Wednesday, May 25, 2011

INDYCAR: Paddock Notes – May 25th Edition

By now I’m sure Y’all have heard the news over Ryan “The Sundrop Kid” Hunter-Reay replacing Bruno Junqueira in the A.J. Foyt Enterprises No. 41 second car entry for this weekend’s 95th running of the Indianapolis 500 Centennial3.0.

And while I’ll always have a BEEF with ‘WhineyBags (Junqueira) for having stiffed me in Portland... I do haveda admit I feel somewhat mildly disappointed for the Brazilian who’s now been ‘BUMPED not once – but twice at the Speedway through NO wrongdoing on his part... As I’d like to think perhaps Mikey Andretti could do a recipical dealio a.k.a. Tagliani last year as a thank you to Bruno – perhaps a second AFS Racing entry, eh?

Speedway Mistress Slays DragonFlies...
And is it just Mwah? But, I’m getting a little bit tired of all of the outpouring over how horrible Mikey’s (Andretti) month ‘O May was; Hmm? Hold on a moment, just exactly how many cars did Dragon Racing wad up? Not to mention Scotty “IRL IS BORING!” Speed’s ‘Daniker HissyFitt with his Engineer... As it was MOST ironic that Saturday evening I was discussing Patrick (“Pat-the-Carpenter”) Carpentier when she asked me who was ‘TAG’s teammate when we used to watch them racing in Vancouver, BC?

As perhaps this should point out just how difficult it is to run an Open Wheel Racecar ‘round the hallowed Speedway grounds, eh? As I’ll count ‘Dat as STRIKE TWO for the TaxiCab Boyz. As I’d say that Jay Penske’s month was far MORE terrible then Mikey’s!

Psst Jay! Perhaps you’ll wanna give Bruno a call and sign him up for next year, eh? Or see if the other Foyt car’s available...

Girl Power!
And NO! I’m NOT speaking ‘bout Princess PermaPout – who I hear has her very own F%%KING FLORESENT GREEN POPE MOBILE!!! To protect her from her adoring Fans; like ‘DAWG. (Pressdog) YAWN!

NOTE TO DANICA! “Simona-Simona” spent several hours signing Autographs personally in her Pits with bandaged & latex gloves to protect her BURNED hands whilst you were busy hiding in your Bus; but I digress...

As I meant to talk ‘bout Pippa Mann, who not only out qualified her Fulltime Conquest Racing teammate “S-SQUARED”, (Sebastian Saavedra) but also Hunter-Reay and Mike Conway, all three who didn’t manage to qualify their way into the race – so way to go Pippa!

Meanwhile it seems that ‘BIA, nee Ana Beatriz had the most low key Under-the-Radar weekend outta the four Femme Fatles making the show, so it’ll be interesting to see who’ll be top female, eh?

Rookie Honours
Otay, my Sentimental favourite Hands Down would be Ye Mayor ‘O Hinchtown, nee James Hinchcliffe... Who’s not only the Mayor of said town, but proverbial Kitty-in-a-Tree Saviour too! Or was that a Planking splinter upon his Schnoz, eh?

And obviously it’d be great for Pippa Mann’s career, as she’s probably one of the least funded drivers, right? While it would be beneficial for the League if J.R. Hildebrand won it, since he’s a product of the Road-to-Indy, i.e.; Indy Lights Champion. Not to mention Charlie Kimball, who’s also from the Indy Lights series – and would most definitely be a “Feel Good Story” due to his Diabetes angle...

But my personal choice is none other then Jay “Funnyman” Howard, who’s finally made the race after two abortive attempts, not necessarily by his own making and hence, I’d like to see the Englishman get some long overdue notoriety; so GOOD LUCK JAY!

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