Monday, June 14, 2021

Another Crazy, Diverse Weekend ‘O Motor Racing

As Thar were so many series racing, I couldn’t get to them All, and that Don’t even include RASSCAR’, Yeehaw!

 

This weekend’s Cornucopia ‘O Motor Racing was “action Packed!” Although I only could “Watch,” err listen to two different racing series, albeit a total of three races, i.e.; IndyCar’s Double Header at Detroit’s Belle Isle and the inaugural Superstar Racing Experience (SRX) event at Stafford Springs, Connecticut’s Stafford Motor Speedway. Since the Truncated Airing for the FIA’s World Endurance Championship (WEC) 8 Hours of Portugal on Motortrend TV conflicted with Sunday’s IndyCar race.

 

OOPS! I almost forgot the IMSA Sports Car race that felt like an After thought following the Day’s Insane IndyCar race!

 

As it’s kind of enjoyable in a Strange, Surreal way how the IndyCar season has been Split into two separate entities, i.e.; the Twisties’ (Road Courses & Street Circuits) portion being the Mainstay with the Ovals as Supporting Cast.

 

Since I was looking forward to the return of Romain Grosjean to “See” what the Frenchman could do for the Minnowecqe Dale coyne team, whilst I’m certain Jimmie Johnson will continue as Tail gunner Charlie. But will he finish ahead of Dalton Kellett, Survey Says?

 

Not to mention that “The Great Santini” continues his part-time IndyCar campaign running with Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing in it’s third #45 chassis. Which just makes me hope he doesn’t pull an Allmendinger Thar, Yikes!

 

Although I have to say when I thought of Belle Isle this year, the first thing I thought of was the GM Mucky Muck Vice President who Crashed the Corvette Stingray Pace Car there a few years ago!

 

Then just having listened to another Zany Speed Freaks interview with A.J. Allmendinger following his latest victory at Mid Ohio’s Gup lite’ race, ‘Ol Walldinger’ probably wouldn’t want to be reminded of when he Crashed during the opening laps of each day’s Belle Isle Duelie’ driving for El Capitano’ (Roger Penske) with the Race Sponsor Quicken Loans on the Sidepods of his Team Penske IndyCar, el Correctomundo!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2016/06/belle-isle-recollections.html

 

And C’mon, Put them Hands up, how many of Yuhs Tuned in Saturday Nite’ to check out the Mucho Ballyhooed Superstar Racing Experience (SRX) Short Track race? Where some IndyCar drivers including What’s His Name? That guy who just won another Indianapolis 500 competed…

 

And I was mainly interested in the Portimao Sports Car race to “See” if Glickenhaus showed up, and more importantly if Ryan Briscoe got to race one of it’s brand new racecars, since there’s just the 6 Hours of Monza on July 18th before le 24 Heurs du Mans in August, which will include 20% Crowd Attendance.

 

Naturally with this being a Double Header weekend, Qualifying for IndyCar was only available behind the Gilded Peacock Paywall! And then we went thru a Rollercoaster ‘O Emotions. From Nothing But commercials (NBC) every 7-9mins to Felix rosenqvist’s Narly Accident! To NBC going Nonstop Commercials for over an Hour before Hosing Us by having to immediately go to Thar Fucking, Are You Kidding Me? NBC Sports App for the Podium Celebration and Post Race coverage over Debutante IndyCar winner

 

As serves you right NBC! Having read that they had Technical Difficulties with the Bullshit Sports App Streaming portion, which Not everybody either Does, or has Access to, so Shame On You NBC!

 

Then simmerin’ over Not being able to “See” the IndyCar Post Race celebrations, I decided to Tune-in to the IMSA Sports Car race via Zed Internets. And for reasons unknown, either my computer or the broadcast decided to Dump at race’s Start, for the second gory time, as I scrambled to reboot my Confuzer and missed the first 7mins of the Sports Car race a la IndyCar!

 

Then I switched Thy Telie’ back on Justin-time to catch the entire “Made for TV:” Debutante SRX race, for which I have to say I actually enjoyed Alan Bestwick and Danica Patrick’s commentary. And when I told Florentine’ F1 Spotter Jeannie that I actually enjoyed queen Danica’s announcing, she promptly asked me how many Beers have you been Drinking?

 

As it was even better having the local Short Track Ace Doug Coby “School” All of the all-stars, not only winning Heat 2, but the 100 lap Feature race ahead of The Biffster’, aka Greg Biffle and SRX Series Co-founder Smoke’. (Tony Stewart)

 

But Hands Down, the Best race of the entire weekend for Mwah was Belle Isle’s Sunday IndyCar race, where my Numero Uno IndyCar Driver Shellacked the entire Grid! Having rolled off P16, Pato O’Ward methodically worked his way forward. As it was funny hearing his Strategist telling him to Focus forwards but Conserve his Push-to-Pass and presumably Save Fuel!

 

O’Ward made to Monster Passes on Scott Dixon and, Uhm? Before lining up fifth on the final restart on lap 67 and carving up Graham Rahal and Alex Palou as I think he passed both of them in one fell swoop? Then he tracked down Colton Big shot! Herta and Overtook him for second before Hunting Down Team Penske’s Josef Newgarden who’d led the entire race.

 

Newgarden who was the only one on used Red rubber Alternate Firestone tyres luridly slid exiting a corner and Pato swiftly sized him up and said Slingshot ON! Pardon Me, Playing Thru! As they made wheel-to-wheel contact before O’Ward took the lead for good enroute to his second career IndyCar win! As I yeled outloud O’wards and Animal!

 

And I understood Newgarden’s Post race Funk after finishing runner-up when being interviewed and saying it was Sad Sad Sad, after leading the first 67-of-70 laps. But just busted up laughing when he paused when asked about the move Patricio put on him for the win. Pausing mightily before saying Deadpan into the Camera, What are you gonna do? Which I took to mean it’s literally like trying to stop a Bull!

 

As O’Ward not only becomes the first repeat IndyCar winner this year, but with his Pole from Race-1 and two podium finishes at Belle Isle vaults from third in the championship, 37 points behind to One point ahead of previous points leader Alex Palou, who finished third today after starting 15th. While as Claudio’ said, it was a Colton Who? Day with Herta finishing fourth and Graham Rahal rounding out the Top 5 with an unimpressive 5th place finish. 

Sunday, June 13, 2021

Day of The Scandinavian’s, Cheep’s Double

Although Both of the Swedes’ goth Hosed!

 

Hmm, why did that ‘Ol Robin Trower song Day of the Eagles come to mind following the day’s second, Delayed  race at Belle Isle, Eh?

 

First and foremost, the most important thing is that Felix Rosenqvist is miraculously Ok! As that was a Nasty, Scary Shunt, where you could audibly hear on the In Car Camera replay the throttle going Full Stop up against thou Rev limiter as he Speared the Wall with his racecar’s Nosecone, Shit!

 

As NBC Colour Commentator (Townsend) T-Bell’ commented that Rosenqvist was going between 80-90mph before going to Zero in about five feet when Spearing thru the Six rows of Bundled tyres and Slamming into the Concrete retaining Wall! Hitting it so Hard that he turned over the 7,000lb retaining wall portion, going Skywards before the Catch Fencing Stopped Him!

 

As the Red Flag period would last for nearly 80 minutes, with Pitlane reporter Marty Snyder claiming it lasted 1hr 19mins and then next said it was 1hr 18mins, which most reports claimed the latter before resuming racing.

 

As the new replacement concrete barrier section naturally didn’t want to mesh with the original barrier, no matter how they tried massaging it with a Forklift…

 

And even with the 80mins pause, I felt the entire race from start to finish was frenetic! Whilst I thoroughly expected Big NBC to switch us over to CNBC, since it was apparent the race wouldn’t resume until after the end of the Broadcast’s original scheduled ending of 1PM Pacific as we approached the top of the hour.

 

Thus, I was pleasantly surprised when NBC decided to move the U.s. Olympic (Swimming) Trials coverage to CNBC instead, and even more surprised when the IndyCar race resumed and NBC went an entire 78mins Nonstop without a single Gory Commercial break, Huh?

 

And I’ll admit I was  rootin’ for Marcus ericsson to do the unlikely and find a way around Will Power, even crossing four sets ‘O fingers. But obviously I had No idea it would happen under the most Bizarre circumstances. And I broke out in laughter after DJ WillyP’s Chevrolet engine wouldn’t refire! Which I did feel momentarily Gutted for Power, but reveled in the fact that Ericsson would claim his maiden IndyCar victory!

 

As I’m Not gonna lament the Stupidness of IndyCar going Red Flag for Romain Grosjean’s crash with seven and a half minutes remaining. Other than Knock this Shit Off IndyCar! We Don’t wanna be RASSCAR’, as what’s next? Green-White Checkers? Rucky Dawg Wave-rounds, Oh Never Mind! As sometimes you just have to finish under a Yellow Flag, ‘Nuff Said, Righto?

 

But then Big NBC Screwed the pooch! As Leigh Diffey warned us before the last lap, that we’d have to scramble over to the NBC Sports App, SHIT! To “See” the Podium celebrations and Post Race wrap-up, meaning we Didn’t get to See Ericsson’s Jubilation of winning his maiden IndyCar race, with the Swede’s last win being in Germany in 2013!

 

Nor did NBC reep the results of Will Power’s Fiery Post Race tirade, for which this time I feel he was rightly Justified, but at least he didn’t get caught on camera giving Race Control the Double Bird Salute!

 

As I’d preferred the race being shown on CNBC so we could have All easily seen the Podium interviews and Post Race “fireworks” instead! Although I suppose there was either some sort of contractual obligations for staying on Network TV, or simply going for better ratings?

 

Meanwhile, Felix Rosenqvist was announced to be Ok without any major Injuries but was being transferred to a Downtown Detroit Hospital for further evaluation and Imaging and was kept Overnight for Observation. While Arrow McLaren SP publicly Absolved Felix and Chevy of any involvement in the crash, in what apparently was a One-time Mechanical Failure, while the team drafted in former driver Oliver Askew as Rosenqvist’s replacement for Sunday’s second race.

 

Naturally, the weekend’s Best News was that Rosenqvist was released from Hospital sometime Sunday morning, going back to Indianapolis and seemingly escaped his Mega’ Accident with only Bruising and Swelling, with apparently nothing Broken, which is absolutely Amazing!

 

Askew who’s now racing for Andretti Autosport in IMSA’s LMP3 category was already on hand at Belle Isle, which somebody during Sunday’s very Disjointed Television Broadcast mentioned He was there as a Driving coach for Andretti Autosport’s Indy Lights team. And presumably  AMSP wanted to run it’s second car to keep it firmly in the Leaders Circle Prize payout?

 

As Askew had his Helmet with him, but borrowed Juan Pablo Montoya’s McLaren Driving Suit and a pair of CGR’s Alex Palou’s Boots before jumping back into an IndyCar to race on a track he’d never driven before!

 

 Then I elected to Tune-in to Saturday’s  Sports Car race, which leads us to the final part of this riveting No Fenders tome, choosing to listen via IMSA Radio to the day’s Weathertech SportsCar Championship event following IndyCar. Featuring just the DPi and GT Daytona classes, with the two GT Le Mans Corvette C8.R’s running for “fun,” in what essentially was a marketing exercise.

 

As former Haas F1 driver Kevin Bacon’ Magnussen scored his first Prototype’s Pole for Chip Ganassi Racing, (CGR) leading his entire first stint before handing off the #01 Cadillac to Renger van der Zande.

 

With the Dutchman holding off the second place Whelen Engineering Cadillac, giving GM a 1-2 in Detroit and the Dane’ (Magnussen) claiming his first IMSA  Sports Car victory, along with Ganassi’s first W’ of the season. 

Thursday, June 10, 2021

Pixie the Wonderdog Wuf-Wuf’s Engine goes Silent

As Rush’s Geddy Lee once famously Crooned: “We Are Only Immortal for a limited time…”

 

If you’re lookin’ for some Hard Hittin’ Motor Racing story today, then You’ll want to come back to No Fenders later next week, as this tome is about Animals instead…

 

Naturally, it took me several days before I began feeling like writing this story, since I didn’t even really know how I wanted to “Pen” it? Not to mention the many tears rolling down my face some Gory eight days later when I tried typing some more words…

 

But the strangest thing occurred when I finally began trying to “Crystalize” my thoughts. A really long ago song that I haven’t heard in decades came Screaming thru my mental Jupe Box, as Hall and Oates She’s gone started playing over my internal loudspeakers!

 

As what’s so crazy about this, is when I looked it up, I was Shocked to learn that the Rock ‘N roll Hall of Fame Duo, with 29 of their 33 Singles reaching the Top 40 of Billboard’s Hot 100, including six No. 1 Hit Songs had originally written it in 1973! Before it was re-released in 1976 to greater acclaim, Peaking, Uhm No Danica Jokes here; at No. 7 on the U.S. Billboard’s Hot 100 Chart.

 

“She’s gone, She’s gone, Oh Why, Oh Why, I Guess I’d better learn how to Face It

She’s gone, She’s Gone, Oh Why, Oh Why, I’d Pay the Devil to Replace Her”

 

On Sunday, May 23rd, as I awaited the day’s Fast 9 and Last Row Shootout’s at Mother Speedway, the phone rang at 7:41AM with Florentine’ F1 Spotter Jeannie telling me that Pixie had just Died that morning Unexpectedly! As Pixie was a precocious 13yr old Chihuahua, that you couldn’t help but Love!

 

As I had the privledge of knowing her for over a decade, as longtime No Fenders readers will know of my many several Camping Adventures with Mad Molly and thou Pixolator’ with Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen. As ironically many of these included romps down to Florence, Oregon’s acclaimed Sand Dunes at Honeyman’s State Park.

 

As Molly and Pixie who I affectionately nicknamed GB1 and GB2, (Goof Ball) with Mad Molly GB1 and Pixie GB2 due solely to how I was introduced to them, both Stole my Heart over a decade ago!

 

Yet I changed Pixie’s “Handle” after I long tired of Spell Checker, before now using this Uber Annoying Autocorrect version on winDOUGHS 10! Away from Thy Pixolator since it always asked me if I meant Purolator? Which I suppose is where the nickname congealed from, since after all I am a longtime devoted Gear Head, or as they say Down Under RevHead, but I digress…

 

If you’re either an Animal lover or Owner, then you already know all about how much Joy a pet can bring into your life. As Animal’s love is always unconditional!

 

Thus, thanks to Mary ellen, I’ve been amazingly touched by many of the wonderful Canines she’s “Collected” over the years. For which I’d have to say that Molly & Pixie, a true Flotsm ‘N Jetsm collabouration, or was that Laurel and Hardy affair? As they were definetly Hilarious, Hya! Were arguably my favourites! And that was before I ever thought I would adore Small dogs…

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2016/07/mad-molly-extremely-special-canine-to.html

 

As I’ve written here on No Fenders before, Molly left us nearly five years ago, whom I recall meeting for the first time in earnest Wayback in 2008, ironically the very same year Pixie “rolled Out.” As Molly was Pixie’s Aunt, which perhaps is part of why they fought so much? As they didn’t become a “Package Deal” until some two years later, since ‘lil “Miss Innocent,” Pixie the runt of her litter was reportedly causing too much trouble with her original family…

 

As gory Hell! It’s amazing how fast a decade goes by, or just the past five years since Pixie lost her best companion, having never been alone before Molly’s death, which was obviously a big readjustment period for her. Thus I won’t even attempt chronicling that time period, especially since I Don’t Bloody remember All of it!

 

Fast forwarding to October, 2019, Pixie came to Florence to live with Jeannie & Jonathan, and I was not only fortunate enough to get to “See” Pixie weekly. But also was granted “Visiting rights” as one of her many “Surrogate” parents! And I quickly adopted a ritual of saying Hello to her and Goodbye to her everytime I got into their vehicle, which I’ve nicknamed the Scooby Doo’ Van.

 

But unfortunately Pixie I suppose began showing her age in Dog Years, as Mary Ellen was the first to notice her Cataracts a year ago, and I think Jeannie took to calling her Boom-Boom? But this was just solely in recognizing her vision loss, which I naturally understand myself, since Y’all know I’m Freakin’ blind, righto?

 

As Pixie, who truly was a Wonderdog, Wuf Wuf! Gave us quite the scare this February, albeit she’d taken to not eating previously, most notably after Molly’s death.

 

But Pixie went four days without wanting to eat anything, no matter what Jeannie tried to feed her, so we whisked her off to the Veterinarian in “Nearby” Venita, which I scribbled about here on No Fenders in the following tome.

 

Although I’m somewhat leary to cut ‘N paste it into this riveting story, since when I did so for the Mad Molly tribute link above, my Freakin’ Zoomtext Fusion 2021 Screen Reader software decided to turn Off the Keyboard Echo without my “Asking” It to do so, But I Digress, so here goes!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2021/02/will-craziness-cease-in-2021.html

 

And now I cannot somehow but think about Romain Grosjean and his Outlook upon life after his Horrific, Fiery Shunt in Bahrain, which Y’all know about. And how the likeable Frenchman said something about how He’s just living everyday like it’s a gift after that Horrific experience!

 

Which I know it doesn’t compare at All, but it’s Funny Ha Ha?

 

Since Pixie seemed to have made a total 100% recovery after going to the Vet and seemed Happy and fairly Healthy, other than she had been having these Ginormous Sneezing Attacks ever since moving to Oregon, which I’m told is the Allergy Capital of the Nation, Yikes!

 

And when she sneezed, her whole head shook and then you’d ear her face repeatedly hitting the carpet since she was so low to the ground, Aye Karumba!

 

As I always enjoyed joking about Pixie needing to have some Rain tyres installed in order to lift her up another inch Off the Ground, since she was such a “Low Rider,” Hya!

 

And we’ll never know what truly happened, although apparently she had some sort of seizure?

 

Salute Pixie the Wonderdog, Wuf Wuf! As obviously “We’ll” Miss you… 

Wednesday, June 9, 2021

F1: ESPNews Throws Us another Changeup

Holy Curve Balls Batman! And I Didn’t even get to the Batter’s Box…

 

Longtime readers of No Fenders will know that I’ve long since given up getting up at OH DARK 30 to “Watch,” Err listen to live Formula 1 races. Since being Blind, I’ve never bothered with investing in a DVR since I cannot See it’s required miniscule Colour Coded settings, but I digress…

 

Originally I was reluctantly planning on attempting to stay away thru the entire 8:30-11PM Pacific “encore” presentation on le Duesh’, aka ESPN2. But Hunting ‘N Pecking round Sunday morning on my Zap2It’ TV Guide listings, I stumbled into a much more palatable 4-6:30PM Pacific Formula 1 Racing listing for the day’s Azerbaijan Grand Prix instead.

 

And I thought le Duesh’ was really BAD, But! ESPNews sank to an All-time new Low! As I knew something was up with the Broadcast simply by beginning with a very Hurky Jerky immediate “Lights Out” No Pre-race banter or Pre-grid Warm-up lap, instead just G-O! Which always implies the race is gonna be extended…

 

So imagine my Surprise, Shock and ultimately Disgust when following the Red Flag on lap 48 of 51 due to Max Verstappen’s Mega’ left Rear tyre Blowout at 200mph! Whilst most definitely cruising home to his third F1 win of the season with his Wingman Sergio Perez in tow for Red Bull’s first 1-2 finish since 2016!

 

That instead of us getting to See the race’s final two laps, some perky woman named Charlie interrupted us near the top of the hour, as my Talking Keychain Clock said it was only 5:59PM. Meaning there should have been another Half Hour’s coverage, along with the Mothers Shoe Polish lady interrupting us for one more obligatory Commercial Break!

 

 

But instead Charlie said something to the effect of we know you’ve been enjoying some Formula 1, but now let’s go to some Women’s College Baseball instead, Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot!

 

As this Arkansas vs. Whoever game wasn’t even listed on my TV Guide, which claimed instead that following the 2.5 hours of Formula 1, from 6:30-8PM was supposedly an E60 The Extended version of Project 11, Alex Smith’s Remarkable NFL Comeback from Life Threatening injury programme instead!

 

As it’s Funny Ha-Ha, Not! How the Mainstream Media’s touting the “Fact” that Formula One’s interest is on the rise in good ‘Ol Americre’ due to the popularity of NetFlix F1 series. But Uhm, if you Don’t even get to See the Podium interviews, but more importantly the Wild Final 2-laps of the race, then how can you be building interest? Oh Never Mind! 

Monday, June 7, 2021

INDY 500: Lingering, Weigh-laid 2020 Post Race Thoughts

As it's certainly Not A New Track Record for finally being able to post this here on No Fenders, Thanks Blooger!

 

Author’s Note

This is the second part of last year’s Indianapolis 500 tome that never got “Published” due to the aforementioned Hijinx of Blogger’com’s Bastardized redesign…

 

It was Funny how much the Hours waiting until this year's 104th running of the Indianapolis 500 finally commenced was for Mwah, remember that Y'all? Feeling like Grains 'O Sand Slowly Slipping down thou Hourglass inexorably S-L-O-W, one infinite grain at a time…

 

First it was 48hrs to G-O! After Gorging Thyself upon the entire Carb Day practice, the Dale Junior' Download with Thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown', aka James Hinchcliffe episode and then sitting thru another Encore Presentation of the 2019 Indianapolis 500 on NBC Sports - All Day long, Aye Karumba!

 

Then it was a somewhat agonizing 24hrs whilst Ah-Waitin' thru Saturday, albeit I sat 'N listened to a Uber Hilarious Uncle Bobby roast Hosted by 'Ol r', aka Robin Miller on Racer.com Saturday Nite', since I think 'Ol Uncle Bobby's a fan of Sir Elton's Saturday Nites' Alright for Fightin', Righto?

 

As this was the 2018 Roast of Uncle bobby held at the legendous’ Stutz building in Indianapolis, and featured El Capitano’, nee Roger Penske,”Rocket Rick” Mears, Parnelli Jones, Lonestar JR’, (Johnny Rutherford) with ‘lil Al (Al Unser, Jr.) and Johnny Unser taking part later, that’s not included on the video.

 

 

 

As thinking I’ll make “Watching,” Err listening to this Hilarious video part of my Indy Night before the 500 ritual

 

https://racer.com/2020/08/22/retro-the-roast-of-bobby-unser/

 

And then just killing some more time by watching the last hour-plus Replay of the IMSA Weathertech SportsCar Championship Saloons' race from Virginia International Raceway (VIR) Sunday morning, where 'Ol Bimmer Billy', aka Bill Auberlen made History by winning the GTD (Daytona) Class for his 61st victory. Breaking his tie wit Scotty Scooter' Pruett for most major IMSA career wins of 60 apiece! Which I thought it was classy on Auberlen's part to do a Scott Pruett Hi to My Family First moment in his winner's podium speech…

 

Then just Ah-Waitin' until 'bout 10mins after Eleven AM Pacific, until enough of the television Pre-amble with Queen Dan-Dan-Danicker' and Mike "Sunday Night Football" Tirico had passed! And I could switch onto Big NBC, which really does stand for Nothing But commercials! Justin-time' to catch Back Home Again in Indiana being sung by Crooner' Jim Cornelison, whoose rendition of this time honoured classic I quite enjoy!

 

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

While I've previously mentioned that I'd been very Happy if Marco won, I totally wasn't expecting that to happen, whilst also already having eluded to the fact that my Pre-race choice for this year's winner was Alexander Rossi

 

And thus even though Vegas was favouring Dixon, I wanted Rossi to claim his second Indy 500 Borg Warner trophy. Hence imagine how chagrined I was to hear Danica Patrick say Rossi's my Guy, as He just seems like He's got unfinished Business, Hmm? where did I hear those words before?

 

As Yikes! That was part of her answer when Mike Tirico asked Danica to make a few comments 'bout some of the Drivers on the first three Rows.

 

To which she also replied, Takuma Sato's motto is No Attack, No chance, need I say anymore? As Taku-san was making his career best start from P3.

 

On Rinus VeeKay, the youngest driver in the field at 19, She said Ignorance is Bliss, as he's only been racing for 11-years.

 

And may be it was just Mwah? But I found myself overly Amped Up at the beginning of the race, since everybody seemed to be driving so G-Damn aggressively! Like Dudes, you Can't win it On the First lap! Like wasn't that 'Ol Rocket Rick Mears motto?

 

With All of thou Craziness occurring just before James Davison had the most Bizarre accident, when his front Brake Caliber instantaneously Exploded after his wheel apparently Failed, before catching on Fire!

 

And Queue the Benny Hill Theme music for FAST EDDIE' and Company! As Pick your Poison of which was worst? As I'm really, really tempted to finely Hone some witty repartee 'bout Ed Carpenter and his sponsor the U.S. Space Force.

 

Like shouldn't he have been able to see Zach Veach's racecar from Far Above and avoid it? Nah, No little Green Men from You Know Where Jokes Here, Hya!

 

Or Conor Daly doin' his best Tom Cruise Days 'O blunder', Err Top gun impersonation of riding his Chuck Yeager inspired No. 47 "Glamours Glennis" USAF sponsored Dallara-Chevy into the wall after calling Smoke On! Or Rookie Rinus VeeKay's unwanted Hitting of a Crew-member during a Pit-stop, which obviously ruined his entire race after being given a penalty.

 

The Andretti Curse…

For All of the Non-stop mentioning of Ye Dreaded Andretti Curse at Mother Speedway, for which I believe I heard the staggering statistic how the Andretti's were 1-for-74 in Wins vs. Starts before this year's race, Aye Karumba! Which obviously now is 1-for-75.

 

Yet for Mwah, it appears more that Alexander Rossi has the Andretti Curse squarely upon his Shoulders instead this year, and his Indianapolis 500 race did nothing to cure it. As I Don't like All the Blame the extremely Overworked and Underpaid Crew-members have been getting this season. As they're under enormous pressure to perform this year in overly Adverse conditions, i.e.; Travel, Heat, Fatigue, Super long Hours and uncomfortable Work Clothes, including wearing Masks for 12-hour Shifts!

 

And I just felt like it was gonna be one of those days after Rossi's first Botched Pit-stop when his team Didn't call him in on-time, due to some sort of (Radio) miscommunication…

 

Yet that said, there was some sort of slight delay in dispatching Rossi on the Pit-stop in Questione, where he grazed Takuma Sato on Pitlane driving back onto the track.

 

As this seems the most likely cause of the whole minor collision, for which All I can say is that at least IndyCar was Consistent in its Penalty Punishment for an "Unsafe" release. Since I Don't recall who the Booth Boys noted having been given the exact same penalty in a prior race…

 

And it's funny that Thee Mayor 'O Hinchtown', aka James Hinchcliffe was the top finisher of Mikey A's' Six, or is it Seven Car Armada? If we include Meyer Shank Racing (MSR) due to Thar Technical Alliance with Andretti Autosport, But I Digress…

 

As Hinch' finished seventh in a veritable four-car Andretti Freight train. With Colton Herta eighth, MSR's Jack Harvey P9 and Ryan Hunter-Reay 10th.

 

Marco Andretti quietly soldiered home P13, with Zach Veach 15th and  Rossi's Dejected finishing position matching his car number, YOUCH!

 

The Red's are Ah-Comin'

Many Fans, myself included thought the race was shaping up to be a Mano e Mano Duel between Scott Dixon and Alexander Rossi, which we know didn't happen, since Rossi was sent to the back of the line following his Pit-stop infraction with Takuma Sato. And then Ye proverbial Red Mist took over Joe Cool', Err Rossi, who ultimately clouted the wall on Lap-143 when trying to desperately march his way back to the front of the procession.

 

Yet it was Taku-san', nee Takuma Sato who ultimately Stole the Show! Although I didn't initially catch the lap number 158 when he initially passed Dixon for the race's lead for the first time before a final round of Pit-stops.

 

But I felt somewhat better hearing Ye Elder Statesman 'O IndyCar bloggers Geo. Phillips, Hya! Of Oilpressure Fame subsequently Note how Sato passed Dixon for the lead once again during another of thou litany 'O Commercials - which he spotted whilst watching the Side-by-Side action I cannot See…

 

As I believe George noted this was with 26-laps remaining? Since All I recall is that I began Chanting Taku-Taku-Taku' with four sets 'o fingers crossed with twenty laps remaining!

 

As I've lamented previously here on No Fenders, it's not that I'm not a Fan of Scott Dixon's racing Brilliance, especially since it's simply Amazing to think he'll soon rank second Overall in virtually every Career IndyCar category, trailing only 'Ol SuperTex', nee A.j. Foyt, CRIKEYS MATES!

 

It's just that I tire quite easily of Team Penske winning every Freakin' year! Or the Big-3 in general, i.e.; Penske, Ganassi and Andretti, excluding Rossi…

 

Since I really want Alexander to finally win his first IndyCar Championship! Not to mention I feel like he's far more poised to join the prestigious group of Four-times Indy 500 winners than HULIO' is.

 

Since if I'm doing this correctly, then Sato's victory became only the fourth Non Big-3 winner in the past 20 years!

 

Ironically beginning with Buddy Rice's win for then just Rahal letterman Racing in 2004. Followed by the upset victory by the late Dan Wheldon for Bryan Herta Autosport in 2011. Then TK' Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan's W for KV Racing Technology in 2013, and lastly Sato's second Indianapolis 500 victory this year.

 

Was it as good as last year's race at Mother Speedway? Probably not, albeit we'll never know if we'd have had a different winner if Spencer Pigot hadn't crashed. Although I Hugely Doubt Pigot wanted to crash! Even if he was in the third Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing Car…

 

While Sato surprisingly seemed to have the "legs" on Dixon, so who knows? As it was a very enjoyable race overall.

 

But Congrats to Takuma for putting himself out front when it mattered, and ultimately winning this year's Indy 500! For which I'll let Ye Others in thou Blogosphere do thoust Heavy lifting of recapping the entire field, and whatever other details I’ve missed in this elongated No Fenders prose, especially now since we’ve just completed the 105th running… 

Friday, June 4, 2021

Icebergs Near and Far

Although they’ve got Nothin’ to do with Ye titanic…

 

Ironically, without having any previous knowledge of what it was about. I just so happened to have finished “Reading,” Err listening to a very entertaining book titled Red Moon by Kim Stanley Robinson earlier this week.

 

The book’s loosely about China’s Colonization of the Moon, the remaining two “Super Powers,” the “G2’s” concurrent struggles to control their civilizations ongoing Demonstrations for Democracy and the hunting of an American citizen and Chinese Princess who are being constantly pursued.

 

And in China’s fight for who’ll become it’s new leader in 2047, there’s brief mentions of Tiananmen Square  and how the “Great Firewall” continues Blocking any reference to June 4th, 1989, which instead is called May 35th amongst other non June 4th references.

 

Meanwhile 32 years ago today, Phoenix, Arizona held the first of it’s ultimately three United States Grands Prix, known as the Iceberg Grand Prix, which just so happened to be your Humble Scribe Tomaso’s Debutante Formula 1 race outing. Which I’ll forever remember the irony of it’s title sponsor Iceberg while it was a Gory 104 degrees Fahrenheit on the streets of Downtown Phoenix, Aye Karumba!

 

http://www.nofenders.net/2019/06/retro-formula-1-on-phoenixs-streets.html

 

Since now whenever I think of the number 32, Kyle Kiser and Juncos Racing immediately spring to mind!

 

As I’ve scribbled here before many times, I had Zero clue what was happening in China that day whilst sweltering in the Heat!

 

But what strikes me as Odd, which the book mentions. Is that I never put together the facts that China’s disgusting Military Crackdown at Tiananmen Square occurred the same Bloody year as the Fall of the Berlin Wall. And that perhaps China was Over reacting to this peaceful Civilian Demonstration because they saw the crumbling of Communism in Berlin. Since after all, Good ‘Ol Ronnie got Gorbachev to “Tear Down that Wall” just some scant five-plus months later… 

Thursday, June 3, 2021

INDY 500: Latent Thoughts upon Last Year's Pre-Race Buildup

Geez, is He at It Again? And haven't we been Down this Road; Err, Uhm Round this Oval Before? Especially since four Lefts make Ah Circle, El Correctomundo?

 

Author’s Note

Another of Ye countless Yarns that got trapped in Ye proverbial No Fenders Worm Hole Vortex’, when encountering the Gravitational Pull of Blooger’s El Fantastico’ 2020 Blogsite redesign, SPEW! Along with your Hapless Scribe Tomaso trying to migrate from his Trusty ‘Ol Windows 7 Confuzer to the Daunting World of winDOUGHS  10 during the COVID 19 Pandemic, Sigh!

 

Hence this was intended to be Part One of my Mythical Triple Crown 3 part tome, which Smarmy ‘Ol Fredrico Suave’, aka Fernando Alonso’s No longer Chasing currently, and I need a Gory Break Away from this Darn-founded Confuzer’ that I’ve been Staring at way too Mucho lately after poondin’ out a plethora ‘O Indy 500 stories!

Tomaso

 

2020 Indianapolis 500

Yeah, as I’ve already alluded to . I know this riveting No Fenders rant is way behind, at least One Lap Down, which is an IndyCar website that's been Dormant way too Freakin' long! C'mon Jeffie', We’d really Appreciate it if you would resume writing your wonderful Brain Dump thoughts after each IndyCar race, But I digress…

 

Outside by One, Outside, Still Outside!

 

Alas, I should have been joining the IndyCar Blogosphere Heard in recounting How Fantastic it was to have Marco Andretti win the Pole for this year's 104th running of thou Indy 500, for which it Pains Me to Admit I was Rootin' for an Andretti, Yikes! Since I grew-up in Ye Days of Unser's vs. Andretti's, nee 'lil Al vs. Mikey A’ and was an Al Unser Jr. Fan during those Good 'Ol Portland Championship auto Racing Teams (CART) Dazes', Before ‘lil Al had Smoked one too many Marlboros 'N scampered over to thou Dark Side, nee IRL!

 

Whilst we've Definitely Heard the term Heard Mentality Bantered 'bout quite a Bitamyte' the past few months in regards to the Dreaded Corona Virus COVID 19 Pandemic, for which I'm only Happy that el Capitano', nee Roger Penske and Company made the practical 'N wise decision to ensure Fans Safety this year - while we All should be grateful that the race wasn't Cancelled outright! (Or was Roger’s Hands simply Tied by the Mayor of Indianapolis instead?)

 

alas, per Tipicali here upon Ye Isle 'O Nofendersville, where I lead a One Man Band, I'll march to my usual Out of Tune melody; Err noises and leave the Hard Hitting Analytical Indianapolis 500 race Recaps to the rest of Ye Intrawoods', aka IndyCar Blogosphere, nee Internetz' Scrutineering Brigade instead.

 

Especially since it's presumably in our collective Rear View Mirrors now, and I had Zero Clue when I'd be able to resume Blogging again, albeit hopefully before the Harvest Grand Prix; Chirp-chirp, Bueller? Yet somehow I Doubt that would happen, since trying to upgrade to winDOUGHS 10 has been such a Gory Nightmare!

 

Following NBC's Gold Bricks Walkway…

As Seriously NBC/NBC Sports? You cannot find two Freakin' Hours of TB Broadcast time to show a Wee Bitamyte More 'O Indy Cars? i.e.; the opening two hours of Qualie', which would have been the relatively unencumbered time slot of 8-10AM Pacific!

 

As Y'all should be Mightily Embarrassed over your Pathetic Opening Day's Qualifying TV Coverage!

 

Seriously? You only show the final two hours of Day One's Qualie' coverage? Giving the Casual Viewer NO Freakin' idea of who's in the vaunted Top Nine Shootout for Ye riveting Fast Nine Qualie shootout Sunday?

 

As the TV Show began with Conor Daly running another qualifying attempt with Zero Explanation of who were in the Top-9 leading into the TV Broadcast's beginning! And it weren't until Thar was a paltry 15mins left in Ye Pathetic 2hrs TV Show before when we sorta got a Hint at who the Top-9 were verbally!

 

Although Thar was Nothing to emphatically tell us the exact Top-9 running order, just having to put together that Indy  500 Rookies Rinus VeeKay was the lone Chevy runner in the Top-9 and that Alex palou was in P7!

 

Not to mention having to Deduce that Ye Mayor 'O Hinchtown, aka James Hinchcliffe was actually P4, after replaying his early  Day's Qualie' run when he was then third Overall before Andretti Autosport team-mate Alexander Rossi Bumped him down to fourth…

 

As C'mon NBC, you can do way Better than this!

 

Whilst I'll try not lamenting too much hearing Thee Screechy Oh No Mr. Bill Uber Annoying tones 'O Kevin Lee for the very first time this year during Saturday's Lame Arse TV's Qualifying coverage!

 

As Kevin's a Decent Pitlane Reporter, but Definitely lacks the "Chops" for being a good lead Announcer! As I 'prefer Kevin  doing NBC Sports IMSA Weathertech SportsCar Championship coverage and Professor B', aka Jon Beekhuis doing IndyCar's instead,  

 

Especially since I totally prefer listening to IMSA.com's Radio Broadcast with Der Heindenmeier', nee John Hindhaugh at the Controls instead vs. NBC sport's television coverage, But I Digress further…

 

As I find it pretty G-Damn Sad that it wasn't until an Hour and 45mins of the ridiculously Small 2hr TV Window when we were actually informed of who the Day's Top-9 Indy 500 runners were, as Shame On You NBC!

 

Hey, if Ye Elder Statesmen of IndyCar Blogs can ceasessly Pontificate how GURR-REAT! NBC's Gold Bricks Pay Wall Pass is with his nonstop Infomercials. Then I can Gory Well Spout Off how Horrific they are, Righto?

 

Tastes Great, Less Filling…

As Riddle Me this? How does somebody who's Blind easily access NBC Sports Gold? And is it Screen Reader Friendly? And do Y'all feel like Throwing Away 50 Smackerroos' ($50) to play Russian Roulette? Especially if it works as Gory Damn Well as everythingy' else on ye Intrawoods does with my Screen Reader, Nyet! Oh Never Mind!

 

But seriously? NBC Sports managed to Air the final 2.5hrs of Sunday's practice, along with airing another 2.5hrs for Friday's Carb Day practice but couldn't bother to Air two hours of Saturday morning's initial Qualifying Runs? Especially when IndyCar needs every Bloody Stinkin' Eyeball it can muster right now!

 

Since if Y'all cannot tell, I'm really Freakin' Tired of what putting IndyCar behind a Pay-wall implies, like how Marginalized it's been made by Stick 'N Ball sports and how you'll Never Grow the Sport significantly that way, Oh Never Mind!

 

Marco Makes Everyone Happy!

As I said above, I was actually rooting for Marco Andretti to knock Scotty Thee Iceman' 2.0 Dixon Off the Pole Position Wayback on August 16th, 2020. For which he did by the narrowest of margins: 0.017-second after 10-miles and four laps!

 

As the Team Penske Garage's Celebration Spoke Volumes of just how popular Marco's Pole at Mother Speedway was! As even Dixon seemed genuinely pleased for Marco.

 

As it's very Cool that it comes 33-years after his Grand-pappy Mario scored the Andretti's last Pole at Indianapolis, when Marco was just two months old, CRIKEYS!

 

Not to mention I tend to recall 'Ol PT', aka Sugar Ray Tracy', aka Paul Tracy proclaiming Marco should think about becoming an Uber Driver a few seasons ago since he was Driving so Poorly, YOUCH!

 

And although my Numero Uno IndyCar Driver Pato O'Ward ended Carb Day in P1, the only driver with a lap of 225mph-plus, and his regular season team-mate Oliver Askew fifth, I didn't expect them to be Drinking Buttermilk in Victory Lane Sunday. Nor that Smarmy Spaniard Fredrico Suave, aka Fred Alonso.

 

As typical, the Speed Freaks had a Zany but Enjoyable, Entertaining Interview with SPAM's', nee Arrow McLaren SP's two Young Charges, Patricio "Pato" O'Ward and Oliver Askew. Learning they sometimes go by the nicknames Potato and Bread Stick, Hya! As I'll let you figure out who's who? Whilst Thars also a brief mention of their feelings towards Double F1 World Champion Fernando, who was somewhat the Third Wheel at Arrow McLaren SP.

 

Unfortunately since I'm getting old-ER', and didn't bother chronicling it immediately after hearing it on thy Telie', since i was just laughing Deliriously with a crooked smile on my Face!

 

I'm left Arse-suming now long afterwards that it was Friday Night when signing off from Iowa's Race-1 when Leigh Diffey casually mentioned that Pato O'Ward had proved He wasn't A Flash in The Pan! Which I'd scribbled that exact sentiment previously here on No Fenders following his maiden IndyCar Podium at Road America, where he'd come Oh, So tantalizingly Close to winning his maiden IndyCar victory. Just some 6 Miles short of taking the Chequered Flag, beaten by Chip Ganassi Racing’s Felix rosenqvist.

 

Whilst I'll admit this was just random speculation that I conjured up following the conclusion of Carb Day practice. when I came up with only eleven drivers who I thought had legitimate shots at winning the Indianapolis 500 August 23rd, which I deduced by team's alphabetically.

 

(4) Andretti Autosport: Marco Andretti, Alexander Rossi, Ryan Hunter-Reay and James Hinchcliffe; (1) Chip Ganassi Racing: Scott Dixon; (1) Ed Carpenter Racing: Ed Carpenter; (2) Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing: Graham Rahal & Takuma Sato, and (3) Team Penske: Josef Newgarden, Simon Pagenaud and Will Power.

 

Although I Didn't expect either to win this year, I suppose you should never count out TK' Follow-your-Schnoz! Kanaan, along with 'Ol Narly Pinball', nee Charlie Kimball being a Darkhourse, Eh? But an A.J. Foyt Enterprises car hasn't been in Victory Lane since 1999, Aye Karumba!

 

Whilst 'Ol R', aka Racer's Robin Miller sardonically points out in his latest chin-wag' with SuperTex', nee A.J. Foyt probably wouldn't recognize Kimball or know that his third driver, Rookie Dalton Kellett's a KuhNuck', Hya! While Kanaan's the last Non Big-3 Racing Team Driver to Win the Indy 500 in 2013 for KVRT. (KV Racing Technology)

 

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

While I'd be very Happy if Marco won, I wasn't expecting him to, as my guess over winner was torn between Scott Dixon or Alexander Rossi, as I was pulling for the latter, since he seemed to have some unfinished business from last year's Mano e Mano Duel with eventual winner Symone', nee Pageantry, aka Simon Pagenaud. And thus even though Vegas was favouring Dixon, if pressed to pick a winner before the Green Flag flew, I'd choose Rossi. Whilst No Fenders Offical' Photographer CARPETS' (Sagely) said what 'bout Takuma Sato? He's starting third…