Monday, December 26, 2022

A New Boxing Day Holidazes Tradition continues

As Hopefully the Red Baron Won’t you Know What to this No Fenders Post, ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!


“Everybody Knows A Turkey and some Missletoe

Helps to Keep the Season Bright!”


Although neither Snoopy or thou Red Baron will be taking Off today. Since it feels Nippy enough for another very rare arrival of Snow here in Bumfiddle’ Florence, which is a rarity due to our proximity to Sea level Ho Ho Ho!


As once again, the day after Veterans Day. Cool FM, Eugene’s 99.1FM Radio Station which some of us can pick up sporadically on Ye Oregon Coast via Florence’s Transmitter. When it’s Not Foggy, Raining, Hailing out and you’re holding your Elboz’ just right, Oh Never Mind! Began Thar yearly Holiday Programming.


since they’d is it a Gory Eight weeks or is it Thee Number Nine? No. 9 Numeral Nein? Of Nonstop, round Ye clock 24/7 Nothing but Ack Ack Ack Christmas Songs Barrage goes thru New Years.


Although I sort of enjoy this since it’s the only time ‘O year Yuhs can Hear such Classics as John Lennon’s so this is Christmas, which is definitely my Numero Uno X-Mas Song!


Along with The Beach Boys ‘lil Saint Nick “run run Reindeer” song. Or I want A Hippopotamus for Christmas. Alvin and The Chipmunks, chuck Berry’s run run Rudolf, You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch along with other various Classics like Bing Crosby and David Bowies Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy Duet et Al.


Not to mention I always tend to hear some Vintage Christmas song I haven’t heard before. As two years ago I spent several weeks trying to figure out that it was The Carpenters singing Sleigh ride from their 1978 Album Christmas Portrait, but I digress…


But I most definitely got a Smile on my face when hearing for the very first time ever last November The Ballad of Snoopy’s Yuletide Dogfight!


As the song is by The Royal Guardsmen, a Florida Rock Band who later became known as the “Snoopy Band!” As their Snoopy Christmas song was recorded in 1966. With the song reaching No. 2 on the billboard Hot 100 and was certified Gold in early ’67.


Funniest bit ‘O trivia is the Band recorded the song without Charles Schulz’s initial permission. So their record label Up North Eh! In Ye Great White North of Oh Kanaduh’ refused to release it due to potential legal issues Stateside with Messer Schulz.


So the Band put out a very blatant re-issue called Squeaky ant The Black Knight Up North Eh! Which also became popular in Ye Frozen Tundra before Schulz gave his permission for the song.


Hence, naturally I got a Wild Hair to “See” if I could find said Squeaky and The Black Knight Great White North “Import” version, for which I was super Surprised that it came up almost immediately, Ja Volt!


As They All lived to Fight Another Gory Day, Ho Ho Ho!


Since after All, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of The Year,” SPEW! Now, does anybody know where I can buy a Turkey? Or how Much this Damn Bird Weighs? Ho Ho Ho…


Happy boxing Day, Yall! 

Sunday, December 25, 2022

Happy Holley 4-barrel Holidazes, Y'all!

Groan, he's at it again. In what's now become a yearly tradition here on No Fenders. Where your Humble Scribe Tomaso tortures Y’all with his witty repartee of his version of poetry  from a much overused theme, Hya!


As Merry Festimus' Y'all, from Ye Mystical Isle 'O Nofendersville, a Happy, Joyous, Contented piece 'O Wind Swept Barren Rock, Somewheres' on thou Oregonian Coast between Winchester Bay and Cape Perpetua, R-R-R' Mateys!


Although it's another somewhat Blue, Blue Christmas, since unfortunately that Fine Kuhnaidiun' Lass Claire's No longer with us. Not to mention Ye Rhythm Professor, thou one ‘N only Neil Peart, or Sadly Pixie the Wonderdog, Wuf Wuf!


Betcha thought I was gonna Roll with 'Ol Elvis's Blue-Blue-Blue platter, Eh? But Claire would want something a 'lil more up-tempo like I Dunno, a ‘lil Ditty from Ye Muppets Me Thinks!


As  Y’all can See ‘N Hear Claire’s unique Zest for life on one of her past videos. As Claire also went by the “Handle” Panda, and I can only “guess” Ha Ha where her inspiration for this funny video came from…




As may be it’s ye Eggnog? But I always think of my favourite Two Hosers this time ‘O year, Fa la la la la lah…


NO! Not thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown and thou Young Wicky! (Robert Wickens) Nor Scott "What Pace Car?" Goodyear & Jockess V, nee Jack Vanilla, aka Jacques Villeneuve. Nye Pat "The Carpenter" (Carpentier) Nor TAG', nee Alex Tagliani. Or our two Newest Hosers Dalton Kellett or Devlin DeFrancesco, but I digress…


Nope instead, per tipicali this time 'O year, those loveable KuhNucks Bob & Doug always come to mind, along with thar signature version of a certain Christmas song! And ah One, and Ah two Ladies ‘N Germs…


On the First Day 'O Carmania, 'Ol Carroll Shelby Growled loudly at Me;

Son, Thar better be Juan 'O my Darn Blasted Contraptions in your Pitiful Song!


On the Twelfth Day 'O Carmania, 'Ol shel Grumbled to Thee,


12 Long's Doughnuts

11 X Rows of Shiny Dallara's

10Speeding Ferrari's

Nine BOSS Mustangs

eight 'lil E No. 88 Diecast's

Seven Bars 'O Geddy Lee


Like Where’s My Thing Geddy? Hit it! And Ah-One and Ah-Two…


Six Carling Black Labels'

Five Aston Martin DB5's'

four Borg Warner Trophies

three Diamantina Cocktails'

Two Saleen Mustangs

And a Bad Arse 289 FIA Shelby Cobra underneath thou Tree!


As this witty repartee from Thy Isle 'O Nofendersville was inspired by Bob & Doug McKenzie, for which they'd definitely say Take Off Eh! As this "Song's" Definitely Done, and that Labatts too Hoser!


And to All who continue reading thy No fenders Blog, A Huge shout Out and Thanks!


Along with Everybody who Assists me over thoust Gory Year, i.e.; Blogmeister Miguel, Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary ellen, Claudio & Nelie, the Florentines Jonathan and Jeannie, Snowbyrd MJ and Randal thy No Fenders Moniker King, Carpets’, Artiste Dave and whomever I left Out


As ‘Ol Lawrence Welk would say Ah One, and Ah Two and Ah Very good Night! Felice Navidad and Merry Kringle! Since after all, It is the most wonderful, BARF! Oh put a Sock in It Andy Williams, Hya!


See Y'all early Nex Year, when “I Shall return” in earnest on January 9, 2023. Although I’ll throw in a few New Years Appetizers to tide Y’all over…





Picture Credit:

Now that Chrysler’s Killed their Awesome Dodge V-8 Hellcat Charger and SRT “Redeye” Challengers, BOO! Hopefully Santa will still be able to find replacement parts from Mopar for His Bitchin’ Sled, Ho Ho Ho!

(Image source:     

Saturday, December 24, 2022

Merry Kringle, Y'all!

‘Twas the day before Christmas, when through all of the paddocks.

Not a motor was idling, not even a single Cosworth “Lump” could be heard.

The garages were swept and tidied with care,
In hopes that Roger Penske soon would be there.

The mechanics were nestled all snug in their beds.
While visions of Championship bonuses danced in their heads.
(Not to mention HULIO dreaming of what might have been, if only he hadn't crashed over that 'Yump in Houston)


And “Princess” in her negligee, (Or was that her Cowboy Hat 'N swim suit?) Along with Paul Tracy in his crash bucket, had just settled down for a quick tryst in the sack.


(Hey! I hear that Dan-Dan-Danickers' now available, right Aaron? Likes guess that’s Not the Only fumble You’ve Made…)


When out on the lawn there arose such a racket, ‘ol PT sprang from the bed to see what “TAG, Suitcase Servia, Whiney Bags and Bad Bobby D’ were groaning about.


Away to the window Tracy flew like a demon. Ran over the back markers and punted the Hamburgular clear outta the way.


The smoke from between Sea Bass’s ears. Glistened like a smoke signal, without a glow. When, what to PT’s wandering eyes should appear but a Ferrari ENZO followed by an armada of Prancing Horses in tow.


The ENZO was piloted by an ex-Formula 1 driver, still brutally quick.
That Tracy knew in an instant it must be Michael Schumacher.

More rapid than a grid full of Bridgestone alternate “soft rubber tyre’ Formula 1 chassis in “Qualie Two” light fuel tanks mode. The seven times World Champion whistled and jeered, and called them by name;


Now, Mika now, Coulthard! Now, Rubinoe and Ralfanso!

On, Heinz-Harald! On Villeneuve! On Damion and Irvine!


To the front of the grid! To the head of the pack.

Now burn rubber, burn rubber baby, burn rubber quick!


As tyre tracks that leave ominous black streaks behind. While Herr Schumacher leaves another competitor further behind!


So up to the roof-top the Prancing Horses flew. With trunk loads of presents and Schuey too. And then, came a banshee wail of the ENZO, high atop the roof.


The revving and idling of each assorted Ferrari. As PT rubbed his hands. Down the chimney Schuey forlornly came. He was dressed all in Scuderia Red, from his head to his foot.

And his Nomex driver’s suit was all tarnished with ashes and soot.

an assortment of winning trophies, he’d stuffed into his back pack.


His eyes -- how they twinkled! His rosy cheeks, how they glowed.

His hair as always was perfect, (by Loreal…)


his jaw like a chisel! His lips clenched in a mischievous smirk. As the smile was reminiscent of a Cheshire cat.


The remains of a Cuban cigar hung limply from his teeth. As clouds of Smoke encircled Schuey's head like a wreath.

He had a taunt face and washboard abs. that still showed his youthful physique when he laughed at the dumbfounded PT. He was strong and fit as an ox, a festive and jolly elf.


Thus Paul could only laugh when he appeared


A wink of his eye and a twist of his head. Soon gave TRACY nothing to fear. As Schuey spoke nary a word, but went straight to his work. Filling all of the stockings with various racing trinkets. (Such as the 2002 Borg Warner Cup, a new three year contract signed by P.L. Newman & Carl Haas along with some of the Hamburgular’s secret winning sauce…)


Before Messer Chrome Horn could wipe away his astonishment, the famous German turned Quickly, laying his finger aside of his nose. And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.


He sprang to his idling ENZO, and to his waiting minions gave a whistle. And the screeching of tortured Ferrari lumps could be heard as they burst away like rocket ships! But ‘Ol PT heard Schumacher exclaim, as he power-slided out of sight,

"Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night."


Merry Kringle Y'all!



(Originally written by Tomaso – December, 2007; last modified on Dec 19, 2021) 

Thursday, December 22, 2022

F1: Team Principals Roulette

As Who Knows? May be the Music has already Stopped? And Santa’s brought Williams a new Head Honcho?


Although I’d say it was a very poor kept “Secret.” Nonetheless,

Maranello finally made it official that Alfa Romeo’s Frederic Vasser is replacing the “Axed” Mattia Binotto as Scuderia Ferrari’s new F1 Team Principal.


As it’s been reported that Ferrari Supremo John elkin loss Faith in Binotto a long time ago, with “Talks” with Vasser having begun before this year’s Italian Grand Prix.


But what I Didn’t expect, and reportedly happened in some scant 18 Hours? Was that McLaren’s Andreas Seidl was granted an early exit to replace Vasser as Alfa Romeo/Sauber’s Motorsports New CEO. As Vasser had previously held both the CEO and Team Principal roles at Himwal.


Which surely Dovetails nicely with Audi’s impending Takeover for the 2026 Formula 1 season. Since Seidl previously worked for BMW in formula 1 along with it’s return to DTM. And then moved to Porsche to become it’s FIA World Sportscar Championship Team Principal before joining McLaren. As one of Seidl first moves will be to Hire a new Team Principal for Alfa Romeo.


Thus Mr. Zakery Brown quickly elevated Andrea Stella to fill Seidl’s role, making the Italian who came from Ferrari McLaren’s New F1 Team Principal.


Which only leaves Williams Racing with vacancies to fill. As Team leader Jost Capito resigned at Age 64, along with Technical Director Francois-Xavier Demaison leaving the Grove outfit. As perhaps Messer Binotto would be a good choice for Williams? But who knows what Dorilton Capital, Owners of the once mighty Team willy’ will do next?


And the new Williams Team Boss will have His Hands Full! Since not only has Capito and Demaison Walked Away. But there’s currently No Head of Aerodynamics, whilst reportedly multiple “Junior” Staff are leaving for rival F1 Teams on a weekly basis. Which sounds like the upheaval of “Rats leaving a Sinking Ship!” Or that soon a new Owner will take over the Helm? 

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

The 2022 Formula 1 Golden Tailpipe Awards edition

Oh Rudolf, you’re definitely lighting up these amazing No Fenders selections, Ho Ho Ho!


This year’s Holidazes have certainly Stunk! As Thy Turkey Lurkey Dazes Crud, Err cold that was Sweeping the Nation certainly took Ye Stuffing Outta Mwah! For which is why these F1 Golden Tailpipe Awards are fairly Sanguine, Eh?


As Y’all can compare ‘N contrast these Spur of Ye Cuff, Nonsensical selections vs. last year’s in the link below.



2022 F1 World Champion: Max Verstappen

2022 Constructors Champion: Red Bull Racing

2022 Monaco Grand Prix: Sergio Perez



1. Driver of The Year

Winner: Carlos Sainz Jr.

Yeah, Y’all are probably ah-Sayin’ Carlos Who for Driver Of the Year, Righto? But None of the Usual Suspects did anything to impress Mwah this year!


What gave the nod to Carlos for Mwah is that He Doesn’t Whine like other top name drivers, Yoo Hoo Maximus Hothead!


And although Carlos was beset by a bevy of mechanical Gremlins, multiple Power Unit changes, Pit strategy Blunders and other team issues. Sainz seemingly didn’t give up and claimed His maiden Grand Prix victory on His 150th start! Coming on the Heels of His Debutante Pole position, which ultimately was the first of three Poles scored this season.


Not to mention I’m always amazed at how Hard Carlos and His competitors work behind the wheel, especially when playing Sainz’as In-car radio! As it would be nice to think that it’ll be a “Fair” Fight against esteemed team leader Charles Leclerc in 2023, whenever the new Team Principal’s announced. Since I’m guessing it’s only a matter of time before Frederik Vasser’s installed at Maranello…


Other Choices

Alex Albon, Kevin Magnussen, Valtteri Bottas and Sergio Perez


2. Biggest Disappointments of The Year

The Biggest Disappointment has to be Porpoise Gate! Like this is the Sport that Bill’s itself as The Pinnicle of Motorsport! And yet their brand new chassis were Pogo sticking Up ‘N down the racetracks All over the Globe, Crikeys! Which is may be why Miami brought in a Bevy ‘O Mermaids for it’s Grand Prix Debut, Eh? Y’all know, right next to the Faux Lake in the Hard rock Stadium’s Parkring lot. No, look Over Thar!


As the phenomen was caused by the reintroduction of Ground Effects in the name of improving F1 chassis following each other. And as we All know, Mercedes got their design the worst of the Big Dawgs’ and chased Thar Tails all the way to Abu Dhabi…


Other Disappointments lie with Red Bull Racing’s Cost Cap infringement of the 2021 F1 Season. Along with ‘lil Maximus Hothead’s continuous Child-like Tantrum Throwing escapades! As I tried sharing my thoughts first following Maximilian’s Sky Sports row at Mexico City in the following No Fenders tome.


And then further pontificated Max’s ridiculous Behaviour in Sao Paolo, as Seriously Max? You’ve definitely been Naughty this year!


3. Race of The Year

Winner: British Grand Prix

Ok, it’s so long ago now, I hardly remember it. But I know that the Silverstone race was a veritable Donnybrook! As I tend to recall that Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc was Bellyaching for la Scuderia to put Him in front of Carlos. With the Spaniard having to pass for the lead twice. Not to mention during a late race restart. Along with Leclerc and Golden Child’, aka Sir Lewis Hamilton having a Mega Mano e Mano passing Duel which collectively had everyone Holding their Breaths as they went Wheel to wheel!


But I was estatic for Carlos finally Breaking His duck! And He definitely earned this win! As it’s just a Shame He only netted a single victory this season…


Other Choices

Brazil, Baku, Mexico City?


4. Most Improved Team of the Year

Winner: Alfa Romeo F1 Team Orlen

Initially I’d planned on giving this choice to the plucky Haas F1 Team. But upon complying this year’s F1 constructors points tally, I was more impressed by Alfa Romeo’s improvement.

As the Switzerland based Sauber AG concern moved up the pecking order by three places, albeit having finished level on points with Aston Martin. But won on the first Tiebreaker. Arse-sumedly Valtteri’s two finishes of sixth place being better than Aston’s…


And although it’s a far cry from His fiver year stint at the All conquering Silver Arrows, Valtteri Bottas scored the bulk of the team’s 55 points, over four times better than 2021’s tally of 13. With Valtteri’s 49 points netting the Afable Finn’ tenth Overall in the Drivers rankings this season…


5. Most Disappointing Team of the Year

Co-winners: Scuderia Ferrari, Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team

Giving this to two of the sport’s top Teams for obvious reasons! Although both have already been discussded Ad Nauseim…


What more can I say about la Scuderia? Although History will show they finished Runner-up in this year’s Constructors Battle, they were a distant 200-plus points behind Red Bull! And from mechanical woes to ridiculous Pit strategies, somebody Had to take the Fall, which is why I guess Mattia Binotto has reluctantly Resigned after a lifetime at Ferrari…


Ditto for Mercedes, even though I’m quite Happy to Have a different F1 Constructors Champion for the first time since 2014! But you just wouldn’t expect the Eight-times Constructors Champion to get it’s car so wrong, and be the Butt of Porpoise Gate! 

Sunday, December 18, 2022

The 2022 Formula 1 Golden Tailpipe Awards edition, Positions 6-10

Watch Out, Tomaso’s Behind the Wheel! As where are Yuhs Reverend Billy?


Nah, I haven’t even been drinking Ye “fortified “ Eggnog yet Kiddies! H-E Double Hockey Sticks, I haven’t even bought any Eggnog! As Here goes Nothing!



6. Most Impressive Driver of The Year

Winner: Alex Albon

I’ve always like Alexander since His Trial by Fire as an F1 Rookie being Max Verstappen’s Wingman, Err teammate. And anyone who suffers Appendicitis during a Grand Prix weekend, along with suffering Respiratory Failure following His emergency Appendectomy! And spends “Sheet time” in a Hospital ICU, before going home and only missing one Grand Prix, definitely gets my Nod for Bad Arse!


Not to mention continuously dragging the recalcitrant Williams further up the grid than should be expected, i.e.; Qualie’ Q3’s Top 10 Shootout! Along with totally annihilating His teammate, albeit Nicholas Latifi is definitely Chopped liver. But it would be nice to see what Albon could do once again in a Top-five car, say like the Alpine, Eh?


7. Most Improved Driver of the Year

Winner: George Russell

Not really sure if this is a fair choice? Although I’ll begrudgingly give George Russell the nod, even if I totally feel like He’s part of today’s Nauseating Brat Pack, i.e.; Verstappen, Leclerc, Norris and Russell!


Whilst should we be surprised with Russell’s going from the Back marker Team Willy’ mount to winning His Debutante Grand Prix this year in the once, all mighty Silver arrows…


8. Most Disappointing Driver of the Year

Winner: Daniel Ricciardo

Guess I’m jumping on the DannyRic’ Gang plank and just piling on whose one of my favourite drivers. Yet where did it All go so wrong for Ricciardo? Or should I be that surprised that Lando Norris has so thoroughly decimated the popular Aussie’ On-track this year!



Yet for the driver who once gave Maximus Hothead plenty to Stew about, it was Uber Hard seeing Ricciardo so underperform this year! And I can only wonder if He’ll not only ever find His way back into a competitive chassis, but let alone return to the F1 Grid?


9. Personality of Year

Winner: Kevin Magnussen

Yeah, I’m a “Softy” for sentimental choices. As Thars lotso personalities in F1, albeit many of them totally rub me wrong these days!


Yet having freely chosen to Not watch All 22 stupendous races this year, I’m simply going with what last put a broad Grin upon my Mug for 86% of the weekend.


Y’all know when Kevin Bacon’ Magnussen said twice over His IN-car radio Are You Fucking Kidding Me! When initially being informed of being on Pole position at Interlagos, Baby! Before having to wait out the last eight-plus minutes of a rain sodden racetrack before walking to the Podium interview!


10. Rookie of The Year

Winner: Guanyu Zhou

As the only Rookie in this year’s field, China’s first Formula 1 Driver wins by default. Although I’ve got nothing Bad to say about Zhou’s performance this year. As you’d have to say He performed up to what expectations would be for driving in the Back marker Alfa Romeo, along with going up against vastly experienced teammate Valtteri Bottas who Capped His 200th Grand Prix start at season’s end upon Yas Isle… 

Thursday, December 15, 2022

The 2022 IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Awards edition

And the Winner takes it by a Nose! Somebody give me a cheeseburger…


Yessiree Bog, Bob’s Your Uncle Mateys! As I’m just trying to finish off the year’s No Fenders posts Here upon Ye mystical’ Isle of Nofendersville, with Thy yearly IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Award selections. Hence these choices were just quickly Jotted upon after my initial Spur of Ye Cuff selections below.


Whilst Y’all can compare ‘n contrast this year’s choices with the Uber Exciting 2021 Selections in the following link.



2022 IndyCar Champion: Will Power

2022 Indy 500: Marcus ericsson

2022 Rookie Of the Year: Christian Lundgaard



1. Driver of The Year

Winner: Will Power

This one seemed pretty easy this year, especially since I’m still a Fan of DJ willyP’s! As Will was metronomic this season, improving eight positions Ahead of last’s year’s results.


And even if He only claimed one win enroute to His second IndyCar title. His steady Podiums and Top Five results were impressive. Like when He pulled a third place outta a lowly P16 Starting position at Mid-Ohio!


But even more remarkable was His finally surpassing ye Great SuperMario’, aka Mario Andretti for All-time IndyCar Career Pole positions with 68!


As it seems a really long time now since I briefly spoke to a much younger Will Power at the IMS Museum the day after the ’09 Indianapolis 500, when He was the third wheel running Penske Trucking sponsorship in a partial season…


2. Biggest Disappointments of The Year


Have to say that the whole Palou Gate Saga was uber disappointing, since it basically came down to Ye time Honoured tradition of Money! As initially I was Shocked by Alex Palou publicly stating He wouldn’t be driving for Ye Cheepster’, aka Chip Ganassi next year. Having decided upon the Greener pastures of Arrow McLaren SP and everythingy’ Mr. Zakery Brown Had promised Him…


Yet like colton Herta said best, Zak’s Cut Throat, He’s a Businessman! While I can’t really fault Chip Ganassi for telling Alex to Honour the Contract He’d previously signed, presumably under No Duress.


As we All know how this worked out, meaning I’m really Not sure who I’m most Disappointed with? Especially since All three involved played a part in this Ugly and ultimately Stupid Affair! With Palou simply having to wait another year before He can drive for AMSP. Where you’ve gotta wonder why Tyler Kiel wanted to leave…


The other big Disappointment to Mwah, albeit should I really be surprised? Is the apparent lack of leadership at IndyCar. As this has to be my favourite Open Wheel Racing series, but Chirp Chirp, Bueller?


Does Anybody beside All of us Diehard IndyCar Fans know about it? As last time I checked, having the most competitive racing series didn’t Cut It! As I loathe The Real Housewives of Formula 1! But you’ve got to say it’s made the Drivers wildly popular and the Stars of F1! Especially since Thar racing wasn’t that exciting this year…


But it’s Sad, as Y’all know where I’m going, But? When the Biggest disappointment of the Year for Mwah is What’s NXT from IndyCar’s Vaunted Braintrust? And why isn’t it’s Next Generation Indy Lights Champion Linus Lundqvist Not getting a Shot to make it in the Big Leagues, ergo IndyCar?


3. Race of The Year

Oval Track Winner: Gateway (World Wide Technology Raceway)

So we’ll never know, and it seemed a pretty tall order at the time.  Since Rookie David Malukas was trying to Hunt Down Uber Bad Arse Two times IndyCar champion Josef Newgarden for His possible maiden IndyCar victory. But Malukas’s Post-race comments about Oh My Gawd! I’m chasing two Team Penske Cars, like do Not do Anything Stupid to them!


As who knows if David Had listened to veteran Spotter Pancho carter’s advice earlier, if He could have Also passed Newgarden on the High line? But I know I sat at my Confuzer’ with both sets ‘O fingers crossed chanting G-O Malukas! When listening to the race via IndyCar Radio. And ScotyMac’ didn’t seem too pleased to have lost second place, even though He seemed to know it was Ah-Comin’.


Other Choices

Texas Motor Speedway, Indianapolis 500


Twisties' Track Winner: Laguna Seca

The Season Finale gets my nod this year, even if some might call it a snoozer due to Alex Palou’s 30-second Beatdown over Team Penske!


Yet the race was gripping to Mwah, since I badly wanted Will Power to win His second IndyCar title, which He did with aplomb by finishing third. As Power seemed to send the Shot Across Newgarden’s Bow when winning His record setting 68th Pole the day prior with Josef stuck in the Kitty-litter!


Other Choices

Barber Motorsports Park


4. Most Improved Team of the Year

Winner: Juncos Hollinger Racing

Have always been a Fan of Riccardo Juncos, and Callum Ilott quickly vaulted Himself to my current third favourite IndyCar Driver behind Pato O’Ward and David Malukas, but I digress…


Ok, so it’s just their first Full season in Indy Cars, but what a remarkable improvement over last year’s three West coast races. As this team and Ilott always seem to be Fighting Above their “Playing” Weight! Especially since they were the only single car entry on the Grid.


5. Most Disappointing Teams of the Year

Co-Winners: ECR and MSR

Yeah I know, it’s only supposed to be one single team. And I could go with my yearly Underperformers Andretti, or RLLR.


As I would have simply chosen Meyer Shank Racing (MSR) for this dubious award. Yet it’s too easy with that Fast Talkin’ Dancing Fool Hulio’ on it’s roster! Like are you really surprised over Helio Castroneves poor results this year?


But I did expect more out of Symone’, nee Pageantry’, aka Simon Pagenaud. Or is this a true reflection of how much work the team has to do? Especially with Thar Technical Alliance with Mikey a’s Squad.


Won’t discuss Fast Eddie’s diminishing pace behind the Keyboard. And I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised with Ye Count Rinus VeeKay’s spotty performance, Eh? While conor Daly was simply disappointing! As not sure why I expected more from ECR this year?

For the Conclusion of this Golden Tailpipe  Awards Categories 6-10, i.e.; Most Improved Driver of The Year, Most Disappointing Driver of The Year, Comeback Driver of The Year, “Big Boyz Pants” Award and Rookie of The Year, Please visit the following No Fenders link below…

Monday, December 12, 2022

The 2022 IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Awards edition, Positions 6-10

Run Run Rudolf, Maximilian Silver Hammer Verstappen’s definitely Got the Hammer Down!


Rock ‘N Roll Kiddoes’, Uhm, Fasten Your Seatbelts for Another Bumpy ride! As it’s time for another rendition of Tomaso’s wacky Year ender Awards that Everyone just Absolutely Craves…



6. Most Improved Driver of the Year

Winner: Scott McLaughlin

Really became a Fan of ScottyMac’ as the season rolled on. Which is Funny since typically I don’t root for Penske Drivers, but Scott McLaughlin is just a totally Fresh Breath of Air for the typically Button down, Starched Shirt Team Penske regime!


Scott got off to a rocketing start by winning His maiden IndyCar race at St Pete from Pole position. Before totally Dominating Texas, only to have Josef Newgarden Pip Him at the Chequered Flag!


Then there was the dreaded Sophomore Slump, predominantly during the Month of May. Although team strategy Hosed Him during Qualifying for the Indianapolis 500!


But Scot got back on track with a seventh place finish at Road America before scoring His second W’ of the year at Mid-Ohio. And then He put a total Beatdown upon the field at Portland! Leading 104 of 110 laps from Pole!


As I’d say this was a total Breakout season for the Uber Bad Arse former Kiwi’ Supercars Driver! Who finished fourth Overall this season with three Poles including Nashville to compliment His first three IndyCar victories! With surely more to come next year…


7. Most Disappointing Driver of the Year

Winner: Jack Harvey

Like other choices, it would be super easy to give this to such luminaries as Helio Castroneves, Jimmie Johnson, conor Daly, et Al.

Yet the Driver for Mwah that spectacularly Flamed Out this year had to be Jack, Not bloody Nige’ Harvey! Dropping nine places from last year, to a lowly P22 Overall.


As I Don’t know if it was having the weight of Hy-Vee upon His Shoulders or what? Uhm, like joining a new team? But Harvey routinely floundered in the lower  grasps of the Mid-pack or worse All season long! With a trio of 13th places and a Best finish of 10th at Nashville’s All skate. As Bloody Hell, Harvey finished five points and one place behind ‘Ol JJ’, aka Jimmie Johnson in the Season’s standings, Youch!


Runner-up: Kyle Kirkwood

Yeah, I probably shouldn’t be so Harsh upon the Rookie, who after all drove for the perpetually underperforming A.J. foyt concern. And Thar was probably so much Hype Hoisted upon this Rookie, myself included. But Kirkwood was simply a Bad Arse who completely Dominated All of the Road to Indy ladder series! Including tying J.R. Hildebrand’s U.S. F2000 and Greg Moore’s Indy Lights records for Most Wins in a season!


Thus I simply Didn’t expect this Heralded Rookie to finish last in the Rookie Of the Year battle…


8. Comeback Driver of The Year

Winner: Felix Rosenqvist

This likeable Swede’ has been on an upwards trajectory ever since that Nasty Crash on Belle Isle! Y’all know when His throttle stuck wide open unexpectedly! As couple that with a pretty lackluster season due to not being able to drive teammate Pato O’Wards setup seeing Felix finish a lowly P21 Overall, Yikes!


Yet with AMSP putting veteran Engineer Craig Hansen on His car, along with having Pato vocally insisting on keeping rosenqvist as His teammate during the entire Palou Gate Echo Chamber’s machine. And Felix just methodically putting His Head down and claiming podiums and finishing a respectable eighth Overall. I’d say Rosenqvist completely turned His season around. Whilst Hopefully next year simply won’t be a placeholder until Alex Palou finally arrives at Arrow McLaren SP in 2024…


9. “Big Boyz Pants” Award

Winner: “The Hamburger and ‘lil Spud show”

I first became enamored with Racer’s Marshall Pruett’s weekend race video segments with le Hamburgular’, nee SeaBaas’, aka Sebastien Bourdais in 2021. For which these Zany, entertaining video segments have only gotten better this year with Marshall teaming up with Rookie David Malukas. As I know I shouldn’t be so easily swayed with a Driver simply by their On Camera presence, but! The teenager’s Quirky, entertaining persona’s quickly won me over!


As I scribbled towards the end of the season, following another Brilliant! Wacky Video interview: How can you Not Root for this Guy, ‘lil spud’, aka David Malukas to be Rookie Of the Year? As this Hamburger ‘N spud’ interview following Portland Qualifying was Priceless!


10. Rookie of The Year

Winner: David Malukas

Yeah, I know that some “Comotose” Dane’ won the actual ROY trophy, But! Although I was aware of thee young Malukas due to His finishing Runner-up in the Indy Lights Championship before focusing upon His NXT move, Oh Never Mind!


David came to the forefront for Mwah at Mother Speedway, where the Hipocrits chose RoundyRound Taxicabs Ace ‘Ol JJ’ for Indianapolis’s Rookie Of the Year Honours…


As IndyCar Radio Pit Reporter Ryan Marin said it best. That Malukas was driving like some Rookie Trophy Had been Stolen! When claiming His first Fast Six Shootout appearance at Detroit’s Belle Isle immediately following the Indy 500!


And then Malukas simply Stole the Show at Gateway, when He finally ceded to Sotter Pancho Carter’s advice that the High line was the Right line! Enroute to His career best second place finish after passing ScottyMac’ at races end!


Now the $64k Questione is whether or not Malukas can continue His magic next year when He’s paired with a brand new Race Engineer at the Minnowesqe Vanna I wanna buy a vowel HMD Motorsports with Dale Coyne Racing team…