Asta Luista Hispania...

Otay, not that we didn’t already know this, but, sadly another Minnowesqe Formula 1 team has apparently bit the dust, as I believe I read somewhere this was the 107^th failed team in F1? While various stories denote the demise of Hispania F1 Racing, also known as HRT, not to be ‘Cornfuzed with the ‘Aussie V8 Supercars HRT concern.

And apparently the shutdown has been not too kind to the multitude ‘O dedicated employees of the struggling Spanish F1 concern, along with reports that the owners have made it very hard for suppliers to recoup their monetary expenses owed by the team by having to go thru a Luxemburg Fund to try recouping their losses; as even one creditor Formtek has publicly denounced the team’s banking investment owners plans to only pay 30% of what they owe...

Alas, we’ll miss having a twelfth constructor on the grid next year, as I for one prefer having 24-cars on track, or hell even better yet 26! As this would apparently leave the door open for two new constructors to enter the F1 circus if so desired...

FIA’s 2013 Entry list confirms HRT shutdown

HRT confirms Karthikeyan, leaving Barrichello without any F1 seats now...

On the heels of Rubens Barrichello successful and enjoyable two-plus day test with KV Racing Technology at Sebring aboard its new Dallara-Chevrolet IndyCar, alongside his good friend, “brother” and fellow countryman ‘TK “follow-your-Schnoz” Kanaan; the ageless ‘Rubino’s debutant outing in such machinery - comes word that Hispania F1 has confirmed Narain Karthikeyan, dubiously dubbed thee ‘Speediest Indian by Dr. Colin Kolles; NOT our bee ‘Luv-ed No. 90 Seahawks player Colin Cole; Hya! Which see’s Karthikeyan taking HRT F1’s second seat, also the final open race seat for the 2012 Formula 1 season - which means it appears the doors have firmly closed upon Barrichello’s Grand Prix career.

Thus, with this announcement, I for ‘Juan certainly hope that ‘Rubino will indeed decide to come stateside and take up residency aboard the No. 5 KVRT IndyCar mount!

And with Narain’s signing, apparently the Spanish team will pay off Vitantonio Liuzzi, who is reportedly under contract for 2012, who I guess is now looking for either a Reserve Driver role, although I still think he’d be a good fit at Caterham, or perhaps rejoining his ex-boss in Sports Cars?

Meanwhile, the esteemed Dentist; Err, Dr. Colin Kolles has turned his attentions to Sports Car racing with his new venture Kolles’s Kodewa just having been named the Lotus “Works” LMP2 effort for 2012 and will campaign a Lola coupe with “Lotus-by-Judd” power in the now overly used black & gold livery… Hmm? Perhaps ‘Tonio ‘N Jerome d'Ambrosio could be its pilots when not busy flogging virtual miles in simulators, eh?

Barrichello Digging Indy Car Seat-time

Listened to Trackside last night and probably enjoyed the interview with ‘TK “Follow-your-Schnoz” Kanaan the most, as Curt Cavin asked him ‘bout some other Brazilian, his brother... Oh, you mean the old F1 guy ‘Rubino, right? Hya! As Cavin tried finding out who was the fastest of the Brazilians? Whale I’m not gonna tell you except for there were three Brazilians there; the Dancing Guy, (FOOL) the OLD F1 Guy and me with the really B-I-G Nose...

TK then touched on how they’re really close friends and how they’ve worked out the prospects of racing against each other and whether it’d have any effects upon that?

Look, we’re both practical jokers - you know I’m the B-I-G Star on the team, have the biggest locker, etc. Yet I showed up for Day-1 of the test Monday morning and Barrichello’s name was taped onto my locker with all of his gear inside it!

While the age old adage ‘bout how IndyCarz a whole different animal was once again noted, with ‘Rubino being pleasantly surprised when he and TK were having dinner and first Will Power dropped by, then ‘HULIO and on ‘N on as soon there were six rival drivers hanging out together... Or how Kanaan pulled up and parked his car in front of the Penske hauler and they joked about him moving it as the Floridian sunshine beaming off of the polished chrome transporter would probably bake the finish right off of his shiny black automobile!

As the Indy Car world seems to be a little less intense then thee Pinnacle ‘O Motorsports, nee Formula 1 - where the first objective is to OBLITERATE your teammate by taking NO prisoners...

Thus it was interesting to hear Tony say that ‘Rubino was having so much FUN driving the new Dallara DW12 that he’d be staying on for a third day of testing, albeit they didn’t know if it was gonna be just a half-day or what?

Cavin asked how the deal came about and TK responded that he’d originally asked Rubens to come over and test the car to help out the team due to his vast knowledge of developing F1 racecars for 19-years, to which Barrichello originally said he couldn’t do since he was still a Formula 1 driver. Then when it was announced that Bruno Senna was taking his Williams F1 seat Kanaan took a picture of his new Dallara and tweeted ‘Rubino saying the seats still open...

Kanaan also commented that whilst its totally in Barrichello’s hands - he’s most likely not going to have a role in Formula 1 since he doesn’t want to work that hard chasing sponsorship for the HRT F1 seat, the sole remaining drive in Formula One. Noting how Rubens doesn’t want to work that hard to end up where the Hispania will be on the grid this year...

And Brant James of Sports Illustrated who got bumped by Kanaan phoning in from Sebring noted how he’d specifically asked Rubens about his claim of promising his wife to never run Ovals - with the Brazilian saying it’d been worked out... And hey, anyway’s they don’t have all that many Ovals this years anyways, right? Hya!

As I for ‘Juan think it’d be absolutely GURR-RRRRRRR-REAT!!! To have ‘Rubino as part of the Indy Car fold this upcoming season...

The Tomaso Files: Jolly Green Sea Turtles...

The Hawaiian Green Sea Turtle, or Honu, is listed as an Endangered Species - and thus should NOT be touched...

So it’s been awhile since I’ve scribbled any Fuzzy Wuzzy, Err isn’t that FAST EDDIES new primary sponsor? Or Furry, LUV-able critter stories... Of which No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS is an H-U-G-E Fan of; Hoohah! Hur-hur-hur...

Thus, with your Humble Scribe having just returned from ‘Juan of the most enjoyable 17-day’s Holiday on the B-I-G island of Hawaii... Having had to frolic ‘round in the surf nearly everyday amongst the throngs ‘O swimmers, boogie-boarders, snorkeler’s, etc - which I’m feeling a Snorkel Bob story coming on over his MoFlo II ‘Mega snorkel... It was extremely rough sleddin’ having to swim with the multiple green Sea Turtles who enjoyed buzzing the crowds at White Sands beach on a daily routine! As I even had ‘Juan of these larger creatures swim directly towards Mwah before suddenly being tapped on my thigh three times in rapid succession by its flipper! Hey Dude, you’re supposed to pet me...

Thus having just returned to the infinitely cooler climes of the Pacific Northwest on Turkey Lurkey evening - where the High temperature was nearly 40-degrees COLDER; SHEISA!!! As the Shuttle service had even turned on its heated benches and the pleasant female “Desk Jockey” even inquired if I wanted a “blankey” for my legs...

Thus, having not looked at ANY motor racing websites in two and-a-half weeks; obviously I’m completely outta duh loop of Der ‘Vurld de Motorsporten Ja-Ja! Although I was pleasantly surprised to see that this past weekend’s Brazilian GP was at a most enjoyable 8AM Pacific Time; which CARPETS has informed me is three hours behind Indy/New York/Eastern Time... While Seattle’s only 2hrs behind Hawaiian time currently; but I digress...

I only heard the barest of news ‘bout the Austin F1 Quagmire on November 20^th when Ricky G told me the news upon his arrival in Kona... Of which I’ve now read the majority of blog reports on the Mesopotamia occurring at COTA over the dispute of who’s on first, who’s paying the bills and Uncle Bernaughty as always simply sayin’: SHOW ME THE MONEY! (Mrs. Combs) As Bernie was his ever ‘Cheeky self when asked upon the Brazilian GP grid over the Austin situation, quipping to SPEED’s “Willy Buxom” that Austin needs two things: “A pen and money!”

Now having read back to November 18^th, I’d haveda say the most surprising Formula 1 news I’ve read is Pedro de la Rosa’s hiring at Hispania F1 next year, as the 40yr old Spaniard will take a page outta DER TERMINATOR’s playbook next year. As Pedro has done a dealio for two years to race for HRT and thus with Michael Schumacher apparently set to fulfill his three year contract with Mercedes GP - thus we’ll have two 40 ‘Somme-thungs on the grid next season; CRIKEYS! As NO disrespect to Pedro, but I fail to see the logic in this... As it seems he had a less than stellar outing for Sauber this season as Sergio Perez’s substitute, eh? (So perhaps? He’s bringing a large cheque to the equation?)

Thus ‘bout the only three motorsports related things I caught whilst on the B-I-G island were thinking ‘bout Tony Renna and Sergio Scaletti’s death - along with obviously the Flying Hawaiian, aka Danny Ongais, which led me to a very brief discussion upon notable Hawaiian athletes... leading me to the name of Eddie Aikau - who I’ve obviously never heard of... While my Pops also threw out Duke “Kuhmaya-maya” Kahanamoku as a ‘Mega Surfer Dude too... Who apparently has the longest name on the island: Duke Paoa Kahinu Mokoe Hulikohola Kahanamoku, which I gleamed from WICKEDpedia...

Eddie Aikau was an interesting Dude, becoming Hawaii’s very first-ever hired Lifeguard who never lost a single life during his tenure before sadly being lost at sea when paddling his surfboard to get help for his stricken shipmates, having reputedly ditched his life jacket which hindered his paddling and sadly was lost at sea in 1978 at the tender age of 31...

And before I left, I wandered into ‘Juan ‘O SPEED’s countless 1hr Barrett-Jackson specials, this one focusing upon the Clive Cussler Car Collection in Colorado... As it had been years since I’d read any of Messer Cussler’s epic action-suspense “Mystery” novels... Thus heading to the library, I decided to see if any Cussler Books-on-Tape (CD) were available? And was happy to snag two current novels to listen to during the brief lulls between incoming waves on the beach; Hmm? Now the only thingy missing is some of those adult beverages with tiny umbrellas in the glasses, right? CRIKEYS MATES! What’s ‘Dat Tagline ‘bout it doesn’t get any better than this; Oh Never Mind!

As the fictional Dirk Pitt of NUMA in Mr. Cussler’s numerous novels owns a bevy of antique Automobiles which are always featured frequently in his books, not to mention the 1929 Ford Tri-motor Aeroplane that Pitt uses to fly underneath the Brooklyn Bridge before flying at a precariously low level along Downtown streets whilst trying to evade being shot down by a renegade World War I German Tri-wing Fokker doing its best Red Barron impersonation! As you get the idea...

Thus it seemed a tad bit Karmic that the first of these two novels I read included the ultimate discovery of Kublah Khan’s burial chamber found via a massive underwater lava tube passage to a long hidden cavern on the Southwest end of the B-I-G island of Hawaii whilst your humble scribe withered away in the chaise lounge chair poolside; Hmm? ‘Somme-thun to do with those funny ‘lil umbrella drinkies, eh?

And I’ve haveda say my most melancholy day was on Tony Renna’s birthday, my final full day in Kona, when we traveled north to the Waikoloa Hilton Resort for a leisurely ‘Walkabout... Where the Eddie Aikau Restaurant & Museum resides, which after a quick stop in the Crazy T-Shirts store where I picked up an awesome long sleeved Ski Hawaii T-Shirt for the upcoming FRIDGID Northwest winter fast approaching... Hey, it’s supposed to be 33deg-f here this week! We meandered over to the “House of Parrots” where I had NO idea that I’d soon be holding a Parrot on my arm before it liked me so much that it’s “Handler” asked if she could place it on my shoulder? And the bird totally got into the action as it began trying to pepper me with love-kisses and even said “WOW!” (Your breath really stinks Dude; Hya!)

Then we had a pleasurable lunch at the Hang 10 Bar and listened to the nearby Dolphins ceaselessly chattering while two family’s went swimming with them before taking a ride on one of the three remaining “Boats” that go around the entire complex on hidden tracks in a man-made channel. Then a drive back home thru a ‘Mega Monsoon tropical rainstorm before catching ‘Juan final glorious sunset whilst bobbing in the warm waters of the Pacific Ocean with the yellow-red orangish hues glistening a path a la the yellow brick road atop the mild waves shimmering all the way from Mwah to that small ball called the SUN! Before totally disappearing over the horizon; as we continued bobbing up ‘N down in the waves long past sunset...

Off to Tacoma for a few Dazes to regale countless tales ‘O high stakes adventure on the BIG Island of Hawaii, as I’ll try to rap my head ‘round Der ‘Vurld de Motorsporten beginning next week; Honest...

A Somewhat Soothing Bedtime lullaby ‘bout India’s forthcoming Inaugural Grand Prix...

First of all - as I’ve already noted, my head’s not quite into racing at the moment upon the utterly useless deaths of Dan Wheldon and Marco Simoncelli... Yet, I must admit I’m somewhat curious about how this weekend’s inaugural Indian Grand Prix will go off after many year’s of delays, infighting, corruption/graft(?) and now the overly tedious PR Speak Hypefest in order to prime the pumps and ultimately line Uncle Bernaughty’s Wallet!

Thus, it seemed overly obvious that both current Indian drivers holding the mandatory FIA Superlicense would take part in their country’s debutant Grand Prix - surely in order to increase the novice publics appetite towards spending their hard earned Rupee in order to attend history in the making...

As HRT F1 reserve driver Narain Karthikeyan, dubbed “The Speediest Indian” by Hispania Racing Team Boss Colin Kolles - NOT to be Cornfuzed with Seattle Seachickens B-I-G ‘Ol No. 90 Colin ‘‘CK Cole who just took part in the 6-3 Pillow fight loss to the lowly Cleveland Browns; but I digress... Will indeed be competing as F1 rookie Daniel Ricciardo’s substitute for the Minnowesqe Backmarker this Sunday... As hopefully the crowd won’t get too lathered-up and expect to see Narain outperform teammate ‘TONIO, aka Vitantonio Liuzzi...

Meanwhile Team Lotus 2.0 reserve driver Karun Chandhok certainly will be disappointed to have been relegated to his usual Friday morning FP1 driving duties - as initially it seemed a ‘Slam-dunk for “Cowboy’s” services at New Delhi after having replace the NOTSTO Truly Scrumptious (Jarno Trulli_ at Hockenheim after Trulli’s continuous ‘Wingeing ‘bout the Loti’s problematic Power Steering. Yet Jarno’s contract extension - along with his renewed optimism and monotonous praise towards the revamped power steering has now seen the Italian retain his race seat for the weekend... As Lotus wishes to confirm its grip upon the tenth-place F1 Constructors prize money.

Chandhok’s hopes of Indian GP race seat Dashed...

Over at Force India, now co-owner Vijay Mallya will be doing his bestest ‘Pied Piper impersonation, a la Flavour Flav? (Flavio Briatore...) Having slammed reports of his beloved Formula 1 team being up for sale - only to do a ‘Double-speak a mere 24hrs later when spinning off 42.5% of the Silverstone based squad to another Indian concern. As Mallya’s silver tongue has been displayed before when bamboozling both current Indian F1 hopefuls Karthikeyan and Chandhok by claiming they’re NOT WORTHY!

Karthikeyan & Chandhok SLAM Mallya!

Yet meanwhile, the ever vigilant Scotsman Paul di Resta is saying all of the “Right-thingy’s” in the crescendoing  build-up to this weekend’s Indian GP which Y’all can read in; Paul di Resta finds his voice for India's grand entrance into F1

While I myself look forward to F1 Grizzled ‘Journo turned Travel ‘Hack; Hya! Joe Saward’s Great India Adventures - whilst I hope Joe will not be inundated with what the great Paul Theroux wryly noted as ‘Backshiesh while lamenting his stay in India’s vastly OVERCROWDED main cities before seeking refuge in the  further away countryside comforts of rural India which Mr. Theroux thoroughly discusses in his epic novel;

Ghost Train to The Eastern Star

On the Tracks of The Great Railway Bazaar

By Paul Theroux (2008)

Which may be the best way to travel to ‘N fro the “budding?”Buddh International Circuit, eh? As apparently traffic’s a real BITCH!

Now I’d better go set the trusty ‘Ol VCR, eh? After another Sleepless Night in Seattle; Oh Never Mind!

UPDATE

Apparently ‘Deeter Majestik’s liquid Moohlah trumps the talents of former Red Bull prodigy Vitantonio Liuzzi - as heir apparent Daniel Ricciardo will be Narain Karthikeyan’s teammate this weekend at India instead of ‘TONIO...

Trulli sent packing – Just for the weekend...

In case Y’all haven’t heard, Karun “Cowboy” Chandhok has been inserted into Trulli Scrumptious’s (Jarno Trulli) Lotus F1 seat for the German GP weekend, as apparently Trulli’s continuous ‘wingeing on about the Loti’s recalcitrant power steering woes is the excuse being used to give ‘Cowboy a chance this weekend.

And nope, this ‘kuhBoy isn’t to be cornfuzed with somebody with the same handle stateside, as apparently that’s Juan ‘O Randy “the CandyMann” Bernard’s handles, eh? As thee Fastest Indian – certainly FASTER then the recently demoted Hispania Racing F1 driver Narain Karthikeyan; Chandhok got the ‘KuhBoy nickname from SPEED’s Bob Varsha during the furvour over the upcoming 2012 Austin F1 race announcement when it was divulged that Karun’s MaMa was from the Lone Star state...

Now obviously this weekend baptism-under-fire is certainly a pre-cursor to Chandhok’s inclusion at Team Lotus 2.0 for the forthcoming inaugural Indian Grand Prix; Uh Duh! Where I’d assume there’ll be two Indian’s upon the grid – with Karthikeyan substituting for Daniel Ricciardo at Hispania, which will certainly help the beating of the drums for the Indian GP’s promoters, etc. As Yuhs can read the glowing Lotus PressSpeak below...

Chandhok to race Trulli’s Lotus in Germany

NO word on whether or not Jarno will be spending a quiet weekend upon der Mosel River drown ding his sorrows in a bottle of his own vino, Ja Ja?

F1: Paddock Notes – May 3rd Edition

Don’t know if Y’all have heard the good news that The Krakow Kid, a.k.a. Robert Kubica has finally left Hospital in Italy after a 10-weeks stay, with reports claiming that the Santa Corona Hospital has already filed insurance claims for $100,000 for his 76-day stay.

Kubica flew home to Monte Carlo for a little R&R before he’ll begin his intensive Rehabilitation program back in Italy under the watchful eye of Dr. Riccardo Ceccarelli...

Doctor gives his view on chances of Kubica’s F1 Comeback

Hispania Gets Sponsor Jolt

So isn’t it funny how rumours abound ‘bout Hispania doing a $35m deal (for 3yrs – same length of new sponsor dealio...) with Uncle Bernaughty to help break-up FOTA and Shuhzamm – a new team sponsor is announced... Which is good news for the struggling Spanish concern, as Base Batteries, another Indian company has stepped up to the plate; Hmm? TaTa Motors and now Base both sided with Hispania over Force India; Tisk-tisk!

Base will become the Squad’s official battery supplier – which is somewhat ironic to Mwah since HRT currently isn’t running the ‘Uber Eco UN-friendly and environmentally consuming KERS system...

What Does ‘NIGE Think?

So most likely its just Mwah, especially since I’d assume BLOODY ‘NIGE’s Flip-flopping allegiances between the warring Loti factions is all based around Sterling pounds, eh? Did anybody pick-up on the fact that somebody named Scott Mansell (‘Il Lione’s son?) was on hand for the Team Lotus Enterprises Caterham Cars Shindig – as one of its cadre of Professional chauffeurs offering ‘Demo-rides to willing victims. As BOP’s Andy Darley has a pretty entertaining story ‘bout the whole Caterham affair...

Caterham: Scaring the Hell out of Tony Fernandes

Team Willie Gets A Technical Makeover

Although I suppose it shouldn’t be overly shocking news – especially with the poor showing to date by Team Willie, nee Williams F1 – it was announced today that Technical Director Sam Michael and Chief Aerodynamicist Jon Tomlinson have both “Stepped Down,” Err resigned from their respective positions – effective at the end of this year.

And the SHOCKER of the announcement is that disgraced ex-McLaren Chief Designer Mike Coughlan – a key figure in the McLaren ’07 SpyGate caper... Has been appointed as the team’s new Chief Engineer – which I personally think is a coup for the struggling Team Willie, as I’m certain the technical changes are a result of the radical Lowline driveshaft system that the FW33 utilizes.

Speculation also suggests that team co-founder Patrick Head will be departing sometime later this year – perhaps what his Golden Parachute, nee Williams Stock flotation was all ‘bout? Now all Team Willie needs to do is hire the services of a ‘Juan Mr. Nigel Stepney, eh?

Hispania continues F111 improvements

Just read that the other Colin Kolles, a.k.a. Dr. Colin Kolles and not Seahawks BADASS No. 90 Colin Coles - has arrived in KL (Kuala Lumpur) with several extra cardboard boxes as part of his luggage at the baggage carousel; Hmm? Wonder if he has to pay $25.00 per extra bag, Err L25 per extra kilo? But I digress...

As the extra baggage reportedly contains new noses for “The SPEEDIEST Indian” (Narain Karthikeyan) ‘N ‘Tonio... (Vitantonio Liuzzi) Uhm, I meant their relatively undeveloped Hispania F111 chassis which basically just showed up at Melbourne before not being capable of breaking the 107% qualifying time-barrier; as the new noses have finally passed the FIA’s mandatory crash tests.

Meanwhile, it has also been noted that the Minnowesqe team has secured the use of one of Mercedes GP’s spare Wind Tunnels in Brackley, UK, as the tunnel sits dormant due to the nefarious FIA Resource Restrictions rule and thus, hopefully Geoff Willis and his crew ‘O Merrymen will be able to tweak the new car into a bonified contender for the requisite Q1 ‘Qualie sessions – as I’m more intrigued upon tonio & Narain making the show then the actual winner of this weekend’s Malaysian GP – especially with the chance of Uncle Bernaughty getting his wish and seeing ‘Ol Mother Nature turn on her sprinkler system... 

GO ‘TONIO!





F1: Paddock Notes – March 12th Edition

Otay, just a very quick recap of some tidbits gleamed recently in the run-up to the fast approaching Australian GP...

Glock’s Tummy-ache getting better
In case you haven’t heard, The Glockster, nee Timo Glock has been sidelined for this week’s final F1 test session at Barcelona due to recently suffering from appendicitis and having his appendix removed in a routine operation on March 1. Therefore Timo’s absence has left all the driving to rookie Jerome d'Ambrosio. But the 28yr old German was on hand at Barcelona Thursday as a “JAFO;” Check out Blue Thunder if you’re missin’ your secret decoder ringy... It’s a certain type of Observer; Hya!

Glock was apparently moving very slowly, saying everybody’s (including Grandma’s...) beating me on the bike at home right now as I can only do light workouts, claiming even laughing is painful. Yet timo has returned home to have his stitches removed and is adamant he’ll be ready to go in Melbourne...

Tonio Bags Second Hispania Seat
With less than 3-weeks ‘til GO-time, Hispania finally confirmed Italian Vitantonio Liuzzi as the team’s second race driver, who’ll hopefully bring some much needed development skills to the Spanish outfit, especially since The Speediest Indian Narain Karthikeyan hasn’t race in Formula One for five years now...

De la Rosa In – Dennis Out
Not surprisingly, Pedro de la Rosa has returned to the McLaren fold, with the 40yr old Spaniard being named as an official test & reserve driver for the Woking based squad. Hmm? I’m sure it has something to do with Pedro’s recent stint as Pirelli’s rubber tester, eh? De la Rosa will be partnered by Gary Paffett, who’ll also contest this year’s DTM championship.

Meanwhile, apparently The Ronster, a.k.a Ron Dennis has been trying to emulate India’s Narain Karthikeyan, by going for the handle of The Speediest Brit? (Which I’m certain the McLaren Boyz would challenge...) As Messer Dennis seems to have also missed out upon the very same memo that his charge Lewis Hamilton failed to read last year, you know the one ‘bout Road Safety from Jean Todt and the FIA, right? As word comes that Ron has had his Driver’s license taken away from him for six months in England after being caught in his fourth traffic offense, allegedly for running a red light; OOPS!!

F1: 2011 Constructor - Hispania

(Hispania F111 – Source: f1fanatic.co.uk)

Team
Launch Date/Venue: March 11 - Barcelona
Name: Hispania Racing F1 Team
Base: Murcia, Spain
Former Team Name: Campos Meta 1
Constructors Titles: 0
Drivers Titles: 0
2010 Standings: 11th; 0-points
2010 Chassis: F110

Team Principal: Colin Kolles
Technical Director: Geoff Willis*
(* = Consultancy basis only)
Seasons: 2 (2010-Present)
Debut Race: 2010 Bahrain GP
Races: 19
Wins: 0
Poles: 0

Chassis
Model: HRT-F111
Engine: Cosworth CA 2010
Gearbox: Williams

NOTE:
Although this article is slightly dated –especially with The Speediest Indian’s monetary backing securing Hispania’s 2011 season, nevertheless it does provide some technical insights into the Team Willie Gearbox supply deal...

ANALYSIS: HRT\Williams transmission technology deal

Drivers
No. 22) Narain Karthikeyan; India
No. 23) Vitantonio Liuzzi; Italy
Test/Reserve Driver) TBA

Summary
And then there was ‘Juan Indian left... Sorry ‘bout that Folks, just couldn’t resist, especially with Dr. Colin Kolles constant barking on ‘bout having secured the services of “The Speediest Indian,” nee Narain Karthikeyan – which was a real shock to Mwah when it was divulged way back in the beginning of January.

And with less than 3-weeks remaining until Australia, it was finally made official that Vitantonio Liuzzi would be driving HRT’s second racecar and thus, the 2011 Grid was finally set – just a scant 3-days prior to the team’s 2011 challenger, the F111 breaking cover at Barcelona during the final test session.

The team’s first completely “Clean Sheet” design (the F111) was overseen by Technical Director Geoff Willis of Williams, BAR and Red Bull fame, albeit I believe he’s still working as a Consultant to the team...

And according to Adam Cooper, the F111 utilizes a 2010-spec Williams Gearbox, who are providing the chassis hindquarters. While HRT won’t be running KERS, a la its Newboyz competitors Team Lotus and Virgin; as both Hispania & Virgin will use a lower spec ‘Cossie lump vs. Williams KERS version... Interestingly, the chassis monocoque was built by composite specialist CarboTech of Austria – who’ve steadily been building up their F1 clientele.

Yet with all last minute launches, apparently the F111 didn’t run on its Friday debut due to a lack of parts and team has since revealed that the car won’t run in Spain due to some components including the dampers being denied release from Customs, as hopefully this isn’t an ominous sign of the F111’s impending season...

Hmm? Wouldn’t it be funny if ‘Tonio could end up challenging the Force India’s for championship points this season?

Hispania joins the Party - FINALLY!

Hispania F111: Pictures

HRT NOT worried ‘bout Karthikeyan's lack of pace...

NO – REALLY! They’ve Earned It...

(Colin Cole – Seattle Seahawks; Source: Seahawks.com)

So I’ve stayed away from all of the flummox over Team Willie’s BOLD announcement of Venezuela’s Pastor Maldonado earning his Williams F1 seat on merit and NOT because he comes with major Gold Tar moohlah, as in the form of PDVSA – his country’s National Oil concern...

But now Hispania team boss Collin Kolles; Hey – doesn’t he play for those SHOCKING Seattle Seahawks? Err, Dr. Collin Kolles, the other Colin’s Team BossSpeak has made me break out in laughter, after the Dentist proclaimed the following – in regards to his recent driver announcement.

Collin Kolles:
“It is a great pleasure for us to have signed Narain Karthikeyan as our race driver for the 2011 Formula 1 World Championship.”

NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!

Especially since Messer Karthikeyan comes with major backing, i.e.; Dinero, Err Rupee? From a major Indian corporation known as the TaTa Group; which I’m certain is allowing Dr. Kolles to rest a little easier at night knowing he’ll be able to continue his patrolling of Pitlane during the upcoming Grand Prix season instead of returning to the Dentist’s chair, eh? (Although every time now I hear the name Collin Kolles I immediately think of BIG ‘Ol No. 90 of the Seattle Seahawks; Hya!)

So let’s cut the BULLSHIT BOYZ! As I can hardly contain myself over whom the second PAID driver at Hispania will be? As I’d prefer Christian Klien – but suspect that “Sackoe-Moneyato” will get the drive instead?

As after all, paid racing drivers are a necessary evil of modern Motorsports – just ask Dale Coyne, eh? As many open Wheel fans have been calling for Milka’s scalp – or something... Although I’d expect Maldonado’s rookie season to go better then CITGO darling Milkalicious’s time in IndyCarz – which AIN’T saying much. Yet hopefully it won’t be as bad as TakuSan’s rookie season at Kv Racing Technology, eh?

Force India’s Driver Merry-go-Round

So apparently, although Vitantonio Liuzzi has a signed contract to continue as a race driver for Force India in 2011, which a copy resides in Geneva with the FIA Contract Arbitration Board; scuttlebutt continues to swirl that Force India would prefer to insert reigning DTM Champion Paul di Resta; cousin of somebody named Dario Franchitti into Liuzzi’s seat instead...

JYS: Di Resta deserves 2011 drive

The 24-year old Scot has taken part in Friday morning Free Practice sessions and comes with the caveat of being backed by Mercedes Benz, who currently power the Silverstone-based squad’s racecars. As reputedly di Resta’s inclusion as a race driver could lead to a discounting on Vijay Mallya’s ‘Merc engine bills? As scuttlebutt also claims that Mr. Mallya’s team has been not overly fast upon paying its creditors; not to mention a few legal battles it’s lost recently...

Then there’s The Incredible Hulk looking for employment after having been let-go by Team willie to make way for Pastor Maldonado. As Nico Hulkenberg has already decreed: I’M NOT DRIVIN’ NO STINKIN’ HRT! And could be set to take up the dubious task of Test & Reserve Driver for Force India – with the proviso of doing Friday morning outings a la di Resta in 2010... Could this simply be a tune-up for Nico’s manager Willi Weber’s previous charge’s seat? (Can you say Herr Schumacher...)

Although three F1 Constructors have yet to publicly announce their 2011 Driver line-ups: Force India, Hispania and Scuderia Toro Rosso; it’s expected that Toro Rosso will stand pat with its 2010 drivers, thus leaving Hispania as the only team yet to confirm its driver intentions for the upcoming season.

And this seems a tricky situation too – as I’d like to see Bruno Senna retain his drive; as I’m sure that Uncle Bernaughty would like to keep the Senna name in the Formula One spotlight. Yet I’m assuming Mr. E also wants to see Karun “Cowboy” Chandhok back in a race drive for 2011, especially with the upcoming inaugural Indian Grand Prix.

And although it would certainly be a downgrade for Tonio – driving for HRT, it seems to me it would be the best way to keep his name on the F1 roll call. As although I’d hazard a guess that Messer Fernandes still hopes to see his Homeboy “F-Squared” (Fairuz Fauzy) move up to the role of Grand Prix driver soon; perhaps if Liuzzi was willing to try-try, try-again? He’d make a great replacement for the knottsoe Trulli Scrumptious, eh? Or he could moonlight at HRT in preparations to become Rubino’s successor after his 20th season in F1?

And perhaps I’m wrong – having become a fan of tonio’s ever since I read ‘bout his Moon walking in Gold Boots escapade; not to mention he reminds me quite a bit of MAD MAX (NO! NOT Mosley - Massimiliano) Papis... As it doesn’t seem like Tonio’s ever gotten a legitimate chance in F1. I mean, just imagine if Tonio’s Gearbox hadn’t decided to go south whilst running a fabulous fourth at his home race in Monza, Italy, way back in 2009, upon his F1 return as “Fishy Fella’s” replacement - when the VJM-01’s were surprisingly fast in low downforce configuration...

Forza Tonio

Now comes word that India’s first Gran Primo Piloto, Narain Karthikeyan has usurped his countryman Karun Chandhok for a drive at HRT. With backing from none other than the TaTa Group – as in India’s TaTa Motors, Y’all know as in the current owners of Jaguar and Land Rover... Which means I guess ‘“Cowboy Chandhok may be looking for work elsewheres; Hmm? There’s always Narain’s PickemUp Truck seat, eh?

Oh what a feeling – as HRT and Toyota agree to disagree...

Although scuttlebutt has suggested this would happen... Its now official, as Toyota will cease any further collaborative efforts with Hispania Racing – specifically development of their stillborn TF110 chassis as a basis for next year’s Hispania F1 chassis. After being pointed out it would probably cost less for HRT to develop their own chassis vs. Toyota’s exorbitant fees, albeit the inherent performance gain over the ex-Dallara sleds currently being used.

Most likely ex-Williams designer Geoff willis, who I believe has been working as an Consultant to Hispania this season – will be pressed into service to come up with next year’s new chassis, as once again the FIA regulations change, with the likely return of KERS and the moveable rear wing.

Keep in mind that HRT has already done a deal with Team Willie for rear-end components, i.e.; Gearbox and Hydraulics... Although I don’t know if Willis left the Grove-team on speaking terms or not? As he’d most likely wish to use Williams second wind tunnel to improve the lowly Hispania racecar, eh?

Also, I found it entertaining that future Williams driver Pastor Maldonado – who ran a ‘Mega 108-laps on Day-1 of the Young Drivers Test ended up being some one-plus seconds faster then both of Hispania’s two racing drivers Christian Klien & Bruno Senna. Maldonado’s fastest lap of 1:43.750 compared favourably to Senna (1:45.085) and Klien’s (1:45.085) who qualified 23rd & 24th respectively.

Although its been divulged that many of the cones (Bollards) have been removed, allowing the Young Guns to shortcut several corners – not to mention that the track has most likely continued rubbering-in...

Hispania Racing Team news

By now I’m guessing Y’all have heard the news that Formula One Team HRT has signed a contract with “Team Willie” (AT&T Williams) for supply of their Gearboxes & Hydraulics beginning in 2011, as Hispania seeks to ditch its problematic XTrac units in favour of something more reliable. As the move will leave only Virgin as the sole XTrac Customer next season...

Meanwhile the never ending revolving door of “Paying” Drivers continues this weekend when Christian Klien once again replaces “Sackoe-Moneyato.” *Sakon Yamamoto) who this time isn’t suffering from a cooked up diagnosis of food poisoning... No word on whether or not the Japanese driver will be back at Abu Dhabi?

And speaking ‘O Moohlah, the Team seems to be keeping its options alive. As the long winded rumour of a deal with the deposed Toyota F1 Organization continues to be kept alive on ze internets, albeit there appears to be more then meets the retina, eh? As although it may be viewed as a step backwards for The Incredible Hulk, I’d be happy to see the young Nico Hulkenberg continue on in Formula 1 next season...

More on HRT and Toyota

I’ve also seen ‘Juan solitary report speculating that Bruno Senna may be tipped as a possible replacement for the “Scrumptious ‘Juan” *Jarno Trulli) next year behind the wheel of a Lotus Renault? Although there’s NO word on who’ll actually win the Team Lotus Moniker Sweepstakes, and the reumour comes from the fairly optimistic Brazilian Press... Whilst the younger Senna is chafing at the bit to participate in his inaugural Home Grand Prix at Sao Paolo.

Bruno Senna: “Interlagos will be quite emotional…”

Suzuka Memories

Sounding like a broken record; it’s hard to believe that your Humble Scribe was last at Suzuka Circuito six years ago... As all of the talk ‘bout the impending wet stuff, nee precipitation in the form of a massive 2-inches made me flash back to that most adventurous trek to Suzuka in the most appalling conditions! Which I laboriously scribbled ‘bout in: Suzuka, 2004.

After having driven all the way from Sasebo to Suzuka – with the rain’s intensity increasing the closer we got to the track. Hey! I CANNOT see anything ahead of me – our Driver proclaimed! We were shocked to be told by our Super Host Yasushi: “Suzuka; NO go! Qualifying CANCELLED due to Typhoon...” WTF? As little did I know I’d be on hand for History being made two years in a row, as the year prior DER TERMINATOR, a.k.a. Michael Schumacher would clinch his record breaking sixth World Championship there, albeit with somewhat of a dubious drive, Pinballing his way home to eighth place.

And it seems somewhat Karmic or Symbiotic that Bruno Senna’s maiden Formula 1 outing at the Japanese Grand Prix would be on the 20th Anniversary of his late Uncle’s (Ayrton) purposely spearing his Arch Nemesis “the Professor’s” (Alain Prost) Scuderia Ferrari emblazoned with the No. 1 in retaliation for the year’s prior incident when Prost collided with Senna at exactly the same locale in order to clinch his third World Championship; which Professor Matchett & ‘Hobbo both referred to as: The Prost-Senna chicane. Which I believe is actually denoted as the Casio Triangle...

Thus it was interesting to hear “Willie Buxom’s” testimonial of riding in a Two-seater with Bruno in Abu Dhabi over the Singapore – Suzuka break... (Talk ‘bout living a Charmed life, Eh!) As Messer Buxton explained how nauseating the ride was; with Senna wanting to demonstrate how VIOLENT a modern F1 car is, as the ‘Backmarkers all struggled to drive a Pig ‘O a Racecar whilst looking in their mirrors all race long! And their 2X Seater’s ‘Grunt was only equivalent of a modern day GP2 Asia chassis; CRIKEYS! (As Bruno was 6-seconds adrift of Vettel in Friday’s Practice 2...) So it would be nice if Mr. Buxton could scribble out his thoughts ‘bout this on The Buxton Blog...

Senna not worried about F1 pressure

Whale at least Bruno’s Part time teammate Sakon Yamamoto was back alongside him... Naturally “Just-in-Time” for the Japanese GP, as the SPEED Boyz – namely David Hobbs pointed out just how overly twitchy the Hispania chassis looked Ontrack as Sakon slithered about; Aye Karumba!

Whilst the most entertaining? Story of Friday’s SPEED commentary was about the Scuderia Toro Rosso Mechanic who was fired after the Singapore race for having simply mopped up Jaime Alguersuari’s water leak some 5hrs prior to the event... Before Alguersuari was forced to start from Pitlane at Singapore as the Mechanics thrashed to make repairs on said leaky radiator; OOPS!

And a la Singapore, the Red Bull Duo was once again Untouchable during the first two Practice sessions, with Master ‘Zebb leading Mark Webber, followed by “The Krakow Kid” (Robert Kubica) and “Fredrico Suave.” (Alonso) While ‘JAGUAR (Hamilton) walloped the wall in FP1, ripping off his Left front suspension and causing a ‘Mega rebuild of his chassis. Which allowed him only a scant 8.5min Ontrack in the Afternoon session... But as Bob Varsha pointed out: Who was fastest in Singapore before Qualifying and the Race? Yep, Yuhs guessed it... Seb Vettel, who seemingly got dusted off by Alonso; SHEISA!

2010 Drivers ChampionshipP1) Mark Webber; 202 points
P2) Fernando Alonso; 191 pts
P3) Lewis Hamilton; 182 pts
P4) Sebastian Vettel; 181 pts
P5) Jenson Button; 177 pts
(As of Round 15 – Singapore)

Thus having awaited F1 Debrief on SPEED; what the HELL! I might as whale stay-up for Qualifying, eh? Especially since I’d like to find out Weather or NOT! They’re able to squeeze in the three ‘Qualie sessions. CRIKEYS MATES! PULL YOUR ARSES OUT AND CANCEL THE BLOODY THING! After Clyde & I both lamented last weekend how we’d like to be at Suzuka this year... I’m thinking may be it was best to not be SOAKING WET! SHEISA! I mean C’mon Uncle Bernaughty – Pull the Plug... As what a shame for those Zillions of ‘Mega Devoted Japanese Fans – Who ALL should be given a refund!

So I’m guessing History will repeat itself? As Messer Buxton interviewed RBR Team Boss Christian Horner who said: “We’re ALL looking at the same weather radar picture – and it doesn’t look like it breaks ‘til 8PM.” (Saturday night) So why all of the STUPID delaying tactics Bernie... OOPS! Guess I’ve prattled on long enough ‘bout that, right? Just tell me when to reset the BLOODY ‘Ol VCR - Otay?

So having scampered off to finish poondin’ out this mesmerizing story... I missed the final moments of the SPEED Qualifying Broadcast... But at 11:39PM West Coast/Seattle Time; Oh Never Mind! The Powers to be finally realized they could NOT Postpone any further what had been obvious to everyone on Pitlane. As Will Buxton chatted up his new Mate Bruno Senna during the rain delay, where Senna quipped: “With this much rain I think we’d need a hull and a propeller on the back...” (To go anywhere) So Qualifying will be held on a Sunday for the second time in F1 history, slated for 4hrs prior to race... As I have NO idea when SPEED will air this?

Qualifying to take place on Sunday

So, who’ll win the Race? And will ‘Aussie Mark Webber still be leading the Drivers World Championship? You Make the Call – As I think I’m off to Tacoma once again...

Will Bruno stay or will he go?

(Bruno Senna; Source: itv-f1.com)

Don’t know if Y’all are following along with the Hilarity occurring at Hispania Racing this weekend, as race driver Bruno Senna has been given the week off in favour of Sakon Yamamoto, or as ‘Hobbo (David Hobbs) laughingly referred to during Friday practice; “Sackoe Money-ato.” Cymbol crash please!

The removal of Senna, nephew of Ayrton surely is a disappointment to Messer Bruno, who reputedly has residence in Britain, is very popular there and was looking forward to what he calls his second “Home-race.”

Yet, just 24hrs after his reported sacking, things have gotten even funnier as now Bruno has been confirmed for the remainder of the season at Hispania, albeit the Teams Test/Reserve Driver Yamamoto will race this weekend instead.

Senna to return to HRT seat in Germany

While Team Boss Colin Kolles claims there isn’t any animosity between Senna and the Team, you have to wonder if it has anything to do with SPEED’s Pitboy Will Buxton noting how Bruno had claimed that the only upgrade that had occurred for the European GP weekend was Senna getting a new iPhone; YOUCH!While others have suggested that perhaps Senna has now found some additional funding he’d previously been lacking? Then again it's certainly getting them some publicity, eh?

And I enjoyed Sakon’s comments when pressed upon whether or not he’d spoken to Bruno yet? No, I don’t think right now’s the right time to do so... But I’ll talk to him eventually...

Heir to Senna

More Monaco Madness

Otay, perhaps I’m giving this way too much attention, eh? Especially now with the “Shock” news over Austin, Texas landing the USGP beginning in 2012... But I do find it amusing how much controversy Rubens Barrichello ‘N former Scuderia Sparring Partner Herr Schumacher caused during the somewhat Anticlimactic Monaco GP, albeit four Safety Cars and a loose Drain cover kept it entertaining, not to mention the NOT-So ‘Scrumptious ‘Juan, nee Jarno Trulli’s Brain fade in the races closing laps, which in turn provided the setting for DER TERMINATOR (M. Schumacher) to pounce upon Bosom Buddy Fred Alonso...

Karun Chandhok: “I ducked and it went over my head…”

Thus here’s two entertaining pieces from James Allen, one upon the current iteration of F1 Steering apparatus, along with his latest Technical insights.

Secrets of an F1 Steering wheel


James Allen: F1 Tech - Monaco

GO BRUNO GO!

“BRUNO-BE-GOOD!”

Hey, I know its wishful thinking... But I’d like to see Bruno Senna be the first of the F1 NewBoyz to score his maiden Grand Prix Championship point, whilst also wishing for teammate Karun Chandhok continued success...

As I find Hispania Racing to be the new millennium’s Minardi of the Formula 1 Grid, and as such, you’ve just always gotta root for the little guys, eh? Especially since they seem to be the smallest of the three new outfits to crack the grid this year, so go givem’ HELL Hispania Racing, Bruno ‘N Karun!

Bruno Senna: “We want to have performance”

Starship F1 stirs up the Desert Sands of Bahrain

As Bahraini Ground Control has given the Green Light for the 2010 Formula 1 season to commence, some scant 24hrs ago, as I feel like I’ve been running around the clock, in my anticipation of hearing one of the sweetest sounds in Motorsports live once again, whilst awaiting the highly anticipated return to the Grid Iron of one of the sport’s all time Greatest… As in the Seven Times World Champion.

Michael Schumacher
“I’m like a ‘child looking forward to Christmas,” and that his ‘batteries are recharged.’
(Source: Adam Cooper’s F1 Blog.com)

Michael Schumacher – Like a child looking forward to Christmas

Ah, the Life “O Riley, Err an esteemed Bake ‘N Shake (Cut ‘N Paste) ‘Vurd Botcherer, eh? Or is ‘Dat a 40 Somme-thun with a Confuzer… As I’ve been coundin’ down the months “N weeks ‘til we finally went racing proper, Err Open wheel Racing, with not one but two great Left ‘N Right Twisties venues slated for this weekend. As Formula 1 kicks off its season in the Desert Sands of Bahrain, whilst Indy Car contests the inaugural Streets of Sao Paolo…

DON’T FORGET TO SPRING AHEAD TONIGHT!!! +1hr...

So perhaps I was feeling a wee bit like a ‘Young-un on Christmas morning as I decided to arise at 3AM to hear those glorious landSharks ripping up the ‘Ash-fault in the Kingdom of Bahrain Friday morning, Aye Karumba!

As I guess the curiosity of just how the return of DER TERMINATOR! Nee Michael Schumacher would transpire got the better of Mwah, eh? Although I shouldn’t have been surprised to see Schuey wind-up in P3 on Day 1, albeit the meat in the McLaren sandwich, with Lewis ahead and Jenson behind, in the somewhat controversial MP4-25’s, which there’s much speculation over its rear wing bleed slot arrangement.

Thus, I’m still awaiting the 41yr old German to become awash in a Battle Royale between such esteemed SuperStarz like the young ‘ZEBB, ‘JENSE, Fredrico, JAGUAR, Felipe, Weber, etc, along with the Young Lions like the Nico Brothers, The Krakow Kid, Timo, etc nipping at his heels. Not to mention the Rookies, who will hope to not be lapped too many times by the legend… While it’ll be interesting to see who does what and which new boyz Team excels, eh?

Schumacher’s return, what’s changed?

And there’s been much banter over the new teams “lack” of speed, which is always such an oxymoron for me… Ok, yeah, Bruno Senna was a most un-F1-like 11+ seconds behind in the brand new Hispania Racing car built by Dallara, but it was the very first ever 20 laps it had ever run, grounding to a halt at the end of Practise 2 with a rear wheel nut failure… Of which I’d like to see the Team & Driver not Sugar-coat next time, albeit spare a thought for this Team’s Mechanic’s, Engineer’s, etc who are doing Yeoman’s like work just to get the two Spanish racecar’s onto the grid and I expect to see them improve quickly! As it would be ironic if they were to outpace both the much more hyped Lotus and Virgin efforts, eh? And although I know ‘tis because of a lack of sponsors, nevertheless the driver’s name on the sidepod reminds me of some cars with Mika, Kimi and DC on their McLarein flanks…

And I was gonna say something sarcastic ‘bout wanting ‘The SPEED Boyz (Bob, David ‘N Steve) to shut their traps at 3AM for the very first time in order to let us just hear the banshee wail of those marvelous V8 lumps… Not to mention going off to commercial break just a scant 8min after starting the telecast… BUTT! Apparently my Old School recordin’ device has gotten back at me in their defense as for reasons unexplained it didn’t record today’s “Qualie” session at Oh-DARK-30, SHEISA! (So I’ll haveda wait ‘til 7:30PM tonight… After the Supercross)

Now I wunder if I’m gonna have as much fun tryin’ to get the IMS Radio Network to come up on the newly BASTARDIZED IndyCar website… Ah, the life of a visually impaired ‘Vurd Botcherer, eh?

F1: 2010 launch - HRT

(HRT F1; Source: F1 Fanatic.co.uk)

Come On Down! You’re the very next F1 Constructor… As the former Campos Meta 1 Team broke cover last Thursday, just a scant 10 days prior to Bahrain, as the newly rebranded HRT F1 Team held a press conference in Murcia, Spain where it showed off its new Racecar along with confirming Karun Chandhok as their second driver, which has been widely expected… While I don’t know if Jose Maria Lopez was named as the Spanish squad’s Test/Reserve Driver or not, although this too was expected...

Yet I wouldn’t expect too much from either Bruno Senna or Chandhok as the chassis hasn’t turned a wheel in anger, nor run a single test session this year, so HRT will definitely be starting at a disadvantage… But then again, at least they made it to the party!

2010 Car launch: HRT F1

HRT F1 in pictures