Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Dolling Up “Monnaquoe”


Current news abounds over Formula 1’s architect Herman Tilke’s recent visit to Delhi to envision India’s potential Grand Prix circuit. While plans have already been unveiled for Singapore with Valencia also hoping for a seaside event.

And with all of the current “hype” over Formula 1’s future makeover towards glitzy waterfront street circuits… Monaco is looking for ways to keep itself in the media spotlight.

You may recall previous full blown media blitzes involving various moguls of the film industry, as Hollywood uses F1’s crown jewel to pitch its latest products.

In the past Jaguar ironically ran with Terminator T3 logo’s plastered on its flanks as well as having Mr. Terminator “AWNIE” stalking the paddock. While my personal favourite was when Mr. Ecclestone unleashed his “Storm Troopers” on the principality, while busily trying to untangle himself from Princess Lea’s hairdo...

Then again there was the dubious diamond “heist” performed by the struggling Jaguar team. You may recall that the nose of their chassis was diamond encrusted and the diamonds were “lost” when it shunted into a wall. This farcical Hollywood script was part of the Oceans 11 weekend promotion.

Now comes word that Spyker is on the verge of signing up Paris Hilton for the upcoming Monte Carlo weekend as spokesperson for the newest “bubbly.”

Don’t tell Kimi, eh? As he may become distracted... Yet you have to admire a Formula 1 driver walking away from his stricken McLaren, picking the largest yacht in the harbour and watching the rest of the race shipside while indulging in a glass or two of mineral spirits…

To counter Spyker’s media darling, along with telling the Dutch squad to go FUCK yourselves… Gerhard Berger has instructed the Toro Rosso mechanics to donn Jessica Simpson wigs for the entire weekend…

And while Renault will be busily trying to improve its on track performance, team boss Flavio Briatore may be a bit distracted. You see, also joining the festivities will be Flavour Flav’s former strumpets Naomi, Nicole, Elle, Christie, etc. Which means that the cat fighting may be better than the Grand Prix itself?

Now all we need is for Tom Cruise to show up as the Grand Marshall…