Monday, April 11, 2011

Playing the Ratings Game...

So while I’m attempting to cope with the dreaded jetRAGG associated with the whims of circumnavigating the globe... YAWN! I thought I’d toss in my two-peso’s worth on what at the time was Randy “The CandyMann” Bernard’s latest Show Stopper... Y’all know that most revered Five-for-Five Dolluh’s; Err, Uhm? I think ‘Dat ‘Juan’s already taken, albeit I think the latest Subweighz $5 FootLonger’s for February is over??? Try sayin ‘Dat FAST 5-times, eh? But I digress... As back to the meat in duh Sandwich. (PUN intended!)

Thus Y’all may recall the dizzying hoopla generated over Messer Bernard’s High Stakes Los Wages holdem Five additional NON-INDYCAR “Contendah’s” for a 5,000,000-dollar payout for winning the series season ending race at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway on October 16, 2011... Where anybody who’s bought a race ticket can potentially get into duh B-I-G show for FREE! GASP! Take another deep breath; here goes my potential Fab-5 candidates. )Which I scribbled prior to going ‘Down Under to OZ...)

Ricky Carmichael
Although this made-for-TV Docudrama is perfectly suited for an encore episode of Travis Pastrana’s Nitro Circus, as I could see Travis Base Jumpin’ off the Stratosphere or doing ‘Juan O his patented NO parachute jumps into LVMS. And as much as I like the guy, I just really cannot see who he would drive for; Hmm? Perhaps with Panther Racing as Captain America as his Wingman? Although certainly NOT The Captain – as I think Pastrana’s a little too WILD for somebody who’s as buttoned down as Roger! (NOT to mention having nearly ZERO Ovaltrack or single seater experience...)

Thus I’m gonna throw a different high wire act’s name into the mix. As in the “GOAT;” (Greatest Of All Time) nee Ricky Carmichael, albeit I prefer StatMann’s pointing out that that title is already taken by some Cat named Ali... Yet Carmichael is currently cutting his teeth in the vaunted N**CAR CampingWorld Truck Series, so he’s got plenty ‘O RoundyRound experience and has an equal Base following a la Pastrana...

Scott Pruett
While everybody’s salivating over the potential of Juan Pablo Montoya – who’s already announced he has NO intentions of participating... wouldn’t it be funny if The Cheepster when for the ultimate Chip SLAM by bringin’ six cars to the track? Why couldn’t he run a third Target Car for let’s see? I dunno, may be say; “The Brackster?” (Kenny Brack) After all they do have a history... Or perhaps ‘Zorro? As Alex Zanardi would most definitely be a crowd pleaser! Nah, I say MAD MAX (Massimiliano) Papis would be Ganassi’s choice...

Then ‘Cheep’s “Sleeper” could come from the other side of the fence - with the Brownsburg Bunch rolling  out a third Chip Ganassi Racing with Felix Sabates TelMex Dallara/Honda for “Scooter,” eh? After all it AIN’T like Scott Pruett is a stranger to the confines of an Open Wheel Racing Car...

John Andretti
Although Marco’s joked ‘bout his GranPappy findin’ out ‘bout this and making another comeback; Hmm? Perhaps that’s why Mario’s been circulating round ‘N round in that two-seater, eh? Hya! I could see Mikey’s Andretti Autosport morphing into another 5-car operation to run “Gentleman John” (Andretti) as a further collaboration with The King – who after all is RASSCAR Nobility...

Jacques Villeneuve
And what about our feverish fans from Up North Eh? As I can hear ‘Dem KuhNucks goin’ GaGa over the inclusion of Jackie V back in IndyCarLand... Otay; so I know he AIN’T Paul Tracy Meesh; BUTT! He’d definitely PEAK the interests of those frozen over Hosers and would probably give, say; Dryer & Reinbold a fightin’ chance at winning an Oval race...

Nelson Piquet Jr.
Since TK “Follow-your-Schnoz” (Kanaan) is OFF Randy Bernard’s invite list, along with PT, etc, I figured I’d throw this name out there simply from el Brasilia angle, Ci?As after all “Nelson Pickett Junior” has Formula One experience and is now plyin’ his trade in ‘Dat PickemUp truck series aforementioned... Not to mention this season he’s runnin’ with a bonified contender, a.k.a. KHI. (Kevin Harvick Inc) Thus I’d think he’d be included on Randy’s DanceCard, right?

Adrian Fernandez
And I know I’m gonna get in trouble for this; BUTT! DON’T forget the GuacamoleHeadz – Ariva-Ariva-Ariva! Thus although he may be a bit long-in-the-tooth... You couldn’t go wrong with ‘Juan ‘O Mexico’s favoured sons, a.k.a Adrian Fernandez – who after all, does have vast Oval track experience and is crafty as a Fox!

Other Possibilities?
(In NO particular order...)
Alex Gurney; PJ Jones; Robby “DirtMann” Gordon; Ron Fellows; John Edwards; Katherine Legge; David Martinez; PJ Chesson and I dunno, perhaps the REAL Iceman, a.k.a. The Kimster, nee Kimi Raikkonen...

So will The CandyMann get his wish and have five bonafied Starz show up for the RALLY-RALLY-RALLY B-I-G Finale in Sin City? And will this have any affect upon the series title fight? Hmm? Just had this thought-bubble; would The Wanderin’ Milka be eligible? You Make the Call!

OOPS! Guess my rith Uh tickin’ AIN’T tooze good, eh? As I seem to have gone over the allotment of five candidates...

No comments:

Post a Comment