INDY 500: Searchin’ Far and Wide

Now if I could only find me a decent Tenderloin sandwich to go with my Chips, and something to Drink! (The Tomaso Collection)

 

As the yearly Hunt for the perfect, Classic Jumbo Tenderloin Rolls On…

 

Every May, the Media likes to Salt ‘N Pepper us with stories of People’s yearly Indianapolis 500 traditions, since after all it’s the Gurr-Reatest’ Something Ruther…

 

And although I can No longer recall if I’ve ever Had one? Since I only remember paying $9.00 for a Steak Sandwich during the 2006 USGP Formula 1 race instead, but I digress…

 

Thus for over a Decade Now, I’ve lived vicariously thru the written and spoken word  of one such person with the tradition of Hunting for the elusive, perfect Classic Jumbo Tenderloin Sandwich at Mother Speedway every May! For which this ‘lil Ditty’s in regards to and Good Hunting!

 

Testing Testing, 1-2, 1-2, Is this Thingy’ On?

 

“The Searcher”

I looked Under Stand J

I looked Behind the Museum

I Asked around the Pagoda

But They couldn’t Help Me either

 

They Call Me The Searcher

I’ve been Searchin’ Far and Wide

I Won’t Get to Taste what I Came For

Until I’m Trackside

 

I Asked Doug Boles

I Asked Mark Miles

I Asked Jay Frye

But He Couldn’t  Help Me either

 

They Call Me The Searcher

I’ve been Searchin’ Far and Wide

I Won’t Get to Taste what I Came For

Until I’m Trackside

 

People ten to Scoff at Me

They Think I’m Crazy lookin’ for the perfect Tenderloin

Always interrupting Me to Say Hi George

When I’m putting Mustard on my Bun

 

Finding A Classic Tenderloin

I’ve been Searchin’ for Miles

 

Because I’m The Searcher

And I want A Real Tenderloin

 

And I Won’t Get to Get What I’m After

Until I’m trackside

 

I’ve learned Not to Stop at the First concession Stand

But Yeah look at My Face, Ain’t that A Smile

 

I’m Happy when I’ve found My Classic Tenderloin

Cause I’ve Got Values and I Won’t be Denied

 

I’m lookin’ for Mine

You’re lookin’ for Yours

We’re Both lookin’ together, But we don’t Know where to Turn!

 

They Call Me The Searcher

I’ve been Searchin’ Far and Wide

I Won’t Get to Taste what I Came For

Even if they’re now Twelve Dollars and 50 cents

Until I’m Trackside!

 

This Lyrical Prose was Shamelessly inspired by The Who’s The Seeker song, which Y’all can listen to in the Youtube link below…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAbzlj3nf4E

 

(Originally written by Tomaso on May 15, 2022. Updated on May 16, 2024) 

Prema Racing makes it’s Indianapolis 500 debut

But will both of it’s Bowtie’ entries make the Show?

 

Those of Y’all following IndyCar closely, will already know of this year’s newest IndyCar team’s extensive, and impressive pedigree. As Prema Racing is an European powerhouse in the various Feeder Series, reportedly having fielded 28 drivers in nine championships for 2023.

 

Prema is the reigning Teams Champion in the FIA’s Formula 3 championship, where it fields three entries. The Nos. 1-3 for Italy’s Brando Badoer, Mexico’s Noel Leon and the totally unheard of Yank’ Ugo Ugochukwu.

 

As Brando’s name was instantly familiar to Mwah. As yes, His father is former F1 driver Luca Badoer. Whilst I’m Arse-sumeing that Montoyer’ feller’s surname below needs no explanation, Ci?

 

Prema also has Sebastian Montoya and Gabriele Mini racing for them in Formula 2. The FIA’s final rung on it’s ladder to thee pinnacle ‘O motorsports, aka Formula 1.

 

Prema has won far too many championships to bother typing all of them here. But to note just some of the accomplished driving talent over the years, here’s some that stand out to me.

 

Current Prema Racing IndyCar Sporting Director Ryan Briscoe won the 2001 Italian Formula Renault and 2003 Formula 3 Euro Series titles. K-Squared’, aka Kamui Kobayashi claimed the 2005 Italian Formula Renault and Eurocup Formula Renault 2.0 Championships.

 

Esteban Ocon, Felix Rosenqvist, Lance Stroll and Mick Schumacher won the 2014-2015-2016-2018 FIA Formula 3 European Championship crown respectively.

 

Andrea Kimi Antonelli won both the 2022 Italian and ADAC Formula 4 titles. And  Stroll and Marcus Armstrong won the Italian F4 title with Prema in 2014 and 2017 respectively.

 

Pierre Gasly won the 2016 GP2 title, today’s Formula 2 Championship. Which the former Italian “Powerteam” has also won with Charles Leclerc in 2017, Mick Schumacher in 2020 and Oscar Piastri in 2021.

 

Yet cynics will be quick to point out that European Feeder Series success doesn’t guarantee you anything in IndyCar, with Carlin’s quick demise being the catalyst to this point. Remember then Y’all with Max Chilton and Charlie Kimball?

 

While I won’t lament over the legendous’ engineer Michael Cannon’s hasty exodus prior to the season’s start after signing on as Prema’s Head of Engineering.

 

Prema secured what appears for now to be the final two IndyCar engine leases with Chevrolet, even though they’re currently the only non charter team in IndyCar. Having inked two of it’s former ladder drivers to race for them Stateside. Presumably on de riggour multi-year contracts…

 

Callum Ilott is the team leader, since we all know about His struggles with Juncos Hollinger Racing, (JHR) where Ilott made His IndyCar debut at season’s end in 2021 with a three race “warm-up” on the West coast.

 

Ilott finished fourth overall for Prema Powerteam in the 2017 Formula 3 European championship with six wins and six podium finishes. He was also a Ferrari Driver Academy member between 2017-2021. Along with being both Scuderia Ferrari and Alfa Romeo Racin’s reserve driver in Formula 1. Making His (Free Practice) FP1 debut at the 2021 Portuguese Grand Prix for Alfa Romeo.

 

Ilott finished Vice Champion, Err runner-up to that year’s Formula 2 Champion, Mick Schumacher in 2020. Before gravitating to IndyCar, making His debut for JHR at Portland late 2021.

 

It all went pear-shaped for Ilott at JHR in April, 2023 at the IMS open test, where the team didn’t believe the Englishman telling them the chassis had a major, diabolical flaw. Which the team finally relented and reluctantly built Him another Dallara DW12 chassis, with Ilott vindicating Himself with a 12th place finish in that year’s Indianapolis 500.

 

As Ilott has contested three races at Mother Speedway, with a best finish of 11th last year at Arrow Mclaren. And teamed with His former JHR race engineer, will hopefully shepherd both Prema cars into this year’s Indy 500.

 

Israeli born Russian driver Robert Shwartzman is the team’s rookie driver, who first raced for Prema in the 2018 Formula 3 European Championship. The following year, Shwartzman claimed the inaugural FIA Formula 3 Championship title driving for the Prema Powerteam, before graduating to Formula 2.

 

Shwartzman was paired with the next two year Formula 2 Championship winners, i.e.; Mick Schumacher and Oscar Piastri at Prema, before the FIA banned Russian drivers from participating in 2022.

 

Shwartzman, a la Ilott was a Ferrari Driver Academy member, also between 2017-2022, before being dismissed in 2023. Continued to serve as a Ferrari F1 reserve driver that year, before moving to Sports Cars for 2024. Driving the third AF Corse Ferrari 499P Hypercar entry.

 

As the two Prema Racing IndyCar drivers were part of the Ferrari Driver Academy’s 2017 class, which included Enzo Fittipaldi and Marcus Armstrong.

 

Ironically, Shwartzman competed against Ilott in the World Endurance Championship (WEC) last season. With Ilott scoring Porsche’s first, and only to date privateer victory at thee Mighty Spa, aka Six Hours of Spa-Francorchamps. With Ilott driving for Hertz Team Jota last year, which has become the factory Cadillac effort this season in WEC, where le Hamburgular’, aka Sealmeister B’, nee Sebastien Bourdais has replaced Him…

 

Thus, it will be fascinating to see how Prema Racing fares at this year’s 109th running of the Indianapolis 500. If both cars qualify and how their Month of May pans out. For which I hope both drivers make the “Show” and have a successful race outing. 

Open Wheel Rookies Galore

Although we know that fortunately, some Roundy-Round Star won’t be in consideration this year…

 

Not sure if it’s a condemnation upon the current IndyCar season and it’s typical Oh, so S-L-O-W Drip-Drip-Drip season’s start after a Gory half year’s absence! Before mashing the loud pedal and going Gangbusters thru thoust “Month of May”, even if it’s really only a svelte nine days? At least that’s what I came up with from my initial ryth-muh-tickin’.

 

U2’s bono’ croons in a long ago song title God, Part 2: “You glorify the past, when the future dries up”. Which in hindsight is possibly why I went down another Wabbit’ Hole recently, eh?

 

As I’ve just spent the past three months off ‘n on updating my Formula 1 seasons Entry lists, specifically in search of each year’s rookies class participants, Aye Karumba!

 

Although first I had to create the 1974 F1 season in order to start at year 1975 some four days after this year’s Rolex 24, Remember that Y’all? Finishing just fived days prior to this year’s Miami Grand Prix. When IndyCar was butting heads with F1. And those G-Damn’ Taxicab Bombers!

 

Indy Cars Grand Prix of Alabama began at 10:30AM Pacific on FOX. With my Zap-2-It’ TV guide initially claiming that Formula One’s Miami Grand Prix started at 12 noon on ABC. Although the race coverage actually began at 1:00PM Pacific, and NASCAR’s race coverage was listed as 12:30PM Pacific on FS1.

 

As may be this is why it felt like just plain ‘Ol PR Spin over the IndyCar ratings “rebounding” to an average of 940k viewers for Barber Motorsports Park’s FOX broadcast, with a nearly 20% increase over last year’s NBC viewing.

 

As I still say Penske Entertainment and IndyCar are Fooling themselves if they think the easy solution is simply switching TV Broadcast partners, but I digress…

 

And while I’ve gleaned that Formula One’s largest rookie class was a staggering 20 in 1976! Keep in mind that a total of 55 drivers participated, with 48 actually racing! Which is a far cry from today’s Formula 1, even with this year’s stellar class of four  F1 Wookies’.

 

As I learned that I’ve been incorrect the past several decades, and that F1 rookie status is any driver with only two total Grands Prix starts to His, or Her career. Since there’s been only a handful of Femme Fatales attempting to race in Formula 1 the past half decade.

 

As I suppose I was Cornfuzed’ since IndyCar allows rookie status of up to four races in a season. Since that was the chatter about Nolan Siegel initially trying to preserve His rookie status last year with Dale Coyne Racing before going fulltime with Arrow McLaren…

 

Yet strangely, Formula 1, or more correctly, the Federation Internationale de l’Automobile, nee FIA doesn’t have a Rookie Of the Year (ROY) award a la IndyCar strictly for F1.

 

Instead, the FIA has only given out a Rookie Of the Year award since 2014 which is open to single seaters and rally racing. Handed out at the yearly FIA prize gala, with last year’s award winner being Formula 2 Champion Gabriel Bortoleto.

 

As soon, if not already? We’ll be talking about this year’s crop of four Indianapolis 500 rookies, provided they All make the show! Even if once again we’ll be discussing Kyle Larson ad nauseum, Groan!

 

By my unofficial reckoning, Nolan Siegal, Louis Foster, Jacob Abel and Robert Shwartzman are this year’s four Indianapolis 500 rookies.

 

Of this quartet you’d have to say on “paper” that Shwartzman is the most likely to not qualify. Since His very first Oval experience came during the Open test Rookie Orientation Program (ROP) at Mother Speedway during April 23-24.

 

At least that’s what I initially thought. Having since learned that Shwartzman and Louis Foster both participated in a rookie oval test at Gateway on April 15th. When I was trying to no avail to find any articles upon the four drivers passing ROP, which I also Arse-sume they did, El Correctomundo?

 

Shwartzman has the added pressure of racing for the brand new Prema Racing IndyCar team, but apparently is one “Cool” customer who didn’t get too rattled by the fire He experienced at the Thermal club!

 

Interestingly, Shwartzman, Foster and Jacob Abel all hadn’t driven an single seater with the Aeroscreen until this March. Along with the addition of the still relatively new Hybrid, Err Energy Recovery System. (ERS)

 

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Nolan Siegel, who impressed with His failed rookie attempt to qualify for last year’s Indianapolis 500 for the plucky Dale Coyne Racing (DCR) outfit. And surely will qualify this year driving for Arrow Mclaren, Righto?

 

Know that Mike Hull of Chip Ganassi Racing (CGR)  was Uber impressed with Shwartzman the day they tested Him, Wayback’ in January, 2023. Whilst CGR was also very impressed with Abel, who tested for them at Texas Motor Speedway before joining DCR.

 

Whilst both Shwartzman and Siegel have race in the 24 Heurs du Mans, with Shwartzman driving for AF Corse in the top tier Ferrari 499P Hypercar with Robert Kubica and Yifei Ye.

 

Meanwhile, Foster is the reigning Indy NXT Champion, having won 10 of 28 races during His two seasons driving for Andretti Global.

 

Foster who now drives for Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing also could face an uphill battle, due to RLLR”s last two year’s struggles at IMS. Not to mention Takuma Sato needing a new Dallara DW12 chassis built-up for Him following this year’s open test.

 

But Foster should be able to lean upon not only a two time winner in Sato, but Graham Rahal should be a steadying influence Me thinks…

 

As IndyCar.com’s Eric Smith notes in His Louis Foster making progress article, beginning with Barber’s. IndyCar will be in the “Meat” of it’s schedule, racing over 14 of the next 16 weekends, Youza!

 

So I’d say the two drivers scrapping for the proverbial “P33” are Shwartzman and Foster. But we’ve already seen five drivers experiencing trouble during the open test.

 

As we know about Sato’s heavy wall tag, with Golden boy Kyle Larson also hitting the wall in Turn-1, both during Thursday morning’s simulated “High-boost” Qualie’ settings.

 

Yet Santino Ferrucci needed to replace His Chevrolet engine. Jack Harvey suffered an ERS failure, and Graham Rahal lightly brushed the wall; All of which could happen during the oh, so important qualifying sessions… 

Indy NXT returns to Action, in Earnest

But like it’s Big Brother IndyCar and Alex Palou. Can anybody stop Denis Hauger?

 

Yeah, your Humble, Haggard No Fenders scribe Tomaso’s another dollar short and several days late…

 

Have to say I agree with For the Love of Indy’s Raymond Hando over how exhausting the sheer volume of negativity surrounding IndyCar is, albeit much is self inflicted, unfortunately…

 

Case-in-point is the series yearly inability to smooth out it’s schedule and the Uber annoying three week breaks at season’s beginning, after we’ve waited another agonizing six month to go racing once again!

 

Yet think those three week gaps are annoying? Then think about how the Indy NXT competitors and it’s Fans feel over the totally ridiculous 63 Freakin Days gap between it’s St Pete season kickoff and round two last weekend at thee Barber’s, nee Barber Motorsports Park on May 4th, nine weeks later, Youza!

 

Naturally, much has happened since I last listened to an Indy NXT race, for which I “Drop-in” for the Alabama round., the first I’ve listened to since I Dunno, sometime last year.

Learning that Indiana native Kirk Dooley was named Director of Indy NXT by Firestone on April 7th, and will oversee all operations and competition of the Feeder series.

 

Dooley previously served as IndyCar’s Chief of Staff between 2015-16. In in 2016, Dooley was named Director of Executive Operations for Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Leaving in 2020 to served as Chief Operating Officer of the Skip Barber racing schools.

 

Was ready to scribble all about Doce Femme Fatales in Indy NXT this year, before learning nearly one month after the fact that Sophia Floersch had ended Her Indy NXT campaign with HMD Motorsports, Huh?

 

As the 24yr old German driver reportedly had a misunderstanding with Her primary sponsor according to Racer’s Marshall Pruett and thus She and HMD Motorsports parted ways immediately, with no word on what Floersch will do next?

 

As Sophia qualified P17 and finished P12, two positions ahead of HMD Motorsports rookie Hailie Deegan. As Deegan makes Her transition to single seaters, with the Temecula, California native being known for Her Offroad and  NASCAR career. In ARCA, Trucks and Xfinity.

 

On a side note, learned earlier this season that Jace Denmark, who’s now racing for TJ Speed Motorsports in His third USF Pro 2000 campaign Has been signed as an HMD Motorsports development driver…

 

Norway’s Dennis Hauger claimed His first “Grand Salami”, Err Grand Slam on His rookie debut for Andretti Global. As Hauger is the first Indy NXT driver since Linus Lundqvist in 2021 to win on debut.

 

Hauger led wire-to-wire from pole, and set fastest lap. Along wit leading rookie Lochie Hughes in an Andretti Global 1-2 finish, ahead of Caio Collet, driving for HMD Motorsports.

 

Myles Rowe of Abel Motorsports with Force Indy tied His series best finish in fourth, with Salvador de Alba, also of Andretti global rounding out the top five.

 

HMD Motorsports signed Kirkland, WA native Evagoras Papasavvas to replace the departing Bryce Aron. With Aron moving onto Chip Ganassi Racing’s Indy NXT team for the remainder of the season as Jonathan Browne’s replacement.

 

While Hauger once again cruised home for His second win in dominating fashion, with a second wire-to-wire victory from pole. The story of the weekend was Papasavvas’s Indy NXT debut.

 

Papasavvas, who raced in USF2000 the past two years, initially had signed a partial season deal with HMD Motorsports. A three race deal beginning at Gateway and concluding at Mid-Ohio. Yet the HMD Motorsports reserve driver, who impressed during a Mid-Ohio test, was called-up as Aron’s replacement four round two.

 

Evagoras won His maiden USF2000 race at Mid-Ohio, His hometown track in 2023. Followed by a second win at Toronto and fourth in that year’s USF2000 Championship.

 

On debut at Barber Motorsports Park, Papasavvas qualified third, inherited second when Caio Collet had a throttle issue, and held off a menacing Lochie Hughes, Myles Rowe and Josh Pierson to finish Vice Champion, Err runner-up!

 

Hughes tried everything He could think of, with Rowe and Pierson nipping at His Heals, all to nought…

 

Indy NXT contests a Double Header outing on Indianapolis’s road course this Friday-Saturday.

 

While can anybody catch the red-hot Hauger? Who’s two back-to-back wins on debut matches Ed Jones start to His 2015 Indy Lights season. As Jones would win the first three races in-a-row before finishing third overall behind Spencer Pigot and Jack Harvey… 

Clearing the Air

And I’m not talking about the overwhelming amounts of particulates in the environment these days…

 

First off, I am not an Engineer, nor an Aerodynamicist. Or pretend to know the intricacies of either profession. That said, I have become disappointed over how much the term “clean” and “Dirty” Air’s being thrown round in current Formula 1 Grands Prix.

 

I would Arse-sume that cheating the air has existed in the design of modern racing cars since they began being created. Not to mention this aspect of aerodynamics has been applied to production automobiles forever, with modern cars lowering of their “CD” number, i.e.; Coefficient of Drag being pursued vigorously. While I’m not certain if locomotive trains from the 1930’s benefitted from this practice?

 

The first modern Grand Prix racecar that popped up upon thoust radar’s internal Jukebox was the 1937 Auto Union Streamliner, known as the Type C Stromlinie. Having competed at the world’s fastest race course AVUS in Germany  in 1937 vs. Mercedes Benz All conquering Stromlinienwagen. A series of three Mercedes Benz, Err Daimler AG Grand Prix racecars fitted with streamlined bodywork. With both the W125 and W25 chassis utilized.

 

Herman Lang won the “One-off” high speed event at AVUS, replete with it’s “Wall of Death” turn, a banked curve of some 42-45 degrees banking constructed from brick. Hmm, that bricks idea sounds familiar to Mwah…

 

Lang won the event aboard a W25 Grand Prix racecar with said streamliner bodywork. Where the long straightaways allowed for top speeds nearing 400kph, or a remarkable 248.50mph, Sheisa!

 

Whilst fast forwarding to today. The Indianapolis Motor Speedway’s Mercedes W196 Streamliner driven by Juan Manuel Fangio just sold at auction for a whopping $53 million, the second most expensive racecar ever!

 

Scary to think I’ve been following Formula 1 for nearly four decades now, meaning it’s really hard to remember everything that’s happened over that time span, Ja volt! But I tend to believe that aerodynamics became the rage in F1 in the early 1960’s, when the first wings sprouted on Grand Prix machinery. With this push for these Aero’ gains culminating with the failures of high mounted rear wings. For which a certain Pete Lovely’s late 1960’s Lotus racecar comes to mind. Which I think was a Lotus 49?

 

As the win “pylons” were simply failing due to being overstressed by the aerodynamic downforce loads being exerted upon them!

 

Then I’ve just been reminded about the foray into the sliding skirt era by Racer’s Marshall Pruett. As this early 1980’s F1 era saw designers trying to create a vacuum of low pressure? Underneath said racecar to “glue” it to the circuit with the aid of ground effects and the car’s wings, which were basically inverted airfoils to push the chassis down to increase cornering speeds. If I understand the concept correctly?

 

As it was the late colin Chapman and His legendary Team Lotus that pioneered this concept with the Lotus 78 that Mario Andretti claimed the F1 Drivers World Championship with.

 

Aerodynamics have always been at the forefront of Formula 1 chassis design as long as I can remember. Although it seems like we enjoyed great on-track skirmishes over the decades, or at least from the 1980’s to the early 2000’s. Which may have been due to the cars massive amounts of horsepower? Although today’s racecars are no slouches!

 

Whilst the last, great scrum I recall seems to be Nico Rosberg v Lewis Hamilton in equally prepared Mercedes in 2016. Along with the superb “Dust-up” between Hamilton and Max Verstappen over the 2021 season…

 

Making me wonder if today’s Formula 1 chassis have simply become too Aero-efficient? As I don’t know what year the Drag Reduction System (DRS) came into effect? But I do know that the current chassis were hailed as the biggest overhaul in quite awhile for their 2022 technical rule changes. Specifically designed to encourage closer following of a leading car, and promote overtaking. Which we’re now seeing a total lack of, regarding who’s leading the Grand Prix.

 

DRS was implemented in Formula 1 in 2011, and ceases at the end of 2025, when the new Aerodynamic Aids come into effect…

 

The current Grand Prix races have seen nothing more than the pole sitter either lead start to finish, or the car that get’s out front, i.e.; Oscar Piastri at the first corner in Jeddah going on to win. As the cars simply run best in “clean” Air and I suppose due to the convergence of design. Now struggle to run faster in what the Pundits call “Dirty” Air, which seemingly is the wake or vortex created behind the leading racecar…

 

As I don’t know if my example’s correct? But this is somewhat akin to being buffedted by the “Dirty” Air coming off a semi-truck from a far distance behind it. As we won’t digress into the realm of draftin…

 

IndyCar doesn’t seem totally adverse to this situation either, as it seems that I’ve heard drivers saying you don’t want to be too far in the pack at Mother Speedway. Although the cars do seem to “suck-up” better, where you don’t necessarily wish to be the leading car at the end of the Indianapolis 500. As just ask both Marcus Ericsson and Pato O’Ward about that!

 

Sadly, I feel that la Scuderia boss Frederic Vausser’s words are poetic? Err, Uhm prescient. With the Scuderia Ferrari team principal noting at Suzuka that this year’s F1 Championship will most likely be won during qualifying, Sigh! Since apparently the design staffs have clawed back the lost performance, which they always do. And now the F1 cars are simply too similar in performance, leading to lack of overtaking at the front of the grid, leading to rather dull races.

 

And yeah, I know that both Charles Leclerc and Lando Norris  managed to overtake George Russell for positions on-track with the aid of their DRS at Jeddah. Yet it was only third and fourth place. With Oscar Piastri controlling the race ahead of Max Verstappen.

 

Yet recall that even when Piastri got within DRS range of Verstappen, He was unable to pass Him. While Williams Carlos Sainz Jr. brilliantly led, and allowed teammate Alex Albon to follow in DRS range andeffectively create a DRS “train” which Racing Bulls Isack Hadjar couldn’t overcome. With the trio finishing P8-9-10 respectively…

 

Next year, Formula 1 is set to implement it’s biggest raft of technical rule changes with the advent of both new chassis and Power Units. (PU) As the chassis are said to be “smaller”, more nimbler and weigh less, and feature moving aerodynamic “devices”, i.e.; front and rear wings. With just two fixed positions available, i.e.; fuel efficiency or “High” downforce modes.

 

While the PU’s will feature a 50/50 split between Electric and Internal Combustion Engine (ICE) power output. With a third item of consideration being the redesigned, narrower 18-inch Pirelli tyres for said racecars…

 

And so it goes, as will 2025 be the season that diminishes Formula One’s current wave of popularism? And how will the 2026 F1 season pan out? 

Domination, Indeed!

Although that’s not the word that came to mind…

 

What can I say about the utter domination of two drivers this past weekend, Eh?

 

As IndyCar Radio’s Mike Gravelly’ James kept saying the word domination when describing Alex Palou’s performance at thee Barbers’. As I’d say that Palou took the Barber shears to His competition! Leading a Mega’ 81 of 90 laps at Barber Motorsports Park in Leeds, Alabama Sunday.

 

As I simply marveled over Palou’s domination, cruising home to a 16-plus seconds lead, for which all I could say was the word Annihilation!

 

And if you thought the IndyCar race was boring, well, I fell asleep just past the halfway point of the Miami Grand Prix! Although the first 13 laps were certainly exciting! And how can you not appreciate Verstappen’s tenacity, Eh!

 

But as Sky Sports F1 lead pundit Kroftie’, aka David Kroft said later on. The two McLarens were in another Post code Sunday at the Hard Rock Stadium! And Oscar Piastri’s winning by 36+ seconds over Mercedes third place George Russell was total Annihilation!

 

As I’d thought that Palou had put a Beatdown on the IndyCar field, which He did! Now leading the championship by 60 points over unlikely second place Christian Lundgaard. But what does Piastri’s tour de force say about Formula 1? Claiming McLaren’s first three-peat by a driver since Mika Hakkinen during 1997-98, Crikeys!

 

Ironically, I heard ScottyMac’, aka Scott McLaughlin musing sometime over the weekend about Clean Air, as there’s those words again…

 

While you’d have to give Lewis Hamilton an A+ for sarcasm during the Miami Grand Prix. First telling His Ferrari team to have a Tea break while they’re at it! Regarding swapping positions with teammate Charles Leclerc.

 

And then when told to let Leclerc back by and having to wait for Him to overtake. When Lewis’s race engineer told Him that Williams Carlos Sainz was 1.4 seconds behind. Hamilton quipped do you want me to let Him by too? 

Rotten Tomatoes, or should that be Tamales?

Y’all say PanaMax, I say Canamax…

 

Previously, the Armani Canamax champ car team was in the midst of a slate of rotating drivers. Most notably Jaque Dudley from Up North Eh! Having been dumped after our new Pretender-in-chief Billy Jo Bradshaw had won election to our nation’s highest office in a big, beautiful landslide…

 

Thus, the teams major Domo, a one Preston Henry Winchester III was hard at work as always to ring a few more ounces of performance out of His racing teams, and ultimately improving it’s owners and shareholders bottom lines.

 

Audrey,  get Dumfries, Duquione and Duncan on the line for me. Yes Mr. Winchester. Mr. W’, Baron Dumfries is currently in the Cotswold’s at His Hunting Chalet, but I’ve got (Junior partner) Gerrard Duncan on the phone…

 

Gerrard, what’s the latest on our lawsuit vs. that Pipsqueak Jonathan Truxbury? What do you mean He won’t pay the $100m (Australian Pounds) I’m requesting!

 

Very well. Look, every Damn time that Fucking ‘lil No Good Truxbury wins a race, I want you to request an extra $2 million in putative damages. And every time He finishes ahead of any of my Armani Champ Cars, tack on an extra one million! As that should make that Bloody Limey squirm!

 

Now look Gerrard, the reason I called was that we’ve got to do something about the illegal usage of the word Panamax All these wanton Burmese ship builders are building lately. As it’s leaving a bad stain upon our racing company…

 

Yeah, I’ll call my buddy Elroid in DC and see if He can get me a meeting with our Fearless leader.

 

Audrey, aske our truck driver Roscoe Snow to come see me immediately. Yes Mr. W. You asked to see me Mr. Winchester.

 

Does your ‘Ol Man still have His 50th Anniversary Peterbilt KP900 tractor that He used to haul Coors from Texarkana? Good, ask Him if He can meet me in Nashville at the Mockingbird Cafe tomorrow afternoon, its important. Yes Mr. Winchester. And tell Himn to leave His dog Butch Home…

 

Audrey, I’m going for a drive in the countryside. Tell Hugo to bring over my Canamax SP500 Special Spyder pronto, even if He’s at the Gym!

 

Hey Elroid, “What’s the Haps?” Yeah, you’re telling me about the price of Eggs! Thar’ one of our signature pancake brand’s main ingredient.  Yes Elroid, I’m calling on an encrypted SpartoCuss’ App. No, I didn’t add any of my family to it, What, Oh Never Nind elroid!

 

Look, I’d really like to meet with El Presidente to find out what He’s gonna do about the Peruvian Canal? Or at the very least tack on some sort of Canal usage fee to All of these PanaMax cargo ships sailing round the world. As they’re infringing upon our brand name…

 

Look, just let Him play with some of your Double Eagle gold pieces and Silver dollars. As He likes shiny things. Oh, I’ve gotta take this call from Achmed pdiumSoulayium. He’s threatening to Fine one of our drivers for saying the word Fart on the podium in Dubai…

 

Hello Mr. Snow, I’m glad you could join me for lunch. Yes, your son Roscoe’s doing a bang-up job for us. Now look Mr. Snow, or can I call you Cletus?

 

Ok Snowman’, here’s the deal. I’ve got to get 45,000 Grade Double A cage free snow downy pampered Eggs off of my books immediately before they All Hatch! No, I really thought we’d be able to move them over the Easter weekend…

 

Your son Roscoe’s loading them in a Gold Peterbilt KP9000C 100th Anniversary Sleeper tractor. All you’ve got to do is drive them up to The Great White North! To our William Joseph & Sons Bakery, where we’ll use them to make Doughnuts. And then return with 500 cases of O’Flaughtery’s Beer.

 

Yeah I know that there’s Triple-rate Dutys to pay now for crossing into our fine northern state, but you leave that to me. As I’m getting Billy Jo Bradshaw to write us a note saying we Don’t have to pay these, and you’ve got special permission to transport whatever you want!

 

Yeah, I’ve already spoken to the Bandit’. And Clint says He and His Old Lady Sally are in also, and will run interference for you like always.

 

Nope, they’re going in separate cars this time, since we know how they like to go Skinny-dipping at Niagara Falls! As Clint will be driving a black Canamax C45 Hypercar. While Sally will be running Caboose in Her black Canamax Rosberg LP675 tribute model.

 

As the three of you really shouldn’t have any problems outrunning those Mounty’, even if they’re on Arabian Horses. Any questions Cletus?

 

You’ll pick up the Brewsi’ at the Marigold Brewery. It’s an ‘Ol converted Labatts brewery that Billy Jo’s eldest son William owns.

 

Nobody knew that Billy Jo has a younger brother named Shane Bradshaw who was a Major League Baseball pitcher who played for the Blue Jays. Whale’ nobody knew until some Rolling Stones reporter listened into Billy Jo’s wife Lisa Maria telling Her Hairdresser via Her private SpartoCuss account. Look, I Dunno why His wife added that Rolling Stones reporter to Her private chat…

 

Yep, the Bradshaw’s are an old Irish family that made their fortunes growing potatoes, before branching into the Distillery business. And they were doing a brisk business with their O’Flaughtery Beer brand Up North Eh! Before All those G-Damn patriotic Kuhnucks’ started drinking Jack Dudley’s signature beer instead. As they’ll drink anything that’s made in their fine, beautiful state.

 

So I promised billy Jo I’d bring some of His brother’s favourite beer if He comes to watch us win this year’s Iron Maiden 5000 at the Speedrome in Brownsburg…

 

Yep, you’re right we’d better throw in another 500 cases just in case we do win. I’m sure Billy Jo will wanna throw a party with All of His Friends!

 

Mr. Snow, if you’ll do this favour for me, I’ll throw in the KP9000C tractor for you to keep. And I’ll buy you and your son anything you want for dinner at Saint Elmos in Carmel. Yeah, the Bandit and His wife can com too. Hell, sure even Butch is included! Do we have a deal?

 

Great, I’ll send you the coordinates for the W.J. Sons Bakery and where to deliver those ice cold O’flattery’s Brewski’s on SpartoCuss…

 

What? You don’t have a SpartoCuss account? Ok, I’ll get Roscoe to let you know via your Ham radio or whatever contraption your ‘Ol KP900 rig has in it. 10-4 Good Buddy!

 

Catch Yuhs at the Speedrome in Brownsburg. As you and Butch are welcome to join me in our luxury Turn-3 suite. Just make sure you leave the front row seats vacant for Billy Jo and His entourage…

 

For the previous Canamax Capers installment. Please visit the following No Fenders link below.

 IndyCar’s Old Fashion Radio programme Continues