Showing posts with label Hollywood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hollywood. Show all posts

Monday, August 11, 2025

The Tomaso files: More McMurtry musings

As no more cowboy Jokes here…

 

Yeah, Y’all may be saying why am I scribblin’ about Larry McMurtry on No Fenders, Eh? But He does have a slight connection to automobiles, in the sense He loved road trips for much of His life. Not to mention renting the latest Lincoln or Cadillac for these Coast-to-coast jaunts…

 

As Larry would routinely ask His uncle or somebody where does Highway 271 go to? Apparently the only major road passing His Grandfather’s ranch in Archer City. To which whomever He asked? Would always grunt derisively and say nowhere…

 

Following High School graduation, Larry entered Rice University in Houston, when admission was free to white students. Although Rice had warned Him that His math skills were deficient. And following His first year, He transferred to University of North Texas. Being closer to home, where He also had a High School Buddy attending. Graduating with a BA in 1958, before returning to Rice for His MA in 1960.

 

Larry also was a Wally Stegner Fellow between 1960-61, where His classmates included Ken Kesey, Wendell Berry, Peter S. Beagle and Gurney Norman in Stanford’s Creative Writing Center. Honing His Fiction writing skills, and presumably working upon what would become His first published novel Horseman, pass By, also in 1961.

 

McMurtry notes that Ken Kesey entered the classroom and made a Beeline to the front of the room, letting the rest know He intended to be the class’s Alpha male, albeit Kesey and McMurtry would be friends for many years.

 

Returning to Houston in 1963, taking teaching roles at Texas Christian University (TCU) and Rice. Larry would be visited by Kesey and the Merry Pranksters in Kesey’s psychedelic painted converted school bus enroute to New York city for the 1964 World’s Fair. As this adventure would later be chronicled in Tom Wolfe’s 1968 novel The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, about the 1960’s Counter Culture revolution.

 

McMurtry called the decade between Terms of Endearment and Lonesome dove His most fallow period of writing, publishing just three novel. Which if I have them correctly? Are Somebody’s Darling, (1978) Cadillac Jack (1982) and The Desert Rose. (1983) With some critics denoting these three books as the Trash Trilogy, Youch!

 

As Larry Himself notes that He started and stopped on the writing of Lonesome dove three times. And at some 900-1,200 pages was taking seriously long to develop, especially since the Cattle drive had another 1,000 miles to go…

 

McMurtry was a raconteur of food and enjoyed going out to dinner for a good meal with beautiful women. As He was good friends with both Cybill Sheppard and Diane Keaton to name just a few.

 

Larry wore large polo shirts to hide his increasing girth and when in Archer City, had a cheeseburger for lunch everyday at the local DQ’. (Dairy Queen)

 

Sometime in Fall of 1991, after a typical day’s activities of writing five to ten pages and moving books from His ranch house to His Archer City bookstore. Larry hit a cow on a gravel road, which He claimed was normal in rural Texas…

 

The next day He stopped at His Internist to get some medicine for a cough that wouldn’t go away, thinking it was from lugging around dusty books. The Doctor said He didn’t look so good and ordered an EKG, before saying OMG, you’re having a heart attack!

 

Yet the room He was in was so small they couldn’t get the stretcher into it, but wouldn’t allow Him to walk out of the room. So the stretcher had to be disassembled, before the starstruck ambulance driver drove off a high curb after learning it was the author of Lonesome dove He was transporting! Causing the IV bags to jostle and the needles pull upon Larry strapped on a gurney…

 

Next, an Angiogram was performed, with Larry watching on a four inch screen the insides of His heart, learning He had at least three major arteries blocked and needed immediate bypass surgery! But McMurtry needed to finish the book He was writing first, The Evening Star an immediate sounded like six months to Him. Which sounds like a typical writer to Mwah…

 

On December 2, 1991 after much convincing by His Doctors, telling Larry He’d feel fine right up until the day He keeled over! McMurtry underwent quadruple heart bypass surgery, where He was put on a heart lung machine; to continue blood and oxygen while the heart is stopped. And then His heart was removed from His chest cavity and put into a cooler at 28 degrees Celsius while doctors rerouted His veins past the major blockages, grafting veins from His feet or legs.

 

four hours later, they simply reinstalled His heart and with everything re-attached, shocked His heart back into beating and “buttoned” Him up!

 

As I must say that this analogy comes from watching myriads of TV car builder shows made me instantly think of when they go to fire the new engine for the first time. And that I had to re-read this section a second time for clarity…

 

Since the first time I heard the part about removing His heart when listening to the book in the evening, I kind of got the creeps wondering to myself is this how they performed my open heart surgery? Although I’m 98% certain that my heart wasn’t removed from my body, but it’s a very chilling thought afterwards…

 

 Even stranger yet is how McMurtry simply rested for ten days at His Georgetown dwelling before resuming life as normal, i.e.; driving to Texas for Christmas, albeit avoiding His mother as much as possible! And then just going back to His normal working life of running a rare book store, writing, etc. As this seems very odd to me, especially since I couldn’t do anything initially, besides sleep! Along with zero strenuous activity for the first eight weeks…

 

Thus, He lived nearly another thirty years after having quadruple heart bypass surgery at the end of 1991. And suffered from great depression following His surgery before writing Streets of Laredo with writing partner Diana Ossana.

 

As Diana was instrumental in bringing Him out of His “funk”, with McMurtry recovering at Her house in Tucson. And would transcribe Larry’s written draft written in Her kitchen onto the computer.

 

As Larry initially would write five pages a day on an old typewriter, and during His initial recovery period would write 90mins each morning.

 

Interestingly, Larry McMurtry married Norma Fay Kesey, the widow of Ken Kesey in 2011, in His hometown of Archer City. Larry was 74 and Faye was 76.

 

Ken Kesey was the author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, which ironically just celebrated the movie’s 50th anniversary on July 13th &16th. When the re-released movie was shown on limited theatres in Washington and Oregon. Although supposedly this was occurring nationwide.

 

Wasn’t aware that Michael Douglass was the producer of the film, which stars Jack Nicholson and Danny DeVito.

 

As the movie was nominated for nine Oscar awards, although Douglass said He had to work very hard to get Nicholson to attend the awards ceremony. As Nicholson had been nominated five times and failed to win five times previously.

 

Striking out on the first four nominations, Nicholson began lambasting Douglass, who said Hang in there Jack. Before the movie swept the five “biggies”, i.e.; Best Picture, Director, Actor,, Actress and Screenplay.

 

Which had only occurred once before in 1934 for It Happened One Night. And only once since for Silence of the Lambs. (1991)

 

Kesey grew up in Springfield, Oregon and graduated from the University of Oregon, and was a longtime resident of Eugene. Before dying at age 66 in November, 2001.

 

While McMurtry was a prolific writer, with some 40 novels alone written. Not to mention His massive screenplay writing career for both film and television.

 

As McMurtry’s novels adapted for film garnered 34 Oscar nominations, and won 13. Including McMurtry and Diana Ossana co-winning for Best Adaptive Screenplay for Brokeback Mountain in 2005.

 

As Larry made His portion of His acceptance speech wearing jeans and cowboy boots underneath His tuxedo jacket. Thanking His typewriter and urging everyone to support books, for which without, there would be no stories.

 

And this doesn’t even include all of the Emmy nominations and awards His Lonesome Dove mini-series and television work received… 

Wednesday, August 6, 2025

The Tomaso files: A Famous Writer’s Biography

Get Along liddle’ Doggy, Rah, Rah!

 

Recently, I “read”, Err listened to Tracy Daugherty’s Larry McMurtry: A Life Biography, which weighs in at 560 pages, and was 16 discs long.

 

As I hadn’t planned on scribblin’ a story about this initially, thus not taking copious notes when listening to the book, albeit noting some portions that caught my Attenzione. For which I’ll now try to “Stitch” together, as this expression of what McMurtry did with His prolific prose is my new favourite expression…

 

For which all I can say is that He must have been one Helluva typer! Initially cranking out five pages per day of narratives, which ultimately became ten pages a day! For which I can hardly get to three full pages in an entire day’s “work”, and only when a story’s freely flowing thru my head! As reportedly McMurtry did this seven days a week without taking any time off for Holidays, Aye Karumba!

 

As His grandson Curtis says He can remember hearing Him typing at 7AM in the morning…

 

The only reason I stumbled onto this fairly interesting Biography was due to my local librarian Kevin, and His excellent memory. As I’d tried checking out Lonesome Dove on Audiobook, for which sadly, my library’s system doesn’t have, Sigh! Which seems odd, since after all McMurtry won a Pulitzer prize for it in 1985.

 

And the first time Kevin went to retrieve this book from the shelve, it wasn’t there. Before Kevin said we’ve got your biography a few months later after I’d totally forgotten about it…

 

Larry McMurtry was born in Wichita Falls, Texas on June 3, 1936. The nearest hospital to His parent’s ranch in Archer City, upon what was called Idiot’s Hill. And died in Tucson, Arizona on March 25, 2021 at age 84. Just a skosh’ over two months before His 85th birthday.

 

Larry’s son James McMurtry was born on March 18, 1962 in forth Worth, Texas. His mother being Jo Scott, who Larry supported thru Her college degree. As She would go onto become an English Professor and author five books of Her own. As I believe they divorced in 1966?

 

James attended U of A (University of Arizona) for four years, but not sure if He graduated? Since He was more interested in music vs. school. Although He did take a few Creative writing classes. With His father giving him His first guitar at age seven.

 

Both James and His son Curtis, Larry’s grandson are Singer/Songwriters who play guitar, both frequenting Austin. James is currently age 63, and Curtis 35.

 

Johnny Cougar Mellencamp and Larry McMurtry worked on a screenplay over ten years, eventually known as Falling from Grace. As Mellencamp kept in touch the whole time.

 

James gave His Dad a four track demo tape to pass along to Mellencamp, who initially frowned over the prospect of listening to it for three months before trying it. Then immediately called Larry after listening to less than half of it, saying the Kid can play. Asking James if He could have enough material for an album by February? And the rest is history.

 

Cougar’ produced Too Long  in the Wasteland in 1989 for Columbia Records, which peaked at #125 of the Billboard 200 Albums. Painted by Numbers was the first single.

 

VIDEO: Painted by Numbers

 

McMurtry’s first published novel was Horseman, Pass By, published in 1961. Followed by Leaving Cheyenne. (1962) Then The Last Picture Show in 1966, which became a 1971 movie with the same title. Directed by Peter Dogdanovich and filmed in Archer city, it stars a 20yr old named Cybill Sheppard, Her debut film, along with Jeff Bridges.

 

Apparently He had a knack for writing long books, with His fourth novel titled Moving On, (1970) weighing in at a hefty 794 pages! With the main character being Patsy Carpenter, in the first of three novels about “Urbanites”.

 

Moving On was followed by All My Friends Are going to BE Strangers. (1972) Where the character Danny wades into river with manuscript saying He’d rather see the water than black ink blobs on pages as He drowns the manuscript one page at a time!

 

Fairly certain this is the novel with Skyckcrapper typo throughout, i.e.; Skyscraper should have been the word. Which was mis-edited by the book’s third editor, after the first two refused the novel due to its salty Texas language.

 

Never knew that He’d written Terms of Endearment, (1975) which was the third novel of His Urbanite trilogy. Although I’ve heard about it over the year, but only in reference to the award winning movie.

 

Funny part about the making of the movie, as apparently Debra Winger didn’t get on with Shirley MacLaine. And during one scene tried telling MacLaine where Her marks were. To which Shirley shot back I know my Marks! To which reportedly Debra in a mini skirt and combat boots said oh yeah? Lifted Her skirt, turned Her head and proceeded to fart in MacLaine’s face, saying how’s that for a mark!

 

As this tension apparently is part of what makes their Mother-Daughter roles so good on screen.

 

The 1983 movie was the second highest grossing movie that year at $165 million, exceeded only by Return of the Jedi. And would be nominated for eleven Oscars and win five. Including Shirley MacLaine winning Best Actress, with Jack Nicholson winning Best supporting Actor. Along with Best Picture, Best Director and Best Adaptive Screenplay.

 

Also didn’t know that He’d written what would become Hud, with the 1963 movie starring ‘Ol blue Eyes, aka Paul Newman. For which I’ve forgotten what small town America the film crew was staying at?

 

But One policeman mused it was amazing how many women were cruising the Hotel, hoping to catch a peak of Newman on the pool’s diving board, or poolside. Saying He’d grown up in that town, and couldn’t ever remember there being that many women. And we’re not talking teenagers!

 

Having scribbled profusely my massive four parts, or was it five? Trilogy about Newman in the following No Fenders tome…

 

Paul Newman’s A Life Book review

 

As Hud was the movie adaptation of His debut novel Horseman, pass By. And was produced by director Martin Ritt and Paul Newman’s newly formed movie company Salem Productions.

 

Another funny moment is when Larry attends a State Dinner at the White House in November, 1985, with the onoured guests being the Prince and Princess of Wales. As Larry reckons His father would have been much disappointed with the Sad, ‘Ol Cowboy in the Whitehouse, who was a faux John Wayne! As His father was a real Cowboy who worked the family’s farm His entire life before dying at age 77, all broke up physically…

 

Larry notes that President Regan was apparently 80% “On”, which seemed appropriate for the evening. Although in one momentous gaff, Regan made a celebratory toast to Princess David, cymbal crash please!

 

As McMurtry felt totally out of place with the likes of Clint Eastwood and John Travolta, fresh off of Saturday Night Fever in attendance. With Travolta garnering the most dance time with Princess Diana. While McMurtry noted Her eyes were the deepest, “electric” blue, reminding Him of Paul Newman’s. 

Friday, June 27, 2025

F1 the Movie, debuts today

Which surely will be far better than Driven…

 

Although the Brad Pit F1 movie that’s been promoted over the last year plus? Or at least last year during filming at various Grands Prix, with Silverstone and Las Vegas coming to mind. Which thanks to the Daily Mail’s shock headline last November, we sort of know what happens to one of the cast. As the movie is finally released on the Big screen today, nationwide.

 

Just casually thinking about past Formula 1 movies, naturally the epic Grand Prix starring James Gardner immediately comes to mind. While ‘lil Ronnie Howard’s excellent Rush and the equally great Michael Mann Ferrari movies appear on my internal radar. Along with Ford v Ferrari, albeit that was about Le Mans, but all were great movies…

 

Know that a smattering of current day F1 drivers were on hand in New York city for the Radio City Music Hall film debut June 16th. As believe that Esteban Ocon, Liam Lawson and Gabriel Bortoleto were there with their significant “others”. While Lewis Hamilton and Lando Norris were flying solo. Along with Red Bull Racing Boss Christian Horner and wife Jerry Hall, and McLaren’s Andrea Stella all being chatted up on the red carpet, according to the Daily Mail.

 

Supposedly the film features Brad Pitt as Sonny Hayes, a Formula 1 driver who raced in the 1990’s before a bad crash sidelines Him. Working as an Taxicab driver, a F1 team owner asks Him to come out of retirement to mentor “Noah” Pearce, an F1 prodigy for His “Apex” (APX) Grand Prix team.

 

Hmm, first Matt Damon plays ‘Ol shel’, nee Carroll Shelby in Ford v Ferrari. And Danny Sullivan, who raced one year in formula 1 was a New York Taxi driver previously…

 

Have purposely tried not paying too much Attenzione to this movie, since on the surface the plot sounds somewhat reminiscent of the worst

Racing film ever. Y’all know, Driven Starring Sylvester Stallone as Joe Tanto in Driven. Which I saw on the Big screen at a regal Beagle cinema how many decades ago?

 

Although I was never a fan of Daze ‘O Blunder’, aka Days of Thunder. Starring Tom Cruise, directed by the late Tony Scott and co-produced by Jerry Bruckheimer.

 

Along with Pitt, the film also stars Danson Idris as Joshua “Noah” Pearce. Kerry Condon as Kate McKenna, APX GP Technical Director. Tobias Menzies as Peter Bannin, APX Board Member. Kim Bodnia as Caspar Molinski, team principal. And Javier Barden as Ruben Cervante, team owner, Sonny’s friend and former F1 teammate.

 

The film is directed by Joseph Kosinski, and the screenplay was written by Ehren Kruger, along with Kosinski.

 

Hollywood “mogul” Jerry Bruckheimer, who just so happens to be co-owner of the NHL Seattle Kraken, is one of the film’s producers. While other producers include the likes of Lewis Hamilton, Joseph Kosinski and Brad Pitt. With an estimated budget of $200-300 million.

 

The movie weighs in at 156 minutes (2Hrs, 36mins) and includes all ten Formula 1 teams and drivers from the 2023 F1 season.

 

The musical score was composed by Hans Zimmer, who previously worked with Kosinski on Top gun, Maverick, along with composing the score for Ron Howard’s Rush.

 

Know that Lewis Hamilton was also involved as a consultant on the film, so I think it should be a good film overall. As I didn’t “read” the article about Hamilton being nervous over how His fellow Formula 1 drivers would receive the film, which I think they saw at a private screening in Monaco.

 

Although I didn’t “See” Top gun, Maverick, I know it was All the rage and a certified Box Offic Hit!

 

And as long as the movie stays away from the gimmickry of Joe Tanto piling up four quarters on the exact same spot on His front tyre as the opening sequence! And we just enjoy the movie for its entertainment value, and don’t critique its Hollywood theatrics, then it should be a good ride… 

Thursday, May 1, 2025

Rotten Tomatoes, or should that be Tamales?

Y’all say PanaMax, I say Canamax…

 

Previously, the Armani Canamax champ car team was in the midst of a slate of rotating drivers. Most notably Jaque Dudley from Up North Eh! Having been dumped after our new Pretender-in-chief Billy Jo Bradshaw had won election to our nation’s highest office in a big, beautiful landslide…

 

Thus, the teams major Domo, a one Preston Henry Winchester III was hard at work as always to ring a few more ounces of performance out of His racing teams, and ultimately improving it’s owners and shareholders bottom lines.

 

Audrey,  get Dumfries, Duquione and Duncan on the line for me. Yes Mr. Winchester. Mr. W’, Baron Dumfries is currently in the Cotswold’s at His Hunting Chalet, but I’ve got (Junior partner) Gerrard Duncan on the phone…

 

Gerrard, what’s the latest on our lawsuit vs. that Pipsqueak Jonathan Truxbury? What do you mean He won’t pay the $100m (Australian Pounds) I’m requesting!

 

Very well. Look, every Damn time that Fucking ‘lil No Good Truxbury wins a race, I want you to request an extra $2 million in putative damages. And every time He finishes ahead of any of my Armani Champ Cars, tack on an extra one million! As that should make that Bloody Limey squirm!

 

Now look Gerrard, the reason I called was that we’ve got to do something about the illegal usage of the word Panamax All these wanton Burmese ship builders are building lately. As it’s leaving a bad stain upon our racing company…

 

Yeah, I’ll call my buddy Elroid in DC and see if He can get me a meeting with our Fearless leader.

 

Audrey, aske our truck driver Roscoe Snow to come see me immediately. Yes Mr. W. You asked to see me Mr. Winchester.

 

Does your ‘Ol Man still have His 50th Anniversary Peterbilt KP900 tractor that He used to haul Coors from Texarkana? Good, ask Him if He can meet me in Nashville at the Mockingbird Cafe tomorrow afternoon, its important. Yes Mr. Winchester. And tell Himn to leave His dog Butch Home…

 

Audrey, I’m going for a drive in the countryside. Tell Hugo to bring over my Canamax SP500 Special Spyder pronto, even if He’s at the Gym!

 

Hey Elroid, “What’s the Haps?” Yeah, you’re telling me about the price of Eggs! Thar’ one of our signature pancake brand’s main ingredient.  Yes Elroid, I’m calling on an encrypted SpartoCuss’ App. No, I didn’t add any of my family to it, What, Oh Never Nind elroid!

 

Look, I’d really like to meet with El Presidente to find out what He’s gonna do about the Peruvian Canal? Or at the very least tack on some sort of Canal usage fee to All of these PanaMax cargo ships sailing round the world. As they’re infringing upon our brand name…

 

Look, just let Him play with some of your Double Eagle gold pieces and Silver dollars. As He likes shiny things. Oh, I’ve gotta take this call from Achmed pdiumSoulayium. He’s threatening to Fine one of our drivers for saying the word Fart on the podium in Dubai…

 

Hello Mr. Snow, I’m glad you could join me for lunch. Yes, your son Roscoe’s doing a bang-up job for us. Now look Mr. Snow, or can I call you Cletus?

 

Ok Snowman’, here’s the deal. I’ve got to get 45,000 Grade Double A cage free snow downy pampered Eggs off of my books immediately before they All Hatch! No, I really thought we’d be able to move them over the Easter weekend…

 

Your son Roscoe’s loading them in a Gold Peterbilt KP9000C 100th Anniversary Sleeper tractor. All you’ve got to do is drive them up to The Great White North! To our William Joseph & Sons Bakery, where we’ll use them to make Doughnuts. And then return with 500 cases of O’Flaughtery’s Beer.

 

Yeah I know that there’s Triple-rate Dutys to pay now for crossing into our fine northern state, but you leave that to me. As I’m getting Billy Jo Bradshaw to write us a note saying we Don’t have to pay these, and you’ve got special permission to transport whatever you want!

 

Yeah, I’ve already spoken to the Bandit’. And Clint says He and His Old Lady Sally are in also, and will run interference for you like always.

 

Nope, they’re going in separate cars this time, since we know how they like to go Skinny-dipping at Niagara Falls! As Clint will be driving a black Canamax C45 Hypercar. While Sally will be running Caboose in Her black Canamax Rosberg LP675 tribute model.

 

As the three of you really shouldn’t have any problems outrunning those Mounty’, even if they’re on Arabian Horses. Any questions Cletus?

 

You’ll pick up the Brewsi’ at the Marigold Brewery. It’s an ‘Ol converted Labatts brewery that Billy Jo’s eldest son William owns.

 

Nobody knew that Billy Jo has a younger brother named Shane Bradshaw who was a Major League Baseball pitcher who played for the Blue Jays. Whale’ nobody knew until some Rolling Stones reporter listened into Billy Jo’s wife Lisa Maria telling Her Hairdresser via Her private SpartoCuss account. Look, I Dunno why His wife added that Rolling Stones reporter to Her private chat…

 

Yep, the Bradshaw’s are an old Irish family that made their fortunes growing potatoes, before branching into the Distillery business. And they were doing a brisk business with their O’Flaughtery Beer brand Up North Eh! Before All those G-Damn patriotic Kuhnucks’ started drinking Jack Dudley’s signature beer instead. As they’ll drink anything that’s made in their fine, beautiful state.

 

So I promised billy Jo I’d bring some of His brother’s favourite beer if He comes to watch us win this year’s Iron Maiden 5000 at the Speedrome in Brownsburg…

 

Yep, you’re right we’d better throw in another 500 cases just in case we do win. I’m sure Billy Jo will wanna throw a party with All of His Friends!

 

Mr. Snow, if you’ll do this favour for me, I’ll throw in the KP9000C tractor for you to keep. And I’ll buy you and your son anything you want for dinner at Saint Elmos in Carmel. Yeah, the Bandit and His wife can com too. Hell, sure even Butch is included! Do we have a deal?

 

Great, I’ll send you the coordinates for the W.J. Sons Bakery and where to deliver those ice cold O’flattery’s Brewski’s on SpartoCuss…

 

What? You don’t have a SpartoCuss account? Ok, I’ll get Roscoe to let you know via your Ham radio or whatever contraption your ‘Ol KP900 rig has in it. 10-4 Good Buddy!

 

Catch Yuhs at the Speedrome in Brownsburg. As you and Butch are welcome to join me in our luxury Turn-3 suite. Just make sure you leave the front row seats vacant for Billy Jo and His entourage…

 

For the previous Canamax Capers installment. Please visit the following No Fenders link below.

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2024/11/indycars-old-fashioned-radio-programme.html 

Monday, April 14, 2025

Dempsey returns to Cockpit

As Dr. McDreamy returns to racing once again…

 

Yeah, Y’all might have noticed the struggle I’m currently experiencing in getting thoust IWG (Internal Writing Generator) to work proficiently. Or at peak 100% operating capacity since returning from my latest, fantastic three weeks sojourn to Warshington’ and Arizona, Chirp-chirp, Bueller?

 

Look Ma, No Danica Peaking Jokes included this time, Hya!

 

Having definitely felt like ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin’s frustrating race outing at the Thermal club lately. Albeit I having been Bangin’ Wheels with anybody like Sparky’, ergo Devlin DeFrancesco, Youch!

 

Whilst I didn’t catch the final portion of Felix-the-Cat’s flattering compliment ‘bout Sparky at The Beach either!

 

Since I suppose all sriters, including the few of us remaining IndyCar Bloggers suffer from the well known plight of “Writer’s Block” occasionally. For which I never consider it being that, always having more ideas and items to scribble about swimming round my mental Jukebox than I can ever poond out!

 

Nope, it’s just simply the fact of not feeling inspired or wishing to spend All day at the keyboard! Even if another motor racing season is now upon us, and about to ramp up to full output. I simply haven’t gotten excited about racing yet.

 

Even though I feel like I’m just relentlessly poondin’ away on Ye Selectric to have something ready for posting Justin-time’ these Dazes…

 

Enjoyed this brief interview Marshall Pruett posted recently on Racer with former Dr. McDreamy of Grays Anatomy, ergo Patrick Dempsey.

 

Ultimately it was to promote Dempsey’s Documentary, which I haven’t “watched”, Err listened to, and doubt I’ll ever get a chance. Since I still have zero inkling over how a Blind person’s supposed to do the Oh, so cool Daddy O’ streaming everyone does these days?

 

As there’s a trailer at the bottom of the article which I did listen to, but found it somewhat hard to follow audibly…

 

As here’s the link to Marshall’s Racer article, where Dempsey discusses being lured back to motor racing after playing the role of Piero Taruffi in Michael Mann’s excellent movie Ferrari! And driving alongside Porsche Factory Hotschue’ Patrick Long, also having His own racing renaissance.

 

https://racer.com/2025/03/14/how-patrick-dempsey-was-lured-back-behind-the-wheel/ 

Friday, February 14, 2025

Ode to DannaCar’

Yep! It's that time of the year once again to honour the Disco Queen of 'RASSCAR! Although I’ve got No idea  think She’s got a Valentine's suitor this year?

 

Having just learned that Danica and Carter Comstock Broke up over a year ago. Hmm? Isn’t “Tommy terrific,” aka Tom Brady available?

 

Nevertheless, here we go, And Ah One and Ah Two!

 

Toe to toe
Dancing very slow
Barely breathing
Almost comatose…

(pressdog!)

Wall to wall
People hypnotized
And they're stepping lightly
Hanging on her every move each night in Rapture

Back to back
Sacrailiac
Spineless movement
And a wild attack

Face to face
Sadly solitude
And it's finger popping

Twenty-four hour shopping

InDannaCar Land!

Flavour Flav HMS Monogram told me everybody's high
DJ's spinning' are saving' my mind
Flash is Fast, Flash is cool
Jacke Vanilla sez fast, Flashe' no do


And you try to stop

(Watching’ MAC Montoya, Sam Hornish & ALL those Open Wheel DEFECTORS!)

SURE SHIT!

Just go out to the parking lot
Get in your car and you drive real far

Away from the track!


After you drive all night, you see a bright flashing light

And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out pops a Girl in a shiny sequin bathing suit from RASSCAR!

And you try to run but She's got a gun
And She shoots you dead and “She eats your head
And then you're in the Girl from RASSCAR!

You go out at night, eatin' Racecars

 You eat Marches, Reynard’s, Swift’s and Panoz’s too…

And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' Single Seaters
Then, when there's no more Racecars left
You go out at night and eat up Open Wheel Racing series instead

Like Champ Car and the IRL

While ‘Ol timers desperately cling to fantasies of a renaissance…

 

Face to face, dance cheek to cheek

One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move to slow, 'cause the Girl from RASSCAR is cutting thru

(Excuse me HULIO!)

 

But Mrs. Hospenthal is through with the competition

‘cause She's been eatin' a ton ‘O snicker bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
She's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture…

 

Be pure
Take a tour; through the sewer
Don't strain your brain

Just check out that Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue instead!

And then say it real fast

Boog-itee- Boog-itee- Boog-itee!

Paint a train, cause you’ll be singing' in the rain

If dare ain’t some ‘Tin Tops on real soon
I say stop throwin those mountain dew cans at Pretty Boy Floyd

Junior Nation!

Just be good ‘ol boyzs and cheer for ‘dannaCar instead!

Well now you see what you want to be

Just like Mike, who’s trying to pump up ‘Dem Spin-Car ratings on TV
'Cause the Girl from RASSCAR won't eat Candy bars when She’s PEAK-ing

In the bright lights…

 

As now She's gone back up to MARS Where She won't have a hassle with the human race ‘cause now its ‘DannaLand!

And you hip-hop, and you don't stop
Just blast off, sure shot
'Cause the Girl from RASSCAR stopped eatin' Racecars
And now She only devours IndyCar

get up, ‘Cause She’s gone HOLLYWOOD!

 

(Original lyrics: Blondie, Rapture)

 

Originally written by Tomaso on Feb 15, 2008

(Last Modified: February 7, 2023)         

Monday, December 23, 2024

Happy Holley 4-barrel Holidazes, Y'all!

Groan, he's at it again. In what’s now become a yearly tradition here on No Fenders. Where your Humble Scribe Tomaso tortures Y’all with his witty repartee of his version of poetry  from a much overused theme, Hya!

 

As Merry Festimus' Y'all, from Ye Mystical Isle 'O Nofendersville, a Happy, Joyous, Contented piece 'O Wind Swept Barren Rock, Somewheres' on thou Oregonian Coast between Winchester Bay and Cape Perpetua, R-R-R' Mateys!

 

Although it's another somewhat Blue, Blue Christmas, since unfortunately that Fine Kuhnaidiun' Lass Claire's No longer with us. Not to mention Ye Rhythm Professor, thou one ‘N only Neil Peart, Gil de feran or Sadly Pixie the Wonderdog, Wuf Wuf!

 

Betcha thought I was gonna Roll with 'Ol Elvis's Blue-Blue-Blue platter, Eh? But Claire would want something a 'lil more up-tempo like I Dunno, a ‘lil Ditty from Ye Muppets Me Thinks!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tk9wuADoxA

 

As  Y’all can See ‘N Hear Claire’s unique Zest for life on one of her past videos. As Claire also went by the “Handle” Panda, and I can only “guess” HaHaHa where her inspiration for this funny video came from…

 

httpss://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdMfGGJl9po

 

As may be it’s ye Eggnog? But I always think of my favourite Two Hosers this time ‘O year, Fa la la la la lah…

 

NO! Not thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown and thou Young Wicky! (Robert Wickens) Nor Scott "What Pace Car?" Goodyear & Jockess V, nee Jack Vanilla, aka Jacques Villeneuve. Nye Pat "The Carpenter" (Carpentier) Nor TAG', nee Alex Tagliani. Or our two Newest Hosers Dalton Kellett or Sparky’, nee Devlin DeFrancesco, but I digress…

 

Nope instead, typically this time 'O year, those loveable KuhNucks Bob & Doug always come to mind, along with thar signature version of a certain Christmas song! And ah One, and Ah two Ladies ‘N Germs…

 

On the First Day 'O Carmania, 'Ol Carroll Shelby Growled loudly at Me;

Son, Thar better be Juan 'O my Darn Blasted Contraptions in your Pitiful Song!

 

On the Twelfth Day 'O Carmania, ‘Ol Tomaso  crooned Gleefully…

 

12 Long's Doughnuts

11 X Rows of Shiny Dallara's

10Speeding Ferrari's

Nine BOSS Mustangs

eight 'lil E No. 88 Diecast's

Seven Bars 'O Geddy Lee

 

Like Where’s My Thing Geddy? Hit it! And Ah-One and Ah-Two…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOj0eO3zCbc

 

Six Carling Black Labels'

Five Aston Martin DB5's'

four Borg Warner Trophies

three Diamantina Cocktails'

Two Saleen Mustangs

And a Bad Arse 289 FIA Shelby Cobra underneath thou Tree!

 

As this witty repartee from Thy Isle 'O Nofendersville was inspired by Bob & Doug McKenzie, for which they'd definitely say Take Off Eh! As this "Song's" Definitely Done, and that Labatts too Hoser!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DTwLqR071M

 

And to All who continue reading thy No fenders Blog, A Huge shout Out and Thanks!

 

Along with Everybody who Assists me over thoust Gory Year, i.e.; Blogmeister Miguel, Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen, the Florentine Goat Lady’ Julie, Snowbyrd’ MJ, Randal thy Moniker King, Carpets’, Artiste Dave and whomever I left Out…

 

As ‘Ol Lawrence Welk would say Ah One, and Ah Two and Ah Very good Night! Felice Navidad and Merry Kringle! Since after all, It is the most wonderful, BARF! Oh put a Sock in It Andy Williams, Hya!

 

See Y'all early Nex Year, when “I Shall return” in earnest on January 6, 2025.

 

As hard to believe it’s just a smidge under 33 days until the Rolex 24 begins, Vroom-vroom; 32-days from now!

 

Arrivederci

Tomaso

 

Picture Credit:

Now that Chrysler’s Killed their Awesome Dodge V-8 Hellcat Charger and SRT “Redeye” Challengers, BOO! Hopefully Santa will still be able to find replacement parts from Mopar for His Bitchin’ Sled, Ho-Ho-Ho!


(Image source: caranddriver.com)