Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Double Broiler!



IndyCar, we've got a Problema!

Or should that be Have I-T your way IndyCar! As why does running NOT one, but two IndyCar races in Houston at the end of June make me think of that well worn Burger King jingle...

While although I didn't see it via the Telie', when I think of Formula 1's first foray into Texas in the midst of summer, I  immediately flashback to when we first learned of 'Ol Bloody Nige's most excellante Thespian skills! Yuhs know, when Il Lione, nee Nigel Mansell collapsed whilst attempting to push his stricken black JPS Lotus-Renault Turbocar he'd run out of fuel over the finish line in the sauna-like conditions of Dallas's one 'N only temporary street course Formula 1 race thirty years ago ironically...

Y'all do recall when the USGP raced in Dallas on July 8th, 1984, right? When the sun and corresponding HEAT were so intense that the city streets literally crumbled apart! As it was over 100-degrees Fahrenheit during qualifying, where the track's Ash-fault' had begun bubbling prior to the Qualie' session, where Mansell scored his debutant F1 Pole position with Lotus team-mate, the late Elio de Angelis alongside him.

Reportedly the track surface registered an unfathomable 150deg-f, which Goodyear tyre engineers had never witnessed before during their 20yrs involvement in the  sport! While track workers hurriedly repaired portions of the track with quick drying cement all the way up to 30mins prior to the race's start - while an estimated 90,000 spectators cooked in the 100-degree heat!

Sadly, it was here at Dallas where Martin "BillyBob" Brundle shattered both of his feet in a nasty shunt aboard his Tyrrell-Cosworth, which effectively ruined his promising F1 career; while Brundle's excellant runner-up finish at Detroit, the late Stefan Bellof's amazing third place finish in Monaco and other point scoring results of "Stevie Johnson" (Stefan Johansson) and Mike Thackwell were nullified from the history books upon the FIA convicting "Uncle Chopper" (Ken Tyrrell) and his 'lil racing team of cheating due to their utilization of "Buckshot" to lighten the cars ballast!


Meanwhile, Keke Rosberg, driving his Team Willy' (Williams FW09-Honda "Turbocar") with an unusual skull-cap cool suit device won Honda's first race back as an engine supplier since 1967! Ironically in the No. 6 which has since been chosen by his son Nico for the current  F1 points leader in this year's standings...

and thus, while I applaud the organizers of Houston's Double Broiler IndyCar races for fixing that 'Mega Yump' that 'HULIO (Castroneves) rammed at full chat, effectively destroying his championship aspirations last year... Nevertheless, why did this take so long to do? And why is it such a B-I-G story?

As for Mwah, the real Questione should be why in thee HELL are there NO lights! Uhm, we couldn't get any; WTF? As I thought this was a Roger Penske run show? As seriously? We're gonna race not once, but twice in the scorching summer HEAT 'N HUMIDITY of Houston...

Yo Marco Polo; Err Marcus "I've Got A Plan!" Miles... Apparently Yuhs didn't get the Memo that Formula 1 decided NOT to "Twin" its Grand Prix Circuses North American jaunt to Montreal in June with racing at Austin, Texas... Why? Oh, I dunno, something to do with what the Mercury is each 'N every day beginning in June. Can Y'all say H-O-T! Which is why F1 races at Circuit Of The Americas in November; Oh Never Mind!

As I truly feel sorry for A-L-L of the Pitlane Mechanics 'N Media Folks, as Oh Joy! We get  to wear our Nomex Firesuits in Houston... And NO Thanks Mr. Miles, DO NOT wanna hear one silly single word 'bout poor attendance...

As although I can't seem to find any substantive stories 'bout how the track broke up that fine summer day in Dallas, nevertheless the following story link below has some pretty entertaining pictures from that long forgotten show 'Wayback in 1984...
 


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