Tuesday, August 16, 2022

INDYCAR: Calamity Jane’ visits Nashville Again!

Like Josef Newgarden told a pouting Romain Grosjean after their Argie Bargie which saw Grosjean getting Knocked Offtrack. “Welcome to IndyCar, it Get’s A bit Tight!”





Otay, I need a Beer! As it feels like I’ve been doing nothing but typing ‘N typing the past few weeks “Contiguously!” Hmm, may be that’s why my Sciatica’s acting up? Oh Never Mind!


But with All of the Nonstop Madness revolving round Planet McLaren, albeit more specifically a one Mr. Zakery Brown! Not to mention what many have taken to calling Crashville! Hence I’m taking the rest of the week off here upon No Fenders.


Where to begin, Y’all? As I simply will Not attempt recapping the entire Music City Grand Prix! Especially since apparently Thar are Folks on Social Media complaining about It being another Shit show! For which All I can say, is what do you expect from a Temporary Street Circuit on the ultra Confined Streets of Downtown Nashville, Eh?


For a second day in-a-row, when tuning into IndyCar Radio at High Noon Pacific, which should have been a Clue, Hya! Once again we were in a Race Delay due to more Lightning Strikes! For which at least this time Mark Gravelly’ James informed us of this at the start of the intended Pre-race programme, before He and Davey Hamilton attempted keeping us entertained. And then finally playing the first 15+ laps of last year’s race, which should have been an Omen of What was to come!


Whenever I Hear of an IndyCar race being Delayed for Lightning, I immediately think of the one time Up North eh! At the 2010 Edmonton IndyCar race where we Had to not only leave the Aluminum Grandstands, but Exit the Circuit due to Lightning since there wasn’t Any place for suitable shelter! Which must have been Qualifying Day since I vaguely recall us just going “Home” for the day. Along with remembering how the Kuhnaidiun’ Air forces

F-18 Fighter Jet doing Fly overs would set off everybody’s Car Alarms each day at the nearby Train Station! But I digress…


By my very unofficial time keeping, the race was Delayed One Hour and 43mins, with the Green Flag flying at 2:13PM Pacific. And then as we All know, the ensuing Carnage began. Or what the Speed Freaks Stattmann coined as Carnage Poluzah!


Since I think it was only five minutes later when on lap-8 Alexander Rossi’s car suddenly lost drive and brought out the first of our eventual eight Gory Full course Cautions!


Personally I like the series racing at Nashville, and especially like it’s signature crossing of a Bridge over the Cumberland River. Yet I have Zero Clue if Anything can be done to widen what seems an overly narrow layout thru it’s Concrete Canyons.


But then again, I suppose Toronto’s tight too, Eh? Which is simply the nature of temporary Street Circuts. Not to mention the potentially impending building of the new Tennessee Titans Stadium being located in the current Paddock…


Whilst I’d have to say that the Shit Show happening coming On/Off the Bridge, being the only “Overly” long Straights reminds me of a Formmula 1 Street Circuit called Baku…


As for the race, I’ve already mentioned the eight Cautions, along with one unnecessary Green-White “Checkers or Wreckers!” Uhm Red Flag! For a total of 36 laps, just four Shy of Half of the race, Yikes! Along with the fact that only 13 of the 26 Cars entered finished ther race, which equals a staggering 50%!


Thus Y’all know that thee Iceman 2.0’, aka Scott Dixon managed to nurse His Heavily Damaged racecar from a lowly P14 starting position to winning His 53rd IndyCar race at Nashville. Giving Him sole possession of being the series second winningest IndyCar Driver behind only A.J. Foyt’s 67 career IndyCar victories.


Even more impressive was how Dixon and longtime Strategist Mike Hull elected to Not change tyres and run the last 40-plus laps on a single set of Firestones! Since I tend to recall that Dixon’s Crew known as the “Wolfpack” had trouble changing them previously? Or perhaps that was when they were repairing the wounded racecar, since believe I Heard that Dixon made a total of six Pitstops!


Pole sitter ScottyMac’, nee Scott McLaughlin chased His Kiwi’ Idol to the stripe for second place by a scant whisker! And Alex Palou soldiered home third after running the latter Half of the race with a Broken left Front wing!


Know at one point Thar were 12 Cars involved in a Pile-up leading to another Yuhs guessed it, Full Course Caution! As believe it was Palou who Hit Will Power and damaged His Gearshift sensor. As Power eventually Faded to a subpar 11th place finish.


Whilst I suppose Graham Rahal needs mentioning for the wrong reason. As Graham Crashed three times before retiring! With the worst being when Punting Pato O’Ward and damaging the Mexican’s gearbox, ergo Game Over! With Pato finishing a lowly P24. And I could go On ‘N On, but You get the Gist, Eh?


As fortunately we take a week Off before going to the season’s final Oval at WWT Raceway, nee Gateway, where there’ll probably be more Carnage…


2022 Point Standings

1) Will Power: 450

2) Scott Dixon: 444, -6

3) Marcus Ericsson: 438, -12

4) Josef Newgarden: 428, -22

5) Alex Palou: 417, -33

6) Scott McLaughlin: 392, -58

7) Pato O’Ward: 391, -59


Meanwhile the Top two Rookies saw promising finishes go awry. Since thought I read that RLLR’s Christian Lundgaard who leads the Rookie Of the Year (ROY) standings, saw Him Fade from second to eighth during that Green-White Checkers, Yeehaw! While Vanna I wanna Buy a vowel! Uhm, Dale Coyne Racing with HMD Motorsports David Malukas was unnecessarily Punted Off by an Over Aggressive Kyle Kirkwood! With Malukas finishing an unwarranted P20.


2022 Rookies Point Standings

1. (15th) Christian Lundgaard: 272

2. (17th) David Malukas: 231, -41

(Overall Point Standings)


And like my two favourite Hosers’ from the Great white North Bob & Doug McKenzie would say. That Beer’s done! And I definitely need a Break from Ye Keyboard. So Take Off Eh!