Wednesday, August 31, 2016

F1 Drivers: Who's Hot, Who's Not...



Probably not shedding any new light here, but some thoughts upon the current season's Driver's performances to date, now that the Summer Break's over and we're back to racing. Having scribbled the following during thou intermission...

Obviously, Lewis Hamilton's currently in a different Zip Code vs. the entire Formula 1 field! As it now appears inevitable to me that Nico Rosberg's helpless to stop the Hamilton Juggernaught rolling to its third consecutive world championship and fourth overall; YAWN!

Which leads to focusing upon the Media Darling this season, nee Max "Dutchboy" Verstappen, who NBC Sports Network lead commentator Leigh Diffey coined as "The Baby Assassin!" In regards to his recurrent On-track skirmishes with thee "Iceman," aka Kimi Raikkonen.

Now I do not dispute the obvious talent Jos "THE BOSS" Verstappen's son has, nor do I dislike him, as he seemingly drives way above his years... But I'm still not convinced after his churlish outbursts over the in-car radio along with his "Irv-the-Swerve" double blocking maneuvers upon thee Kimster', most notably last time out at the Hunga-boring! While it's fun for us to see Max giving Rosberg such grief! As Nico must feel like he's watching Groundhog Day, eh?

As Y'all gotta applaud Daniel Ricky' Ricciardo's candor of proclaiming he's only afraid of "Sharks 'N Snakes!" And won't make any excuses over racing the Dutch sensation...


While the real loser of the Red Bull scrum' is obviously Dani Kvyat who gotTturfed by Dr. Helmut Marco, who's bath water was getting cold! And is now trying to regain his footing at Toro Rosso where he's once again competing against Carlos Sainz, Jnr, who's had the better of him in their Junior career.


As I'm not gonna do an entire Driver rundown, and instead of jumping ship, I'll stay with my new Numero Uno F1 Driver for the time being, having picked Raikkonen's past Sparrin' Pardner' Valtteri Bottas, whom to Mwah has sadly plateaued at Team Willy', aka Williams Martini Racing, whose FW38 chassis certainly seems Stirred-up 'N most definitely Shaken right now; OUCH!

Whilst most scuttlebutt seems to suggest that Sir Frank and daughter Claire, the team's Deputy Team Principal will take Bloody 'JENSE (Button) in lieu of Felipe Massa next year for the publicity, and hoped for (sponsorship) Dinero influx he'll bring, presumably in his Formula 1 Swansong.

Whilst hopefully they'll take somebody like Jolyon Palmer instead of this Lance Stroll fellow, albeit if his PDVSA-like Dowery his Billionaire father's waving 'bout is true, then how can the team refuse?

Although not sure of just how much the young KuhNuck's currently setting the FIA European F3 championship alight? As believe I read one rumor saying his F1 drive is contingent upon him winning the Formula 3 championship in order to obtain the necessary points to acquire his F1 Superlicence. Then again, Stroll's won the Toyota Racing Series and Italian Formula 4 titles the past two years...

Meanwhile, slotting in at No. 2 on my 2016 Top-3 Formula 1 Drivers list is MAGS' JR. Formally known as Kevin "Bacon" Magnussen, as he's the driver who most excites me these days, with NO Disrespect to his rookie team-Mate Joly' intended. Although Kevin, like Max above, has been criticized for blocking this season, who I can't remember against? And not sure where either, but he did get tagged with a 5-second penalty for blocking at Austria.

Thus, it seems like the most plumb seat(s) available on the grid are the Works Renault drives, although Magnussen should retain his. And I'd really like to see Bottas land here, but then I'd be in another conundrum like Indy Cars, where it just DON'T feel right rootin' for two drivers on the same team, a la Team Penske's Will Power and Simon Pagenaud, who used to be my numbers two-three favourites after Justin B-I-G' UNIT Wilson...

And if rumours are true, then Renault might find itself quite happy to take Carlos Slim's Telmex Pesos and the services of Sergio Perez, who seems like one of the hottest drivers currently. And with Force India's amazing performances, who could conceivably overtake Williams in the Constructors chase, why would Checa' want to move over to Grove?

My Numero Tres F1 Driver hails from Der Fatherland, but isn't the once Incredible Hulkster', nee Nico Hulkenberg, but instead the somewhat unnoticeable Pascal Wehrlein, the reigning DTM champion who's maiden Grands Prix point, tenth place at Spielberg gives the revitalized Manor Racing a leg up upon Sauber, who are currently stone last on the Constructors table with Goose-eggs.

And with Mercedes Boss Toto Wolff's glowing assessment of Wehrlein's talents, and presumably wishing to groom the young German for future Works status, alongside Mercedes other glowing Young Gun, nee Esteban Ocon. It's easy to speculate that if a drive opens up at either Williams or Force India, Wehrlein could be promoted with Ocon taking his seat at Manor?

As I penned those thoughts prior to Ocon being named as Haryanto's replacement for the remainder of this season at Manor, who's obviously also being Fast Tracked for a Fulltime Gig next year...
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And lastly, it's pretty comical to Mwah how 'Ol Fredrico Suave, aka Fred Alonso's suddenly singing Coomb-bi-Yah! Proclaiming that the team will fight for the title in 2017? as Me Thinks Fernando's trying to ensure he gets his largish Dinero for another year, since it seems like he's effectively Shot his Wad!

As I'm sure I'll be resetting my Top-3 Driver choices next season, since I'm very intrigued over Stoffel Vandoorne, who should be part of Formula 1's Next Wave of Superstars, right? And even more curious who the young Belgian's team-mate will be in 2018. As it now seems pretty obvious that you can only win a championship as a Works outfit, i.e.; McLaren-Honda, Mercedes, Red Bull/Tag Heuer, Renault and Scuderia Ferrari.

And speakin' of la Scuderia, Ferrari's season seems shot and one can only wonder how much more of 'lil Sid Viddle's "POTTY MOUTH!" we'll be treated to this season...

Monday, August 29, 2016

NBC Sports Network continues throwing Formula 1 underneath the Bus...



Wait! Did Yuhs hear that? How could I possibly be surprised by NBCSN's continuous shoddy treatment of F1? I mean we've only been waiting one month for Formula 1 to resume...

Obviously the Powers to Be are Quakin' in their Boots, regarding giving The Fans, remember them? Ridiculous Dumb Downed "Skinny" Sliced 'N Dice re-airings of the Pinnacle 'O Motorsports races.


Uhm? Did Y'all get to see or hear the German national anthem being played for Nico Rosberg at Spa Francorchamps? Or the Top-3 finishers spraying the perfunctory champagne on thou podium? Or the Post-race winners interviews on the Podium? Yuhs know, when the Fans get to see & hear the Top-3 finishers immediately following the race.

What's that? Y'all Didn't get to see any of that? Hmm? Guess Yuhs musta waited for the 5PM (Pacific ) "Encore" presentation like I did, since there was simply NO way I was gonna Sleepwalk thru the event at Four FRIGGIN' AM; SHEISA!

As way to go "Peacock-lite!" As Y'all may be our Home of Motor Racing, but I'm really, really startin' to wonder why I keep paying the money grubbin' JACKALOPES at comca$t for EXORBITANTLY Overpriced Cable TV, when those of us Fans who want to watch Formula 1 Stateside get SHAFTED constantly!

What The Fuck! comca$t can magically manage  to jack up our monthly cable TV fee by $5 per month just-in-time for those riveting Olympics;, but! CANNOT bother re-airing an F1 race in its entirety!

This time instead of showing us the Post-race winners celebrations at all, we simply went to commercial break and then had to scoot off for a mundane "Canned" Saturday Nite 1hr broadcast of RASSCAR's Wheeland Modified Tricycles from a place in Winston, Salem I've never heard of before: Bowman Gray Stadium; WTF?

Like seriously comca$t? Err NBCSN, you cannot find room for an extra half hour's airtime of Formula 1? As sorry, but we CAN'T bother showin' Yuhs the Post-race ceremonies, even if we've conveniently chopped several race laps off the program!

But wait, we're not done yet! If Y'all buy your GinZu knifes now, we'll not only cut out another six-laps of the race for commercial's sakes! But we'll start crammin' down your throats promo's to get pumped up over the USGP at COTA. As tickets are still available...

What's that 'bout building support in Americre' for Formula 1? Oh Never Mind! It's Football season now, so who gives a Shit...

then again; Hmm? May be NBCSN's just tryin' to wean us Off F1 in case somebody else takes over?

The Other Esteban...




Renault F1 Sport test driver Esteban Ocon at this year's German GP. (Image source: motorsport.com)
Hmm? Musta been lunchtime when I began this 'cause reading that word Esteban made me think 'O Cinnabon; Hya!

This past weekend at Spa, another new F1 Hotschue' and Young Gun, not to be Cornfuzed with Mexico's Esteban Gutierrez, currently driving for Haas F1. Instead French teenager Esteban Ocon made his Formula 1 debut for Manor Racing as Rio Haryanto's replacement after the Indonesian's funding ran out after Hungary.

As I'll confess I know virtually nothing 'bout the 19yr old from √Čvreux, France, other than he'd previously been tipped as le Reggie's (Renault) Test & Reserve Driver on loan from Mercedes.

although seems like I've read somewheres' that thee young Esteban gave Max "Dutchboy" Verstappen a run for his money... As Ocon, who was competing in DTM, is part of the Mercedes Driver Academy, a la Pascal Wehrlein, the reigning DTM champion.

Ocon won multiple Karting titles before making his single seater debut in 2010 in Formula Renault. Then he won the 2014 FIA European F3 championship and Rookie Honours for Prima Powerteam en route to nine wins. Finishing ahead of the aforementioned Verstappen, who actually finished third overall, nine points behind the unheralded Tom Blomqvist, the series runner-up.

Next Esteban continued his winning ways by securing the 2015 GP3 crown for ART, before being loaned to Renault F1 this season, where he's made multiple Friday morning (Free Practice) FP1 outings for the Enstone squad along with testing duties for his employer Mercedes, where his Day Job previously was chauffer for the Mercedes AMG DTM squad.

thus, purely as speculation upon my part, it's easy to ARSE-Sume that Ocon like Wehrlein is being groomed for a future Formula 1 career with a bigger Fish in the pond than Manor.

And if race drives open up at Force India and Williams next year, with Wehrlein taking one, don't be surprised if Esteban lands at Team Willy' as Bloody 'JENSE's team-mate next year. Since after all, Manor runs Mercedes lumps'; Err PU's (Power Unit) and major components from Williams F1, i.e.; running gear and suspension bits.

As I can see Ocon's Manor gig' being akin to Daniel Ricky' Ricciardo's apprenticeship at the forlorn and deposed Hispania, when Red Bull wanted the Aussie to garner seat time before moving onto Toro Rosso fulltime. With Ocon also being tipped as a Works Renault F1 driver in 2017.

As will Wehrlein and Ocon become the Silver Arrows new Driver lineup in 2019? Only time will tell. Oh Yeah, that's right, Mercedes won't be here in '19; NOT! As pretty certain they're tied to a Concord agreement contract thru 2020 like everyone else on the Grid.

Whilst for purely selfish reasons, I'm glad that this year's Indy 500 winner Alexander Rossi isn't rushing back into F1, even though the lure must be strong. Rossi's gotta ask himself if he wants to run at the tail of the Formula 1 grid practicing moving over for the Blue flags or keep a winning drive in Indy Cars next year...


UPDATE

Upon completing this story, I've since stumbled into the news that Balardi Auto Racing Indy Lights rookie Felix Rosenqvist, a three time Lights winner this year has since been tabbed to replace Ocon's vacated ART Grand Prix German Touring Car drive.

As the Swede' made his DTM debut recently at Moscow Raceway, where he scored one point and will remain in DTM, along with moving onto Formula E for the forthcoming 2016-17 season. Departing from Lights for the remainder of this season due to his Mercedes commitments.