody Silverstone Wayback on May 13, 1950, which I've previously chronicled in the following No Fenders tome.

Birth of the modern F1 championship

Ant Anstead is a most interesting character to Mwah, since although I like the main cog of Wheeler Dealers Mike Brewer, it's Anstead which keeps me tuned into Ye Motortrend TV show, as I just find him to be hugely charismatic.

As Ant, whose first name is Anthony was previously a British Constable, reportedly one of the youngest to become a member of the Tactical Firearms Unit (TFU) permitted to carry a Firearm in Bloody England!

Whilst he also played Semi Professional European "Football," what us Yanks refer to as soccer here. First as Goalkeeper and then moving to Striker for Ryman for 15 years, claiming to have made over 700 Caps.

As I particularly enjoyed him telling about his extremely modest beginnings when he Quit the Police Force in 2005 to chase his Dream of becoming a Car Builder. Noting he'd made a Deal with Arse-sumedly a Farmer, that if he made his One room Cow Barn fully functional, i.e.; lighting, heating, Cleaning etc. He could have the Barn the first year rent Free.

As the premise of the show which was produced in 2019 was that Anstead has three months (12 weeks) to build his Dream Car. As he'd better be Done by then because he's got a Son on the way! For which Hudson was born on Sept 6, 2019.

Ant's Dream Car is the aforementioned legendary Alfa Romeo Tipo 158, for which he muses how he'd like to have been a part of those Heady late 1930's era, presumably as a Mechanic at Alfa Course, fabricating the magnificent voiturette Tipo 158's.

Whilst a few times when mentioning how much larger he was than Juan Manuel Fangio, noting how El Maestro appeared to be almost spilling out of the Alfa's Cockpit, anstead mused he was 6 Feet two inches and 230lbs, I immediately muttered Out-loud He's a Big boy!

The series began with Ant having acquired a Knackered Out 1950's era MGTD, for which wisely includes rack & pinion steering, for which he effectively Chucks everything minus the front suspension and ladder chassis frame rails, which is the basis of his new racecar. As Ant then takes it to a nearby Bead Blaster, where he goes into the Blasting Shed himself to "Sand Blast" his frame, using walnut shells I believe.

My favourite episode follows, as Thars a Hilarious bit 'O Slapstick when he goes to retrieve what he thinks will just be a live rear axle. As the Auto Wrecking Shop's proprietor plays along Beautifully, telling him, Yours is Outside. To which Ant says Deadpan, you Didn't tell me it's still on a Car!

Then he ends up taking the Clapped-out Alfetti Spyder for a brief spin. Growling there's No clutch Pedal, before merrily Grinding Gears with the proprietor saying I Hope he Doesn't take it on the Freeway!

As I think it's really Cool that Ant ended up using much of the Alfa Spyder's Guts for his racecar, i.e.; engine, transmission, rear axle with locking Differential, and many of the car's gages and various sending units et Al.

Next Anstead flies Across Thee Puddle, back to his former European Workshop where he just so happens to have an Alfa Romeo 158 Fiberglas Mold in Storage, from a previous One-off he built for a charity Drive.

While I'm still Cornfuzed over how exactly he Detached his Bicep muscle playing Football? Which adds extra Drama to the Car's build Deadline. Along with one Episode's "Intro" having him whisper Never Wake a Sleeping Pregnant Woman," i.e.; his wife Christina, a TV Actress who previously co-Hosted Flip or Flop on the HGTV Network, and subsequently has her own TV Show aptly titled Christina On the coast on the same television network.

Meanwhile Anstead's back in California and the show takes a few Detours, notably visiting somebody with a "real" Alfa Romeo 158, albeit I could never discern if it's a replica somebody built? Since the apparent owner said it took four years to build, and claims is worth a cool $20m as in Millions, Aye Karumba!

Although apparently this Alfetta is a real Honest-to-Goodness Racecar, having all aluminum panels and being built from a Treasure Trove of left over surplus Alfa Romeo 158 Bits that came up for sale several years ago.

Birth of an Alfeta: The Alfa Romeo 158 Made from Spare Parts

As I've never heard the name Peter Giddings before, who reportedly was the guiding force and Backer behind the exquisite Tipo 158 creation, who succumbed to Cancer in January, 2019...

Peter Giddings Racing Bio

Along with visiting the Car Collection of a noted Ferrarista owner. Since Thars Michael Schumacher's F2002 on-hand, presumably that year's f1 Championship Winner. Along with a Ferrari F40, F50, Enzo and la Ferrari...

Ant has his Alfa Romeo two-litre straight four rebuilt by an engine specialist who does serious porting, polishing and rebuilding work to boost the 'lil Four-banger's Horsepower, including converting to Dry Sump lubrication. Which naturally Ain't what real Tipo 158's have.

Although Ant cleverly pays Homage to the magnificent Gioacchino Colombo 1,479cc Straight 8-Cylinder Roots Supercharged Formula 1 lump' by adding four fake exhaust headers to his Bundle 'O Snakes pipes exiting the side of his fiberglass bodied replica.

And while Ant's anxiously awaiting the arrival of his Alfa transplant lump', he sets about welding together his integral Space Frame amongst thou myriad 'O tasks still awaiting completion.

As Ant wisely upgrades All four corners with Disc Brakes, along with separate Master Brake Cylinders for the Front/Rear Brakes, with a slick Cockpit adjustable Brake Bias lever. And also upgraded to new modern era Shock Absorbers; Err Dampers.

Then for the car's paint scheme, Anstead consulted his Pal', renown Automotive Designer Chip Foose, who does a quick rendering and gives some tips regarding potential liveries, including a mustache on the nose? Telling Ant whatever you do, it has to reflect you...

As the race was on for the car's public Debut no less than at the 2019 United States Grand Prix Formula 1 race at Circuit Of The Americas (COTA) in Austin, for which Anstead claims got much praise over the race's weekend, since they weren't allowed to bring any cameras inside the circuit.

As the only part of the whole build that puzzles me was the brief mention of how he'd be running lights on the racecar, Huh? Like does this imply he was adding headlights to it? Which makes No sense to Mwah for a Track Only vehicle.

As the show concludes with him spending the day at Willow springs raceway I believe? Running the car Solo, for which I seem to recall him saying he needed to add an extra silencer to the exhaust since it's too Bloody L-O-U-D! Whilst we're left watching 'N listening to the soothing sounds of his tweaked Alfa Romeo two litre Four Banger singing around the race course...

Ant Anstead Drives his Alfa Romeo 158 Replica for the First Time video

As I highly recommend watching the whole 12-part series, which weighs in at 6hrs running time if you're a Car Nut, as the whole show's quite entertaining...

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Technology Rears its Ugly Head Again...

As will Microsoft, Google and it's Armies 'O IT Boffins ever make transitioning to a new Operating system easy? As I won't even Dare saying thou word Seamless, Bastardoes!

Yes, of course I realize Thars way worse Problems afflicting the World right now, specifically the omnipotent scourge 'O Ye COVID 19 Pandemic, Beirut's Port Explosion, Cancer et Al...

But to Quote young Alexander albon, I'm definitely still A Bit Fresh right now! Especially over the Nasty trick those Bastardoes at Google just played upon Mwah...

As I've been dreading the day that, the blogging platform I've used since starting this Blog Wayback in September, 2006 would Force me to use Thar New & Improved "Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge," NOT! Blogging platform, which from now on I'll refer to as Blooger! Since I knew it wouldn't work with my outdated Screen Reader, which they've done to me before, but that's a whole Nutter' story for another day, since I've been fighting the Demands to Upgrade to the New, Bootiful' Colour Coded Dig-It-Tull' world 'O winDOUGHS for several years now...

Another relic from Microsoft's Dustbin...

But I'm really Cornfuzed! When you read the words Dismiss this Notice, what does that imply? As Jokes On Me! Since I finally got tired of circumnavigating the Annoying Warning Message 'bout Blooger changing, that I've ignored for over two months, since I knew it wouldn't work with my current system and complaining to Google's absolutely 1,000% Useless!

But the chirpy, Sunshiny Bunnies 'N Rainbows message Notification politely suggested: We encourage you to try the New Blooger and tell us about any critical problems. But Don't Fret the Old Blooger Legacy platform will still be Available...

"cough-Cough," BULLSHIT!

As little did I know that when I clicked to Dismiss this Notification message Tuesday evening, August 4th - that it would Kick me to the New Piece 'O Shit Flash Bang Boy Howdy Palm Pocket-Rocket Blooger' version automatically and S-H-I-T, You FUCKS! I can No longer Post any riveting No Fenders Blog stories, Arseholes!

And now having reluctantly gone to the Blooger, Err Blogger Blog for the very first time, and being Disgusted over learning that apparently the reverting to Legacy option was a "Limited Time Offer," SHIT! If you're gonna pull a Fast One like that gOOgle, then you should Gory Well include explaining that in your message notification, El Correctomundo?

Although I believe, since Lucy' My Trusty 'Ol Arse-Steamed' (Zoomtext 10.1) Screen Reader cannot Read Anything on Blooger! Besides the first two words Search Posts, Sigh! But think Blogmeister Miguel said the current Notification message says we'll now have until September 1st to Revert to Legacy does Not Work, Psyche!

Especially since right now I seem trapped in No-Man's land, since my new winDOUGHS 10 machine and the Zoomtext 2020 Screen Reader that refuses interfacing with each other has sat on my desk unplugged since late March, CRAP! When I also lost the ability to Email; Oh Never Mind!.

As I Don't know how to currently rectify this problem, especially since so far I've managed to completely Stump the Zoomtext Tech Support Boffins repeatedly during multiple Remote Login sessions, URGH! Yet trying to make the Gory Confuzer' work will now apparently become my new Full-time occupation, Ack!

But Shame On You Google! As I find it totally incomprehensible to simply turn off the "Spicket" for somebody who's posted Blog stories faithfully on your Blog platform for nearly 14 years and 4,100-plus Posts later! As another Disgruntled longtime Blogger has just posted the following sentiments.

"I managed to ignore New Blogger for a few weeks but Google's ability to fark stuff up has the same air of inevitability as rotting corpses."

Google: Nobody Asked for A New Blogger Interface

Like many Racing Drivers, I'd hoped that and still do, that I'll be able to determine upon my own when I retire from blogging and go out on my own terms! But right now it appears that for the time being, Ye almighty gOOgle Monster has decided for Mwah instead, Buggers!

As that's the reason for my latest gap in Story Posts, and I'm sticking to that! Since not everybody can afford or wishes to live on a Smartfone', Yuhs Hear? Especially if you're Blind! And buying a new winDOUGHS 10 Computer may be the farthest thing from consideration right now for Millions of people, Kapish!?

Thus I've got No Clue when I'll hopefully be able to return to posting my riveting thoughts about Der Vurld de Motorsporten here on No Fenders in Ye future, or if I'll just go away in a whimper?

Or how to find out what the best blogging platform, if any for Blind writers exists? And why the world's so Hell Bent upon making everything impossible for Blind people! Like can we please Stop using graphic symbols for everything! Which if you're Blind, it's Gory Freakin' Hard to SEE 'em, get it? Not to even mention the unwillingness of Web Designers, Coders, etc to enable Screen Readers to R-E-A-D THEM!

As Google's Never Cared about the Blind or Visually Impaired in the 14 years I've been Fumblin', stumbling and most Definitely Bumbling thoust way along on Ye Intrawoods', aka that World Wide Web thingy. As c'mon Google, Knock Off the Insane use of Graphic Symbols, Puh-Puh-Puh-Plese!

No Gory Imogys Here!

Janis Joplin - Buy Me A Mercedes Benz video

Hope to return someday in the future. Although I've currently got Zero Clue towards when I'll be able to easily post blog Stories once again,

or need to migrate to another Blog platform instead, since Blogger's now thoroughly a Piece 'O Shit, FRICK!

Kudos to Blogmeister Miguel for Posting this riveting No Fenders rant...