Monday, April 25, 2011

INDYCAR: Long ‘Beech Quips

Takuma Sato and Terry Angstadt support the With You Japan charity. Source: IZOD Indy Car Series

Funniest part of the whole Saturday afternoon qualifying coverage was Ryan “The Sundrop Kid” Hunter-Reay’s reply over NOT being happy by missing out on Pole by 8-one hundred’s of a second to “DJ Willy P,” William Power’s new handle according to Mr. Innucci of One Lap Down... Which, News flash; I’ve just realized its initials are O.L.D., as in OLD, get it? Not to be Cornfuzed with Versus’s previous incarnation as the OLN Network, but I digress...

As Hunter-Reay lamented during his Post-qualifying interview; NO! I’M NOT HAPPY with second; anytime you can jump up and (SLAP-SLAP-SLAP) PUNCH Penske and Ganassi in the face – you’ve gotta take advantage of it! CRIKEYS! Careful Mate, I think perhaps somebody name Ryan “The NEW IZOD Dude” Briscoe may still wish to give you an “Hertz Dounghut” for last week’s takeout at the Barber’s, eh?

Kiwi Cringing...
And what’s the dealio with Scotty “Kleenex” Dixon’s continuous WHINING! As recently I posted a story title: Kiwi ‘Wingeing... To which Mary Ellen said, did you explain what “Wingeing” means? Whale it’s something I picked up Down Under, which I came to interpret as slang for Whining, which is exactly what Dixie’s been doing the past 2-weeks; C’mon Mate, get on with it, will Yuhs!

As Dixon whined ‘bout being blocked by Will Power during qualifying, albeit when pressed ‘TK “Follow your Schnauz” Kanaan mentioned he’d been blocked by a ‘Juan Messer Power too, although Kanaan was quick to point out that it was NOT an allegation, just an observation... To which Davey Hamilton was quick to jump all over saying; that’s two for Power, while In-booth partner Mike King piled-on saying; whale there’s one driver who’s NOT saying it was a possibility, eluding to Dixon, WWHHHHAAAAHaaaaaaa...........

Where’s the Lasses?
And isn’t it interesting that NO Femme Fatales made it into the weekend’s second round ‘O qualifying, even with the new & improved “easier” Odd-Even grouping’s for the first two ‘Qualie sessions, as Simona-Simona (de Silvestro) was highest with a P18 starting position. Second Fiddle; Err, Second-best was DannaWho? In P20, whilst ‘BIA was P26 – whom I thought shouldn’t have been running this weekend. As Ana Beatriz only added fuel to the fire of a rushed return by spinning Solo on the Warm-up lap and then adding insult-to-injury, stalled it on the Safety Crew’s first restart...

What About Those Fast Six?
And speaking of qualifying, it is amazing that the 12th, 13th, 16th & 18th quickest drivers after three rounds of practice were all in the Fast Six Shootout, while a very discontinlent Briscoe sounded absolutely “Gutted” during his Post-qualifying interview on missing the Fas Six Shootout by just that much! As Briscoe had been fastest of ALL after the first two days of Practice, but failed to advance to the final round of qualifying...

King ‘O Thee Beach
And DON’T Y’all forget it! (Mused some Cat named ‘lil Al...) As I’m surprised nobody corrected my gaff upon The King of the Beach’s win tally, as I heard that ‘lil Al (Unser Jr.) actually has six victories at Long Beach – NOT five as I alluded to,

And I seem to vividly remember Danny Sullivan going on to victory in his Molson blue racecar after taking out teammate Al Unser Jr. who hence, may have had seven victories along
Shoreline Drive

Meanwhile two multiple LBGP winners named ‘PT and the Hamburgular, a.k.a. Paul Tracy and Sebastian Bourdais, with four and three wins respectively, seemed to have seen their “Glory Days” go out with the tide? As SeaBass rolled off P21 in the lowly Dale Coyne Racing entry, whilst The Chrome Horn’s (Tracy) Dragon Racing entry started P25, with only Ana Beatriz and J.R. Hildebrand slower... As we all know about Marco and Sebastian’s coming together, not to mention Tracy’s controversial penalty!

Captain Frapachino?
And speaking ‘O “Captain America,” (J.R. Hildebrand) I see he’s continued making friends with THE GRAMINATOR, nee Graham Rahal – who sounded pretty livid after having had his final qualifying run SCREWED by J.R., as Graham didn’t mince words ‘bout how that’s two weekends in-a-row that all JR’s been able to say is: I’m sorry... Hmm? Suppose Rahal won’t be sending him any Christmas cards, eh? Especially after having read ‘bout how The Son ‘O Stash mighta been tempted to toss a Frapachino his way; Hya!

Ebony & Ivory?
And lastly... Whale! I’ll leave it to Y’all to decide which ‘Juan’s Michael and witch ‘Juan’s Paul; Err, Ebony or Ivory? Hya! As I can only guess why somebody’s astute observations during the Long Beach weekend brought a Goofy-grin to my face... Let’s see, Goofy, Los Angeles, Disneyland; Oh Never Mind!

Jeff Innucci:
Final Thought:Saw an awful lot of Tony George at the track today. For a while he was in Takuma Sato's pit area. Then he was talking with Katherine Legge. Then he was sitting at a timing and scoring area... next to Robin Miller. They weren't talking so it wasn't exactly cats and dogs living together, but almost.”

That’s what Mr. Innucci wrote in his Saturday at Long Beach post... As lets see if we can connect-the-dots, shall we? As in One: Hopefully Mr. George was visiting ‘TakuSan (Takuma Sato) to give him a healthy donation cheque for his With You Japan charity campaign. Two: TG’s hoping to ink Thee Leggy ‘Juan to a long-term multi-year contract for his defunct Vision racing team whilst searching for the next Milka duno; Err, scratch that (MEOW!) DannaWho’s replacement, eh? And Three: Robin Miller sez: NO COMMENT! As what’s that ‘Ol saying ‘bout know who your friends are – but keep a closer eye on your enemies... Hya!