Monday, June 19, 2023

F1: sky sports Blames Marmots Up North Eh!

As I’ll try refraining from any Beaver Jokes…


It’s been a very long while since I’ve felt compelled to tune into any of ESPN, Err Sky sports Formula 1 TV coverage. But with Circuit Gilles Villeneuve’s Friday (Free Practice) FP1 session slated to air at 10:25AM Pacific, I thought what the Hell…


Little did I, or anybody else tuning in around thee Globe knew that the session would effectively be cancelled due to the most surreal circumstances.


As a red Flag was thrown before five minutes into the session had been completed, which initially was for the stricken Alpine of Pierre Gasly, who’d come to a complete Halt on track.


Yet instead of ever going “Green” again, the reason for this would be made known later. While the session wound down with No cars on track for over 50 minutes! As the Red Flag had remained for Safety reasons. Since the circuit’s CCTV camera system that the FIA relies upon for monitoring track action had unexpectedly failed.


As leave it to Sky Sports F1 Court Jester, Err Pit Reporter Theodore, Not Lenny! Krabitz to immediately go where I knew He was heading…


With Ted saying He reckoned that some Marmots had chewed thru the CCTV wiring! And then Thar was a lot of Guffawing over Marmots, Beavers, etc. For which the racetrack’s on a public Island after all! And it’s Not the Animals fault that Formula 1 shows up just once a year for four days!


Naturally, whenever I Hear the word Marmot or Beaver during a Kuhnadian’ Grand Prix weekend. I immediately Flashback to when ‘Ol ANT’, aka Anthony Davidson was driving for whom ‘Ol Professor (Steve) Matchett fondly called Super Best Friends. Ergo Super Aguri F1. When Davidson unexpectedly Smashed into one of the Furry Critters Wayback in 2007!


Being a ground Hog who obliterated Davidson’s Front wing when running an unaccustomed third place, being set to score His very first F1 points. Before having to make an unexpected stop in the Pits where His team was No where to be found! Leaving Davidson to finish a dejected P11!


With the locally provided CCTV system being unable to be repaired quickly. The FIA finally announced after great consternation in the Broadcast Booth, along with everyone else including the F1 Teams and Drivers, to just Get On with It!


Thus a Half Hour’s extra running time would be added to FP2, beginning 30mins earlier, presumably due to the forecasted rain for the afternoon session, which did indeed arrive as forecasted. Unexpectedly seeing the two Silver Arrows finishing P1-2, with Sir Lewis leading the way…


As I just spent the rest of the weekend thinking out loud, may be somebody could drop one of those furry, loveable rodents into MaxiMillions’ Red Bull’s cockpit!


Yet with the inclement weather giving for Wet, Dry, and then Wetter! Conditions Saturday during Qualifying, wisely All of the Ground Hogs, rodents, etc. stayed Dry underground! Whilst presumably the Beavers were happier frollicing in the Saint Lawrence Seaway instead, Hya!


As I found it funny how once again the timbre of Kroftie’, aka David Kroft and Martin BillyBob’ Brundle calling a mixed bag Qualie’ session found me Dozing off during Q3… As Yawn! Verstappen won His third Pole in -a-row, Sigh! Having woken up just-in-time to hear Queen Danica doing the podium interviews.


And although I knew who’d win the race a day prior, I decided to tune into the Encore presentation Sunday fternoon, during what seemed like Sky sports was using the same local CCTV provider for their Satellite “Uplink”. Or did some pesky Ground Hogs nibble upon the cables? Since the sound quality was quite Horrendous!


And after hearing ‘Ol Nicole Briscoe coo one too many times ‘bout returning right where we’d left off immediately…


I just flitted in ‘N about the kitchen making dinner before finally tiring of listening to a bunch of noise being made over how McLaren and Thar Golden boy Lando (Norris) were Cornfuzed over His five second penalty for Unsportsmanlike Behaviour! And dualy switched off as Mercedes told another Bloody Brat Pack Brit, nee George Russell to retire the car on lap-53.


Since with some 45+ minutes of Airtime remaining, I wondered why am I bothering to wait to find out that MaxiMillions had won again, Sigh!

As even Max Hitting an unsuspecting Bird couldn’t deter Him from winning His 41st Grand Prix!