Is it A Plane, A Star or just some Really Bad
launch in to that 'Ol Refrain 'bout Is it A Bird, Plane or Alpha Centauri?
Which I fondly recall from a Great Comedian named Brian Regan, who's Comedic Skit
I first heard upon Thee Radio a Buh-Zillion' years ago, Get It? Buzz Lightyear,
To Infiniti and Beyond, Oh Never Mind!
As that was before having watched him on
various Comedy Central TV shows, Wayback “Light Years Ago” when they hosted
Comedians Daily, but I digress, as here’s the clip below…
As this long dormant No fenders story came percolating
back upon thy radar screen when recently hearing the news over Franz Tost’s impending
departure as Team Principal at the end of the 2023 F1 season.
As AlphaTauri suddenly announced having poached
current Ferrari Racing Director Laurent Mekies from la Scuderia, much to Team
Principal Frederic Vasseur’s dismay over the Azerbaijan Grand Prix weekend this
past April. While the totally unknown Peter Bayer will become AlphTauri’s CEO
upon Tost’s exit.
Although apparently Ferrari and AlphaTauri are
still wrasslin’ over when Meckies will go on the requisite “Gardening leave”
and when He’ll be allowed to start working at Faenza as AlphaTauri’s new Boss…
Thus, having taken some three years to piece
this together, most likely Yuhs already know the reason behind Scuderia toro
Rosso's Name change following the 2019 F1 Season. Which I cannot say I'm overly
impressed by even now. And far prefer Scuderia Toro Rosso instead!
For those who Don't know, AlphaTauri is Red Bull's
"luxury" Fashion Brand, having commenced in 2016 and is named after
that Humungous Red Star in thoust Milky Way in deference to the colour Rosso,
for obvious reasons.
Although No Word on whether or Not these clothes
Give you Wings? Since Thar Tag-line is something about The Body that Fits or
something close to that, but I digress further.
Or as the Brilliant Author Kurt Vonnegut says countless
times in his epic Masterpiece Slaughterhouse5, “So It Goes”.
Naturally, the rebranded Scuderia AlphaTauri F1
Team Shocked us All with it's unexpected triumph at Monza, in September 2020. Scoring
it's maiden Grand Prix victory when Pierre Gasly won his Debutant Formula 1
race at the Italian Grand Prix!
But Y'all probably Didn't see that Stateside if
Yuhs were Ah-Waitin' the late evening Encore Presentation on luh Duesh' like
your Humble No Fenders Scribe was. Y’all know, when ESPN2 Double Faulted,
And if you're a Hard Core F1 Aficionado like
Mwah, then you already know that AlphaTauri and it's subsequent Scuderia Toro Rosso
incarnations as a Formula 1 Constructor began as Minardi Wayback in Gory 1985,
when Giancarlo Minardi's Minnowesqe Formula 1 Team made it's F1 Debut at Sao
Paolo, Brazil. But I’m getting Ahead
Red bull Impresario
Deeter Majestik’, aka Dietrich Mateschitz bought the Minardi F1 concern from
then Team Owner Paul Stoddart, founder of European Aviation. With the Formula 1
operation arriving on the Grid under it’s new Scuderia toro Rosso moniker at the
2006 season opening Bahrain Grand Prix. With Red bull having taken control of the
Faenza, Italy concern upon November 1, 2005. As ‘Ol deeter’ was a busy boy,
having bought the Jaguar F1 Team from Ford just a year earlier…
Toro rosso naturally began
amid controversy, when it’s STR1 chassis was a redesign of it’s Big Brother’s Red
Bull RB1 chassis. Along with utilizing Minardi’s supply of 2005-Spec rev-limited
Cosworth 3.0-litre normally aspirated V-10 lumps’, after the FIA had mandated
2.4-litre normally aspirated V-8 engines for the 2006 F1 season.
As it’s drivers were the
long forgotten Italian Vitantonio Liuzzi ans American Scott Speed who’d won the
Red Bull Drivers search.
Speed who reputedly was
used as Team Boss Franz tost’s “Punching Bag”, was controversially dropped
mid-season in favour of then BMW Sauber Development Driver Sebastian Vettel,
and the rest as they say is History!
Vettel claimed His and
the team’s first Pole position and victory at the wet (2008) Italian Grand Prix.
Becoming the first Italian F1 Constructor other than Ferrari to win a Grands
Prix since Juan Manuel Fangio triumphed for Maserati at the 1957 German Grand
Prix! Along with being the only Ferrari powered customer Formula 1 win to date.
As this would be the
team’s High-water mark during it’s 268 Grands Prix appearances as Scuderia Toro
Rosso between 2006-2019. Whilst Toro rosso also holds the Honour of employing
the last IndyCar driver to go to Formula 1, that being Sebastien Bourdais
between 2008-09, which is a really long time ago!
And I don’t see this changing
anytime soon, with the FIA’s Nepotism towards promoting only it’s European ladder
system and totally ignoring IndyCar when it comes to an appropriate awarding of
points for the necessary FIA Super License to compete in Formula 1.
Since we All know about how Colton Herta was unable to earn the necessary points needed, even if the American driver is totally capable of driving a Formula 1 racecar…