Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Tomaso Files: Jolly Green Sea Turtles...

The Hawaiian Green Sea Turtle, or Honu, is listed as an Endangered Species - and thus should NOT be touched...
So it’s been awhile since I’ve scribbled any Fuzzy Wuzzy, Err isn’t that FAST EDDIES new primary sponsor? Or Furry, LUV-able critter stories... Of which No Fenders ‘Offical Photographer ‘CARPETS is an H-U-G-E Fan of; Hoohah! Hur-hur-hur...

Thus, with your Humble Scribe having just returned from ‘Juan of the most enjoyable 17-day’s Holiday on the B-I-G island of Hawaii... Having had to frolic ‘round in the surf nearly everyday amongst the throngs ‘O swimmers, boogie-boarders, snorkeler’s, etc - which I’m feeling a Snorkel Bob story coming on over his MoFlo II ‘Mega snorkel... It was extremely rough sleddin’ having to swim with the multiple green Sea Turtles who enjoyed buzzing the crowds at White Sands beach on a daily routine! As I even had ‘Juan of these larger creatures swim directly towards Mwah before suddenly being tapped on my thigh three times in rapid succession by its flipper! Hey Dude, you’re supposed to pet me...

Thus having just returned to the infinitely cooler climes of the Pacific Northwest on Turkey Lurkey evening - where the High temperature was nearly 40-degrees COLDER; SHEISA!!! As the Shuttle service had even turned on its heated benches and the pleasant female “Desk Jockey” even inquired if I wanted a “blankey” for my legs...

Thus, having not looked at ANY motor racing websites in two and-a-half weeks; obviously I’m completely outta duh loop of Der ‘Vurld de Motorsporten Ja-Ja! Although I was pleasantly surprised to see that this past weekend’s Brazilian GP was at a most enjoyable 8AM Pacific Time; which CARPETS has informed me is three hours behind Indy/New York/Eastern Time... While Seattle’s only 2hrs behind Hawaiian time currently; but I digress...

I only heard the barest of news ‘bout the Austin F1 Quagmire on November 20th when Ricky G told me the news upon his arrival in Kona... Of which I’ve now read the majority of blog reports on the Mesopotamia occurring at COTA over the dispute of who’s on first, who’s paying the bills and Uncle Bernaughty as always simply sayin’: SHOW ME THE MONEY! (Mrs. Combs) As Bernie was his ever ‘Cheeky self when asked upon the Brazilian GP grid over the Austin situation, quipping to SPEED’s “Willy Buxom” that Austin needs two things: “A pen and money!”

Now having read back to November 18th, I’d haveda say the most surprising Formula 1 news I’ve read is Pedro de la Rosa’s hiring at Hispania F1 next year, as the 40yr old Spaniard will take a page outta DER TERMINATOR’s playbook next year. As Pedro has done a dealio for two years to race for HRT and thus with Michael Schumacher apparently set to fulfill his three year contract with Mercedes GP - thus we’ll have two 40 ‘Somme-thungs on the grid next season; CRIKEYS! As NO disrespect to Pedro, but I fail to see the logic in this... As it seems he had a less than stellar outing for Sauber this season as Sergio Perez’s substitute, eh? (So perhaps? He’s bringing a large cheque to the equation?)

Thus ‘bout the only three motorsports related things I caught whilst on the B-I-G island were thinking ‘bout Tony Renna and Sergio Scaletti’s death - along with obviously the Flying Hawaiian, aka Danny Ongais, which led me to a very brief discussion upon notable Hawaiian athletes... leading me to the name of Eddie Aikau - who I’ve obviously never heard of... While my Pops also threw out Duke “Kuhmaya-maya” Kahanamoku as a ‘Mega Surfer Dude too... Who apparently has the longest name on the island: Duke Paoa Kahinu Mokoe Hulikohola Kahanamoku, which I gleamed from WICKEDpedia...

Eddie Aikau was an interesting Dude, becoming Hawaii’s very first-ever hired Lifeguard who never lost a single life during his tenure before sadly being lost at sea when paddling his surfboard to get help for his stricken shipmates, having reputedly ditched his life jacket which hindered his paddling and sadly was lost at sea in 1978 at the tender age of 31...

And before I left, I wandered into ‘Juan ‘O SPEED’s countless 1hr Barrett-Jackson specials, this one focusing upon the Clive Cussler Car Collection in Colorado... As it had been years since I’d read any of Messer Cussler’s epic action-suspense “Mystery” novels... Thus heading to the library, I decided to see if any Cussler Books-on-Tape (CD) were available? And was happy to snag two current novels to listen to during the brief lulls between incoming waves on the beach; Hmm? Now the only thingy missing is some of those adult beverages with tiny umbrellas in the glasses, right? CRIKEYS MATES! What’s ‘Dat Tagline ‘bout it doesn’t get any better than this; Oh Never Mind!

As the fictional Dirk Pitt of NUMA in Mr. Cussler’s numerous novels owns a bevy of antique Automobiles which are always featured frequently in his books, not to mention the 1929 Ford Tri-motor Aeroplane that Pitt uses to fly underneath the Brooklyn Bridge before flying at a precariously low level along Downtown streets whilst trying to evade being shot down by a renegade World War I German Tri-wing Fokker doing its best Red Barron impersonation! As you get the idea...

Thus it seemed a tad bit Karmic that the first of these two novels I read included the ultimate discovery of Kublah Khan’s burial chamber found via a massive underwater lava tube passage to a long hidden cavern on the Southwest end of the B-I-G island of Hawaii whilst your humble scribe withered away in the chaise lounge chair poolside; Hmm? ‘Somme-thun to do with those funny ‘lil umbrella drinkies, eh?

And I’ve haveda say my most melancholy day was on Tony Renna’s birthday, my final full day in Kona, when we traveled north to the Waikoloa Hilton Resort for a leisurely ‘Walkabout... Where the Eddie Aikau Restaurant & Museum resides, which after a quick stop in the Crazy T-Shirts store where I picked up an awesome long sleeved Ski Hawaii T-Shirt for the upcoming FRIDGID Northwest winter fast approaching... Hey, it’s supposed to be 33deg-f here this week! We meandered over to the “House of Parrots” where I had NO idea that I’d soon be holding a Parrot on my arm before it liked me so much that it’s “Handler” asked if she could place it on my shoulder? And the bird totally got into the action as it began trying to pepper me with love-kisses and even said “WOW!” (Your breath really stinks Dude; Hya!)

Then we had a pleasurable lunch at the Hang 10 Bar and listened to the nearby Dolphins ceaselessly chattering while two family’s went swimming with them before taking a ride on one of the three remaining “Boats” that go around the entire complex on hidden tracks in a man-made channel. Then a drive back home thru a ‘Mega Monsoon tropical rainstorm before catching ‘Juan final glorious sunset whilst bobbing in the warm waters of the Pacific Ocean with the yellow-red orangish hues glistening a path a la the yellow brick road atop the mild waves shimmering all the way from Mwah to that small ball called the SUN! Before totally disappearing over the horizon; as we continued bobbing up ‘N down in the waves long past sunset...

Off to Tacoma for a few Dazes to regale countless tales ‘O high stakes adventure on the BIG Island of Hawaii, as I’ll try to rap my head ‘round Der ‘Vurld de Motorsporten beginning next week; Honest...

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