Although we All know, It’s just a Two Horse race whenever
it Stops Raining at Spa…
Have to admit, I totally didn’t miss Formula 1
at all over the past month’s Summer Break, and found myself musing over really
wanting to go back to following F1?
As we All know, Golden child, nee Sir Lewis, or
simply known as Lewis Hamilton led the F1 Drivers standings following the Hungarian
Grand Prix by 8 points over Max Verstappen, with these two being in Thar own
respective Zip code! As I only bothered with the Top five drivers who were above
100 points, since this already feels like a pretty compelling cut-off.
Whilst the much more important F1 Constructors
standings sees a similar plight, once again with Mercedes and Red bull locked
in a Mano e Mano Duel for the top slot. And who knows how many more Grands Prix
there will be over the season’s second half, especially with Covid 19’s Delta
variant picking up steam itself! And the F1 Calender having been further
modified to now only 22 planned Grands Prix. As may be Liberty Media should get
the Memo about Not trying to hold a ridiculous 23 events per season, Comprende?
And those were my sentiments before Mother Nature
Slapped Formula 1 Upside it’s Noggin’ at Spa!
As the following Points Standings were as of
the Hungarian Grand Prix, and Don’t reflect the Farcical awarding of Half
points at Spa Francorchamps!
F1 Constructors Points
(1) Mercedes: 303, (2) Red Bull: 291, (3)
Ferrari: 163, (4) McLaren: 163, (5) Alpine: 77, (6) AlphaTauri: 68, (7) Aston
Martin: 48, (8) Williams: 10, (9) Alfa Romeo: 3 and (10) Haas: 0
F1 Drivers Points
(1) Lewis Hamilton: 195, (2) Max Verstappen: 187,
(3) Lando Norris: 113, (4) Valtteri Bottas: 108 and (5) Sergio Perez: 104
Not surprisingly, Red bull has elected to keep
Sergio Perez for another season, while Ditto for Alpine with Fernando Alonso.
With the world waiting with Baited Breath over Valtteri Bottas being replaced
by George Russell. With the only question will it be a straight swap or will Bottas
replace Kimi Raikkonen at Alfa Romeo?
Whilst F1 Grizzled Journo’ Joe Saward notes that
le Reggie’ (Renault) parted company with it’s Engine Boss, along with the Scandal over Spa
Francorchamps Circuit Boss Nathalie Maillet being found Dead at Home in a
suspected Messy Murdered triangle!
Mother Nature played Havoc with the Mighty Spa All
weekend long, as Friday’s inclement weather saw Max Verstappen bringing out a
second Red Flag after crashing in the final moments of Friday’s second practice
session, albeit Verstappen was P1 at the end of (Free Practice) FP2.
Following the Big boyz’ final practice session,
the Women’s W Series saw a six car Pile-up with multiple wrecked cars and two
Drivers going to Hospital for precautionary checks, a la Lando Norris following
a Wet ‘N Wooly F1 Qualifying session!
As All three Qualie’ sessions were held in
varying precipitation, with a Chaotic Q3 Top 10 Shootout session Red Flagged for 42mins due to McLaren’s
Lando Norris Mega Shunt at Eau Rouge on his first Flying Lap! As the famous
corner was the site of multiple incidents and was the center of much consternation
over the weekend, along with differing views upon it’s planned renovations for
2022.
Then the
unthinkable happened, as Team Willy’s George Russell snatches an unlikely Pole
position away from Golden Child, nee Sir Lewis (Hamilton) by a scant Millisecond!
But Verstappen
Pips George Russell by 0.321 second on his final Q3 lap to Deny Russell from
taking a Shock Pole for Williams, his first Front Row start, ahead of Golden
Child in P3! With McLaren’s Dannyric’, aka Daniel Ricciardo in fourth and Aston
Martin’s ‘lil Syd viddle’ (Sebastian Vettel) rounding out the Top 5.
Whilst
both Valtteri Bottas and Lance Stroll (Aston Martin) were serving five place Grid
penalties for causing separate first lap accidents at Hungary. And that was
before finding out about Kimi Raikkonen changing to a different rear wing on his
Alfa Romeo or Norris having had his Gearbox changed, resulting in penalties
for both of them…
As little
did we know that Saturday’s Qualifying would ultimately determine the finishing
order of the race’s podium, albeit I’d say that the race was a total Farce! As
I said laughing mirthlessly Clusterfuck! When Nobody could figure out whether
or not the race had ever officially started?
And Ye Piped
Piper Chris Horner has to be wondering about signing Sergio Perez for another
season after Checko’ Aqualplaned Offtrack during the Formation lap and
initially “Totaled” his Red bull chariot, which definitely Had Wings!
Before
longtime Red Bull Manager Jonathan Wheatley rightly Argued with F1 Race Director
Michael Masi that the race had never started, and therefore Checko’ hadn’t
received any “Outside Assistance.” Meaning Perez could resume racing if they
could repair the car, which remarkably the Red Bull Mechanics did in record
time All to No Avail!
And “we”
Talk About Drivers earning Thar Money during tricky driving conditions, but I’d
say that the Talking Headz’, Uhm Sky Sports F1 Pundits earned their Salaries
Sunday Quite Handsomely, especially Pitlane reporter Karun “Cowboy” Chandhok! Whom
lead Announcer, Err Presenter David “Kroftie” Kroft was giving much ribbing
about being outside in the weather. And how he and Brundle were nice and dry,
Warm and had the Heaters on Full Boil, Hya!
As they
were keeping us entertained and amused as Martin Billybob’ Brundle said incredulously
He’s never heard such a comment from trained F1 Personnel, when they played the
sound clip of somebody on the Pit wall asking F1 Race Director Masi Did the
Race Start or Not? To which Kroftie’ Cheekily said that Sky Sports Analyst ANT’,
nee Anthony Davidson hasn’t done this much reading, reading the F1 Regulations
since Grade School, Hya! To which ANT’ Brilliantly said Deadpan See Spot Run,
Hya!
As I’ll
admit that I got up at Oh Dark 30’ since I had a feeling after Saturday’s
result it was gonna be a Zany race and I didn’t want to miss any of it, which
typically gets rudely Sliced ‘n diced and Chopped Off in the ensuing Encore
Presentations with multiple interruptions by the Mother’s Shoe Polish lady…
So I sat
thru the whole Gory thing, for which I’ll tackle the Stupendous Gaff made by F1
in a separate post, since like typical this one’s running a Wee Bitamyte’ long!
With two more items to comment upon.
Wasn’t
paying full Attenzione to the start of the conversation during what clocked in
as a 3hr 20mins Red Flag Delay on my Talking Keychain Clock. As think Kroftie’
was asking Brundle about whether or not Vettel should give back his Runner-up
trophy from Hungary after later being Disqualified.
As my
Ears pricked up when Brundle waxed poetically about how he still has the second
place trophy along with the chrome screws in his trophy cabinet even though the
FIA Record Books say He Doesn’t exist that year! As he muddled on finally
recalling he’d passed Elio de Angelis in 1985 but went quiet after mentioning
how de Angelis had Died in a Testing Accident.
Actually
Brundle had finished second in the 1984 Detroit Grand Prix, whilst I’d forgotten
he suffered a Horrendous Shunt at the following Dallas Grand Prix where he
broke both ankles and feet! And reportedly his left anklw was so bad, that Doctors
initially considered Amputating it! While Martin would never be able to left
foot brake again! Whilst I’d also forgotten that was his Rookie F1 season.
Although
I know of the infamous ’84 Dallas Grand Prix, which I actually paid a friend to
make copies of his photos from that race, it was before my Formula 1 Baptism.
Yet I am
aware from the History Books how Tyrrell was ultimately excluded from that year’s
records after presumably rival teams protested Brundle’s Runner Up finish at
Detroit. Or was simply Disqualified afterwards for not meeting the FIA’s
minimum weight requirements.
Since
they’d been using illegal lead buckshot in the Tyrrell’s 012 chassis in order
to stay competitive vs. the turbo cars as the lone Cossie’ (Ford Cosworth)
DFY naturally aspirated V-8 runner that year.
As the
Buckshot was mixed into the car’s onboard water tanks during final Pit stops to
meet the minimum weight requirement, but done under High pressure the lead
would spill out onto Pitlane, many times into other competitors Pit boxes…
Thus “Uncle
Chopper’s” (Ken Tyrrell) F1 Team was barred from the season’s final three races
and all results nullified, costing him considerable travel funds the following
year, not to mention ultimately giving the FIA it’s wish of “Banning” non turbocharged
entries for ’85. Albeit Tyrrell soldiered on with the 012 at the beginning of the
1985 season before it’s 014 Chassis with a Renault turbo engine arrived.
Whilst my Quip of The Year so far has to be Kroftie’s Brilliant parting words when signing off from Spa, saying in a typical Dry, Imperial British Monotone. We’ve been Talking Awhile Now and We Need some Water. Does Anybody Know Where We cand Find Some?
