Wednesday, September 1, 2021

Formula One’s Rain Gate’

Since when It Rains in the Ardennes Forest, it Pours!


As I’ve already mentioned, I got up at Bloody Oh Dark 30’ and “Sat” thru the entire Gory Nonstop Spa Francorchamps Rain Delay Dribble as Formula 1 desperately tried to NO Avail to get the Belgian Grand Prix in, as it’s been Bloody Raining Nonstop Thar for three days in-a-row, or may be it’s still raining now, who knows?


As the race should have never even been attempted starting, but then again there’s those Silly G-Damn Television Contracts, not to mention Promoters Obligations Blah Blah Blah, since we All need to be Entertained…


Since in typical  pure, true egalitarian Capitalistic fashion, as Uncle Bernaughty’, nee Mr. Bernard Charles Ecclestone famously Decreed time after time during his 40yr F1 reign: The Show Must Go On!


As why did running the Hungarian Grand Prix the year that the Danube River had Flooded over it’s massive protective Flood Barriers instantly come to mind?


And whilst the Sky sports F1 Pundits ceaselessly Prattled on about the 2011 Canadian Grand Prix, reportedly the Sport’s longest ever Grand Prix. All I recall is the Shear Ecstasy ‘O Bloody ‘Ol Jense’ snatching victory away from ‘lil Syd Viddle’ (Sebastian Vettel) on the race’s final lap after Jenson Button came from Dead last!


Yet my Mind kept Ah-Wonderin’ about what year was it that I sat up in the Dark at Blogmeister Miguel’s House waiting out that Sodden South Korean Grand Prix? Which had a multiple hours Rain Delay, Err Red Flag before finally commencing in earnest! As I tend to recall F1 Grizzled Journo’ Joe Saward musing over various Water Moccasins and Snakes Ah-Plenty’ in the outlying portions of the track…


And I personally think the F1 Race Director Michael Masi Screwed Up, since there was absolute pandemonium over whether or not the race had ever begun? Since they started behind the Safety Car but some Gory 4 Hours later, Sky sports played a clip clearly showing the Starting lights were flashing Amber and hence, the race had never officialy begun! So there was No Start, but the race would be reduced by One lap to 43 whenever it began. And I won’t even bother with the whole Sergio Perez Outside Assistance Shumozzle!


But I did actually enjoy sitting thru the 3hr 20mins Red Flag Rain Delay since the TV Pundits were Brilliantly entertaining, which after All is Thar Bloody Job!


So the race that Never was, basically boiled down to the majority of the grid finishing where they Qualified Saturday, with Max Verstappen being declare the winner, Williams George Russell a Shock second, his 1st ever podium on his 50th race start and Lewis Hamilton third. And since they only ran two laps or was it three? I.e., the minimum number required to be technically Classified a race with Half points awarded, naturally the Confusion and Controversy is in Full “On” mode!


As Hamilton says they should have never raced and Verstappen said the Race Stewards made the right call, Uh Duh, why wouldn’t he say that since he’s declared the winner, Uhm Butterfingers!


I have to say I totally agree with Vettel who said It’s A Joke! And Fredrico Suave, aka Fernando Alonso saying Christmas Came Early!  “Some were given Gifts for their Positions even though we didn’t Race they Got the Points!” Or Pierre Gasley and Carlos Sainz, Jr. saying they Didn’t Deserve being Awarded Points! The race was simply a Travesty! As Shades of the 2005 United States Grand Prix at Indianapolis Motor Speedway’s infamous Michelin Tyre Gate Screamed thru my Head!


And Although Golden Child’s absolutely 100% Correct about why they ran two processional Parade laps behind the Safety Car, unfortunately I have trouble with Sir Lewis’s motives for wanting the Fans to be Refunded, since when has he ever truly cared about the Fans? I.e.; NO Race run. As may be he could Dig into his Pockets and come up with a “fiver” for All of the Fans who Attended Spa from the reported $250 million Pounds He’s made from racing in Formula 1, Perhaps?


Since I tend to believe Hamilton’s more worried about the 5 Championship points he lost, knowing the title could be decided by less, as he now only leads Verstappen by 3 points heading to Zandvoort for the Dutch Grand Prix, which will be sold Out with a Solid Sea of Max’s Orange Army!


But All I could Scream in my Head is you’re a Lying Sack ‘O shit Michael Masi! No shit Sherlock, you made the Drivers run the minimum number of laps in order to fulfill the contractual obligations of Formula 1 (Liberty Media) Not having to refund anybody any of your greedy Dinero and “So it goes,” the wheels ‘O Capitalism keep turning freely…


Since none other than Martin Billybob’ Brundle so eloquently said during the elongated TV Broadcast: “Commerciality of The Sport!” When discussing why the F1 Race Director (Masi) was so Hell Bent on getting the race in.


Although in Masi’s Defense, David Kroft did point out how complex the logistics of moving the Grand Prix to Monday would have been, with the main stumbling point being the availability of Track Marshals, since Monday was a normal work day for them.


While I now Flashback to Austin’s 2015 USGP Mud Fest, or the ’04 Japanese Grand Prix where F1 was forced to hold it’s first ever Qualifying and Race being run both on Sunday due to a Typhoon, both of which I attended. And even though many will debate this. Formula 1 had better come up with a new contingency plan, especially if Liberty Media remains so Hell Bent on Squeezing every Bloody cent outta Formula 1 in order to line it’s pockets with pushing for a ridiculous 25 Grands Prix per season…


Guess What? ‘Ol Mother Nature’s just gonna keep causing Havoc, even if you Don’t believe in that Climate Change thingy’, but notice how IndyCar and NASCAR are more ‘n more weather related affected due to their compacted schedules, and that’s for two series that have Backup Plans…