Hey IndyCar – I think Portland’s still available...

So here it is - another Labour Day weekend having just concluded... Which means that the Twenty-ten Indy Car season is almost over, and I haveda say, in a sorta weird, twisted kinda way... I’m finding myself chuckling louder ‘N louder over how members of the Bloggaratzi are Frothing over the loss of certain Oval tracks ‘N IndyCar venues in general... And the slighting of Open Wheels versus that bloated 800lb Gorilla named RASSCAR...

NO, the part that’s killing me the MOST is all of this blather ‘bout needing to go to tracks that aren’t ISC (or SMI) owned, where they put on a good show and are wanted... Hmm? Can Y’all say Portland? As I know a one Mr. Carpets will be bustin’ out the Kleenex upon reading this post... As I still just DON’T get it???

Last time I checked, a few Fortune 500 Companies named Boeing, Microsoft, Nordstroms, Starbucks and Vulcan Ventures were still doing business in Washington, not to mention the Bon Marche being bought out by some entity named Macy’s; Hmm? Don’t they sell some brand called IZOD there? while I think some Company named Nike was born in Oregon?

And in case your unaware of what Vulcan Ventures is, it’s the Venture platform of a one Messer Paul Allen, who was originally the other half of some ‘lil computing company named Microsoft and Y’all know who – Bill Gates, one of the richest Gentlemen in the world is, right? Not to mention how Mr. Allen bought out the all conquering ticketing entity I fondly call RIP-OFFMeister... Officially known as Ticketmaster, who I was forced to purchase my Edmonton tickets thru. (Complete with exorbitant Service Fees!) And Oh-by-the-Way, Messer Allen owns some Professional Sports Teams known as the Seattle Seahawks and Portland Trailblazers...

But instead, the Indy Racing League continues to focus upon the Midwest and East coast, trying to fit its product into whatever venue will hopefully seat the most people (Butt’s) and NOT necessarily provide a good race, which I believe is known as Entertainment dollars...

Thus, I still bristle over Mark James comments about how I as a loyal Fan of Open Wheel Racing need to do MORE then just listen ‘N watch the Indy Car races... But also need to be attending them, talking positively ‘bout them and buying my favourite Drivers merchandise ‘N related Advertising products; Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot? What was that all about Mr. Gravelly? As this comment came during one of the very FEW Indy Lights races I was able to successfully tune-in via the pathetic indycar.com Webcasts! I mean SHEISA! Indycar.com CANNOT even list ALL of the Indy Lights Radio Broadcast times on its website? NOT to mention the LACK of any Television coverage... Which if it does ever come back, and then it would be nice if they DON’T tell us who the winner is before the tape delayed broadcast, eh? But I digress...

Now, I’m NOT proclaiming that Portland is the BESTEST natural terrain Permanent Road course in North America, nor will I attempt to procostinate who is, although I’d haveda hard time picking between Road America and Watkins Glen... But hey Indy Racing League... Do you remember Kevin Costner’s comments in Field of Dreams? If you build it, they’ll come... As Gee Wally, Err Randy & Terry; Portland International Raceway is ALREADY BUILT! Accessible via the major Highway (I-5) with the entire necessary infrastructure already completed... And Oh My Gawd... It’s even steeped in a rich Open Wheel Racing history, albeit CART and Champ Car... NOT the IRL; Tisk-Tisk! And it’s had some pretty good finishes too; just ask Little Al, Mario & Michael Andretti, Gil De Ferran and Martin Brundle just to name a few...

As for going to races, thanks to IndyCarz current philosophy, the three nearest venues are Edmonton, Canada, Long Beach and Sonoma; both in California, while last time I checked... ‘Los Wages is even further away – and I seriously doubt I’ll be going to any stinkin’ Oval races there! Whilst the first three venues all haveda be at least a minimum of 800-1,000+ miles away; not to mention ‘Juan includes running the Border Gauntlet... Yet all I still hear is never ending prattle ‘bout going back to Phoenix and Milwaukee and Boo-Hoo-Hoo other Midwest venues are disappearing...

I mean; So What! If the precious ICS schedule AIN’T perfectly symmetrical between Ovals “N Twisties, while I get the gist of going abroad to China ‘N Australia... As can you say Greenbacks? While I’m all in favour of Australia rightfully returning to Indy Cars, but perhaps Y’all will wanna check how the Chinese business model worked out with CART/Champ Car, eh? I mean, why not go back to Mexico City instead? As I think its one Helluva lot closer and could become a lucrative market also, right? I mean just ask those Fans affectionately named the Guacamole Heads; Ariva-Ariva-Ariva!

So I won’t hold my breath any longer over Indy Car ever coming back to the Pacific Northwest, as I’m quite certain it will once again be left off the riveting 2011 Indy Car Schedule this Friday... Especially since we’ve got plenty of other choices here... As I find it pretty entertaining how various venues keep getting shuffled due to conflicting dates with RASSCAR... As I’m pretty certain if Portland did miraculously return, it wouldn’t get its traditional Father’s Day date, but a Mid-August “Double Header” with Sonoma would work nicely, while my “Perfect” Double Header would see the Indy Cars run with the American Le Mans Series... Or GASP! Imagine those RASSCAR ‘Pickem-up Trucks Bangin “N Beatin on a Road course... Oh Never Mind!

As can Y’all hardly wait to stay up into the wee hours to catch another riveting race around the Twin Moons ‘O Motegi? Hey, at least Mister Chrome Horn will be there, allegedly due to the helping hands of his Battleing SuperCarz Co-Host Tanner Foust; Aye Karumba!

May be IndyCar should Stay Away from the Northwest After all...

And I know for certain Vancouver, BC will NOT be getting a race, as they used to have a great little Street Circuit event running around BC Place on Labour Day weekend, before CART/Champ Car moved that date to Denver...

Meanwhile, I wonder what the attendance figures for Kentucky will be? As hopefully JP will have a favourable report after his latest trek to the Bourbon State, which makes it kinda funny to think how Eddie Carpenter will be running the Fuzzy’s Ultra Premium Vodka Drinks car there! Then again if the note I just received regarding Hotel fees being overinflated from $189 per night to a WHOPPING $489.00 per night is any indication of how Motorsports Fans are being GOUGED!!! Then good luck Indy Car with increasing attendance...

Evaluating the Commitment of a New Partner

Another Motorcycle Racer fatality

Having just finished watching today’s MOTO GP action from Misano, Italy at the San Marino GP, it was saddening to hear SPEED Commentator Greg Kramer announce at the end of the Broadcast that Japanese rider Shoya "Tomi" Tomizawa Had perished from his injuries during the day’s Moto2 event... Which ironically I was watching just prior to the big crash, as Scott Redding Had gone from 1st to 4th after making one small mistake the Announcers said... As my TV Guide had claimed that the Indy MOTO GP race would be replayed at 9AM this morning... NOT!

Thus it seemed somewhat Karmic that the Broadcast showed all of the MOTO GP riders taking a minute of silence for Peter Lenz, the 13yr old rider from Vancouver, WA who died at Indy one week ago, as now two riders have died and one still remains in serious condition over the past 8-days...

Moto2 rider Tomizawa dies from injuries in Misano

INDYCAR: Kentucky – Pow! Second’s Anyone?

Y’all are already most likely ahead on this... As I learned whilst in the Wonderer State, that the ever continuing musical roulette ‘O Indy Car Drivers continued this weekend with the additions of Mr. Chrome Horn ‘N The Graminator... The Wiley ‘Ol PT & Graham Rahal respectively, as Paul Tracy will return to Dreyer & Reinbold for his second stint this year, while Graham returned for his second stint at Sarah Fisher Racing; as for some strange reason I thought he had a 6-race deal with Newman Haas Racing?

For Paul Tracy, making his pitch now part of the game

And speakin’ of Seconds, Tomas “Rockem-Sockem” Scheckter made his second start this year for Conquest Racing aboard the No. 36 before giving way to Roger Yasukawa in Motegi. Meanwhile Ed Carpenter, who returned to the Indy Car Series as a second entry at Panther Racing, is in the midst of his 3-race extension after having been on the sidelines since May, having returned at Chicagoland – where he ran up front for awhile before Pit lane problems set in...

And having NOT watched the Belgian GP, I sat down to a mini-F1 marathon of Practice, Qualifying and Race all in ‘Juan sitting and therefore missed out upon the Kentucky ICS ‘Qualie session. Thus I was extremely happy to learn late Friday night that Ed “Fuzzy Wuzzy” Carpenter had scored his inaugural Indy Car Pole Position ahead of Will Power, Dan Wheldon, Scott Dixon and Hideki Mutoh rounding out the Top-5.

And it was funny listening to an AP story claiming how Will Power has joked about how every time he see’s Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti in his rear view mirrors, he hears the theme music from Jaws! While Paul Tracy (214.270mph) starting 23rd was just able to hold off The Wanderin’ Milka, (24th) by 0.927mph, as Messer’s Rahal, ‘TK – “Follow your Schnoz” (Kanaan) and Ryan “The IZOD Dude” Hunter-Reay were ALL “SLOWER then Milka Duno’s 213.343mph 2-lap qualifying average.

Raceday
Then the unthinkable happened... I dialed-up the Indy Lights race via le internets on the very first try... And viola! I gots to listens to the ENTIRE IMS Radio Networks Broadcast Flag-to-Flag without any interruptions... As Pippa Mann led Wire-to-Wire over the Mayor of Hingetown, nee James Hinchcliffe and J.K. Vernay, who effectively locked-up the 2010 Firestone Indy Lights Crown and must simply take the Green flag in Homestead to collect his title.

Meanwhile the Pride of BHA (Brian Herta Autosports) Sebastian Saavedra, whom the Team seemingly planned to build itself around for its future endeavours into the BIG ‘BOYZ ranks, nee Indy Car... Inexplicably QUIT the Team on Saturday, prior to the race... Which quickly substituted Daniel Herrington, who’s Day Job is Race Spotter, as he’d pull Double-Duty Saturday evening.

Yet ironically both of the BHA cars; the No. 28 of Stefan Wilson & No. 29 of Herrington were both involved in a Lap 2 3-car crash with Phillip Major which eliminated all three competitors and caused a Red flag to be thrown.

And thanks to the IMS Radio Network Broadcast, I was able to learn that there would be another agonizing 50min Versus TV Preamble... Which I’ll SKIP! So thanks for tellin’ meeze Kevin Lee... As hopefully I’ll manage to stay awake during the whole race? As even better yet, I’d be happy to see ‘Ol Fuzzy Wuzzy become a first time winner with Power in P2... Whale I’d certainly hoped so! As do NOT even get me started on Danny Boy “Spike” Wheldon’s DISGUSTING sponsor... URGH!

Not to mention HULIO ‘N Team Penske employing the Danica-FO-Mannica Motegi Fuel Starvation Diet in order to pull out an improvable victory... With Carpenter finishing runner-up the second year in-a-row, with Mr. Proud (Wheldon) third, as Franchitti once again finished ahead of Power, who’s Points lead shrank to a paltry 17; SHEISA!

Chassis-Chassis, On the Wall...
So I must admit, that I haven’t read the whole Pop Off Valve story ‘bout the impending ICS Car Owner revolt which was originally stirred-up by none other then the mercurial Robin Miller...

IndyCar "owner revolt" rumors an unwelcome reminder of a best-forgotten era

Yet even Don Kay brought it up Tuesday night during his Autosport Radio Show, which I’ve since read that Randy Bernard & Dennis Reinbold held court to clear the air upon this... While Mr. Bernard missed his first Indy Car race while in Europe hoping to drum-up interest in the 2012 Chassis package by talking to Ferrari, Cosworth, McLaren, etc. YUK! A Body-by-McLaren IndyCar... By Mennen! Oh Never Mind...

Uh Randy, couldn’t you just have talked to Kevin (Kalkhoven) Trackside and dropped by Gerry (Forsythe) when at Chicagoland? As Y’all really don’t think Ferrari is gonna stoop so low and build engines do Yuhs? Although I still say everybody is overlooking the Roush/Yates Six-banger just developed for the American Le Mans Series...

Television
And the Beauty of being one of the members of the Bloggaratzi is that I get the chance to disagree with other Scribes out there in Bloggerland... As much as I enjoy George’s writing, I was instantly On Alert since I already knew he was a “Lifelong” Penske Fan – now having learned he’s also an HULIO Supporter; ACK! Thus I expected his Kentucky thoughts would be somewhat Biased, eh?

Random Thoughts on Kentucky

But as I mentioned before, I do NOT enjoy versus’s overly LONG WINDED... Hmm? I think this story’s getting there too, right? Err, as I said, I DON’T watch the Preamble, ‘cause it makes my head HURT to listen to ‘LyndieCar DRONE ON ‘N ON! (Thus I enjoyed George’s assessments of her Pit reporting...) And I’m sure it’s just me; BUTT! I found the Race coverage to be excessively ANNOYING... As the word SPURTS immediately came to mind as there was a NON-STOP interruption of COMMERCIALS; SHEISA! In fact it got so bad that I decided to time the closing stages of the race and scribbled the following.

6min Race coverage (RC)
(2m Commercial break)
4min-RC
(2m Commercial break)
8min-RC (Including scary 3-car wreck)
(2m Commercial break)
5min-RC
(2m Commercial break)
4min-RC
(2m Commercial break)
9min-RC (End of Race W/O Commercials...)
(2m Commercial break)
10min Post Race coverage: Driver interviews
(2m Commercial break)
4min College Football In-studio Highlights
(3m Commercial break)
2min Race Wrap-up

As I tells Yuhs; if it weren’t for Bob Jenkins & Jon Beekhuis in the booth, whale Robbie Buhl’s Ok too, I probably would have tried listening to it Online instead! I mean where did Paul Tracy finish, eh? Did I miss the Announcers talking ‘bout that?

YIKES! Now I'd better go outside before the rain comes...

The Dregs ‘O Traveling

First ‘N Foremost - let me say; Obviously my trek home from Indy certainly was NO-where near as perilous as the pair of aspiring Motorcyclists mentioned in Motorcycle incidents strike Indianapolis...

Yet, it was certainly not a DULL trip home, as there was action aplenty... As first apparently my departure time was moved-up 10mins without my knowledge, albeit I’d arrived plenty early for my Curbside check-in at a nearly empty Indianapolis International Airport, as a very enjoyable elderly Airport Assistant named Ray... Was it Ray Charles or roy? Assisted me to my first Gate by asking me if I wanted to hold his arm, just follow him or if I wanted to Sprint to my gate? Hya! I DON’T care what’s Yuh say, That’s Funny... As I told Roy that he’d most likely beat me in a Sprint, especially thru an unfamiliar Airport...

Then boarding the American Airlines Aeroplane, the Flight Attendant informed me that I was aboard a “Super-80.” As in McDonald MD-80; Umm – they haven’t made those in a zillion years... As it seems a novelty to sit aboard a Commercial Aeroplane that only seats five-abreast. As we were pushed back from the Gate late... The old Jetliner’s engine began making some funny sounds, Putt-putt-putt and then the sound of it spooling down... Uh Folks this is your Captain; we’ve experienced some problems with one of the engines. Maintenance has been called and as soon as they figure it out we’ll be on our way towards Indy... Hmm? Aren’t we already in Kansas, Err Indy?

Thus several minutes later it was cranked up again and it sounded to me like a rotor blade was Rubbin’? What’s ‘Dat RASSCAR sayin’? Oh Never Mind...

Nevertheless, we successfully taxied a little further away from the Gate before coming to a complete stop, just sitting there with the engines quietly idling away... (In silent “Whoosh” mode...) Now what? Before our Captain informed us that they’d just been re-rooted at the last moment by Air Traffic control due to the incoming Storms along the Gulf coast (Hurricane Earle I believe...) and were just verifying their fuel load and imputing the new route into the Confuzer... Thus we were definitely late to DFW... But the good news for Mwah was that it effectively cancelled out my layover time...

Yet I haveda say I was a bit bamboozled to be informed by the Flight Attendant to please wait until my Assistance had arrived... As I was the very final person to deplane the partially full flight, as I guess they couldn’t simply have people standing around waiting for an Aeroplane that was extremely late, eh? Thus I simply had a half hour layover upon arriving at my connecting flights Gate at the opposite end of the Airport after a very amusing ride in ‘Juan of the myriad ‘O “Buggies (Carts) that abound the DFW premises...

Upon arriving in Seattle, a very nice man from Ethiopia named Shegal escorted me to the Shuttle van in the adjoining Parking lot where my Driver informed me that we’d be going by an alternate route as I-5 was closed for two miles in Everett due to a shootout occurring upon the Highway... Oh Joy, this’ll be Fun; NOT!

The Man sitting behind me asked as we cruised north on I-5; Excuse me, are you from around here? Do you know where the Sounders play? Why yes, they play in Qwest Field, as this turned into a long conversation about our MLS Sounders FC Franchise, who I believe are still leading the League in attendance; selling out at 36,000+

We talked awhile ‘bout ‘Football, Err Soccer, as I described how it’s an absolutely fantastic venue and how ravenous the Fans are; they STAND for the entire 90mins – even yelling the Ref’s a Wanker... To which the man replied: I’m a Referee... OOPS! So how ‘bout those Mariners? CRIKEYS! As he informed me that his home team was the San Jose Earthquakes, while I decided to not mention anything more ‘bout Referee’s...

Motorcycle Incidents Strike Indianapolis

During the MOTO GP event last weekend, a pair of similar accidents occurred involving Canadian Jesse Phibbs, 21, and American Teenager Peter Lenz, 13. As most likely you’ve heard that Lenz, ironically from nearby Vancouver, Washington was struck and killed during Sunday morning’s Moriwaki MD250H USGPRU race, while Pro Flat track rider Phibbs seemingly is less mentioned, but also remains in serious condition after his Saturday night Flat track crash.

Sadly, Lenz becomes The Speedway’s youngest ever victim and is the first fatality at the Brickyard since Tony Renna’s crash during an October, 2003 IRL testing incident, as his Funeral service will be held today in Vancouver, Washington, while Phibbs remains on Life Support at Methodist Hospital...

Peter Lenz, 13-Year-Old Rider, Killed at Indianapolis MotoGP

Windsor area motorcycle racer suffers brain damage

The Ben Spies Method

Scooters invade Speedway

(Team Honda/Moriwaki Moto2 Motorcycle; Source: American Honda)

URGH! In my haste to poond aways upon ze keyboard last week... In order to complete this story “Just-in-Time” for my departure to Indianapolis, I managed to delete the whole FREAKIN’ story; SHEISA! But I digress...

Yeah, that’s right; you’re Humble Scribe is currently in Speedway, Indiana... Having just taken in the MOTO GP event at The Brickyard! But I don’t have NO way to post from my remote locale, nor can I TWITTER miize Hearts-away... So Y’all will just haveda wait ‘til I return later this week, right?

And as I mentioned before, I originally chose to record Wind Tunnel over the Indy Car Series race from Sonoma in order to capture the interview with the mercurial Ben Spies, also known as ‘ELBOWZ – allegedly due to his elbows-out riding style... As I’ve been enthralled by Messer Spies since watching him rocket onto the World Superbike scene enroute to capturing the title in his Rookie campaign before making the jump to MOTO GP.

As I liken to contrast the FIM MOTO GP as the Formula 1 of Motorcycle Road racing... It was entertaining to listen to myself trying to explain what just exactly MOTO GP was to a complete novice who most likely has ZERO interest in Motorsports... Oh? Is that like Motocross? NO! Hmm? How do you explain what F1 is to somebody who’s only ever heard of RASSCAR – BARF! Nah, they’re the Primadonna’s ‘O Road Racing Motorcycles; Carbon fibre frames & Swingarms... What’s a Swingarm? Uhm... They go over 200mph and AREN’T Street legal... Probably could go faster but I believe they’re designed for going fastest from corner-to-corner... So they’re like Streetbikes accept NOT legal – right? Correct... And this concludes my attempt at explaining what a MOTO GP ‘Scooter is!

Thus I’m metaphorically ‘GEEKED! Over getting to attend my very first ever MOTO GP event during my weekend at Indianapolis, where I’ll get to check out Messer Spies going Mano-e-Mano against the other luminary riders “The Doctor, (Valentino Rossi) the “Texas Tornado,” (Colin Edwards) Casey Stoner, “The Kentucky Kid,” (Nicky Hayden) Randy de Puniet, George Lorenzo, Dani Pedrosa, Andrea Dovizioso and the rest of the supporting cast at the Brickyard! Albeit they’ll most likely just be pebblish-sized coloured specs to your Low Vision ‘Vurd Botcherer BloodHoond...

Meanwhile much has changed since the beginning of the season way back in April, albeit Spies seemingly has had the most impressive campaign of the three competing ‘Yanks; scoring his maiden Podium on the new ‘Supersized Silverstone Circuit and then capturing his maiden Front row start at the last round in the Czech Republic. While I’m guessing Teammate Colin Edwards of the newly christened Monster Yamaha Tec 3 Twah – per SPEED’s Greg Kramer hasn’t exactly had the season he’d want to remember... While once again Nicky Hayden seems to be getting dusted off by soon-to-be ex-Teammate Casey Stoner.

As the ‘Aussie (Stoner) started the 2011 “Silly Season” Dominoes falling by announcing his decision to move to Repsol Honda next year before Valentino Rossi was lured to Ducati, whilst it should be confirmed at Indy that Hayden will remain as the Italian’s Teammate next year. Thus, Yamaha declared that if The Doctor left, it would immediately elevate Spies into his vacated seat alongside soon-to-be newly crowned MOTO GP World Champion George Lorenzo...

Meanwhile the MOTO2 category is getting much press with the FIM allowing 1993 GP500 World Champion Kevin Schwantz to use his retired number 34 plate for his Team Honda/Moriwaki’s MOTO2 entry, as Roger Lee Hayden (Nicky & Tommy Hayden’s younger Brother) will race at the Red Bull Indianapolis GP on a Wildcard entry...

Formula One’s Two Wheelers Kick off 2010 Season in Qatar