Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Bernard says ‘Nyet to ICS Owners...

In the midst of debuting that Oh So ‘Beautimuss lookin’ Body-by-Mennen AFX AeroKit Indy Car on CONverNbc XP-Calladrociouses Indy Open Wheel Weekly TV show, Randy “The CandyMann” Bernard dropped the following Bombshell in regards to the current IndyCar Owners dissent over having to PuckerUp, Err Pony-up $70-75 large ‘Juans for new Super Dooper slippery AeroKits...

Mr. Bernard said after careful consideration with his ICS Braintrust, primarily Brian Braveheart and ‘lil Al, although we did include Tony Cottman in the discussions... Whilst Eddie ‘tHE GOOSE Gossage was apparently busy scribblin’ his little blog thingy over at ESPN; but I digress...

Having taken the (precious few...) Fans into consideration, unless they’re OVER 40 Somme-thun; right Mr. Barnes? We felt we needed to react to their resounding outcry for different looking chassis beginning in 2012; yet, we also want to take into consideration our loyal (Minnowesqe) IZOD Indy Car Series Team Owners and thus have come up with the following “Win-Win” solution.

The new Body-by-Mennen AFX AeroKits will be implemented as announced during that overly HYPED Press Conference, where everybody texted in their vote to *86-666-69* on their Druid mobiles... As we’ll go ahead and let Chebbie, Loti, Dallarrer, Honder and anybody else who’s approved by Brian, Err the league to introduce their new kits as planned Just-in-Time for the 96th running of Indianapolis.

But for those team owners who don’t wanna spend the money (show-me-The-Money!) On new Aero kits, we’ll allow them to run their  2010 Spec Dallara/Honda Firestone shod racecars with two distinct differences. First they’ll haveda run on 92RON unleaded Pump gas with there fuel-nob fixed in the reserve Save Fuel mode the entire race. And secondly they’ll haveda run their cars in the 2010 Road Course/Street Circuit Aero-package configuration... As we think this should level the playing field whilst keeping competitor’s costs down, along with making are remaining fans happy with the advent of truly different looking race cars Ontrack at The Speedway next year...

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