Another lost weekend of Shouting

As Are, You, Excited Now? Speak up you frothing Announcers…

 

Hmm, why did that title make me immediately think of an ‘Ol Rush song titled Between the Wheels, and the words Another Wasteland, Eh? Although it’s actually “another War, Another Wasteland and Another Lost Generation”, Righto Geddy…

 

“To live between the Wars in our time

Living in real time

Living in Good times

Holding on to Yesterdays,

 

You know how that Rabbit feels

Going under your speeding wheels

Wheels can cut you down

But the Wheels of time

Just pass you by”

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj1eUnNOvpY

 

Spent the entire weekend of April 11-13 consuming four separate motor racing series, i.e.; IndyCar, IMSA, formula 1 and MotoGP, Gulp! With my primary focus upon Indy Cars at The Beach’, ergo Long Beach. Along with the IMSA Sprint race which featured the return of Robert Wickens; beginning with Friday’s first IndyCar practice session.

 

Catching half of Saturday morning’s second IndyCar practice on (Fox Sports) FS1, as FS2 pulled Ye ‘Ol Switcheroo. Bumping the MotoGP Sprint race to that afternoon in favour of showing us more Bassmasters, Fish On!

 

Then IndyCar’s Qualie’ session capped off by the 140mins IMSA Sports Car “Sprint” race.

 

Next I “watched”, Err listened to the Bahrain Grand Prix Sunday morning, followed by the Long Beach Grand Prix and the nightcap being MotoGP’s delayed airing of the Qatar Grand Prix.

 

Now perhaps it’s just Mwah, but All of these races seemingly blurred into one long set of Boring motor races! Especially both F1 and MotoGP, the latter definitely not worth waiting until 9PM Pacific to watch, Urgh! As what did Raymond Hando say about late race start times ruining your day?

 

So, I didn’t catch the Australian Grand Prix, other than listening to the Highlights package. Being the most exciting of the season’s first four races, largely due to inclement weather, i.e.; passing rain shower…

 

Yet Formula 1 has largely been processional, even though I’m happy that Oscar Piastri has won twice from pole. Other than I hope He won’t get too swell-headed over thinking He can win the championship. As He’d be smart to ask His manager Mark Handlebarz’ Webber how that worked out Yas Isle 15 years ago!

 

Cannot say that IndyCar has been Uber exciting either, albeit at least there’s been passes for the win, even if Alex Palou won the first two races, followed by second place at Long Beach, where effectively Kyle Kirkwood led wire-to-wire from pole.

 

As it’s funny how at least the DW12 seems more capable of following other racecars and allowing for passing, but is this a biproduct of Firestone’s different rubber coumpounds?

 

Whilst Pirelli makes a range of different compound tyres for Formula 1, the choice of five various compounds in this range seems to be too small for meaningful tyre performance drop-off. As just consider how many drivers ran a one stop race at Shanghai…

 

As it’s even more funny how the current F1 chassis regulations introduced in 2022 were specifically designed to allow for the trailing car to run closer behind and encourage passing! Yet the ten F1 Constructors designs has seemingly converged to the point that this is no longer applicable.

 

Making a Farce of Formula 1 further, is the FIA instituting a mandatory second tyre stop at Monaco this year, to artificially induce some passing upon the narrow streets of Ye Principality, where overtaking is nye impossible…

 

Meanwhile, Team Penske and it’s factory Porsche 963’s have been untouchable. With the team’s No. 7 entry having won the first three races, Yawn! As don’t know if Long Beach was their second 1-2 finish?

 

Whilst Ye Pinball Wizard’, aka Marc Marquez returned to His domineering, winning ways in Qatar. Claiming His fourth, consecutive pole, along with four consecutive Sprint races on the trot. Plus His third Grand Prix win in Doha, Yawn!

 

Oops, what about the Shouting you might be saying? As I just don’t understand why the various TV Announcers think they need to Shout at us to get excited?

 

Although I did tune-in to my very first dosage of the new FOX TV announce lineup. For which I must say, Will Buxton seemed completely, totally out of place!

 

While Jack Harvey didn’t seem “Stiff” to Mwah, just think it’s His dry, British accent coming across…

 

As my favourite Announce Duo of the weekend was IMSA Radio’s John Heindhaugh and Ryan Marin during the Long Beach Sprint race. As Marin manages to interject enthusiasm without shouting or screaming. And Heindhaugh’s always entertaining.

 

Whilst the King of Screamers Kroftie’, aka Sky sports f1 lead Pundit David Kroft was doing His usual bit to keep me awake thru another boring F1 race!

 

And I don’t wanna say that the Long Beach IndyCar race was boring, But! Even Mark Gravelly’ James didn’t bother shouting euphorically over Kirk Kirwood winning, which speaks volumes to Mwah.

 

Yeah, it’s gonna be a Gory long, Hard season of motor racing, if this it what will typically transpire the rest of the year, outside that ‘lil ‘Ol Oval track at 16th and Georgetown. Provided we Don’t have more multiple faux Red Flag stoppages, or some Golf game on Thy Telie!

 

Then again, I suppose a boring race weekend is better than NO racing at all, Eh?

 

Partial song lyrics from: Between the Wheels by Rush. From their 1984 Album Grace Under Pressure. 

Think You’re Having A Bad Day?

As perhaps I should have chosen U2’s Sunday, Bloody Sunday instead?

 

Naturally, Y’all can figure out why that ‘Ol “Tell Me why I Don’t like Mondays” song I Don’t like Mondays by the Boomtown Rats springs to mind here, Righto?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yteMugRAc0

 

As I realize it’s what He gets paid millions of dollars, Euros whatever to do for a living, but you’ve still got to feel for thee Martinator’s Nightmarish year! And how much things would be going differently if not romping on that cold Michelin tyre at Sepang during pre-season testing Wayback’ in February…

 

Thus we know that Jorge Martin crashed heavily and broke His hand and fractured a foot during that test outing. Requiring surgery to His right hand to place a screw in a metacarpal. While His left foot was left to heel on it’s own.

 

Then on the Monday preceding the season opener Thailand MotoGP race, Martin injured Himself again in a training accident. Suffering multiple fractures to His left hand, including the thumb carpal! Needing further surgery to repair His broken wrist…

 

Martin ultimately missed the first three rounds at Thailand, Argentina and Circuit Of the Americas, (COTA) before making His Aprilia debut at Qatar.

 

Now I could play Monday morning Quarterback here, but that seems pointless. As All racing drivers and riders seemingly live under the mantra of you’re only as good as your last race. And you don’t want to be out of circulation too long, less being forgotten or replaced…

 

Yet with the amount of physical pain Jorge was enduring at Qatar, it now seems obvious He rushed His return to racing, before disaster struck once again the Hapless, reigning MotoGP World champion.

 

Arse-suming Y’all know that Martin lost control of His motorcycle during Sunday’s Grand Prix, with Fabio di Giannantonio directly behind Him. With the Italian rider having nowhere to go and striking the fallen Martin in the back on-track with His front wheel!

 

Jorge ultimately suffered eleven broken ribs and a collapsed lung! Staying in Hospital for several days with a chest tube to drain fluids from His lung cavity before being released. But having to wait for His lung to sufficiently heal, i.e.; one to three weeks before being cleared to fly home, due to the altitude’s pressure difference. Before further treatment, rest and recovery, all under the supervision of His phalanx of medical professionals, i.e. Doctors and Physio’ commencess…

 

Martin will obviously miss several more races, with scuttlebutt suggesting the Spaniard will be out of action a further three months, with test rider Lorenzo Savadori further deputizing at Jerez, and presumably afterwards.

 

Yeah, now I know Why I don’t like Mondays… 

Alien Shivers in Lone Star State

But at least like All Ghoulish Ghosts, He didn’t Break any bones!

 

Whale’, my original working title was COTA Ghost Haunts Marquez, or something to that effect. Although when attending multiple U.S. grands Prix at Circuit Of The Americas, I believe that Austin Sherpa Claudio told me that they were Aliens! Although back then I think that The doctor’, aka Valentino Rossi was the lead Alien, ci? With Jorge Lorenzo and Rossi’s arch nemesis Ye Pinball Wizard, aka Marc Marquez making up this trio of Kneedraggers’ who could simply do things out of this world on their Scooters!

 

Although before I attended those COTA rounds over a decade ago, the Aliens were known to be Rossi, Lorenzo, Casey Stoner and apparently even Danni Pedrosa was included…

 

Whilst don’t know about Y’all, but I’m getting really tired of playing TV Network Wackamole for MotoGP! And after first thinking that Tru TV was Dropping the Ball again, since I couldn’t find the Austin round of MotoGP on it’s programming lineup. I was surprised to discover that it was on Fox Sports now instead…

 

Although not sure how effective hosting the premiere Kneedraggers motorcycle racing on the planet on FS1 and FS2 is? Hmm, makes me think of IndyCar and Motorsports, sans NASCAR getting third or fourth preference, but I digress!

 

As others will already be far ahead of Mwah, since it wasn’t until after COTA that I discovered that Fox Sports had inked a multi-year contract to host MotoGP beginning this season. While I have to say that I found last year’s Tru TV and Turner Sports Simulcast of the former Eurosports coverage far superior…

 

Although I didn’t know about it until after Sunday, Ye Pinball Wizard reportedly had His first crash aboard the Werks’ Ducati during Friday practice, which sounds like it was an outlier of things to come, Eh?

 

During Saturday’s Sprint race, Marc Marquez left an ominous, long black rubber streak upon the circuit when He nearly went down during the beginning stages of the Sprint. When being harried by Pecco’ Bagnaia and brother Alex for the lead! Yet Marc managed to inexplicably save His “slide” by simply putting the Hammer down and romping off for what the announcers gushed over being “Five for Five, in 25!”

 

As Marquez had set history to that point, having claimed all three pole positions, all three Sprint races, and both Sunday races to date.

 

But All streaks must come to an end sometime, to which Marquez’s was no exception. Seemingly enroute to another dominating victory on Sunday, leading by a comfortable 2.2-seconds. Marquez planted His front tyre on the white kerbing which still had some Slippery liquids on it. Lost traction and control of His bike and presto-change-O-O-Oh’, Crashed whilst leading!

 

As I have to say I admired Marquez’s spirit and determination to not Quit, which is probably why He’s a multi-times MotoGP World Champion! Even though He’d destroyed His all important fairing, along with ripping off a footpeg. Marquez tried soldiering on in P18 and dropping for five more laps before retiring.

 

As the announcers prattled on about how you simply cannot ride a modern MotoGP bike without a fairing due to the incessant buffeting. Especially when you’re doing routine laps above 300 Clicks’, i.e.; over 186mph, Sheisa! Since I think they were reaching 200mph at COTA?

 

Whilst I haven’t even discussed the pre-race rain shower that reaked havoc upon the grid. As Fabio Quartararo crashed during a “sighting” lap when trying to navigate the wet Ash-fault’ on a “Dry” Scooter’, i.e.; dry, slick tyres. With satellite Yamahopper’ rider  (Jack) Thriller’ Miller stopping to pick up the French rider.

 

Have to say it was during that Saturday’s Sprint race when Marquez almost crashed that I began wondering to myself how long it will be until He crashes again? And how long until He injurs Himself again?

 

Since Sunday’s race saw Werks’ Ducati teammate Bagnaia picking up the pieces after having aggressively broken up the Marquez train, as the two Spanish riders have been glued together, finishing 1-2 in every event until Sunday! As Pecco’ had barged His way into second place before Marquez crashed out!

 

As have to say the rider I’m most impressed by early on is Alex Marquez, the younger and mostly overlooked brother of Marc. Who’s been outstanding on the satellite Gresini squad on it’s year old Desmosedici GP24 Duc’. Leaving Austin with the MotoGP championship points lead, by one marker ahead of His brother. Having finished Vice champion, Err runner-up in all six races…

 

Another rider who’s impressed Mwah is Japanese MotoGP rookie Ai Ogura, riding for the Trackhouse MotoGP Team, on the “second” tier Aprilia outfit’s bikes.

 

As believe He netted an impressive fourth place finish in the season opener at Thailand, and was sixth overall prior to Qatar. Where Aprilia’s top Dawg’ and reigning MotoGP Champion Jorge Martin will make His debut for the Italian manufacturer, having been medically cleared by MotoGP on Thursday, prior to Qatar’s Friday practice.

 

As it was just plain weird not having thee Martinator’ on the MotoGP grid these past three events. Since with a nickname like that, you’d Arse-sume’ He’d fall into thoust “Alien” category, Eh?

 

Although Jorge’s certainly being Haunted by the Ghouls of Christmas Past right now! 

Disappointment abounds over Airwaves, at Racetrack

Can you Hear me now Fox and IndyCar Radio? As I just remembered that ‘Ol Internet  Error code 404…

 

Jumping ahead of myself here. But as David Land recently used the word “Optics” in His discussion regarding the Thermal Club IndyCar race. I’d have to say that MotoGP has a Ginormous optics issue Stateside!

 

As seriously, the lone United States Grand Prix isn’t even aired live, WTF! And dually treated like the proverbial Red Headed Step Seester’ by being aired at 6:30PM Pacific on FS1. Although that’s only if the NASCAR race at Martinsville doesn’t run long, or the NHRA experience any problems…

 

As how many people will either know about where the MotoGP race is being broadcasted or care about tuning in?

 

“It’s A Shame, such A Shame

No one was able to ease the pain

A Red-Headed Wild Flower

Growing in the wrong garden”

 

Sing it Little River Band…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAe7ARwDYzU

 

Yet this No Fenders post is supposed to be about the Thermal Club IndyCar race, along with the Chinese Grand Prix Formula 1 held in Shanghai, which for Mwah, were both fairly processional races. Whilst I’ll leave the debate over whether or not IndyCar should return to the Thermal Club for others to pontificate over.

 

Surely Y’all have read, heard or witnessed FOX’s “Brownout” during the Thermal Club IndyCar race. Which according to the IndyStar’s Nathan Browne lasted for 20 mins from approximately lap 28 to 42, when a circuit breaker “tripped” itself in one of the two IMS Productions Broadcast Trucks. As the root cause seems to have been the Heat, with the Fahrenheit nudging up against 90 degrees ambient.

 

Yet one must say it’s a sad state of affairs when your default is to switch to the NASCAR race in progress whilst trying to fix this failure…

 

Being ensconced once again on the tranquil Vashon Island for the St Pete IndyCar season opener. I grew very annoyed with the multiple Dumping's the IndyCar Radio Broadcast had during the race. Even totally losing the broadcast twice, for which I just had to wonder if it was our internet service on Ye Island? Although as far as I know, no Washington Sate ferry’s have “accidently” cut any telecommunications cables from the Mainland, but I digress…

 

Yet the Thermal Club’s IndyCar Radio broadcast mimicked St Pete’s, Urgh! As perhaps the new IMS Production trucks have a new Bark ‘O Meter installed? Since it seems that whenever Mark Gravelly’ James goes into full-stop manufactured frothing, Screaming excitement, the Intrawoods’ drops the broadcast! Thus again, the programme went “Dark” on the opening lap of the race, as I frantically refreshed the page to try finding out what I’d missed? When apparently Sparky’, aka Devlin DeFrancesco tried His Bestest Paul Tracy Chrome Horn treatment on ScottyMac’, ergo Scott McLaughlin. With Sparky’ chirping at McLaughlin after the race…

 

Then again, the Internets’ feed Dumped when James went into a lather over Alex Palou chasing down the race’s leader Pato O’Ward, WTF! Actually it was All of the excitement over Palou going wheel-to-wheel with Christian Lundgaard which I had to frantically refresh. And then again at the finish of the race!

 

Hmm, perhaps the new, waxed string used for IndyCar Radio events melted in the Coachella Valley Heat, Eh?

 

And this doesn’t include when the broadcast was dropped momentarily before resuming broadcasting. With James noting how they’d lost timing and scoring during the race, presumably when FOX had gone Dark for those twenty minutes.

 

Although there was less dropping of the broadcast for this second race of the season. Nonetheless, when Dumping at the race’s crucial points, it just makes the whole event feel overly disjointed and somewhat hard to enjoy! Since after all I’d Arse-sume that most of us loyal, diehard racing Aficionados tune-in for entertainments sake, Eh? And I’d guess that the touted Youth Generation Demographic IndyCar is so desperately chasing doesn’t put up with such continuing nonsense!

 

Meanwhile,you’d have to say that the Chinese Grand Prix was even duller than the IndyCar race, for which I was happy with the outcome of Oscar Piastri, my Numero doce F1 driver leading wire-to-wire. As the only real excitement during the Sunday morning’s 9AM Pacific replay,Err Encore presentation with copious amounts of the Mothers shoe Polish lady Nicole Briscoe’s insessant interuptions was the Ferrari Boyz’ playing Argie-Bargie. As what front wing endplate Ma? As Leclerc is Faster than you Louis, please confirm…

 

Nope, the real Shanghai fireworks occurred some three hours after the race, when both Suderiea cars were DQ’ed, the first time in Ferrari’s 75yr history to have both racecars disqualified from an event! Although Pierre Gasly’s Alpine was also disqualified.

 

Both Gasly and Leclerc’s cars were disqualified due to being underneath the minimum weight, presumably due to running ultra-long stints on the Hard Pirelli tyre compound, having both been one kilo underweight, i.e.; 2.2lbs.

 

As recall that George Russell was stripped of His victory at Spa-Francorchamps last year when suffering a similar fate, having run an extra-long stint on the hard rubber compound, albeit several other drivers at Shanghai also ran long stints to no detriment. Meaning that Ferrari and Alpine simply cut the margins too close.

 

Hamilton’s Ferrari SF25 was disqualified for excessive plank wear, with the minimum allowance being 9mm after race’s end. WithLouis’s Ferrari measuring 8.6mm on both the RHS and Centerline, and 8.5mm on the LHS, or visa-versa, since I don’t remember now. Other than the “Jabarock” glass infused “plank” to prevent teams from running their chassis too low was worn below the minimum ground clearance, and so it goes…

 

And that’s before we even get to Red Bull’s latest round of Driver Whackamole! Whilst hopefully IndyCar can sort out it’s media transmissions issues before Long Beach, which presumably will be another Hot race? 

MotoGP’s 2025 Season gets off to Rough Start

Even though The Boyz’ are Back on the Championship Trail now…

 

Yeah, it’s old news over the spate ‘O crashes during the Sepang Pre-season test prior to going racing at Thailand on March 2nd. As MotoGP seems to be the hardest of the major racing categories for me to follow, other than “Watching”, Err listening via TruTV, even if my Gory Freakin’ Cable TV bill just increased again, seriously Spectrum? Right, I keep forgetting Spectrum’s motto, We Care, chuh-Ching!

 

Thus we know that thee Martinator’, nee Jorge Martin crashed heavily and broke His hand and fractured a foot during testing, reportedly also shattering His helmet’s visor upon landing violently! Requiring surgery to His right hand to place a screw in a metacarpal. While supposedly His left foot wasn’t operated on.

 

As I’d have to say that Moto Matter’s David Emmett gave the most “clear” observation of what really happened at Sepang during Martin’s “High-side” crash on Day-1 of testing. Noting how Aprilia Boss Massimo Rivola’s “Job” is to shield His star rider from media  criticism. Blaming Michelin for Jorge’s crash, while the tyre supplier’s infra-red tyre casing sensor noted Martin’s inside tyre temperature being lower than prescribed.

 

Thus I’d agree that Martin simply pushed to hard too soon on a “cold” Michelin tyre and paid the price for His normal aggressiveness just an hour into testing…

 

Meanwhile Aprilia satellite Trackhouse Racing rider Raul Fernandez also crashed at Sepang on Day-1, breaking a meta carpel in His hand a la Martin; with no word if both Aprilia crashes were tyre related?

 

Whilst sadly, one of my many favourite MotoGP riders, Fabio di Giannantonio broke His collarbone at Sepang when doing a “Wheelie” that went wrong, Butterfingers!

 

All three riders underwent immediate surgery in Europe. With both Martin and di Giannantonio skipping the final Pre-season test on February 10-12 at the Chang International Circuit in order to be fit for the season opener. While Trackhouse confirmed that Fernandez would attempt to take part in the final test at Buriran, in order to get more valuable “Saddle”, Err Seat-time.

 

Whilst I’ve no idea how long di Giannantonio’s injury recovery time will be? Although Arse-sume He’ll be racing with a titanium plate or hardware attached to His damaged collarbone in order to resume racing…

 

Then on the Monday preceding the season opener Thailand MotoGP race, Martin injured Himself again in a training accident. This time suffering multiple fractures to His left hand, including the thumb carpal!

 

Thus Jorge needed further surgery to repair His broken wrist. And was set to miss at least the Thailand race with test rider Lorenzo Savadori replacing Him. Although I don’t see how Martin will be suitably recovered for the Argentina round a Fortnight later.

 

Having been away on Holiday once again, Groan! During both the Thai and Argentine Grands Prix, obviously I don’t know the current health status of these three riders, albeit Martin seems the most doubtful to have raced yet?

 

Whilst naturally, I Arse-sume that di Giannantonio and Fernandez have been competing, and that Ducati as typical has won the first two rounds at Thailand and Argentina. Presumably an intra-team scrum between Francesco “Pecco” Bagnaia and Marc Marquez. For which are Emmett’s choice for who’ll win this year’s MotoGP title. As talk about going out on a limb with that prediction…

 

And will this weekend’s U.S. Grand Prix at Circuit Of The Americas (COTA) see Ye Pinball Wizard’, nee Marc Marquez return to His throne as King of COTA, now that He’s once again on a fully competitive Scooter’, having crushed the competition so far!

 

Whilst in my absence, Jorge Martin divulged the Thursday prior to the Argentine GP that His recovery was taking longer then expected. And that not only would He not compete in Argentina, but would also definitely miss the COTA round. Along with prossibly the following Qatar Grand Prix. Which I’m guessing He’ll miss. Meaning theMartinator’ will presumably miss at least the first four rounds of this year’s MotoGP Championship, scuttling His title defense… 

Golden Tailpipe Awards: The 2024 Streamliner edition

        

RADD!” A Modern Day interpretation of the Golden Submarine originally made famous by Barney Oldfield debuted at the 2008 SEMA Show. (Image source: autoblog.com)

 

Yeah, it’s that time ‘O year again. Yuhs know, Thee Happy, Joyous Shiny time ‘O thoust New Year. when I subject Y’all to mor of my witty repartee from thoust Mystical Isle of Nofendersville with my tardy, End of Year Overall Winners selections, Mateys! Which Y'all Clearly look forward to, Man Overboard!

 

As Here goes Nothin', with another Bevy 'O totally Un-Scientific, Nonsensical, Zany “First Take” Off Ye Cuff selections made below….

 

While Y’all can Compare ‘N contrast these choices with last year’s No Fenders selections in the following link.

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/01/golden-tailpipe-awards-2023-streamliner_0868706982.html

 

CATEGORIES

1. Racer of Year

Winner: Jorge Martin

My Numero Uno MotoGP rider finally won the championship this year! Becoming the first Satellite rider in MotoGP to do so, riding a customer ducati for Pramac Racing in its final season as a Ducati customer outfit. As Pramac leaves Ducati after 23 years to become Yamaha’s new satellite squad next year.

 

I’ll admit that I’m not exactly sure how Martin won the title, hence relying on Raymond Hando’s stats. Stating thattheeMartinator’ had a total of 32 podiums slplit equally between Sprint races and Grands Prix. Winning three Grands Prix vs. Francesco Bagnaia’s Mega eleven wins. With Martin and Bagnaia both winning seven Sprint races.

 

Yet crucially, Bagnaia failed to score any points in three Grands Prix, along with having only ten Sprint race podiums. As obviously Bagnaia had less points at season’s end vs. Martin. As I really wanted the Spaniard to win! Especially since He’s off to Aprilia next year, having been “Aced” out of the second Factory Ducati seat, that both Jorge and Enea Bastianini lost to Marc Marquez…

 

Other Choices

Francesco Bagnaia, Lando Norris, Max Verstappen, Alex Palou, Scott McLaughlin…

 

2. Stories of Year

Winner: “Andretti Gate” and Team Penske’s P2P Shenanigans

Whilst Team Penske’s farcical Push-to-Pass (P2P) scandal was thee talking point at the beginning of this year’s IndyCar championship. With Josef Schlick’ Newgarden rightly being DQ’ed from His St Pete win. Along with ScottyMac’ (McLaughlin) losing His third place, due to both Penske drivers illegally using P2P. This scandal seemed to drag on ‘n on with the denial-denials from Team Penske and Newgarden just getting bigger and bigger. Before El Capitano’, nee Roger Penske placed Tim Cindric and company on Double Secret Probation for the Month of May’s Indianapolis 500, Chirp-chirp Bueller?

 

But the far bigger story for Mwah wasn’t All of Max Blunderhead’s (Verstappen) “Defensive Driving” antics or trading barbs with George Russell. Or FIA Presiden Muhammed Ben Sulayem telling the F1 drivers to mind their own business and quit swearing…

 

Nope, for Mwah if was Michael Andretti’s ouster from His own racing team Andretti Global! Supposedly taking “One for the Team”, KumbaYa…

 

All in the name of money and getting General Motors to commit to building Power Units for its Cadillac F1 team in 2028. Since I find it most ironic thatFerrari has agreed to provide PU’s to Andretti Formula Racing LLC for 2026-27. As Just Sayin’, what’s wrong with that picture, Eh?

 

3. Race of Year

Winner: Petit Le Mans

Even though I Only listened via IMSA Radio to just over half of this race. The ending was so dramatic with Renger van der Zande’s Disco Ball turn out the lights Cyclops one headlight pass for victory in the dark! As what’s that song about One Headlight Jacob Dylan?

 

Especially with it being Cheeps’ and Cadd-Oh-lacs’ final race; as nothing lasts for ever, with Me and Cinderella in the middle of this ‘Ol Caddy V-Series.R and Renger pushing buttons but the Headlight doesn’t work…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzyfcys1aLM

 

Other Choices

Sao Paolo Grand Prix, Indianapolis 500,; Uhm, “That’s All Folks”, insert race here…

 

4. Sportsperson of Year

Winner: Jamie Chadwick

Just so happened to listen to the Indy NXT Road America round and was rootin’ with two sets ‘O fingers crossed for Jamie to win Her debutante Indy NXT race! Which She did, holding off Andretti teammate and eventual title winner Louis Foster to boot!

 

As Jamie’s a great racer, whose only drawback has been lack of funding. As it would have been nice to see Her graduate to Indy Cars. So hopefully

, may be some day? While hoping Her European Le Mans Series season in LMP2 with IDEC Sport Racing goes well and leads to something bigger!

 

Honourable Mention

Abbi Pulling

How could I not mention the upstart Britain who the FIA made work twice as hard for Her eventual championship! As the 21yr old Brit’ thought She’d won the inaugural F1 Academy title once, before the FIA decided to reinstate the final round the week following at Yas Isle, or was it Qatar?

 

But No Problema! As Pulling just went out and claimed All three rounds Pole positions. Putting the title out of runner-up Dorian Pim’s reach, sealing Her title a second time in seven days! And will race for Rodin Motorsports in the British GB3 Championship in 2025.  

 

Other Choices

Katherine Legge, Erica Enders and Dorian Pim

 

5. Flatliner' of year

Winner: Austin Prock

Even though I no longer follow Drag racing casually. How could I not choose Austin Prock, Eh? As the 29yr old wasn’t even supposed to be racing this season, having lost His John Force Racing ride due to the ever crucial funding issues…

 

Yet with Robert Height suffering a nedical issue that kept Him from driving, enter Prock. Who reeled off eight wins enroute to His maiden NHRA Championship title in funny Cars!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/12/a-foreign-world-bubbles-to-surface.html

 

Honourable Mention

Greg Anderson

The wily veteran claimed His sixth Pro Stock Championship title in a winner take all finale! Winning His 106th Pro Stock race, which is crazy! As Anderson’s now tied for second overall with Warren Johnson and Erica Enders…

 

Other Choices

Antron Brown and Jack Beckman 

Golden Tailpipe Awards: The 2024 Streamliner edition, Positions 6-9

Otay Kiddoes', it's that time 'O year again. NO! Not when Ed McMahon comes ‘n visits Y’all with that Publishers Clearing House envelope…

 

But instead when Tomaso caps off another long, meandering year's storytelling from thoust Isle of Nofendersville with my Zany Year’s end Overall Winners selections. Where the Nights are long and the Days spent type-type-typing Away Way too Mucho on thoust Keyboard! Alas, Once again it’s another long form No Fenders Two part Harmony, Err meandering prose for your consideration

 

As Here goes Nothin', with another Bevy 'O totally Un-Scientific, Zany Random Off Ye Cuff selections made below…

 

CATEGORIES

Rider of The Year, Sports Car Drivers of The Year, Freak of The Year and Quip of The Year

 

6. Rider of Year

Winner: Enea Bastianiniex

Although the simple choice would be thee Martinator’, nee Jorge Martin. I’m going with “The Beast!” instead.

 

As Bastianini,  who was dropped by Ducati Corse in order to make way for the incoming Marc Marquez never gave up fighting! As I was rootin’ for Him to finish third overall ahead of ye Pinball Wizard…

 

Bastianini won two races this year, but couldn’t hold off Marquez in the season finale and had to settle for fourth overall. But fought tooth ‘n nails down to the final race! As I just really enjoyed His no holds barred mentality this season. Especially since who knows if He’ll be able to win a race for KTM?

 

Other Choices

Jorge Martin, Francesco Bagnaia and Marc Marquez

 

7. Sports Car Drivers of Year

Winner: Dane Cameron and Felipe Nasr

This is a bittersweet choice, since Dane Cameron got the boot after winning His fourth IMSA Championship! As I don’t know why Penske felt motivated to drop this perennial championship winner? While keeping teammate and co-driver Felipe Nasr who won His third IMSA Prototypes title.

 

Although Cameron has landed a full season ride piloting Spike-the-Dragon aboard AO Racing’s Oreca LMP2 purple ‘n orange Dragon…

 

Other Choices

Renger van der Zande, Nick Tandy, Ricky Taylor and I suppose Rodney Sandstorm, Eh?

 

8. Freak of Year

Winner: Max Verstappen

How can I not choose Max Blunderhead’ for this award, especially after being referred to as Dick dastardly!

 

As MaxiMillions’ has never been shy of using His racecar as a weapon! As I’m sure Maximus’  Hothead lost His temper at more than one race. But with 24 Grands Prix and probably only tuning into a third of them? Its hard remembering where All Max has been naughty!

 

Although I did totally enjoy His telling the FIA to Bugger Off! Over His using the “ Rated” F-word in a press conference, Bad, Bad, Max, Hya!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/09/f1-max-tells-fia-to-bugger-off.html

 

Not to mention calling George Russell two Faced and allegedly threatening to put the Englishman in the F$$KING Wall upon His Head!

 

As that’s just some of Max’s Freakish moments I can recall…

 

9. Quips of Year

Winners

“If my Mum had Balls, She’d be my Dad!”

That was the hilarious, sardonic leave me alone quip from Max Verstappen during the Miami Grand Prix post-race press conference. As the Media was hounding Max over whether or not the Safety Car had influenced the race? After peppering Him about His reported floor damage. After He’d kerb-hopped a chicane and wiped out the bollard! To which Verstappen claimed He hadn’t felt the car was any different. Before sarcastically saying He’d wanted to crash test the front wing by getting rid of the bollard…

 

Yet the Media wouldn’t relent with Max saying it’s always if, if, if? To which He brilliantly pointed out how His Mum could have been His Dad!

 

“Yapping little Terrier”

Der Crying wolff lands a Good One at Yas Isle! Where Mercedes GP Boss toto Wolff hilariously, and I’d say rightly pigeon-holed whom I’ve been calling the “Pied Piper” of F1 for years. Ergo Christian Horner, Boss of Red Bull Racing and Toto’s biggest adversary…

 

As the pair were sparring over their drivers Max and George Russell exchanging “pleasantries’ in the Steward’s office, Zoinks!

 

Honourable Mention

“Dick dastardly”

1996 F1 World champion Damon Hill calls out Max Verstappen and His ruthless, over-the-top aggressive driving antics during the Mexico City Grand Prix. Claiming that Max was driving like Dick Dastardly!

 

As that's a Wrap for the Year 2024 Kiddoe's, as it's been a really long year. Err, Uhm, Oh Yeah, Ah blast as always…

 

Arrivederci

Tomaso 

MOTO GP: The Season Finale’s Championship Showdown Commences at Barcelona

As Hopefully the race can bring some Joy to the devastated region of Spain…

 

With the horrible flooding in Spain, particularly in the Valencia region. And 211 people having been reported as Deceased as of November 2nd. While the number continues to increase. DORNA, the MotoGP rights holder cancelled the MotoGP season finale scheduled for November 17th at Valencia’s Ricardo Tormo circuit.

 

Thus, we waited over the penultimate MotoGP weekend’s outing in Malaysia a Fortnight ago to learn when and where the season’s final race would occur? Although reportedly DORNA made its ambitions known Sunday morning in Sepang, planning to race at Barcelona the same weekend.

 

Saturday’s Sprint race in Sepang seemed to live up once again to Moto Matters Zara Daniela’s apt assessment of anointing Jorge Martin as “The Sprint King”, but I’m getting ahead of myself as usual here upon No Fenders…

 

Back in October, roughly one month ago, MotoGP headed Down Under to Phillip Island, Australia Mates! Where Martin dually continued His dominance of winning on Saturday. Taking His fifth Sprint race of the season ahead of Marc Marquez and Enea Bastianini on the podium. With title rival Francesco Pecco’ Bagnaia finishing fourth.

 

As this pumped up Martin’s lead in the title fight to 16 “markers” ahead of Bagnaia. Then Sunday was vintage Marc Marquez. As Ye Pinball Wizard reportedly had a horrible launch due to His rear tyre spinning on an errant tear-off! Seeing the Spaniard drop to P13, before rebounding to fifth on lap-1!

 

Marquez ran down the two title protagonists who were running 1-2. Before Marquez claimed the lead towards race’s end. With Martin settling for second and Bagnaia some nine seconds adrift in third. Thus Martin increased His championship lead to 20 points with three rounds remaining.

 

Seven days later the MotoGP Circus arrived in Buriram, at the Chang International Circuit in Thailand. Where Saturday’s Sprint race result saw another twist…

 

“The Beast!” Aka Enea Bastianini took full advantage of the title rivals and the rider He’s scrapping for third place overall with, promptly vaulted into the lead. Which He would never relinquish, and simply motored away from the field!

 

Jorge Martin eventually got around Pecco’ Bagnaia for second, with Bagnaia’s future teammate Marc Marquez a quiet fourth. This allowed Martin to stretch His points lead to 22 markers.

 

Yet Sunday’s main race saw Bagnaia ultimately turn the tide against thee Martinator’. Although Martin got the Hole-shot on the wet track and aggressively attempted stretching His advantage in the tricky conditions.

 

As  Martin who made many mistakes overall, went wide and allowed both Bagnaia and Marquez to pass Him on lap-5. With Jorge just watching the two Ducati Axmen taking swings at each other for the lead, before Marquez slid wide and tumbled down to P16.

 

This saw Bagnaia hold a three second lead across the stripe ahead of Martin, clawing back five points and whittling Martin’s title lead to a slim 17 points.

 

Then it was on to steamy Sepang a week later, MotoGP’s penultimate round. Where once again the tables were turned upside down. As the rain began falling just prior to Saturday’s Sprint race commencing…

 

Although Bagnaia had snatched Pole away from Martin, with both riders setting new lap records. Martin got another Hole-shot over Pecco’ and effectively romped away to His sixth Sprint race win of the season.

 

Couple that with a crucial mistake by Bagnaia on lap-3 in Turn 9, reportedly a notoriously tricky corner according to the Pundits. Saw the Italian apparently touch the wet, white corner paint and inexplicably go down! For which I thought I heard a screaming “Captain Stubing”, Err lead Pundit Gavin Emmett proclaiming that the championship was over! For which I was left pondering how that could be true?

 

And after Emmett calmed down a Wee bit’, I noticed He and His Booth Mate Neil Hodgson were claiming that Martin now had one hand on the title…

 

Since Martin’s win netted Him twelve points, increasing His championship lead to 29 points, prior to Sunday’s main race.

 

Naturally Bagnaia didn’t roll over, and after a horrible first lap incident. Where Jack Thriller’ Miller was lucky to escape without harm to His legs after Joan Mir had run over them in the melee!

 

Bagnaia who’d kept Martin at bay on the first start, did even better on the restart, and led wire-to-wire for His tenth victory of the season. Although the first four laps were simply scintillating! As Martin did everything possible to pass Bagnaia! Making several lunges with the pair of Ducati riders running side-by-side down the front straight!

 

Yet Bagnaia wasn’t to be denied, and Martin wisely settled for runner-up aftert trying to push late in the race and almost making another costly mistake!

 

Thus, the points table sees Martin lead Bagnaia by 24 points (485-461) prior to the Saturday Sprint race at Barcelona. With a maximum of 37 points still on offer. And I won’t try figuring any of the points permutations. Other than Jorge Martin is the 2024 MotoGP Champion provided He has a 26 point lead on Sunday.

 

Whilst interestingly, fighting over third place in the championship is Marc Marquez vs. Enea Bastianini. With Marquez replacing the Italian at the Factory Ducati team next year.

 

As Marquez leads by one single point: 369-368! And you know The Beast relishes defeating Marquez before moving to KTM’s Satellite Squad… 

Why I Hate Professional Sports!

Hey Batter-Batter, watch the Birdee!

 

Hmm, why did that ‘Ol radio song Tell Me Why I Don’t like Monday’s come screaming upon my mental Jukebox, Eh?

 

Otay, so I’m completely, One Zillion percentage aware of how nebulous professional “Stick ‘n Ball” Sports reach is. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it!

 

Case-in-point. One of the few reasons I’ve still hung onto my outrageously overpriced Cable TV service. Wool looki’ Thar’, Y’all! They’ve just silently tacked another $7 monthly increase onto my bill, Jack Arses! Uhm have I mentioned their motto lately? Spectrum, We Care! Especially since my programming choices so vastly improved Cough-Cough, Oh Never Mind!

 

AnyHoo’ Silly me! Thinking I’d sit down to “watch”, Err listen to Saturday’s MotoGP Sprint race from Motegi on Tru TV, Steee-rike!

 

As I was totally insensed that instead of Tru TV’s usual El Stupidio programming, i.e.; Impractical Jokers or the World’s Dumbest. As talk about the worst programming on the entire Cable TV spectrum…

 

But No! Instead it was some Talking Hedz’ blathering on about baseball, before they ran what felt like 18mins ‘O Commercials, Stee-rike 2! They sent us straight, or was that a Fernando Valenzuela Screwball? Directly to Game 1 of the Cleveland Guardians vs. Detroit Tigers; You’re Out!

 

As once again motorsports pays the price for Stick ‘n Ball sports mania!

 

Making me wonder how IndyCar’s gonna fare upon FOX next year? Especially wondering what the over/under is when an IndyCar Qualifying or Practice session gets Bumped for something more “lucrative” on either of it’s FS1 or FS2 Seester’ channels? Just sayin’, Ole!

 

Then again, I suppose it was a good thin I missed Saturday’s Sprint race. Since I didn’t know thee Martinator’ had crashed during Qualie’ and was starting P11, Youch!

 

Although Jorge Martin did Damage limitation during both races, only losing eleven points to (Francesco) Pecco’ Bagnaia. Seeing His points lead shrink to a razor thin ten markers.

 

Whilst I missed All of the action Down Under on Phillip Island, Mates!