Monday, March 15, 2010

INDYCAR: Sao Paolo Indy 300

Or was it 400 or 500 miles? As I feel a bit like “Punksta-Tony Phil,” after having let my face grown long whilst hibernating inside in front of le Telescreen in anticipation of the two Open wheel races this weekend...

As Saturday felt like a total letdown, as first I managed to ‘Bugger the recording device’s inputs and thus was overly bummed when trying to watch F1 Qualifying in the morning. Oh Whale! At least I’ll be able to listen to the Indy Car qualifying session via le internets... Although that too was almost GOOBERED by the fine folks at Before Brian “LMA” BraveHeart ‘N Tony Cottman decided they’d better scrap the ice skating demo thru the SambaDrome in Sao Paolo, as apparently many of the drivers weren’t sticking their triple toe loops, eh?

While fortunately I didn’t have any hot liquids in hand to spew all over myself when reading ‘Jeffie’s Sao Paolo Live Blog last evening... As I’d missed the Preamble portion when Mr. Dashley claimed that Messer BraveHeart musta had really Large Manly Attachments to cancel the Qualie session in front of 50,000 frenetic Brazilians!

Thus, upon hitting the snooze button around 7:34AM, I knew there was a reason for setting the alarm clock... OH SHEISA! ‘Dat’s right we jump ahead this morning/LOSE 1hr of sleep as I ran out to le Telescreen “Just-in-Time” to see Guess Who? Whale it woulda made me spew my drinks if I had one since it was none other then You-know-who... Or whoever coined the moniker Princess Perma Pout! A.k.a.DannaCar or as Meesh likes to call her; Princess Sparkle Pony... (Otay, got that outta duh way, eh?)

So tunin’ in ‘bout 7:45AM, Err 8:45AM I totally missed the Sunday morning Qualifying session which was a first in league history and thus was overly surprised ‘N pleased to learn that ‘TAG and NOT Tags which Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute really started to ANNOY me with... Hey if we put ‘MAGS ‘N TAGS together does that mean we’ll get the Maytag Man? Oh Never Mind!

As Alex Tagliani uncorked a great lap to wind-up second on the grid behind Dario...

But where’s my Numero Uno Boy? Ah, way-to-go Justin BIG UNIT Wilson, who’s slotted into P3, and Gee Wally, AHEM! Guess what? The Swiss Miss, a.k.a. Simona De Silvestro was starting one row AHEAD of Danica... With Simona in P11, one spot behind the highest qualifying Rookie; Takuma Sato, whilst Princess Sparkly was directly behind De Silvestro on Row 7, while later on Sunday Night I believe I heard the Speed Freaks mention that She’d finished 2nd in class...

And speakin’ of Drinks... TANK GAWD I wasn’t playing NO Drinks games for every time Danica PEAK’ed at me on the TV or whenever their was the mandatory Talking Heads Public Service Announcement of her progress...

Yet Professor Jon (Beekhuis) ‘N Robbie Buhl had me in stitches before we’d even gone Green when Eagle Eye Beekhuis said hey, Ryan Briscoe just found out a really COOL way to gain positions by going down the Pit lane... As it just made me bust out laughing how these ex-Drivers still think like they’re behind the keyboards and notice any driver trying to get that “Unfair Advantage.”

And I won’t try describing the Race, especially since all of the IRL BloggaRatzi have scribbled all ‘bout it, as I enjoyed the two Live blogs take’s of So Here’s What I’m Thinking & My Name is IRL, as the latter is definitely more PG Rated... Something to do with having his Kindren P1 – P4 in the house vs. Toronto’s fiery Meesh being the only Blogger I know whose site has a Cuss-O-Meter upon it!

And is it bad to root for more then ‘Juan driver or even perhaps against your “Favourite?” As I found myself cheerin’ for TAG to do the improvable in his very first outing for his brand new FAZZT Race Team... Then it was onto Justin before it was obvious they’d gotten the strategy wrong, before ultimately rooting for Will “Hunka-Hunka” Power... As that Hippy Dippy Weatherman, a.k.a. Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute broke into a really BAD segway ‘bout Elvis when asking the Aussie if he knew that Mr. Presley was a big PB ‘N Banana’s Fan when asking Will what’s-ya eatin? No, Thank You Very Little Jack!

But back to Rio, Err Sao Paolo ‘N the Hippy-Dippy guy, as yuh got the second part right Sparky! Err that Mother of All Rainstorms... As I don’t believe I’ve ever heard/seen HAIL during a racing event... So spare a thought for all of those devoted Fans, not to mention brave Track workers along with everybody who did a great job in getting the show back on the road! Not to mention did Y’all notice that there was LOTSO passing on a “Twisty” circuit, eh?

And hey, wasn’t it COOL how Versus BUMPED the program following the Indy Car race instead of breaking away for Golf or Veggie Slicers when the Rain’s Red Flag period made the show go past the 11:30AM end time... Or did I just imagine that?

As wouldn’t it be funny if it was the “Toowoomba Toronadoe” (Thanxs, Jeffie) who delivered The Captain’s second “Wally,” Err IndyCar Crown? So keep kickin’ ARSE Will and Good On You Mate! As you’ve definitely Passed the Audition! As in what’s up with those bloody, blistered hands, CRIKEY’S!

And that was before I’d even watched the day’s Big Show, the Formula 1 race from Bahrain, which I have to admit was kinda a let down after the Sao Paolo Hydrofest!