Tuesday, March 30, 2010

INDYCAR: Streets of St. Pete

As Ryan has noted in his recap of St. Pete’s weekend “Junior” Formulae’s outing, there’s an abundance of Race Reports out there in Bloggerland and thus, I’m not gonna try reinventing the Wheel, so-to-speak...

JOWT: Grand Prix of St. Petersburg recap
While I tried vainly to listen to the Indy Car race via le internets, which I’ve already scribbled ‘bout in The Road to Indy? It was pretty funny after I gave-up and turned on le Telescreen instead and was immediately bamboozled as it was on lap 70 and WTF? Eddie Cheever was commenting... Although I had a good laugh as they called out You-know-who running in 5th place... Hmm? What’s Davey Hamilton doing against the wall in the number 44? Hey, I think I’ve seen this race before; yep! I was there last May on the IMS Media Mezzanine listening to 33 Honda lumps blast around The Brickyard!

And I did indeed get up “Just-in-Time” for the 7AM Television coverage of St. Pete on “The Deuce,” and watched the whole blasted thing, which was quite entertaining after they got thru the HORRENDOUS Infomercial portion of the Broadcast... Princess Glitter Pony’s up to 19th, Commercial-break 96 and oh wait, there’s some other drivers racing out there! As I just couldn’t decide on whom to root for in the closing laps of the race, when the ‘BIG UNIT was pressuring the HELL outta Mister Street Circuit...

But somehow the commentating just seemed way too lackluster to me – or perhaps it was the early morning hour? As I did enjoy Rick Debruhl standing in for that Hippy Dippy Weatherman; Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute, but Scott Goodyear simply seemed to be putting me to sleep... Along with Marty “Nationwide” Reid finally admitting that DannaCar does indeed get the Lion’s share of publicity whilst the Chosen ‘Juan was running behind the Swiss Miss. (AGAIN!)

Yet, this season I’m gonna try giving a very brief Lowdown, along with Highlighting a bevy of my No Fenders “Fave-Five-ish” IndyCar Drivers, whom are not necessarily in order but simply “Alfuh-Bettically” Team-wise, while I’ll leave the “Proper” race reports to the rest of the Bloggeratzi... (So here goes NUTTIN!)


Dreyer & Reinbold RacingNo. 22) Justin WilsonMr. Zeeline’s Design, nee THE ‘BIG UNIT, or better known as “Team England’s” team leader once again put on a great show, having started from P3 on the grid. As I kept saying to the TV, Where’s Justin? As he seemed to slip back to 6th for awhile, although he made some great passes and ultimately hounded Will “Hunka-Hunka” Power for the win, before having to settle for runner-up, in what was Dryer & Reinbold’s second best series finish behind Team Owner Robbie buhl’s victory at Orlando way back in 2000 in the team’s inaugural IRL race.

FAZZT Race TeamNo. 77) Alex Tagliani
’TAG and NOT TAGS or The MayTag Man ran a good race, getting a bevy of Television coverage for having the Golden Girl directly behind him in the latter stages of the race, although I said out loud; she AIN’T gonna pass Alex! Who’s only downfall? Was staying on used tyres during his final Pitstop and ultimately got passed by Dario “REO Speedwagon” Franchitti, as TAG came home 6th.

Sarah Fisher RacingNo. 67) Graham RahalAlthough Obviously NOT the normal pilot of the number 67, I’m very happy that Sarah Fisher made this bold move for her Minnow-esqe Indy Car Team, as apparently Graham threw everything ‘but the Kitchen sink towards trying to wrassle the Dallara to the front, having rolled off from P16 and having struggled to get the car to his liking. Nevertheless Graham brought ‘her home in a respectable 9th place with one more guest outing before hopefully returning Fulltime?

HVM Racing No. 78) R- Simona De Silvestro(Hola Viva Mexico)

Whale GAAL-LLLLLLLLL-LEE!!! Guess who started ahead of DannaCar again, as Simona simply has been shining so far in her Debutant season, starting on the outside of Row 7 with some Dude named Franchitti next to her... And thru NO fault of her own, De Silvestro basically got punted off by an overly aggressive “Son ‘O Stash” in a chain reaction involving Rahal, Mike Conway and Ryan Hunter-Reay, as Simona got spun-out before getting refired and ultimately finishing 1-lap behind in P16.

KV Racing Technology No. 5) R-Takuma SatoWhale Taku-san made it past the first lap this time, but I think he’s still trying to come to grips with the extra stopping distances of an Indy Car vs. the uber-amazing carbon brakes on a Formula 1 chassis... Although apparently Taku pleaded with his Pit crew to come in every single lap to replace a worn left front tyre before ultimately hitting the wall! And finishing in 22nd ahead of only Alex Lloyd and Milka Duno. So much for the return of the Lotus Cosworth Engineering Dallara Honda, eh?

Team Penske No. 12) Will Power
What can I say about the “Toowoomba Toranadoe,” who I’ve been calling “Hunka-Hunka” due to that overly clever Red flag interview with Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute in Brazil, where Will was eatin’ a PB ‘N Honey sandwich... As Jack Arute explained to the Aussie that Elvis was a PB ‘N Banana’s Man... Oh Never Mind!

Yet Power has simply kicked ARSE in the first two races of the season, putting on a Driving Clinique on the past two Temporary Street Circuits, as I’d find it absolutely hilarious ‘N COOL if it was the third Penske Wheel bringing The Captain home his first Championship since ’06! Although I’m guessing that Ryan Briscoe is gonna have something to say about it, eh? Yet Pole Position, fastest in every session and winner of his second race in a row is a pretty DAMN Fine Job Will!

And Power’s Back-to-Back victories are only the second time ever in the league’s 15yr history, with the first Driver to pull off the feat being somebody named Sam Hornish Jr. back in 2001...

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