Tuesday, March 29, 2011

F1: Time Capsule - Aussie Flashback (Con’t)


So in the wake ‘O Seahawks Football Playoff fever – I made myself sit down and finally finish watching Ye old Memorex of the Twenty-oh-Nine Australian Grand Prix. ‘GAWD! That was so long ago, eh? Y’all do recall when the Seahawks defeated the defending SuperBowl Champions, right? As this revisiting of ‘OZ was partly in hopes of getting me jazzed for my impending trip Down Under...

Sunday, Race: 2009 Australian GP
So I cannot say that it was an overly exciting race... As BLOODY ‘JENSE (Button) seemed to simply motor away from the pack – with all of the excitement being caused by his BRAWN GP teammate ‘Rubino (Barrichello) who somehow managed to activate the car’s Anti-stall mechanism upon Duffing it off of the line and promptly dropping backwards – causing mayhem behind him. Yet Rubino’s Post-race interview was extremely entertaining; as the somewhat doubting Brazilian claimed that ‘Dem BRAWN’s were STRONG! Having been hit from every where’s – behind, side, front, basically pinballing his way in to an unexpected runner-up finish...
And SPEED’s Bob Varsha put the Kiss-of-Death upon Team Willie’s Kazuki Nakajima, extolling how exelante the Japanese Piloto was doing; musing that he may even finish on the podium, one place above his father... Before the Williams F1 rookie promptly ricocheted: Bing Bing-BBBBB-bing! Ricochet Rabbit; Hya! As ‘KaasZu bounced off a kerb and crashed his way mightily outta the Grand Prix...
This accident spewed carbon fibre carnage all over the racetrack and it was unexplainable how long it first took to deploy the Safety Car and then it was even stranger trying to find out why its recalling took so extraordinarily long...
As Louise ‘JAGUAR Hamilton could be heard complaining how he had NO grip with his COLD tyres... Which had gone completely OFF the boil whilst trundling ‘round behind Bernd Mayliner & the AMG Safety Car, albeit Jenson Button noted the exact same problema during the Post-race interview...
But at least they didn’t have the same problema Nelson Piquet Jr. did upon the late restart – when he promptly spun-off into the Kitty-litter after the Green-flag flew; telling the team on the In-car radio – Sorry Guy’s; the brakes just went squirrelly! (Crazy...)
Going back to action – we suddenly had a race for P2 – as ‘JENSE serenely set off into the fading rays ‘O light as dusk fast approached. Yet Master ‘Zebb (Vettel) was suddenly being hoonded by The Krakow Kid, (Robert Kubica) as the BMW Sauber was clearly quicker upon its hard rubber (Prime tyres) vs. the German, whose Red Bull was squirming under the pressure upon its soft rubber. (Option tyres) As the two drivers promptly collided – ending both of their respective races in tears, albeit Vettel tried limping along on 3-wheels before ultimately being Black-flagged.
And Vettel’s accident which he proclaimed via the world feed was a STUPID accident – triggered my memory that the young German got his team a $50k fine for his defensive driving techniques vs. Kubica, also incurring a 10-place grid spot penalty the following race in Malaysia...
As I’d thought that Vettel, who’d trailed ‘JENSE nearly the whole race, as the two drivers pulled out up to between a 19-27 second advantage, would wind-up in this order, albeit Kubica’s BMW-Sauber was closing fast, whilst ‘Rubino looked set to finish no better than fourth place. I’m sure that the Trulli Scrumptious was somewhat surprised to end up on the podium’s final step on his 200th Grand Prix start, eh? Especially after both Toyota’s had begun the race from Pitlane after having failed their technical rear wing inspection.
And Lewis Hamilton had to be pleasantly surprised to have clawed his way up to fourth overall after having started P18 – his worst starting position to that moment. Hamilton dropped to 20th after the team was forced to change his Gearbox when the young Briton had chewed-up fourth gear in Qualifying, hence why ‘Louise never turned a lap in Q2.
Fast Forward to 2011, Bahrain ‘N Beyond...
For Mwah, the traditional season opening F1 race is the Australian GP, which after 14yrs, was uprooted to make way for some sorta games? As I know it swapped dates in ’06 to not conflict with the Commonwealth Games... Just cannot remember why they got pushed back in 2010; Hmm? Perhaps it was due to Uncle Bernaughty’s incessant demands to run at nighttime in order to make for better European TV viewing, eh? My, that sure is funny as Bernie doesn’t seem to give a RAT’S ARSE when it comes on the telie stateside...
And thus Bahrain took Albert Park’s opening slot upon the Grand Prix calendar last year, albeit a very boring race over a supposedly new ‘N improved longer circuit – who’s new inboard section was so BUMPY that Hispania’s F1 debutant Karun “Cowboy” Chandhok spun off after hitting a bump he was unaware of before even completing 2-laps of the race.
In Chandhok’s defense, the rookie Indian driver was definitely up against the dreaded 8-ball, as his car was completed so late, that I seem to recall that his first ever four flying laps came during the Saturday’s Q1 Qualie session; aye Karumba!
Obviously when I made my plans to attend this year’s Australian GP, I had NO idea of the civil unrest that would sweep across Bahrain ‘N Beyond – and thus, I’m now partaking the 2011 season opener in Melbourne. And having missed my opportunity to witness the Grand Prix in Adelaide, with all of the current blatherin’ occurring over whether or not Melbourne can afford to continue hosting Uncle Bernaughty’s High Flying Troupes, nee Formula One – it’s definitely a good thingy that I’m going now while there’s still a race to witness, eh?
So, who’ll win in Albert Park this year? As I suppose the Fans would go WONKY if Mark “Handlebarz” Webber could win it – which would be absolutely FANTASTIC for Mwah, although I suppose a betting man would wager his cash upon either Vettel, Hamilton or Alonso, eh? Now I’d better Bugger Off ‘N go find a cold Fosters; Cheers Mates!

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