Friday, September 27, 2013

Boo Byrds Flock to Vettel


Sebastian Vettel, 2013 Singapore GP. (Image source: the Cahier Archive, grandprix.com)


So Niki Lauda and Christian Horner are all in a tizzy over German Wunderkind Seb' Vettel, previously known here at No Fenders as Master 'Zebb being constantly stalked by the Boo Byrds...


As I've previously scribbled I have ZERO sympathy for who now here is known fondly as "TWINKIEBOY," the moniker being given by Tacoma Bureau Chief Mary Ellen who's become exceedingly blunt towards Formula 1 and the drivers of its sport.

Thus this booing phenomenon which began appropriately at Bloody Silverstone made me think about its ramifications, not to mention my exceedingly long duration of being an F1 Aficionado and whether or not they were justified? Since I've only ever actively BOOED one driver specifically at a racetrack in several years now, his name being 'HULIO, nee Helio Castroneves as I was the only person BOOING loudly in the stands at Edmonton in 2010 upon 'HULIO's Machiavellian blocking tactics for the perceived win. As I can tell Yuhs I was the only Yank in a sea of 'KuhNucks booing that day...

And it's an interesting reflection to Mwah when I've decided to quit rootin' for one of my three Numero Uno favourite Formula 1 drivers, as "the Professor's" (Alain Prost) antics found me casting about in favour of  who'd become nicknamed 'DER TERMINATOR, aka Michael Schumacher, who I'd have to say I've personally donated vast sums 'O Greenbacks to his personal bank account en route to becoming the sport's first Billionaire driver! As I was simply Ga-Ga over Schuey! as he simply captivated Mwah at an early age, as it was over twenty years ago that I became smitten by him - noticeably his 'Mega driving talent.

Thus began an insane amount of collecting various knickknacks - ALL HAIL SCHUMI! As I'm afraid to reveal how many Diecasts in scales ranging from 1:64 to 1:18 I've accumulated over the years, my most obscure to be a DTM Saloon car, not to mention miniature helmets, multiple T-shirts, photographs and the like, along with a treasure trove of videotapes in a box...

Yet somewheres along the line, Herr Schumacher lost his allure to Mwah, way before his pathetic three-year retirement tour at the Silver Arrows, nee Mercedes circa 2010-12, since by that time I'd long since become a devotee of Sebastian Vettel, who said "Just DON'T call me Baby Schuey!"

As I think Schumacher's antics in Austria, 'Twenty-oh-Two was the first significant fracture to bubble to the surface, albeit Michael's horrific antics of trying to punt "Jack Vanilla" (Jacques Villeneuve) off track in Jerez, Spain's 1997 season ending European GP should have really been the beginning of his end for me, eh?

And as I'd already tired of Herr Sckewmacher's blatant Bad Boy driving antics somewhere in the 2005-06 period, what totally pushed me over the edge towards NO longer respecting him was that ridiculous episode of deliberately parking his Ferrari ontrack at thee Principality, nee Monte  Carlo circa '06 in order to impede "Fredrico Suave" (Fred Alonso) from scoring Pole position for that year's Monaco Grand Prix.

But Austria 2002 seems to be repeating itself - as I mused that I'd seen this movie before when Master 'Zebb blatantly disregarded team orders for Mark Webber to get the win at Malaysia when Vettel ignored the coded "Multi-21" instructions, to which even Team Principal Christian Horner's in-car radio message was played over the world feed: "C'mon Seb, this is silly!" As Horner was feebly trying to get Sebastian to back off and give Webber his lead back to NO avail!

Now this isn't the first example of Vettel's penchant for not obeying team orders, having crashed out himself and Webber in Turkey, 2010, along with my all time Bestest' Webber quote "NOT BAD FOR A NUMBER 2 DRIVER!" After having won the 2010 British Grand Prix after the team had given Vettel Mark's newer spec front wing...


I first became  aware of Vettel's potential for greatness at his very first outing at Istanbul 'Twenty-oh-Six when he was nabbed for speeding in the Pitlane during the Friday Free Practice session, and then having chosen him as my new favourite driver in the summer of 2008 whilst in Der Fatherland for the Hockenheim GP.

Thus I suppose with all of this knowledge of how egotistical and selfish championship drivers are, it was easy for me to immediately switch off my supporting of Vettel upon his dastardly deed at Malaysia, especially now with a 60-point lead in the championship, was the netting of seven extra points really warranted?


Thus I find myself fully supporting the BOO Byrds hounding Vettel, since I think it's akin to the fans feverishly BOOING Dario Franchitti, who I've refrained from calling Dashley LePew anymore at Mother Speedway (Indianapolis) upon his pushing Taku-san' (Takuma Sato) wide for the victory in 2012, albeit I didn't BOO him that day and actually was quite surprised by this tactic.

Which Mary Ellen asked me why I thought this had happened? Is it because the Fans view him as one of the "One-Per centers?" As in we're all jealous since we're NOT privileged like Dario is, after all we're all part of the "99-Percenters," right?

Hence, perhaps we're a 'Wee bit jealous, eh? But then again shouldn't we have the right to be jealous? And what makes Sebastian think he's so special, even perhaps holier then water? Oh Never Mind! As I said before Seb', if you're gonna act like a Piranha ontrack then you'd better get used to the BOOING!

Or even better yet Messer Horner and Mr. David Coulthard, the latter not having a leg to stand upon in my eyes since he bluntly swept the Greenpeace demonstrator trying to scale the podium at Spa totally underneath the rug... Which implies he's pretty ensconced in Totalitarianism, right? Hence, not recognizing our rights to have differencing opinions, as both of these men are leading the charge for  the booing to stop since its disrespectful - to which I can only say Chris, David and Niki, like Don Henley sang all those years ago: GET OVER IT! I mean whatever happened to the freedom of expression?


As we AIN'T BOOING Seb because of his brilliant driving talent; NO! we're BOOING him 'cause he's a whiny 'lil Punk, I mean after all, Vettel's been so appropriately nicknamed thee Smiling Assassin by NBCSN's 'Wee "Willie Buxom" (Will Buxton) no less!

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