Thursday, May 24, 2007

Hopping up Indy

So it might not be quite as exciting as “WWF RAW,” Or the Nextel Cup All Star races. But while Indianapolis has the three ring circus, better known as the Danica, Sarah and Milka show. Formula 1 is hopeful that Spyker will fly Paris Hilton into Monte Carlo this weekend to pitch its newest bubbly…

Yet I found it most amusing that the Indy Racing League has a little scandal of its own to contend with. Originally Robin Miller broke the story on Wind Tunnel last Sunday night, when he told Dave Despain that some IRL teams had been caught running Methanol in their Ethanol fuel to try boosting performance. In the immortal words of Bobby Unser: “I think there’s some Slippery Liquids on track!”

What’s that? Sound a little bit like Mikey “SQUEAKY CLEAN” Waltrip’s incident at Daytona this year? And has anybody noticed how poor ‘ole Mikey hasn’t qualified for a race since. But I digress…

Since Miller’s report, IMS’s Brian Barnhart originally tried not naming names, but has finally divulged who the IRL has fined for this incident. With one of the little teams getting either nabbed, thrown under the bus or both.

Dreyer & Reinbold have been fined $25,000 by Indy Car along with having to pay for damages to the Honda “lump.” (Estimated between $70-100K)

But perhaps the extremely high exhaust temperatures that tipped Honda off to this concoction of Jet Fuel were instead caused by the team using George Foreman grills. You know the ones that will cook anything? Since the flashy ex-Heavyweight Champion boxer has just agreed to become the team’s newest co-owner.

Does this mean that he’ll KNOCK OUT Tony George if Panther Racing doesn’t win the race? And talk about your ultimate tail gaiting party as John Andretti has the perfect cooking utensils to take camping with him while the team listens to Gomer Pyle on the starting grid.

Meanwhile, Danica is apparently nervous about being knocked out of the feline limelight at The Brickyard and has been “Trash Talkin” about Ryan Briscoe. Danica claims he’s quick but crashes way too much and “wunders” if Briscoe can go the distance this Sunday. Uh “Princess” who’s that starting next to you?

Coincidently Roger Penske possibly views the “Aussie” as another young Paul Tracy? (Is Danica jealous?) Which made it even more interesting to read that Briscoe could be in line for Sam Hornish Jr’s seat when he bolts for RASSCAR…

Quick! Somebody go wake up Jimmy Neighbor’s. I think it’s almost time to sing about the Sycamores…

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