Wednesday, January 13, 2021

The Life of A Blind blogger

 

But does It really Matter what a Blindman Thinks, and Who Cares? Especially if He Cannot S-E-E the Computer Screen He’s trying to type his riveting Stories Upon…


As I was walking down the street one day” – SLAM! BASH! BANG! CRASH! Oh Never Mind at my witty repartee, Hya! Or my Not to that ‘Ol Chicago song Does It Really Matter What Time It Is?


The Tomaso Files: Hey Blind Man, Where do You think You're Going?


As I’ll try keeping this somewhat Short ‘N Sweet, Ha-Ha, Not! Especially since I’m still currently unable to post Blog Stories or run Speilchequor’, for which Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen chided me, You Never Speel things correctly anyways, so why Bother?


But if you’re a regular visitor to No Fenders, then you’ll definitely notice the lack of posts lately. As this is due to two main occurances. Whale’ may be three?


As Seriously? I went 15 Days in December without Any Freakin’ Email service ‘cause Spectrum kept making my Microsoft Outlook 2019 program Dump! Err, Crash, and I couldn’t Gory Send or Receive any Email unpil twice having my local Computer Tech Boffin’ Matt kindly restore my Outlook settings! Enabling me to send said material to Blogmeister’ Miguel for posting.


Since if you’re Blind, then you probably cannot SEE the Bloody Drop Down Menus, et Al necessary to reset your Account Settings Jackarses!


Being Blind, I thought whenever we improved technology it was to actually benefit us, and not be just for Changes Sake, Righto?


Yet I’ve been Shanghaied first by Blooger’, nee Google’s new P.O.S. Blogger platform interface, which I still cannot currently access, Sigh!


This is due in part to my new Zoomtext 2020 Screen Reader not wishing to cooperate, and for whatever technical reason, It won’t even let me enter the site, since it new screen reading voice “Zoey the Princess Warrior” sez’ End of document, Bullshit Sister!


Meanwhile, or as Ye Late Show’s Steven Cobert says: “Quarantine-while, Hya! Microsoft’s managed to apparently bring thou Curse ‘O Planned obsolescence to my Home, since I was Painfully informed that my wonderful 19-inch Square High Definition monitor wouldn’t work with winDOUGHS 10, ‘cause it wasn’t the new Wide-track’ Aspect Ratio, forcing me to upgrade to a new 24-inch rectangular Bitchin’ monitor as Randal, Thy No Fenders Moniker King would say. As Thars’ certainly been a whole lotta Bitchin’ here lately, but I digress…


Thus if you’re Blind like I am, and you’re slowly losing your peripheral vision, then Wider is Definitely Not Better! As having everythingy’ Stu-retched Out makes it infinitly Harder to See or Find upon the Screen! Not to mention Gory Difficult to “S-E-E” where the cursor is, or to find it in relationship to the word/letter you’re trying to highlight in order to change or manipulate…


And that’s before we even get into the colour changes, the text appearing “lighter” on-screen and a myriad of other issues, as “So it Goes!”


As I’m now literally Grasping at Straws! And haven’t been able to Blog since the beginning of August when some JackAlopes at Google thought they needed to Swoosh up their Blogger platform for NO reason!


Then waiting a further month’s time to get my new 24” monitor & Sound-bar plus a new printer delivered & installed, which I originally couldn’t get said printer to work, before Matt switched it over to Wireless…


Although the printing issue was partially due to Microsoft Updating Windows and reverting everybody’s Printer settings back to Default, URGH!


Since if you’re Blind, then you most likely CANNOT S-E-E’ the Drop-down Menu “Strip” where your printer settings are Hidden Jackalopes! Oh wait a My-Nute’, did I already say that?


All the while I’ve been Ah-Waitin’ patiently since October 29th for the Oregon Commission for The Blind (OCB) to actually Help me Solve the Host ‘O Technical Issues still unresolved to no Avail!


As I’d like to Arse-sume this ridiculously elongated waiting period is due to the current Budget Strain upon Social Services since every State and Cities are struggling with their budgets due to the COVID 19 Lockdown this past Spring. Since what’s the first thing trimmed from Government Budgets in a Catastrophe? Uhm, I’ll give Yuhs a Hint. It AIN’T the Military or Law Enforcement, Oh Never Mind!


As first we couldn’t schedule any In-Home visits due to Oregon’s two week Corona Virus “Freeze” between November 18th-December 2nd. And we’re still in a holding pattern due to Lane County being in the Extreme COVID 19 Category.


Then a few weeks later, I was finally informed that the Portland OCB Office couldn’t do any Remote Login sessions with me due to their Budget having been Cut by Oregon’s governor Kate Brown, which is part of the aforementioned Budget Deficit caused by the original Lock Down in March…


As why are Social Programs always affected Hardest? And how is a Blind person supposed to life independently if Thars’ NO Social “Safety Net,” Err Services to Help ‘em?


And then for the Cherry On Top of this Clusterfuck ‘O Technical issues, for reasons unknown, somebody at Spectrum, my Internet Service Provider simply turned Off my Email’s Send/Receive function W/O Any Warning! Claiming that my Password wasn’t “Strong” enough, but Seriously? You just turned it off without even Gory warning me? Leading to my not being able to send these riveting No Fenders Post to Blogmeister’ Miguel for uploading onto Ye Blog for over another week’s time, SHEISA!


Alas, All of these Never Ending IT issues which I cannot S-E-E which teeny weeny boxes to check or circles to fill in the Dots! Obviously has made my desire to attempt scribblin’ anything of substance for the No Fenders Blog that’s been effevtively Neutered at the very least by NO Fault ofMy Own, as Y’all know how Dan-Dan-Danicker’ once famously Quipped It’s Not My Fault! Has caused me to completely lose interest in writing anything, which naturally frustrates me greatly, since I thought technology was supposed to help us ‘N improve our daily lifes? And I Fail to understand why I’m forced to have to re-invent myself to technologies, nee IT Confuzer Boffinss’ Whims, Oh Never Mind!



As Thank You for your continued patience. Since I’m 86% certain it won’t be until the New Year that I might be able to post my very first Blog story Solo?


Uhm, now I’m hoping it’ll be before the 2021 IndyCar season begins, since I’m still on Hold…

Tomaso

Le Deush’ Crashes It’s Programming, Again!

 

But should we really be surprised by Ye Magical Kingdom ‘O Walt Disney and it’s Dizzying Shopping Networks Not Caring?


Heading into Ye Christmas Break, Obviously All of the News in motor racing revolves round Romain Grosjean’s Uber Scary Accident at Bahrain, which I’ll try getting to shortly. Although we’ve sorta moved on, especially with the unforeseen Deaths of SuperMario’s Twin Brother Aldo Andretti, whom apparently succumbed to the Dreaded Corona Virus at Age 80. Whilst the passing of John Paul, Jr. at Age 60 was more of a Shocker for Mwah. But as I’ve scribbled before, Motor Racing Never Sleeps!


Now having just learned of U.E. “Pat” Patrick’s Death at Age 91. As Patrick and El Capitano’, nee Roger Penske, along with Dan gurney are credited for the formation of CART, aka Championship Auto Racing Teams in 1979 after Gurney’s famous “White Paper.” Effectively the Blueprint for the founding of CART, the forebearer of today’s IndyCar. As only Roger Penske, who’ll celebrate his 84th birthday on February 20th remains from this trio…


MILLER: JPJ Should Have been Open Wheel Racing Great


But first, especially with the soothing tranquility of No major Motor Racing occurring, with the exception of this year’s Dakar. Suppose Y’all haven’t missed my grousing over ESPN2’s Taudry, Non-caring Attitude towards playing it’s Encore Presentations Stateside when they say they will, Righto?


F1: The Night ESPN2 Double Faulted at Flushing Meadows


Case-in-Point was the Turkish Grand Prix, remember that Y’all? Wayback on November 15, 2020. As somebody at ESPN2 decided at the last moment to move ther rebroadcast forward a Half-hour, which I Didn’t get the Memo, and naturally was Cornfuzed when I turned on thy Telie’ some 15+ minutes after the top of the hour, since I was curious what was playing then? And naturally was Peeved over having missed the race’s start!


Then Adding Insult to Injury – le Deush decided that instead of chopping one of those Fly In the Night Gyro Choppers $19.99 commercials. But Wait! If you act now we’ll send you a second Glow in the Dark Heli’ for only an Additional $5.95 shipping. Wait, what’s that you say Mothers Shoe Polish lady? Gasp, Sister! We’ll return immediately to exactly where we left off? Oh Never Mind!


Ye’ ESPN2 Bastards simply chopped out the Podium interviews instead! Which was Sacrilidge, since some Bloke I call Golden Child, nee Lewis Hamilton had just clinched his sevent Formula 1 World Championship. And we Didn’t even get to hear Sir Lewis’s Ah Shucks I’m speechless podium interview BASTARDOS


Naturally, the only thing that truly matters is that Romain Grosjean survived his Horrific Crash and is Alive and Well! As hopefully his Burned Hands have recovered fully by now.


Whilst I’ll admit now, that’s it’s become a wee Bitamyte’ foggy to Mwah, since it occurred awhile ago – And I didn’t bother Scribblin’ my initial thoughts immediately afterwards.

And Obviously SNAP! Oh where Art thou Jeffie’ of One Lap Down Fame? As I’m Arse-sumin’ I’m the only one who remembers his witty repartee ‘bout when Ye Graminator’, nee Graham Rahal used the word Obviously in his vernacular incessantly, but I digress…


Thus here goes Nothing, regarding what I recall, beside le Deush’ Screwing Me once again by “Magically” changing it’s airtimes without Any Warning Bastardoes!


Having fallen victim to ESPN2 moving it’s Turkish GP encore Presentation 30mins forward the race prior, I decided sometime after 7PM Pacific to warm up Thy Telie’ and see what was playing on ESPN2 after having been urged by Florencian F1 Spotter Jeannie to make sure I watched the Bahrain Grand Prix as the start was Amazing! And that’s All she was gonna tell me.


So I turned my television set on round 7:20PM for the listed 8PM replay and waited thru what seemed like an Uber’ long 5-6 minutes of Commercials before they came back to a Breathless Kroftie’, nee David Kroft exuding He’d Never seen a Crash like that in his life!


As this was at approximately 7:28PM Pacific, since I’ve gotten in the habbit of keeping my Talking Keychain Clock alongside me during TB Broadcasts since I’m always curious how long the Bleepin’ Commercials last! Err, I meant how Bloody Short each Ontrack segment is, but I digress further…


As all I could mutter outloud was WTF! What Gory Crash are you talking ‘bout? As you’re running an hour early you Mother Fokkers! Before ESPN2 proceeded to go 55mins W/O another commercial break, as I tend to recall my clock saying it was 8:25PM when that Mothers Shoe Polish sister Cooed’ her nauseating dribble onscreen.


And being Blind, have I mentioned that lately? “Watching,” Uhm Sitting in the Dark listening to a Formula 1 race at night during a Night F1 race is pretty much like seeing a “Triple Black,” ergo Black on Black on Black Dodge Hemi’ Cuda’ for Mwah, i.e.; black body paint, black vinyl top and a solid black interior, Get It? (Which I’ve actually seen one previously) When I’m trying to stare at the TV Screen…


Thus I couldn’t see KC’ Karun “Cowboy” Chandhok’s Frame-by-Frame Super Slow-Motion Disection of Romain’s crash. Ok, freeze It right there! Now you can see this tiny piece of Dirt coming towards Romain before he cranks the wheel Hard Right! Seriously?


As I Don’t remember who the culprits up front were? Since naturally All of the focus centered round Grosjean’s wicked looking crash with it’s ensuing Fireball! Since I do recall once briefly being able to see my TV Screen becoming a very bright yellowish colour momentarily! As Kroftie’ and Martin Billybob’ Brundle prattled on ‘bout it recalling Shades of Niki “the Rat” Lauda’s scary accident at the famed Nurburgring’s “long course” Wayback in 1976! When Niki almost burned to Death and was given last rights at Hospital!


And I wasn’t aware that the ubiquitous Armco Steel Barriers are actually constructed of multiple sheets together. Since I couldn’t figure out how Grosjean’s Haas VF-20 Split the Armco Barrier into Half! Although we must consider it to be very lucky that Romain’s car didn’t strike one of the posts holding said Armco squarely Head On, since My ex-Austin F1 Sherpa Claudio’ told me it appeared that Grosjean’s car crashed with the posts a meter appart on either side…


Thus for Mwah, it was much more Chilling listening to the printed reports via my NFB Newsline for The Blind’s telephone service of Romain describing in total clarity the sequene of events that occurred during his being trapped in a burning cockpit for 28 seconds! Not to mention him giving the Doctor of the F1 Medical Car SHIT for the way he was speaking to him after assisting him away from the Fire.


As it was quite eerie hearing Romain talk so calmly about at first thinking he must be upside down so he’d just wait for some track Marshall’s assistance, before looking in his mirrors
and seeing some flames. Trying to get out he get’s caught on something and sits back down in the car to think it over. And then noticing his gloves which are red turning a different colour he realizes his entire car is on fire and he needs to get out and pulls with All of his strength to unlodge his foot, which I believe pulls off one of his driving Boots, twists his body and shoulders and miraculously extricates himself from a burning racecar!


As I’m only sad he didn’t get to have his wish of finishing his Formula 1 career by racing at Abu Dhabi’s season finale, but totally Applaud him for forgoing racing in order to not cause further damage to his still healing burned hands, since obviously his F1 Career will be remembered by his escaping his burning racecar at Bahrain…


Although this twist ‘O fate did allow Pietro fittipaldi, Grandson of some legend named Emmo’, nee emerson Fittipaldi to make his Formula 1 Debut and contest the truncated season’s final two races.


Photographer Describes the Horror of Romain Grosjean’s Accident at the 2020 Bahrain Grand Prix

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Happy Holley 4-barrel Holidazes, Y'all

Groan, he's at it again... In what’s now become a tradition here on Nofendersville. Where your Humble Scribe Tomaso tortures Y’all with his witty repartee of his version of poetry from a much overused theme, Hya!


As Merry Festimus' Y'all, from Ye Mystical Isle 'O Nofendersville, a Happy, Joyous, Contented piece 'O Wind Swept Barren Rock, Somewheres' on thou Oregonian Coast between Winchester Bay and Cape Perpetchua, R' Mateys!


Although it's a somewhat Blue, Blue Christmas, since unfortunately that Fine Kuhnaidiun' Lass Claire's No longer with us. Not to mention Ye Rhythm Professor, thou one ‘N only Neil Peart…


And Betcha thought I was gonna Roll with 'Ol Elvis's Blue-Blue-Blue platter, Eh? But Claire would want something a 'lil more up-tempo Me Thinks!


VIDEO: The Muppets - Jingle Bells


As may be it’s ye Eggnog... But I always think of my favourite Two Hosers this time ‘O year, Fa la la la la lah…


NO! Not thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown and thou Young Wicky! (Robert Wickens) Nor Scott "What Pace Car?" Goodyear & Jockess V, nee Jack Vanilla, aka Jacques Villeneuve. Nye Pat "The Carpenter" (Carpentier) Nor TAG', nee Alex Tagliani or our Newest Hoser Dalton Kellett, but I digress...


Nope instead, per tipicali this time 'O year, those loveable KuhNucks Bob & Doug always come to mind, along with thar signature version of a certain Christmas song! And ah One, and Ah two Ladies ‘N Germs…


On the First Day 'O Carmania, 'Ol Carroll Shelby Grumbled Squarely at Me;

Son, Thar better be Juan 'O my Darn Blasted Contraptions in your Pitiful Song!


On the Twelfth Day 'O Carmania, 'Ol shel Grumbled to Thee,


12 Long's Doughnuts

11 X Rows of Shiny Dallara's

10Speeding Ferrari's

Nine BOSS Mustangs

eight 'lil E No. 88 Diecast's

Seven Bars 'O Geddy Lee


VIDEO: RUSh - Where's My Thing


Six Carling Black Labels'

Five Aston Martin DB5's'

four Borg Warner Trophies

three Diamantina Cocktails'

Two Saleen Mustangs

And a Bad Arse 289 FIA Shelby Cobra underneath thou Tree!


As this witty repartee from Thy Isle 'O Nofendersville was inspired by Bob & Doug McKenzie, for which they'd definitely say; Take Off Eh! As this "Song's" Definitely Done, and that Labatts too Hoser!


VIDEO: Bob & Doug McKenzie's 12 Days 'O Christmas - Song


And to All who continue reading thy Blog, and Ah-Waitin’ Thy Return, which is my New Years Goal! Ah Very good Night! Felice Navidad and Merry X-Mas! Since after all, It is the most wonderful; BARF!


See Y'all in 2021, Honest! As I’ve gotta be able to get the IT Boffins to Fix this Gory Blasted Contraption, El Correctomundo?


And Kudos to Blogmeister’ Miguel for continuing to post random No Fenders stories for Mwah…


Arrivederci

Tomaso

 

Right Idea Wrong Team, Wrong Time Right Idea

 

As guess that’s what happens when Yuhs Step Away from the Intrawoodz’ for a little while. Or le Deush’, aka ESPN2 Whimsically Decides to Change it’s Airtimes, Eh?


As where are Yuhs Doctor John? As you’ll understand why that ‘Ol Tune ‘bout being in the Right Place at the Wrong Time immediately sprang to mind late Friday night (December 4th) after I’d sent my Sports Car Fantasia post the the Printers so to speak, albeit apparently Ye Printing Press on Nofendersville Isle runs on Island Times itself, Hya!


VIDEO: Dr. John – Right Place, Wrong Time


Although Kudos to Blogmeister Miguel who’s continued posting my few No Fenders rants whenever possible! Due to Ye Myriad ‘O Confuzer Technology issues continuously Swamping your Head Scribe Tomaso’s “log cabin” on thoust Isle of Nofendersville, but I digress!


Alas, I Burst Out laughing when hearing the News via my NFB Newsline for The Blind’s ESPN Online Motorsports Headlines section that Jimmy Johnson and a different All Star Cast would be piloting the #48 Action Express Racing’s (AXR) Caddilac Dpi VR at the fast approaching 2021 24 Hours of Daytona, slated for January 30-31.


As Silly Me! Thinking that just because ‘Ol JJ’, nee Jimmy Johnson had joined forces with Thee Cheepster’, nee Chip Ganassi to pilot the eponymous Chip Ganassi Racing (CGR) Championship Calibre Squad’s newly anointed #48 Dallaran/Honda IndyCar beginning in 2021 on the Twisties’ portion of the NTT IndyCar Series calendar, nee Temporary Street Circuits & Permanent Road Courses. Whith his “Good Budddy” TK’ Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan running the Ovals - He’d be racing the 3.56 mile Daytona International Speedway’s road course for CGR this coming January.


Instead Johnson will be contesting the Rolex 24 aboard one Bad Arse Motor Finger’ of a Caddy’ from a Brother of a Different Mother’s All Star Driving line-up! As Jimmy will be joined behind the Keyboard of his borrowed number 48 Prototype’s mount with Symone’, nee Pageantry’, aka Simon Pagenaud, the 2019 Indianapolis 500 Winner and 2016 IndyCar Series Champion. Mike Rocky’ rockenfeller, a previous Rolex 24 winner, ironically with AXR in 2010. Plus Overall victory in the 2010 24 Heurs du Mans, alon with being the 2013 DTM Champion.


Last but certainly Not least of this AXR Mega’ Driver’s Quartet is One of my favourite Under-appreciated Sports Car Aces, affectionately known here at No Fenders simply as “K Squared,” aka Kamui Kobayashi who sports two Rolex time-pieces from winning the 2019-2020 Daytona 24 Hours with Wayne Taylor Racing. (WTR)


As Paul Miller Racing, who campaigns a Lamborghini Huracan GT3 Evo in the GT Daytona (GTD) class, will loan it’s traditional car number 48 to Johnson and Action Express Racing’s effort, run in conjunction with Hendrick Motorsports to honour the Seven Times NASCAR Champion.


Meanwhile the reigning Cup Champion Chase Elliot who’ll also be racing in the 2021 Rolex 24, will presumably be making his Sports Car Prototypes Debut when he Co-Drives the team’s Full-season mount, the #31 Whelend Engineering Caddy’ with it’s Drivers Pipo Derani and Felipe Nasr, joined by Mike “Ice-Ice, Baby!” Conway Me Thinks.


Thus, Chip Ganassi Racing will certainly only be running it’s lone Caddilac Dpi VR at Daytona with Haas F1 Team Castoff Kevin Bacon’ Magnussen and Renger van der Zande. While Arse-sumedly Scotty thee Iceman 2.0’ Dixon will be it’s Endurance Rounds Chauffeur, leaving me to guess that Tony Kanaan will be it’s fourthHot Schue’ at Day-Toner’, Eh?


Right Bat Channel…But once again, the Wrong Time! As I just naturally Arse-sumed that Formula 1 would be on at Oh DARK-30’, and although quite curious over how George Russell would perform in Lewis Hamilton’s Merc’, I hadn’t planned on getting up to watch Bahrain’s Double Header’s Sekir GP Qualifying session. Yet my internal clock wouldn’t let me sleep, so I decided I might as well get up at 6:20AM to “Watch,” Err listen to the end of Qualie’ Saturday morning.


Turning on Thy Telie’, I was immediately Cornfuzed’ over Martin Billybob’ Brundle talking leisurely from one of the track’s corners before they went to commercial, which they Don’t do during live Qualifying. So I had to Chuckle over having guessed that the listing for F1 Racing from 5:55-7AM Pacific was the third F1 Practice session instead.


And with 2hrs and 10mins remaining for la Scuderia (Ferrari) to change ‘lil Syd’ viddle’s Power Unit, nee PU, I’d get to watch the entire Qualie’ session Commercial Free at a Uber’ pleasing 8:55AM instead!


As naturally the Debate will still be raging on over the Off Season regarding Russell’s magnificent performance in Golden Child’s mount, the All conquering Mercedes W11


As Russell at 6-feet 2-inches tall, is quite a bit taller than Lewis Hamilton, as the 22yr Old Russell even had to resort to wearing Driving Boots one size too Small for him to fit into Hamilton’s cockpit!


As we know that George qualified P2 behind Valtteri Bottas on Pole by 0.026 of a second! Not to mention simply Waxing Valtteri in the race, that Russell clearly should have Won on his Werks’ Mercedes F1 Debut!


But Mercedes had what Team Principal Toto Wolff said on TV. I know I’m Not supposed to say this but it was a Collosal Fuck Up! Regarding the team’s attempt at Double Stacking it’s cars during the Safety Car period ironically caused by Jack Aiken substituting in Russell’s normal Team Willy’, nee Williams F1 mount!


As we All know that Mercedes uncharacteristically got it All Wrong, putting Bottas Front tyres on Russell’s Merc’, which is strictly Verbotten! As it just went All Pear shaped for both Mercedes Drivers from there, leading to a very popular Debutante Win for Sergio Perez after 10yrs and 190 Starts in Formula 1!


And while I won’t dispute that Lewis Hamilton’s an Amazingly talented Driver, I still Bristle over his Arrogant Quote after winning the Turkish Grand Prix ‘bout how now you cannot say it’s just the car, as I lapped my team-mate today who’s in a similar car.


Uhm, Excuse me Lewis, but it is the Car! And would you be cleaning Nico Rosberg’s Clock weekly if he was still your team-mate? As Bottas is NO Slouch, but it’s painfully clear that he’s just a No. 2 Driver who’s not only had rotten luck, but I’d surmise has been Beaten Down by Toto Wolff Always putting things in your favour Lewis!


As Don’t get me Wrong, Hamilton’s abundantly talented behind the wheel, whilst Russell was eager to seize his golden opportunity. As the lanky Brit has plenty of talent himself, having won both of today’s FIA Formula 3 and Formula 2 championships before graduating to Formula 1 with Team Willy’ as a Mercedes Junior driver.


But like Max Verstappen has said previously I believe. How many other Drivers on the F1 Grid would Blitz the field in the Mercedes? And would we be “Lionizing” Sir Lewis if he’d been driving the Williams All thise years instead?

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Sports Car Fantasia

Could It Happen? Only time will tell…


Otay, so this is just pure 100% conjecture, but; That’s what All of us “Bench Racers” and lowly Bloggers do during the Off-season, even if Thars still two Formula 1 races remaining.


By now, I’m Arse-suming Y’all have heard the News that Kevin Bacon’ Magnussen will become a Tintops’ Driver next year, after the announcement that the Danish F1 Pilote’ who’s lost his drive at Haas F1 for 2020 will b moving Stateside in 2021.


As Magnussen will race for Thee Cheepster’, nee Chip Ganassi Racing’s rebooted IMSA Weathertech SportsCar Championship team, campaigning a Caddilac VR Daytona Prototype International (Dpi) machine, albeit I’ve got Zero Clue if this will be the ex-Wayne Taylor Racing (WTR) mount?


And I’ve also either read on Racer.com perhaps? Or Heard somewhere that Chase Elliott will contest next year’s Rolex 24, presumably for Caddilac since he’s a GM Driver. While we know that NASCAR Seven Times Champion Jimmy Johnson will be making his IndyCar debut for CGR next year on the Twisties’, while TK’ Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan will drive Jimmy’s #48 Dallara/Honda IndyCar for the Ovals, including the Indianapolis 500 the next two years.


Thus where am I going with this you may be asking? And like I said before it’s just total Speculation, but! How Cool would it be if Cheep’ were to run a second Caddy’ Prototype at next year’s Daytona 24 Hours?


As this All Star entry would featurer Jimmy Johnson, chase Elliott, Tony Kanaan and Scott Dixon at it’s controls! While Ganassi’s primary season-long Caddilac would see it’s two regular drivers Kevin Magnussen and Renger van der Zande joined by CGR’s other two IndyCar Schues’ Marcus Ericsson and CGR Newcomer Alex Palou.


As the second Caddilac VR Dpi could come from and be run by Juncos Racing, who I believe still has their #54 Caddy’ Dpi parked in it’s Indianapolis, Err Speedway Shop, Righto?


Yeah I know, we shouldn’t ask too much for Christmas, as it’s just a wishful thought. Although I’m also hoping to hear where Ryan Briscoe winds up? Since he’s the driver who needs a ride the most after being let go by WTR…

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

No Fenders remains Stuck in Limbo...

Although Surely, Hey Don't Call me Shirley, Hya! No Airplane Jokes Here! Y'all Haven't been Holding Your Collective Breaths, Righto?


Or turnin' Bleu', or is it Purple? Like those loveable but forgotten Smurfs, Eh? As Hello once again my loyal, remaining No Fenders readers...


For those who care, I'm Still Stuck in 1st gear, or is it Reverse? Since my winDOUGHS 10' Confuzers' been back to Ye Computer Shop again for a Gory Third time, and now all I need is a new winDOUGHS 10 compatible Monitor, Printer and presumably switching over to Zoomtext Fusion 2020, albeit I've never successfully mastered the plain 'Ol Zoomtext 2020 Screen reader Software which reputedly Don't work since I've fought against the Planned Obsolescence of buying a Bitchin' New Rectangular monitor as Randal', Thy Monitor King would croak; URGH!


And Yeah, I won't pull too many "Iceman" Puns upon Yuhs. Y'all Don't know who the Iceman Kuh-Kuh-Kuh-Choo' is? As I stole that witty repartee from a recent Mark Thee Iceman" Worman episode of Graveyard Carz from awhile ago now, which is one of the few TV Shows I currently watch weekly - whenever it Airs. Mostly in Deference to it coming outta my adopted Backyard, nee Springfield Oregon just 90mins away from Ye Coast, But I Digress...


AUTOS: A Few TV Car Show Rewinds


As Hopefully they haven't been ravaged by the Fires Engulfing Oregon! since I've got Zero Clue how close the Holiday Ranch Fire was to Springfield, but my 'lil Transistor Radio was Squawking multiple Emergency alerts towards being prepared to Evacuate for several Days!


Having already seranaded Y'all 'bout the ridiculously Idiotic travails of why I haven't been posting any riveting, Uhm ramblin' eclectic thoughts 'bout Der Vurld' de Motorsporten; Ja-Ja! Here upon No Fenders lately, with the exception of the few Blogmeister Miguel's been kind enough to post for Mwah before Dislocating his Shoulder; YOUCH!


As Thanks Microsoft, Zoomtext and Most of All, Google; NOT! For which the "New & Improved, Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge" Hideous Blogger Platform's interface I'd used for nearly 14yrs to post everythingys' now affectionately known here on Nofendersville simply as Blooger' since it's now a Piece 'O Shit!


Technology Rears its Ugly Head Again...


Or for an even more Scathing post upon Ye gOOgle Monster's STUPIDITY! Uhm, ergo Brashness of turning Blogger into another Rotting Corpse, Yikes! For which I'd really like to Shake the Head Clown in Charge's Hand; Err Slap Him/her on Thee Back for this Mega Clusterfuck!

Google's New Blogger Interface Does Not Work Properly


Although trusty Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen who's told me many Ah-Time 'bout how one day civilization will discover this unique Tex-Mex' Jumbaliah 'O Word Smithing I've used here upon Ye Isle 'O Nofendersville for over a Decade now as Tomasan' and simply wonder in Amazement what it means; Aye!


But on a somewhat more serious note, she asked why can't I simply do like Emily Dickinson did whilst awaiting solving my Myriad 'O Confuzer' nee Computer problems, Eh? Notably how winDOUGHS 10 and Zoomtext 2020 currently won't interface correctly on my machine with each other, before I can even "SEE" if it'll work on the new P.O.S. Graphically "Enhanced" Blooger blogging platform?


As I'd never heard of Emily dickinson before, which is somewhat strange since she's lauded as being America's Best ever Female Poet. And I was surprised to learn her story some Gory 134 years following her Death in Bloody 1886; Aye Karumba! Having Died at the Age of 55 on May 15, 1886.


Having never heard of Miss Dickinson before, Mary Ellen told me the story of how she prolifically wrote some 1,800 Poems unknown, which were only discovered by her younger sister after her Death and then subsequently published! Although somehow I Doubt this will occur for Mwah...


Emily Dickinson's I Felt A Funeral in My Brain


Alas, as the Time-Space Continuum merrily continues marching on uninterrupted, regardless of what's happening in our life's. Having just finished listening to my Debutante Tom Robbins tome Tibetan Peach Pie, his only work available in thoust preferred 'Ol School CD Audiobook format from ye local Library.


'Ol "Tommy Rotten's" Sardonic travails of his life ultimately as a successful Novelist made me proclaim that Writing my No Fenders Blog is a Privilege, not a Necessity, albeit I enjoy doing so as my Daily Ritual, which I suppose is why I'm so tied in Knots over Not being able to easily do so on Microsoft's latest creation, BARF!


And whilst Name Dropping, Messer Robbins notes his various encounters with the late Timothy Leary, claiming they became friends, which weirdly made me immediately Flash Back to a Great Old Groovy classic tune by The Moody blues.


VIDEO: Moody Blues - timothy Leary's Dead


Whilst Messer Robbins wraps up his latest novel by briefly mentioning the terms Manifestation vs. Imagination, which I suppose is totally Apropos in All walks of life along with the Serendipity of Coinciding nicely with Ye late Messer Leary, Righto?


As Robbins mention of Leary, plus his partaking in visiting Hate Ashbury in 1967 during the "Summer of Love," which he and his Girlfriend visited made me Flashback to Arse-sumedly Jefferson Airplane's GURR-REATEST' Song? Or at least my favourite, simply titled White Rabbit; Sing It Grace!


"One Pill Makes You Larger

One Pill Makes You Small

And the Ones Mother Gives You

Don't Do Anything at All

Just Ask Alice

When She's 10 Feet Tall


And if You go Chasing Rabbits..."


VIDEO: Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit


Obviously Ye Indy 500's come 'N gone since my Blogging career was temporarily Derailed, for which I've got another riveting Two-part Harmony, Err 2 Part No Fenders tome Ah-Waitin' posting. But as previously mentioned above, I've got ZERO Clue when this will happen, as Thanks Blooger', Bastardoes!


And that was before All of the West Coast Caught on Fire during and following the traditional ending of Summer, i.e.; Labour Day weekend. For which I know California's in way worse Devastation, but Over 10% Oregonians have been Forced to be under Evacuation orders to Depart their Domiciles at Moments Notice; SHEISA!


Not to mention the Horrific Smokeyness we've been enduring for over a week's time when I was trying to finish this ramblin' tome.


As it looked like the consistency 'O Chocolaty Brown Milk whenever I went outside the first few days when Thar weren't No Sun!


Not to mention it took me three days to realize there weren't any Bird noises coming from my Pine trees...


Alas, enough of Ye Debbie Downer' talk I suppose, Eh? As Ye World of Sports has been transfixed by Football; Hut-Hut Omaha! Since Arse-sumedly All of Gory Americre' is now Foaming at the Mouth over some professional Pigskins being tossed about and Motor Racing takes it's proverbial Backseat, Righto?


Although I must confess I've somewhat enjoyed the Self Enforced Sabbatical from Blogging Blooger's provided Mwah, especially since it's the worst time 'O year for when I Cannot S-e-E the Gory Confuzer' Screen and what I'm working upon during Summer's transition to Fall.


But I do still plan to continue Blogging here at No Fenders one day soon in earnest again, when I'll be fully 100% Functional, which now is my Goal for 2021 when Hopefully we'll Ring in a Much Better Year!


As Thanks Y'all for your Continued Patience...

Tomaso


VIDEO: Peter Gabriel - Don't Give Up


Partial Song lyrics from:

Jefferson Airplane

Song: White Rabbit

Album: Surrealistic Pillow

Year: 1967

 

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

MOTO GP: More 2020 Calendar Revisions, Marquez undergoes further Surgery, Likely Out for Season means Title's Wide Open

As only a titanium plate could slow Marquez Down! And the reports of breaking it opening a "large" window makes me recall when Juan Pablo Montoya reputedly Slipped on a Tennis Ball, Cough-Cough!


Obviously I had Zero Clue of the Uber Nasty Trick what I'll now forever refer to as Blooger', nee Blogger would play upon me and many other unsuspecting members of the Blogosphere this past August, whom rely upon Blogger to Post their Stories; SIGH! Hence, naturally this No Fenders tome is slightly dated...


For Mwah, I currently find the world's premiere Road Racing Kneedraggers, a la MotoGP far more interesting than the current state of Formula 1, albeit the Italian F1 rounds were Mega Chaotic!


Which I suppose is why I was intending to find myself Scribbling more 'N more about MotoGP here on No Fenders lately - Before Ye gOOgle Munster's Blooger' struck me squarely Amidships, Torpedo! "You Sunk My Gory Battleship!"


Thus if you're following this season's MotoGP now available on big NBC and NBC Sports, then you probably already know that the last three remaining Flyaway' races outside Europe have been Cancelled awhile ago now.


Argentine, Malaysian and Thai MotoGP races Cancelled, New European Season Finale to be Announced


Whilst subsequently the presumed Portimao season finale's been confirmed, taking part on November 22nd, with the racetrack to be resurfaced prior to the MotoGP race.


Portimao confirmed as 2020 MotoGP Finale


Meanwhile, Marc Ye Pinball Wizard Marquez has suffered another setback, after needing further surgery to replace the titanium plate aiding his broken right upper arm's recovery, after it was found to be bending under stress.


And whilst the Doctors claim Marquez did nothing wrong. Me wonders if the reports of him doing Push-ups just days after surgery, or was it just 24hrs later? In his efforts to be deemed medically fit to race in Jerez's second MotoGP round had anything to do with this?


Blow for Marquez, Forced to undergo second Surgery


Marquez belatedly had a second surgery to replace this titanium plate with presumably a new beefed up version and subsequently missed that weekend's Czech MotoGP round. And now appears most likely to sit out the entire 2020 MotoGP season.


Honda's Marc Marquez to be Out of Action a further 2-3 Months


And with the IndyCar Mid Ohio Double Header cancellation, Err postponement over August 8-9, you'd think there would have been ample Air-time to show the Czech MotoGP round at a more soothing time than Oh Bloody Dark-30 for those of us on Ye West Coast! Righto?


As here's what I could find for the current MotoGP Airings on Big NBC & NBC Sports, albeit it's now a Wee Bitamyte' Dated.


Since obviously there's been multiple TV Programming Revisions, with this one Dated July 15th - But it Doesn't seem entirely Accurate - since my Zap2It' TV Guide claimed that the Barcelona round would Air at a very palatable 1:30PM Pacific on NBC Sports on Sept 27th instead...


NBC Sports 2020 MotoGP Broadcast Schedule Revisions


Yet I'd rather get up at 4-Bleepin' 30 AM to watch the MotoGP races vs. what asuredly will be another Mercedes Whitewash, Y-A-W-N! With Golden Child, nee Lewis Hamilton having a Gory 66.6% winning Average prior to the Russian Grand Prix, where presumably he would tie DER TERMINATOR's, aka Michael Schumacher's F1 Career Wins record tally of 91 wins; SHEISA! Before Lewis Shot Himself in his own Foot!


Thus I've gotten Up at Oh Dark-30' on Ye West Coast multiple times now, which I will Not do for Formula 1 Anymore In order to watch; Err listen to these ultimate Kneedraggers! Bloody Hell, I even skipped another Toy-Yoter' parade at Le Mans in favour of the San Marino MotoGP round.


Could Quartararo be MotoGP's first Non Factory Champion?


I first did so for the Czech MotoGP round at Bruno, which was a wonderful race. Although the two British Talking Headz' seemed to slightly Disagree upon the exact year, saying it was either 1973 or '74, whenever records of such ilk began being kept, that it was the first time ever in MotoGP History that two Frenchmen had started a Grand Prix 1-2! They also noted it was 1980 when Kenny "The King" Roberts had last won three in-a-row races aboard a YamaHopper', nee Yamaha; YIKES!


and presumably the startling MotoGP Rookie Brad Binder in only his third ever MotoGP start, who Shockingly won KTM's first ever MotoGP race since Thar arrival in 2017, surely is the first ever South African to win a MotoGP event, El Correctomundo?


MotoGP History maker Binder - This is Insane


Then Thars' the Symmetry 'O Dovi', nee Andrea Dovizioso and Ducati Corse Breaking Up, with Dovizioso's announcement of leaving at season's end and then winning the Austrian Grand Prix One Day later!


Before the second Spielberg Red Bull Ring's Styrian Grand Prix had our third first time MotoGP winner, when the totally unexpected Portugese rider Miguel Oliveira Shocked everyone with his last lap last corner pass for his and KTM Satellite Squad Tech 3's maiden Big Bikes Win's!


But as 'Ol Derek Daly used to pontificate: "Hang Onto your Hollyhocks!" As we're not done yet with inaugural MotoGP winners, Mates. As next in the Queue was VR46 Academy member Franco Morbidelli, Arsumedly NO Relation to that 'Ol, Forgotten Formula 1 Pilote Gianni Morbidelli, Ci?


Surely Y'all remember Gianni as Scuderia Ferrari's Test Driver being Drafted into Formula 1 racing action late 1991 after "The Professor," aka Alain Prost was Fired by la Scuderia! Hmm, may be I'm showing my age Thar, Eh? As Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen enjoys reminding Mwah...


Big Uncle Valentino and His Fountain of Youth


And there was the Second-Second, Err "Pizza-Pizza," Hya! Round No. 7 San Marino MotoGP round at Missano, where my current Freak 'O Year Francesco Pecco' Bagnaia, who finished runner-up the week prior in his return to racing with a Broken Right leg; Aye Karumba!


Should have won his maiden MotoGP race on Home Soil before inexplicably crashing out whilst leading with seven laps remaining, ahead of eventual winner Maverick Top gun' Vinales, who finally notched his season's first W'.


And that's just leading up to the season's Halfway mark during this year's unbelievably Topsy Turvy MotoGP season, with the Championship still totally wide open, albeit Fabio Quartararo took back the points lead with his third victory this season at Barcelona.


Yet the Rider who seems to be on the podium most lately is the relatively unmentioned Joan Mir, who seems to be getting the better of his Suzuki team-mate Alex Rins, although in Rins defense, he's been recovering from injury this entire year-to-date...