Friday, June 23, 2023

F1: Red Bull's latest Branding Exercise Shoots towards the Stars

Is it A Plane, A Star or just some Really Bad Racing Name?


Was  gonna launch in to that 'Ol Refrain 'bout Is it A Bird, Plane or Alpha Centauri? Which I fondly recall from a Great Comedian named Brian Regan, who's Comedic Skit I first heard upon Thee Radio a Buh-Zillion' years ago, Get It? Buzz Lightyear, To Infiniti and Beyond, Oh Never Mind!

As that was before having watched him on various Comedy Central TV shows, Wayback “Light Years Ago” when they hosted Comedians Daily, but I digress, as here’s the clip below…


As this long dormant No fenders story came percolating back upon thy radar screen when recently hearing the news over Franz Tost’s impending departure as Team Principal at the end of the 2023 F1 season.


As AlphaTauri suddenly announced having poached current Ferrari Racing Director Laurent Mekies from la Scuderia, much to Team Principal Frederic Vasseur’s dismay over the Azerbaijan Grand Prix weekend this past April. While the totally unknown Peter Bayer will become AlphTauri’s CEO upon Tost’s exit.


Although apparently Ferrari and AlphaTauri are still wrasslin’ over when Meckies will go on the requisite “Gardening leave” and when He’ll be allowed to start working at Faenza as AlphaTauri’s new Boss…


Thus, having taken some three years to piece this together, most likely Yuhs already know the reason behind Scuderia toro Rosso's Name change following the 2019 F1 Season. Which I cannot say I'm overly impressed by even now. And far prefer Scuderia Toro Rosso instead!


For those who Don't know, AlphaTauri is Red Bull's "luxury" Fashion Brand, having commenced in 2016 and is named after that Humungous Red Star in thoust Milky Way in deference to the colour Rosso, for obvious reasons.


Although No Word on whether or Not these clothes Give you Wings? Since Thar Tag-line is something about The Body that Fits or something close to that, but I digress further.


Or as the Brilliant Author Kurt Vonnegut says countless times in his epic Masterpiece Slaughterhouse5, “So It Goes”.


Naturally, the rebranded Scuderia AlphaTauri F1 Team Shocked us All with it's unexpected triumph at Monza, in September 2020. Scoring it's maiden Grand Prix victory when Pierre Gasly won his Debutant Formula 1 race at the Italian Grand Prix!


But Y'all probably Didn't see that Stateside if Yuhs were Ah-Waitin' the late evening Encore Presentation on luh Duesh' like your Humble No Fenders Scribe was. Y’all know, when ESPN2 Double Faulted, Again, Fault!


And if you're a Hard Core F1 Aficionado like Mwah, then you already know that AlphaTauri and it's subsequent Scuderia Toro Rosso incarnations as a Formula 1 Constructor began as Minardi Wayback in Gory 1985, when Giancarlo Minardi's Minnowesqe Formula 1 Team made it's F1 Debut at Sao Paolo, Brazil. But I’m getting Ahead of Thyself…


Red bull Impresario Deeter Majestik’, aka Dietrich Mateschitz bought the Minardi F1 concern from then Team Owner Paul Stoddart, founder of European Aviation. With the Formula 1 operation arriving on the Grid under it’s new Scuderia toro Rosso moniker at the 2006 season opening Bahrain Grand Prix. With Red bull having taken control of the Faenza, Italy concern upon November 1, 2005. As ‘Ol deeter’ was a busy boy, having bought the Jaguar F1 Team from Ford just a year earlier…


Toro rosso naturally began amid controversy, when it’s STR1 chassis was a redesign of it’s Big Brother’s Red Bull RB1 chassis. Along with utilizing Minardi’s supply of 2005-Spec rev-limited Cosworth 3.0-litre normally aspirated V-10 lumps’, after the FIA had mandated 2.4-litre normally aspirated V-8 engines for the 2006 F1 season.


As it’s drivers were the long forgotten Italian Vitantonio Liuzzi ans American Scott Speed who’d won the Red Bull Drivers search.


Speed who reputedly was used as Team Boss Franz tost’s “Punching Bag”, was controversially dropped mid-season in favour of then BMW Sauber Development Driver Sebastian Vettel, and the rest as they say is History!


Vettel claimed His and the team’s first Pole position and victory at the wet (2008) Italian Grand Prix. Becoming the first Italian F1 Constructor other than Ferrari to win a Grands Prix since Juan Manuel Fangio triumphed for Maserati at the 1957 German Grand Prix! Along with being the only Ferrari powered customer Formula 1 win to date.


As this would be the team’s High-water mark during it’s 268 Grands Prix appearances as Scuderia Toro Rosso between 2006-2019. Whilst Toro rosso also holds the Honour of employing the last IndyCar driver to go to Formula 1, that being Sebastien Bourdais between 2008-09, which is a really long time ago!


And I don’t see this changing anytime soon, with the FIA’s Nepotism towards promoting only it’s European ladder system and totally ignoring IndyCar when it comes to an appropriate awarding of points for the necessary FIA Super License to compete in Formula 1.


Since we All know about how Colton Herta was unable to earn the necessary points needed, even if the American driver is totally capable of driving a Formula 1 racecar…