Can it already be time for Formula 1's annual
summer break - which surely All of the F1 Mechanics are looking forward to..
Bloody Hell! I've finally gotten to watch;
Err listen to another Formula 1 race for the first time since Barcelona! As the
Spanish GP seems a long, long time ago - which I actually arose for, listened
to thy Talking Heads beginning at Oh DARK-30! Uh, 4:30AM Pacific, plus the
race's first twenty-plus minutes before simply being too knackered and going
back to bed.
Being totally akin
to "Louise 'JAGUAR" Hamilton's quip 'bout when he was a 'Wee lad and
would watch the starts, go back to sleep and wake-up at the end for another
Schumacher victory! As now all we need to do is replace Schuey's name with
Hamilton...
Yet little did I know that my TV would
"DONE BLOWN U-P!" The night before departing for Indianapolis
and hence, the television
"Blackout" all these following months - having finally procured a
spiffy new Telescreen the night of the Fontana IndyCar race; but I digress...
Yet during this self imposed Telie Blackout,
whilst reading the daily pundits reports
on Zed Internetz, it just seems to Mwah that F1's leadership(?) with ultimately
the money grubbing Capitalists at CVC pulling thy strings. While Uncle
Bernaughty flaps his wings, Jean Todt hides behind his desk and the STUPENDOUS Strategy Group
throws darts wildly about... I distinctly feel like they're A-L-L just grasping
at straws while hoping not to pull the short one.
And with The Lewis & Nico Show still
going strong, as the Box Score shows that Rosberg's won three races from
Barcelona to Silverstone vs. Hamilton having won just two Pre-Hungary; where I
left off of this season 'Wayback on Mums' Day. Nevertheless, Lewis is firmly in
command of the championship on the back of his five-wins to NIco's three.
Alas, although I'm NOT holding my breath! Hopefully
Budapest can throw a spanner in the Silver Arrows Duo - as it'd be Uber enjoyable
to see one of Team Willy's boyz win, or HELL! Even Seb Vettel; GASP! Or even
better yet one of the much maligned Red Bulls. Although my Numero Uno F1
pilote' Valtteri Bottas was all the rage pre-Hungaroring, and it would only be
fitting to see him hoist his first Grand Prix winner's trophy there.
And with all of the speculation on who'll go
where, etc. I'm surprised nobody's gesticulated 'bout thy "Iceman,"
nee 'Kimster, aka Kimi Raikkonen going to Haas? I mean what better exposure
could you get besides that? As they're reputedly a Semi-works Ferrari 'B-Team.
Although I still think Esteban Gutierrez is a better fit for one of the seats,
i.e.; Double Dipping marketing exposure from Mexico and America. As thee
"Incredible Hulkster" (Nico Hulkenberg) and Gutierrez would make a formable pairing, albeit that
would leave American F1 hopeful Alexander Rossi who was second in the points,
65 adrift of this year's runaway GP2 leader Stoffel Vandoorne prior to the
Hungarian Grand Prix weekend. Once again on the outside looking in.
Or if you're Hulkenberg which is better? A
customer Mercedes or Ferrari lump? And Kimi, the sport's current most favourite
F1 driver could surely give Rossi a pointer or two, as Alexander's team leader,
but hey, that's why they call it Silly Season, right?
Obviously, A-L-L of the Driver Market fuss was
prior to the news of Jules Bianchi's death, which was first reported late
Friday evening, the week prior to the Hungarian GP...
Alas, whilst its somewhat funny, as the other
nine F1 Constructors seemingly quibble for table scraps, albeit the
multi-millions in Sterling Pounds Constructors prize fund awarding AIN'T
exactly anythingy' to sneeze at! Yet the Silver Arrows just serenely go on
their way pummeling the opposition, as The Lewis & Nico Show juggernaught
whistles away countless "Klicks" (Kilometers) en route to another 1-2
finish; YAWN!
You're getting very sleepy,
sleepy; Hya!
As it's a virtual Whitewash; Ahem Sir Frank
and your predominantly white paint scheme; Hooah! As seriously, Mercedes had won
eight-of-nine races Pre-Hungaroring, with Sebastian Vettel's lone victory for
la Scuderia (Ferrari) at Malaysia upsetting the German team's Apple Strudel; Err
Kart, Ja Volt!
As Lewis Hamilton has completely obliterated the competition -
along with his teammate, having racked up nine Poles in the first ten races,
i.e.; Hungary, where he seemingly made Rosberg squirm in the Post-qualifying
interviews! As Hamilton passed Vettel for third most ever Pole positions in
Formula 1 fittingly at his home circuit, nee Silverstone, before notching his 47th
Pole to date at the Hungaroring. Only 21-shy of All-time leader Michael
Schumacher's 68 and his Hero Ayrton Senna's 65!
But Williams remains strongly on the upswing,
excluding high downforce circuits a la Hungary, Monaco - showing well with its
current third place overall in the F1 Constructors standings - as I doubt
they'll overtake Ferrari, unless Raikkonen completely packs it in?
Or more likely his car keeps failing him!
And what can I say about the once mighty
McLaren? Other than Honda's come up against a much more formable task in the
new Power Unit era then its past "Glory Years," a la the once mighty
Renault - for which Chris Horner, Helmut Marco and "Deeter Majestik"
have taken great Glee in kicking about! As Grizzled Journo' Joe Saward points
out the obvious, noting how the days of customer (Cosworth DFV V-8) engine
teams winning championships in Formula 1 are long gone!
What an absolutely wonderful weekend 'O
racing from the previously known "Hunga-boring!" Which was anything
but that, first marveling over a most enjoyable GP2 Feature race on thy Telie,
the first I've seen A-L-L season long. Where Team Willy' Development driver
Alex Lynn scored his maiden Feature race 'W ahead of Dams team-mate Pierre Gasly,
with the exalted Stoffel
Vandoorne finishing fifth after an unsafe Pit-stop
release netted the Belgian a five second time penalty. As Sergey
Sirotkin took the podium's final step with unknown of
Indonesian Rio
Haryanto sandwiched between S-Squared' (Sirotkin)
and Vandoorne.
Although not overly enthralled with getting
up at 4:30AM! What an absolutely Wild, Wacky and Wonderful race the B-I-G'
BOYZ, aka Formula 1 put on! As I won't try recapping the race blow for blow, as
I'll let the Heavy Lifting be done by the "Professionals" race
report...
First of all, Yuhs gotta feel for thee
'Iceman, nee Kimi Raikkonen who appeared to have a second place finish
in-the-bag, only to see his Kinetic Energy Generator unit (MKGU) QUIT working,
and leaving him a sitting duck with a loss of 100bhp or more!
And when would you think that the Talking
Heads would A-L-L be in a lather over both McLaren's finishing in the points.
Or WOW! Fernando Alonso finished fifth - McLaren-Honda's best season result to
date! As I'm afraid this won't last once
we get back to racing on "Horsepower" circuits, nee Spa and Monza for
starters.
And the P12-13 place finishes of Williams is
certainly not representative of their true performance this year, nor is the
Red Bull's double podium finish. Whilst Max "Dutch boy" Verstappen's
career best-to-date fourth place finish despite a drive-thru penalty is very
impressive, as he's easily my F1 Rookie Of the Year so far!
Meanwhile, "Professor" Steve
Matchett's Post-race Quip 'bout Nico Rosberg just wanting the interview to be
over were priceless, as I was laughing-out-loud too loudly to remember exactly
what he said; Hum, something 'bout body language and Nico rolling his eyes?
As Nico came off to Mwah as a totally petulant,
childish bore, whom as thy 'Wee "Willie Buxom" (Will Buxton) eluded
to, was chasing his tail A-L-L weekend long! While I thought thee young
"Louise 'JAGUAR" Hamilton, which ties in nicely with the reported
lion's head tattoo he got on his chest recently! Seemed pretty serene publicly
about "His Bad Day at the Office." As he seemed to be totally taking his driving
errors on the chin - not bemoaning how he didn't know what's wrong a la Rosberg.
And while I've begrudgingly come to the fact
that Hamilton's simply the best driver on the grid, I'd have to say that
perhaps Seb' Vettel is more ruthless and the only driver who currently can
match Lewis's performance. As I'd say the "Smiling Assassin" is
definitely back! And it'll be impressive if la Scuderia can ever match the
Silver Arrows performance to watch these two go Mano e Mano!
Especially since
it was Vettel tying the legendous' Ayrton Senna's career win tally first today
in Hungary, as Sebastian notched his 41st Grand Prix victory and seemingly is
just getting warmed-up!
As sadly, Me Thinks "Fredrico
Suave's" (Fred Alonso) days at the front of the grid are numbered, if not
gone? As how many years can the "Raging Bull" toll away behind the
wheel of a recalcitrant McLaren? And can Honda, along with Renault get back in
to thy thick 'O things? As that was one race definitely worth getting up for!
