Monday, May 2, 2011

Top 10 Reasons Why Indy Car ratings are Down?

Apparently Randy Bernard was overheard on the flight home Monday from Sao Paolo lamenting his recent Versus television ratings and came up with the following reasons...

No. 10) Hello, Hello? Oh SHIT! They’re using the Indycar.com live Timing & Scoring to keep track of the race...

9) Who in the HE-LL told TK to HUG Castroneves in the Pitlane? Robin Miller sez we need MORE HATE!

8) Perhaps this wasn’t a good weekend to run all of those GoDaddy Danica Shower commercials?

7) Wait – hold the phone... What do you mean Versus was busy showing the PBR live from Seattle?

6) Oh Gawd! They’ve hired Robin Miller to work on the Versus TV broadcasts...

5) Whadda Yuhs means we’re at the Porto Alegre Airport right now, I thought Sao Paolo was 700-miles North of there?


4) Who forgot to have the Tecate Girls show up...

3) How come The Donald wasn’t driving the 2X-seater this weekend?

2) Helio Castroneves didn’t H-I-T anybody on the race track. I thought I TOLD ‘lil Al to Text him and remind Helio he’s on Double Secret Probation and we’re watchin’ him!

And the Number One reason is...
What do you mean NOBODY will be watching the broadcast on a Monday morning at 5AM PACIFIC – I thought they’re ALL Sleepless in Seattle?