HYDROS: The 2025 Season Spools up in Earnest

Although a fifth’s of Thar season’s already over. And I feel like I need a fifth after a most disjointed weekend of trying to follow along…

 

This coming fourth ‘O July weekend sees the H1 Unlimited series contesting Thar’ second race of the 2025 season at Madison, Indiana

 

The season began nearly one month ago at the Guntersville Hydrofest, June 8th on Lake Guntersville, Alabama. With the remainder of the five events as follows: July 6th Madison Regatta at Madison, Indiana.

 

Then a three race west coast swing, including the traditional Warshington’ back-to-back “Double”, i.e.; July 27th Tri-Cities Water Follies at Kennewick on the Mighty Columbia, nee Columbia River.

 

Followed a week later on Lake Washington  August 3rd at Seattle’s Seafair, presumably replete with the legendous’ Blue Angels, unless somebody’s spent too much upon His 79th birthday’s military parade and had to cut their funding?

 

The season concludes on September 14th at Bayfair’s Mission Bay, with the Bill Muncey Cup in San Diego, CA.

 

This year’s Tri-Cities Water Follies commemorates the 60th anniversary of this event and will host this year’s prestigious APBA Gold Cup race. With the Gold Cup being the oldest American trophy, beginning with it’s 1904 inaugural event

 

Like every offseason, much movement has occurred in the top Dawgs’ Unlimited Hydroplanes fleet. As Dustin Echols has decided to retire from competition, leaving the U-40 devoid of a driver.

 

And with Sharon and Kelly Stockton, longtime owners of Bucket List Racing and the U-40’s main sponsor Flav-R-Pac moving onto the U-11’s flanks as its new primary sponsor, Y’all have to wonder the status of the U-40 Bucket List Racing Unlimited Hydroplane this season.

 

Once again, the H1 Unlimited website has suffered another compressor stall, since I couldn’t find anything on its apathetic website about the seismic shift of the competing teams landscape…

 

According to the Madison Courier, Miss Madison Racing which had gotten itself into hefty financial debt due to it’s 2018 sponsorship agreement with Home Street Bank. With the former Miss Budweiser Tukwila race shop becoming an albatross around its neck due to the hefty mortgage, has led to Miss Madison president Charlie Grooms selling the entire assets of the championship winning team! Having just won their twelfth championship last year…

Seattle’s Bruce Ratchford, the founder and proprietor of Apollo Mechanical, who not only became Seafair’s title sponsor last year. When the Apollo Mechanical Cup joined Seafair for its 75th anniversary.  Also sponsored the U-27 Miss Apollo last season. With the newly created race team stepping up with the acquisition of Miss Madison Racing’s two Unlimited Hydroplane Hulls. Along with adding the U-27 to its fleet.

 

Thus, defending APBA National High Points Drivers Champion Andrew Tate has become teammate this season with Dave Villwock. With Tate in the U-91 Miss Goodman Real Estate and Dave Villwock in the U-27 Miss Apollo for the new BWR Racing team, forming a new powerhouse race team to challenge Strong Racing…

 

Initially, I Arse-sumed BWR Racing would be run out of the former Miss Madison Tukwila race shop. Although re-reading the Madison Courier story, it notes that the entire Tukwila inventory was sold, making me wonder if the building wasn’t included?

 

As Grooms and four other Board members of Miss Madison Racing Inc have been fired over this travesty, with the immediate future of the team unknown.

 

Yet H1 Unlimited blissfully reported in February, that Miss Madison racing Inc had sold one of it’s Hulls to eric Christensen over the winter. Who’ll compete aboard the U-2 this season, driving for His newly founded Christensen Racing team. Making me wonder just how many Hulls did Miss Madison Racing own?

 

Christensen clamed they’d have the U-2 Fraternal Order of Eagles and Albert lee Appliance Hydroplane ready for May’s Spring training event on the Columbia River, but the race boat, based out of Buckley, WA didn’t appear at Guntersville. Making me wonder if this will just be another west coast partial season Hydroplane?

 

A la the U-21 Go Fast Turn Left Racing Hydroplane, that Gunnar O’Farrell dramatically flipped during testing in Pasco this May! Although the team’s confident they’ll be ready in time for the Water Follies event.

 

Meanwhile, following the sale of Miss Madison Racing’s assets to BWR Racing, the series notes that in conjunction with representatives of Marshall County Tourism and Sport, the Madison Regatta and Miss Madison Racing, the team will attempt competing in the season’s first two East coast races, i.e.; Guntersville and Madison.

 

Subsequently, Miss Madison Racing announced that rookie skipper Brandon Kennedy will be at the tiller of it’s U-6 Hydroplane, as the organization regroups and hopefully secures it’s long term future. AS I’d like to think the team can rebound and return to a full season campaign in the near future…

 

Cannot say I’m overly impressed by only six Unlimited Big Boyz’ Boats showing up at Guntersville, but think we’ve had worse. As I tend to recall some of the races having a paltry four Hulls. But with the cloud hanging over the storied Miss Madison operation right now, guess I should see this as a good thing overall.

 

Another interesting side note is that Bruce Ratchford has joined forces with Darrel Strong, owner of Strong Racing, the H1 Unlimited Hydroplane’s other two boat team owner in Hydrotown Racing Inc.

 

As Hydrotown Racing Inc was created in 2023 to promote and market the Unlimited Hydroplanes, while apparently APBA is the sport’s governing body thru its ABRA association.

 

Yet Hydrotown Racing’s got a long way to go towards marketing and promoting the sport properly! Especially if Guntersville is their media template for success…

 

Whilst opining for nine Unlimited Hydroplanes competing in the Gold Cup and Seafair this summer. I think the best will be eight Hulls, since the U-6 Miss Madison is slated to run just the first two races. Meaning it will be Strong Racing vs. BWR Racing this season jousting for the National High Points Championship titles. 

A Simple deed

The type that makes you smile on the inside…

 

Last week I went to the grocery store twice, to split up my oversized load. And both times I got to go thru my favourite Cashier’s line…

 

Dave, whose predominantly a NASCAR and NHRA fan, nonetheless have begun talking motor racing with Mwah while checking my groceries. Which I get to do very little these days. Making it especially refreshing in what is simply known as Ducks country. As in the Oregon Ducks who are our next door neighbour 50-plus miles east…

 

As I was happy to hear Dave say previously He’d watched the Indianapolis 500. Along with telling me His travails of trying to get access to NASCAR’s six race Amazon Prime segment. For which it sounds like it really shouldn’t have been that hard for Him!

 

First telling me that the account was in His widow’s name so they wouldn’t take His credit card. And then having to pay $47 for Amazon’s tech support to just tell Him His TV was too old. Before Dave figured out He could hook His computer via an HDI cable? Into the back of His TV and Walah!

 

So I’d casually asked Dave who’d won the Mexico City NASCAR race while Dave was multi-tasking and He couldn’t come up with the name at the moment, which really didn’t matter to me.

 

Naturally, I was pleasantly surprised when three days later without prompting, Dave told me that The Giz’, aka Shane Van Gisbergen had won at Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez and that a lot of people were upset about Van Gisbergen now being in the playoffs, thanks to His first win this season.

 

As I’d totally already forgotten about this, and had never bothered finding out who’d won…

 

But what really impressed me about Dave was His elaborating upon Van Gisbergen being in His words a five times Australia Supercars Champion who’s from New Zealand. And when I mentioned there was another Kiwi’ named Scott McLaughlin, Dave immediately said He’s in IndyCar’s! Before I said they’re both Bad Arses from Down Under! With Dave saying they’d come Stateside where All the money is.

 

As Dave’s longtime favourite Roundy-Round RASSCAR’ driver is Kyle Busch, who He claims is the highest paid NASCAR driver, making a ridiculous $35 million, which I have no idea if that’s true?

 

But what made me truly happy was the fact that Dave knew before I’d finished my sentence not only who ScottyMac’, nee Scott McLaughlin was, but that He was an IndyCar driver!

 

Especially since this conversation was taking place in Bumfiddle’ Florence! Three days later and that Dave had made an effort to remember to tell me the winner’s name. Since I highly doubt a “Huge” portion of our miniscule population follows IndyCar, or even knows what it is… 

Talking Trains, Not Turkeys

As No Lucas lectrics’ Jokes Here!

 

Yeah, bare with me Y’all, or indulge Mwah. Since after all it’s my Blog and I can Jolly well scribble’ whatever I want. Although I’m probably Preaching to The Choir. Or more likely Talking to The Hand! As what’s that ‘Ol Pressdog saying about Don’t Engage the Crazies George?

 

Having regaled Yuhs about my latest train adventure home, I’ve learned more than I’ve ever known about the Amtrak Cascades Express trains.

 

Whilst I can no longer recall when the first time I ever rode an Amtrak train was? Although I do recall riding home from Portland circa 1996. And then believe I started riding them Up North eh! To Vancouver, BC in the early Ought’s’. And then definitely took it once-a-year to Portland for the final three years of Champ Car at Portland International Raceway, (PIR) but I digress…

 

Was surprised that I found an immediate answer to what type locomotive the Cascades Express No. 503 train route uses. Being a Siemens SC-44 Charger. With these Diesel-electric locomotives beginning production in 2016 in Florin, California. And the first SC-44 Charger going into service on the East Coast in 2017.

 

Also learned that the SC Charger model generates it’s own Head-End Power (HEP) in it’s locomotive car. Generating the 60Hz used to create the necessary electrical demands for the passenger cars Heating/Cooling, (HVAC) lighting, WiFi’, etc. Including electrical power to individual business class seats and the Bistro/Dining car.

 

Thanks to Ray, I also learned that one week after my trip home, where the power failed on our train, albeit guessing it was the passenger cars connections. That Amtrak had to suddenly pull all of the Cascade Express railway “Sets” out of service after finding severe corrosion on the passenger cars, Say What?

 

As these Horizon passenger rail cars were built in-between 1988-90, or 1992? By a now defunct division of Bombardier, and had aluminum bodies on steel chassis, which is a recipe for corrosion.

 

Although there was one train set that wasn’t comprised of Horizon rail cars that remained in service. As this lone Cascades Express train apparently used the old Talgo rail cars? And ironically I believe it was the very same 503 route from Seattle to Eugene…

 

Full Cascades Express service was restored eleven days later, albeit with reduced rail cars comprising each train set. As rail cars were diverted from the east coast and other Amtrak routes. While the Washington State Department Of Transportation (DOT) has reportedly, already ordered eight replacement train sets from Siemens. Along with a further two SC-44 Charger locomotives.

 

These Venture rail cars are slated to be acquired this year, but not go into service until 2026. Whilst I still don’t comprehend the difference between Talgo and Horizon passenger rail cars? Other than I tend to recall that the initial Cascades Express routes began with the Talgo rail cars.

 

Now having learned that indeed the initial Amtrak Cascades Express service that began in 1998 utilized Talgo Series VI train sets, with two Series 8 sets joining in 2013. With the older Series VI sets being retired in 2020 and replaced with those corroding Horizon sets, which will inturn be replaced by the Siemens Venture “Rolling Stock” coming online shortly.

 

Whilst I just learned that Talgo is a Spanish company, and not French as I’ve always Arse-sumed, especially after riding a high-speed Talgo TGV train from Colone, Germany to Paris, France Wee-Wee! With the late-Canadian lass Clare nearly two decades ago, but I digress further…

 

Prior to my latest train excursion, I “read”, Err listened to an article on the Boseman Daily Chronicle titled Are Passenger Trains entering the Golden age, or End of the line?

 

As the article points out how the “Double Decker” passenger rail cars utilized on on the Empire Builder and Coast Starlight are Amtrak’s most used passenger cars. Racking up enough miles to circumnavigate the world seven times a year!

 

Yet these same rail cars were built during the 1970’s and 1980’s and are just one major collision away from wiping out the fleet! Although a tender was put out for new passenger rail car construction last year, as part of the Infrastructure Investments and Job Act of 2021. These cars won’t be put into circulation until the 2030’s, provided you-know-who doesn’t torpedo those plans…

 

As Amtrak was created in 1971 and has basically suffered fifty years of neglect regarding it’s rolling stock, primarily it’s passenger rail cars, due to a constant lack of investment, penny-pinching and outright slashing of funds over the decades.

 

Last year, Amtrak recorded an increase to nearly three million riders, while the Cascades Express services from Vancouver, BC to Oregon carried a stout one million riders. Which I don’t know about Y’all, but that’s a lot of cars off of the roads, freeing up the Interstate for other travelers!

 

Not to mention that everyone cannot drive a motor vehicle, like your Blind No Fenders scribe Tomaso. As have I reminded Y’all lately I’m blind?

 

Reportedly, in fiscal 2017, the Cascades Express routes, which travel 467 miles from Eugene, Oregon to Vancouver, BC, was Amtrak’s eighth busiest route.

 

Amtrak, like many Government agencies is working quite good right now, as I’d say a large portion of it’s daily delays are caused by sharing the BNSF railways and that Freight trains get priority. And privatization would only benefit whomever got the contract. Not to mention the scores of employees who’d lose their current jobs!

 

As here’s a novel idea. Instead of some Emperor wearing new clothes, whose easily distracted by shiny things. And publicly lambasting our nation’s current rail system. How about stepping up and increasing spending on this vital network of transportation that millions depend upon?

 

Hey, I know, how ‘bout we go back to steam powered locomotives, as I hear that coal’s making a comeback. As who cares about that mercury or arsenic in the air, All Aboard!

 

Yeah-Yeah, I know. The future’s so bright, Uhm where’s my Gory sun glasses, OH Never Mind! 

When the Lights go Dark on Amtrak!

Tomaso with His “service” Dog Hang-10’ Hilo waiting for the train. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

And that’s got Nothing to do with El Presidente giving this Government Agency the Midas touch!

 

Ah Matey’s, here’s another soothing lullaby about a somewhat typical, Madcap 13 hours trek homewards…

 

Not to mention Microsoft’s Office being persnickety per usual! Since no matter what I do to try changing the text below to my normal font settings, it won’t save it, Sigh!

 

Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen told me to set my talking keychain clock’s alarm for Gory 5:15AM, Crikeys!

 

Ah, the joys of Island life, as this included being early for the 6:20AM Ferry back to Ye “Mainland”. Before an El Stupidio breakfast at IHOP at 7:00AM. As the cook was incredulous when our chirpy waitress told Himn my order. As I ended up paying $15.43 for a plain egg breakfast Burrito; asking to “Hold” the bacon, ham and Snazzauges’ I Don’t eat following my Heart surgery…

 

As I highly doubt we’ll ever do that again, especially since it took 40mins! Before scurrying to the nearby train station where I barely had time to use the Loo’ before boarding the 8:00AM Cascades Express train to Eugene. With the train being early and leaving at 8:00AM sharp from the Tacoma train station, all Aboard!

 

Suppose I should have known something was up, Eh? Since I swear there was zero Heat turned on from Tacoma to Portland, albeit we “flew” south to Portland in 2Hrs 45mins, including four stops in-between.

 

Whilst I’m glad I’ve long since figured out where the bathroom door’s lock is, since twice people tried opening the door as we sat for an half hour in Portland. Making me flash-back to the first time I’d ever ridden this type of train and not knowng how to lock the door, Surprise! As the door opened upon Mwah in the middle of you know what when headed to Vancouver, BC decades ago, but I digress…

 

Yet strangely, when I tried calling Mary Ellen on my cell phone twice whilst parked in Portland I couldn’t dial out or get Her number to ring, WTF? As this was an apparent sign of things to come…

 

Approaching Oregon City, OR, our Conductor made the first of multiple announcements, telling us that our train was currently experiencing electrical maladies – including no WiFi’ or HVAC, i.e.; Heating/Cooling, or power to the business class seats. Although it smelled like dust burning briefly when waiting at Portland, when I finally felt heat coming up from the heat register alongside my seat…

 

Following Oregon city, the Conductor announced that the train was just running on electricity; that’s what I believe He said. Although I did Arse-sume correctly that it was a Diesel Electric locomotive pulling us…

 

Saying they’d troubleshooted everything possible to no avail, i.e.; Fuse breakers, Computer reboot, etc. And were going to try one more outside train fix at our next stop in Salem, whatever that meant?

 

Arriving at Salem sometime before 12:28PM; time of the first of two emails sitting in my Inbox when I got home that evening, alerting me of our train issues, Uh Duh!

 

Our Conductor said we’d be staying put there until receiving permission to proceed. Since we didn’t wish to become stranded somewhere between Salem and Eugene with no pick-up possible, like Marion. And He’d give us further updates when

Possible, with Management working on Plan B, whatever that was?

 

Telling us we were allowed to leave the train to stretch our legs if desired, but should remain nearby the train. And then the female Café worker told us She’d put out complimentary water and snack packs for us. While those remaining seated around me “Cheered” when the lights went on. With somebody said whatever they’d wiggled, worked! Meaning I’d had no idea we’d been riding in the Dark for awhile, Hya! Or if this was a momentary fix?

 

After a half hour’s plus of sitting on the train, (sometime after 1:05PM) our Conductor made an announcement I’ve never experienced before in all my decades of riding Amtrak. Announcing that our train had now been Cancelled and would be going no further than Salem! Due to electrical Gremlins, two stops north of our final destination Eugene.

 

Our Conductor said He’d be passing thru the train to take a roll call of those remaining and that a bus was on it’s way to transport us to our final destination in 20-25mins.

 

Then the same female Café worker made a further announcement saying we could take whatever food we wanted from the Diner Car since it would have to be thrown away that evening. But this didn’t include any Alcohol…

 

The Conductor who handled the whole procedure remarkably well in a calm, firm but polite manner told me that yes, I’d make my Link Lane Shuttlebus connection from Eugene to Florence before escorting me off the train and into the adjacent Salem train station.

 

Then another Amtrak employee escorted me outside to stand against a concrete wall to line-up for boarding the soon arriving bus.

 

Next a friendly female employee asked for everybody to wait to allow the visually impaired rider to board first. As She guided me up the bus’s multiple steps and into a front row seat. Before our bus filled up and off we went on the Highway south to Albany and then finally Eugene, arriving at 3:12PM approx. Or roughly an hour and one-half after our trains scheduled arrival. With the bus ride taking approx. 1Hr 45mins…

 

Did the ‘Ol college try at the train’s ‘lil Boys room before another friendly female Amtrak agent escorted me outside. Taking my suitcase for Mwah, and placing me underneath the building’s overhang to be out of the rain while waiting approx. 20mins for the Shuttlebus to arrive.

 

Then the man standing to my right with His wife offered to load my suitcase aboard the Shuttlebus. While it’s driver, the famous Jethro’ sat motionless, didn’t budge a muscle or even call out the Shuttle to me! Presumably the only Blind person who utilizes it? Although perhaps He thought I was traveling with the others?

 

This kind man also helped me aboard, with His wife directing me to an empty seat, while He told Jethro He had one more bag to load…

 

And then this same, kind, Good Samaritan repeated the process for me when we arrived at our destination in Bumfuddle’ Florence, where I awaited the local taxi to pick me up and complete the day’s arduous journey!

 

Amtrak subsequently sent us an email apology for any inconvenience. And then sent us a travel voucher for a future train trip , which I didn’t even ask for. Since All I’d cared about was catching the day’s final Shuttle which I did; so No Harm, No Foul as far as I was concerned…

 

And we didn’t even get delayed or detoured when riding the Shuttlebus. Even though we did pass a car that had crashed into a roadside ditch on our way home!

 

As that’s another typical adventure for Mwah, which it amazes me that I always make All of my connections and get back home with the assistance of kind strangers. As I really enjoy riding the train, and dearly Hope there won’t be any Staff reductions or loss of service in the future! 

No Fenders Boxing Day Holidazes Tradition continues

A not so subtle Barrage Balloon being inflated on the Eastern Front. (The Tomaso Collection)

 

Apparently Ye Red Baron Done Shot Up this No Fenders Post, ack-Ack-Ack-Ack-Ack-Ack!

 

“Everybody Knows A Turkey and some Missletoe

Helps to Keep the Season Bright!”

 

Although neither Snoopy or thou Red Baron will be taking Off today. Since it feels Nippy enough for another very rare arrival of Snow here in Bumfiddle’ Florence, which is a rarity due to our proximity to Sea level Ho Ho Ho!

 

As little did I, or cadres ‘O it’s loyallisteners then knew. That the day after Veterans Day 2022, would be the final time that  Cool FM, Eugene’s 99.1FM Radio Station. Which None of us can pick up anymore on Ye Oregon Coast via Florence’s Transmitter. When it’s Not Foggy, Raining, Hailing out and you’re holding your Elboz’ just right, Oh Never Mind!

 

Would Began Thar final, yearly, multi-weeks Holiday Programming of playing Nonstop round Ye clock 24/7 Nothing but Ack Ack Ack Christmas Songs Barrage goes thru New Years.

 

At first I couldn’t figure out why they went off the Air for weeks in February? Before one day they returned to the Airwaves as The Beat! Playing Hideous 1990-2000’s Teeny-bopper’ Rap ‘n Hip Hop music, WTF! A far cry from what I enjoyed listening to on their radio station for nearly five years!

 

As this is a really crappy way of telling me I’m a Dinosaur, and my Age Demographic Don’t matter to Yuhs G-Damn Advertisers! Although News Flash, I refuse to listen to your new format Bastardoes!

 

I actually enjoyed this yearly tradition, since it was the only time ‘O year Yuhs could Hear such Classics as John Lennon’s so this is Christmas, which is definitely my Numero Uno X-Mas Song!

 

Along with The Beach Boys ‘lil Saint Nick “run run Reindeer” song. Or I want A Hippopotamus for Christmas. Alvin and The Chipmunks, chuck Berry’s run run Rudolf, You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch along with other various Classics like Bing Crosby and David Bowies Peace On Earth-Little Drummer Boy Duet et Al.

 

Not to mention I would always hear some Vintage Christmas song I hadn’t heard before. As a few years ago I spent several weeks trying to figure out that it was The Carpenters singing Sleigh ride from their 1978 Album Christmas Portrait, but I digress…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLoOVmPxJo0

 

Whilst I most definitely got a Smile on my face when hearing for the very first time ever during the winter of 2021, The Ballad of Snoopy’s Yuletide Dogfight!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh-J4GSPgAM

 

As the song is by The Royal Guardsmen, a Florida Rock Band who later became known as the “Snoopy Band!” As their Snoopy Christmas song was recorded in 1966. With the song reaching No. 2 on the billboard Hot 100 and was certified Gold in early ’67.

 

Funniest bit ‘O trivia is the Band recorded the song without Charles Schulz’s initial permission. So their record label Up North Eh! In Ye Great White North of Oh Kanaduh’ refused to release it due to potential legal issues Stateside with Messer Schulz.

 

So the Band put out a very blatant re-issue called Squeaky ant The Black Knight Up North Eh! Which also became popular in Ye Frozen Tundra before Schulz gave his permission for the song.

 

Hence, naturally I got a Wild Hair to “See” if I could find said Squeaky and The Black Knight Great White North “Import” version, for which I was super Surprised that it came up almost immediately, Ja Volt!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioGBIKfKXWI

 

And although Snoopy, Woodstock and Ye Red Baron All lived to Fight Another Gory Day, Ho Ho Ho! Unfortunately that Damn Baron Von Richthofen done Destroyed a perfectly good working radio station, meaning Thar won’t be no round thee clock Christmas music to listen to this year upon thoust Mystical Isle of NoFendersville…

 

Since after All, It used to be  the “Most Wonderful Time of The Year,” SPEW! Now, does anybody know where I can buy a Turkey? Or how Much this Damn Bird Weighs? Ho Ho Ho…

 

Hey BJ “Raindrops are Falling” Thomas! Play me my new favourite Sing-along song. Yuhs know about Somebody doin’ Somebody wrong…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDXW_WglzOI

 

Happy boxing Day, Yall!

 

Image C/O No Fenders Offical’ Photographer CARPETS’ 

A Foreign World Bubbles to the Surface

Where ‘Ol Flatliners’ become Cashiers…

 

Once again, its another late to thee party entry here upon No Fenders. But Y’all try Back-timing everything you wish to scribble about. Not to mention keep pushing back in order to post other riveting No Fenders stories…

 

As sometime just over a month ago now Me Thinks, I was in the grocery checkout line with my favourite cashier Dave. Nope, No Dave’s Not Here Jokes today Folks, Hya!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtDAK7Umk7A

 

As Dave scanned my groceries and I asked Him how He was. He said He was great and had spent the weekend watching NASCAR and NHRA races. As I had no idea that Dave was a racing fan…

 

This launched Him down multiple Wabbit’ Holes, telling me All about John Force Racing’s current exploits. Musing how All “The Kid”, Austin Prock needed to do was show up at Pomona to win His first NHRA championship! Saying how Robert Height had a medical issue causing Him to leave the cockpit. And John force had to go ‘n Blow Up His racecar and crash into a barrier…

 

As if was fun hearing Dave effuse over how good Austin Prock is. Learning afterwards how amazing Prock was during His rookie season! Having won eight races, three runner-up finishes and a record 15 top qualifier awards. Surpassing His Boss John Force’s record enroute to His first Floppers’, NHRA top Fuel Funny Car championship.

 

Although Prock lost to teammate Jack Beckman in the Pomona finals, the pair of John force Racing (JFR) drivers finished 1-2 in the championship.

 

Dave then mentioned how He’d grown up at Lions Drag Strip, a venue I’d never heard of before. Which after some perfunctory research on Al gore’s All knowing wonderous machine, where I didn’t even trip the start light, How-How-How…

 

I discovered that Lions Drag Strip was in the Wilmington, a Los Angeles suburb nearby Long Beach, California.

 

The track was operational between 1955 to 1972. Yet had opened under a 30-day notice clause that could be enforced at any time. And with the area’s population increasing, residents complained about the noise and the notice was given in November of 1972. As the Los Angeles Harbour Authority tore down the dragstrip, which then sat vacant for a further ten years before being turned into today’s Mega-Container facility for overseas shipping.

 

As I’m familiar with this nationwide phenomenon. Since this is what many new residents living nearby Pacific Raceways, albeit better known to Mwah as Seattle International Raceways in Kent, Washington complain about. As I witnessed this first hand back in the 1990’s, even though the track opened in 1960 when there was nothing surrounding it!

 

Reportedly Lions Drag Strip hosted numerous American Hot Rod Association (AHRA) events, and Dave told me that He raced Competition Eliminator in 1971, Say What? As I’m still trying to figure out how old Dave is?

 

Having just learned that Competition eliminator is made up of multiple classes, which anybody can compete in their personal vehicle. And is basically Head-to-Head knockout competition with handicapped sliding scale timing to create close competition. As a Honda four cylinder Hatchback would be given a healthy start-line (time) advantage vs. a Dodge Hemi V-8 Charger.

 

Dave also said He’d raced briefly at Pomona, which arguably is the Mack Daddy ‘O Drag Strips in California. Which when I told Dave that the Irwindale Speedway and Event Center was closing this December. Dave said that Pomona, which is called the In ‘n Out Pomona Drag Strip will be the only Drag racing facility in the area.

 

Showing off my prowess in the world of Drag Racing. I was thinking for sure there was somebody else named Austin who worked as John force’s crew chief forever, after hearing the name Austin Prock. And that Prock name sounded familiar to Mwah for reasons unknown…

 

Having just re-learned it was Austin coil’s, whose ironically being inducted into this year’s motorsports Hall of Fame. Along with several more luminary figures. With Scott Dixon, Jimmie Johnson, Paul Newman and John Surtees just to name some of this year’s class honouree’s.

 

https://johnforceracing.com/blog/force-honors-austin-coils-induction-into-motorsports-hall-of-fame-of-america/

 

And then perhaps some of you are way ahead of me? When learning that Jimmy Krock, Austin’s father initially worked a fourteen year stint as a Crew Chief at John force Racing. And won the 2013 Funny Car title with John force! Before returning to JFR in 2017. Winning two more Funny Car titles with Robert Height, before winning this year’s title as His son’s Crew Chief. With His son Thomas Prock, who’s an engineer also working on the Prock Camaro Funny car, making it a family affair! After Austin Prock replaced Robert Height this year after His medical issue, as previously mentioned… 

The Tomaso Files: Everything but “Thee Plane, Thee Plane Boss!”

“Wild ‘n Crazy” Tomaso driving across the Olympic Peninsula! (The Tomaso Collection)

 

As the late Rodney King said: “Can’t we All just Get Along?”

 

Yeah, I realize this is another long winded No Fenders story. Which is intended to highlight just some of the difficulties of being Blind and traveling alone. For which I couldn’t complete without the countless good Samaritans who take pity on me!

 

Whilst it would run well into double digit pages if I detailed everything, like how no two single bathrooms are alike! Not to mention trying to figure out if they’re occupied while walking to/from my seat on a moving train! And where’s the electrical sensor to open the train’s car doors, etc. All aboard…

 

As typical, I awoke Uber’ early in order to be prepared to start the day’s Mega’ long journey!

 

The local taxi, with the company’s amiable owner Josh knocked on my door promptly @8:30AM meaning I was almost an hour early for the Shuttle Bus, Aye Karumba!

 

After waiting patiently forever, the Shuttle Bus, a super loud Diesel affair sat loudly idling across the road from the Bus Stop. As I struggled to get there in-time. As the Jerkwad’ Bus driver lamely bellowed out Eugene? When He saw me struggling to catch the bus. Even though I was wearing my Eugene Amtrak sign, Sheisa!

 

As it’s a custom cardboard sign that Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen made for me. With the word Eugene spelled out in large black  letters, fashioned out of electrical tape. With the world Amtrak Station in black marker below it. Which I wear around my neck like a Blind man selling pencils!

 

As this has to be the most humiliating portion of the trip for Mwah! Especially since I shouldn’t be required to “stoop” so low for a government funded service! Although naturally, it’s been outsourced to a private contractor…

 

But thanks to two good Samaritans, I made the first of two connections, with the second person even putting down the jump seat for Mwah! Before listening to two women and one elderly man talking Spanish much of our trip, which has such a pleasing tonal quality to it! Before the Bus driver bellowed No eating food on the bus at them…

 

As little did I know one of these Mexican women would come to my aid unprompted at Eugene, where the bus trip dead ends! Since the Bus driver just sat on His lazy lard Arse , before saying what I’ve never wanted to hear in person!

 

Telling them He didn’t speak their language, only English! Which immediately made me cringe upon hearing this…

 

As I’d been waiting patiently for everyone to exit the bus first, with these three passengers going last before I stood up. With the elderly man dropping His phone or something, which I clearly heard. Hey, Blind people have super powers, comprened?

 

Waiting patiently for Him to retrieve whatever He’d dropped and then exit. Before I knew it, the woman came back onto the bus and said train, Ci? Taking my suitcase before helping me down the bus’s four stairs. As the bus driver just sat there the whole time, before snarkily saying Choo-Choo? Take Him with you to Choo-Choo. Treating Her like She was a Child, Yuck!

 

She simply took my arm and walked me inside to the train station counter, pulling my suitcase along without saying a further word before disappearing. After I quickly said Gracias to Her, since Her totally unsolicited help was simply Freakin’ Amazing!

 

Next Harly, the Eugene Station Agent checked my bag and said He’d assist me onto the train when it arrived, after first escorting me to the men’s bathroom. Telling me it was not arriving until 1:20PM – almost one hour late. As the train would ultimately be 75mins late arriving, which is pretty good coming from LA.

 

Harley walked me outside as promised and assisted me All the way to my seat. Before the woman I’d heard behind me in line saying Tacoma sat down next to me.

 

Naturally we got stuck between Portland and Vancouver, WA for one hour due to a Freight train delay. As this is supposed to only be 18mins duration. Although All freight train traffic has priority, Choo-Choo!

 

We finally arrived in Tacoma @8PM, approx. 90mins late. Where fortunately Mary Ellen was waiting for me on the platform, since the train conductor failed to assist me exiting the train. Whilst Hang 10’ Hilo was ecstatic as typical to see me when I got inside our awaiting chariot to be whisked away to the day’s final destination.

 

After having a great lunch outing with Thy No Fenders Moniker King Randal and His lovely wife Ginnette. We packed our belongings and made the first of multiple trips across the Puget Sound aboard the Washington State ferry’s. (WSF) With our destination being thee ‘Ol Apple Orchard on Vashon Island.

 

Taking another Ferryboat off island, we proceeded north to what the locals call PA’, aka Port Angeles for a very enjoyable Labour Day weekend’s get-away at Dave & Patricia’s.

 

Road in Dave’s; Dave, Dave’s Not Here, Oh Never Mind! Vintage 1974 VW Camper Van again. As Patricia wanted to go for a “Moonlight Drive”. With my taking so long getting ready, Dave turned off His Bus.

 

Mary Ellen cheekily said that the Bus had gone into silent electric mode when I finally came out to get aboard. Before Dave restarted the air cooled four cylinder (petrol) Bus and we trundled over the lumpy “pasture” Before their dog Odie jumped out when stopping somewhere. With Dave giving chase to Odie, who’d thought it was great fun playing “chase”. As we rumbled thru his fields appropriately with The Doors Light My Fire playing loudly, which seemed totally Apropos! And sounded great on Dave’s Killer sound system!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq8k-ZbsXDI

 

 

 

Following breakfast on our day’s final outing in PA’. Thanks to Patricia’s insistence, I did the unthinkable. I drove their riding lawnmower, which was the Highlight of the entire trip!

 

It was the first “vehicle” of any kind I’d driven in at least ten years I’m guessing? Since I’d totally forgotten the last vehicle I’d driven was a golf cart in Arizona, during 18 holes of golf when I chauffeured Artiste Dave…

 

The “other” Dave served as my “Sighted Guide” running alongside Mwah, telling me which way to steer the lawnmower which He’s removed the brakes from! Having me turn right, then left; now straighten Her out. As I mosied around in low gear over the lumpy pasture. And nope, I didn’t make any crop circles, Hya!

 

Then it was rinse, lather and repeat. With another two Ferryboat trips, including one being delayed some 30-plus minutes for the rescue boat getting stranded retrieving a crew person or something? Before it was time to reluctantly go home, Sigh!

 

As the six hours train ride home was it’s typical cacophony ‘O noises. Ranging from the young girl besides me who talked loud, had tantrums and sang the entire trip! Along with the Young Turk’, ErrMillenium having a meltdown over Amtrak being late. And vocally telling the entire car how they’d better refund His $17 for missing work, Say What?

 

And then Oh Goodie, guess who was driving the Shuttle Bus, Honk-Honk! Yeah, I’m 98% certain it was that same, horrible lead Arse’. Since I got to hear all about what foods He’d be eating on His upcoming vacation to Iowa and Chicago… 

RETRO: Portland celebrates 40th Anniversary of it’s Debutante IndyCar race

As what’s that ‘Ol Grateful Dead song ‘bout How it’s been A long Strange trip indeed…

 

Yesterday’s Bitnile.com Grand Prix of Portland, try saying that fast five times! At Portland International Raceway (PIR) marked forty years since ‘lil Al, aka Al Unser Jr. won His maiden IndyCar race in the Rose City in that year’s inaugural Stroh’s/G.I. Joes 200. Winning Aboard His Galles Racing’s March 84C Cosworth.

 

As the venue has had a litany of title sponsors over the past four decades, most notably for Mwah being the Budweiser/G.I. Joes 200 during my yearly treks to Portland over Fathers Day weekend…

 

And Instead of trying to rehash the past which I’ve done previously. As can it already be 15 years since I scribbled about Portland’s Centennial here upon No Fenders, Yikes! And thus I won’t try remounting any “Flintstone” tyres here, Hya!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2009/06/portlands-centennial.html

 

Having attended 19 of those initial 24 events, beginning in 1987 thru 2007. Prior to IndyCar returning after a Gory ten year’s absence in 2018! Obviously I saw a Heckabunch ‘O racing Thar, including the likes of El Zorro’, aka Alex Zanardi, Mark Blundell, Max Papis and A.J. Allmendinger All win their debutante IndyCar races there! Where Also Al Unser Jr. did so with that ’84 Portland victory.

 

Having attended my latest IndyCar event in 2022, when ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin was untouchable – leading 104 of 110 laps! When it was blistering Hot and I understand the reason why. But still I was a little bit sad knowing that my yearly West End Grandstand had been long removed and turned into RV Camping instead…

 

Thus I’ll try reminiscing about Portland’s 40 years in a different tack. As it seems tedious to recall every winner to date. Not to mention what traditionally was the Kershaw knives Pole winner’s award…

 

Looking back to the final Chump Carz’, Err Champ Car World Series (CCWS) event held on June 10, 2007. Thars’ a total of three drivers from that race still on today’s IndyCar grid.

 

The most “famous” of this trio would be none other than William Steven Power. Whom presumably hasn’t given ScottyMac’ any more love taps since Toronto, Eh?

 

DJ Willy P’ (Age 43)  was in His sophomore Champ Car season with Derrick Walker’s Team Australia that year, driving the team’s No. 5 Aussie Vineyards entry, finishing fourth. Paired with another future Indianapolis 500 winner known here upon No Fenders as Symone’ or Pagentry’, aka Simon Pagenaud.

 

While Power finished a lowly P19 in His Rose City debut the year before, also for Team Australia, classified as being 13 laps down.

 

Although only one of Power’s 43 IndyCar wins has come at Portland in 2019, where He’s scored more than one of His All-time career leading 70 Poles.

 

Graham Rahal, now age 35, was an 18 year old teenager when making His first start at Portland in 2007. Driving for Newman Haas Racing, the rookie IndyCar driver finished ninth on debut at Portland.

 

Katherine Legge who celebrated Her 44th birthday in the Mid-Ohio paddock on Friday’s first practice, complete with birthday cake! Was making Her second start for Dale Coyne Racing. Finishing dead last – P17 due to a mechanical failure.

 

Whilst Thy Leggy Juan’ finished P13 at Portland for PKV Racing during Her rookie season in Champ Car in 2006.

 

One other current IndyCar driver participated in two Portland CART events prior to the ’07 Finale, can Y’all guess who that was?

 

Scott Dixon who turned 44 this July, made His IndyCar debut in 2001 for the local PacWest Racing team. Finishing fourth as a rookie in Portland. Then the following year driving for Target Chip Ganassi Racing (CGR) finished seventh, before CGR migrated to the Dark Side, ergo Indy Racing League for ’03.

 

Also from my initial perusal of the 2007 Mazda Cham Car Grand Prix of Portland, where a total of 17 drivers lined up in spec Panoz DP01 2.65-litre turbocharged Cosworth XFE’s for Champ Car’s first and only standing start. I reckon there’s a further four Alumni still racing today…

 

Obviously the most prominent of these would be none other than le Hamburgular’, SealmeisterB’ or SeaBass, ergo Four-times Champ Car Champion Sebastien Bourdais, having won a total of 37 IndyCar victories. Now age 45, Bourdais competes fulltime for Chip Ganassi Racing’s IMSA GTP factory Cadillac operation.

 

As Bourdais is responsible for winning half of Newman Haas Racing’s eight Championship titles. And ironically His win at the ’07 Portland Champ Car race was Newman Haas Racing’s 100th victory.

 

Neel Jani, age 40 driving for PKV Racing and finishing 12th at Portland has moved onto a long, successful European Sports Car career. Having won the 2016 24 Huers du Mans for Porsche. And currently competes in the FIA World Endurance Championship for Porsche Penske Motorsport as a Werks’ driver.

 

Jan Heylen, better known here upon No Fenders as Jan Van Hagar Heylen, (Age 44) contested the 2006 Grand Prix of Portland for Dale Coyne Racing and finished P15. The following year He drove for Conquest Racing and finished 15th again. And now races for Wright Motorsports in IMSA’s GT Daytona (GTD) category. Having raced for the team for the past ten years. Having won the 2020 12 Hours of Sebring GTD Class and the prestigious Porsche Cup.

 

Ryan “Razzle Dazzle” Dalziel whose now 42yrs young, drove for the short lived Pacific Coast Motorsports team and finished P14. Dalziel has gone onto a long successful Sports Car career and currently competes for ERA Motorsports in IMSA’s LMP2 category.

 

Meanwhile, reigning IndyCar Champion Alex Palou has a good chance at tying Mikey a’ and ‘lil Al for most wins at Portland at three apiece. As Michael Andretti claimed a Hat trick of W’s between 1990-92 for Newman Haas Racing. Who have the most wins for teams currently.

 

Al Unser Jr. won in 1984 and then 1994-95, the latter two for Team Penske, including Penske sweeping the podium in ’94 with EMMO’, aka Emerson Fittipaldi and Paul Tracy joining Unser on the podium. When Marlboro Team Penske won a staggering 12 of 16 races that season! Unser taking eight enroute to the Championship, Tracy three and Fittipaldi one.

 

Naturally Team Penske, most notably in it’s Bad Habits’ (Marlboro) red & white colours, Chip Ganassi Racing, Dale Coyne Racing, A.J. foyt enterprises, whom I also saw ‘Ol superTex’ running at the tail end in His Copenhagen racecar. Not to mention Rocket rick Mears in the original Yellow Submarine. And lastly Bobby Rahal, whose team then was simply known as Team Rahal were All present at Portland over the years prior to Portland being unceremoniously dropped from IndyCar’s calendar for ten years…

 

Whilst who knows how many teams came ‘n went during Portland’s heydays between 1984-2007? Like Bobby Rahal winning for Truesports, Kraco Racing, Doug shierson Racing, etc.

 

While surprisingly, Portland is one of the very few tracks that Scott Dixon has never previously     won at.