Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The Tomaso Files: Hindhaugh, W.O. A Space Oddity, CERN, Kiwis' for breakfast and Grab Bag sez' Foxworthy's golden!

The uniquely polarizing Delta Wing racing car that Katherine Legge drove to the lead at this year's Rolex 24. (Image source:
Surely the wrong way to do this but! Will try to make some sense outta potential gibberish caused by the adrenalin rush of the most action packed 24hr Sprint race I'd just listen to over half of via Zed Internetz when beginning this, which is a way MORE  enjoyable Super Bowl instead of Thy 'lil Pigskin game I routinely forgo!

So I didn't have any plans of running my own "Mini Marathon" a la those Wacky Cubby loving Dudes over at Grab Bag Sports during the Rolex 24, but suppose since I'm allowed the opportunity to sit riveted upon Thy Gluteus Maximus with Thy Confuzer' droning on 'N on, into Thy 'Wee hours courtesy of the good fortunes of IMSA's website being so easy to navigate: Can you hear me now IndyCar? Ahem, coupled with thou STUPENDOUSLY L-O-N-G IndyCar Off-season, I decided once again to gorge Thyself upon the Rolex 24 Flag-to-Flag!

Taking Thy weekend off from thou current (CD) Audiobook appropriately titled Angels & Daemons by Dan Brown. Y'all know the author of some Tom Hanks flick called The Da Vinci Code!

Its title not only seems completely related to the race, but even more Apropos after divulging that contrary to popular belief - Or is that Urban Legend? Al Gore wasn't the inventor of the World Wide Web thingy' I used A-L-L weekend long; Hooah! But instead, it was the European Scientific Research organization known simply as CERN; France's Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire.

Having become familiar with CERN and the LHC, nee Large Hadron Collider when Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen took me to watch; Err listen to that most excellent documentary Particle Fever in the Spring of 2014.

Crikeys Mates! That's somewhat symbiotic that I chose thee  title above A-L-L on my own a year plus before listening to Angels & Daemons, which hypothesizes that without Science there would be NO Holy Being or is I-T Visa-Versa?

Having switched over to, with its simple for 'Lucy, Thy ARSE-Steamed Screen reader to navigate, like here's a C-L-U-E; but I digress...

Already lamenting the lack 'O Terrestrial TV coverage since there's NO Fox Sports-2 available here! Hence, Fox Sports-1 was only airing one quarter-plus of the entire race, which I was none too eager 'bout the 4 FREAKIN' AM portion Sunday morning when FS1 was willing to air a 3.5hr segment. (4-7:30AM Pacific)

Hence, with the race having disappeared onto FS2,  I promptly ran down Thy Hallway to thou "Office" to see if I could actually listen to the race? And Viola, after simply hearing Lucy' say "Tune-in," Shuhzamm! The race was on in its entirety, which I ended up listening to over half of; YIKES!

But hey, really dig the voice of John Hindhaugh, whom I've just learned liked the company so much he bought I-T! Along with Pitlane reporters Jim Roller, Shea Adam and Joe Harvey.

Space Oddity
It was very refreshing hearing thoseRadio Le Mans Chaps going Ga-Ga over thy Leggy Juan', aka Katherine Legge putting on a driving Clinique aboard the DWC "phallic Schlong Penis-mobile," which were The Sarge's, a.k.a. Kenny Sargent's words, not mine folks regarding the Delta Wing.

Which the entire Speed Freaks gang, i.e.; Sarge, Crash Gladys and Statmann Caruthers A-L-L gave her Kudos over driving I-T to the front of the field! When appropriately Katherine Legge became the very first ever female driver to lead the Rolex 24!

Whilst A.J. Allmendinger was in tip top form when being interviewed by the crew, as I enjoyed his ultra quick "Throw-down" upon Stat' over how long Katherine had drove by politely pointing out who's car was leading? As it was vintage Allmendinger all the way thru, as he was impressed by Katherine's driving, along with a funny story about the late Justin B-I-G' UNIT Wilson.  

After Legge's most impressive driving stint, she handed off to fellow co-driver Andy Meyrick, for which I immediately typed afterwards was a NASTY ACCIDENT!

Screaming at Thy Confuzer' Really IMSA? Why NO FREAKIN' Full Course Caution immediately for a stricken car parked in Thy middle 'O track!

For which Meyrick  couldn't hear Timmy Keene on his radio attempting to warn him of the situation! As the Delta Wing  was carried off on the back of a Flatbed tow truck before retiring.

As not sure why, but I immediately recalled to myself that Keene's name was familiar, as he was Chip Ganassi Racing's Sports Car Team Manager before getting replaced by Mike O'Gara after the 2014 Rolex 24...

Also found I-T interesting that I wasn't the only one thinking this, as A.J. mentioned how it was a shame IMSA didn't throw the yellow flag sooner...

John Hindhaugh. (Image source:
Thy Voice of IMSA...
Having switched over to thee most enjoyable voice 'O the "HeindDerMeier; Ha-Ha! Actually it's just Hindhaugh, as in John Hindhaugh - Who I prefer one Helluva lot better than Indy Cars Mark Graveley' James, but I'll let that go and just hope that can get its SHIT together this year and Oh, I dunno, actually give me an easy to use Listen Now button that Lucy' can actually R-E-A-D!

Having briefly noted at the 6hr mark - Team Seattle P4 in class, then a little while later moved up to third in the GTD class. As believe they ultimately led whilst also noting that they were running in Lock-step with Park Place Motorsports, with both cars taking turns in the lead.

And as mentioned above, A.J. Allmendinger built up a lead of 31-seconds, becoming the first driver to dip into the 39's, i.e.; 1:39.9 before his lead went away with the sixth caution of the race.

As sadly, ultimately the car would DNF after its Hondre' lump went KUH-BLAMOE! While its Seester' ESM Ligier-Honda went on to win the race.

Ironically Michael Shank Racing will be using this exact same chassis for its 24 Heurs du Mans debut this June! Although obviously in WEC Spec vs. Extreme Speed Motorsport running it to IMSA regulations...

Otay, so I'm stretching this a 'Wee bit, but guess thou nostalgia tugged at Mwah, since I kept getting a chuckle out of the various Radio Le Mans Chaps quipping that their broadcasting booth was  directly below the WO - As apparently Daytona International Speedway's brand new Stadium complex's facade features the words World of Motor Racing or Somme-thun' to that effect, but pity Daytona Rising's $400m facelift, since don't think A-L-L I'm supposed to be conjuring up was W.O. and his legendous' Bentley Boys...

Bloggers give Foxworthy Two Thumbs...
And a pudding pie; Cymbol crash please! As here's another one. Grab Bag Sports in the dead 'O night, take this terrible movie and; Oh Never Mind! Since although I still don't know how to follow along live with the Boys over at GBS, nonetheless, I spent a whole lotso time laughing out loud whilst Lucy' read me that horror movie Crackerjack's live GBS blog - The movie starring Jeff Foxworthy, who Y'all know is Golden Corral's current pitchman. As they're apparently quite happy having the you know you're a Redneck  if creator as their spokesman; Hooah!

Then again may be it was the Black Butte porter or three late evening Saturday, eh? But those guys have a great sense 'O humour!

KIWIS'' for Breakfast!
Since the live webcast was working so fantastically, I elected to forgo arising at 4AM Pacific in favour of  a somewhat more decent 7AM, Hey! After all its Sunday morning when Y'all are supposed to be sleeping in, right?

But what amazed me was how the race  only intensified the closer we got to the finish! Having mused to Thyself around the three hours to go mark how it was nearly time  for their typical 2hr 45min "Sprint" race format to begin, which are the majority of races contested.

But the action really heated up as I began scribblin' hurriedly at the one hour forty-three minutes mark when the totally unknown and unheard of Pico Derani blasted his way into the lead ahead of Wayne Taylor's #10 Corvette DP, which ironically featured fellow countryman and elder Rubino', aka Rubens Barrichello, whose nearly twice as old as Derani.

As Pico came from ten seconds behind after team-mate Johannes van Overbeek had been nabbed for speeding in Pitlane and served a Stop-Go penalty, before the young Brazilian flashed by Ricky Taylor, which effectively was the "Ballgame!" As the #2 ESM machine never relinquished the lead afterwards.

Yet of more intrigue to Mwah was the unforeseen ballet moves shown off by "The Giz!" As Kiwi Shane Van Gisbergen was at the controls of the Alex Job Racing #22, who's Seester' car was my Hometown's #23 Team Seattle entry, with more upon them shortly.

Van Gisbergen had worked his way into second place in the GTD class with just 100-minutes remaining, and chasing doggedly after the lead when unexpectedly pirouetting off into the grass; CRAP!

Noting that at 10:27AM Pacific, which was one hour and thirteen minutes before the finish time on the West Coast. Jim Roller proclaimed: We've seen this Before! As the AJR Boys were trying to affect repairs to the car's rear suspension damage with a bungee cord! Sending Van Gisbergen back on his way.

As earlier in the race, the #23 had apparently gone off-course? As the team had tried to affect a quick-fix repair to the Porsche 911 GT3R's damaged rear undertray with you guessed I-T! Bungee cords! As I picked up on the action when one sides bungee cord came loose and was spotted on the banking with it flapping around before breaking off and causing a yellow flag! Not to mention the car being deemed unsafe - tumbling down the leader board from the class lead!

But the #22's initial quick fix was due to the right-hand rear suspension bolts being stripped and not coming out! So they sent the car back on-track and viola, Shane the Ballerina pirouetted again in the exact same spot, due to the Porsche's rear not having enough Downforce!

So the car came back in, and this time they were able to extract the sheared bolts using the renown fix of having a bigger hammer; Err bigger  wrenches! But the damage was done. As the #23 would rebound to finish ninth in class and 23rd overall, while the #22's mistakes dropped them to 12th in class and 28th overall.

And while it was insane of the two Corvettes being allowed to battle for the lead with only 30min left, which resulted in an 'Uber close finish of 0.034-second!

Yet I was simply blown away by the fact that the GTD leading Konrad Motorsports Lamborghini ran out of  petrol with two minutes remaining, giving the lead to the Magnus Racing Audi instead, which stumbled with low fuel starvation momentarily upon the high banks before being victorious! As one of its drivers, Andy "MAD DOG" Lally secured his eighth Rolex wristwatch - So take that Scotty Scooter' Pruett; Hya!