Thursday, April 21, 2011

So, is HULIO really ‘Cactus?

Funny slang words I heard whilst Down Under in Melbourne recently at the race track involved the words Butcher’s Picnic and Cactus... which both seem to aptly describe a one Mr. Helio Castroneves, whom I prefer to call HULIO!

Both of those entertaining catch words were used to describe various events during the final days V8 supercars race, as first the PA system’s announcer crackled out over the din of how it was a real Butcher’s Picnic in describing the seven car pile-up that had just occurred, ultimately taking out five of the competitors due to unrepairable damages.

Then later in the same race, when the leader who’d dropped to second place and still needed to make  his mandatory Pitstop to change rubber... Just prior to said Pitstop the announcer said his race was truly Cactus, as he’d be dropping like a stone to ‘round P20 after completing said Pitstop... Thus after I finished laughing over the OZ verbiage – I took the term Cactus to mean TOAST! As in his race was literally toast, eh?

And I’m NOT claiming any great talents of Voyeurism, Err wait – that’s NOT what I meant! I mean any great forseer of le future; BUTT! I did enjoy hearing Kurty Cavin profess on Trackside Tuesday evening what I concluded immediately after Edmonton last year... That HULIO IS CACTUS! As in Will Power has HIS number and is BETTER then he is, not to mention younger...

Whale I suppose I should clarify that actually Cavin said Helio’s pressing to keep up with Will Power, like everybody is right now on the Twisties; Uh DUH!

And I’ve tried NOT reacting to the lump ‘O foul smelling brown stuff ‘lil Al dropped on ALL of us after the Long Beach Shenanigan’s revolving around Juan ‘O the Indy Racing League’s; Err, INDYCAR Series Golden Child’s, a.k.a. “Twinkle Toes...” (NOT to be Cornfuzed with Princess PermaPout...)

Do I think the series favour’s HULIO? WITHOUT A DOUBT!!! And does ‘lil Al’s feigned comments of “We’re watchin’ Yuhs Helio!” Really gonna put the fear of Brian Braveheart or whomever into him? Psst, HULIO; You’re now officaly on Double Secret Probation... So you’d better watch-it buster, or Uhm? We’ll may be, just may be have to do Somme-thun?

Of course Butcher’s Picnic is what exactly Castroneves created in St Pete, Uh gee Brian, I didn’t see Marco braking; Yeah, that’s the ticket! While he certainly was Cactus after Long Beach, as I still don’t understand this he wasn’t trying to “Wink-Wink, Nudge-Nudge,” PASS Justin ‘BIG UNIT Wilson; Huh? You mean he was just out for a Sunday drive? Oh Never Mind!

And perhaps I’m taking this way too far? But has anybody besides me noticed how Helio has NEVER once called Will Power by his name during any of his Post-race interviews over his comings together with his Penske teammate... I dare Yuhs to go watch his interview after both Edmonton and now Long Beach where he can only refer to Power as “HIM.” And DON’T give me this gibberish ‘bout his English not being good, as he had absolutely NO Problema with Ryan’s (Briscoe) name – as surely HULIO know’s Will’s name, as what’s that saying ‘bout keeping your enemy’s closer?

Ok, sorry ‘bout the RANT – but like Meesh sez in What’s good for the Goose... I just wanna see FAIR Officiating in the series... I mean, if I wanna watch contrived penalties ‘N phantom cautions, alls I’ve gotsta due is flip over to RASSCAR! (YOUCH!)

The optics of playing favorites