Monday, April 18, 2011

INDYCAR: Young Lions line-up for Barber’s chair...

Otay, so I was trying to be somewhat clever about Shave ‘N Haircut at the Barber’s, as in Barber Motorsports Park, site of last weekend’s GP of Ala-bammie, which I don’t know ‘bout Y’all, but the announcement of the Mayor ‘O Hinchtown’s signing plus Symone PageUno” really got me Fired-up for the weekend’s outing, after what I thought was a pretty lackluster season opener. Of course Barber’s a pretty hard track to pass upon, unless there’s some Double-wide, Err Double your Trouble restarts, eh?

So I wasn’t expecting too much from this pretty Sweet class of rookie’s, albeit they performed pretty nicely, as just what does “rookie” status entail? Whale, in my book at least – it implies having started NO more then 3-races in a season, hence Ana Beatriz’s Non-rookie status. Along with the Hamburgular, nee Sebastian Bourdais, whom I believe I heard Kurty Cavin explaining his having prior Ovaltrack experience, albeit brief in Champ Cars excluded him from this status in Indy Cars this season...

Chip Ganassi Racing: No. 83) Charlie Kimball
Start: 21st; Finish: 10th
ICS Starts: 2

“The Nodo Nordisc Kid” comes thru with flying colours in only his second ever BigCarz start... As Kimball was the second highest finishing rookie behind Pagenaud. And not ONLY did Kimball out finish “THE GRAMINATOR,” his vastly experienced “Brownsburg Bunch” Satellite-squad Stable-mate, i.e.; Graham Rahal... He finish one position ahead of some Cat I refer to as the Hamburgular, a.k.a. Sebastian Bourdais. Yuhs know, that four-time consecutive Newman Haas Racing Champ Car Champion! Who managed to keep the Boy Scouts car on the Isle this weekend and follow Charles home in P11...

Start: 26th; Finish: 26th
ICS Starts: 3

Really haven’t heard much about S2 – as he starts Caboose upon the field for the continuously struggling Minnowesqe race team. Sheez, you know you’re struggling when DannaWho out qualifies Yuhs on a Road course, eh? As Saavedra appears to becoming fastly the Milkalicious of 2011? YIKES!

Actually Saavedra had a strange weekend – first trundling Offcourse during qualifying, in Turn-12 I believe... As this action mystified Davey “STUD!” Hamilton during the webcast. Then Sebastian apparently lumbered back to the pits after having done some ‘Agro (Agricultural) work upon the lush, BEAUTY-FULL! BMS grounds... Hey “S2,” haven’t Yuhs heard how the grounds are already immaculately manicured, right?

Hmm? Wonder if Eric Bachelart is ruing his choice of Saavedra vs. Bertrand “Uhm-Uhm Fresh!” (Sandwiches) Baguette, eh?

Dale Coyne Racing: No. 19) James Jakes
Start: 25th; Finish: 25th
ICS Starts: 2

I still really don’t know anything about this driver whom apparently came outta nowhere to buy his ride at the Minnowesqe DCR outfit. As the Englishman had a “Squirrely” race by all accounts, first making a trip thru the Sand Dunes, Err “Kitty-litter,” nee run-off. And then retiring after radioing into his Engineer that his backside felt warm... As the car mysteriously had erupted on fire! Thus Jakes retired immediately upon roastin’ his Acorns...

Dreyer & Reinbold Racing: No. 24) Simon Pagenaud
(I/R-Ana Beatriz)
Start: 23rd; Finish: 8th  
ICS Starts: 1

I was very pleased to see “Symone PageUnoe” (Simon Pagenaud) finally make his long overdue IndyCar start, albeit under somewhat dubious circumstances – as the French Sports Cars Ace was standing in for the injured Ana ‘Bia Figarito Beatriz, who ran an most amazingly gutsy race at St Pete while driving nearly the entire race with a broken wrist! (Or fractured scapeloid for those of you technical jargon wordsmiths, albeit I AIN’T gonna spend precious hours “Gogglin’” the term, Jeffie; Hya!)

Although the Brazilian had surgery performed on March 29th, the Twisty demands of BMS were simply too great for her to return prematurely... As I’d hazard a guess she may also sit out Long Beach? (If she was smart...) As obviously ‘Bia will want to be back at 100% for her upcoming Home race in Sao Paolo on May 1st.

But back to “Symone,” who I’ve been a huge fan of, ever since his Champ Car days – where he raced for Derrick Walker’s Team Australia outfit alongside somebody named Will Power... As Symone is blisteringly quick and I’m hopeful he’ll soon become a regular IndyCar fixture, perhaps in 2012, eh? But I digress... As Pagenaud actually had the best race of all “True Bleu” rookies by finishing eighth overall, chasing ‘HULIO all the way to the stripe. Way to GO Simon!

Newman Haas Racing: No. 06) James Hinchcliffe
Start: 8th; Finish: 24th
ICS Starts: 1

Without a doubt, hands down the most impressive rookie of the weekend; at least thru practice and qualifying... Just one of two drivers making their IndyCar debuts, albeit the Mayor ‘O Hinchtown vastly outperformed Pagenaud’s qualifying pace... Although to be fair, I believe it was Pagenaud’s inaugural outing – who had never tested a Big Car before, whilst Hinchcliffe had multiple test days at the Barber’s.

Yet it wasn’t to be ‘Hinch’s day during the race, having first made a “Rookie” mistake by spinning harmlessly on lap-1, before becoming entangled in EJ “What, Me Worry?” Viso’s contretemps with “Simona-Simona.” (de Silvestro) As Good For You Hinch – for laying it out there; NOT mincing any words upon just how you felt ‘bout Viso’s STUPID mistake.... Uhm? Word James! Be careful, Viso owns snakes... Just ask Mr. BRUT Arute-Arute ‘bout that; Hya!

Panther Racing: No. 4) J.R. Hildebrand
Start: 15th; Finish: 13th
ICS Starts: 4

With all the Hoopla for Mwah surrounding Hinchcliffe and Pagenaud, it almost seems like Captain America, a.k.a. J.R. Hildebrand got overlooked, as he’s the latest Indy Lights Champion out of this Quintet, with Pagenaud being the only other ex-Lights Champion of the bunch...

Yet, J.R. too spent some time doing ‘Agro work, along with making friends (and contact) with THE GRAMINATOR, giving The Son ‘O Stash a bent Tie-rod in the process, as I’d haveda admit Hildebrand’s race seemed pretty haggard, albeit he did rebound to finish P15 – which was ahead of somebody named Princess...

 Conquest Racing: No. 34) Sebastian Saavedra