Monday, December 10, 2018

HYDROS: Discouraging Lack of local News Coverage for this year's long forgotten Seafair Regatta




The long forgotten and Short Lived U-95 Turbine Unlimited Hydroplane. (Image source: thunderboats.ning.com)
As apparently Hydroplane racing is dying a slow, agonizing death? Since it's unthinkable that one of Seattle's most cherished Sporting events No longer garners local Print media coverage...

Author's Note
This No Fenders tome was written the week following Seafair on August 5th, whilst on temporary Sabbatical in Tacoma, WA - In-between migrating South. But was subsequently "Washed Down" in Thy Move to Oregon and has been Bobbing in thou Surf ever since.

But what better time to rescue this Message in A Bottle than on a Winter's soggy Day upon Ye Oregonian Coast, 'R Mateys'

Perhaps you've previously read me here upon No Fenders ramblin' on about my formative years as a Seattle Youth when Unlimited Hydroplanes ruled the Roost in the Emerald City,
and was the largest Sporting event, especially before those Seattle SuperSonics Heated up en route to becoming World Champions in 1979!

Ironically the very same year another Warshintonion' legend won his very first Unlimited Hydroplane race aboard The Squire Shop! As the driver in Questione was none other than thou legendous' Chip Hanauer.

As my euphoria towards these magnificent flying boats includes a small Hydroplane Button collection, which includes a fairly unique U-95 button, for which this Hull was the Sport's very first-ever Turbine-powered Hydro.


Although I was in Oregon during the weekend of Seafair, nonetheless I found it extremely Disappointing when returning to Tacoma Monday evening following the race. (8/5) When attempting to learn the 2018 Albert Lee Appliance Cup's outcome via my NFB Newsline for The Blind telephone service.

Since I didn't feel like logging onto the All knowing "Intrawoods" late that evening, since as a Blind person, it's very difficult and annoying working "In the Dark!" Especially when Yuhs cannot see what you're reading; but I digress...

Alas, I found it Uber' embarrassing when scouring five of my former Home State's "vaunted" Newspapers, which Not only had NOTHING! Regarding the Unlimited Hydroplanes, whilst one of them doesn't even post news online until Wednesdays, which is Tuesday's regurgitated news; SHEISA!

First I tried the only viable newspaper remaining, The Seattle Times, although the Newsline version provided doesn't have a Sports section; WTF! And they've also gotten rid of the Other Sports section, so I only had the Northwest and Outdoors sections to choose from. Which naturally both had NOTHING!

As I Don't like bandying the word Discriminating around... But it's Uber' Disappointing that The Seattle Times Doesn't provide Full, 100% Access to its Newspaper for the Blind! Since I could find News upon the race only via their (Online) internet website's content, which includes the Sports and Other Sports sections...

Next I tried the Associated Press for Washington's Sports section, for which the only racing related news was who'd won the Northwest Nationals at Pacific Raceways in Kent, WA. Which I'm happy that Antron Brown broke his winless streak en route to scoring his 50th "Wally!" (winners trophy)


And The Seattle Post Intelligencer, which is a pathetic shell of its former self, with an anemic Online content version only, ironically was the only Newspaper of the five I searched in-State that had anything relating to Seafair. Although they just featured one story upon the late, famous Alvin M. Tex' Johnston's amazing display of Barrel Rolling not once, but twice the then experimental Boeing 367 Dash-80 Jetliner.


While the second story was on how to escape Seattle during Seafair weekend...

Next, for humour, just to confirm what I already knew, I selected the Tacoma News Tribune, better known as the "TNT," witch sadly only finds itself able to post news Online pathetically three days a week, Wednesday-Friday, with its content being from the day before; CRAP!

Which was even sadder when Wednesday's edition was finally available with a robust four riveting Stick 'N Ball stories in its Sports section; BARF!

And finally in desperation, I searched the Tri City Herald, since after all the Hydros' had roared upon the Mighty Columbia, which I crossed twice over Seafair weekend, the week prior in Kennewick, WA.

As I checked these five "News" sources contents for both Sunday's and Monday's articles, and find it a pretty condemning statement towards the allure of Unlimited Hydroplane racing in the State that the majority of the remaining competitors call Home, and are based out of.

Yet Surely? Don't Call me Shirley! The H1 Unlimited Hydroplanes Official website would be Chock O'Block Full of News, Righto?

STEEE-RIKE!

As it's pretty SAD that the sport's official website cannot even provide any substantive information upon how many competitors showed up for the weekend, or how Qualifying went; SHIT!

thus after spending copious amounts 'O time searching for any related material before giving up in Disgust! I'm left being only able to ARSE-sume' that the same nine Hydros showed up at the Stan Sayres Pits on Friday, August 3rd.

While I've still got NO Clue if the Unlimited Hull Cal Phipps was driving, the U-1918 Oberto was simply his U-27 ride renamed for the weekend? Or the two Warshitonian' events?

And it now seems like it was a bit Karmic that The Seattle Times published a story prior to this year's Albert Lee Appliance Cup about Jimmy Shane and the U-1 Miss Home Street being out of National High Points Championship contention, since Shane faltered once again.


As My Numero Uno' Driver and Boat, saw Andrew Tate and his U-9 Les Schwab giving Shane & Co. a good 'Ol Beatdown, after the U-1 was assessed a one minute penalty for two Milling period infractions.


As Tate's third victory of the year coupled with Shane's penalty saw the U-9 increase its National Points lead, although certainly this was overshadowed by Cal Phipps spectacular Blowover during the final race!

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

The Tomaso Files: Flounderin' round in Florence's flotsam...



Oregon's famous Haystack Rock during Sunset at Cannon Beach. (Image source: shutterstock.com)
Groan! Is he Scribblin' some more of his legendous Tomasoan' Dribble?

Whale', I haven't penned any riveting Tomaso Files tomes lately, so here goes, as Rucky' Uze Guys; Hya!

Alas, as Y'all would presumably know? I certainly Don't go for writing Click-bait stories here on No Fenders, which I'd be doing if so inclined to keep Thy Tradition of posting 200+ stories yearly, which I'll presumably fall just short of this December.

Whilst as Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary ELLEN has reminded me over thou years, I'm simply poondin' out material for Thyself and hence, shouldn't be worried about my weekly visitors tally.

But that said, and Nope, I Don't keep a running tally, except for infrequently having My Gal Lucy', My ARSE-Steamed Screen Reader read me thou Unique Visitors count - Along with realizing that traffic would naturally drop off during the Off-season, not to mention the Holidays, But...

My traffic's dropped measurably over the last month-pluses time, by approximately 50%! Since apparently Thars' far more IndyCar readers here on No Fenders than Formula 1?

And couple that with being barely able to write  stories fast enough when I'm supposed to be unpacking, (As ever wondered how a Blind Person Unpacks labeled Boxes?) and Viola! I simply wonder why I'm beating my Brains out trying to post stories for y'all, Eh?

I have to laugh to myself, noting that this October was the Twentieth Anniversary of surrendering my Driver's license do to my affliction to having Retinitis Pigmentosa, or RP for short, for which I've belaboured Y'all 'bout previously in;


Yet I still love Cars and Motor Racing, more specifically Open Wheel Racing in general. Having first been introduced to Formula 1 and then Indy Cars some thirty-plus years ago.

And why do I point out my Blindness to Y'all? Well imagine trying to unpack your life's possessions Blindfolded, Eh? Which in effect is what I'm doing very slowly after moving for the first time in 21yrs; Yowzah!

As I laughed at myself recently when trying to begin unpacking the Gynormous collection of Motor Racing and Automobile  books I've  collected those same three-plus decades.

Noticing after the first three or four boxes, for which I cannot read any of the labels I painstakingly attached to 'em. Am I even putting 'em in the Book case right side up? As surely somebody will eventually ridicule me for doing so, Righto!

For which I then spent further time removing them before placing each book individually underneath my CCTV (Close Circuit Television) reading machine to insure Thar all right-side U-P now; Eureka!

And then there's the whole issue of Depending upon Technology to Aid my Daily living as  a Blind person. For which every time I run into another issue, be it on Thy Confuzer', nee computer, telephone or one of my Talking Clocks.

For which the main Talking "Atomic Clock" I depend upon daily's currently having a Nasty Habit of defaulting back to Daylight Savings Time randomly, causing the Alarm to go off an hour early; FUCK!

And Yeah Smarty-pantz', I've put brand new batteries into it!

Yet speaking 'O Batteries, I was rudely reminded that the Smoke Detector's apparently hadn't been changed before moving in. When it began chirping incessantly at Midnight, the evening before the Abu Dhabi GP replay, GROAN!

As why do those batteries always Quit working in the middle 'O night? But I digress.

While I'm simply left scratchin' thou Noggin over this relentless Droning On over vehicle electrification and Ceaselessly Pushing for Autonomous Automobiles!

I mean, if the Goobers; Err Cadres 'O Coders at gOOgle' are so intent upon continuously changing the  appearance and interface of Blogger, Gmail, YouTube, et Al, then how will these RoboCarz' not run Afoul?

As I'll give Yuhs just one brief example. For NO reason at All.  Somebody decided that instead of when I use to log onto YouTube Lucy', My ARSE-Steamed Screen Reader would immediately say the word Search, indicating I was in the Search field and could merrily type my inquiry to find whatever I wanted.

But then a few months ago outta Duh Blue, it Quit Working; WTF? Before Blogmeister Miguel  figured out that I'd now need to select the Tab button trice; Err, three times to hear Lucy say the words Guide, YouTube Home  and then Search... Thanxs Google Bastardoes!

And NO Microsoft! You're Not Excused either! As you're actually causing a large Bone 'O Contention right now. As seriously? I've gotta either uninstall and re-install my MS Office programme simply to change my personal email address? Or more likely be forced to migrate to your yearly Money Grubbin' subscription based MS 2019 Office (model) software instead? SHEISA!


And speaking 'O email, Google's managed to change the interface code on its Gmail settings, hence making the No Fenders email Inbox almost un-navigable for Mwah; JACKARSES!

Whilst MOOHZillah's Not immune either, having long ago been forced to revert to a very old version of their platform 'cause Yuhs Guessed it! They decided to scramble Thar interface code making my Zoomtext Screen reading Software unable to read the Web! Defaulting to an Error Code every single time trying to access the Internetz'; BUGGERS!

As Gee Wally, guess what? Not All Blind and Visually Impaired People are rolling in Dinero', and hence cannot afford to constantly update their software or computing devices every Freakin' time thou Bastardos need to roll-out Thar latest Tokyo fly-by-Night Gee Whiz, Flash Bang upgrades!

AnyHoo, the long winded rambling point? Alas, I'm feeling overwhelmed, and thinking I'm gonna pull a "Jeffie" of One Lap Down Fame, and take some time off here. Although I'm not currently planning on going on a three month's-plus hiatus, but who knows?

As I'm gonna Force Thyself to take a brief respite from Thy Keyboard for the following week's time. Returning here on No Fenders on Tuesday, December 10th - In order to virtually recharge thou Batteries. As I'm gonna be Ultra Busy the next few weeks. So we'll see what I can bother to post the rest 'O December, and then perhaps I'll actually try taking some further time off at the beginning of January, Eh?