Tuesday, December 4, 2018

The Tomaso Files: Flounderin' round in Florence's flotsam...

Oregon's famous Haystack Rock during Sunset at Cannon Beach. (Image source: shutterstock.com)
Groan! Is he Scribblin' some more of his legendous Tomasoan' Dribble?

Whale', I haven't penned any riveting Tomaso Files tomes lately, so here goes, as Rucky' Uze Guys; Hya!

Alas, as Y'all would presumably know? I certainly Don't go for writing Click-bait stories here on No Fenders, which I'd be doing if so inclined to keep Thy Tradition of posting 200+ stories yearly, which I'll presumably fall just short of this December.

Whilst as Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary ELLEN has reminded me over thou years, I'm simply poondin' out material for Thyself and hence, shouldn't be worried about my weekly visitors tally.

But that said, and Nope, I Don't keep a running tally, except for infrequently having My Gal Lucy', My ARSE-Steamed Screen Reader read me thou Unique Visitors count - Along with realizing that traffic would naturally drop off during the Off-season, not to mention the Holidays, But...

My traffic's dropped measurably over the last month-pluses time, by approximately 50%! Since apparently Thars' far more IndyCar readers here on No Fenders than Formula 1?

And couple that with being barely able to write  stories fast enough when I'm supposed to be unpacking, (As ever wondered how a Blind Person Unpacks labeled Boxes?) and Viola! I simply wonder why I'm beating my Brains out trying to post stories for y'all, Eh?

I have to laugh to myself, noting that this October was the Twentieth Anniversary of surrendering my Driver's license do to my affliction to having Retinitis Pigmentosa, or RP for short, for which I've belaboured Y'all 'bout previously in;

Yet I still love Cars and Motor Racing, more specifically Open Wheel Racing in general. Having first been introduced to Formula 1 and then Indy Cars some thirty-plus years ago.

And why do I point out my Blindness to Y'all? Well imagine trying to unpack your life's possessions Blindfolded, Eh? Which in effect is what I'm doing very slowly after moving for the first time in 21yrs; Yowzah!

As I laughed at myself recently when trying to begin unpacking the Gynormous collection of Motor Racing and Automobile  books I've  collected those same three-plus decades.

Noticing after the first three or four boxes, for which I cannot read any of the labels I painstakingly attached to 'em. Am I even putting 'em in the Book case right side up? As surely somebody will eventually ridicule me for doing so, Righto!

For which I then spent further time removing them before placing each book individually underneath my CCTV (Close Circuit Television) reading machine to insure Thar all right-side U-P now; Eureka!

And then there's the whole issue of Depending upon Technology to Aid my Daily living as  a Blind person. For which every time I run into another issue, be it on Thy Confuzer', nee computer, telephone or one of my Talking Clocks.

For which the main Talking "Atomic Clock" I depend upon daily's currently having a Nasty Habit of defaulting back to Daylight Savings Time randomly, causing the Alarm to go off an hour early; FUCK!

And Yeah Smarty-pantz', I've put brand new batteries into it!

Yet speaking 'O Batteries, I was rudely reminded that the Smoke Detector's apparently hadn't been changed before moving in. When it began chirping incessantly at Midnight, the evening before the Abu Dhabi GP replay, GROAN!

As why do those batteries always Quit working in the middle 'O night? But I digress.

While I'm simply left scratchin' thou Noggin over this relentless Droning On over vehicle electrification and Ceaselessly Pushing for Autonomous Automobiles!

I mean, if the Goobers; Err Cadres 'O Coders at gOOgle' are so intent upon continuously changing the  appearance and interface of Blogger, Gmail, YouTube, et Al, then how will these RoboCarz' not run Afoul?

As I'll give Yuhs just one brief example. For NO reason at All.  Somebody decided that instead of when I use to log onto YouTube Lucy', My ARSE-Steamed Screen Reader would immediately say the word Search, indicating I was in the Search field and could merrily type my inquiry to find whatever I wanted.

But then a few months ago outta Duh Blue, it Quit Working; WTF? Before Blogmeister Miguel  figured out that I'd now need to select the Tab button trice; Err, three times to hear Lucy say the words Guide, YouTube Home  and then Search... Thanxs Google Bastardoes!

And NO Microsoft! You're Not Excused either! As you're actually causing a large Bone 'O Contention right now. As seriously? I've gotta either uninstall and re-install my MS Office programme simply to change my personal email address? Or more likely be forced to migrate to your yearly Money Grubbin' subscription based MS 2019 Office (model) software instead? SHEISA!

And speaking 'O email, Google's managed to change the interface code on its Gmail settings, hence making the No Fenders email Inbox almost un-navigable for Mwah; JACKARSES!

Whilst MOOHZillah's Not immune either, having long ago been forced to revert to a very old version of their platform 'cause Yuhs Guessed it! They decided to scramble Thar interface code making my Zoomtext Screen reading Software unable to read the Web! Defaulting to an Error Code every single time trying to access the Internetz'; BUGGERS!

As Gee Wally, guess what? Not All Blind and Visually Impaired People are rolling in Dinero', and hence cannot afford to constantly update their software or computing devices every Freakin' time thou Bastardos need to roll-out Thar latest Tokyo fly-by-Night Gee Whiz, Flash Bang upgrades!

AnyHoo, the long winded rambling point? Alas, I'm feeling overwhelmed, and thinking I'm gonna pull a "Jeffie" of One Lap Down Fame, and take some time off here. Although I'm not currently planning on going on a three month's-plus hiatus, but who knows?

As I'm gonna Force Thyself to take a brief respite from Thy Keyboard for the following week's time. Returning here on No Fenders on Tuesday, December 10th - In order to virtually recharge thou Batteries. As I'm gonna be Ultra Busy the next few weeks. So we'll see what I can bother to post the rest 'O December, and then perhaps I'll actually try taking some further time off at the beginning of January, Eh?

Monday, December 3, 2018

Daly to get Dirty at Chili Bowl

It's good to hear Conor Daly's name again, along with 'Ol r', aka Robin Miller returning to his trusty keyboard for Racer Magazine, after his brief hiatus due to the lingering effects of Chemotherapy...

Although I still strongly believe that Conor needs to be a Fulltime IndyCar Driver with a Bonafied, legitimate IndyCar ride, for which his only remaining option for next year is part-time duties for Juncos Racing. Nonetheless, Daly's at least keeping his name out Thar in racing circles, even if it's just Midget Cars.

As who knows? Perhaps his Jonathan Byrd's connection will lead to bigger 'N better things, beside just another "One-off" at Indy next May...

Friday, November 30, 2018

INDYCAR: Let the McLaren Racing and Fernando Sweepstakes roulette Begin in earnest

Kiwi Bird on nose of Johnny Rutherford's McLaren at the IMS Hall of Fame museum. (The Tomaso Collection)
Will it be one Orange Car or two? While we know it won't be sponsored by Fuzzy's...

I suppose by now I should understand why Zak Brown and McLaren & Co. are so eager to Toy with Us IndyCar Masses...

Especially now that another Abysmal Formula 1 season's "Done 'N Dusted" for McLaren, and Fernando's "Left Duh Building;" Err retired from Formula One, and any good press is welcomed.

Obviously by now, Y'all have heard of McLaren's new Indy 500 project, Righto? For which longtime ex-Force India Deputy Team Principal Bob Fernley's been announced as the project's leader, which many have found puzzling since Gil de Ferran is currently heading the F1 side of Woking's Palace, who's intimately connected to Indy Cars, albeit it's worth remembering he was Honda F1's Sporting Director briefly.

Yet I'm getting quite Cornfuzed over the continuing references being made about Fernando Alonso driving with, and the 2019 McLaren Indy 500 project being in conjunction with Ed Carpenter Racing.

Especially since ECR's previously announced that Ed Jones will drive the No. 64 Scuderia Corsa Dallara DW12-Chevy, their third Indy 500 entry, along with the entire "Twisties," nee Road & Street Courses portion of the 2019 IndyCar calendar in collabouration with Scuderia Corsa.

With the team's other two drivers, aka FAST EDDIE', nee Ed Carpenter in his longtime #20 mount & Spencer Pigot in the  #21 at Mother Speedway this May.

Although I've read recently on Race Fans
that Alonso's signed to drive GM Products next year, i.e.; Cadillac at the Daytona 24hrs & Chevy at Indianapolis, but McLaren's running their own team and any combination with ECR would seem to imply EdCarpenter's running 4-cars at Indy, or 5 if McLaren enters a second car, which 5 ECR cars seems fairly unlikely to Mwah. So, am I missing something?

And whilst we're All still Ah-wash' in the Afterglow of Fred's retirement from the Pinnacle of Motorsports. It's worth remembering that the Swashbuckling Spaniard isn't All Smiles and Charm, especially when he doesn't get his way!

Whilst lastly, presumably Y'all know that McLaren's got a rich History at thee Brickyard, most notably it's two victories with Lonestar JR' at the controls, which I've previously scribbled here on No Fenders in;

(Photo c/o No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer CARPETS')