Friday, March 27, 2015

And then the Rains came...



Pretty funny hearing A-L-L the IndyCar Boyz' commiserate over how incrediblyL-O-N-G the Off-season was, only for the day's second B-I-G' CARZ practice session, along with the prior Indy Lights practice both being RAINED OUT!



As I understand the reasoning of IndyCar teams not wishing to sacrifice any of their precious new Aerokit parts, but really? Seven FREAKIN' months Off-season yet there's a LACK of spare parts; WTF!

But at least I was able to listen to I-T all on the IMS Radio Network, with "the Voice," Paul Page, Mark 'Graveley James, Jake "The Riddler" Query, Nick 'Salt Yeoman and  Dave First talking wedding's and marital bliss with Graham Rahal and Charlie Kimball; Hooah!


As thankfully we'll get back to racing in St Pete tomorrow, with everyone in their Firesuits, instead of 'TK Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan glowering at Dave First in street clothes; with the entirety of Pitlane Paparazzi, including "Charlie Murphy" (Kimball) saying how the weather procostinators and radars show Dry skies the rest of the weekend...

Don't Forget about MotoGP...



Although suppose I'll be getting up either in thy middle 'O night or 'Wee hours of the morning? OR BOTH; SHEISA! Since after all the traditional MotoGP season opener in Qatar is a night race... Which means it's what time here in Seattle? Oh Never Mind 'CARPETS; Hya!

AnyHoo, while I'll be gorging thyself out on my first "Double Header" Open Wheel Racing weekend! With Formula 1's second round at Malaysia; I think I'm more intrigued over what an IndyCar looks 'N sounds like, as they'll finally be taking the wraps off the 2015 season in St Pete with those Oh So Scintillating AFX Aurora Body-by-Mennen Aerokits...

As Y'all can watch these two Open Wheel Racing "Road Shows" on opposing TV Networks. With Formula 1 on 'Duh "Peacock-lite," nee NBCSN, while IndyCar is on ABC; DRAT!

And as typical - FUCK YOU comca$t! They're naturally airing the Malaysian GP replay at 12:30PM Pacific Sunday vs. ABC's live airing of the St Pete IndyCar race at "High Noon," (12PM Pacific) both on Sunday, with Formula 1 getting the typical run-around, i.e.; Thursday, Friday and Saturday "live" airings at different nefarious middle 'O thy night time slots; SHEISA!

Meanwhile the Knee-draggers, better known now as "The Aliens!" Since they're practically invisible on their up-to 65 FUCKING Degrees leaned-over 'Scooters! Whilst Marc Marquez, Dani Pedrosa and George Lorenzo simply vanish off into the distance... will be aired upon Fox Sports-1 (FS1) apparently bright 'N early Sunday  morning, March 29 at 6AM Pacific?

As ALWAYS! Check your local listings for A-L-L Times & Dates and set 'Dem DVRS - as let's GO Racing!

Introducing the 2015 IndyCar Team line-ups...



This is solely intended to be a helpful guide to who's in what for this weekend's season opening IndyCar race at St Petersburg, Florida. With the grid most likely fluctuating and doesn't include Indianapolis 500 only participants and hence, is by NO means Official, and as always, is subject to change.

there were three Rookies initially contesting this year's championship when I began scribbling this; with reigning Indy Lights champion Gabby Chaves making his debut with Brian Herta Autosports, in the seat vacated by Jack Hawksworth. While the worst kept secret was 2013 Indy Lights champion Sage Karam replacing Ryan Briscoe at Chip Ganassi's "G2" Squad.

The third "rookie" is Luca Filippi, who'll take over Mike "Ice-Ice, Baby!" Conway's empty seat at CFH Racing for the "twisties" portion of the calendar, now that Conway's decided to focus upon Sports Car racing as a Toyota Factory driver in the World Endurance Championship. (WEC)

Then, there's the requisite Silly Season shuffle, in NO particular order: Simon Pagenaud leaves Schmidt Peterson Motorsports for the rarefied confines of Team Penske. With James Hinchcliffe leaving Andretti Autosport to takeover Pagenaud's vacated seat.

Thus leaving No Fenders Numero Uno IndyCar Pilote' Justin B-I-G' UNIT Wilson on the Outside looking In towards continuing his career in Open Wheel Racing...

On March 9th, just 20-days prior to "Kickoff!" KVRT announced that its vacant second seat, now the No. 4 would be piloted by GP2 winning driver  Stefano Coletti. Leaving just the two Dale Coyne entries plus one Andretti seat available... Which all three were filled, As Andretti took on crowd darling "Symona-Symona," leaving Justin Wilson out in the cold; SHIT!

While Dale Coyne, who typically leaves his Driver announcements to the eleventh hour, announced his two drivers on March 16th, signing Carlos Huertas for a second year, and  surprisingly Italy's Francesco Dracone for the first four races...

Team/Car No/Driver)
(1) AJ Foyt Enterprises
Engine: Honda
14. Takuma Sato; Japan
41. Jack Hawksworth; UK

(2) Andretti Autosport
Engine: Honda
25. Simona de Silvestro; Switzerland
26. Marco Andretti; USA
28. Ryan Hunter-Reay; USA

Andretti/HVM Racing (+1)
(Hola Viva Mexico)
Engine: Honda
34. Carlos Munoz; Columbia


(3) Bryan Herta Autosport
Engine: Honda
98. R-Gabby Chaves; Columbia

(4) Carpenter Fisher Hartman Racing
Engine: Chevrolet
20. Ed Carpenter; USA (Ovals Only)
20. R-Luca Filippi; Italy (Road/Street Courses)
67. Joseph Newgarden; USA

(5) Dale Coyne Racing
Engine: Honda
18. Carlos Huertas, Columbia
19. R- Francesco Dracone, Italy

(6) KV Racing Technology
Engine: Chevrolet
4. R-Stefano Coletti; Monaco

KVSH Racing (+1)
Engine: Chevrolet
11. Sebastian Bourdais; France

(7) Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing
Engine: Honda
15. Graham Rahal; USA

(8) Schmidt Peterson Motorsports
Engine: Honda
5. James Hinchcliffe; Canada
7. James Jakes; UK

(9) Target Chip Ganassi Racing
Engine: Chevrolet
9. Scott Dixon; New Zealand
10. Tony Kanaan; Brazil

‘G2 – Chip Ganassi Racing  (+2)
Engine: Chevrolet
8. R-Sage Karam; USA
83. Charlie Kimball; USA

(10) Team Penske
Engine: Chevrolet
#1. Will Power; Australia
2. Juan Pablo Montoya; Columbia
3. Helio Castroneves; Brazil
22. Simon Pagenaud; France

(R Denotes Rookie Driver)

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Can IndyCar Ride Out the "Buy-A-Drive" Storm?



Sarah Fisher Hartman Racing's 2012 "Winter's Greetings" DW12 Showcar. (The Tomaso Collection)
In honour of the STUPENDOUS seven months Off-season, as OH MY FREAKIN' GAWD! Is IndyCar really going racing this coming weekend? I thought it only appropriate to dust off the winter dreams SFHR Showcar photo...

Whilst I was still clinging to hopes that my Numero Uno IndyCar driver Justin B-I-G' UNIT Wilson would be retained for a Full Season Gig this year all the way up to  "Spring Training;" Ahem, C'mon Honda, give Mikey A' a call and insert the likeable Brit into a winning ride!

Alas, it appears to A-L-L be in vain, with the IndyCar grid being complete for the first four races minimum - with NO Wilson; SHEISA!
As it's not a new phenomenon but, as NBC Sport's Tony DiZinno wisely points out, the series itself is as much to blame as the teams for the influx of hiring "Pay Drivers" and the dwindling number of seats available overall...

As it seems there's a steady migration to Bowtie power, with two thirds of IndyCar's "Big-3," i.e.; Penske, Ganassi and Andretti being Chevrolet powered, not to mention the defection of Sarah Fisher Hartman to Chebbie's' camp, and Hondre'  suddenly seems outgunned on the potential winning driver front, as the Japanese Auto Giant only has two Bonafied "bullets" in its gun, with Andretti Autosport and Schmidt Peterson Motorsport.

(SPM) Yet both Andretti and Schmidt have gaping holes in their respective '15 ICS programs. With Andretti's fourth car still available, (until Simona de Silvestro was announced as its pilot for St Pete( with talks of a potential revolving door driver roulette a la Dale Coyne fifth seat possibility? (Which appears to be "Off-the-Table" for the time being...)

Meanwhile, SPM sought cold, hard Dinero over the talents of deserving IndyCar rookie Conor Daly as new team leader James Hinchcliffe, with the addition of James Jakes to its second entry. Although Jakes cheque does keep the team flush with two entries and he's not a horrible driver overall...

Thus, hopefully cooler 'N wiser heads will prevail, and B-I-G' Brother Justin (Wilson) will retain his rightful place in IndyCar for the entire season; OOPS! AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, FUCK!

Hmm? Why not a reunion of sorts at 'Meesh's favourite team owner "Booby Ruble's" squad. As Wilson showed "Grahamcracker" (Graham Rahal) the way as team leader at the fabled Newman Haas Racing team in '08, along with working so well with veteran engineer Mitch Davis, as Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing could definitely use the services of Justin this season; Just Sayin!

Although apparently Wilson's been relegated to Indy Only status this year? With Curt Cavin indicating the earliest we'll potentially see Justin back in Indy Cars is May, which I for one think is a Gynormus mistake!

As with NO disrespect to the likes of Oriel "Suitcase" Servia, Ryan "Disco Fever" Briscoe, "Captain America," (J.R. Hildebrand) etc, As yeah, know I'm harpin' on 'bout the O-L-D Generation here, as I'm NOT adverse to the Up & Comers, it's just that I wish for quality drivers  to get the "Plum Drives!" Which sadly, it appears Justin Wilson's once again lost out upon...


Whilst the renown 'Curty Cavin ponders how the AFX Aurora Body-by-Mennen Aerokits will potentially upset thee IndyCar Apple-cart in;


(Photo Courtesy of No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS)