Two Top Racing Teams Implode!

Or should the number have been three?

 

Alright, it wasn’t quite that bad, but I had to come up with some clever title, Eh?

 

As sorry if you’re still looking for some riveting IndyCar recap of our latest Oval race, as I’ve got Zip, Nada Nothing! Since I’ve still got the weekend of Toronto and the Hungaroring on my mind…

 

It was Uber funny how Mark Gravelly’ James, IndyCar Radio’s lead announcer jumped All over how Kyle Moyer, Scott McLaughlin’s strategist had been saying during the red flag period at Toronto. How the team All works together, and All of the drivers get on with each other. As it’s All for one, i.e.; Team Penske, Blah-Blah-Blah…

 

As that was before Wilbur’ “Mr. Ed” Power made a Boneheaded decision to attempt passing teammate ScottyMac’ in Turn-5 where nobody had been able to pass!

 

As I absolutely loved how McLaughlin sarcastically clapped as Power went by before climbing into the AMR safety vehicle! Not to mention McLaughlin rightly being still Hot under the collar when interviewed after the race’s end!

 

With Davey Hamilton belabouring the point repeatedly how Power went from being 33-points behind points leader Alex Palou, to now being 49-points adrift. (Following Toronto) Not to mention All three Penske’s being inside the Top-10 before resuming racing after the red flag….

 

Oh yeah, almost forgot about the G-R-R-reat Josef Newgarden  self inflicting another wound upon His wilting championship hopes! As Schlick’ ran wide or off track at race’s end and finished P11, the highest finishing Penske. As Power was P12 and McLaughlin thru NO fault of His own, was scored one lap down in P16.

 

Whilst how ‘bout that “Davey” Malukas in the Oh Kanaduh’ Tragically Hip mobile, aboard the No. 66 Meyer Shank Racing entry. As Malukas finished sixth, His first Top-10 of His truncated season…

 

While I still marvel over Theo Pourschair’s Madcap scramble across thoust Gory Puddle from France to the Toronto paddock with 62mins to spare! Before being the highest finishing McLaren in 14th.

 

Meanwhile, Colton Herta serenely led 81 of the 85-laps, effectively leading wire-to-wire! His first win in 41 races, since the spring Indy GP of 2022, Yikes!

 

Dixon went from P15 to third and Palou went from P18 to fourth! With three Ganassi cars in the Top-5, with Marcus Armstrong fifth. While All three Penske’s summarily imploded due to self-annihilation…

 

Meanwhile you could definitely say that the Unga-Boring’, ergo Hungarian Grand Prix was anything but boring this year!

 

Although I must confess I fell asleep midway thru the race’s encore presentation on le Deusch’, nee ESPN2 Sunday evening. And thus missed the whole McLaren pitstop shenanigans. Which basically boiled down to the team not firmly explaining to Lando Norris their intent of Him resuming second after this final pitstop!

 

As Racer’s Chris Medalin’s pointed out. The Delta between pitstops at Budapest is 20 seconds. And Lewis Hamilton who was coming like a freight train had carved the gap down to 22.5 seconds when McLaren told Lando to Box-box-box! Thus leaving Norris out any longer would have conceivably saw Sir Lewis jump the Mclaren for second place…

 

I was rootin’ for Oscar Piastri to win His maiden Grand Prix. But with Norris’s indignant self preservation over the final twenty laps reaching a crescendo. I have to say that Piastri’s win felt overly anti-climatic to Mwah!

 

And then there was vintage Maximus’ Hothead on display thru the entire race. Beginning with Max wingeing over His in-car radio about having to give second place bact to Lando after advancing with an off-track pass. As Verstappen got more ‘n more cranked up All race long, boiling over with His poorly judged pass upon Hamilton for third place! Seeing Max’s Red Bull getting airbourne; No Red Bull gives you wings Jokes here! Before Verstappen was forced to settle for fifth place. Ooh, poor Max. And no, I’m not gonna F-Off Max!

 

As understandably, but not deserved. Piastri was subdued over the radio and during the podium interviews following His first win. As McLaren really made a mess of this! But I enjoyed hearing the Australian National Anthem being played for the first time in several years. Since I didn’t bother to “watch”, Err listen to DannyRic’s (Ricciardo) Monaco victory in 2021… 

F1: sky sports Blames Marmots Up North Eh!

As I’ll try refraining from any Beaver Jokes…

 

It’s been a very long while since I’ve felt compelled to tune into any of ESPN, Err Sky sports Formula 1 TV coverage. But with Circuit Gilles Villeneuve’s Friday (Free Practice) FP1 session slated to air at 10:25AM Pacific, I thought what the Hell…

 

Little did I, or anybody else tuning in around thee Globe knew that the session would effectively be cancelled due to the most surreal circumstances.

 

As a red Flag was thrown before five minutes into the session had been completed, which initially was for the stricken Alpine of Pierre Gasly, who’d come to a complete Halt on track.

 

Yet instead of ever going “Green” again, the reason for this would be made known later. While the session wound down with No cars on track for over 50 minutes! As the Red Flag had remained for Safety reasons. Since the circuit’s CCTV camera system that the FIA relies upon for monitoring track action had unexpectedly failed.

 

As leave it to Sky Sports F1 Court Jester, Err Pit Reporter Theodore, Not Lenny! Krabitz to immediately go where I knew He was heading…

 

With Ted saying He reckoned that some Marmots had chewed thru the CCTV wiring! And then Thar was a lot of Guffawing over Marmots, Beavers, etc. For which the racetrack’s on a public Island after all! And it’s Not the Animals fault that Formula 1 shows up just once a year for four days!

 

Naturally, whenever I Hear the word Marmot or Beaver during a Kuhnadian’ Grand Prix weekend. I immediately Flashback to when ‘Ol ANT’, aka Anthony Davidson was driving for whom ‘Ol Professor (Steve) Matchett fondly called Super Best Friends. Ergo Super Aguri F1. When Davidson unexpectedly Smashed into one of the Furry Critters Wayback in 2007!

 

Being a ground Hog who obliterated Davidson’s Front wing when running an unaccustomed third place, being set to score His very first F1 points. Before having to make an unexpected stop in the Pits where His team was No where to be found! Leaving Davidson to finish a dejected P11!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2007/06/canadian-beaver.html

 

With the locally provided CCTV system being unable to be repaired quickly. The FIA finally announced after great consternation in the Broadcast Booth, along with everyone else including the F1 Teams and Drivers, to just Get On with It!

 

Thus a Half Hour’s extra running time would be added to FP2, beginning 30mins earlier, presumably due to the forecasted rain for the afternoon session, which did indeed arrive as forecasted. Unexpectedly seeing the two Silver Arrows finishing P1-2, with Sir Lewis leading the way…

 

As I just spent the rest of the weekend thinking out loud, may be somebody could drop one of those furry, loveable rodents into MaxiMillions’ Red Bull’s cockpit!

 

Yet with the inclement weather giving for Wet, Dry, and then Wetter! Conditions Saturday during Qualifying, wisely All of the Ground Hogs, rodents, etc. stayed Dry underground! Whilst presumably the Beavers were happier frollicing in the Saint Lawrence Seaway instead, Hya!

 

As I found it funny how once again the timbre of Kroftie’, aka David Kroft and Martin BillyBob’ Brundle calling a mixed bag Qualie’ session found me Dozing off during Q3… As Yawn! Verstappen won His third Pole in -a-row, Sigh! Having woken up just-in-time to hear Queen Danica doing the podium interviews.

 

And although I knew who’d win the race a day prior, I decided to tune into the Encore presentation Sunday fternoon, during what seemed like Sky sports was using the same local CCTV provider for their Satellite “Uplink”. Or did some pesky Ground Hogs nibble upon the cables? Since the sound quality was quite Horrendous!

 

And after hearing ‘Ol Nicole Briscoe coo one too many times ‘bout returning right where we’d left off immediately…

 

I just flitted in ‘N about the kitchen making dinner before finally tiring of listening to a bunch of noise being made over how McLaren and Thar Golden boy Lando (Norris) were Cornfuzed over His five second penalty for Unsportsmanlike Behaviour! And dualy switched off as Mercedes told another Bloody Brat Pack Brit, nee George Russell to retire the car on lap-53.

 

Since with some 45+ minutes of Airtime remaining, I wondered why am I bothering to wait to find out that MaxiMillions had won again, Sigh!

As even Max Hitting an unsuspecting Bird couldn’t deter Him from winning His 41st Grand Prix! 

F1: The Race Resumes. No, It Doesn’t!

Although we All know, It’s just a Two Horse race whenever it Stops Raining at Spa…

 

Have to admit, I totally didn’t miss Formula 1 at all over the past month’s Summer Break, and found myself musing over really wanting to go back to following F1?

 

As we All know, Golden child, nee Sir Lewis, or simply known as Lewis Hamilton led the F1 Drivers standings following the Hungarian Grand Prix by 8 points over Max Verstappen, with these two being in Thar own respective Zip code! As I only bothered with the Top five drivers who were above 100 points, since this already feels like a pretty compelling cut-off.

 

Whilst the much more important F1 Constructors standings sees a similar plight, once again with Mercedes and Red bull locked in a Mano e Mano Duel for the top slot. And who knows how many more Grands Prix there will be over the season’s second half, especially with Covid 19’s Delta variant picking up steam itself! And the F1 Calender having been further modified to now only 22 planned Grands Prix. As may be Liberty Media should get the Memo about Not trying to hold a ridiculous 23 events per season, Comprende?

 

And those  were my sentiments before Mother Nature Slapped Formula 1 Upside it’s Noggin’ at Spa!

 

As the following Points Standings were as of the Hungarian Grand Prix, and Don’t reflect the Farcical awarding of Half points at Spa Francorchamps!

 

F1 Constructors Points

(1) Mercedes: 303, (2) Red Bull: 291, (3) Ferrari: 163, (4) McLaren: 163, (5) Alpine: 77, (6) AlphaTauri: 68, (7) Aston Martin: 48, (8) Williams: 10, (9) Alfa Romeo: 3 and (10) Haas: 0

 

F1 Drivers Points

(1) Lewis Hamilton: 195, (2) Max Verstappen: 187, (3) Lando Norris: 113, (4) Valtteri Bottas: 108 and (5) Sergio Perez: 104

 

Not surprisingly, Red bull has elected to keep Sergio Perez for another season, while Ditto for Alpine with Fernando Alonso. With the world waiting with Baited Breath over Valtteri Bottas being replaced by George Russell. With the only question will it be a straight swap or will Bottas replace Kimi Raikkonen at Alfa Romeo?

 

Whilst F1 Grizzled Journo’ Joe Saward notes that le Reggie’ (Renault) parted company with it’s  Engine Boss, along with the Scandal over Spa Francorchamps Circuit Boss Nathalie Maillet being found Dead at Home in a suspected Messy Murdered triangle!

 

Mother Nature played Havoc with the Mighty Spa All weekend long, as Friday’s inclement weather saw Max Verstappen bringing out a second Red Flag after crashing in the final moments of Friday’s second practice session, albeit Verstappen was P1 at the end of (Free Practice) FP2.

 

Following the Big boyz’ final practice session, the Women’s W Series saw a six car Pile-up with multiple wrecked cars and two Drivers going to Hospital for precautionary checks, a la Lando Norris following a Wet ‘N Wooly F1 Qualifying session!

 

As All three Qualie’ sessions were held in varying precipitation, with a Chaotic Q3 Top 10 Shootout session Red Flagged for 42mins due to McLaren’s Lando Norris Mega Shunt at Eau Rouge on his first Flying Lap! As the famous corner was the site of multiple incidents and was the center of much consternation over the weekend, along with differing views upon it’s planned renovations for 2022.

 

Then the unthinkable happened, as Team Willy’s George Russell snatches an unlikely Pole position away from Golden Child, nee Sir Lewis (Hamilton) by a scant Millisecond!

 

But Verstappen Pips George Russell by 0.321 second on his final Q3 lap to Deny Russell from taking a Shock Pole for Williams, his first Front Row start, ahead of Golden Child in P3! With McLaren’s Dannyric’, aka Daniel Ricciardo in fourth and Aston Martin’s ‘lil Syd viddle’ (Sebastian Vettel) rounding out the Top 5.

 

Whilst both Valtteri Bottas and Lance Stroll (Aston Martin) were serving five place Grid penalties for causing separate first lap accidents at Hungary. And that was before finding out about Kimi Raikkonen changing to a different rear wing on his Alfa Romeo or Norris having had his Gearbox changed, resulting in penalties for  both of them…

 

As little did we know that Saturday’s Qualifying would ultimately determine the finishing order of the race’s podium, albeit I’d say that the race was a total Farce! As I said laughing mirthlessly Clusterfuck! When Nobody could figure out whether or not the race had ever officially started?

 

And Ye Piped Piper Chris Horner has to be wondering about signing Sergio Perez for another season after Checko’ Aqualplaned Offtrack during the Formation lap and initially “Totaled” his Red bull chariot, which definitely Had Wings!

 

Before longtime Red Bull Manager Jonathan Wheatley rightly Argued with F1 Race Director Michael Masi that the race had never started, and therefore Checko’ hadn’t received any “Outside Assistance.” Meaning Perez could resume racing if they could repair the car, which remarkably the Red Bull Mechanics did in record time All to No Avail!

 

And “we” Talk About Drivers earning Thar Money during tricky driving conditions, but I’d say that the Talking Headz’, Uhm Sky Sports F1 Pundits earned their Salaries Sunday Quite Handsomely, especially Pitlane reporter Karun “Cowboy” Chandhok! Whom lead Announcer, Err Presenter David “Kroftie” Kroft was giving much ribbing about being outside in the weather. And how he and Brundle were nice and dry, Warm and had the Heaters on Full Boil, Hya!

 

As they were keeping us entertained and amused as Martin Billybob’ Brundle said incredulously He’s never heard such a comment from trained F1 Personnel, when they played the sound clip of somebody on the Pit wall asking F1 Race Director Masi Did the Race Start or Not? To which Kroftie’ Cheekily said that Sky Sports Analyst ANT’, nee Anthony Davidson hasn’t done this much reading, reading the F1 Regulations since Grade School, Hya! To which ANT’ Brilliantly said Deadpan See Spot Run, Hya!

 

As I’ll admit that I got up at Oh Dark 30’ since I had a feeling after Saturday’s result it was gonna be a Zany race and I didn’t want to miss any of it, which typically gets rudely Sliced ‘n diced and Chopped Off in the ensuing Encore Presentations with multiple interruptions by the Mother’s Shoe Polish lady…

 

So I sat thru the whole Gory thing, for which I’ll tackle the Stupendous Gaff made by F1 in a separate post, since like typical this one’s running a Wee Bitamyte’ long! With two more items to comment upon.

 

Wasn’t paying full Attenzione to the start of the conversation during what clocked in as a 3hr 20mins Red Flag Delay on my Talking Keychain Clock. As think Kroftie’ was asking Brundle about whether or not Vettel should give back his Runner-up trophy from Hungary after later being Disqualified.

 

As my Ears pricked up when Brundle waxed poetically about how he still has the second place trophy along with the chrome screws in his trophy cabinet even though the FIA Record Books say He Doesn’t exist that year! As he muddled on finally recalling he’d passed Elio de Angelis in 1985 but went quiet after mentioning how de Angelis had Died in a Testing Accident.

 

Actually Brundle had finished second in the 1984 Detroit Grand Prix, whilst I’d forgotten he suffered a Horrendous Shunt at the following Dallas Grand Prix where he broke both ankles and feet! And reportedly his left anklw was so bad, that Doctors initially considered Amputating it! While Martin would never be able to left foot brake again! Whilst I’d also forgotten that was his Rookie  F1 season.

 

Although I know of the infamous ’84 Dallas Grand Prix, which I actually paid a friend to make copies of his photos from that race, it was before my Formula 1 Baptism.

 

Yet I am aware from the History Books how Tyrrell was ultimately excluded from that year’s records after presumably rival teams protested Brundle’s Runner Up finish at Detroit. Or was simply Disqualified afterwards for not meeting the FIA’s minimum weight requirements.

 

Since they’d been using illegal lead buckshot in the Tyrrell’s 012 chassis in order to stay competitive vs. the turbo cars as the lone Cossie’ (Ford Cosworth)

DFY  naturally aspirated V-8 runner that year.

 

As the Buckshot was mixed into the car’s onboard water tanks during final Pit stops to meet the minimum weight requirement, but done under High pressure the lead would spill out onto Pitlane, many times into other competitors Pit boxes…

 

Thus “Uncle Chopper’s” (Ken Tyrrell) F1 Team was barred from the season’s final three races and all results nullified, costing him considerable travel funds the following year, not to mention ultimately giving the FIA it’s wish of “Banning” non turbocharged entries for ’85. Albeit Tyrrell soldiered on with the 012 at the beginning of the 1985 season before it’s 014 Chassis with a Renault turbo engine arrived.

 

Whilst my Quip of The Year so far has to be Kroftie’s Brilliant parting words when signing off from Spa, saying in a typical Dry, Imperial British Monotone. We’ve been Talking Awhile Now and We Need some Water. Does Anybody Know Where We cand Find Some?

F1: 2021 Season Kicks Off in Bahrain

But will there be a Surprise winner? Or another Dull season of the Almighty Silver Arrows Kicking everybody’s Arses?

 

Otay Folks, it’s almost showtime! So set ‘em DVR’s for bright ‘N early Friday morning March 26^th if you want to see Formula 1 cars practicing at the Bahrain International circuit (BIC) in Sekir. As believe it’s on Stateside on ESPN U at Oh dark 30 Pacific, before the rest of the weekend, i.e.; Qualie’ and Race are on ESPN2, but you’ll need to check your TV Guide as Always.

 

And I’ll try not being too  cynical, but; This year will see the two Friday Free Practice (FP) sessions trimmed to just One hour apiece, down from the previous 90mins sessions.

 

So does that mean F1 ticket prices  will be reduced accordingly? Or will it be like your typical Shampoo bottle at said grocery store which is filled with air and even has the sides carved off for the same exact price of an old bottle? Oh Never Mind!

 

Meanwhile, Nah, No quarantine-while’ Jokes here Folks! Since I haven’t watched any Late Show with Steven Cobert  lately, but I digress…

 

This year sees the introduction of the long discussed, and presumably chafed over? Cost Cap with teams being limited to a budget of $147 million, since for each additional race over 21 events, each further race increases the budget by a cool one million dollars. But for each race under 21 ergo minus $1m. Hmm, if COVID further stirs up this year’s championship, Thar could be a reduction in the Budget Caps amount. As the Cap Doesn’t include Drivers Salaries, Team’s top 3 Executives Salaries or Marketing expenses, and other fine print details…

 

On the technical side, further attempts to lop off more Downforce from the 2021 Chassis has been made in three key areas, albeit I’m not going to try to define them intrincically since I’m Not a Gory engineer, etc.

 

The biggest change is to the car’s floor, which sees the flat portion in front of the rear wheels being pushed forwards and “Chopped” Diagonally, along with removing some other slots. Brake ducts are reduced sizewise, along with the Rear Diffuser “Fences,” which reputedly will see an overall Downforce reduction of 10%, although the FIA Scrutineers expect the teams to Claw-back 5% of these losses. Giving a total of a 5% Downforce loss for 2021. Along with the Pirelli Rubber seeing a slightly Stiffer design to protect against tyre delamination due to the harsh cornering loads – if I’ve understood this correctly?

 

As many are frothing over Red Bull and Max Verstappen’s sizzling Pre-season testing performance and picking him as the Odds On favourite to win in Bahrain this weekend.

 

And even if the Silver arrows were Slow during testing, do we really think that Sir Lewis won’t come roaring back en route to an amazing eighth World Championship title this season with a Gory record 23 races on it’s calendar. Although I’ll definitely be rootin’ against Golden Child, Uhm Lewis Hamilton since F1 needs some Shaking Up!

 

But I’m far more intrigued over how DannyRic’, aka Daniel Ricciardo performs in his new papaya coloured McLaren. Ditto for Checko’, nee Sergio Perez in the other Red Bull car. Along with who wins the Rookies Battle this year. As I’ll pick Yuki Tsunoda in the AlphaTauri to finish ahead of the Haas duo of Mick Schumacher and Nikita Mazepin.

 

And lastly, looking forward to seeing Team Willy’, ergo  Williams Racing not finishing Dead last this year, along with George Russell scoring multiple points!

 

So Tune-in this weekend if you’re Jonesin’ for some Bloody Open Wheel Racing action, specifically thou Pinnacle of Motorsport… 

Le Deush’ Crashes It’s Programming, Again!

 

But should we really be surprised by Ye Magical Kingdom ‘O Walt Disney and it’s Dizzying Shopping Networks Not Caring?

Heading into Ye Christmas Break, Obviously All of the News in motor racing revolves round Romain Grosjean’s Uber Scary Accident at Bahrain, which I’ll try getting to shortly. Although we’ve sorta moved on, especially with the unforeseen Deaths of SuperMario’s Twin Brother Aldo Andretti, whom apparently succumbed to the Dreaded Corona Virus at Age 80. Whilst the passing of John Paul, Jr. at Age 60 was more of a Shocker for Mwah. But as I’ve scribbled before, Motor Racing Never Sleeps!

Now having just learned of U.E. “Pat” Patrick’s Death at Age 91. As Patrick and El Capitano’, nee Roger Penske, along with Dan gurney are credited for the formation of CART, aka Championship Auto Racing Teams in 1979 after Gurney’s famous “White Paper.” Effectively the Blueprint for the founding of CART, the forebearer of today’s IndyCar. As only Roger Penske, who’ll celebrate his 84th birthday on February 20th remains from this trio…

MILLER: JPJ Should Have been Open Wheel Racing Great

But first, especially with the soothing tranquility of No major Motor Racing occurring, with the exception of this year’s Dakar. Suppose Y’all haven’t missed my grousing over ESPN2’s Taudry, Non-caring Attitude towards playing it’s Encore Presentations Stateside when they say they will, Righto?

F1: The Night ESPN2 Double Faulted at Flushing Meadows

Case-in-Point was the Turkish Grand Prix, remember that Y’all? Wayback on November 15, 2020. As somebody at ESPN2 decided at the last moment to move ther rebroadcast forward a Half-hour, which I Didn’t get the Memo, and naturally was Cornfuzed when I turned on thy Telie’ some 15+ minutes after the top of the hour, since I was curious what was playing then? And naturally was Peeved over having missed the race’s start!

Then Adding Insult to Injury – le Deush decided that instead of chopping one of those Fly In the Night Gyro Choppers $19.99 commercials. But Wait! If you act now we’ll send you a second Glow in the Dark Heli’ for only an Additional $5.95 shipping. Wait, what’s that you say Mothers Shoe Polish lady? Gasp, Sister! We’ll return immediately to exactly where we left off? Oh Never Mind!

Ye’ ESPN2 Bastards simply chopped out the Podium interviews instead! Which was Sacrilidge, since some Bloke I call Golden Child, nee Lewis Hamilton had just clinched his sevent Formula 1 World Championship. And we Didn’t even get to hear Sir Lewis’s Ah Shucks I’m speechless podium interview BASTARDOS

Naturally, the only thing that truly matters is that Romain Grosjean survived his Horrific Crash and is Alive and Well! As hopefully his Burned Hands have recovered fully by now.

Whilst I’ll admit now, that’s it’s become a wee Bitamyte’ foggy to Mwah, since it occurred awhile ago – And I didn’t bother Scribblin’ my initial thoughts immediately afterwards.

And Obviously SNAP! Oh where Art thou Jeffie’ of One Lap Down Fame? As I’m Arse-sumin’ I’m the only one who remembers his witty repartee ‘bout when Ye Graminator’, nee Graham Rahal used the word Obviously in his vernacular incessantly, but I digress…

Thus here goes Nothing, regarding what I recall, beside le Deush’ Screwing Me once again by “Magically” changing it’s airtimes without Any Warning Bastardoes!

Having fallen victim to ESPN2 moving it’s Turkish GP encore Presentation 30mins forward the race prior, I decided sometime after 7PM Pacific to warm up Thy Telie’ and see what was playing on ESPN2 after having been urged by Florencian F1 Spotter Jeannie to make sure I watched the Bahrain Grand Prix as the start was Amazing! And that’s All she was gonna tell me.

So I turned my television set on round 7:20PM for the listed 8PM replay and waited thru what seemed like an Uber’ long 5-6 minutes of Commercials before they came back to a Breathless Kroftie’, nee David Kroft exuding He’d Never seen a Crash like that in his life!

As this was at approximately 7:28PM Pacific, since I’ve gotten in the habbit of keeping my Talking Keychain Clock alongside me during TB Broadcasts since I’m always curious how long the Bleepin’ Commercials last! Err, I meant how Bloody Short each Ontrack segment is, but I digress further…

As all I could mutter outloud was WTF! What Gory Crash are you talking ‘bout? As you’re running an hour early you Mother Fokkers! Before ESPN2 proceeded to go 55mins W/O another commercial break, as I tend to recall my clock saying it was 8:25PM when that Mothers Shoe Polish sister Cooed’ her nauseating dribble onscreen.

And being Blind, have I mentioned that lately? “Watching,” Uhm Sitting in the Dark listening to a Formula 1 race at night during a Night F1 race is pretty much like seeing a “Triple Black,” ergo Black on Black on Black Dodge Hemi’ Cuda’ for Mwah, i.e.; black body paint, black vinyl top and a solid black interior, Get It? (Which I’ve actually seen one previously) When I’m trying to stare at the TV Screen…

Thus I couldn’t see KC’ Karun “Cowboy” Chandhok’s Frame-by-Frame Super Slow-Motion Disection of Romain’s crash. Ok, freeze It right there! Now you can see this tiny piece of Dirt coming towards Romain before he cranks the wheel Hard Right! Seriously?

As I Don’t remember who the culprits up front were? Since naturally All of the focus centered round Grosjean’s wicked looking crash with it’s ensuing Fireball! Since I do recall once briefly being able to see my TV Screen becoming a very bright yellowish colour momentarily! As Kroftie’ and Martin Billybob’ Brundle prattled on ‘bout it recalling Shades of Niki “the Rat” Lauda’s scary accident at the famed Nurburgring’s “long course” Wayback in 1976! When Niki almost burned to Death and was given last rights at Hospital!

And I wasn’t aware that the ubiquitous Armco Steel Barriers are actually constructed of multiple sheets together. Since I couldn’t figure out how Grosjean’s Haas VF-20 Split the Armco Barrier into Half! Although we must consider it to be very lucky that Romain’s car didn’t strike one of the posts holding said Armco squarely Head On, since My ex-Austin F1 Sherpa Claudio’ told me it appeared that Grosjean’s car crashed with the posts a meter appart on either side…

Thus for Mwah, it was much more Chilling listening to the printed reports via my NFB Newsline for The Blind’s telephone service of Romain describing in total clarity the sequene of events that occurred during his being trapped in a burning cockpit for 28 seconds! Not to mention him giving the Doctor of the F1 Medical Car SHIT for the way he was speaking to him after assisting him away from the Fire.

As it was quite eerie hearing Romain talk so calmly about at first thinking he must be upside down so he’d just wait for some track Marshall’s assistance, before looking in his mirrors
and seeing some flames. Trying to get out he get’s caught on something and sits back down in the car to think it over. And then noticing his gloves which are red turning a different colour he realizes his entire car is on fire and he needs to get out and pulls with All of his strength to unlodge his foot, which I believe pulls off one of his driving Boots, twists his body and shoulders and miraculously extricates himself from a burning racecar!

As I’m only sad he didn’t get to have his wish of finishing his Formula 1 career by racing at Abu Dhabi’s season finale, but totally Applaud him for forgoing racing in order to not cause further damage to his still healing burned hands, since obviously his F1 Career will be remembered by his escaping his burning racecar at Bahrain…

Although this twist ‘O fate did allow Pietro fittipaldi, Grandson of some legend named Emmo’, nee emerson Fittipaldi to make his Formula 1 Debut and contest the truncated season’s final two races.

Photographer Describes the Horror of Romain Grosjean’s Accident at the 2020 Bahrain Grand Prix

F1: The Night ESPN2 Double Faulted at Flushing Meadows

Huh? I thought the Women's W Series was Suspended this year?

Congratulation luh Duesh! Once again you Showed your True Colours! After I'd spent the whole day in my own virtual "bubble," making sure to not open any websites, listen to any Sports News or even turn on Thy Telie, in case of stumblin' across an errant update giving me the results of the Italian Grand Prix I was eagerly awaiting after having been told earlier in thou morning to make sure i definitely watched it!

Yet for Mwah, the Saddest part of it All, was my correctly predicting that ESPN2 would Screw Us Devoted Formula 1 Fans once again! As I was totally suspicious when learning that Gory Tennis was scheduled for 4hrs preceding the listed Encore Presentation of the Italian Grand Prix from 8-10:30PM Pacific.

After all, the week before I'd fallen asleep after Ah-Waitin' a Stupendous One Hour 25mins Delay for the Stinkin' (MLB) Baseball game to finish saw the Belgian Grand Prix Encore Presentation beginning at 8:25 Pacific!

And after the myriad 'O the Mothers Shoe Polish lady Cooing Sweetly we'll return exactly where we left off immediately following these riveting Glow in The Dark $19.95 Helicopter Commercials, Sigh!

With Golden Child', nee Lewis Hamilton's serene saunter into thou Sunset, continuously stretching his lead with ease at the Mighty Spa Francorchamps put me into a Sleep induced State and I simply Switched Off instead, perhaps only two-thirds of the race's distance?

Turning on Thy Telie 15 minutes before the F1 Replay in Questione was slated to begin, I was relieved to hear that the Min's Tennis match had ended and they were interviewing the winner with several minutes to spare before the top of the hour.

But then it got Weird! As Chrissie Evert and some other Talking Head began prattling on 'bout the upcoming Women's tennis match late night at Flushing Meadows, Huh? And then they interviewed the two female contestants in the Prime Time Pre-amble; WTF?

As Yeah, we Won't get, Uhm Fooled? Oh Never Mind! As luh Duesh' did I-T Again BASTARDOES! And not only Double Faulted by airing the Naomi Osaka match, but presumably caused scores of Formula 1 Fans to Turn Off their Televisions Fuming!

And feeling that ESPN2 should be Disqualified a la Novak Djokovic Had been earlier that day for Stupidly Hitting a line Marshall with a Defiant tennis ball lob after losing! And now fined $10k for his Sophomoric Antics.

Especially since this year's Italian Grand Prix will most likely end up being my choice for Formula One's Race of The year! Even if I Didn't get to watch it.

And with No Disrespect towards Monsieur Gasley, I'd really like to know who was the Bloke on the Pit Wall that called him in on lap-19, just One lap prior to Kevin Bacon' Magnussen's Safety Car inducing accident...

As every Stinkin' story I've read/listened to via my NFB Newsline for The Blind's telephone service or the Internet, since Mary Ellen sez' I sound Silly saying Internets so easily! And Nobody get's that Circa 2000's Joke Anymore; But I Digress...

Nothing ever truly explained how Gasley went from P10, including ironically going Argie-Bargie' with his Red Bull replacement Alexander Albon at the start! To resuming the race after the Red Flag in third place, as how many cars did he Jump during the Safety Car period?

But Hats Off to Pierre, who after all is the former 2016 GP2 Champion, Err now FIA Formula 2 Champion, being the final GP2 Champion before the series rebranding in 2017.

Gasley's also finished as series runner-up in the 2014 Formula Renault 3.5 Series Championship, ironically behind then another Red Bull Junior Driver named Carlos Sainz, Jr. And the 2017 Super Formula Championship, the latter I wished to mention briefly because of another Super formula graduate named Alex Palou, now contesting his rookie IndyCar season for Dale Coyne Racing with Team Goh, but this story's supposed to be about Monsieur Gasley Wee-Wee, Bon Appétit!

As its most certainly ironic that Scuderia AlphaTauri's Debutante Grand Prix comes at Monza, Home race of the Fienza based F1 Squad.

Who's only other Grands Prix victory occurred also at Monza twelve years ago, when a Fresh Faced Driver I call 'lil syd viddle', aka Sebastian Vettel claimed his and then Scuderia Toro Rosso's maiden victory at what's called The Temple of Speed! Aka Autodromo Nazionali Monza.

Also think it was The Guardian's Giles Richard reporting that this was the first F1 Podium since Hungary, 2012 to not have a single member of Mercedes, Ferrari or Red Bull on the podium, Yikes!

Not to mention being the first French Grand Prix winner since Olivier Panis's Shock Win in Thee Principality, nee Monte Carlo when he won the 1996 Monaco Grand Prix.

So Congrats Pierre Gasley, you Deserve It! And at only age 24, the question now must be will he ever win another Grands Prix in his budding Formula 1 career?

Pierre Gasley secures Maiden Grand Prix Victory in Accident plagued Italian Grand Prix