Wednesday, December 7, 2022

Oh Max, You’ve been Naughty Again!

So Don’t be too shocked if Thars a lump ‘O Coal in your Stocking this year!


Hmm, I cannot understand why the North Pole just stamped Return to Sender upon Max Verstappen’s Christmas Wish list to ‘Ol Santa. As apparently Saint Nick said He Didn’t have any time to waste upon reading it…


You’re A Mean One Mr. Max!

You’re A Heel

You’re as Cuddly as A Cactus

You’re  as Charming as an eel!


Oh what’s that Checo?

You wouldn’t Touch Maximilian with a 39 and a Half Foot long Pole!


Uhm, what’s that Sir Lewis? You say Maximus’s Christmas Card got Lost in the Mail?

You say that He’s A Bad Banana

And Greasy as A Black Peel,

And that You’re A Monster Mr. Max!


Oh DannyRic’, you Didn’t want to say much on Yas Isle, but what’s that?

You say Mr. Max is Full of Vile,

His Smile’s Full of Termites

And His tender Sweetness

Matches that of A Seasick Crocodile!


And being known as the “Honey Badger” and the “Smiling  Assassin,”

You’d rather spend your Holiday with the Seasick Crocodile!


What’s that Pierre?

When it comes to Mr. Max Sharing Setup’s

He’s a Foul One

As Rank as a Waspy Skunk!

And the three Children’s words that Best Describe Him Are

And you Quote: Stink, Stank and Stunk!


Pardon the interruption ‘lil syd viddle, did you want to say something?

You say Mr. Max’s Driving style Nauseates you

And All that Herky Jerky Swerving

Reminds you of ‘Ol Edward Irvine

And that His Crooked Jerky style is

Straight as A Hook!


Ok, with Apologies to All those who are Fans of that timeless classic “You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch!” For which I Shamelessly Pilfered above, I think Y’all get the idea, Righto?


As ‘lil Maximus Hothead’s certainly been Naughty this Year! Which is Sad, but Not surprising in the least.


Only Sad since it simply continues Blotting His and Red Bull’s “Copybook,” Err Reputations! Not to mention now surrounding His first two Formula 1 World Championships in Controversy!


As Y’all know Max Verstappen’s ridiculous, Child-like Tantrum throwing comment at the end of the Brazilian Grand Prix when His Team instructed Him to give Red Bull Racing teammate Sergio Checo’ Perez sixth place Back in order to enable Perez to go to Abu Dhabi two points Ahead of Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc, who He was Battling for second Overall in the F1 Driver Standings.


As it’s Sad How I was suddenly rootin’ for Leclerc to finish One point Ahead of Perez! And Not because I Don’t like Sergio, who I Always Root for instead of Max! But just that it would further totally demonstrate Max’s insolence! As Max tersely said over His IN Car radio following the Chequered Flag:


“I told you Already, Don’t Ask that  again to me . Are we Clear on that? I gave My reason and I Stand by It!”


Regardless of your “Double Secret” reason, you cannot Have It both ways Max! Telling the Media to leave you alone, but then refusing to give them any substantive explanation…


As you only Have yourself to Blame for opening up another Can of Worms Max! As seriously? You couldn’t simply move over for your Dutiful Wingman and let Him Have P6? As Sergio’s In Car radio comment following your Disgusting antics at Interlagos was 110% Spot On!


“This Shows who He really is!”


Although I truly Hope this Spilled Milk Ain’t over Checo’s supposed, purposely wrecking at Monaco, for which I Don’t understand why the FIA Doesn’t have a rule like IndyCar. Y’all know if you cause a Red Flag, you lose your two Quickest laps!


But this rant’s supposed to be about ‘lil Boo Hoo Max Verstappen. So let’s All Shed some Crocodile Tears over Max getting a Stocking Full of Coal this year!


Uh, I mean after all, if He’s currently racing on a $240m as in Millions Contract extension. Then Gory Hell, Maximilian can Dearly Afford to Buy His own Presents, Ho Ho Ho!