Thursday, May 23, 2019

INDY 500: Can Any of These Underdogs' pull A Wabbit' outta Thar Firesuits for an Upset W' over Thee Big Dawgs?

A Beaming Conor Daly, now Driving for Andretti Autosport claimed P1 on Fast Friday with a speed of 231.704mph is joined by a not so jubilant Gil de Feran and Fernando Alonso, now running their own Works McLaren Racing Programme. (Image source:
Although Conor Daly at thoust proverbial Powerhouse Andretti Autosport, winner's of 3 of the past 5 events shouldn't exactly be an Underdog, should he?

Otay motor racing Fans, welcome to Thee No Fenders second annual "Award Winning" Indy 500 One Offers' preview, which this year sees eight teams fielding a total of Nine cars to round out a fairly stout 36 Contendahs' for the 103rd Indianapolis 500. Seeing an increase of one entrant vs. last year's tally of 35, when Pippa Mann and James Hinchcliffe failed to qualify.

And due to their running earlier at Circuit Of The Americas, (COTA) and possibly a few more events this year? Certainly Laguna Seca? I'm not categorizing Juncos Racing as a "One Offer" for Indy, even if that's what they're beginning to look like this year...

(Team/engine/Car #/Driver(
Andretti Autosport
Engine: Honda
#25. Conor Daly, USA
First Race: 2013
Starts: 6

Sadly, like many drivers who go to A.J. Foyt enterprises, it becomes an IndyCar career Killer, for which seemingly sapped Conor Daly's Open Wheel Racing career.

As Conor's been bounced from two IndyCar teams now, first losing his Dale Coyne Racing ride after the 2016 season, then being Dumped from Foyt following his dismal 2017 campaign.

Whilst unfortunately, when I think of Conor, who was my former Numero Uno IndyCar Driver until losing his Fulltime ride in 2018.

Will forever be thou irony of chauffeuring the Smithfield Foods "fueld by Bacon" Special , whilst driving the iconic #43 for Schmidt Peterson Motorsports during his second outing at Mother Speedway. When the car Done Caught On Fire during the Parade lap; YOUCH!

Nah Folks, N-O "Fueled by Bacon" Grease Fire Jokes Here!

Interestingly, Conor's best finish at Thee Brickyard to date, since Obviously, SNAP! He's expecting a big improvement this year, by stepping up into a Platinum ride with Mikey A',

Was last year's mostly unnoticed finish of 21st after starting Dead last for the Minnowesqe Dale Coyne Racing concern! Partnering with longtime Indy 500 car sponsor Tom Burns, who previously joined forces with Lazier Partners Racing to form Lazier Burns Racing in 2016.

As Daly's previous Indianapolis 500 career best finish was P22 during his rookie outing for 'Ol SuperTex', (A.J. Foyt) along with finishing last in 2015 and finishes of 29th & 30th from 2016-17 respectively being nothin' to write home about.

And whilst I'm happy for Conor to once again be racing in a competitive ride at Mother Speedway, unfortunately I simply cannot get too excited about his draping the Flag round himself and racing for the Military this May...

Even if Y'all cannot find yourself enjoying his ah Shucks' Demeanour. Not to mention getting a Raw Dealio from Eli-Lilly last year, when wrongly pulling their Sponsorship from him, regarding his Father Derek's controversial Firing...

Clauson-Marshall  Racing
Engine: Chevrolet
#39. Pippa Mann, UK
First Race: 2011
(Last Race: 2017)
Starts: 7

Pippa Mann, who'd become a fixture at Dale Coyne Racing for the Month of May for the majority of her Indianapolis 500 career, has moved to a brand new team this year, in hopes of rebounding from last year's agony of failing to Qualify

Previously, Pippa had been steadily improving each year since her worst finish of 30th in 2013, before last year's setback. With her past two Indy 500 starts netting finishes of 18th & 17th respectively.

And while we're all accustomed to seeing Pippa sporting the colour Pink, she changed hues last year with her then new sponsor. And now will attempt making the stout field with the never raced before Clauson-Marshall racing concern - Sporting the No. 39 in honour of the late Brian Clauson.

As the team's comprised of Tim Clauson, Brian's father and co-owner Richard Marshall, longtime sponsor of Brian's. Although I fear this team is on a shoe-string Budget and will be hard pressed to make the Show, which I noted previously on No Fenders prior to Qualifying.

As Congratulations to Clauson-Marshall Racing and Pippa Mann for triumphantly locking their selves into Thee Show, by Qualifying 30th on Saturday's Pole Day activities, since I certainly didn't think they'd make the race this year...

Dale Coyne with Byrd-Hollinger-Belardi
Engine: Honda
#33. James Davison, Australia
First Race: 2014
Starts: 5

Dale Coyne and his Alphabet Soup Brigade once again returns to Mother Speedway with one of his multi-car entries being in conjunction with Jonathan Byrd's Racing, Hollinger Motorsports and Belardi Auto Racing this May.

With the trio effectively  switching Thar allegiance from A.J. Foyt Enterprises to DCR this year, after campaigning the No. 33 entry with James Davison at the Keyboard of Foyt's Dallara-Chevrolet.

Whilst still not exactly sure why, perhaps it's his "Aussie Grit?" That finds Mwah always Rootin' for this underrated Aussie', even if he seemingly got lambasted last year for running Tail-gunner Charlie, before getting into Taku-san's, nee Takuma Sato's way.

As Davison's previously driven for Dale Coin Racing, in what will now be his third time at Mother Speedway. Most notably when filling in for le Hamburgular', nee Sealmeister B', aka SeaBass' or commonly known here in Nofendersville as Sebastain Bourdais. After the frenchman's Uber Nasty shunt during 2017's Indianapolis 500 Qualifying!

Davison has a decade's-plus association with Indy Cars, having contested the 2008 Firestone Indy Lights season for Sam Schmidt Motorsports before finishing runner-up to 2009 Indy Lights Champion J.R. Hildebrand, driving for lil Napoleon, or simply TG', aka Tony George's Brand New Vision Racing team.

and my 'Ol Memory recalls that James took the number 33 for his rookie outing at Mother Speedway in 2014 for KV Racing Technology,  in deference to being the 33rd and final Indy 500 entry that year. When he finished 16th, his best Indy 500 finish to date.

For the other One Off Drivers in this year's Indy 500 field racing for Dreyer & Reinbold Racing and McLaren Racing, see; INDY 500: An International Star plans upon Outshining the rest of the One Offers' this May

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Niki Lauda crosses Finish line at Age 70

And another chapter of McLaren International closes...

Know Thars' absolutely No Co-Inky-dense', but for some strange reason, when I heard the news late Monday night that Niki Lauda had taken his last breath. And on the heels of Fernando Alonso failing to qualify at Indianapolis. Weirdly I heard the soundtrack to Maxwell Smart's opening theme when the Doors Slam Shut behind him...

As many racing Fans will know of Niki "the Rat" Lauda's life in Formula 1 from that brilliant 'lil Ronnie Howard 2013 movie simply titled RUSH. Recounting the epic Duel for the 1976 F1 World Championship vs. James Hunt.

Whilst Lauda would ultimately claim the Formula 1 World Championship three times, twice for Ferrari in 1975 & 1977, and then winning by a scant half-point over rival McLaren team-mate "The Professor," aka Alain Prost in '84.

Yet Niki was also a Businessman who started at least two Airlines in-between his motor racing stints, before having Lung transplant surgery last year. Certainly a bi-product of his Horrendous, near Fatal Fiery Crash at the Nurburgring in the summer of '76...

As I'll let F1 Grizzled Journo' Joe Saward do the Heavy lifting recapping Niki's accomplishments...

Monday, May 20, 2019


Guaranteed Fat Catz' Starting Grid spots or Guaranteed Gut Wrenching Drama... What's it gonna be Hulman & Co?

Funny how I found Thyself almost going ADHD with Thy Telie' turned onto Thee Peacock', nee NBC in the Living Room, Zed Internetz' tuned-into 1070 The Fan in thou Office playing in the background whilst "My Gal" Lucy', my ARSE-Steamed Screen Reader read me two Live Blogs from Mother Speedway I kept refreshing constantly!

All-the-while marching back 'n forth from room to room for Four and One-half Hours. Trying insanely to discover the most current, up to thoust moment information on whether or not Thee Weather, nee Mother Nature was gonna cooperate 'N let us have our Bump Day, Uhm LCQ'; Err Last Row Shootout and Top-9 Pole Shootout commence Sunday?

And although I'm happy for "Symone," nee Pageantry', aka Simon Pagenaud capturing the Biggest IndyCar Pole of his career... Pagenaud's accomplishment totally Paled in Comparison to Juncos Racing and Kyle Kiser's epic Slaying of McLaren Racing and the Oh, So smooth Operator Fredrico Suave', aka Fred Alonso!

As I had four sets 'o fingers crossed, chanting Kyle-Kyle-Kyle! Before the 23yr old Californian even began his warm-up lap, as I simply did Not wish to see Fernando Alonso make his way into Thee Show!

Even more so after the Talkin' Headz' NBC Sports Network Booth Boyz reported that McLaren had received a Set-up Sheet from Team Penske and acquired a Dampers' package, what us Yanks' call Shocks from Andretti Applied Technology.

As this totally became a clear case of the Upper Crust, Pardon Mwah Gray Poupon Chauffer's, Butler's and Nannies Elitists vs. the tiny One Man David 'O Juncos Racing...

Which for Mwah, and hopefully more important thou Powers to Be, aka Starship HC', nee Hulman & Company. Do you really wish to lose this intangible commodity, the buzz of the unexpected Upset at 16th & Georgetown just so the Fat Catz' can keep Thar Gentlemen's club intact?

Or are Yuhs gonna stick to the time Honoured 110-years tradition of the Fastest 33 Cars Start the Race instead?

Which is Game Over for Me! Especially if you have the might & resources of a McLaren and are Beaten Fairly by a Minnow who's built a Better Mousetrap, Uhm, Out-engineered and Out-performed Yuhs, then they Deserve to be in the Race! Especially when You make five qualifying attempts in one day vs. their limited attempts.

As Congratulations to Ricardo Juncos, Kyle Kiser and Everybody else at Juncos Racing who made me euphorically SCREAM Exaltations at thou TV Screen for making the Indianapolis 500! You totally Deserve it!

As I totally LUV' the quote in Marshall Pruett's story 'bout how Ricardo Juncos sent everybody home after working 42 Hours Straight to get some Sleep, since he knew they were gonna start making Mistakes.

along with reporting how DragonSpeed needed to hire new personnel after experiencing Visa issues, and Hired Veteran Engineer John dick, who I recall previously worked with Buddy Lazier. As Don't forget DragonSpeed's, and Clauson-Marshall Racing's impressive Feats of Qualifying for Thee GURR-Reatest' Race whilst McLaren goes Home...

Saturday, May 18, 2019

INDY 500: A Freaks' Flashback Interview with Tony Kanaan

As Surely 'Ol TK' Follow your Schnoz! Kanaan wistfully Opines for better Days at 'Ol superTex's, a la  his 2013 victory at Mother Speedway...

Although typically, sometime in Thee Month 'O May, The Speed Freaks have a Chin Wag' with 'Ol Uncle bobby, aka triple Indy 500 winner Bobby Unser, I've chosen a different Interviewee this time, in Hopes of bringing Tony Kanaan some much needed No Fenders MoJo', since Blimey! TK' and the Foyt Gang certainly need some!

Although I'm not expecting Kanaan to be Drinking Milk in Victory Lane this May, Yuhs can never count out the Wily Brazilian at the Speedway, El Correctomundo!