Open Wheel notes

Sign of the Times?
I find it hugely embarrassing that in this world ‘O Unification, Sarah Fisher and Paul Tracy are struggling to attract the necessary sponsorship needed to fund quality programs in the Indy Car World Series, while back markers such as Milka Duno and Marty Roth continue to plod along… And not to harp about the IRL bias that still permeates the media, as Sarah Fisher got a nice article about her teams struggles published in the USA Today, but how come NO mention about Mr. Chrome Horn’s travails, eh?

N/H/L crew member killed
How horrible for 63yr old Davey Evans, long time mechanic of Newman Haas Racing to have been STUPIDLY killed in a SENSELESS Bar-room brawl…

Evans, who specialized in engine work, had been a member of the team for the past 23 years and his association with Carl Haas goes back four decades to Lola Cars and the Can Am era. Evans and a few of his mates had gone to the Kazablanca bar for a late evening dinner before being involved in this horrific confrontation in which Evans died from a stroke which was most likely caused by senseless fisticuffs…

Feeling the Heat?
Apparently Ryan “Inferno” Briscoe is feeling a little pressure to perform this Month of May as the Captain seeks to extend his record strangle-hold on the Speedway, as Briscoe claims that almost every discussion he’s had with Roger always has some connotation about the Speedway’s importance interwoven into it… While Helio Castroneves has apparently left his blue suede shoes at home in the closet for the time being… As he forgoes participating in the Dancing with FOOLS 100th Episode extravaganza recently, telling his ex-dancing partners he was focusing upon his day-job at Indy…

Pearly Vision
As Y’all know, I’ve just returned from the Great White North and having read about Pat Caporali being announced as the new Public Relations guru for the Kingdom Racing team… The thought struck me that I’d just returned from the other Great White North, eh? Not to be cornfuzed with that place with the white fluffy clouds and some sort ‘O mystical entry gates…

This leads me to ASSUME that Davey Hamilton’s Visionary Racing-mobile will obviously be painted white, since after all, white is the preferred Holy colour, eh? As Y’all know ‘dem Good Guys always wear white? As “Juan ‘O” Kingdom (Come) Racing’s goals is to pass along some sort of divinity, claiming they just want to spread the word of Jesus…

The Gecko-man
Italian racing driver Max Papis, whom has previously been touted as Indy’s newest Lizard King… Has claimed how ecstatic he is to be back aboard a really fast race car after having spent the past two years in Sports Cars, proclaiming;

“It was an adrenaline rush.”

"It's fun to be going so fast after a long time away," the son-in-law of two-time Indy winner Emerson Fittipaldi said. "When you haven't done it for a while, you can't believe how these cars stick in the corner. It's like a video game."

Papis expects to solidly place his Rubicon Racing entry in the 92nd running of Indy, making his third start at the Speedway…

When “Super Tex” speaks
Som-thun ‘bout an ‘Ol EF Hutton joke here? As apparently ‘Ol Super Tex has announced that Larry Foyt will NOT be driving his second race car at Indy, although he’s listed as the driver of the #41 AJ Foyt Enterprises entry.

Yet, AJ Foyt claims that Larry “DOESN’T Have that KILLER Instinct!” And that Larry is more important to him as the Team’s manager then getting injured racing once again…

Apparently Larry Foyt who’s broken his back once before has other ideas, as he’s still hopeful of finding the necessary sponsorship to get himself behind the wheel, while AJ claims that if they run a second entry, it’ll be somebody else… And judging by car count they’ll need to run that second entry… Although I certainly hope Al Unser Jr will stay away from another languid run at Indy…

One less seat?
Team owner John Barnes has announced that there will be NO second Panther entry this Month of May, as the team wishes to focus solely upon the struggling Vitor Meira’s chassis. The team has also lured past engineer David Cripps back into the fold after somebody named “Curly” took over his role at Roth Racing…

Run for the Border?
It has been announced that officials from the Mexico City Tourism Board will meet this weekend with Tony George to discuss the possibility of enticing him into adding their city to the 2009 Indy Car World Series…

First Wall Smack
Of course Y’all knew it was gonna happen… As Rookie “Josie Carnuba” (Jaime Camara) was the first driver to sample the Safer Barrier at the Brickyard, upon hitting the wall during practice.

To which apparently Bryan “High Speed Hurdles” Herta text messaged him something about having now earned his Rookie stripe at the Brickyard…

Curry’s new gig
Why do I find this humorous… As the recently ousted Vision Racing Team Manager Larry Curry has landed a new job as Chief Engineer for Roth Racing. Now could Larry please tell Marty to stay the HELL off the track!

Now its time to tune into Fast Fridy, if the weather decides to cooperate, eh?

Sniff Petrol

While crossing the border into the States from my recent journey to the Great White North, with the absence of US Border Agents whom were apparently once again on their lunch break? I had time to ponder the following thoughts, as our Greyhound bus driver so frustratingly noted… It’s NOT like they DON’T know we’re coming, since we arrive at the same time every day! But hey, we’ll come out and get you when we Damn well feel like it…

Thus I sat there staring at the NEVER ending convoy of diesel Semi-haulers streaming across the border as it was simply Wall to Wall Tractor Trailers at least two or three lanes wide… And to think we’re gonna Wien ourselves off of that NASTY black oily stuff, eh? Yet this black tar gold is apparently what the Turks are currently bombing the Kurds over… Not to mention that we’ve just recently passed the anniversary of the Armenian massacre that the Turkish Government refuses to recognize…

And while listening to the CBC News for any updates on Toronto’s favourite son Paul Tracy, I was immediately taken aback by the HIPPOCRACY SPEWING OUT OF our First Lady Laura “Pickles” Bush’s mouth… While apparently playing the “BLAME GAME” by pointing fingers at the Burma Junta over its apparent lack of action over the current natural disaster that has struck them… As all I could hear myself saying was; How’d that Hurricane Katrina work out?

After a ridiculously long wait I was awoken from these thoughts as our bus driver announced that we’d finally been granted permission to pull forwards and begin the ridiculous portion of our Border crossing adventure as everything needed to be removed from the bus, then please take your luggage inside to be X-Rayed while being interviewed by the Border agents…

And although I was the very last person in line, this is always a good thing as I breezed right thru while there appeared to be 4-6 other persons who’d failed to have their Visas/Paper work correctly filled out… As the man ahead of me was from Sweden and I just sat there thinking he must get a lot of jokes about playing basketball as he seemed even taller than Justin Wilson…

Having finally managed to get everybody processed and reboarded… We were only DETAINED One hour, SHEISA!

As the couple seated in front of me were from Heidelberg, Germany and were becoming concerned about what time they’d be getting into Seattle as they were trying to get to the airport in time to catch there flight back to Frankfurt and were apparently cutting it close. You see, in Germany there’s Trains running everywhere and they run on time…

They’d come to Canada to participate in some sort of running event, I believe it was a half marathon? Since the lady mentioned how you needed a time to qualify for New York since there’s so many people wanting to take part in that event, as she kibitzed with the retired school teacher lady who’d taken my seat…

I overheard that they had seven children ages 7-23 and had taken part in the running event just for fun, as I’m guessing the current exchange rate made it possible, eh? As I told them it would most likely take another hour by bus from the Bus terminal to the airport as we were surrounded by traffic everywhere the eye wandered... But hey, how ‘bout ‘dem Politicians who are currently promising to cure everything! All uze gotta do is vote for ‘dem, SHEISA!

Chrome Horns

Well, Good Day from the Great White North… Actually it’s almost over now, as another Border crossing took almost the entire day to complete.

And its funny how there wasn’t any news about Mr. C.H. Not to be cornfuzed with Canadian Hosers… But instead that loveable Torontan… a.k.a. Paul “Chrome Horn” Tracy, as the Top Sports story from CBC News was that the Kuh-nuck’s defeated the Yanks 5-4 in the World Hockey Championships…

Thus, the only low down I’ve heard recently on any possibilities to see the Thrill from the West Hill is to have ‘Ol PT pony up $500k large in order to buy a ride with Derrick Walker’s beleaguered outfit, which apparently still has a slightly used “Whoosh Mobile” Dallara in its possession?

Hopefully Robin Miller will indeed win the lottery! NO, NOT so he’ll quit covering motorsports Jeff, but instead so he can pay for Tracy’s ride this Month ‘O May. Of course there’s always that vacant #77…

Now I’ve got to Take Off, Eh? Has anybody seen my Touk?

Great White North

OTAY, I know it’s a bit backwards to be heading North today instead of making a Run for the Border on Cinco de Mayo…

But, nevertheless I’m off to the Great White North, eh? For the next few dazes… So if there AINT’s NO New posts, you can simply “BLAME KANA-DUH!”

Tony’s money maker

Don’t know why this caught my eye… As I tend to think of the IMS as NOT being technically savvy… Yet apparently a deal has been struck with Cha Cha… Nope, don’t fret. This AIN’T no smooshy tie-in with the Oxygen Channel, nor “le trio des femelles,” a.k.a. Princess, Milka and Sarah; Ooh lah lah, “Tres chaud, Mon Cherie!”

And it ain’t Shirley “Cha Cha” Muldohney either… Unless she’s found a white fire suit to saunter about Gasoline Alley…

No, Tony George is going’ somewhere… (Insert joke here?) Err, the Speedway is going’ High-tech as its just awarded another exclusive contract to Cha Cha, a Carmel, CA based internets start-up, which will provide official mobile answers services for the Indianapolis Motor Speedway during the month of May. As you can now ask Cha Cha any IMS related questions via your cell phone.

Q) How many cars will show up on “Boomp” Day?
A) Search results; Sorry, there were NO ANSWERS found matching your query…

And the service will also feature text alerts, which apparently were tried out this past weekend…

BUZZ- BUZZ- BUZZ!!! Ernesto Jose Viso; “You’re entering the WRONG Pit Stall (YOU NIMROD!) Continue to proceed 1,000 Feet FARTHER!!!

To which Eddie Carpentier sent EJ the following; Get the F%%K OUT of MY Pit you smarmy Brazilian…

FLASH: Whoa, Big Fella! Ease up Mr. Edwardo, Mezs un Ruukie…

BUZZ- BUZZ- BUZZ!!! Car #20, this is Brian Barnhart. Report to my office IMMEDIATELY!

HMM? Wonder if this is how Larry Curry got the memo on his dismissal?

Cinco de Mayo

Otay, I know Y’all are supposed to be hootin ‘N hollerin over the fact that it’s Cinco de Mayo… And don’t forget to eat the worm…

This elspeciale day made me ponder just how many Mexicali’s had taken part in Formula 1 and did they ever host a Grand Prix? And of course some of you out there are probably way ahead of me, eh?

As yes indeed, Mexico once was a part of the Grand Prix Calendar, well actually it was part of the calendar twice, with all races being held at the Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez, with the first race being run in 1962 as a Non Championship event. Yet, from 1963 to 1970 the Mexican GP played havoc with the then top flight Grand Prix machinery, as these carbureted beasts were extremely susceptible to the city’s notoriously thin air, since the track was at an elevation of 7,400 feet.

The 1963 Formula 1 World Championship race was won by Scotland’s Jimmy Clark, also the winner of the 1967 event, while America’s Dan Gurney claimed one of his four Grand Prix victories aboard a Brabham-Climax (1.5 liter inline four cylinder engine) race car in 1964.

The final season’s penultimate race of the 1.5 liter Normally Aspirated era (1961-65) was a watershed event, as American Ritchie Ginther scored his lone F1 race win and Honda Racing’s maiden Grand Prix victory aboard the Honda RA272 with a transversely mounted V-12 power unit. This would also be Goodyear’s very first Grand Prix victory.

Mexico City would remain on the F1 schedule thru the 1970 season, when it was dropped after the circuit was unable to control spectators from continuously hovering too close or being on the racing line…

The 4.421 Kilometer circuit located in Magdalena Mixhuca, a public park in the northeast of Mexico City was updated to FIA standards in time to return to the F1 Calendar in 1986, as high fencing and ferocious guard dogs kept spectators at bay. This event would see another surprise victor, as Gerhard Berger would score his and Benetton’s maiden Grand Prix victory, largely credited to their Pirelli tires outlasting the competition. The Autodrome would remain a fixture until 1992, when sadly once again the track would be dropped from Grand Prix competition, as the circuit’s bumps had finally outgrown the F1 Constructors welcome.

Interestingly, rumours first surfaced in 2003 about Mexico’s possible return to action with Bernie Ecclestone stating in 2006 that Mexico would indeed return to the GP limelight with a round of the 2009 season being held at a brand new $70 million facility built in Cancun, which now has fallen by the wayside.

Although CART contested a pair of races there from 1980-81, with both events being won by Rick Mears for Penske Racing, CART also turned its back upon the aging circuit which laid largely dormant until Gerry Forsythe instigated a massive rebuilding project in the new millennium.

Champ Car then began competing at the refurbished circuit from 2002 thru 2007 and could Tony George be pondering a future return to Mexico City as the Indy Car World Series? Presently, the only two major American sanctioning bodies venturing down South of the Border are Grand Am and the Nationwide series…

And while searching for Drivers, I was quite surprised to learn that only four Mexicans have ever contested the Formula One World Championship, as you may be aware of the most notable Mexicali’s being the Rodriguez Brothers.

Interestingly, their father Don Pedro reputedly made a small fortune as head of the countries elite Mexican Motorcycle Police force, thus his background of “Scooters” apparently rubbed off on his two sons, who would begin their racing careers as Motorcycle racers, as both brothers were National Champion multiple times before moving onto automobiles.

Although Ricardo was refused entrance into the 24 Heurs du Mans due to his early age (16) Ricardo and Pedro often competed in top notch machinery bought for them by their father, as the brothers contested several events for Luigi Chinetti's N.A.R.T. (North American Racing Team)

“Pedro was just 20 and his brother Ricardo was two years younger when US Ferrari importer Luigi Chinetti dispatched them to Le Mans at the wheel of a Ferrari 250 "Testa Rossa." There the Mexican kids put the fear of God into all their rivals and would have won the race had the car lasted.”


Ricardo Rodriguez
Supposedly it was the younger (19yr old) brother Ricardo who sparked the Nation’s lust of hosting an International Grand Prix with his rise to prominence during his various Sports Car drives, having finished second at Le Mans and third at Sebring. These performances apparently caught the attention of Enzo, thus being invited to drive for the Scuderia Ferrari in the 1961 Italian Grand Prix before graduating to a full time works drive in 1962.

Although 1962 wasn’t a hugely successful year for Ferrari in F1, Ricardo did win the Targa Florio aboard a 246 Dino SP, while making five starts in Formula 1 (1961-62) and scored points in the Belgian and German Grand Prix’s before Enzo decided not to send his cars to Mexico City. Sadly Ricardo would perish during practice for the 1962 non-championship event while driving a rented Rob Walker Lotus 24 racing car.


Pedro Rodriguez
While Mexico was deeply morning the loss of 20yr old Ricardo, elder brother Pedro was now contesting major Sports Car events, having won the 1963 Daytona Continental for Chinetti behind the wheel of an N.A.R.T. Ferrari 250 GTO. The Continental was the forbearer of today’s Rolex 24 and originally began as a three hour race. In 1964 Pedro would win once again, this time sharing the N.A.R.T. Ferrari 250 GTO with Formula 1 World Champion Phil Hill as the event had been lengthened to 2,000 Kilometers.

Pedro had also made his way into Formula 1 by 1963 and would blossom into Mexico’s most successful Grand Prix driver, ultimately contesting 54 Grand Prix’s for Ferrari, Lotus, Cooper and BRM, (1963-71) as Pedro would win two events, the 1967 South African GP for Cooper and the 1970 Belgian GP for BRM.

Pedro was also a gifted Sports Car pilot, having contested Le Mans 14times, Pedro was victorious for John Wyer’s Gulf Ford GT 40 effort in 1968 before signing a contract with the Englishman and winning the World Sports Car Championship aboard the all conquering Porsche 917 two years in a row.

Pedro also won the North American Ice Racing title in 1970 as well as finishing fifth in that year’s Charlotte World 600 RASSCAR event before his untimely death in a Sports Car event at the Nurburgring behind the wheel of a Ferrari 512 in 1971.


Moises Solana
This is a long forgotten Formula 1 driver I hadn’t heard of previously. He was a journeyman driver who drove for Cooper, Lotus and Scuderia Centro Sud. (1963-68) along with limited forays into Formula 2 with Lotus and Ferrari, making a total of eight Grand Prix starts, primarily contesting the Mexican Grand Prix several years in a row.

Moises also contested road racing in the Northern Hemisphere, in the United States Road Racing Championship (USRRC) forbearer of the Can Am championship and was the first driver to score points in an USRRC International event aboard an McLaren.

Solana was killed in 1969 when he lost control of his McLaren Can Am car in a Hill Climb event upon smashing into a bridge.


Hector Rebaque
A final, lesser known driver would emerge from the shadows of the Rodriguez Brothers. Coming from an affluent Mexican family, Hector bought his way into the Hesketh team in 1977, of which he had mix results at.

For 1978, Hector decided he needed better equipment and bought a used Lotus to run under the Rebaque banner. The following year he bought another used Lotus, but bbecame increasingly frustrated with his perceived lack of support from Colin Chapman. He then decided to build his own chassis and hence commissioned Penske Racing to fabricate what would become known as the HR-100, largely based on his old Lotus.

Hector made a total of 58 starts for Hesketh, Rebaque and Brabham (1977-81) and upon shutting down his languishing Rebaque team, Hector moved onwards to Bernie Ecclestone’s F1 team alongside teammate Nelson Piquet at Brabham in 1980. While vastly overshadowed by World Champion Piquet, it’s reported that Rebaque’s insistence to fly home between Grand Prix’s was a contributing factor to his lackluster Formula 1 career.

Being left without an F1 ride for 1982 after Bernie had hired Ricardo Patrese as his replacement, Hector took up residence in CART for Gerry Forsythe and inherited a lone Champ Car victory in 1982 for Forsythe Racing when Al Unser Sr ran out of petrol while leading the inaugural Road America race. Rebaque then had a major shunt on the high banks of the Michigan International Speedway and decided to retire from motor racing.


Meanwhile, during the resurrection and second coming of Grand Prix racing at Mexico City (1986-92) the events date was shifted to the spring in 1989 to coincide with the reborn USGP. (Phoenix, AZ)

During this time, Mexico also began hosting a round of the World Sports Car Championship and a young German named Michael Schumacher scored one of his earliest career victories co-driving an all conquering Sauber-Mercedes with Jochen Mass in 1990 at the Hermanos Rodriguez circuit.

Most wins at the venerable Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez are split between three drivers, having two wins apiece: Jimmy Clark, 1963, ’67; Alain Prost, 1988, ‘90 and Nigel Mansell, 1987, ’92.

Mexican Grand Prix winners
1963) Jimmy Clark; 1964) Dan Gurney; 1965) Richie Ginther; 1966) John Surtees; 1967) Jimmy Clark; 1968) Graham Hill; 1969) Denny Hulme; 1970) Jacky Ickx

1986) Gerhard Berger; 1987) Nigel Mansell; 1988) Alain Prost;; 1989) Ayrton Senna; 1990) Alain Prost; 1991) Riccardo Patrese; 1992) Nigel Mansell

Radio Czech

Although I’ve tossed it around previously with a fellow motorsports enthusiast, apparently we weren’t alone as Radovan Novak dropped his little bombshell during a recent interview on Radio Impuls being broadcasted over Czech Republic airwaves…

Messer Novak managed to hint that perhaps McLaren was responsible for the divulging of Sir Maxxum’s Helga be a good prisoner sex-capades…

After all, the Ronster and MAD Max have never been drinking buddies and Mosley was instrumental in seeing that Ron’s fabled racing team was lightened of $100m large from his wallet along with loosing all Constructor’s points and, Egad! Having to line-up at the very tail end of the grid in P11; as in BEHIND Force India. To which Dennis could be heard muttering all the way from the top of the Paragon motor palace; “You’ve got to be BLOODY JOKING!!!”

Of course, Mr. Novak has since gone into full denial mode over his recent comments, to which the Ronster issued the following statement;

"We have written to Mr. Novak and are currently considering the appropriate route via which the remarks that have been attributed to him may be withdrawn or corrected."
Dennis went on to deny Novak's suggestion in no uncertain terms.
"As I have consistently said whenever I have been asked about this, I categorically deny that I have anything to do with the News of the World investigation into Mr. Mosley," he said. "Neither does anyone connected with the McLaren Group or the Vodafone McLaren Mercedes team, and neither does any agent or any other party acting on behalf of myself or anyone connected with the McLaren Group or the Vodafone McLaren Mercedes team."

It is worth noting that Mr. Novak is a longtime member of the FIA as well as a staunch supporter of Mr. Mosley, and currently holds the posts of General-Secretary of the Autoclub of the Czech Republic (ACCR) and President of the FIA's Central European Zone. (CEZ)

Thus it seems a tad odd that an FIA member is floating “Trial Balloon” statements upon public airwaves, unless he was inspired by his close ally Sir Maxxum? Novak has also claimed that the World Motor Sport Council held a straw poll towards whether or not Mr. Mosley should remain in office, claiming that there were six undecided, with nine each for and against Mosley with Sir Maxxum and Emperor Bernardo not being present…

But one must indeed wonder… HMM? McLaren Mercedes, isn’t Mercedes Benz a German firm? Is it possible that Norbert Haag could be able to contact some very nice Frauleins and ask: Meine Freunde kleine Wurst, Frau bitte finden!

It’s just a thought, since Mosley seems to have unfairly gone after McLaren while letting Flavour Flav and the Reggie slide.

Super Aguri’s lifeline?

While the Super Aguri F1 team struggles mightily to retain its position on the grid, with Big Brother Honda having anteed-up $2.0m Euros in order for the Super Best Friends outing at the Spanish Grand Prix, there is now apparently some talks going on with a previously spurned bidder.

Franz Joseph Weigl, a former “Scooter” racing pilot, whose Weigl Group AG provides mechanical parts to several major auto manufacturer’s, has reportedly offered to throw Aguri Suzuki a lifeline, by offering to fork over $6.5m to keep the little team afloat and thus, this will hopefully allow Honda to save face and keep Takuma Sato racing for the foreseeable future.

While it’s not believed that Weigl has the necessary funding to obtain the team outright, the move to transfer a major shareholding of the Honda “B-Team” is seen as a way to keep Super Aguri racing while other bidders or sponsorship is sought.

Now the hard part will be getting the team’s race cars to Istanbul, as everybody else has already taken the safer route via ferryboat, instead of running the gauntlet between either the Balkans or Southern Italy which are prone to truck hijackings.

Good Luck Super Best Friends, hope to see you on the telescreen next week…

Visions of Grandeur

I find this announcement a bit ironic, as originally Danny B informed me about Larry “MOE” Curry’s (Where’s Curly, eh?) embezzling of dinero from Edward Carpenter’s title sponsor, who’s just been released from his post, as according to Indystar’s intrepid reporter Kurt Cabin;

“Curry's hiring was controversial given that he went to prison for defrauding Team Menard, a former IndyCar Series team, of $1.5 million from 1994 to 1998.
"Larry has been an asset to the growth and building of Vision Racing," Tony George said in a statement released Friday. "However, after full review of the facts surrounding the disallowance of the team's qualifying runs at Homestead-Miami Speedway, Larry and I agreed that a breach of what amounts to the team's code of conduct had occurred and as team manager he was expected to uphold a very high standard, but in this instance fell short."

Now as we cue-up that ever popular tune ‘O Alanis Morissette; “ISN’T IT IRONIC?” Me thinks Tony has just found himself a convenient way to throw Curry UNDER THE BUS… I mean with Davey Hamilton bringing sponsors of the cloth, was George feeling the heat… (To atone for Larry’s sins?) Or did John Menard have a vision of NOT wanting MOE anywhere’s near his equipment?

And speaking of Davey Hamilton, it has now been confirmed that he will indeed pilot the third Vision Racing entry, as the #22 will carry backing from Hewlett Packard and a ghost of others, while I’ll leave it to you to decide who’s who in the current Vision line-up…

F1 Montage

May Day

It’s hard to believe that 14 years have slipped by since that HORRIFIC weekend in Imola, Italy… Where not one but two Formula 1 drivers met their fates, while even stranger yet, is the fact that I once stood nearly three feet away from one of these stricken heroes, none other than Ayrton Senna.

And it’s funny to me what we keep indelibly locked inside our memory banks, as I can still clearly see four of the seven Grand Prix drivers that passed thru my gaze that wonderful day in Phoenix, Arizona.

You see, this was my very first foray of attending a real honest to goodness Formula 1 race, having only been introduced to this magnificent form of motor racing two and a half years previously. Thus I found it excellent fortune for the state of Arizona to have miraculously landed a five year contract to host a round of the F1 circus beginning in 1989.

Being a stranger to the Downtown streets of Phoenix, nevertheless mi Madre dropped me off promptly first thing Friday morning, prior to the gates being opened at 7:30AM in order to spend the entire day watching these fabulous racing cars…

Yet, where to purchase my Admission ticket, Having made my way past the various persons trying to forcefully hand me free samples of Marlboro and Camel cigarettes, I approached the ticket booth. Yet, when I got to the window the lady told me; No, you can’t purchase a General Admission ticket here, you’ll need to go to the other ticket booth around the corner… Which was several thousand meters away…

So off I went in search of this mysterious second ticket booth and having found it, was somewhat bemused to be told; NO! You need to go back to the first ticket booth Sir. So, back I went, where I started to become somewhat incensed as I was informed that I indeed needed to go back to the ticket booth I’d just come from… And thus now knowing this stretch of the Grand Prix circuit quite well, made my way back to the other ticket booth, only to be told you know what!

Yet, this “Whose on First” routine had a silver lining in it for me, since said second ticket booth happened to be mere meters away from the open, non-administered entrance into the Formula 1 paddock. As these were the days of Pre-Qualifying when 37 F1 drivers were jockeying for 28 grid spots, with the lowest drivers on the grid being forced to fight their way into the day’s qualifying show.

Yet, just moments before turning around to go back again, I was simply blown away as the first of several of these modern day Gladiators approached. Thus, while standing in the entryway into the F1 paddock, I stood motionless, as the sports “God’s” walked towards me…

Transfixed in total disbelief, the reigning World Champion and future Three Time World Champion Ayrton Senna was walking straight towards me; “Oh My God!!!” Of course not having anything on me, i.e.; writing utensil, scrap of paper, race program, etc, HELL! I didn’t even have a Grand Prix ticket at the moment… I simply stood there dumbfounded watching this maestro of Formula 1 walk directly past me. Where he then stopped to sign an autograph…

Thus I can still vividly see him standing in tan Gucci loafers, blue jeans with an half inch silver belt and an orange sweatshirt with his credentials tucked inside… And as he turned his brown leather briefcase upside down to sign the request, I noticed a hurkin’ large bright gold watch on his left wrist, which looked like a Rolex to me… Yet, the part I found most strange about this whole encounter of frenzied autograph seeker’s was that absolutely ZERO attention was being paid to Senna’s compatriot, who was none other than Japanese F1 driver Aguri Suzuki. (But sadly, nobody bothered Aguri-san for an autograph!)

Then even more bizarre, I watched an Good ‘Ol Boy American who must of weighed nearly 350lbs BEAR HUG “The Professor,” while gleefully having’ his picture taken with the French racing ace Alain Prost.

Next, the scene became even more surreal, as I witnessed another Formula 1 driver seemingly primp himself in the midst of a crowd, which seemed totally unaware of who this overdressed European gentleman was? As I noted to myself that he was also adorned in Gucci loafers, tan slacks, a blue polo shirt with a gray cardigan sweater tied around his neck while striking a pose and looking very sheik. The man was none other than current Three Time World Champion Nelson Piquet!

But the next three drivers I witnessed are a bit hazy, as I think I saw Ivan Capelli and Martin “Billy Bob” Brundle saunter by individually, while last but not least to pass by my unbelievable vantage point was the Belgian Thierry Boutsen on his way into the paddock to prepare for the morning’s qualifying session…

Not being able to pick out any further F1 pilotes, I made a bee-line back for the original ticket booth with an air of urgency as I was positive Pre-Qualifying would soon be getting underway and I still had not been granted admittance into the track! Where I was finally able to purchase my $50 Three Day General Admission pass and scurry inside to watch the day’s activities, later thinking how cool is this? Standing in the middle of Downtown Phoenix in the middle of summer with an ice cold Fosters “Oil Can” in hand and the siren song of 28 Formula 1 land rockets shrieking past me!

Saturday would be even better as Hall convinced me to explore some more of the circuit and we luckily found ourselves watching about one half of the day’s morning qualifying session from the Press grandstand situated at the end of pit lane, until we were finally asked to leave since we didn’t have NO STINKIN’ Credentials… Thus we went off further exploring the tracks circuitous layout, and suddenly found ourselves face to face with the wailing Grand Prix machinery as I quickly snapped a few pic’s from an unauthorized vantage point behind the myriad of chain link fencing, as Ayrton Senna’s McLaren screamed past me.

Ironically that Sunday’s race held on June 4, 1989 in 104 degree heat was sadly the same day as the tragic and UNNECESSARY killings taking place in Tiananmen Square, while China is set to host this year’s Summer Olympics...

Unfortunately I decided NOT to attend the following year’s event, I mean C’mon, it’s gonna be there another four years, right? Thus, the last time I’d witness Ayrton Senna in the flesh, would be the 1991 USGP, which by now he’d become a source of unadulterated angst! Being known to anybody asking me about him as Arrogant! Although this would be the year of his final World Championship, the Brazilian was not in favour with myself, having taken my then favourite driver Alain Prost out of title contention multiple times and being very difficult to beat!

Thus unknowingly, I would be in “Los Wage$” that fateful weekend of 1994, dubiously known as Black Sunday, where I was attending the final Pantera Owner’s Club of America (POCA) Car Show to be held on Freemont Street and totally unaware of the tragedies that would befall the Motor Racing world…

The weekend would begin ominously by Rubens Barrichello monstrous crash on Friday, with his car rolling over and the Brazilian having swallowed his tongue while unconscious… As Barrichello would spend the rest of the weekend in hospital, But things would become even graver, as Roland Ratzenberger would loose his life during qualifying Saturday, as he was the perilous victim of a front wing failure at 200mph, hitting the (Gilles) Villeneuve wall at approximately 180mph… Before coming to a rest slumped over inside the cockpit of his Simtek Ford/Cosworth, being officially pronounced dead upon arriving at a nearby Bologni Hospital.

Yet, as we all know, this wasn’t the final tragedy of the weekend, as renown Triple World Champion Ayrton Senna would meet his maker on Sunday, May 1st, 1994 whilst leading the San Marino Grand Prix, from fierce rival Michael Schumacher.

The race had begun with JJ Letho’s stalled Benetton being struck by Pedro Lamy’s Lotus, as Lamy was unaware of Letho’s troubles until arriving at full speed and clipped the stationary Benetton, sending wheel and suspension components high above the catch fencing and landing upon four spectators. Thus the safety car was sent to fetch Senna while debris was removed from the track before Senna went straight off at Tamberello corner on lap six while being stalked by Schumacher…

Senna was airlifted by helicopter to a nearby Bologni Hospital where he’d also be pronounced dead later that evening and its been said that Senna’s stricken Williams was discovered to have an Austrian flag inside it in order for Senna to dedicate his perceived victory to the fallen Ratzenberger…

Having been fortunate enough to be entrusted to share the driving duties of transporting my good friend Roberto’s gorgeous 1984 De Tomaso Pantera GT5, while convoying with fellow Pantera enthusiast Bud, we’d been making a non-stop beeline North via the I-5 Super-slab and were totally unaware of the weekends tragedies. Upon having stopped to have breakfast in Portland, Oregon, Roberto’s wife Kimberly would break the news to us and Roberto and I were simply dumbstruck…

God Speed Ayrton!

Will the next Driver please step up

C’mon down, you’re the next contestant brave enough to try on the Majic Rings at the Speedway!

Looks like Davey Hamilton’s seat grab for this year’s running of the Indy 500 will most likely hinge upon Tony George’s pallet for running his third racing car with Visionary backing… As the number of remaining open seats just shrank by one with Ron Hemelgarn having signed long time driver Buddy Lazier to pilot the “Johnson ‘N Johnson” mobile…

Lazier, who made his rookie debut in 1991, would become the first IRL driver to taste the milk at Indy in 1996. Last year he drove for Sam Schmidt Motorsports.

“I love the Indianapolis 500 and everything about the IndyCar Series,” said Lazier, who finished second in the 500 in 1998 and 2000 and fifth in 2005. “I lie awake at night because I want to be part of it. Ron has given me an opportunity to be part of it. We’ve struggled and we’ve had success together in the past. The two of us have experienced what it’s like to finish 33rd and have a horrible day, and we’ve experienced winning.”
(Source: Speed TV.com)


2008 Indy 500 Open seats
(Car No. /Driver/Entrant)
21 TBA Playa Del Racing
22 (TBA/(D. Hamilton?) Vision Racing
77 TBA Team Penske
83 TBA Panther Racing
91 B. Lazier, Hemelgarn Johnson
98 (TBA/R. Yasukawa?) CURB/Agajanian/Beck Motorsports
TBA TBA PDM Racing

Joie Ray

Although I’m not a Dirt Track/Midget enthusiast… There was a very interesting interview on Autosport Radio yesterday, as I’d never heard of racing pioneer Joie Ray, nor the book’s author Pat Sullivan…

What made this so interesting to me was that it’s all about an African American who broke the colour barrier in Motor Racing the same year as Jackie Robinson did in Baseball… Yet, that was NEVER Joie Ray’s concern; he just wanted to race cars!

The author Pat Sullivan has done an amazing amount of research on the subject and also presents the book in great fashion, by telling tales of how Joie made his way into racing with the help of many of the elite Dirt Track Drivers of the day…

The book sounds like quite a fascinating read and you can learn more about it at: American Scene Press: Brick by Brick

Pat Sullivan
At a number of tracks where the IndyCar Series runs around the country and at many short tracks in the Mid-West, you are likely to hear Pat on the PA.
When it comes to the history of the short tracks, the drivers and, yes, the history of the cars, Pat is a walking encyclopedia of information. How fitting it is the Pat would undertake the task of putting the history of a true auto racing pioneer... Joie Ray in book form. "Brick by Brick", released April 13th (the first anniversary of Joie's death), is the story from his first days on Earth through his racing career and the influences that made him the man he was. With the attitude in America at the time, Joie never carried a chip on his shoulder, only a smile and a good word to all.”

To checkout the Joie Ray interview, go to the Autosport Radio Archive section and click on the 2006 Archives; December 19th link...
(Source: Autosport Radio)

Heikki’s big moment

Spanish Flies

Amazingly Heikki Kovalainen escaped Un-Injured from his massive crash during the Spanish Grand Prix…
-
As fortunately FIA mandated safety design standards have vastly improved driver’s chances of survivability in today’s F1 racing cars. Imagine if this had been the 1980’s when driver’s lower extremities were placed far forwards of the front axle centerline…

Yet for those of us who watched a fairly processional Spanish GP, we were momentarily stunned by Heikki Kovalainen’s massive shunt against the tire barrier thru a 140mph corner…

According to Ron Dennis and Martin Whitemarsh, the team suspects that a “rogue” piece of stone somehow lodged itself between the front tire rim and suspension, as a sudden, unexplained loss of air pressure sent the hurtling McLaren straight thru the sand trap, impailing the stricken MP4-23 underneath the tire barrier… As it took ten minutes to dislodge Heikki from the cockpit of his heavily wrecked McLaren, which miraculously he would escape without injury!

Once again I found Friday’s second practice session TV coverage more informative then Saturday’s qualifying program, albeit Fredrico Suave did NOT disappoint his fellow countrymen, with a light tanks go for broke qualifying run in the dramatic Q3 Final “Qualie” session…

Paddock notes
Peter Winsor noted how glad he was to have his job and how good it was to see Bernie Ecclestone strolling the paddock, making sure that the F1 team’s palatial “Motor Coaches” were all parked perfectly a half inch away from each other…

Super Aguri was extended a further Grand Prix as it appears that its buy-out from the Magma Group has fallen apart. Honda F1’s boss Nick Fry said that Honda had paid a further 2.0 million Euros for the tiny “B-Team” to race this weekend, but don’t expect any further funding at Turkey…

Various discussions were made about the new aero treatments several teams were running, most notably Honda’s “Rabbit-ears,” NOT to be confused with last years version of “Elephant-ears” which Steve Matchett claimed the team had to discontinue because they were so UGLY!

Professor Matchett also discussed Renault’s new Dorsal Fin treatment on the spine of the rear engine cover a la Red Bull Racing; For more info see Speed TV’s chalkboard section…

While poised to become the most experienced man in Formula 1, Honda’s Rubens Barrichello completed two race distances back-to-back during the most recent test at Barcelona, a feat of 150 laps…

The House of Winsor noted how card playing has become all the rage in the F1 Paddock, as “Fishy-fella,” Tonio Luzzi, both BMW-Sauber boyzs and Ferdi the Putz, a.k.a. Alonso have all taken to playing poker until 11:30PM every Saturday night, while Giancarlo Fisichella is the man to beat…

Adrian Newey’s Red Bull version of the Scuderia Toro Rosso STR-03 is still on track to debut at Turkey despite Bourdais’s big crash…

And speaking of the Hamburgular, a.k.a. Sebastain Bourdeax (Bourdais) he’s managed to steal a better qualifying position ahead of more experienced teammate Sebastian Vettel once again, along with beating senior F1 driver DC!

And it was funny to see the Force India F1 team atop the time sheets for a long portion of Friday’s second practice session, with “Fisi” leading Adrian Sutil, who were then split by The Iceman… Before “Kazoo” Nakajima jumped to the top with Nico Rosberg hot on his heels, before the Spanish crowd went ecstatic with homeboy Fredrico Suave and Nelson Nelson of the Renault squad taking their turn at the top of the page…

But as Sir Jackie (Stewart) so bluntly pointed out on Peter Winsor’s grid walk, NOBODY would beat Kimi Raikkonen from pole… As he became the eighth driver in a row to win from the coveted grid position at Barcelona…

And while Alonso delighted the 132,000+ Spanish spectators, his engine finally “DONE BLOWN UP!” while running in the points… As it had been previously pointed out that engines were reported to cost a cool $250,000 Euros a copy. What’s that David? About $400k large greenbacks Bob Varsha quipped…


Qualifying results
Pole: Kimi Raikkonen; 2. Fernando Alonso; 3. Felipe Massa; 4. Robert Kubica; 5. Lewis Hamilton; 6. Heikki Kovalainen; 7. Mark Webber; 8. Jarno Trulli: 9. Nick Heidfeld; 10. Nelson Piquet Jr

Race results
Winner: K. Raikkonen; 2. F. Massa; 3. L. Hamilton; 4. R. Kubica;
5. M. Webber; 6. Jenson Button: 7. Kazuki Nakajima; 8. J. Trulli

2008 F1 Point Standings

(Round 4 of 18)

Driver’s
K. Raikkonen 29
L. Hamilton 20
R. Kubica 19
F. Massa 18
N. Heidfeld 16
H. Kovalainen 14


Constructors
Ferrari 47
BMW Sauber 35
McLaren 34
Williams 12
Red Bull 8

Move over Danica

Oh My God! They’re taking over…

Yeah, that’s right… Another Female racing driver has just WON her very first major race, as Ashley Force defeated her father John Force to become the very first woman to win a National Hot Rod Association (NHRA) Funny Car event.

Ashley, who’s made the final round twice previously, was finally victorious against her legendary father John, who’s won a record 14 Funny Car titles and was making his 500th start this weekend in Atlanta.

The elder Force was also seeking a further piece of history by gunning for his 1,000th round victory, but spun the tires and went up in smoke to Ashley’s winning 4.837 seconds quarter mile pass at 320.36 mph aboard her Castrol GTX Ford Mustang.

Ashley also becomes the very first female to lead the “Floppers” (Funny Car) point’s standings…

Hamilton’s vision?

With the next Comedy stop on the Indy Car calendar being the Brickyard… IMS Radio Broadcast member Davey Hamilton teased us further by Eluding that he hopes to have his Indy deal signed, sealed & delivered sometime this week as Hewlett Packard will once again be a sponsor along with the Holy Spirt ‘O Kingdom-come Racing.

And although Davey didn’t mention any teams, it sounds like from Kurt Cabin’s latest Colum that Hamilton is closing in on a deal to drive Tony George’s third Indy 500 entry as both Marty Roth and Andretti Green Racing have NO plans to field additional entries for the 92nd running of the Indianapolis 500.

With Hamilton in the #22 Vision Racing entry(?) will George dust off a fourth chassis to run Paul Tracy? Or will the Kanuck land somewhere else…

Wipeout!

Whuh-whuh-whuhh-whuhh-whuhh-Wuhh WHIPEOUT!!!

ALL I can say is watch your ears… As my Eddie Carpentier F-BOMB’s a comin’ F%%K YOU ESPN2!!!

Note to Marty Reid, I think the Indy Car World Series wave has CRASHED… As the “Red Headed Step-child ‘O Motorsports has gotten the SHAFT two race weekends in a row…

As previously mentioned during the Motegi Twin Rings ‘O Venus elongated television coverage, having sat thru 130 minutes of Stork sightings and then having the next days airing on the most DESPISED Broadcast channel I noted;

And even better yet, if you wish to win over us Champ Car diehards… Then don’t put the FRILLIN’ Delayed race coverage on ESPN Classic… Cause many households DON’T have access to that channel…

Thus imagine my DISGUST when sitting down to watch HA-HA! The Roadrunner 300 as there was FRILLING Women’s Golf beaming back at me… As Son ‘O a Bitch! I think the networks are taking this Danicker Patrick LUV-FEST just a little too far… I mean what the HELL! Baiting us with promises of watching the Princess do battle on the high banks of Kansas Speedway and FORCING us to watch a bunch ‘O Women playing “Wackem-mobile” instead… SHEISA!

According to ESPN’s statistics, 63 million households have the iconic Classic channel, by which my math suggests is roughly one-fifth or 20% of the current U.S. population… So, if Indy Car is trying to reel-in new non-gearhead spectators, you’d better get a grip upon your Broadcasting partner…

As I decided to BOYCOTT watching the DELAYED TV Coverage, instead settling for the IMS Radio Broadcast via le internets, but I digress…

Hopefully this years Indy 500 will be a HELLA-LOT BETTER then the three ring Circus carnival held at Kansas… Because if this is the peenacle of Open Wheel Racing, then: Tony, we’ve got a Problem!

Here’s a quick lowdown of race highlights’;

Enrique “Half Gainer” Bernoldi performs his version of Danny Sullivan’s Spin ‘N Win with a solo 360 degree pirouette on lap one.

Marty Roth tries spearing a Luczo Dragon Racing pit worker while sliding into home base, err, his pit box. Which earns the Kuh-Nuck a Stop ‘N Go penalty, while dropping Tomas Scheckter to the rear of the field.

Apparently Mr. Roth was so shaken by the whole episode that he almost collected seven cars when returning to the race track at reduced speed before deciding to pull in and park his car for the day in order to change his shorts!

Milka Duno spins all by herself while departing pit lane.

EJ Viso spins out Tomas Scheckter, which ends the Southern Afrikaner’s 2008 race debut.

Vitor Meira retires once again after having struck a wayward tire during routine HA-HA! Pit stops, as ironically the tire came off of Jay Howard’s car and thus the Roth Racing driver earned a black flag.

Next , EJ “DON’T call me Ernesto” Viso was caught by the crack colour commentator Davey Hamilton throwing a series of blocking moves upon Edward Carpenter, while Dan-Dan-Danicher was displaying her bareback ridin’ skills by visiting the marbles up towards the Safer barrier, before falling fowl to a bizarre race retirement due to broken studs… Err, a broken wheel hub failure.

Next, while Buddy Rice was busy punching the sidepod of his Dallara and doing a half hearted Robby “DIRTMAN” Gourdoun steering wheel toss… Having missed ALL of the on-track competitors still standing… We’re treated to a 19 lap yellow flag caution period to clean the remainder of Rice’s Black ‘N Blue chassis.

And while all of that was going on, EJ Viso was busy pulling into the WRONG pit stall, which just happened to belong to Ed Carpenter who was in the act of pitting! And thus had to overshoot his pit stall and wait to be pulled back before getting nailed for being on pit lane when the yellow flag was thrown. Of which also caused race leader Scott Dixon to get pimped by the caution after having led the first 150+ laps… Dropping to seventh place, thus Dan “SPIKE” Wheldon claimed his very first victory in one year, having last won at Kansas in 2007, followed across the line by Tony “Follow your Snauz” Kanaan, while Scott Dixon rebounded to take the last podium step prior to the Month ‘O May.

And that F-BOMB I eluded to? I could SWEAR I heard Eddie Carpentier say the magic word FUCK while being interviewed immediately after the race about Ernesto is dis Juan mezs pit stall?

FOUR!

Welcome to the Princess Danicker Golf Classic… For all of those tuning in for the Kansas Indy Car race, we’ll join our regularly scheduled programming WHEN WE DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT!!!

Now back to more Women’s golf…

Image building

While Dan-Dan-Danicker… May be the hottest commodity on the market right now, nevertheless, rumours abound that seven times World Champion Michael Schumacher is set to cash in on his good looks and charming personality… Well ok, but hey, L’Oreal was indeed after all one of his personal sponsors and he is a legend…

And although his previous acting credits to date are highlighted by his voice-over role alongside Mr. Boogity-boogity-boogity in CARS… The chisel-jawed German will indeed play himself in the forthcoming Michael Schumacher Story according to long time manager Willi Weber.

Meanwhile, Herr Schumacher’s nine year old son Mick, has just completed his first go kart race, using his Mother’s maiden name (Betsch) instead, not to draw too much media scrutiny upon ones self, having finished 8th and 10th in the races two heats. Could we have another Schumacher prodigy in the making?

Danicker on the trot?

While there are apparently rumours making the rounds stateside that Rubens Barrichello could be part of a Honda F1 driver swap in 2009 for the services of Marco Andretti… This seems a bit cockeyed to me at the moment as the past two races has seen the Andretti namesake apologize two weekend’s in a row for “Rookie” mistakes. First having snapped a half shaft at St Pete in a hurry to leave the pits and then clouting the Safer barrier in Motegi on lap one on cold tires all by himself…

No, me thinks that instead Honda will seek the services of one media darling, a.k.a. Princess Danicker… As rumours suggest that Emperor Bernardo is keen to cash in on her good looks, in hopes she’ll become the first woman to succeed in Formula 1…

But seriously folks, although the other top teams, i.e.; Penske, Ganassi, Newman/Haas, Pat Patrick, Rahal, etc have all played the fuel mileage game at one time or another to achieve a win based solely on petrol conservation…

Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen wants to know; Would Danica have gotten her top notch ride if she was UGLY?

And I’d like to know how come other MORE Accomplished Females such as Katherine Legge and Sarah Fisher have NEVER gotten a proper chance aboard competitive machinery? As Motegi was Princess Danicher’s first victory since claiming the 2002 Toyota Celebrity Challenge in Long Beach. Enough said, eh?

And YES! I do know that a win is a win is a win… And therefore for those of you who just wanna know more about Danicker, you can read this “Be still my beating heart” story ‘bout Patrick’s rise to the top of motor racing as retold on the Late Night Show; On Letterman, is it Danica or Danicker?

Mosley standing tall

NO Jokes about a certain portion of Messer Maxums anatomy here… What’s that song about; Cry me a River, Nile? As it has now come to light that MAD MAX Mosley has accepted an invitation to attend the Jordanian round of the World Rally Championship (April 24-27) which is the first time that Rally Cars have raced in the desert since 1975. Hence, this diversionary trip shields Mosley nicely from running afoul of his flock of Seagulls, Err, supporters (nee CRITICS) in Barcelona…

As perhaps I’m the only “Juan” who finds it a bit humourous that Sir Maxxum is touting his business as usual mantra by seeking refuge in the desert oasis of Jordan, having accepted Prince Feisal Al Hussein’s invitation for the WRC event. Perhaps Al Husseinhas offered him to partake in a spirited round of Whack-em-mo-ball, a sport curiously akin to Polo and Cricket I’m told. Or if the heats too much for MAD MAX, perhaps he can cool off with a nice glass of ice tea while settling down to a pleasant game of tiddlie-winks with some of the Prince’s Desert Rose’s, eh?

Psst, Sir Maxxum… Did you see the Wind Tunnel interview with one of your closest allies, Paul Stoddart… It was a great interview saying how he’d be happy to come back into Formula 1 as soon as your head has been served up on a platter and how anybody else would have done the sensible thing and RESIGNED by now. But Mosley ain’t going anywhere soon, decreeing that he’d like to finish out his term and stay in office until 2009 before moving onto greener pastures. Wonder if Sir Maxxum will be popping up at the Hockenheimring this summer…

Open Wheel briefs

Contrary to popular belief… This isn’t a story about MAD Max Mosley, a.k.a. Sir Maxxum… No, just a comment towards an article I’ve seen somewhere recently while scouring the newswires when playing “Ketsup” from my most enjoyable "Puppy-luv" outing this past week. (Unfortunately I’m not High Tech like some of my contemporaries and therefore the Tibetan Pup’s are on Koda-chrome instead of Didge-it-tull)

Closing in on an F1 record
One forgotten source is claiming that Honda F1 pilot Rubens Barrichello will tie Ricardo Patrese’s all time Formula 1 starting record this weekend in Barcelona, but I believe this is incorrect.

Although it will be Rubino’s 256th Grand Prix, it will only be his 253rd start, while Patrese amazingly contested a total of 257 Formula 1 races between 1977-1993, a record that surely would never be broken… As there are currently only a handful of drivers to have eclipsed the 200 starts barrier, therefore my calculations predict that Barrichello will tie the record at Montreal on June 8th and surpass the affable Italian’s total at the French Grand Prix on June 22nd, thus Barrichello will finally have beaten one of Herr Schumacher legendary statistics…

Conquest switches drivers
With primary sponsor Opes Prime Ltd having fallen into receivership, Conquest Racing’s rookie driver (and best buddy of Vitor Meira) Frank Perera has lost his ride as team owner Eric Bachelart has sought the services (nee, sponsorship dinero) of Jaime Camara.

. Being a journeyman graduate of the Indy Pro Series, I have little knowledge of the driver other then he’s another Brazilian looking to find the limelight in IndyCars, which currently has six fellow countrymen competing in America’s top-flight Open Wheel Racing series…

PCM joins Indy Racing League
As previously noted, Pacific Coast Motorsports has announced their plans to join the Indy Car World Series with a single car effort beginning at Indy. Mario Boom Boom Dominguez will pilot the #96 entry sponsored by the Mexico City Tourism board, seeing a total of ten “transition” drivers and teams joining the IRL, with a total of 27 entries…

PATRICK WIN FAILS SNIFF TEST

Ok, you did it. Despite what Richard Petty, Mario Andretti, and Danny Bridges all said would never happen, you proved us wrong. The "Little Photo Opp That Could" did it . A mere 17.9 seconds down with just five laps to go was not even a concern with that convoy of big time proven drivers heading in for some super corn juice leaving only the Dancing Queen to pass who was only 10 to 15 mph off the normal race pace himself. Your team is happy, your parents are happy, Jack Arute is happy and the IRL is elated even though nobody saw the race on television. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying you can not defeat Dixon, Wheldon, Kanaan, Castroneves, Rahal, Power, Servia, Fisher, and Duno in an on the track, no fuel issue type contest. But the results this last weekend did seem a bit odorifous to some, but hey that was probably just a nearby landfill or some Motegi factory pumping pollution in to the air that people at the track were smelling. Who knows, maybe the combination of ethanol, hype, and sushi was what overtook some after the race. Now it is on to a whirlwind media tour that will no doubt lead to a sit down with Howard Dean of the DNC about being a VP candidate in November providing of course that Air Force One is made available to you to travel to and from all the IRL racing circuits each weekend. I will look forward to seeing you at Indy in a couple of weeks but I will not get the chance to say hello due to all the security and handlers that surround you every step of the way. But if the wind is just right maybe I will................UH forget it. Again, congrats and please do get me a coffee cup when you are on The View this week. Danny Bridges

Dan-Dan-Danica spotting

There’s No place like home, There’s No place like home, There’s No place like home, right Toto?

DAMN! Having to hit the MUTE button so many times last weekend as there she is… It’s Princess, Hail Dan-Dan-Danica… I wore out the batteries in my remote… And every time I turn on the radio or TV there’s another talking head telling me all about the magnanimous feat she’s accomplished! As I growled listening to two bobble-head DJ’s wrestle over whether you needed to pose half naked before or after you win your first motor race first thing Monday morning… Aye Karumba!

So, while Dan-Dan-Danica is making’ the talk show rounds… Look there she is giving us cooking tips with Regis and Kelly… And was that Princess on the View swapping beauty secrets with Bah-bah Walters? And then next she’ll drop by Elaine Degenerous before wrapping up the day with the Queen Bee Oprah…

So, Ize can’ts takes its NO More… And thus I’m off to check out some cute Tibetan Puppies for the next few days…

Strike the pose

IMS; July, 2007

Who’s dat Cool Cat? Yes indeedie, it’s none other than the Idahoan celebrity Mr. Hamilton… Who graciously adorned his limited first edition No Fenders T-Shirt all day at the Brickyard!

Way Too Cool! Thanks Davey…

Kingdom’s Damnation

As some of you will recall, I previously scribbled a story which included the tidbit about Davey Hamilton driving in this years upcoming Indy 500 in a third Marty Roth Racing entry.

I was” simply throwing this out there since I naively took my reputed source’s reply to my enquiry to be gospel… When asking; Who’s Davey Hamilton driving for? Upon having heard Hamilton mention his upcoming drive on Autosport Radio. Thus I ASS-SUMED that it must be old news if he was answering me about this, eh?

And all I can say is I got it from somebody in Indianapolis. (NOT Indiana Bureau Chief Danny B) Who’s obviously much closer to the Heartland of Motorsports than I. Thus, I can only speculate that this was either a bum steer given to a Blogger-head or the deal fell thru?

Thus I’m still in disbelief over the breaking news that Davey Hamilton will drive this May at the Speedway for Kingdom Racing, which Christopher “CHiPs” Estrada first broke the story on last week. As you’ll understandably deduce I’m a little gun-shy of any breaking news driver stories at the moment, having fallen foul to my previous story, although I still do NOT see any Official IMS entry listed for Kingdom Racing. (See; Marty Motegi for list of open Indy rides)

And I’m potentially going out on a limb here, but Mr. Estrada has thrown down the gauntlet so to speak, by asking you & me; What do you have to be Afraid of? (Besides the Boogie Monster, eh?) In his post: A small editorial on racing and religion

Perhaps I’m way off my rocker, (Shush Danny!) but I believe that just like Oil ‘N Water shouldn’t mix, neither should Church and State, nor Motorsports & Religion… Actually I have two major beefs with Motorsports at the moment, as I can hear Y’all saying ONLY Two?

Yet I firmly believe that first of all the Military should be FORBIDDEN from sponsoring racing teams, as I find this akin to Military recruiters frequenting Public Schools, predominantly High Schools, which should be verboten! And that’s without even going into the Tax Dollar$ at work sediments…

Secondly, I do NOT believe that any form of Religion should be allowed to own, operate or sponsor any Motor Racing teams, I mean by God! What in the HELL does this have to do with racing? Talk about the ultimate pitching of a product? While I realize previously Tobacco was a mainstay of motorsports and Alcohol is still quite prevalent, with such major sponsorship deals by Viagra, before taking its hard licks and dropping its sponsorship…

Yet, the thought of a Ministry motivated racing team such as Kingdom to me seems more then just a sponsorship endorsement and more a philosophy statement, of which we should not be forced to have thrown at us. I mean what’s next? I Believe license plates?

Thus in this newly Unified era of Open Wheel Racing, I’m finding it harder “N harder to (Rally behind the Troops) support various teams and drivers, of which I realize isn’t the drivers fault…

Yet, I have NO desire to root for Panther Racing’s Vitor Meira because of his affiliation with the National Guard, while I constantly wrestle with continuing to support my favourite ex-Champ Car, Err, Transition… Oh Crap that’s right, Indy Car World Series driver Justin Wilson who now drives for one of the largest Norte Americana Corporations… Yep, that’s right; I despise those BURNT Orange arches, a.k.a. Mac-Dougal’s.

Which brings me back to Davey Hamilton, who’s a really good guy and I wish him nothing but success, having previously intended to root for him this Month of May. But, now what do I do? As I simply cannot support Davey’s latest affiliation, yet is it Davey’s Vitor’s or Justin’s fault for doing deals to drive with such potentially provocative sponsors/teams? As I realize that they’re all racers just wishing to continue honing their craft in the profession they’ve chosen as careers.

And while I certainly would NOT wish injury to either driver, wouldn’t it be ironic if Paul “Chrome Horn” Tracy’s third Vision Racing entry sponsored by MONSTER Energy just so happened to land atop Davey Hamilton’s Kingdom Come race car at the Brickyard this May? Yeah, I know that supposedly Tracy’s lock on Monster sponsorship has theoretically faded… But I still think it would be funny!

Now, I’ve gotta run off to get my Happy Meal!