Wednesday, July 14, 2010

And the IndyCar Chassis winner is...

So I swore I wasn’t gonna do it; BUTT! The ‘Mega intrigue of today’s rally-rally-rally B-I-G! Indy Car announcement apparently gots duh betters ‘O me... As I decided to drop-in on’s Bling-Bling Website to see what was up? And you’d think they’d want everyone ‘N their pet Parakeet tunin’ in right? As the Homepage boldly proclaimed: Click here to watch live starting at 12Noon ET. Which Herroe? Is 9AM West Coast time... But guess what: NOTHIN’ at 9:02AM – Whatever!

But I did manage to log-on at 9:48AM (12:48PM NY/ET) Just-in-Time” to hear ‘N see Brian Braveheart pontificating ‘bout the new ICS Chassis... Which Surprise-Surprise! Will be built by Dallara; Hmm? Isn’t ‘Dat who Paul-the-Octopus picked?

And apparently all of the Flash-Bang Gee Whiz Neeto Press Conference left me hankerin’ for a Sandwich! But not just any garden variety Sandwich, butz ‘Juan’s ‘O ‘Dem Uhm-Uhm Good! Tenderloin Sandwiches! So off I went to my Neighborhood Grocery Store in search of some delectable morsels for something to cure my insatiable hunger after watching the Big Show as long as let-it-roll...

Thus trying to check-out, an Elderly? Lady in front of me began critiquing the Cashier, exclaiming; how can there be 32 cents TAX on a bottle of water that costs 79 cents? Shouldn’t my TAX have been less than 46 cents?

Yet like most States, Washington has a serious Budget Deficit... And thus our glorious governor has instituted a new “SIN TAX” on bottled water, candy, gum, etc. HEY LADY! Hurry it up wills Yuhs? I’ve got another riveting story to crank out! As the lady turned and said apologetically; I’m from Alabama and new to your state here... Just trying to figure out what I’m payin’ TAXES on? Oh Never Mind!

Which leads me to my next point upon today’s News Conference, as it was touted several times how the NEW Dallara IndyCar “GUTS” will now only set you back $349,000 vs. the current price of $700,000! WTF? While an entire IndyCar complete with body-by-Dallara” Aero-kit brings the price tag up to $385,000... Hmm? How can Dallara do that? And that doesn’t even include the $150k “Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge” incentive for the first 28 orders to come from Indiana based Teams... Yet I’m gonna travel to Edmonton and get how much of a cost savings?

The last bit was precious... As I really DON’T understand why thought it had to pull-the-plug on the Media Q & A session after the ICONIC Tap Dance session was over... As those of us who weren’t able to travel Cross-country to Indianapolis for today’s ‘Mega event apparently will haveda wait for the riveting stories penned by the Masses, eh? Oh wait a moment? Isn’t the Indy Racing League hoping your Humble Scribe will write about this? Hmm? How am I supposed to give a FULL “Blow-by-Blow” recounting?

Although I got to listen to the first two questions; with some Cat from WISH TV; Uh, I’d like to make a wish! Named Derek Daly asked most incredulously; so it’ll be possible for a Dallara with Body-by-Lola to become a Lola Indy Car? To which Brian Braveheart tried spinning as ANYBODY: Lockheed, Boeing, GE, Lola, Swift, BAT, Delta wing and even HELL Paul-the-Octopus can design a Body “Aero” Kit that then becomes the Branded “Moniker” of said Indy Car chassis... As Derek tried elaborating on this he simply sounded like a Cat who’d swallowed the Canary? Derek was then followed-up by Bruce Martin; SHEISA! Before somebody apparently pulled-the-plug!

As I’m still left ‘Wunderin, So, if you’re allowed two Body by No Fenders “Aero” Kits per season, is this on top of obviously needing one Road/Street & Oval track configuration at a minimum? And it still sounds like they don’t have ANY engines lined-up yet? But My-Oh-My! How I cringed when I heard Brian Braveheart mutter those illustrious words; “We’re gonna do More with LESS!” Which Ahem Brian, that’s exactly what somebody at Boeing named Alan Mulally said before he began making massive layoffs! And then he ran away to ford with his “Golden Parachute...” Oh Never Mind!

Dallara gets the Nod, sort of