Wednesday, August 31, 2016

F1 Drivers: Who's Hot, Who's Not...



Probably not shedding any new light here, but some thoughts upon the current season's Driver's performances to date, now that the Summer Break's over and we're back to racing. Having scribbled the following during thou intermission...

Obviously, Lewis Hamilton's currently in a different Zip Code vs. the entire Formula 1 field! As it now appears inevitable to me that Nico Rosberg's helpless to stop the Hamilton Juggernaught rolling to its third consecutive world championship and fourth overall; YAWN!

Which leads to focusing upon the Media Darling this season, nee Max "Dutchboy" Verstappen, who NBC Sports Network lead commentator Leigh Diffey coined as "The Baby Assassin!" In regards to his recurrent On-track skirmishes with thee "Iceman," aka Kimi Raikkonen.

Now I do not dispute the obvious talent Jos "THE BOSS" Verstappen's son has, nor do I dislike him, as he seemingly drives way above his years... But I'm still not convinced after his churlish outbursts over the in-car radio along with his "Irv-the-Swerve" double blocking maneuvers upon thee Kimster', most notably last time out at the Hunga-boring! While it's fun for us to see Max giving Rosberg such grief! As Nico must feel like he's watching Groundhog Day, eh?

As Y'all gotta applaud Daniel Ricky' Ricciardo's candor of proclaiming he's only afraid of "Sharks 'N Snakes!" And won't make any excuses over racing the Dutch sensation...


While the real loser of the Red Bull scrum' is obviously Dani Kvyat who gotTturfed by Dr. Helmut Marco, who's bath water was getting cold! And is now trying to regain his footing at Toro Rosso where he's once again competing against Carlos Sainz, Jnr, who's had the better of him in their Junior career.


As I'm not gonna do an entire Driver rundown, and instead of jumping ship, I'll stay with my new Numero Uno F1 Driver for the time being, having picked Raikkonen's past Sparrin' Pardner' Valtteri Bottas, whom to Mwah has sadly plateaued at Team Willy', aka Williams Martini Racing, whose FW38 chassis certainly seems Stirred-up 'N most definitely Shaken right now; OUCH!

Whilst most scuttlebutt seems to suggest that Sir Frank and daughter Claire, the team's Deputy Team Principal will take Bloody 'JENSE (Button) in lieu of Felipe Massa next year for the publicity, and hoped for (sponsorship) Dinero influx he'll bring, presumably in his Formula 1 Swansong.

Whilst hopefully they'll take somebody like Jolyon Palmer instead of this Lance Stroll fellow, albeit if his PDVSA-like Dowery his Billionaire father's waving 'bout is true, then how can the team refuse?

Although not sure of just how much the young KuhNuck's currently setting the FIA European F3 championship alight? As believe I read one rumor saying his F1 drive is contingent upon him winning the Formula 3 championship in order to obtain the necessary points to acquire his F1 Superlicence. Then again, Stroll's won the Toyota Racing Series and Italian Formula 4 titles the past two years...

Meanwhile, slotting in at No. 2 on my 2016 Top-3 Formula 1 Drivers list is MAGS' JR. Formally known as Kevin "Bacon" Magnussen, as he's the driver who most excites me these days, with NO Disrespect to his rookie team-Mate Joly' intended. Although Kevin, like Max above, has been criticized for blocking this season, who I can't remember against? And not sure where either, but he did get tagged with a 5-second penalty for blocking at Austria.

Thus, it seems like the most plumb seat(s) available on the grid are the Works Renault drives, although Magnussen should retain his. And I'd really like to see Bottas land here, but then I'd be in another conundrum like Indy Cars, where it just DON'T feel right rootin' for two drivers on the same team, a la Team Penske's Will Power and Simon Pagenaud, who used to be my numbers two-three favourites after Justin B-I-G' UNIT Wilson...

And if rumours are true, then Renault might find itself quite happy to take Carlos Slim's Telmex Pesos and the services of Sergio Perez, who seems like one of the hottest drivers currently. And with Force India's amazing performances, who could conceivably overtake Williams in the Constructors chase, why would Checa' want to move over to Grove?

My Numero Tres F1 Driver hails from Der Fatherland, but isn't the once Incredible Hulkster', nee Nico Hulkenberg, but instead the somewhat unnoticeable Pascal Wehrlein, the reigning DTM champion who's maiden Grands Prix point, tenth place at Spielberg gives the revitalized Manor Racing a leg up upon Sauber, who are currently stone last on the Constructors table with Goose-eggs.

And with Mercedes Boss Toto Wolff's glowing assessment of Wehrlein's talents, and presumably wishing to groom the young German for future Works status, alongside Mercedes other glowing Young Gun, nee Esteban Ocon. It's easy to speculate that if a drive opens up at either Williams or Force India, Wehrlein could be promoted with Ocon taking his seat at Manor?

As I penned those thoughts prior to Ocon being named as Haryanto's replacement for the remainder of this season at Manor, who's obviously also being Fast Tracked for a Fulltime Gig next year...
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And lastly, it's pretty comical to Mwah how 'Ol Fredrico Suave, aka Fred Alonso's suddenly singing Coomb-bi-Yah! Proclaiming that the team will fight for the title in 2017? as Me Thinks Fernando's trying to ensure he gets his largish Dinero for another year, since it seems like he's effectively Shot his Wad!

As I'm sure I'll be resetting my Top-3 Driver choices next season, since I'm very intrigued over Stoffel Vandoorne, who should be part of Formula 1's Next Wave of Superstars, right? And even more curious who the young Belgian's team-mate will be in 2018. As it now seems pretty obvious that you can only win a championship as a Works outfit, i.e.; McLaren-Honda, Mercedes, Red Bull/Tag Heuer, Renault and Scuderia Ferrari.

And speakin' of la Scuderia, Ferrari's season seems shot and one can only wonder how much more of 'lil Sid Viddle's "POTTY MOUTH!" we'll be treated to this season...

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