Thursday, August 22, 2019

Return of Ye Reclusive Scottish Speedwagon'



 But is It A Bird, Car or Band? And What am I Squakin' about?

Ahoy Mateys', just Shakin' off the latest remnants 'O Salt Spray from thoust Seas of Synchronicity here upon Thy Isle 'O Nofendersville...

Having just finished literally musing over how I find Thee Young Wicky's (Robert Wickens) predicament somewhat akin to whom I've returned to playfully calling Dario REO Speedwagon' Franchitti last week. As I'll refrain from my previous taunts 'O Dashley LePew!

Naturally I'd run across the Reuters article noting how Franchitti will make his return to the cockpit for the first time since his retirement in 2013 at this year's forthcoming Goodwood Revival, where he'll be "Slumming" in a 1960's era Ferrari 250 GT SWB and AC Cobra.


As what 'lil Nuggets of Astoundment will Kevin Lee enlighten us with this week at Gateway? Since first he broke the News of the Stork arriving at the Dixon's during Iowa's Rain Delay.

Then I heard him waxing on with Dario during Pocono's track inspection during Practice over his upcoming return to the cockpit...

Whiles I'll leave Y'all with a titillating song from that epic Rock Group REO Speedwagon, who began Thar career as R.E.O. speedwagon; Not to be Cornfuzed with the Automobile or Ranson E. Olds, or Your Father's Oldsmobile; Oh Never Mind!

F1:Red Bull Driver rotation 2.0'



And I thought it was only the Wheels On the Bus go Round 'N Round...

By now, Y'all have surely heard the News that Der Helmet', aka Red Bull Racing's Driver Overlord Dr. Helmut Marko has pulled his second notable El Switcheroo', by sending what Claudio' Branded Thee B-I-G BULLZ' Dutchie's' Wingman Pierre Gasley back Home to thou 'lil Bulls, aka Scuderia Toro Rosso...

Err, Uhm, Yeah I know. Thar now Toro Rosso Red Bull Honda instead, El Correctomundo? But for Mwah, they'll always be Scuderia Toro Rosso after Herr Dietrich' bought Minardi; But I Digress...

As Marko & Company, presumably Thee Pied Piper Chris Horner? Have decided it was High time to swap Gasley in favour of promoting my favourite Formula 1 Rookie Alexander Albon to partner Maximus Hothead', aka Max Verstappen for the second half of the F1 season, beginning at Thee Mighty Spa' next weekend. In a line-up Shuffle reminiscent of 'Ol Danni Kvyat's, who's now on his third life, Uhm? Installment at Toro Rosso.


As I hope that Albon can thrive in the pressure cooker atmosphere of being a Top-flight Red Bull racer, albeit his success wouldn't be overly beneficial for Monsieur Gasley, wee-Wee? Who hopefully won't end up having a similar Fait Accompli to past team-mate Brendon Hartley.


While it's worth noting, according to Leigh O’Gorman of The Motorsport Archive; reading between thou lines. Don't expect Patricio O'Ward to Strap-on a Formula 1 racecar anytime soon. Since he's still lacking the necessary points to acquire a FIA Superlicence until at least 2021...

Monday, August 19, 2019

INDYCAR: No Attack, No Chance...

Takuma Sato "Catchin Air" during his Lap-1 incident at this year's Pocono IndyCar race. Photo by Susan Phillips. (Image source: oilpressure.com)
Ah C'mon, Y'all knew that was Coming!

Whew! What an IndyCar race that was Folks! And that's Ah-Comin' from a Twisties', nee Road Course Devotee...

And while naturally Taku-san', aka Takuma Sato's getting All the Press right now, First 'N Foremost, I sincerely Hope that IndyCar will make the right call and return to Pocono next year!

As may be- I was just Starved for some Open Wheel Racing action after having gone a month without any motor racing, including missing the last three F1 events. Not to mention feeling that Iowa wasn't an overly exciting race...

As I'll leave it to other "Monday Morning QB's" to Dissect the Pros v Cons of Indy Cars racing at Thee Tricky Triangle, Ovals, Pack Racing and Catch Fencing. Since may be today's racecars are too Fast for the 2.5-mile Tri-Oval? But then again what about thou Brickyard?

And who are we to Decide on what Takuma and the other 21 IndyCar Drivers saw in the Blink of an Eye at Pocono! As Graham Rahal summed it up best noting how little time they have to react when entering a turn at 228 or 226mph...

As naturally, All that matters is that everybody, including Felix Rosenqvist, who had the scariest ride, along with Sato going Upside Down, both walked away Un-injured! After the Swede' was transported to Hospital for further evaluation.


Secondly, I'll admit I'm a Huge Sato Fan, and I totally Doubt He'd ever willingly take out a fellow Competitor, although naturally 'Ol Sealmeister B', aka Sebastain Bourdais is ARSE-Sumedly feeling' pretty Smug over his view upon the Japanese's Driving. As the two veteran's have not exactly been Best Mates lately.


Yet how quickly we All forget that Sato & Rossi were past team-mates at Mikey A's Squad in 2017, not to mention that year that Rossi sprinted down the Pitlane at someplace called Pocono to lean into Takuma's cockpit after wrecking to offer a few words 'O encouragement before Taku-san went out and claimed that year's Pole Position!

Thirdly, this just in, reportedly the Mayor of Hazleton, PA is giving (Townsend) T-Bell' the Keys to his City for his Yeoman-like Work of promoting his City tirelessly during the TV Broadcast; Hya! Although Obviously Alexander Rossi must be wonderin' if they weren't in Punxsutawney Phil's Backyard? And whether it's Groundhog Day again?

As Alexander's starting to make me think he's a Wee Bitamyte' Star Crossed en route to notching his Debutante IndyCar Championship a la Will Power was for multiple years, most notably vs. Dario REO Speedwagon' Franchitti. As Rossi seems out-manned by the Penske Death Star!

Although Kudos to Rossi for acknowledging he didn't make the Best of Starts at the beginning of the race. Since he simply didn't get outta Harms way at the Start!

Yet I'm not sure who gets a Mulligan more? As Josef Newgarden effectively reclaimed the 35-points lead over Rossi he would have, had he not pirouetted Stage Left at Mid Ohio three weeks ago, which thankfully Leigh Diffey got right Sunday; But I digress...

Whilst Adding Insult to Injury was Indy Cars call to issue Draconian penalties to both Thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown, nee James Hinchcliffe and Rossi, after the NBC Sports Booth Boyz' had read the Rulebook noting a Minimum of a 2-lap penalty for anyone working on their racecar during a Red Flag period.

Since IndyCar decided to Hammer both Drivers with 10-lap penalties for working upon Thar respective mounts Damaged in the First-lap Melee! Although I get the idea that IndyCar is simply trying to send a message that Rules are Rules to entice teams to Not Break them by working on their cars during Red Flags.

Meanwhile, the Star of the Race has to be whom I'm now calling "The Great Santini!" As it was another impressive race by the nearby Woodbury, CT Native Santino Ferrucci, who totally deserved a podium finish at Pocono, but had to settle for fourth place instead. Tying his season best result of finishing P4 at another Big Oval, nee Texas Motor Speedway. Not to mention being named this year's Indy 500 Rookie Of the Year.


And I'll admit this Kid's steadily grown upon Mwah this season, and Y'all may accuse me of jumpinhg on the Santino Fandango Bandwagon, But! Uhm, Yo Miller, lay off the Santino to McLaren SP Koolaid! As that Smacks 'O Shades of somebody named Ed Jones and his brief foray at CGR!

Nonetheless, Ferrucci's now my newest Numero Uno IndyCar Driver!

As Well Done Santino! And nice job on your Car Rally and raising Funds for Charity...


As we know, the race was called on Lap-128 due to Lightning, which was totally the correct call, which I've experienced personally nearly a decade ago at my lone outing to Edmonton, where we also had to exit the Grandstands as Lightning encircled the racetrack during the 2010 event. As Yuhs Definitely Don't Fool with Mother Nature!

Thus enabling Will Power to keep his Streak of Winning at least One IndyCar event per Season Alive for 13yrs now, as the Aussie' Dryly Quipped to Kevin Lee, Rain Whatever when Kevin asked what type of Let It Rain Dance Moves he was doing to ensure victory.

As leave it to the good 'Ol Freaks' to have another entertaining, but insightful interview with Sunday's Pocono "429 Miles" IndyCar winner Will Power...

Friday, August 16, 2019

Doggies' on The Big Screen, Long Pond and Kiwi' Orange Crush...


Robert Wickens #6 Schmidt Peterson Motorsports Dallara-Honda after exiting the Tech line at Indianapolis during last year's Bump Day festivities.(the Tomaso Collection)

Oh Geez', is this some more of Tomaso's Non Racin' Dribble? Guess Y'all will have to read on...

Presumably much Fanfare will be made outta this being the weekend of the One year Anniversary of Thee Young Wicky's, nee Robert Wickens Horrendous Accident at Pocono... Since that long ago Moniker bestowed upon Robby by Thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown during Thar formative Chump Carz' Atlantic Dazes' is firmly etched upon thou Cranium...

Thus it's a nice touch that Arrow McLaren Racing SP - As Vanna I wanna buy a Vowel! Or should it simply be AMR SP? Nah, that's too close to the current IndyCar Safety Team, Righto? Arrow MSP or Me Thinks I'll run with the nom de plume McLaren SP instead, a la McLaren "Special Performance;" Hya! Which kinda sounds like a catchy Spin-off of A1 Steak Sauce; But I Definitely Digress!

Uhm, as 'Ol Jeffie's Virtual Spotter would say, Stay focused Man, Outside, Outside, Clear...

Alas, I found it a very nice gesture, albeit how much is intended as good natured PR Spin? That the new Alphabet soup Brigade McLaren SP intends to Honour their previous commitment to have the team's No. 6 Dallara-Chevrolet IndyCar ready for whenever Wickens is able to return to the Cockpit.


As a year is a long-time for a Racing Driver to sit upon thou Sidelines, as I'm fairly certain that Robby wishes to return, but seriously? While I sincerely wish for him to make a full recovery, I cannot help but think of another Driver's rude ending to his stellar Hall of Fame IndyCar career and the symmetry of their respective plights.

Thinking how Wickens surely must face the same Demons of ever Strapping on an IndyCar a la Dario "REO Speedwagon" Franchitti, El Correctomundo?


Although the Coolest thingy' Robby's done in the past year surely had to be driving the specially "tweaked" (Hand Controls) Acura NSX for his honourary Pace-lap at this July's Toronto IndyCar race. As his Fiancé's words of Don't get so Close to the Walls In-car radio Quip was priceless

Whilst C'mon Jeffrey of O.L.D. Fame, Pocono's the One year Anniversary of your Blogging Sabbatical, and we Miss Yuhs dude here upon thou "Intra-woods..."


Meanwhile, once again perusing thou Car & Driver magazine via my NFB Newsline for The Blind telephone service, I came across the News that finally, Dr. McDreamy', aka "Gentleman" Sports Car Driver and Team Owner Patrick Dempsey, who bought the Book's Movie rights 11yrs ago! Has finally made it to Thee Big Screen! Having been released Friday, August 9th, with none other than Kevin "Dancing with Wolves" Costner as lead Canine character Enzo's Voice-over Actor.


Or Y'all can read my eclectic, Twisties' multiple turns version of reading Messer Stein's Masterpiece, which I scribbled 'bout here on No Fenders a Gory five years ago in;


Close-up of Kiwi Bird on Nose of Lonestar JR's McLaren IndyCar at the IMS Museum, circa 2011. (The Tomaso Collection)
Lastly, as I briefly Howled over the fact that Ye Curmudgeon 'O Indy Cars actually acknowledged Bloggers in his latest rant upon Racer, that every Man, Dog, Pony and Oh Never Mind! Is currently enraptured over who'll be McLaren SP's two Drivers next year?

As Robin Miller names all of the current choices, i.e.; James Hinchcliffe, Colton Herta, Marcus Ericsson et Al. To the possibilities of Pato O'Ward? Conor Daly, Santino Ferruci, Oliver Askew or Rinus van Kalmthout, better known as VeeKay'.

Along with his current Odds for the various Drivers over this now rampant Silly Season conjecture, for which I'll let Robin do the requisite Heavy lifting...

Although I still think Hinch' won't return to Arrow SPM next year, and since ARSE-Sumedly he wants to drive for a team with a legitimate shot at winning races, the logical Honda choice would be a third car at Rahal Letterman Lanigan racing next year, unless thou Cheepster', nee Chip Ganassi does something Wild 'n Crazy? But who knows, Eh?


And that Don't even include the easy pickin', low hangin' fruit. As surely 'Ol Smarmy Fredrico Suave, aka Fred Alonso will firmly insert himself in the team's yearly third entry at Mother Speedway, where the team typically runs the #77. Although I wouldn't be surprised if it reverted back to the No. 66 at Indianapolis for marketing reasons a la this year's Dismal Indy 500 attempt...

(Photos c/o No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer CARPETS')