Saturday, May 26, 2018

INDY 500: Who'd ah Thunk-It, that Castroneves would become A "One-Offer"



The Lazier Racing Partners Car #91 heading towards the Pits during the 2013 Indy 500. As then, just like now, All this car needed was a sponsor! (The Tomaso Collection)
But Don't Fret Y'all, El Capitano's kept his Star Driver Gleefully employed piloting his Acura DPi Prototype in IMSA's Weathertech SportsCar Championship...

As of May 1st, when I began scourin' thou Intrawoods to see who'd be racing at Mother Speedway this year. my Ryth-Muh-Tickin' not only tallied 36 entries, but also 12, which is a favourite number Up here in Seattle... Err Thars' 12 "One-Off" concerns potentially contesting this year's Indy 500, albeit Buddy Lazier's programme was very much unknown... As I'd hoped to see Buddy in action one more time at the Speedway.

Yet you'd have to surmise that not all of these One-off Contendahs' would make The Show, Eh? And with the engine Horsepower being fairly similar, who'll get Bumped Out? You Make The Call...

Ed Carpenter Racing
Engine: Chevrolet
#13. Danica Patrick, USA
First Race: 2005
Starts: 7

Not even gonna try any prolific prose upon thou Disco Queen 'O Indy Cars. Although I do chuckle over her sound bite of Not being Relative... But those RASSCAR' Greenbacks weren't too Bad, were they? Kinda like the colour of her car this year, as I'll expect the Go Daddy machine to crash out of the race at some point.

VIDEO: Wipeout Song

Which surely she'll be heard over the In-car Radio exclaiming;


But Dan-Dan-danicker obviously still's Got I-T! Since it was enough to lure me back to Mother Speedway this May, so I could say I saw her final race.

But Inquiring Minds Wanna Know...


Lazier Partners Racing
Engine: Chevrolet
(W) Buddy Lazier, USA
First Race: 1991
Winner: 1996
Starts: 20

Unfortunately, Buddy, and the Family named racing team owned by his Father Bob & Co. were unable to come up with the necessary capital to enter this year's Indy 500. As last year's race, for which Buddy crashed Hard, may be Buddy's last?


Although I'll forever cherish a Fantastic evening Kibitzing' with Buddy and the late Dr. Who at the now Derelict and Demolished? IMS Flagroom, where Buddy was super nice to Mwah!


Schmidt Peterson Motorsports
Engine: Honda
#7. Jay Howard, USA
First Race: 2011
Starts: 2

Unfortunately Jay Funnyman' Howard seems like the Punch-line to a Bad Joke, as he's the driver who caused Scott Dixon to G-O Airborne during last year's race! When he was seven laps behind in P33, Albeit Jay blamed "the Dude!," nee Ryan Hunter-Reay for pushing him into the marbles...

This team's been the most pleasant surprise of the early season with its massively revamped Engineering Department, so Howard should be in good shape there, but I feel like he's definitely SPM's third wheel and I really Don't Expect much from him.

And with Jay's Quirky relationship with Mother Speedway, I wouldn't be shocked if he was one of the Bumpees', although I think he'll squeak into the race...

Scuderia Corsa Racing with RLL
Engine: Honda
#64. Oriel Servia, Spain
First Race: 2008
Starts: 9

Although Oriol "suitcase" Servia is racing for a brand new team from the IMSA Weathertech Sportscar championship, who I've previously mentioned are the Defending Two-times GT Daytona (GTD) Class Champions. They're partnering with Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing, effectively as a third entry.

thus with "The Graminator" and reigning Indy 500 Winner Takuma Sato as team-mates, not to mention having raced for RLLR previously, look for Servia to mix it up with the B-I-G BOYZ', as my late Awntie' Harriet liked calling 'em.

Team Penske
Engine: Chevrolet
#3. (W) Helio Castroneves, Brazil
First Race: 2001
Winner: 2001-02, 2009
Starts: 17

What can I say 'bout Good 'Ol HULIO', that hasn't already been said, Eh? As he's the only Three Times Winner in the field, one of only nine men to do so. And he's also the only winner now relegated to "One Off" status.

Along with his three "Baby Borg" trophies, Castroneves has also finished runner-up three times, including last year's epic Duel with eventual winner Taku-san', aka Takuma Sato! And also has finished third once.

As a member of Team Penske's Four-car Armada, you cannot count out Helio from joining a rarefied trio of Four-times Winners, albeit I certainly Hope he NEVER joins them! But that's a debate for another day...

(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer CARPETS')

Friday, May 25, 2018

INDY 500: Qualie' Weekend Pics' - Thee Mayor's Car



James Hinchcliffe's car coming out of Tech. Guess they should have left it in there, Eh? (the Tomaso Collection)
Thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown', aka James Hinchcliffe's No. 5 SPM Dallara-Honda exiting Tech Inspection at Indianapolis on bump Day, "The 2018 Edition." Now  when do they fire that Gun, Eh? Ah Shucks, Yuhs knew It was Coming, Eh!

As I think it'd be Awesome if Hinch' and Honder' came out with a Commercial Mocking his Not making the race...

(Photo c/o No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer CARPETS')

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Off to Indianapolis, again...



The Editor, Cook 'N chief Bottle Washer of No Fenders arrives at Indy's Airport under Heavy Security. (the Tomaso Collection)
Hey, isn't that that No Fenders Guy?

Although I SWORE I'd never do the OH DARK-30 Fly All Day routine again... Surprise, Surprise, Surprise! As your Humble No Fenders Scribe did exactly that around 5:30AM this FREAKIN' Morning, which the Shuttle Express service requires your Drop-off at the Airport to be two Bloody hours before your flight, plus the hour travel time; SHIT!

All to go sit 'N Chill... Like Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary ELLEN just said, You'd better NOT Fall Asleep during your 4hr layover in San Fran! As CRAP! The layover's longer than the first flight's leg; but I digress... Simply in order to arrive in Indianapolis some 14+ Hours later; GROAN!

good thingy' I just reviewed the updated itinerary... Since the first flight actually now leaves at 5:25aM, and is a ridiculously short 2hrs 7mins "flying Time," which these Dazes means Gate-to-Gate. Which means my layover's more than twice as long, since I've gotta stay "entertained" in SF for 4hrs and 21mins; FUCK!
Since for the Over the Top price I paid for this flight, I should be making the 12.25hrs Nonstop flight to Auckland, New Zealand I once did from L.A.

And Yuhs Never Know just Who You'll meet on your Flight, Eh? As I still recall somebody calling me Animal on a crowded "Puddle Jumper" two years ago...


And since I'm truly Old School, since "It's Hip to Be Square," Righto? Uhm, I'm not as Hip as thou Elder Statesman 'O IndyCar Bloggers, nee Geo Phillips of Oilpressure Fame; Hya! Hence, I DON'T do TWIT-ER, Instagram, Snap-Chat our whatever The Kids are doing these Dazes...


Therefore, your No Fenders "Moistest" Humble Scribe Tomaso will be thoroughly ensconced in enjoying some of the rituals of attending Mother Speedway, i.e.; Carb Day, Legends Day and Uhm, Oh Yeah, Duh Race! Along with my favourite Sunday Evening TV Show, the local only Indy 500 Awards Banquet. And will return to thou trusty Keyboard Messer Sheheen, sometime after the race...

As I'll leave Y'all with a few "Canned" goodies' to tides Yuhs over, including the following golden oldie below...


(Photo c/o No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer CARPETS')