Monday, December 12, 2022

The 2022 IndyCar Golden Tailpipe Awards edition, Positions 6-10

Run Run Rudolf, Maximilian Silver Hammer Verstappen’s definitely Got the Hammer Down!


Rock ‘N Roll Kiddoes’, Uhm, Fasten Your Seatbelts for Another Bumpy ride! As it’s time for another rendition of Tomaso’s wacky Year ender Awards that Everyone just Absolutely Craves…



6. Most Improved Driver of the Year

Winner: Scott McLaughlin

Really became a Fan of ScottyMac’ as the season rolled on. Which is Funny since typically I don’t root for Penske Drivers, but Scott McLaughlin is just a totally Fresh Breath of Air for the typically Button down, Starched Shirt Team Penske regime!


Scott got off to a rocketing start by winning His maiden IndyCar race at St Pete from Pole position. Before totally Dominating Texas, only to have Josef Newgarden Pip Him at the Chequered Flag!


Then there was the dreaded Sophomore Slump, predominantly during the Month of May. Although team strategy Hosed Him during Qualifying for the Indianapolis 500!


But Scot got back on track with a seventh place finish at Road America before scoring His second W’ of the year at Mid-Ohio. And then He put a total Beatdown upon the field at Portland! Leading 104 of 110 laps from Pole!


As I’d say this was a total Breakout season for the Uber Bad Arse former Kiwi’ Supercars Driver! Who finished fourth Overall this season with three Poles including Nashville to compliment His first three IndyCar victories! With surely more to come next year…


7. Most Disappointing Driver of the Year

Winner: Jack Harvey

Like other choices, it would be super easy to give this to such luminaries as Helio Castroneves, Jimmie Johnson, conor Daly, et Al.

Yet the Driver for Mwah that spectacularly Flamed Out this year had to be Jack, Not bloody Nige’ Harvey! Dropping nine places from last year, to a lowly P22 Overall.


As I Don’t know if it was having the weight of Hy-Vee upon His Shoulders or what? Uhm, like joining a new team? But Harvey routinely floundered in the lower  grasps of the Mid-pack or worse All season long! With a trio of 13th places and a Best finish of 10th at Nashville’s All skate. As Bloody Hell, Harvey finished five points and one place behind ‘Ol JJ’, aka Jimmie Johnson in the Season’s standings, Youch!


Runner-up: Kyle Kirkwood

Yeah, I probably shouldn’t be so Harsh upon the Rookie, who after all drove for the perpetually underperforming A.J. foyt concern. And Thar was probably so much Hype Hoisted upon this Rookie, myself included. But Kirkwood was simply a Bad Arse who completely Dominated All of the Road to Indy ladder series! Including tying J.R. Hildebrand’s U.S. F2000 and Greg Moore’s Indy Lights records for Most Wins in a season!


Thus I simply Didn’t expect this Heralded Rookie to finish last in the Rookie Of the Year battle…


8. Comeback Driver of The Year

Winner: Felix Rosenqvist

This likeable Swede’ has been on an upwards trajectory ever since that Nasty Crash on Belle Isle! Y’all know when His throttle stuck wide open unexpectedly! As couple that with a pretty lackluster season due to not being able to drive teammate Pato O’Wards setup seeing Felix finish a lowly P21 Overall, Yikes!


Yet with AMSP putting veteran Engineer Craig Hansen on His car, along with having Pato vocally insisting on keeping rosenqvist as His teammate during the entire Palou Gate Echo Chamber’s machine. And Felix just methodically putting His Head down and claiming podiums and finishing a respectable eighth Overall. I’d say Rosenqvist completely turned His season around. Whilst Hopefully next year simply won’t be a placeholder until Alex Palou finally arrives at Arrow McLaren SP in 2024…


9. “Big Boyz Pants” Award

Winner: “The Hamburger and ‘lil Spud show”

I first became enamored with Racer’s Marshall Pruett’s weekend race video segments with le Hamburgular’, nee SeaBaas’, aka Sebastien Bourdais in 2021. For which these Zany, entertaining video segments have only gotten better this year with Marshall teaming up with Rookie David Malukas. As I know I shouldn’t be so easily swayed with a Driver simply by their On Camera presence, but! The teenager’s Quirky, entertaining persona’s quickly won me over!


As I scribbled towards the end of the season, following another Brilliant! Wacky Video interview: How can you Not Root for this Guy, ‘lil spud’, aka David Malukas to be Rookie Of the Year? As this Hamburger ‘N spud’ interview following Portland Qualifying was Priceless!


10. Rookie of The Year

Winner: David Malukas

Yeah, I know that some “Comotose” Dane’ won the actual ROY trophy, But! Although I was aware of thee young Malukas due to His finishing Runner-up in the Indy Lights Championship before focusing upon His NXT move, Oh Never Mind!


David came to the forefront for Mwah at Mother Speedway, where the Hipocrits chose RoundyRound Taxicabs Ace ‘Ol JJ’ for Indianapolis’s Rookie Of the Year Honours…


As IndyCar Radio Pit Reporter Ryan Marin said it best. That Malukas was driving like some Rookie Trophy Had been Stolen! When claiming His first Fast Six Shootout appearance at Detroit’s Belle Isle immediately following the Indy 500!


And then Malukas simply Stole the Show at Gateway, when He finally ceded to Sotter Pancho Carter’s advice that the High line was the Right line! Enroute to His career best second place finish after passing ScottyMac’ at races end!


Now the $64k Questione is whether or not Malukas can continue His magic next year when He’s paired with a brand new Race Engineer at the Minnowesqe Vanna I wanna buy a vowel HMD Motorsports with Dale Coyne Racing team…