Hands Up! Good Things do come to Nice Guys

As watch for the Hands powering the No. 28 forwards in the Rose City…

 

Presumably this was timed? With the announcement of Marcus Ericsson’s one year extension at Andretti Global being announced afterwards.

 

And I realize that Marcus isn’t the only IndyCar driver doing good things behind the scenes for community and fans. But this story really makes me Happy! Being impressed with the Swede’s commitment to the children.

 

May be you’ve already read the Indianapolis Star’s story about the special Hands livery of Peyton Manning children’s Hospital patient ambassadors on the rear wing of His No. 28 Andretti global racecar this weekend?

 

As Marcus has been wearing specially adorned hats decorated by children at Peyton Manning children’s Hospital during the course of this year’s IndyCar season. And now Marcus and Andretti Global have taken it a step forward. Along with helping a very special girl named Chloe attend the race!

 

So how can you root against Ericsson this weekend, Eh?

 

Marcus Ericsson’s Portland run powered by painted Hands and a 7-year-old’s promise 

MOTO GP: The Show must go On

With riders Deaths and serious injuries just being part of the business…

 

Par of being a one band Blind Word Butcher, aka Basement dwelling Blogger is you can never keep up with the onslaught of racing news. Nor know how much is too Mucho content here upon No Fenders, Eh?

 

Thus being fully ensconced in the single day Qualie’ at Mother Speedway, and awaiting the canned, highlights MotoGP package upon Ye Intrawoods’. Naturally I was totally unaware of the devastating outcome for two of these ultimate Kneedraggers’, i.e.; Alex Marquez and Johann Zarco.

 

Thanks to Raymond Hando’s Musing from the Weekend post on For the Love of Indy Blog, this is where I first became aware there had been two serious crashes at Circuit Barcelona de Catalunya’s Grand Prix.

 

Listening to the highlights, it sounded like KTM’s Pedro Acosta suddenly slowed for no reason. And as His hand shot up to warn riders behind Him, Alex Marquez who was in His slipstream had absolutely nowhere to go! Seeing Marquez presumably “High-side” with His bike’s carbon fibre bits exploding,! Cart-wheeling from striking Acosta’s rear tyre, reportedly at some 250kp/h! Wit the hapless rider tumbling in lock-step with His stricken Ducati thru the gravel trap!

 

Acosta’s Scooter’ had slowed suddenly due to an unexpected electrical problem. While Yamaha’s Fabio Quartararo said He had “Goosebumps” riding past the accident scene!

 

Then upon the race’s restart; having been red flagged for Marquez’s savage accident. Pro Honda LCR’s Johann Zarco fell, causing the unexpecting duo of Luca Marini and Francesco Bagnaia to be caught up in Zarco’s accident. With one of Zarco’s leg’s becoming tangled between Bagnaia’s rear wheel and motorcycle!

 

Naturally I was stunned reading Monday morning, following the Catalan Grand Prix that Alex Marquez had suffered a broken neck and shoulder in this incident! Whilst Zarco tore ligaments and had a fibula tear in the ankle region. But acknowledged He hadn’t broken His femur…

 

As I hesitate to even remotely speculate upon Marquez’s injury, while Zarco got off with less serious damages to an extent, albeit will surely also be out of action for awhile.

 

Marquez underwent successful shoulder surgery to repair His fractured right collarbone. With no surgery performed upon His C7 vertebrae.

 

“Not Necessary”: Champion rides say MotoGP should have been Axed 

Kyle Busch Dies Suddenly

Rowdy Holmes takes His last bow…

 

Naturally, like everyone, I was shocked when hearing the news whilst listening to the Indianapolis Star’s Sports section late last night via my NFB Newsline for The Blind’s telephone service.

 

Actually had to go back and restart article twice, to make sure I was hearing that Kyle Busch had died suddenly. Having gone to hospital Thursday morning with a serious illness. Before dying at age 41 and leaving behind His wife Samanta, and their two children Brexton and Lennix.

 

Cannot say I was a fan of His, but did recognize His talent, since at one point of His NASCAR career, He was a force to be reckoned with! Doing the unthinkable by routinely ding the “Double”, i.e.; winning what’s now known as O’Riley’s Auto Parts series and NASCAR cup. Along with being the only driver to sweep a NASCAR weekend, i.e.; Trucks, Grand National and Cup! Which Kyle did twice; both at Bristol in 2010 and 2017.

 

The greatest Cup wins of Kyle Busch’s storied NASCAR career

As I know there was a Kyle Busch Motorsports team for many years, which He dominated Trucks in. And His overall accomplishments as a driver are quite impressive.

 

Having won the 2009 Nationwide series and 2015 and 2019 Cup championships. Along with having the most all-time career wins for the combined three series, i.e.; Trucks, Grand National and Cup with an eyewatering 234! Not to mention the most O’riley’s Auto Parts win with 102 and Craftsman Trucks with 69, Damn!

 

His 63 Cup wins currently ranks Him ninth overall for career wins, with the only major race missing from His resume being the Daytona 500. Making it ironic that He won this year’s pole for that race…

 

While I believe He raced once in the 24 Hours of Daytona? But what I remember most about Kyle, is racing that No. 18 M&M’s car for Joe Gibbs Racing…

 

Denny Hamlin, Brad Keselowski speak out after Kyle Busch’s sudden Death 

Earnhardt’s Lucky Penny

When pennies were still minted…

 

Today being some Holiday, where many kiss thee Blarney stone, what better way to celebrate, Eh?

 

This is about a lengthy, but great story I listened to via my NFB Newsline for The Blind telephone’s service’s ESPN Online Motorsports Headlines news section. With the “byline” saying written by Sam Borden, senior ESPN writer.

 

The story revolves around Wessa Miller, who suffers from Spinal Bifida, and fantastically has beaten the odds. By now being 34 years old, and still living!

 

You can already guess who Wessa’s favourite driver was. And at age six, She and a handful of other Make-A-Wish recipient’s were in a room waiting to meet the Intimidator, aka ‘Ol Ironhead, ergo Dale Earnhardt Sr. at Daytona International Speedway.

 

The year was 1998 and the “Man in Black” was having another awful year at Daytona. The one race He truly desired to win, frantically dealing with engine woes the day before the race!

 

Since in 20 years of trying, many nightmares had occurred. Including cutting a tyre on the last lap in 1990 and hitting a Seagull the following year!

 

As Earnhardt bent down to greet Wessa, the last child in the room. She handed Him a penny She was clutching in Her hand, with Dale saying what’s this? With the six year old girl saying it’s a lucky penny for you…

 

As I just love the image of Dale racing back to the shop, demanding some glue. Smearing glue all over Himself as the penny wouldn’t stick. Before ultimately being glued to the dashboard of His Richard Childress Racing No. 3 GM goodwrench/Bass Pro shops Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS.

 

Yep, some of you will already know that’s the year Earnhardt finally won his coveted Daytona 500…

 

As I highly recommend reading the article, as it’s a wonderful story! And I enjoyed reading about the Intimidator’s charity towards the Miller’s, behind the scenes. Along with everyone else’s generosity over the years…

 

How a Girl’s lucky penny fueled Earnhardt’s Daytona 500 win 

Think You’re Having A Bad Day?

As perhaps I should have chosen U2’s Sunday, Bloody Sunday instead?

 

Naturally, Y’all can figure out why that ‘Ol “Tell Me why I Don’t like Mondays” song I Don’t like Mondays by the Boomtown Rats springs to mind here, Righto?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yteMugRAc0

 

As I realize it’s what He gets paid millions of dollars, Euros whatever to do for a living, but you’ve still got to feel for thee Martinator’s Nightmarish year! And how much things would be going differently if not romping on that cold Michelin tyre at Sepang during pre-season testing Wayback’ in February…

 

Thus we know that Jorge Martin crashed heavily and broke His hand and fractured a foot during that test outing. Requiring surgery to His right hand to place a screw in a metacarpal. While His left foot was left to heel on it’s own.

 

Then on the Monday preceding the season opener Thailand MotoGP race, Martin injured Himself again in a training accident. Suffering multiple fractures to His left hand, including the thumb carpal! Needing further surgery to repair His broken wrist…

 

Martin ultimately missed the first three rounds at Thailand, Argentina and Circuit Of the Americas, (COTA) before making His Aprilia debut at Qatar.

 

Now I could play Monday morning Quarterback here, but that seems pointless. As All racing drivers and riders seemingly live under the mantra of you’re only as good as your last race. And you don’t want to be out of circulation too long, less being forgotten or replaced…

 

Yet with the amount of physical pain Jorge was enduring at Qatar, it now seems obvious He rushed His return to racing, before disaster struck once again the Hapless, reigning MotoGP World champion.

 

Arse-suming Y’all know that Martin lost control of His motorcycle during Sunday’s Grand Prix, with Fabio di Giannantonio directly behind Him. With the Italian rider having nowhere to go and striking the fallen Martin in the back on-track with His front wheel!

 

Jorge ultimately suffered eleven broken ribs and a collapsed lung! Staying in Hospital for several days with a chest tube to drain fluids from His lung cavity before being released. But having to wait for His lung to sufficiently heal, i.e.; one to three weeks before being cleared to fly home, due to the altitude’s pressure difference. Before further treatment, rest and recovery, all under the supervision of His phalanx of medical professionals, i.e. Doctors and Physio’ commencess…

 

Martin will obviously miss several more races, with scuttlebutt suggesting the Spaniard will be out of action a further three months, with test rider Lorenzo Savadori further deputizing at Jerez, and presumably afterwards.

 

Yeah, now I know Why I don’t like Mondays… 

The Perks of being A Blind Traveler

An upright, mobile Tomaso poses with a brace ‘O Prancing Horses. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

What do you mean, I can’t take my Easter Basket thru Security?

 

Yeah, as I’m surrounded to the tranquil sounds of a chainsaw, Timber! Hopefully just “pruning” the bushes? As I prefer my shade trees, Numbskulls! And in lieu of hunting for chocolate Bunnies, Marshmallow Peeps, Jellybeans, etc. I thought I’d serenade Y’all with this Easter tale of woe. Or should that be Lake woebegone?

 

This March I went to Arizona, being the first time I’ve flown on a Big ‘Ol Jetliner post Open Heart surgery, for which I was somewhat apprehensive over going thru security now with “metal” in my body. As not only do I have a mechanical heart valve, to which I have zero clue over it’s materials composition, but supposedly also carry stainless steel “bailing” wire around my sternum that was cut in half…

 

SO I asked the friendly Check-in Agent, who breezily said to tell TSA when I got to security. Then I awaited my “Chariot”, Err wheelchair to take me to my Gate. Since I’ve long since given up “fighting” over going by wheelchair thru crowded airports, which really is the easiest way for all involved.

 

Thus, a very no-nonsense, curt, All business woman briskly pushed me to my Gate, first going thru security. As I repeated my inquiry about my heart valve when handing my ticket and ID to the first security worker, who once again just said tell TSA.

 

Now in years past, after I’ve removed my shoes, put them, my folding white cane, backpack, etc. into the bins for screening, I’ve always been allowed to walk thru the X-Ray machine with the assistance of a TSA worker guiding me thru by taking my hand. Yet little did I know this wouldn’t be an option on this trip! For which I wasn’t even asked about, or given the option. Which I must say I found disconcerting…

 

But first I had to deal with the woman assisting me, who was very gruff and apparently didn’t understand what being Blind means? Curtly telling me to put my boots in the bin, on the table. Uhm, Hello? Do you realize I’m Freakin’ blind and cannot see the table or bin sister! As the “fun” was only beginning!

 

Little did I know that I’d be receiving a full body pat-down. With the TSA security worker explaining how He would be running the back of His hand in a horizontal and vertical motion over my groin and buttocks, Swell! After telling me to raise my arms up and hold them like somebody on a cross. Hey, after all the Easter Bunny does make Her yearly appearance today, Righto?

 

Telling me I could remain seated in the wheelchair, but to hold my arms up as He ran His hands over them, before patting down both the front and back of my torso, beginning with my backside…

 

Before  He got to my buttocks, He inserted His fingers inside my jeans waistband. Yo Dude, you’re getting a Wee bitamyte’ Frisky! Before asking me to slide to the right and left of the chair, and raise my buttocks into the air for Him. As I lifted one butt cheek at a time, before it was time for my frontal lobotomy, Err probe of my groin, Ooh la lah! Before He thoroughly patted down my legs to my ankles on both sides, with All of this “screening” occurring in full public view, since I’d declined the “privacy” screening…

 

And as I sat there being frisked, I suddenly realized that I’d brought my metal Hiking water bottle fully filled. Musing to myself kiss that goodbye! Before a female security agent pleasantly asked if I’d like Her to empty it for me? Yes, that would be wonderful, after She’d inquired if I had water inside it? Not only putting it back into the plastic bag I had it in, to prevent having a wet backpack. But also put the twisty “zip-tie” back on it…

 

Then my friendly wheelchair attendant, HaHa! Told me to put on my boot, which you guessed it, were on the table, Sigh! And then just pushed me to my Gate, said it’s right in front of you and simply walked off without saying a word.

 

Parked at my Gate a half hour before boarding, suddenly Southwest Airlines made a Gate change announcement for my flight, as my waiting area simply became a Ghost town with me being the only person left there in my forlorn wheelchair, WTF? Wondering if somebody was going to “collect” me? But nothing happened…

 

As I started to get a little bit concerned after they’d made the second Gate change announcement for my flight and I still sat alone. Hearing what sounded like an Airport worker nearby, I unfolded my cane and prudently called out to this lone man in the concourse. Hearing His walkie talkie squawking “Airport-speak”, asking if He worked here? Who then summoned somebody to come get me, take me to the new Gate, which thankfully I made my flight!

 

Ah Contrair, the fun’s just beginning, as that was only round one of going thru security.

 

And it’s funny, Haha? How each airport does their security screening. Since in Phoenix I didn’t bother to remove my portable CD player from my backpack. Hey, everybody still uses those, Righto? But Gee Wally! My backpack made it fine thru the x-ray machine without removing it, which I’d done in Seattle…

 

Yep, you guessed it. Once again, I got to be up close ‘n personal with a TSA security agent for another wheelchair pat-down. Although I had zero clue that this would be an enhanced full body pat-down! Being the youngest of the three wheelchair bound travelers; with a woman who was 81 and a man 72, I just sat there parked alone for several minutes.

 

Then two agents approached me and asked if I had anything to declare? Telling them about my heart valve and bailing wire, they asked if I was able to stand for 4-7mins?

 

Standing upright, once again I got to spread my arms like being on a cross. Before the one man said I could put them down after He’d seen my one hand shaking apparently? After they’d been thoroughly patted down.

 

Now, not only did I get to have my buttocks and groin patted down with the backs of His palms. But this time they had me give myself a “wedgie!” Asking me to pull my jeans waistband up as high as it would go and then hold it there!

 

Yet first I needed to remove the empty plastic produce bag I’d forgotten was in my rear pants pocket. With the agent asking if I could remove it for Him please. Which He handed back to me later…

 

As I hiked up my jeans, holding them by the empty belt loop on each side, once again a hand slipped inside my waistband front and back. And then He asked me if I could spread my legs? A little further, please…

 

As the second man then instructed the one patting me down, where to  thoroughly frisk me. Making me guess He must have been in training? He lightly “caressed” the insides of my groin down to my ankles before I could put my legs back together. Then said I could get back into the wheelchair, before my much friendlier male wheelchair attendant collected me.

 

Putting on my boots, the other male wheelchair bound member of our trio, who’d apparently watched these proceedings  bemusedly proclaimed to Mwah afterwards: My Gawd, I didn’t know I was traveling with Osama Bin laden!

 

Having watched the TSA agent search every inch of my body from neck to toes front and back thoroughly!

 

And that’s just a “small” flavour of some of my Blind travel Hijinx

 

As just don’t Call me Shirley! Roger-Roger. Guess I picked a Bad day to Quit sniffing Glue, Hya!

F1: Sainz Fined for last minute Bathroom run in Japan

As What can Brown do for You?

 

In another sign of just how out-of-touch Formula 1 is, I’m certain you’ve heard about Williams Racing Carlos Sainz Jr. Bathroom Fine of EU $10,000; approx. $11,340 USD for being a skosh’ late to the Japanese national anthem at Suzuka.

 

Even though an accredited Doctor confirmed that Sainz had had a stomach issue and He’d given the Spaniard medicine to rectify it, the FIA Fined Sainz anyways. Apparently expecting the driver to have an accident in His Firesuit instead!

 

As Sainz freely admitted He was five seconds late to the start of the national anthem, for which I’d say that Carlos wasn’t showing any disrespect to Japan at all. Just trying to deal with an honest medical issue beforehand.

 

Sainz, who was rightly peeved over the ridiculous fine mentioned in the Thursday press conference in Bahrain Shit Happens! Saying He hoped He wouldn’t be fined for saying such an offensive word…

 

As all I can say is “What Can Brown do For You?”

 

Seriously, the FIA is going out of its way with Draconion penalties for swearing or going to the bathroom before a race?

 

As I’m really trying very hard to not scribble about a driver being humiliated by having to stand for the national anthem with soiled shorts! Err FIA approved fireproof Nomex boxers, Oh Never Mind!

 

As this is ridiculous! And when will the FIA start treating the drivers like the Adults they are? And not fining them for going to the Potty’ or saying that provocative word S-H-I-T! 

MotoGP’s 2025 Season gets off to Rough Start

Even though The Boyz’ are Back on the Championship Trail now…

 

Yeah, it’s old news over the spate ‘O crashes during the Sepang Pre-season test prior to going racing at Thailand on March 2nd. As MotoGP seems to be the hardest of the major racing categories for me to follow, other than “Watching”, Err listening via TruTV, even if my Gory Freakin’ Cable TV bill just increased again, seriously Spectrum? Right, I keep forgetting Spectrum’s motto, We Care, chuh-Ching!

 

Thus we know that thee Martinator’, nee Jorge Martin crashed heavily and broke His hand and fractured a foot during testing, reportedly also shattering His helmet’s visor upon landing violently! Requiring surgery to His right hand to place a screw in a metacarpal. While supposedly His left foot wasn’t operated on.

 

As I’d have to say that Moto Matter’s David Emmett gave the most “clear” observation of what really happened at Sepang during Martin’s “High-side” crash on Day-1 of testing. Noting how Aprilia Boss Massimo Rivola’s “Job” is to shield His star rider from media  criticism. Blaming Michelin for Jorge’s crash, while the tyre supplier’s infra-red tyre casing sensor noted Martin’s inside tyre temperature being lower than prescribed.

 

Thus I’d agree that Martin simply pushed to hard too soon on a “cold” Michelin tyre and paid the price for His normal aggressiveness just an hour into testing…

 

Meanwhile Aprilia satellite Trackhouse Racing rider Raul Fernandez also crashed at Sepang on Day-1, breaking a meta carpel in His hand a la Martin; with no word if both Aprilia crashes were tyre related?

 

Whilst sadly, one of my many favourite MotoGP riders, Fabio di Giannantonio broke His collarbone at Sepang when doing a “Wheelie” that went wrong, Butterfingers!

 

All three riders underwent immediate surgery in Europe. With both Martin and di Giannantonio skipping the final Pre-season test on February 10-12 at the Chang International Circuit in order to be fit for the season opener. While Trackhouse confirmed that Fernandez would attempt to take part in the final test at Buriran, in order to get more valuable “Saddle”, Err Seat-time.

 

Whilst I’ve no idea how long di Giannantonio’s injury recovery time will be? Although Arse-sume He’ll be racing with a titanium plate or hardware attached to His damaged collarbone in order to resume racing…

 

Then on the Monday preceding the season opener Thailand MotoGP race, Martin injured Himself again in a training accident. This time suffering multiple fractures to His left hand, including the thumb carpal!

 

Thus Jorge needed further surgery to repair His broken wrist. And was set to miss at least the Thailand race with test rider Lorenzo Savadori replacing Him. Although I don’t see how Martin will be suitably recovered for the Argentina round a Fortnight later.

 

Having been away on Holiday once again, Groan! During both the Thai and Argentine Grands Prix, obviously I don’t know the current health status of these three riders, albeit Martin seems the most doubtful to have raced yet?

 

Whilst naturally, I Arse-sume that di Giannantonio and Fernandez have been competing, and that Ducati as typical has won the first two rounds at Thailand and Argentina. Presumably an intra-team scrum between Francesco “Pecco” Bagnaia and Marc Marquez. For which are Emmett’s choice for who’ll win this year’s MotoGP title. As talk about going out on a limb with that prediction…

 

And will this weekend’s U.S. Grand Prix at Circuit Of The Americas (COTA) see Ye Pinball Wizard’, nee Marc Marquez return to His throne as King of COTA, now that He’s once again on a fully competitive Scooter’, having crushed the competition so far!

 

Whilst in my absence, Jorge Martin divulged the Thursday prior to the Argentine GP that His recovery was taking longer then expected. And that not only would He not compete in Argentina, but would also definitely miss the COTA round. Along with prossibly the following Qatar Grand Prix. Which I’m guessing He’ll miss. Meaning theMartinator’ will presumably miss at least the first four rounds of this year’s MotoGP Championship, scuttling His title defense… 

When does Age become More than just a Number?

And should we Glorify these Ageless Warriors…

 

This riveting No Fenders “thread” first crystalized in my Noggin’ when reading about Lindsey Vonn returning to competition at age 40, earlier this year. Before Mike Wallace had His NASCAR Dance Card rescinded.

 

Then it really started picking up steam upon Will Power saying He thinks He can continue racing in Indy Cars for another five years, upon hiring His first ever agent. With A14 Management led by some smarmy Spaniard named Frederico Suave, aka Fred Alonso who’s nearly five months His Junior!

 

As it should come as no surprise that Will Power is the elder statesman of Team Penske’s twelve main racing series drivers, i.e.; IndyCar, Sports Cars and NASCAR.

 

As William Steven Power turns a robust 44yrs old on March 1st, and presumably will be hoping for either pole position on His actual birthday, or winning St Pete as a birthday present the following day! Whilst Power’s two Team Penske IndyCar drivers XcottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin is the youngest at age 31, just a stitch six months younger than Ryan Blaney. Wit Josef Schlick’ Newgarden being 34 years old.

 

Penske’s six Sports Car Hotschues’ vary in age from 29 to 40. As Nick Tandy’s only four years younger than Power, at age 40. With Kevin Estr, (36) Laurens Vanthoor, (33) Felipe Nasr, (32) Mathieu Jaminet (30) and Matt Campbell, (29) following in descending order.

 

Of Team Penske’s trio of Roundy Round drivers, ergo NASCAR. Austin Cindric (#2) is the youngest at age 26. Followed by 2023 Cup Champion Ryan Blaney, (#12) age 31. With reigning Cup Champion Joey “sliced Bread” Logano (#22) being 34 years old.

 

And for every Ageless Warrior, there’s always a flip-side example. As now I’m even more cornfuzed’ over why perennial Sports Car Champion Dane Cameron at age 36 got the Boot from Penske, when Estr’s the same age and Tandy’s four years older, Huh?

 

While Sports Car’s “Pro Am” (Amateur) Ben Keating and George Kurtz are 53 and 54 respectively. But they’re both “Gentlemen” drivers, i.e.; wealthy businessmen who like to go racing and play in the big Leagues, albeit in the second tier LMP2 category, primarily…

 

Meanwhile, perhaps you’ve heard that Mike Wallace was denied His application to attempt racing in this year’s Day-Toner’ 500 at age 65. Which I feel was prudent, since the middle of the three Wallace racing brothers hadn’t raced on a Super Speedway in ten years.

 

Yet on the flip-side, the Daytona Beach News Journal reminded me that ‘Ol Blue Eyes’, aka Paul Newman had won the Rolex 24 at age 70! Competing in a nasty Roush Racing Mustang in the GTS class with Mark Martin, Tommy Kendall and Mike Brockman. With Newman racing into His 80’s, Yureka!

 

Having scribbled another, typical long form four parts No Fenders tome about ‘Ol Blue Eyes’, sheez, a few years ago now. With Newman’s racing exploits chronicled below in:

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2022/07/diving-into-paul-newmans-racing-career.html

 

With my Cliff Notes tome about Paul Newman’s A Life book review are located here:

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2022/07/paul-newmans-life-book-review.html

 

Whilst I don’t know if it’ll make DJ WillyP’ )Will Power) feel old? Since I can still recall getting His and His two Penske teammates Juan Pablo Montoya and Helio Castroneves John Hancock’s at Sonoma nearly eleven Gory years ago! But as everyone knows, Hulio’, who’ll turn 50 on May 10th just contested His maiden Day-toner’ 500. While Montoya had a totally disappointing “One-off” Roundy round RASSCAR’ outing for 23/Xi Racing at Watkins Glen last year at age 49.

 

Ro-Ro’, I feel another No Fenders yarn being spun about this remarkable Team Penske trio’s accomplishments…

 

And just to put things into quick perspective. Jacob Abel, Christian Lundgaard, David Malukas and Sting Ray robb were All born the year that our current elder statesman of IndyCar, Scotty “Iceman 2.0” Dixon who turns 45 in July, was born, Yikes!

 

With Kyffin Simpson being the youngest IndyCar driver who can’t drink any “bubbly” on the podium until this October, currently being only  20yrs old. As I could go on ‘n on…

 

But like I said, it was none other than decorated Downhill Skier Lindsey Vonn who got this whole story started, and currently captivates me. As I’d have to Arse-sume the whole notion is for Vonn to compete in a remarkable fifth Winter Olympics next year in Italy, which she has since stated.

 

As the St Paul, Minnesota native says Her comeback is partially fueled by the likes of Tom Brady, Lewis Hamilton and Serina Williams All competing professionally in their forty’s. As seven-times Formula 1 World Champion Sir Lewis turned the Big 4-OH’ on January 7th, and is set to embark upon His debutante season driving for la Scuderia, ergo Ferrari.

 

Vonn at age 40, made Her comeback at St Moritz, with a credible 14th place finish after having last competed some six years earlier. Gaining everybody’s Attenzione at St Anton with finishes of sixth and fourth, Momma Mia!

 

Then I suppose you could say reality struck? Since Lindsey owns the record for twelve wins at Cortina d’Ampezzo in Italy. Yet She only managed finishes of 20th and then crashed out, while tracking fifth in the Super G event, I believe.

 

Although Vonn was uninjured, and said She was  actually glad, since it tempers expectations that were starting to get out of hand. And She’s still rusty and needs more competition before next year’s Olympics.

 

Vonn, who retired at age 34 after Her right knee was simply “gone”, said all She’s thought about the past eleven years is the knee. And had resigned Herself to living life with a painful knee, before having reconstructive knee surgery last year. When Her troublesome right knee was repaired with titanium, which Lindsey said just days after the surgery, She was pain free!

 

Thus, as long as it doesn’t take away a younger skier’s ability to compete at Cortina d’Ampezzo in Milan, 2026. And Vonn’s inclusion on the US. Olympics Women’s Ski team is merit based, then I’m All for Her remarkable comeback to succeed! As Vaughan is the oldest female to win a winter Olympics skiing medal at 33 in 2018 at PyeongChang, South Korea. While no female has won a major skiing event over age 34.

 

And as much as Lindsey decorated career of 82 wins, 137 podiums and three Olympic medals shines. She’ll be hard pressed to compete vs. Mikaela Schiffron, who turns 30 on March 13th. Whose the current record holder with a staggering 99 victories, 154 podiums and three Olympic medals to date. With two Gold medals vs. Lindsey having just one.

 

Although I must say that Vonn’s comeback and attempt to Cap’ Her career at Cortina d’Ampezzo makes me think of Bode Miller and His unquenchable thirst for competing, who contested five Winter Olympics before finally retiring in 2017.

 

Meaning we should enjoy watching the likes of Lindsey, Serena, Lewis, Power, Dixon, etc. continuing to defy the odds of “Father time” anxiously waiting to say, “Bring Me your Torch!” 

The 2024 Formula 1 Golden Tailpipe Awards edition

The long, forgotten Caterham CT01. (Image source: Bing.com)

 

As Who’s got the Biggest Balls of All, Max?

 

With Formula 1 actually becoming interesting once again, after the white washing Max Verstappen and Red bull put upon the opposition in 2023. As we’ll never see another season like that! I simply had nothing to say about the Max Verstappen Show.

 

Yet Max Blunderhead’ had to work quite hard this year to secure His fourth F1 World Championship. Not to mention having an amazing seven drivers winning Grands Prix this season, along with McLaren winning the vaunted Constructors title!

 

As Y’all can compare ‘n contrast these Spur of Ye Cuff, Nonsensical selections vs. two years ago in the link below…

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2022/12/the-2022-formula-1-golden-tailpipe_0250107140.html

 

WINNERS

2024 F1 World Champion: Max Verstappen

2024 Constructors Champion: McLaren

2024 Monaco Grand Prix: Charles Leclerc

 

CATEGORIES

1. Driver of The Year

Winner: Carlos Sainz Jr.

Yeah, the obvious choice would be Max Verstappen, Righto? But for Mwah, anybody who comes back one race after emergency Appendicitis surgery and wins Down Under in Bloody Melbourne Mates! Is a Shoo-in! Especially if I’m a Fan of His…

 

Yes, others including His Ferrari teammate had more wins. But Charles Leclerc also threw a Hissy-fit over the radio when He didn’t get His way and Carlos finished ahead of Him. Suck it up Chuck!

 

Not to mention having to race the entire season knowing that He was being dropped in favour of Lewis Hamilton. As it would have been easy to just trundle along, but Sainz competed mightily the entire season. Ultimately scoring two Grands Prix victories. The latter being a storming drive from pole at Mexico City!

 

As it’ll be interesting to see how Carlos performs at the underwhelming Williams this season…

 

Other Choices

Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, et Al

 

2. Biggest Disappointments of The Year

Without a doubt, the biggest disappointment is Mikey A’ being told He needs to retire, Box-Box-Box on the penultimate lap of Andretti, Err Cadillac Racing finally being granted the 11th F1 Garage on Pitlane for 2026! As I don’t know how to scribble ‘bout Michael Andretti’s ouster any better…

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/10/whats-really-going-on-at-andretti-global.html

 

While the return of HMS Monogram, as Grizzled F1 Journo’ Joe Saward called Him. Flavio Briatore’s return to Formula 1 is definitely disappointing! Being the mastermind behind le reggie’s Crash Gate!

 

Not to mention it being a sad day for French motorsports with Alpine’s decision to abandon its own PU’s, ergo Power Units in favour of customer Mercedes units!

 

And its also disappointing if Max really did threaten to put George Russell on His F-KING’ Head…

 

3. Race of The Year

Winner: Sao Paolo Grand Prix

This seemed like a no brainer to me. Especially with Max Verstappen’s amazingly sublime drive in the wet! As Max’s marching from P17 to the lead was simply breathtaking, especially since He passed car after car cleanly in the rain!

 

As both eventual runner-up Esteban Ocon and Oscar Piastri simply marveled over Max’s exquisite car control. Which I scribbled about in the following No Fender tome…

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/11/f1-which-max-will-show-up-under-strips.html

 

Whilst I’m guessing some will wonder about my other choices below, particularly the latter. Since even though Lando Norris checked out, it did feature two more superb from back of grid to the podium performances by Charles Leclerc and Lewis Hamilton…

 

Other Choices

British, Miami, Hungarian and Abu Dhabi Grands Prix

 

4. Most Improved Team of the Year

Winner: MoneyGram Haas F1 Team

Initially, it was a shock regarding Herr Guenther’s, nee Guenter Steiner’s dismissal as team principal for the unknown Ayao Kanotsu. Yet Konatsu being an engineer apparently has a steady hand. And doesn’t seek the spotlight like Steiner did…

 

As the team more than quadrupled its overall points tally this season. As I believe they were even as high as sixth in the vaunted F1 Constructors chase before finishing seventh, three positions better than 2023.

 

Along with finishing one place behind Alpine. Which Alpine jumped to solely upon the excellent 2-3 finish at Interlagos…

 

5. Most Disappointing Team of the Year

Winner: Stake F1 Team Kick Sauber

This was a toss-up between Williams and Sauber for Mwah. As I’d hoped for better from both of these long established F1 Constructors. Although Williams wasn’t alone in the spare chassis saga, the British team was definitely in the worst scenario! Which wasn’t aided at all by the multitude ‘O crashes its three drivers had during the long season.

 

As I understand that somebody’s gotta be last, butSauber only scored an embarrassing total of four points! As I don’t think the drivers were trying any less, or that the team wasn’t working hard. But I’m just left wondering if there was a lack of development or money spent in a lame Duck season before Audi took final, outright control of Sauber? 

The 2024 Formula 1 Golden Tailpipe Awards edition, Positions 6-10

And Max takes it by a Nose. Somebody give me a Cheeseburger!

 

Time for another mesmerizing No Fenders zany Awards story. Especially since I haven’t done one of these in some 24 months. But with All of the Sir Lewis mania sweeping Italy right now…

 

CATEGORIES 6-10

6. Most Impressive Driver of The Year

Winner: Nico Hulkenberg

Suppose what stands out to me about thee Incredible Hulk’, nee Nico Hulkenberg was His ability to wring the neck out of His Haas VF-24 consistently, and always sniffing round the top ten during qualifying and race finishes.

 

As Nico finished a very respectable 11th in the Drivers standings, scoring 41 of Haas’s tally of 58 points!

 

Hulkenberg had either nine or ten Top 10 finishes, since I cannot tell if He retired or finished seventh in one round? With a best being a pair of sixth place finishes in the Austrian and British Grands Prix.

 

7. Most Improved Driver of the Year

Winner: Yuki Tsunoda

The Japanese driver scored the bulk of Racing Bulls 46 points. Claiming 30 points enroute to 12th in the overall standings with Tsnoda’s best being a treble of seventh place finishes. And while Yuki easily outperformed RB teammate Daniel Ricciardo. Ultimately He didn’t do enough to keep Liam Lawson from claiming the coveted, second Red Bull Racing Hot-seat alongside F1 World Champion Max Verstappen.

 

8. Most Disappointing Driver of the Year

Winner: Sergio Perez

What can I scribble about either of these drivers, that hasn’t already been said? As I gave the nod to Checo’ simply due to His being in superior machinery, even if the Red Bull RB20 was a diabolical handful to drive this season.

 

As it was just plain outright sad to see Sergio struggling so mightily! With numerous, self inflicted crashes and spins hastening His exidous from Formula 1…

 

Runner-up: Daniel Ricciardo

Conversly, the same argument cood be made for DannyRic’, aka Daniel ricciardo’s demise from Formula 1. As the affable Aussie’ was trying to do enough to promote Himself into Perez’s seat for 2025. Yet like checo’, Ricciardo also struggled Ah-Mighty’ at the team F1 Sherpa Claudio coined as the little bulls, aka Racing Bulls or RB. Since I detest that Visa Cash App nomenclature!

 

Yet DannyRic’ simply failed to live up to His promise. Being dropped in somewhat bizarre circumstances. After setting the Fastest lap at Singapore, before simply being replaced by young turk’ Liam Lawson. Whom ironically gave the man He ultimately replaces the No. 1 salute during Checo’s Home race!

 

9. Personality of Year

Winner: Max Verstappen

As the now Four-times consecutive F1 World Champion garnered another new nickname from Mwah this season. Calling Him Max Blunderhead’, in regards to His fiendish Dick Dastardly driving antics at Mexico City! To the sublime drive in the rain at Sao Paolo. Whilst Maximum Hothead’s never at a loss for words!

 

From threatening to put Bosom Buddy George Russell on His F-KING’, careful Max! Yuhs know how swearing’s not allowed by the FIA, Tisk-Tisk!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/09/f1-max-tells-fia-to-bugger-off.html

 

To the brilliant one-liner about if His Mum had Balls She’d be His Dad…

 

10. Rookie of The Year

Winner: Oliver Bearman

Yeah, I know most would say it should be Williams Franco Colapinto, since the Argentinian driver was also sensational. Yet for Mwah, Oliver Bearman’s performance at Jeddah electrified me! Especially with the then 18yr old’s sudden, unexpected call-up to deputize for Carlos Sainz in the Saudia Arabian Grand Prix.

 

As Sainz needed to have an emergency Appendectomy, with Bearman replacing Him just hours before qualifying. With the British rookie qualifying P11 and finishing a fine seventh place, which was All I cared about during the race! With Bearman becoming Ferrari’s youngest ever driver.

 

Bearman than substituted for Kevin Magnussen at Haas a further two races. The first being at Azerbaijan, after the Dane’ had to serve a one race ban. With Bearman finishing tenth, becoming the first driver in Formula 1 history to score points for two different teams in back-to-back races…

 

Oliver raced again for a sick Magnussen at Sao Paolo, but struggled in the wet conditions. Including ironically, netting a ten second penalty for a collision with Colapinto. Ultimately finishing P12.

 

As Bearman will now make His full season debut for Haas, while Colapinto’s currently Alpine’s test and reserve driver… 

Paul Tracy on receiving end of Chrome Horn SUV Hip check!

As guess somebody didn’t know who they were Rubbin’ the Wrong way, Eh?

 

Thanks to Offical’ No Fenders Photographer Carpets’ for initially alerting me to the news that PT’, Sugar Ray Tracy or simply good ‘Ol Paul Tracy was struck by an errant SUV when bicycling this past Friday.

 

As the Thrill from the West Hill was  definitely feeling thee Agony ‘O Defeat! When being struck by a Sport Utility Vehicle, and initially thinking He’d just suffered a dislocated shoulder.

 

Yet the 55yr old former IndyCar Champion and 2002 Indianapolis 500 runner-up subsequently was diagnosed with three broken vertebrae,and possibly a hip fracture/injury? After being transferred to a local Trauma Centre. Presumably having had surgery this past weekend? And now will begin His recovery.

 

Although in typical PT’ fashion, Tracy posted to His verified X account that this would Fuck Up His Fitness regimen!

 

Whilst I’ll admit I’ve lost track of Tracy’s current activities since leaving NBC’s IndyCar booth in 2021. Other than He went racing in Smoke’s (Tony Stewart) former SRX racing series…