Wednesday, June 9, 2021

F1: ESPNews Throws Us another Changeup

Holy Curve Balls Batman! And I Didn’t even get to the Batter’s Box…


Longtime readers of No Fenders will know that I’ve long since given up getting up at OH DARK 30 to “Watch,” Err listen to live Formula 1 races. Since being Blind, I’ve never bothered with investing in a DVR since I cannot See it’s required miniscule Colour Coded settings, but I digress…


Originally I was reluctantly planning on attempting to stay away thru the entire 8:30-11PM Pacific “encore” presentation on le Duesh’, aka ESPN2. But Hunting ‘N Pecking round Sunday morning on my Zap2It’ TV Guide listings, I stumbled into a much more palatable 4-6:30PM Pacific Formula 1 Racing listing for the day’s Azerbaijan Grand Prix instead.


And I thought le Duesh’ was really BAD, But! ESPNews sank to an All-time new Low! As I knew something was up with the Broadcast simply by beginning with a very Hurky Jerky immediate “Lights Out” No Pre-race banter or Pre-grid Warm-up lap, instead just G-O! Which always implies the race is gonna be extended…


So imagine my Surprise, Shock and ultimately Disgust when following the Red Flag on lap 48 of 51 due to Max Verstappen’s Mega’ left Rear tyre Blowout at 200mph! Whilst most definitely cruising home to his third F1 win of the season with his Wingman Sergio Perez in tow for Red Bull’s first 1-2 finish since 2016!


That instead of us getting to See the race’s final two laps, some perky woman named Charlie interrupted us near the top of the hour, as my Talking Keychain Clock said it was only 5:59PM. Meaning there should have been another Half Hour’s coverage, along with the Mothers Shoe Polish lady interrupting us for one more obligatory Commercial Break!



But instead Charlie said something to the effect of we know you’ve been enjoying some Formula 1, but now let’s go to some Women’s College Baseball instead, Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot!


As this Arkansas vs. Whoever game wasn’t even listed on my TV Guide, which claimed instead that following the 2.5 hours of Formula 1, from 6:30-8PM was supposedly an E60 The Extended version of Project 11, Alex Smith’s Remarkable NFL Comeback from Life Threatening injury programme instead!


As it’s Funny Ha-Ha, Not! How the Mainstream Media’s touting the “Fact” that Formula One’s interest is on the rise in good ‘Ol Americre’ due to the popularity of NetFlix F1 series. But Uhm, if you Don’t even get to See the Podium interviews, but more importantly the Wild Final 2-laps of the race, then how can you be building interest? Oh Never Mind!