Thursday, July 29, 2010

When is a Dallara NOT a Dallara?

So I almost missed it... (Kinda like tonight as I’m busy playin’ Ketsup on the No Fenders ‘BLOB during Trackside, Eh!) Since I’m still not a regular listener of Trackside with Kevin ‘N Cavin, as I wanted to hear what these two Pied Pipers would have to say over that RALLY- RALLY- RALLY-B.I.G! New for 2012 Indy Car ICONIC $ponsored by Verizon Announcement... (7/15 Trackside episode)

Whoa Buddy, hang on here a moment... Wasn’t that two weeks ago just one day after Bastille Day? Why yes it was, and hopefully by the time I’ve gotten back from Edmonton to post this it’ll be a fleeting moment, as I weren’t surprised, just definitely NOT impressed with those ICONIC BOYZ “Solution.”

As I was left immediately ponderin’ after that ‘Mega Dog ‘N Pony show; did somebody say Pony? Like in where was Princess Sparkle Pony? Oh yeah that’s right she was Twitterin’ away ‘bout her next B.I.G. ‘By-gummit Woo-Hoo RASSCAR LITE race... Nice job DannaWho???

Uhm, back to my questions though, eh?

So how long is the new car chassis/exclusive “GUTS” contract for? (Did Dallara just pull a Master-stroke and lock up chassis control for another 10yrs?)

Does this mean 2011 is a “Lame duck” season? i.e.; why starts a new team then if you’ve gotta shell out cash for new equipment in 2012? I mean I get it that the BIG ‘DAWGS will wanna peddle their obsolete equipment, but what good does it do for the Series to have a bunch ‘O “Juan Hit Wanderer’s?

And will Lola/Swift really be willing to produce Aero kits? As I can see Delta Wang, since it’s a Body-by-Cheep!” in-house effort... Even if Ben Bolby apparently went away from the Media thingy with smoke pourin’ from his ears... And even BAT could possibly do something as a “Third” Party for Penske? BUT let’s drop the BULL Boyz; (Hmm? Randy Bernard + PBR, Oh Never Mind!) C’mon Lockheed Martin, Boeing GM, Ford... WE NEEDS YUHS!!! PLEASE, PRETTY PREASE??? What I wanna know is who is Smokin’ what there, eh?

Lockheed-Martin is way too busy makin’ Jet Fighters, etc for an overly profitable NON-STOP OCCUPATION of two Countries... Boeing is years behind on its 787 Dreamliner and over a year behind on its 747-8 Delivery schedule. Although Boeing did run a Demonstration U-787 Hydroplane last year with Chip Hanauer at Seafair, it was to demonstrate its hoped for Bio-fuels production, which AREN’T Ethanol, while can you imagine the uproar over ‘Gov’t Motors going IndyCar racing?

And I sat there getting’ pissed off at Kurt Cavin who seemed like he was tryin’ to spin the Good Ship IndyCar... As this is really good SHIT Y’all! You’re gonna like it, trust me...

Yet I just cannot get over that overused quip ‘bout a Pig in a Blanket, Err, I meant a PIG with Lipstick... As please Indy Racing League; DO NOT try to dress this up as something it AIN’T!!!

Since why does this simply make me think of when I was a kid growing up in my Slot Car dazes? When you could simply snap-on a Daytona Superbird body or a Porsche 917 car ‘lickidey-split as they both were utilizing AFX “GUTS!” Which that term simply makes me think of what I get to dislodge every time I go Dungeness Crabbing...

And a “State-of-the-Art” Facility in Speedway to build Dallara Racecars... Which I tell Yuhs it seemed like Jeff Smith; Director of Marketing for the Indy Racing Experience on Autosport Radio the week prior let the Cat outta the Bag, as I was unaware that IRE also doubles as the exclusive North American Dallara parts supplier... Which I’m assuming will continue?

While Cavin ‘N Lee seemingly made things as clear as Mud on a Rainy Day with all of their hypothesizing... You’ll haveda wait ‘til my story tomorrow in the IndyStar... Which had Randy Bernard saying that Penske would only have to produce five “Body-by-Penske” Aero-kits and will control who can buy them... Uh, sorry ‘Cheep! NO Sale...

And I’d find it more appealing if there were gonna be multiple engine manufacturers? As it would be cool to see an Audi straight five cylinder turbo lump find its way into the mix, or an Alfa romeo twin-plug four cylinder lump or Porsche, Mazda, etc pushing Honda? But I don’t see it happening... Hmm? Any of yooze remembers that all conquering itsy-bitzy toy-Yoter turbocharged four-banger in the back of those annihilating Dan Gurney AAR IMSA GTP cars that simply crushed GTP into extinction...

So go ahead and do your Body-by insert name here thingy Indy Car... Just please don’t try passing it off like they’re truly distinct, separate, unique from-the-ground-up Single Seater Open Wheel Racing Cars! I mean SHEISA! AIN’T RASSCAR tryin’ that with those Nationwide-mobiles... Oh lookie ‘Dar, they’re slappin’ Mustang ‘N Challenger noses on whatever to try cashin’ in on those nameplates popularity... Only problem with it is; they’re “Pony Cars” with there long standing roots resonating in Road Racing and NOT ‘Roundy-round Yuh Hear?

So welcome Race Fans to the 2012 AFX AeroKit Era! As why does that CHEEZY advert By Mennen come screaming into my head as I finished Scribblin’ this?

1 comment:

  1. unlike the cot car, the aero package will make the cars look distinctive and will actually affect the performance of the car.

    apparently Lola has already committed to build their aero package.

    there should be plenty of "old" Dallars available in 2011 at bargain basement prices.

    you should be patient--it would have been easy to give it to Swift and say "here's the car." bernard and the iconic committee came up with an idea to make fans and owners happy, but it's a bit more complicated to work all the details than just "here's the car." bernard gave himself a ton of work for the next 12 months and a chance for failure. I admire him for taking that chance.

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